Reality Check

[timbuck]

This tends to happen on sports related forums.
People at the sharp end of the spear are the most vocal on message boards like this.
I used to be pretty active in running, cycling, swimming. I've done a ton of different distance races (5k running all the way up to full ironman distance triathlon. I was never "fast", but had respectable results for a guy without much genetic help. Definitely not built for distance). If you go on to a triathlon forum, you'd think that unless you are near a 9 hour finish for an ironman, then you are a loser and should just stay on the couch. Or unless you have qualified for the Boston Marathon, you might as well just be a mall walker.
The reality is that 80-90% of people in these events are much, much slower.

Which brings me back to my SoCal Soccer reality check.
There is so much discussion on here about Flight 1, ECNL, DA, D1, ODP, National Team, etc. That it feels like unless your kid is in one of these categories, then you might as well hang up their cleats and teach them how to weave baskets.
I think it's great that there are so many talented and hard working players around So Cal. And that there are so many teams for these players to play on.
But there are a lot of us out here who just love to see our kids being active and playing something they seem to love. No matter what flight they are in, where their team is ranked or how many tournaments they win (or even play in).
We tend to forget that there are lots of kids in all of the age groups that get better every year, but will never be invited to a US National Team Camp or ODP player pool. They may never play Flight 1 (even after DA and ECNL pick the top players and Flight 1 is really more like Flight 2 or 3). And there might be kids that are "good enough" but for a variety of reasons, they chose to do something less hard core. (Friends, other sports, school, other friends, coach they love, family time, etc)
Another thread is talking about players/parents, teams, coaches already starting to scramble to get their kid positioned for a spot on a DA team/club for next year. WE ARE 1 WEEK INTO THE FALL SEASON. Relax. Your kids just went through the anxiety of "Age Group" changes. And you went through the anxiety of whether they would be on the "A" team or not.
For kids that want to play on DA or ECNL teams and that have the talent/drive to do s0 - They'll find their way onto a team. The best players are obvious to most people watching. And if your kid is at the end of the roster on one of these teams, they're probably better off not being on that team.

For the record - My kids are average players. I currently coach them in the AYSO Extra program. They are currently happy with the level of play and their teammates. We're good here until a change is needed. I also play once or twice a week. And I referee on occasion.

 

[ESPNANALYST]

Works for AYSO but it doesn't work for Club.
I think you are an intelligent poster and I enjoy your views. That being said there is a big difference between the caliber and the expectations that the coaches and Clubs have of our daughters vs AYSO extra.
Sorry but you are truly missing the mark in this one.
You can all "let them play". I prefer to be proactive about where I plunk down 4-7k after all is said and done next year and what coach and family I spend 40+ hrs a week with.

 

[ESPNANALYST]

Ps
The same coaches in Club that say "let them play" and"relax" are allowing mid season transfers, recruiting other girls, enertaining parent calls and emails about a new season. Until there is transparency which is unlikely parents should be allowed to do as much of it as they can.
There is a HUGE double standard.

 

[timbuck]

Works for AYSO but it doesn't work for Club.
I think you are an intelligent poster and I enjoy your views. That being said there is a big difference between the caliber and the expectations that the coaches and Clubs have of our daughters vs AYSO extra.
Sorry but you are truly missing the mark in this one.
You can all "let them play". I prefer to be proactive about where I plunk down 4-7k after all is said and done next year and what coach and family I spend 40+ hrs a week with.

I think we are sort of agreeing here.
It sounds like your kid might be at the top level. Be smart with how you evaluate her team and her options. Sounds like you are.
But for kids at the Flight 3 or Extra level (maybe even the Flight 2 or low level Flight 1), realize that always chasing the next best thing and "Working the politics" in September might not be needed.
My post was more for the "rest of us." Those of us who have kids that aren't going to be at that top level. And for us to relax and not scramble to get your kid to a new club again next year just because she might make their ECNL or DA team in a few years.
Someone mentioned in an earlier post about the lack of loyalty across the board. Probably nothing we can do to change that. Coaches leaves clubs. Clubs get rid of coaches. Parents look for new/better opportunities. It's too bad really.

 

[Striker17]

Great post!
The way I also read it frankly is that the majority of "club players" are probably AYSO. It's just a gaming circuit in my opinion. Club should really be for the very serious players but has devolved into a money making 3-4 team enterprise. This unfortunately gives parents some unrealistic expectations I believe.
My daughter is on the bubble. I rely on her to be with a good coach and like that there are still lots of players who are better than her that challenge her in so many ways.
We are not at the type of club where relax is an option. I wouldn't have it any other way though as it fits who she is!

 

[socalkdg]

Works for AYSO but it doesn't work for Club.
I think you are an intelligent poster and I enjoy your views. That being said there is a big difference between the caliber and the expectations that the coaches and Clubs have of our daughters vs AYSO extra.
Sorry but you are truly missing the mark in this one.
You can all "let them play". I prefer to be proactive about where I plunk down 4-7k after all is said and done next year and what coach and family I spend 40+ hrs a week with.

Many AYSO Extra teams are as good as some Tier 2/Silver level teams, and better than many Tier 3/Bronze teams, so don't just discount what he was saying because he coaches AYSO Extra. Ayso Core would be a different story, but I'm glad that thousands of boys and girls have a chance to to play in this league. I know many high caliber players in the Extra program that chose that over club for various reasons, and many Extra teams are ran by great coaches. Eventually the best of Extra do go to Club, and club teams are fortunate to have Extra feed them girls.


I'm amazed that you spend 40+ hours a week with your club team. My daughter plays both club and AYSO, has 2-3 games a week, plus likes to kick the ball around on her off time, but doesn't spend more than 15 hours per week. I've read a lot on these forums and never once seen anyone mention that many hours. Does anyone know what programs run this type of schedule?

 

[Striker17]

With where we are 30 plus is accurate if you consider three days a week 2.5 hrs,optional futsal, optional speed etc which everyone does, travel time to Norco etc. During summer we obviously spent AT LEAST forty hours a week with our soccer family due to long tournament days. Soccer really is a full time year long activity depending on the team you decide to be on.
I don't know how that translates to success of any team or athlete though.

 

[jrcaesar]

Son moved to new club: 2 hrs practice, 1 hr training, 2 hrs practice, 90 min skills, 90 min games x 2, warmups ... that's 11 hours ... add maybe a couple more for commuting time. So 13 hours a week. Who are these kids doing 30-40 hours each week?

 

[mirage]

timmy, you need to consider the sampling on the forum.

Vast majority of soccer player parents DO NOT know this forum exist, much less post here.

So you are seeing distorted population of high tier kids parents posting (boasting) what's going on with their kid.

Something must have got under your skin or it was really slow day at the office for you.... Its all for fun and while its VERY serious for some, most of us have not lost our perspective.

Happy Friday!

 

[Socal United]

Ps
The same coaches in Club that say "let them play" and"relax" are allowing mid season transfers, recruiting other girls, enertaining parent calls and emails about a new season. Until there is transparency which is unlikely parents should be allowed to do as much of it as they can.
There is a HUGE double standard.

I think you are generalizing quite a bit. I think there are a lot of coaches, myself included, that use those two phrases quite a bit. How about looking at it from our side, how annoying it is that it is mid September and we are getting cornered about next year, the team, the coaches, etc. Still a long way away, how much transparency should we have in that regard? While I do agree with you, it goes both ways.

 

[timbuck]

timmy, you need to consider the sampling on the forum.

Vast majority of soccer player parents DO NOT know this forum exist, much less post here.

So you are seeing distorted population of high tier kids parents posting (boasting) what's going on with their kid.

Something must have got under your skin or it was really slow day at the office for you.... Its all for fun and while its VERY serious for some, most of us have not lost our perspective.

Happy Friday!

Little slow at the office today.
But- but like the triathlon forum where it seems that a 6:30 mile and. :55 second 100 yard swim is the "norm", your point is my point. To the lurkers out there that read about the "game of the week" and worry about your kid/their team, shake it off. Live with the rest of us mortals. (The guys that run an 8:30-12:00 mile and can't swim their way out of a paperbag, but still find a way to swim over 2 miles and finish a marathon with a nice little 112 mile bike ride in between).

 

[soloyosh]

Son moved to new club: 2 hrs practice, 1 hr training, 2 hrs practice, 90 min skills, 90 min games x 2, warmups ... that's 11 hours ... add maybe a couple more for commuting time. So 13 hours a week. Who are these kids doing 30-40 hours each week?

What age?

 

[socalkdg]

With where we are 30 plus is accurate if you consider three days a week 2.5 hrs,optional futsal, optional speed etc which everyone does, travel time to Norco etc. During summer we obviously spent AT LEAST forty hours a week with our soccer family due to long tournament days. Soccer really is a full time year long activity depending on the team you decide to be on.
I don't know how that translates to success of any team or athlete though.

Didn't consider commute time, if I did I'm working 55+ hours a week. LOL Even figure 7 days a week 3 hours a day we have only 21 hours a week. I just saw the 40 and was wondering who was practicing that many hours. I see now that the kids aren't practicing that much.

 

[SoccerFan4Life]

There was a time when I thought my kid to have a chance at getting a scholarship. Then I learned about the fact that our kids compete with international students for the few soccer scholarships available. I'm enjoying club soccer so much more as now I realize that I'm doing it to keep my kids in shape and to stay away from not doing much at home. As a parent you need to ask yourself is your kid in the top 1% of players in Southern California. If not, then just relax and enjoy your kids play soccer as they will be going to college soon and be a student with a very small chance at getting a scholarship.

 

[timbuck]

Agree with the above. I want my athletic kid to be an athletic young adult and to enjoy playing sports when she's my age.
Intramural sports in college were a blast!!!

 

[Striker17]

For the record just because you want to compete at a high level doesn't mean that you believe scholarship money is available. There are many more benefits to high level competition than scholarships.
Academics first. We just also happen to love soccer and the life lessons, character lessons and friendships that have resulted.
I never understood the scholarship people. Maybe it's because I have seen so much change from 12-18 so that's banking on a miracle

 

[Not_that_Serious]

lol@40hours. some folks are dramatic. even academy kids in Europe start at 3x a week, 1 game a weekend 6-8hrs a week of playing and ramp up. Some German clubs our kids played against where 4x a week + 1-2 games (short sided) at about 12-15 hours MAX. My kid maxes around 10 even going to keeper practice and private training. some folks are loco

 

[younothat]

The reality is your player makes their own destiny.

No amount of penciling in your player for this or that will change anything, they have to find their own way.

Nothing beats hard work; the call ups list for the YNT camp came out and the director announced one of the players from my sons team was called up. That player wasn't even playing in the top flight last year. but continued to train well, dedicated himself to improving, and his passion and skill are paying off.

Youth soccer has so many catch terms (Elite, Academy, Pre-this or that) marketing fluff, or parents thinking they need private trainers to give the appearance that things are different but it all comes down to what a player does in the dirt, grass, or turf. They will find their level and that changes over time.

Let the kids become who they will; pushing, joysticking, or trying to position them really doesn't help them in the long run.

 

[MakeAPlay]

The reality is your player makes their own destiny.

No amount of penciling in your player for this or that will change anything, they have to find their own way.

Nothing beats hard work; the call ups list for the YNT camp came out and the director announced one of the players from my sons team was called up. That player wasn't even playing in the top flight last year. but continued to train well, dedicated himself to improving, and his passion and skill are paying off.

Youth soccer has so many catch terms (Elite, Academy, Pre-this or that) marketing fluff, or parents thinking they need private trainers to give the appearance that things are different but it all comes down to what a player does in the dirt, grass, or turf. They will find their level and that changes over time.

Let the kids become who they will; pushing, joysticking, or trying to position them really doesn't help them in the long run.

I agree with most of this. At the end of the day the player makes their own destiny (just like with life), however, a little parental interference/assistance with coming up with a gameplan goes a long way. I always asked my player every year before I wrote a check did she still want to play (even after she was committed and even on signing day in February). That was authorization from her to help steer her in the right direction (we are talking about teenage girls!!). She had to make the decisions and make the calls and send the emails with parental input) but it was all her. Now that she is in college she feels like she is where she wants to be and is enjoying her experience because it came from her, however, she still is grateful that she didn't have to figure it out alone.

One of my daughter's former teammates who was an ODP player and was recruited by and offered D1 college scholarships is playing at a JC now, not because of her talent but because her parents didn't help her through the process and she didn't quite get the support that she needed. There are extremes either way (think Marv Marinovich) but parental support is a key part of most successful athlete's story.

 

[bigkick]

Didn't consider commute time, if I did I'm working 55+ hours a week. LOL Even figure 7 days a week 3 hours a day we have only 21 hours a week. I just saw the 40 and was wondering who was practicing that many hours. I see now that the kids aren't practicing that much.

He's including the 30 hours lurking on this forum as "soccer related activities" to get the 40 hours a week.