Questions and stories

I’m so old I remember when people were worried that if they had a goalkeeper forum they’d have to have an “attacking mids who like to cut in on their left” forum, etc. But I think I’ve never posted here. Not that I remember. Maybe I want to go out with a set of questions for keeper parents. Tell some stories and hear some stories.

Question: What has your kid ever said to you about why they like being a keeper?

The story is I thought we were done. The last iron in the fire with respect to college recruitment for my son had not worked out. We knew it would be hard to find an academic/athletic fit. Then he’d gotten an academic scholarship to a school that did not seem interested in him as a keeper. Not bragging about that, he was only somewhat pleased and, eventually, seemed resigned. He played his last tourney, the team dis-banded and I thought that’s that.

I should have known better. And so it was last week I found myself at Veteran’s Park in Pomona watching yet another tryout. A good team-fast on the ball. I hadn’t been there in years, except for a game or two, since they built the warehouses, office spaces or whatever it is right next to it. But it got me in a reminiscing frame of mind since that is where it started for him going on a decade ago. His first U9 club team after AYSO (“academy”, right?) practiced out in Veteran’s Park. There was another family from Riverside on the team and we took turns hauling the boys back and forth. Dinner in the car on the way down. Homework in the car on the way back. I’m sure many of you know the drill.

He was at the tryout because he’d gone to do one last “thanks for the memories” session with his long-time keeper trainer. Who was like “what?” and “where are you going to school again” and “let me make some phone calls”. Spouse texts me and I’m thinking “Oh-Coach should have that-why networking now?”. And a voice inside my head goes, “Well, Mr. Smartypants, maybe you should have figured out earlier that’s how it probably works. Targeted networking, not product placement”. One afternoon of Googling coaching combinations with two degrees of separation…but anyway.

All the teams had cleared out except for the olders who were scrimmaging in the middle of the fields. But I can tell my kid is trying to show off his favorite skill which is wait until the striker commits to a line and then explode, get the ball right at their feet with momentum, and send the striker ass over teakettle. Of course, if you screw up the timing, you get rounded, scored on, and look like an idiot for coming off your line. But he pulls it off at least once that I can see.

There was another Dad there, whom I took also had a kid doing a tryout. And a Mom with a maybe 10 year old icing an ankle, waiting for a ride. Sun goes down and a breeze comes up, and the Dad goes and gets a jacket. I say, “You’re smart, I forgot it gets cold here after the sun goes down”. He say’s “Just lucky, never been here before. Is your son trying out?” And I said, “Yes, he’s the keeper in the red shirt”. The Mom with the ankle kid goes, “Has your son ever said why they want to be a keeper?” It occurs to me nobody has ever asked me before. I say to the boy “What happened to your ankle?” Mom says, “It got stepped on while he was trying to get a ball.” And I think back and say, “My son told me once it feels good when you shut a striker down”. And the kid with the ankle goes “Yeah, that’s right”. But I know it must be more than that. Knowing my son, I’m guessing the seconds between the set up for the shot, your reaction, and what happens, must be Super Real. And once you have the training, you can fly, just for a second, and impose your will on Outcomes. That’s what I suspect anyway.

The team is trying out a keeper, so they finish with a PK shootout. My kid saves two. The first was the best save, with him stretching and pushing the ball off the post. The second, not the best taken PK. He dives and catches it. Thunk. Guy with the jacket goes “Guess you’ll be coming out to Veteran’s Park again”. I’m thinking “Surely he’ll be an experienced enough driver soon enough to do that drive on his own”.

He comes off looking like the cat that ate the bird. But happy. Like I haven’t seen him that happy in awhile. He goes “Dad, did you see my PK saves?” I point to the kid with the ice and say “Yes, I did. This keeper here, he says it feels good to shut a striker down”. My kid laughs, does the bump and double hand slap thing and says, “If you come out hard early, you’re in their head the whole game”.

So, I guess that’s the plan. He gets even more fit, bumps it up to the next level, and does a walk on tryout. With a team that historically like 6’3+” keepers who hold their line. He’s not that tall and that’s not his style. But it has all moved past me and it occurs to me I never really understood it anyway.
 
I’m so old I remember when people were worried that if they had a goalkeeper forum they’d have to have an “attacking mids who like to cut in on their left” forum, etc. But I think I’ve never posted here. Not that I remember. Maybe I want to go out with a set of questions for keeper parents. Tell some stories and hear some stories.

Question: What has your kid ever said to you about why they like being a keeper?

The story is I thought we were done. The last iron in the fire with respect to college recruitment for my son had not worked out. We knew it would be hard to find an academic/athletic fit. Then he’d gotten an academic scholarship to a school that did not seem interested in him as a keeper. Not bragging about that, he was only somewhat pleased and, eventually, seemed resigned. He played his last tourney, the team dis-banded and I thought that’s that.

I should have known better. And so it was last week I found myself at Veteran’s Park in Pomona watching yet another tryout. A good team-fast on the ball. I hadn’t been there in years, except for a game or two, since they built the warehouses, office spaces or whatever it is right next to it. But it got me in a reminiscing frame of mind since that is where it started for him going on a decade ago. His first U9 club team after AYSO (“academy”, right?) practiced out in Veteran’s Park. There was another family from Riverside on the team and we took turns hauling the boys back and forth. Dinner in the car on the way down. Homework in the car on the way back. I’m sure many of you know the drill.

He was at the tryout because he’d gone to do one last “thanks for the memories” session with his long-time keeper trainer. Who was like “what?” and “where are you going to school again” and “let me make some phone calls”. Spouse texts me and I’m thinking “Oh-Coach should have that-why networking now?”. And a voice inside my head goes, “Well, Mr. Smartypants, maybe you should have figured out earlier that’s how it probably works. Targeted networking, not product placement”. One afternoon of Googling coaching combinations with two degrees of separation…but anyway.

All the teams had cleared out except for the olders who were scrimmaging in the middle of the fields. But I can tell my kid is trying to show off his favorite skill which is wait until the striker commits to a line and then explode, get the ball right at their feet with momentum, and send the striker ass over teakettle. Of course, if you screw up the timing, you get rounded, scored on, and look like an idiot for coming off your line. But he pulls it off at least once that I can see.

There was another Dad there, whom I took also had a kid doing a tryout. And a Mom with a maybe 10 year old icing an ankle, waiting for a ride. Sun goes down and a breeze comes up, and the Dad goes and gets a jacket. I say, “You’re smart, I forgot it gets cold here after the sun goes down”. He say’s “Just lucky, never been here before. Is your son trying out?” And I said, “Yes, he’s the keeper in the red shirt”. The Mom with the ankle kid goes, “Has your son ever said why they want to be a keeper?” It occurs to me nobody has ever asked me before. I say to the boy “What happened to your ankle?” Mom says, “It got stepped on while he was trying to get a ball.” And I think back and say, “My son told me once it feels good when you shut a striker down”. And the kid with the ankle goes “Yeah, that’s right”. But I know it must be more than that. Knowing my son, I’m guessing the seconds between the set up for the shot, your reaction, and what happens, must be Super Real. And once you have the training, you can fly, just for a second, and impose your will on Outcomes. That’s what I suspect anyway.

The team is trying out a keeper, so they finish with a PK shootout. My kid saves two. The first was the best save, with him stretching and pushing the ball off the post. The second, not the best taken PK. He dives and catches it. Thunk. Guy with the jacket goes “Guess you’ll be coming out to Veteran’s Park again”. I’m thinking “Surely he’ll be an experienced enough driver soon enough to do that drive on his own”.

He comes off looking like the cat that ate the bird. But happy. Like I haven’t seen him that happy in awhile. He goes “Dad, did you see my PK saves?” I point to the kid with the ice and say “Yes, I did. This keeper here, he says it feels good to shut a striker down”. My kid laughs, does the bump and double hand slap thing and says, “If you come out hard early, you’re in their head the whole game”.

So, I guess that’s the plan. He gets even more fit, bumps it up to the next level, and does a walk on tryout. With a team that historically like 6’3+” keepers who hold their line. He’s not that tall and that’s not his style. But it has all moved past me and it occurs to me I never really understood it anyway.
My goalkeeping advice to my son was -- choose the line or the ball. If you give up the line, you better get the ball.

He preferred to play up front and was good at it, but coaches were always asking him to fill in in a pinch. "We know you have some experience in goal -- do you need some gloves?" "Got a pair in my bag, coach"
 
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My goalkeeping advice to my son was -- choose the line or the ball. If you give up the line, you better get the ball.

He preferred to play up front and was good t it, but coaches were always asking him to fill in in a pinch. "We know you have some experience in goal -- do you need some gloves?" "Got a pair in my bag, coach"

Did you play keeper, E? Swimming was my sport way back when, so I knew nothing about it really going in. My kid also started out mostly playing up front, in AYSO. After he had scored some he'd get put in goal. Which it turned out he liked. In the U-littles if they had two keepers he'd get subbed in up front sometimes. And on his high school team he'd go up to take the PKs, which was one of his favorite things. Incentive not to miss.
 
I'm not sure I could get an answer to that fundamental question because I am not sure she knows how to answer it. I will ask her and pass along her response (if I feel that it's legit. She's a 20yo who may just give me some answer b/c she senses it will get dad off her back).

I did write this to @Keepermom2 some 2 1/2 years ago: "My daughter played 1/2 in goal and 1/2 at Forward through U12 and was her team's top scorer despite playing half the time. And yet she could tell she could be an upper-level difference maker at GK, not at F". This was about 2 weeks after she signed her NLI and we thought about 8+ months from starting her college career (turned out that COVID had other ideas so that start got pushed to spring of '21 and her club career had ended w/o a spring '20 season).

She knew first. Then I knew. Then her mom (my wife) knew. We had no idea how tall she was going to be and whether "upper-level" meant some college, power 5 college, some pro, national level, etc. But she knew - or felt - that her upside in the game she loved was as a keeper. The game and the role as GK will be part of - and a force in - her life probably forever no matter when or what the circumstances are when she stops playing.
 
Did you play keeper, E? Swimming was my sport way back when, so I knew nothing about it really going in. My kid also started out mostly playing up front, in AYSO. After he had scored some he'd get put in goal. Which it turned out he liked. In the U-littles if they had two keepers he'd get subbed in up front sometimes. And on his high school team he'd go up to take the PKs, which was one of his favorite things. Incentive not to miss.

When I was younger, I played right (sometimes left) wing (back when that was an actual position). I learned one play -- run the ball up the right side and then cross it high across the box. When I got older and heavier and played in Sunday morning pickup games, I played left back because it seemed that no one else wanted to play there.
 
If I could get mine to quit I would be so happy......

Well, if and once it gets in their blood, it may be hard to bleed it out. And of course there is lots of positive stuff too. There was a point somewhere in early/mid teens where it went from defenders yelling at the keeper after a goal to the keeper getting on the defenders after a goal. And then working on the communication/leadership stuff. For a booky kid that was a real positive I think.
 
I'm not sure I could get an answer to that fundamental question because I am not sure she knows how to answer it. I will ask her and pass along her response (if I feel that it's legit. She's a 20yo who may just give me some answer b/c she senses it will get dad off her back).

I did write this to @Keepermom2 some 2 1/2 years ago: "My daughter played 1/2 in goal and 1/2 at Forward through U12 and was her team's top scorer despite playing half the time. And yet she could tell she could be an upper-level difference maker at GK, not at F". This was about 2 weeks after she signed her NLI and we thought about 8+ months from starting her college career (turned out that COVID had other ideas so that start got pushed to spring of '21 and her club career had ended w/o a spring '20 season).

She knew first. Then I knew. Then her mom (my wife) knew. We had no idea how tall she was going to be and whether "upper-level" meant some college, power 5 college, some pro, national level, etc. But she knew - or felt - that her upside in the game she loved was as a keeper. The game and the role as GK will be part of - and a force in - her life probably forever no matter when or what the circumstances are when she stops playing.

Yeah if she has an insight she wants to share that would be interesting. I do think the root of whatever it is goes down pretty far and may take a bit more living for a young adult before it becomes recognizable. But again, I just don't know. That's fantastic about your daughter. She should have some extended eligibility, right?
 
Yeah if she has an insight she wants to share that would be interesting. I do think the root of whatever it is goes down pretty far and may take a bit more living for a young adult before it becomes recognizable. But again, I just don't know. That's fantastic about your daughter. She should have some extended eligibility, right?

She start her Jr year this fall and can play through the fall of 2024 (which would a 5th year) if she wants. I think there will be a lot of factors that will influence whether she plays 4 or 5 years.
 
My daughter started out similarly to dk_b's - half in goal, half at forward. She eventually ended up a full-time field player - although she remains the "emergency" keeper in a pinch. The first time I remember seeing her in goal and thinking "she loves this" she was a 6-year-old playing with older kids at an after-school program. It was obvious making saves and diving on the ground gave her a rush, and she had the primary qualification of a goalie - at least a little bit crazy. Goalie was her primary position for several years although when we started club soccer we made sure she played the field as well.
 
Mine started playing in AYSO when they first started introducing keepers into the games. It was a rule that every player had to play the position once during the season, and you couldn’t have the same girl play an entire game. So, the coach would ask for volunteers, and when nobody would raise their hand, my daughter (who hates the silence…. and also likes being on coach’s good side) would volunteer every game for the first half. She got hooked after that. If you ask her why she likes it, she’ll say that she loves the pressure of having to be the player that saves the game, and she knows she’s good (a beast, as she refers to herself) at the position. She’s so vocal on the field, so the position is a good fit for her because she has the best vantage point. It’s a good match for her personality.
 
Tryouts for AYSO Extra program. 9 years old. New to soccer (played about 3 months). She was probably the best athlete there, but her touches weren’t as good as some of the kids. She still scored a couple times in scrimmage.

They then had a keeper segment at the end which about 10 girls tried out for. She was much better than any of them. Probably because she had been playing baseball and basketball 5 months before so had good hands.

She was chosen as an extra player on the extra team so at first she couldn’t play as it was at max roster. The good news was she got to do footskill drills once a week with a trainer as well as once a week group keeper drills.

I ended up coaching a AYSO team so she could get some playing time besides practice and she was still the fastest player out there as with her improved foot skills scored 2-3 goals a game.

The following year she was full time Extra and played 50/50 field and in goal. After a year at this, she decided to go full time keeper at age 12. she loves using her hands as well as her feet thus keeper is perfect.
 
My daughter said she likes playing keeper because she loves diving at the feet and having players fly or fall over her and the feeling of making a great save. Your basic nut job.

I suppose that's pretty much it. Basic nut job. Like the line from Princess Bride. "Let me explain. No there is too much. Let me sum up."

There was this high school game my son's junior year. An away game. He's playing against a talented team mate from his club team. Who gets off a bending upper corner shot. But its far enough out that my kid has time to read it and make an emphatic save. He gets up with the ball, shakes his head, bounces the ball a couple times, and does the Dikembe Mutombo finger wag. Home stands erupt in anger (and are probably confused when they hug at the end of the game). I'm like "seriously?"
 
Mine started playing keeper when she was in u8 AYSO. Coach rotated players in goal for the first 3 quarters and then would ask for volunteers for the 4th. She was always volunteered. Same the next season. Eventually her AYSO coaches stopped trying to rotate and just kept her there because she was the only one who enjoyed it. She never explained why at that time, but she and I talked about it a lot later in her career. There are lots of things she loves about it (and not having to run 8 miles in 90 minutes is probably up there) she told me she loves the pressure that comes with being the last line of defense. She loves wiping out the attacking player in one v ones, the spectacular diving save, the occasional but unmatched glory of stopping a PK, but she always comes back to the pressure and how she loves those moments in the game where everyone needs her to do her job perfectly in order to stay in the game. Over the years, she's also fallen in love with the work that goes into those moments of glory. When she's healthy, there's nothing she loves more than to go get a really tough, really intense GK training session in. We've had to hold her back from training when sick or injured, and she hates it. When she came home for spring break this year and she was recovering from an nasty bug, my wife shipped her cleats and running shoes back to her dorm to stop her from sneaking out to train while she was still not 100%.

I love that the position has given her a foundation of mental toughness which will carry her through the ups and downs of life. She knows how to adapt, how to rebound from mistakes, and how to find joy in doing the hard work it takes to be successful at something.
 
Mine started playing keeper when she was in u8 AYSO. Coach rotated players in goal for the first 3 quarters and then would ask for volunteers for the 4th. She was always volunteered. Same the next season. Eventually her AYSO coaches stopped trying to rotate and just kept her there because she was the only one who enjoyed it. She never explained why at that time, but she and I talked about it a lot later in her career. There are lots of things she loves about it (and not having to run 8 miles in 90 minutes is probably up there) she told me she loves the pressure that comes with being the last line of defense. She loves wiping out the attacking player in one v ones, the spectacular diving save, the occasional but unmatched glory of stopping a PK, but she always comes back to the pressure and how she loves those moments in the game where everyone needs her to do her job perfectly in order to stay in the game. Over the years, she's also fallen in love with the work that goes into those moments of glory. When she's healthy, there's nothing she loves more than to go get a really tough, really intense GK training session in. We've had to hold her back from training when sick or injured, and she hates it. When she came home for spring break this year and she was recovering from an nasty bug, my wife shipped her cleats and running shoes back to her dorm to stop her from sneaking out to train while she was still not 100%.

I love that the position has given her a foundation of mental toughness which will carry her through the ups and downs of life. She knows how to adapt, how to rebound from mistakes, and how to find joy in doing the hard work it takes to be successful at something.
I read my daughter your response and she agreed with everything. That could have been word for word my daughter's response. I suspect most feel the same or they wouldn't be in the position. There are certain training sessions that my daughter appears to be on speed at the end of it and it takes her a bit to come down.
 
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