JeterwastheBEST
SILVER ELITE
Alright, you guys thought my first rant was salty ? Buckle the fuck up, AGAIN, because I’m about to take you down the GOPHER HOLE of what I like to call the SoCal Youth Soccer Mafia™. That’s right. My first rant about the High School shitstorm was just the goddamn appetizer. The real corruption ? The piping hot meat ? It’s the shady, backdoor, cash-fueled cartel of youth soccer in SoCal, where money and shadowy-ass CONNECTIONS talk, while hardwork and dedication get stuffed up your ass.
This is not just a high school soccer problem. This is a systemic, top-down, backroom deal-level SCAM that spans CLUBS, ACADEMIES, HIGH SCHOOLS, and every single "elite" system in this godforsaken state. If soccer is supposed to be the beautiful game, these clipboard-holding assholes have turned it into the corporate Squid Game.
Step 1 : The Club Pyramid Scheme™
Let’s start with the clubs because that’s where this absolute fuckery begins. Every club in SoCal markets itself like it’s the golden ticket to playing pro or some bullshit. “West Coast Elite SoCal Premier.” “Riverside Galaxy FC Elite Academy.” “South Bay Surf FC ECNL.” "Your first MILESTONE to reach your professional DREAMS !!!" Those polished ass names alone make it sound like they’ve got FIFA scouts hiding behind every bush, just waiting to pounce. Spoiler alert: THEY DON’T GIVE A SHIT.
Here’s the first part of the scam : pay-to-play. These clubs don’t give a flying fuck about talent or how much blood, sweat and tears you can piss. What they care about is your parents’ credit score. Oh, your family can shell out $1,500 a season ? Your mom drives a Mercedes and your dad wears a Rolex ? Congrats, Brayden ! You’ve got a spot. Oh, you’re actually good but can’t afford it ? Sorry, motherfucker, better luck next lifetime.
But wait, it gets better. Want to TRY OUT for one of these "pro academies" ? (Those are like clubs on triple steroids + more dick sucking) Yeah, that’ll be $190 just to register for an LA Galaxy tryout. Just to fucking register. As in, pay money to maybe get selected, but if you don’t, they keep your cash. "Thanks for trying out ! Now fuck you !" And if you make it ? Congrats, son ! Now go tell mommy to give those $3,500, we're on the PATHWAY to get you to the MLS afterall ! And don’t forget the "uniform fees," the "training fees," and the constant “mandatory tournament trips” to places like Arizona or Nevada. It's like a goddamn Ponzi scheme for cleats.
Oh, and those “scholarship” spots they like to brag about ? Pure corporate bullshit. They throw a few crumbs to one or two kids just to make their Instagram look good, and make it look like they're "changing lives" or some shit.
Step 2 : The Academy Pipe Dream
Let’s talk about the so-called “elite academies”—MLS Next, ECNL, GA, whatever-the-fuck-they’re-calling-it-now. These academies market themselves as the chosen path to D1 colleges or pro teams. But guess what ? They’re just glorified clubs with an even higher price tag and more politics.
Take MLS Next, for example. Sounds prestigious, right ? WRONG. You still gotta pay. And I’m not talking pocket change—I’m talking $3,000–$5,000 a season, plus travel, plus gear, plus whatever shady fees they tack on because they can. And you’d think that paying all this money means top-tier coaching, right ? Nope. Half these coaches are washed-up dudes who only know how to yell “PRESS !” and “RECOVER !”
But here’s the kicker : even getting into these academies is rigged. Tryouts are a joke. They already have their “core players” pre-selected. You think they’re actually scouting ? Nah, they’re just collecting fees from all the desperate parents who think their kid’s the next Messi.
And don’t even get me started on the politics. These academies are basically run by cliques. It’s not what you know; it’s WHO you know. If your dad golfs with the academy director, congrats, you’re on the roster. If not ? Fuck off, you broke piece of shit. I don't even remember your name.
Step 3 : The High School-Club Cartel
Now here’s where shit gets real shady. The SHADOWY OVERLAP between high school and club soccer is the most toxic, corrupt, incestuous relationship in sports. SOMEHOW, all these high school coaches have deep ties to the local clubs. They're IN BED with eachother. (only metaphorically though, I hope) It’s like they all go to the same underground poker game or some shit.
So, when tryouts roll around, guess who makes the team ? The CLUB KIDS. The same kids who’ve been funneling money into the system for years. If you’re an AYSO kid, or God forbid, a street soccer player who plays on the appartment's cracked asphalt, they look at you like have stage 8 cancer, as if you beat up their son Aiden who's on Varsity but loses the ball more often than I spam-screamed "BALL BALL BALL BALL BALL" during every fucking scrimmage.
The high school tryouts ? Pure theater. Just a dog-and-pony show to make it look like the coaches are “evaluating talent.” It's the FAT covering the meat in this absolute shitshow. In reality, they’ve already got their varsity and JV rosters locked in before tryouts even start. How ? Because they already know the club kids. They’ve been coaching them in club, or their club buddies vouched for them.
And let’s talk about these high school coaches for a second. Most of them are also CLUB COACHES. They’re double-dipping, milking both systems for cash and power. They’re not developing players—they’re developing their connections. They're not coaches, they're fucking POLITICIANS with clipboards that are SURGICALLY ATTACHED to their hands. I swear to God, I'm almost sure they're even showering with those clipboards or some shit.
Step 4 : The Private Coaching Scam
Oh, you thought we were done ? Think again. Enter the private coaching industry, the seedy underbelly of this already corrupt system. These private trainers charge $75–$200 an hour to “develop” your kid and make him do stepovers and sprints that won't bring jack shit to his game. And guess what ? The same coaches running these sessions are the ones coaching club and high school teams.
So now, not only do you have to pay for club and academy fees, but if you want to even have a chance at being noticed, you better cough up even more cash for private sessions. It’s like a fucked-up tax system where your kid’s dreams are the currency.
And the worst part ? These private coaches are the gatekeepers. They’ll “recommend” their private clients to the club and high school coaches, creating this insane feedback loop of nepotism and cash flow.
Step 5 : The Social Media Shitshow
Let’s not forget the Instagram flexing. These club kids and academy kids treat their profiles like LinkedIn for soccer. “Grateful to announce I’ve been selected for ECNL South Bay Division#TheGrind #Blessed #NoDaysOff” Bro, shut the fuck up. Nobody gives a shit. You're gonna end up as a cashier in Foot Locker no matter how deep you suck the coaches' dicks.
It’s all a façade to make their parents feel like the money’s worth it. But behind the scenes, it’s all politics and pay-to-play. These kids aren’t getting scouted—they’re just boosting the egos of their coaches and directors.
The Final Scam : The Pipeline™
Here’s how the pipeline works:
1. Clubs and academies take your money.
2. They funnel their players into high school teams through backdoor politics.
3. High schools pump these players back into the club system to maintain the cycle.
4. A tiny percentage make it to college or pro, and the clubs use those kids as marketing to suck in the next generation of victims.
The rest ? Burned out, broke, and disillusioned.
CONCLUSION
This entire system is a corrupt, pay-to-play racket designed to milk parents dry while giving a giant middle finger to actual talent, passion and hardwork. Soccer in SoCal isn’t about passion, skill, or hard work—it’s about money, connections, politics, and how much dick you can shove up your mouth. And until this shit changes, the beautiful game will never grow in this country.
Fuck the clubs. Fuck the academies. Fuck the coaches. And fuck the SoCal Youth Soccer Mafia™.
Sincerely,
Franko, the kid who saw through the bullshit.
I'm going to kick a ball against a wall for 2 hours now.
Yes, and many Club Soccer Org grifters populate this discussion list! BEWARE!!!!
which is what truly matters
