Sportsmanship

[Surfref]

My son aged out last year but I found the years u16-18 to be the calmest years for both parents and coaches. The boys could get intense when the adrenaline and testosterone got flowing but overall the spectator intensity declined dramatically. The final year I remember walking around Manchester Surf Cup, the older boys were playing and sidelines were for the most part intense but quiet; then going over to the youngers and realizing how bad it used to be. There are twice as many parents crammed onto a much shorter sideline all of them losing their shit on every play and call. I do believe that the coaches being on the opposite side from parents have contributed to the some of the bad behavior. When the coach was on the same side they had to deal with it now it is on the manager. One of my favorite moments from many years ago, think it was u10 was coach pulling a kid off the field when his dad was yelling and telling the kid as he came off the field, "go find out what your Dad thinks I should be doing." He said this loudly in front of everyone, message sent and received. As well, at the olders ages most of the team managers have been at it quite a few years, know their parents and are not afraid to deal with them when the get out of line.

I have found that the team managers can be a great asset when the teams and parents are on different sidelines. I will brief the coach and manager at the same time. I tell them something along the lines of, "I would prefer you (manager) take care of the spectators so I do not have to interrupt the game to have the coach walk all the way across the field just to tell some parent to either shut up or leave. So, please do what is needed to keep them under control." The other tool I employ is a little deception. I tell the coach, "Just humor me if I come over to you and start talking about the weather of some taco shop near the field. I will point in the general direction of the parents behaving badly. If you could just either yell at them to be quiet or send the manager, I would greatly appreciate it." At Blues Cup I went up to one of the managers because he had a few parents yelling at players from the other team. Before I could say anything he said, "I heard them and sent (manager) over to shut them up." Then he starts to point in the direction of the spectators and asks me, How far away is Stone Brewery?" We talked about that for a few seconds than I restarted the game and we continued play with no comments from the sideline.

I have seen numerous players over the years, usually high school age players, tell their parents to shut up. I had to Yellow card a HS player a couple years ago because she told her dad who was sitting in the bleachers to, "Shut the F%#k up."

 

[Laced]

I have found that the team managers can be a great asset when the teams and parents are on different sidelines. I will brief the coach and manager at the same time. I tell them something along the lines of, "I would prefer you (manager) take care of the spectators so I do not have to interrupt the game to have the coach walk all the way across the field just to tell some parent to either shut up or leave. So, please do what is needed to keep them under control." The other tool I employ is a little deception. I tell the coach, "Just humor me if I come over to you and start talking about the weather of some taco shop near the field. I will point in the general direction of the parents behaving badly. If you could just either yell at them to be quiet or send the manager, I would greatly appreciate it." At Blues Cup I went up to one of the managers because he had a few parents yelling at players from the other team. Before I could say anything he said, "I heard them and sent (manager) over to shut them up." Then he starts to point in the direction of the spectators and asks me, How far away is Stone Brewery?" We talked about that for a few seconds than I restarted the game and we continued play with no comments from the sideline.

I have seen numerous players over the years, usually high school age players, tell their parents to shut up. I had to Yellow card a HS player a couple years ago because she told her dad who was sitting in the bleachers to, "Shut the F%#k up."

As a team manager, I'm not sure if it's our role to police the sidelines. Fortunately, it's not an issue I've ever had to deal with. I'd like to hear what other managers have to say. There may not be a remedy for every wrong.

 

[espola]

As a team manager, I'm not sure if it's our role to police the sidelines. Fortunately, it's not an issue I've ever had to deal with. I'd like to hear what other managers have to say. There may not be a remedy for every wrong.

Our team managers (including me when I had my turn) kept a supply of lollipops to hand out to those parents who needed something else to occupy their mouths.

 

[ALT_Dad]

Our team managers (including me when I had my turn) kept a supply of lollipops to hand out to those parents who needed something else to occupy their mouths.

I will have to use the Telly Savales technique (for you young ones, he always had a lollipop in his shows) and the standard seeds. I have been told by my daughter's first club coach that I was ultimately responsible to keep parents under control as the manager. Tough to do with passionate, outspoken parents of (wait for it)....7 year old girls! Thankfully parents of 10 year old girls on new team are much easier to work with...thanks for the idea!

 

[timbuck]

Sad moment last night. I was playing in a low level coed adult game. Lots of families come out to watch their parents. Only 1 ref showed up (we usually have 2 ARs also). He did a pretty good job for running a solo.
He calls a play offside (which is really hard to see where running a solo at night under the lights). A few players mumble that it was a bad call.
But then the elementary aged kids on the sideline start yelling "terrible call ref". "How is that offside". "Oh my god that's the worst call ever".

I wonder where they learned that from?

 

[zebrafish]

Sad moment last night. I was playing in a low level coed adult game. Lots of families come out to watch their parents. Only 1 ref showed up (we usually have 2 ARs also). He did a pretty good job for running a solo.
He calls a play offside (which is really hard to see where running a solo at night under the lights). A few players mumble that it was a bad call.
But then the elementary aged kids on the sideline start yelling "terrible call ref". "How is that offside". "Oh my god that's the worst call ever".

I wonder where they learned that from?

Were kids screaming at their parents "take down the fat guy!" and "we need to win this game!" and "don't do that again!" ???

 

[soccerchaffeur]

Our daughter played in an 06 match this weekend in Murrieta. Loud mouthed parent was all over the ref(he was doing the game alone). Ref finally blows his whistle and warns the guy. The class act responds with 'why don't you go blow something else!' The 'gentleman' was shown a red card. Great stuff you can't wait for your 10 year old daughter to hear.

 

[SoccerLife12]

Today at my nephew's game (2001 age) a boy on the other team was being overly aggressive. He kept tackling hard and late and fouling whenever possible. When my nephew's coach said, "Hey ref, this is the 4th or 5th time this player has done this", the kid turned to the coach and said, "nope its the 6th." Then he took out the best player on my nephew's team and the boy flew through the air and then rolled a bunch of times due to a late tackle. He received a yellow card which was definitely deserved as it was a dangerous play. A little later, my nephew went in for a tackle and fouled that same boy and tripped him (not intentional just part of the play and ref called a foul). But same boy then elbowed my nephew in the head (completely intentional, that foul not called). At the end of the game after the teams line up to say good game then walk to the opposing side and clap to the parents, this boy flipped us all off. Wow! I hope the parents of this fine specimen are so proud!

 

[genesis]

Disappointed doesn't even begin to adequately express what I am thinking right now. Before I get the 'you must be new to this' or 'this is just the way club soccer is' I will say, yes I'm relatively new to this world. We've only been involved in this crazy world for 3 years but I am so put off by the poor sportsmanship I see at all age levels. Having a younger and slightly older kid I'm really disheartened by 8 yr olds trash talking their own goalies (just saw this at a tournament Labor day weekend), coaches screaming like luantics at the kids along with the parents and wondering why the 8 year old is confused? Then fast fwd to u13s, a players mom telling the rest of the parents, 'that she's done, could care less about the rest of the season, her daughters already moved on' to girls on the field snickering when someone falls down, to a coach yelling at a player to 'take that #blank down'. Wth is going on seriously? This is crazy. Everytime my kiddos play I say go out there and play hard and have fun. They can win a game and if they play like little sh*ts I will call them on it. I can't condone this crap behavior. I couldn't put my finger on what was bugging me today, then I realized it's just a cumulation of little hostile things from parents, coaches, kids etc and we are what in the 2nd week of fall league? Sigh.

Welcome to Trump Land.

 

[smellycleats]

Welcome to Trump Land.

Hang on now...we all "pay to play". I say, welcome to Hillary Land!

 

[genesis]

Hang on now...we all "pay to play". I say, welcome to Hillary Land!

Uhhhh, if you examine the dark lord's taxes apparently he does not pay to play. On a happier note Charles Manson has volunteered to coach my kids plus he will do it for free.

 

[coachrefparent]

Today at my nephew's game (2001 age) a boy on the other team was being overly aggressive. He kept tackling hard and late and fouling whenever possible. When my nephew's coach said, "Hey ref, this is the 4th or 5th time this player has done this", the kid turned to the coach and said, "nope its the 6th." Then he took out the best player on my nephew's team and the boy flew through the air and then rolled a bunch of times due to a late tackle. He received a yellow card which was definitely deserved as it was a dangerous play. A little later, my nephew went in for a tackle and fouled that same boy and tripped him (not intentional just part of the play and ref called a foul). But same boy then elbowed my nephew in the head (completely intentional, that foul not called). At the end of the game after the teams line up to say good game then walk to the opposing side and clap to the parents, this boy flipped us all off. Wow! I hope the parents of this fine specimen are so proud!

I guarantee they are very proud. Where do you think the kid learned to be trash?