What do you do if your son is playing on a team in a position he hates? Is talking to the coach going to be useless? What options are there? Leaving the following year? How do you know it won’t happen on the new team? Is this something to discuss with the new coaches at tryouts or during practices you can join? Or is discussing playing positions absolutely forbidden in any team with any coach?
Playing Positions
- Thread starter lulu9155
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Each situation is different, so you really need to feel it out for yourself. Some parents and crazy and try to micro-manage their kids' careers and jump from club to club trying to find a coach who will comply. Other parents have a point, and their 7 year old kid shouldn't be pigeonholed into specializing at keeper, when he wants to run around like the rest of the kids. Definitely bring it up with the coach, and see what they say. If you provide more details that could help the folks here guide you, but just don't give too many details!
Your ultimate option is to put your kid on an AYSO and volunteer to coach.
In part it depends on your bargaining power. If your kid is playing a level underneath him you have a lot of power. If you kid is one of the benchers, they’ll take the position you should be grateful for what you get.
When they are younger (elementary school) it is perfectly acceptable for the parent to have a discussion with the coach. Just know however there are a lot of petty people out there and some don’t appreciate the interference with their grand vision. From experience, they will turn on your kid so it’s important to get a good read on the coach’s personality. At high school, it’s considered very bad form for a parent to have such discussions with the coach…the kid really needs to take the lead.
There are a couple high level positions on the field: striker, cam, cb. If your kid is trying to break into these roles and isn’t the strongest on the team, your talking to the coach isn’t going to change that. You probably need to switch to a lower performing or lower flight team in that case.
Ok let me provide more details. My son is 9 has been playing for the same club on the first team. This is his third year. He is very tall for his age, athletic, aggressive, and can play any position. Up until this year he was playing all around except goalie since we had one. And he played each one well (as we were told by the coaches). We almost left this year because we thought the coach was staying the same as last year, and we weren’t crazy about the coach and wanted someone new. We took my son to practice with other clubs end of last season since we thought he would be leaving. Every single club I took him to the coach called me for weeks after trying to get him to go there. But the coach on our current club changed to a very good coach as we were told. So we stayed with the same club. And he seems like a great coach as we can see from the practices.
He told us that the kids would be playing different positions, and not stuck in one to learn them all. This sounded great in theory, especially at 9. But for the last few months since we started (and we have had a ton of scrimmages and now spring league has started) my son has only been playing defense. Which he doesn’t mind if it’s not the entire game. But it has been the entire game every game. And he plays the entire game. He is a great defender, isn’t afraid, aggressive, but now it’s come to the point where he is not liking the game anymore. He is tired of playing only defense. We tried once to talk to the coach by saying he doesn’t want to play defense the entire time and the coach basically said I have a plan and don’t tell me what position to put kids in. My son likes the coach a lot but the game playing is really taking his love of the game away.
He told us that the kids would be playing different positions, and not stuck in one to learn them all. This sounded great in theory, especially at 9. But for the last few months since we started (and we have had a ton of scrimmages and now spring league has started) my son has only been playing defense. Which he doesn’t mind if it’s not the entire game. But it has been the entire game every game. And he plays the entire game. He is a great defender, isn’t afraid, aggressive, but now it’s come to the point where he is not liking the game anymore. He is tired of playing only defense. We tried once to talk to the coach by saying he doesn’t want to play defense the entire time and the coach basically said I have a plan and don’t tell me what position to put kids in. My son likes the coach a lot but the game playing is really taking his love of the game away.
Cb? If so the striker is probably better than your son or has an arrangement to play striker with the coach, but the coach needs a strong player at cb. The gks at this age simply can’t cover the entire goal and it’s easy even in the smaller goal to give up goals by banging it over the keepers head. The cb makes the difference between stopping a breakaway for a near certain goal. Sounds like a coach who is either chasing a trophy or worried that without a strong cb the team will give up a ton of goals and have a losing record. Sounds like your kids development as is all too common is just being sacrificed for the need to win (or not lose). The strongest players are put down the spine: striker, cam, cb. If he’s a cb, it sounds like he’s unfortunately behind a couple players who are more advanced, but not expendable enough to be put on the wings (where breakaways are not as much of a problem).
I suspect that "it depends on the coach/club" is the best answer you're going to get.
I had the same type of concern; my kid is not a top-tier player by any stretch, but was getting played as cb, then keeper, because he was strong in both. I talked with the coach, and asked for my son to be given some training and opportunity to play mid, at least part time. The coach was amiable, and he split time between the positions the next season. Now days he plays mid as his "normal" position, and slides back to cb when the need arises (and is a good backup keeper also as necessary); I'm totally fine with where he is now, development and opportunity-wise.
Talk to the coach, be flexible and understanding, and try to do what's best for your kid. Worst case, you can look for another environment/club, but it's always going to depend on the circumstances.
I had the same type of concern; my kid is not a top-tier player by any stretch, but was getting played as cb, then keeper, because he was strong in both. I talked with the coach, and asked for my son to be given some training and opportunity to play mid, at least part time. The coach was amiable, and he split time between the positions the next season. Now days he plays mid as his "normal" position, and slides back to cb when the need arises (and is a good backup keeper also as necessary); I'm totally fine with where he is now, development and opportunity-wise.
Talk to the coach, be flexible and understanding, and try to do what's best for your kid. Worst case, you can look for another environment/club, but it's always going to depend on the circumstances.
Sounds like the perfect situation to put him in AYSO and be his coach. Don't worry, you'll be great at it - worst case scenario, you won't be any worse than all of the other newby coaches.
Youth futbol is a marathon... not a sprint. (Best advice anyone ever gave me). At 9, it's very early. Don't allow too many highs or lows about anything. 5-years from now you'll laugh at everything happening now. Playing many different positions is fantastic and that's what will happen by the time it's over.
Remind your son of the same thing. The kids scoring 5 goals a game, at U12, end up disappearing if a coach doesn't move them to outside back at some point. Why? Because when you switch to 11 v 11, nobody scores a lot of goals anymore. Superstars have mommy move them 4 times until the lightbulb goes off and it's too late. Let your son know it won't be like this every year and to just work on his game. By the way, you can attack and manage games from the back. Playing defense teaches you how to play under pressure. It's the best thing in the world for him right now.
.....as long as your son is showing the creativity/courage to take some risks in the back, making attacking runs at the appropriate times, and doing more than just clearing balls. At U10, if your son is that great, let him dominate AYSO and play all positions at once to find out what he likes. The best time to jump ship to club is either U11 or preferably U12 to have at least one year of club before 11v11 and the start of the elite letter leagues.
I don't think this particularly great advice. Or rather I think more details need to come out. What level is your son's team playing at? Are they a good squad? What are the training sessions like? Does the coach implement rondos (all varietals), positional play, and training games? Remember that 80%, if not more, of kids touches happen in training sessions. For me, I don't particularly care where or how much my kid plays in games at that age, as long as the training sessions are solid. Obviously there's the challenge of keeping your kid interested, but I would just encourage them that this is a team sport and every position is needed, it doesn't matter who scores, etc etc. If the training sessions aren't great and the level isn't really high, then I'd probably consider the AYSO route. Waiting to join club by U12 can really set a player behind given foundational technique and skill happen between the ages of 8-12. Definitely different than when I was growing up -- but it is what it is.
The training sessions are fantastic. The coach runs them well with great drills. Much better than any training sessions I saw for 4-5 other clubs we went to. And that’s what is holding me back from moving him. Because I see how good the training is.
I’m just concerned if he is playing center back now the entire game every game, how would he learn the other positions for later?
I completely agree it’s so early. My only concern is if he is only playing cb every game the entire game how would he learn other positions well?
And you said playing defense only is the best thing for him right now because he can learn to play under pressure?
Also What did you mean by a kid at u12 ends up disappearing if a coach doesn’t move them to outside back at some point?
Being a successful striker at this age is a combination of two things: being very fast (so tall and/or close to the age line) so they are able to outrun the center back into a 1v1, and having a bit leg. The first gives them the opportunity to shoot. The second is a rarity because most kids legs haven’t developed yet and a kid that can bang the ball without having it go over the post is going to score almost every time they get an opportunity and are on target because the keepers at this age can’t cover the entire goal and can’t cover very fast balls. However a kid who is exclusively played striker at this age will find: a. Eventually other kids get caught up and if they haven’t developed creative play they will lose the position, as striker even more than goalkeeper is a competitive slot and you are judged purely on your ability to get goals and b. It’s harder then to slot into other positions because they haven’t learned ball control and passing (relying instead on speed). A cb doesn’t have this problem. Further you can’t tell who will ultimately be a good cb until heading is permitted because that is such a big part of the modern game. A cb can easily transfer into the mid or wings. The only position they may miss out on is striker just simply because the position is so specialized now, the other kids are building game experience and the competition for the position is fierce. Still doable but handicapped. Striker and gk are the two positions kids seem to be specializing more and more and earlier. But if you play striker exclusively, you are sort of all in…if it turns out later you lack a certain something and haven’t gotten experience in other positions you are done.
whatithink
GOLD
My son's "journey"
- U7-8, "box to box" mid (playing 9v9)
- U9-10, right back (playing 9v9) < new coach
- U11-12, center back (playing 9v9) < new coach, he had a plan (we asked 'cos he was small for CB)
- U13, CDM (playing 11v11) < same coach, as planned
- U14-15, CAM < new coach picked him as CDM and played him as CAM (and was weirdly disappointed!)
- U16-18, 6, 7, 8, 10, 11 < new coach truly developed him (as he was undersized) but saw potential
- U19, plays 9 & 10 but can play anywhere from 6 forward; bullies CBs for fun (he grew up/across)
Mostly though he still loves playing and has loved it all, apart from the one coach anomaly who nearly put him off the game.
He's 9, tell him to have fun and learn. Maybe chat with the coach, he may have a plan, but you are just not in on it yet.
@Grace T. already touched on a lot of the important stuff. I do think players in the midfield, who are capable, have much better long term trajectory vs most of the other positions. Playing CB is tough though, because you get punished when you make a mistake. Kids and parents can't compute that piece and sometimes those CBs can feel like the world is coming down on them. If they can survive that, they will be stronger for it. 8s,10s,9s,7s, and 11s can make all kinds of mistakes without fingers getting pointed at them. That said, if the coach is running good drills, then your son isn't really a "CB Only" during those. He's learning stuff just like everyone else.
He's only 9. I've seen great athletes score 5 goals a game early on. Lots of kickball. When the game switches to 11 v 11 on the big field, athleticism is less a factor. Skilled kids can pass around athletes. My point is just be patient. Playing CB may suck right now but you're not talking about multiple years there.
Athletes scoring 5 goals are game aren't under any pressure... other than their psychotic parents. Playing defense forces you to communicate, play with your eyes up and know you can't make mistakes. I think it's a total disservice to deny a kid that learning experience. I've seen a ton of good players end up quitting or failing to grow as players because they didn't learn to play on both sides of the ball. When the coach says, "raise your hand if you're a defender", every hand should go up.
Maybe ask the coach if he can go up top in those games where you're way up. Just be careful because you don't want him blackballed or on the bench. If you learn anything from this forum, it'll be that coaches/clubs have ALL the power and they do everything to keep it that way. Most won't have the balls to tell you. You'll just see fewer starts and fewer minutes.
A couple of stories about coaches and parents --
In one tournament at U9 (8v8 in those days) level, I subbed for our head coach in one game because he had a conflict with his older girls team in the same tournament (his daughter was on that team, so no one thought it was unusual). We were ahead by 4 goals at halftime, so I benched our 2 best players, let the keeper play up front, and swapped the forwards and defenders. The smallest (and toughest) kid on the team who had been playing outside back all year quickly scored the first 4 goals of his career. That led to the inevitable conflict between our coach and the kid's hard-nosed father (a Navy Mustang officer) and the eventual emotional departure of the little kid.
Later in my assistant-coaching career, after we had transitioned to 11v11 and the coach was the club's DOC, I was subtly campaigning for my son to be given opportunities other than playing sweeper (we were still playing a 3-man backfield). I asked him about his older boys team --
"I guess that D______ (his son) is the best player on that team. What position does he play?"
"Attacking center mid."
"I think that's a good idea."
He looked at me for a few seconds and replied "Nice try!"
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In my experience the best way to not play defense is the same way you not get picked to play in goal. Just be terrible at it. Coaches will take you out of defense because they don't trust you and put you somewhere on top because you can't "hurt the team" up there and then boom you're a forward.
Obviously this tactic won't work on teams where coaches can pick and choose all their players. However it does work when players are younger and when teams are locked because of pay to play.
Obviously this tactic won't work on teams where coaches can pick and choose all their players. However it does work when players are younger and when teams are locked because of pay to play.
April Fools?
It all depends on where you stand on the team. If the center mid’s quality is not far above you, you might have a case. But… Some coaches prefer center mid to distribute the ball and create chances. In this case, center mid doesn’t have to be strong defenders but they can’t be ball hogs. And some prefer them to be able to win the ball back. The coach’s style of play dictates who gets the center mid position. Coaches who played forwards growing up will favor chance creation and faster speed of play.