NEW Referee Abuse Policy

I empathize with referees who are subjected to abuse from overly emotional parents, constantly complaining from the kickoff to the final whistle. Hopefully this new approach in such cases is to eject these individuals and enforce suspensions, ensuring they miss their child's next game. This could help encourage better behavior in the future.

That said, referees should not be immune to scrutiny, especially when bad calls or clear incompetence negatively impact the game. For instance, our team was eliminated from the State Cup due to a questionable decision: a player dove after a heavy touch right outside the box, and our defender, who made no contact, was given a straight red card for it. The linesman had a perfect view of the incident and didn’t raise his flag. Instead, the center referee, who was still far away in midfield, made the controversial call without consulting the linesman. To make matters worse, our team's trace setup video confirmed that no contact was made. I won't bother going into countless other strange calls that game, but this kind of situation is what warrants bringing attention to significant referee mistakes, allowing parents and coaches to report such incidents to league officials.
 
I empathize with referees who are subjected to abuse from overly emotional parents, constantly complaining from the kickoff to the final whistle. Hopefully this new approach in such cases is to eject these individuals and enforce suspensions, ensuring they miss their child's next game. This could help encourage better behavior in the future.

That said, referees should not be immune to scrutiny, especially when bad calls or clear incompetence negatively impact the game. For instance, our team was eliminated from the State Cup due to a questionable decision: a player dove after a heavy touch right outside the box, and our defender, who made no contact, was given a straight red card for it. The linesman had a perfect view of the incident and didn’t raise his flag. Instead, the center referee, who was still far away in midfield, made the controversial call without consulting the linesman. To make matters worse, our team's trace setup video confirmed that no contact was made. I won't bother going into countless other strange calls that game, but this kind of situation is what warrants bringing attention to significant referee mistakes, allowing parents and coaches to report such incidents to league officials.
Until there are a surplus of referees, it won't matter.
 
That said, referees should not be immune to scrutiny, especially when bad calls or clear incompetence negatively impact the game. For instance, our team was eliminated from the State Cup due to a questionable decision: a player dove after a heavy touch right outside the box, and our defender, who made no contact, was given a straight red card for it. The linesman had a perfect view of the incident and didn’t raise his flag. Instead, the center referee, who was still far away in midfield, made the controversial call without consulting the linesman. To make matters worse, our team's trace setup video confirmed that no contact was made. I won't bother going into countless other strange calls that game, but this kind of situation is what warrants bringing attention to significant referee mistakes, allowing parents and coaches to report such incidents to league officials.
Unfortunately, the leagues are moving in the complete opposite direction from improving the quality of officiating, and I'd imagine that soon it will be against the rules to ever be critical of the officials. We're going to need to train our children to try to just laugh at how bad the officiating always is, because getting upset about it on the field will mean a crippling setback in one's soccer career (at best). I've already started talking to my kid about internalizing how terrible the officials might be, and how important it is to understand and accept that reality going in, because with the way the rules are evolving, you might effectively end your soccer career by pointing out any obvious terrible calls out loud.
 
I cannot wait to get yelled at by the parents when the 2025-2026 LOTG changes go into effect in July. Especially the new one that says only team captains are allowed to talk to the referees. Players other than the captain will be cautioned (yellow card). When I caution that first non-captain the parents will lose their mind. Our, when the new 8-second keeper holding the ball is violated and I award a corner kick. Parent’s heads will explode.
 
Unfortunately, the leagues are moving in the complete opposite direction from improving the quality of officiating, and I'd imagine that soon it will be against the rules to ever be critical of the officials. We're going to need to train our children to try to just laugh at how bad the officiating always is, because getting upset about it on the field will mean a crippling setback in one's soccer career (at best). I've already started talking to my kid about internalizing how terrible the officials might be, and how important it is to understand and accept that reality going in, because with the way the rules are evolving, you might effectively end your soccer career by pointing out any obvious terrible calls out loud.
I am looking forward to the LOTG change that says only the captains can talk to the referee. I have a feeling that it is going to take many yellow cards before players get used to the change. It will be nice not having a bunch of player arguing with me when they don’t agree with a call or non-call.

I like the new USSF referee abuse policy. Having witnessed numerous adult and youth referee physical and verbal assaults, it is about time the punishments become harsher. Having witnessed a dad call a 15-year-old female referee a f-ing c-word because he didn’t like her offside call and only had to miss the next tournament game, the new sanctions are welcome.
 
I cannot wait to get yelled at by the parents when the 2025-2026 LOTG changes go into effect in July. Especially the new one that says only team captains are allowed to talk to the referees. Players other than the captain will be cautioned (yellow card). When I caution that first non-captain the parents will lose their mind. Our, when the new 8-second keeper holding the ball is violated and I award a corner kick. Parent’s heads will explode.
Not a ref, but I'd probably be more worried about the SoCal League mandatory lifetime ban for players who (among other things) cuss at a referee. The first time some kid's entire soccer playing career is ended because they are upset with a call and utter a swear word under their breath, you're going to have one or more parents who have legitimate cause to believe that the referee devastated (and caused massive actual harm to) their child. I certainly don't support referee abuse in any form, but I'd also be kinda surprised if this new policy doesn't actually get a ref killed at some point. The new penalties are incredibly harsh, and since the leagues are doing nothing to mitigate frustration with bad calls in general, this seems like it has a very high potential to escalate to much more dangerous circumstances than just verbal abuse.

But, I guess refs are not worried about this, so it might be a nothingburger. I certainly wouldn't want to be a ref destroying a kid's soccer life, though.
 
The above said, we'll really have to see how it plays out, though. If the officials enforce the rules uniformly as written, unless there's a massive change in on-field behavior, I'd estimate that probably 50% of current players would be out of playing club soccer forever by the end of the year (given how many periodic bad calls there are, and how many people get upset about them over the course of a season, both players and parents). That might actually be quite good for reducing the overall cost of club soccer for parents, and assuming no increase of physical violence against referees, would also increase the effective ref/player ratios. So... I guess on balance it might work out, irrespective of the impact on soccer in the US.
 
The above said, we'll really have to see how it plays out, though. If the officials enforce the rules uniformly as written, unless there's a massive change in on-field behavior, I'd estimate that probably 50% of current players would be out of playing club soccer forever by the end of the year (given how many periodic bad calls there are, and how many people get upset about them over the course of a season, both players and parents). That might actually be quite good for reducing the overall cost of club soccer for parents, and assuming no increase of physical violence against referees, would also increase the effective ref/player ratios. So... I guess on balance it might work out, irrespective of the impact on soccer in the US.
Typical red herring argument from someone who doesn't know the LOTG, can't shut his fat mouth on the sidelines, and needs to mollify his fragile ego by pretending he's the only one who can save youth sports in America. I'd say go away, but you're not fooling anyone on here, so go ahead and pretend all you want.
 
Typical red herring argument from someone who doesn't know the LOTG, can't shut his fat mouth on the sidelines, and needs to mollify his fragile ego by pretending he's the only one who can save youth sports in America. I'd say go away, but you're not fooling anyone on here, so go ahead and pretend all you want.
One of my girls walked from soccer and now plays volleyball. Coaches get warning cards for crossing the line and one player on the floor gets to be the conduit between the coach and the main official when it comes to questioning calls and getting an explanation. It's a bit ridiculous to watch, when a player runs back and forth 3 times, but the reality is 95% of parents know less than a soccer official anyway and DO need to shut the fuck up. There isn't the injury element in VB but we really have reached a point where parents think they have some inherent right to piss and moan about officiating.

As much as I don't like good coaches getting booted for mouthy parents, I think you give the coach 1 chance to yell across the field and tell his parents to keep their mouths shut. After a coach gets booted once or twice, that parent is going to have every other parent's eyes on them and that would be enough for most people. The next step? Ban the parent. You can watch the game with binoculars from a mile away.
 
I cannot wait to get yelled at by the parents when the 2025-2026 LOTG changes go into effect in July. Especially the new one that says only team captains are allowed to talk to the referees. Players other than the captain will be cautioned (yellow card). When I caution that first non-captain the parents will lose their mind. Our, when the new 8-second keeper holding the ball is violated and I award a corner kick. Parent’s heads will explode.
The keeper rule at least requires a count down which means there will be no doubt in anyone's mind. The trickier thing will be for refs to navigate when a player is obstructing the release of the ball and the ref starts the count. That's where the angry flashpoint will be. Obstructing the release of the ball despite it not supposed to happen is fairly common. I see at least a stupid attempt at it at least once every other teenage boys game I see.

Surfref can I ask how will the new captain rule work with the youngers? I was reffing an AYSO U12 tournament....in all 3 games at least I would have had to caution....11 year olds have notoriously poor self control even after warnings.
 
As much as I don't like good coaches getting booted for mouthy parents, I think you give the coach 1 chance to yell across the field and tell his parents to keep their mouths shut. After a coach gets booted once or twice, that parent is going to have every other parent's eyes on them and that would be enough for most people. The next step? Ban the parent. You can watch the game with binoculars from a mile away.
The new rules will be much more effective than that, I would predict, if enforced as written. Parents yelling at refs regarding calls will result in a red card for the parent, and either a 6 game or lifetime ban for their kid(s) from playing with their team and in the league(s) (eg: US Soccer specifies 6 games iirc, SoCal League is a lifetime ban). The coach won't need to be involved at all (except in so far as providing parent/kid name info for the required bans); the new rules directly punish the kids, and in many cases one offense will effectively ban them from US Soccer forever, and end their would-be soccer playing careers. Those parents won't be watching games at all any more, I'd imagine.
 
Not a ref, but I'd probably be more worried about the SoCal League mandatory lifetime ban for players who (among other things) cuss at a referee. The first time some kid's entire soccer playing career is ended because they are upset with a call and utter a swear word under their breath, you're going to have one or more parents who have legitimate cause to believe that the referee devastated (and caused massive actual harm to) their child. I certainly don't support referee abuse in any form, but I'd also be kinda surprised if this new policy doesn't actually get a ref killed at some point. The new penalties are incredibly harsh, and since the leagues are doing nothing to mitigate frustration with bad calls in general, this seems like it has a very high potential to escalate to much more dangerous circumstances than just verbal abuse.

But, I guess refs are not worried about this, so it might be a nothingburger. I certainly wouldn't want to be a ref destroying a kid's soccer life, though.
I think you hit on the main point. Because of the harshness of punishments refs are reluctant to even pull out yellow cards. In one game last year my kid should have been red carded for a GK handling out of the box---> DOGSO. Ref was merciful and gave a yellow, knowing a red would lead to a 2-3 game suspension, and they were losing anyways decisively. It's the same way refs are more reluctant to call pens inside the box than out knowing that the punishment is harsher. The harsher punishment is actually a disincentive for it to being used often and uniformly, which is more of a disincentive towards bad behavior.
 
I think you hit on the main point. Because of the harshness of punishments refs are reluctant to even pull out yellow cards. In one game last year my kid should have been red carded for a GK handling out of the box---> DOGSO. Ref was merciful and gave a yellow, knowing a red would lead to a 2-3 game suspension, and they were losing anyways decisively. It's the same way refs are more reluctant to call pens inside the box than out knowing that the punishment is harsher. The harsher punishment is actually a disincentive for it to being used often and uniformly, which is more of a disincentive towards bad behavior.
It ends of being doubly-bad in practice (imho), as you note, because in addition to the very harsh repercussions, the uneven enforcement leads to more perception of bias in the officiating. This leads to more parents being upset with the officiating, absent more communication and understanding (which will not likely to be forthcoming, as referees are being encouraged to punish rather than explain, and parents will be strongly disincentivized from any interaction with the officials). I estimate this will lead to more of a perception that the officials are always corrupt and/or incompetent, since the leagues are taking such an extreme one-sided stance toward perceived bad calls.
 
The new rules will be much more effective than that, I would predict, if enforced as written. Parents yelling at refs regarding calls will result in a red card for the parent, and either a 6 game or lifetime ban for their kid(s) from playing with their team and in the league(s) (eg: US Soccer specifies 6 games iirc, SoCal League is a lifetime ban). The coach won't need to be involved at all (except in so far as providing parent/kid name info for the required bans); the new rules directly punish the kids, and in many cases one offense will effectively ban them from US Soccer forever, and end their would-be soccer playing careers. Those parents won't be watching games at all any more, I'd imagine.
Lying again.
Lifetime bans only come into play for physically attacking a ref: punching, kicking, biting, choking, tackling, spitting, etc.
Even then, there's still discretion to go as low as a 12 month ban. For fuck's sake, if you can't agree that someone deserves a 12 month or even a lifetime ban for physically assaulting a referee, then something's wrong with you, not US Soccer.

In the example you give above, the actual punishment would be a very reasonable 2 game ban for the one hurling the insults. Children not punished for parent conduct. If you can't wake up every morning with the understanding that you're not going to scream insults at someone trying to do her job that day, then you shouldn't be allowed around children. It won't be perfect, but things will improve.
If I'm wrong, then I anxiously await news of your lifetime ban.
 
Lying again.
Lifetime bans only come into play for physically attacking a ref: punching, kicking, biting, choking, tackling, spitting, etc.
Even then, there's still discretion to go as low as a 12 month ban. For fuck's sake, if you can't agree that someone deserves a 12 month or even a lifetime ban for physically assaulting a referee, then something's wrong with you, not US Soccer.

In the example you give above, the actual punishment would be a very reasonable 2 game ban for the one hurling the insults. Children not punished for parent conduct. If you can't wake up every morning with the understanding that you're not going to scream insults at someone trying to do her job that day, then you shouldn't be allowed around children. It won't be perfect, but things will improve.
If I'm wrong, then I anxiously await news of your lifetime ban.
This is a direct quote from the SoCal League policy on ref abuse, for reference (emphasis added for clarity):
ANY PERSON who touches, confronts, chases, bullies, follows, cusses at, threatens, waits for, tries
to fight, attacks or assaults a referee will be banned FOR LIFE from the SOCAL League and will be
turned over to US Club Soccer for further disciplinary actions.
 
Nobody here is disputing, or even discussing, seemingly appropriate punishments for kids (or parents) who physically assault officials, and while it's an attractive straw man argument to pretend they are (and then assert that those people are stupid based on the position they are not taking), that doesn't make the argument any more valid. The whole substantive thread is discussing verbal "abuse" of complaining about calls, primarily from the sidelines.

Hopefully that's clear to everyone not just trolling here.
 
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