Verbal abuse from parents, coaches is causing a referee shortage in youth sports

MWN said:
From the SCDSL Rules and Regulations:
g. Game procedures For all SCDSL games teams will sit on one side of the field and the spectators on the opposite side of the field mirroring their respective team. The Home team will have choice of bench. It is the responsibility of each team to monitor their spectator behavior during each game. Home team can’t be responsible for the behavior of the opposing team. Managers should introduce themselves to each other on the spectator side of the field. If issues arise, managers should handle by speaking to each other and having the manager speak directly to the spectator involved rather than confrontations between spectators.

My comment regarding "who's job" it is was, was jaded by the fact that I referee many SCDSL games and my kid plays in the SCDSL. I appreciate that there is a difference between the various leagues and CSL and Presidio have a different take and put the responsibility on the coach. When parents are on the same side, the Team Manager is the point of contact, not the coach. Ultimately, we referees have a "toolbox" of techniques to get sideline compliance. My personal experience is that I need fewer tool when the parents are on the same side. I can address all parents by approaching a single sideline if I have to control behavior of both (the general rule) ... just much easier for me to scold the kids ... err ... adults acting like kids.
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Thanks for the info. We're playing SCDSL this fall so we will get to see how it works first hand. I don't think our manager is aware of the rule, I'm sure she will be thrilled! Of course, its much more difficult to have a confrontation when parents are on opposite sides. Fortunately, parent v. parent confrontations are uncommon.
 
MWN said:
My experience is different and here is why:

(1) Coaches that demand "respect" by the players and parents have no issues with whatever side the parents are on.

(2) Coaches that are prone to disrespectful behavior tolerate parents that show the same qualities. The "come on Ref!!!" shouts are intensified with the parents joining in the call they disagreed with. Moreover, coaches that tend to argue calls tend to simply have no concept of the Laws relating to fouls (mostly, "handling" (or "handball")) and view every single foul through their rose-colored glasses, whether its trifling, careless, reckless or excessive ... everything is reckless or excessive. This lack of knowledge infects the parents who are all in earshot and their support of the stupid-ass coach magnifies the sideline discord. Depending on the age of the kids, the discord then infects the players.

(3) Controlling the sidelines is not the job of the coach. This is the "Team Managers" job, which is why I make all the team managers sit on the parents sideline ... even though they like to sneak over to the coaches bench. When I have a parent out of line, I address the parent's behavior with a verbal warning and make sure the "team manager" knows that both the parent and the manager will be watching from the parking lot if the behavior does not change. The team managers are generally very quick to jump up and address the problem. At half, I inform the coach as well.

(4) When parents are all on the same side, there is less frequent disrespectful or inflammatory comments at each other. Its amazing the courage displayed by parents when separated by 75 yards. Put them on the same side-line and "Mr. I'll Kick Your Ass" becomes just a parent. Its kinda like the anonymity of the Internet Forums we see here.

I tend to see far less "parent" problems with SCDSL and Cal South tournaments, like State and National Cup (that separates the sidelines) and more problems with CSL and Presidio that let's parents sit on opposite sides. In addition, its much easier to manage substitutions and ascertain parent v. coach disrespect when they are separate.
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I agree with almost everything you stated. U13 and below I prefer teams with parents to be on the same touch line and the other team and parents across the field. This seems to allow the coaches and managers greater control over the clueless parents. The majority of the U14 and above have been around long enough to learn some of the LOTG and how they should be applied. They usually behave themselves across the field from the coach.
 
The need for more educated or more seasoned referees is evident. The control of the game is necessary in order to avoid unnecessary injuries and disrespect from the parents. I have seen a lot of refs that do not run close to the play and can't see fouls or jerseys being pulled. Referees need to RUN and be close to the action. There are no consequences for those refs who stay mostly in the middle of the field and don't set a pace of the game from the get go. When the refs do a good job, I like to thanked them after a game.
 
MWN said:
From the SCDSL Rules and Regulations:
g. Game procedures For all SCDSL games teams will sit on one side of the field and the spectators on the opposite side of the field mirroring their respective team. The Home team will have choice of bench. It is the responsibility of each team to monitor their spectator behavior during each game. Home team can’t be responsible for the behavior of the opposing team. Managers should introduce themselves to each other on the spectator side of the field. If issues arise, managers should handle by speaking to each other and having the manager speak directly to the spectator involved rather than confrontations between spectators.
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I guess it depends on which quote we cherry pick from the SCDSL rules:

"Coaches are responsible for their team sideline and parent sideline and all actions therein. Coaches are expected to coach their teams in a positive and respectful manner. The SCDSL encourages referees to discipline any coach for irresponsible behavior if the coach, player or parent uses derogatory words or actions aimed at their players the opposing team’s players, coach or sideline or any of the referees."

Certainly the managers are used as a tool to keep parents in line (which is a good idea) but the coaches are ultimately responsible for the parents.
 
Been both sides and not only does SCDSL not enforce this but Managers don't either. No one likes to be the one going up to anyone. It's a toothless rule and has been since 2014.
I agree it all trickles down from the Coach. No one cares about the ref or another manager- they care if their coach benches their kid. That is the ONLY thing I have seen effective. Sad but true unfortunately
 
Sons of Pitches said:
Silent September in South Carolina - no sounds from the sideline - just watch the game and shut up!!

http://www.msn.com/en-us/sports/soc...-sidelines/ar-BBDQbHE?li=BBnbfcL&ocid=SK2GDHP
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Not even cheering...wow! But that's why it won't last...they are trying to immunize the refs by putting it on the coach but the ref is still required to take the first step. Scenario: Kid makes a great goal snuffing the keeper. Applause from the strikers bench, awwws from the keepers. Ref now needs to make a decision....some will be sticklers, others will let the cheer slide because it was a great moment. For the ones that let it slide, the line now becomes hard to draw....soon parents are yelling "get it", yelling instructions to players, yelling at the ref. If the ref intervenes now, he has a fight because the parents and coaches will protest the other side just cheered for a goal but you did nothing. If the ref does nothing, it spins out of control and the rule becomes toothless. If the ref is a stickler in the first place....well maybe just maybe the parents get the message, but maybe someone in the crowd doesn't....it now becomes a major incident with the parents complaining well ref x didn't do it last week. My prediction is that this is unlikely to work...that's why it's only a month...it's a bandaid. Short of changing the culture (which would require changing all the incentives, including the payment systems for the coaches and refs and the recruiting process for the players and most importantly, the way playing time works), it's a bandaid and unlikely to have much impact beyond giving refs grief. I know I wouldn't want to police this rule....a refs job is already hard enough as it is.
 
AYSO does this for a weekend. Its boring, no energy, and the players don't like it. But still better than the opposite side of the spectrum.
 
coachrefparent said:
AYSO does this for a weekend. Its boring, no energy, and the players don't like it. But still better than the opposite side of the spectrum.
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As a ref I didn't like it either. In our region, until over U10 you aren't supposed to throw anyone (coach, parent, player) out of the game if you could and you aren't supposed to show cards. It left me in the roll of reminderer to the parents on top of having to ref the entire game by myself including watching constantly for the offside (no linesman). I made an effort to skip that weekend ever since. The parents of the littlest of the ULittles were the worst...they'd just ignore the rule (but then I had coaches on the field, sometimes physically moving their players).
 
Grace T. said:
As a ref I didn't like it either. In our region, until over U10 you aren't supposed to throw anyone (coach, parent, player) out of the game if you could and you aren't supposed to show cards. It left me in the roll of reminderer to the parents on top of having to ref the entire game by myself including watching constantly for the offside (no linesman). I made an effort to skip that weekend ever since. The parents of the littlest of the ULittles were the worst...they'd just ignore the rule (but then I had coaches on the field, sometimes physically moving their players).
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I wouldn't referee those games either. What region is this?
 
coachrefparent said:
I wouldn't referee those games either. What region is this?
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I wouldn't badmouth a particular region online. My experience with them, in any case, wasn't much out of line with the AYSO region for my older, or the Latino league. Their hearts are in the right place and they do the best that they can, given what they have to work with.

I was just up at the LA Galaxy-SJ Earthquakes game. Despite being warned against it, some people in the crowd still used the Spanish "P" word slur, plus not to mention "F-LA" and lot's of cursing out the refs for failures to call fouls which weren't (and in the end, the game was decided because the refs decided not to call a handball against San Jose in the penalty area). And all with tons of children present for the fireworks (hey, think of the children!). If the professional league is going to tolerate this kind of behavior from it's fans, hey that's where the bar gets set on down.
 
coachrefparent said:
AYSO does this for a weekend. Its boring, no energy, and the players don't like it. But still better than the opposite side of the spectrum.
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A few years back my daughter played AYSO as U10 and the region did a "Silent Saturday". The girls all said they liked it. We had a pretty good sideline on that team, too. I still like refereeing those games and enjoyed them as a parent. It is a little eerie, but like is quoted above, it is better than what we too often see. A minority of ignorant parents berating everyone and yelling stupid instructions to the players.

For me, it was a big eye opener and changed me as a parent/spectator. I think it is worthwhile. The purpose isn't to protect the referee's by the way, as was stated somewhere above. It is to get parents to take a step back and allow their own kid to play and have fun without being yelled at.
 
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