sandshark
SILVER ELITE
Agreed
How to do two tryouts simultaneously?
- Thread starter seesnake
- Start date
Agreed
outside!
DA
That is because ER is an asshole. Watch out for DR and ML at Albion as well. There are also some good coaches at Albion. All clubs have a mix of coaches, some good, some not so good, some that should be avoided. Some clubs have a few great coaches, and they are not always the big clubs.
To the OP, have your kid practice with teams you think might be a good fit. Make a decision before tryouts.
sandshark
SILVER ELITE
Totally agree! Who is DR?
DR is probably Dan, one of the boys coaches. I assume ML is Michal Lynn? On the old forum there was a post about her being a PE teacher at High Tech middle school and pulling kids out of class to question them about why they were trying out at a different club. She now works full time at Albion I believe? Those loyal that are willing to do the dirty work are rewarded at Albion like DR who is also full time.
It's my policy not to call out coaches or clubs by name, but for DR I will make an exception...consider it a PSA. We had the misfortune of having my son play for DR for two years (1st year shame on him, 2nd year shame on us). I could write a novel of misdeeds (nothing criminal), but suffice it to say, he should not be allowed around kids, particularly youngers. Hell, for that matter he should not be allowed around parents. His behavior and the club's (WC and NG) continued support of him despite mounds of evidence is one of the reasons we left the club. Great decision to leave and we're very happy with our club now.
growingpains
BRONZE
Ok, back to the topic at hand... and thanks btw for the PSA's, some bad coaches really do need to be outed.
Agree on the whole reaching out to the coach and joining one of their practices. That is certainly a good option and you're more likely to standout vs a normal tryout anyway (just my limited experience) and this is what I recommend if you're looking at two new clubs. But - if it is conflicting with your current club tryouts, I think it does say something about your satisfaction with how things are going and your gut is telling you it's time to move on to a different club, coach, or team... so given the choice, go to the new club/team tryouts. Your current coach already knows what your kid is capable of and has probably already made an assessment, if you're getting a new coach, most likely they've already assessed your kid as well or gotten the lowdown so if you really want to go back, then they'll either want you or won't.
The flip side to this is also realize that every team has its issues. It's easy to get into the whole grass is greener mentality and at the end of the day, unless you really think through your priorities (or your kids) and are aware of the trade offs, you're likely to wind up just as frustrated as you began. No club is perfect, no coach is perfect, and no team nor player is perfect. If you can surround yourself with good people, good kids who share the same goals as yours (and you really need to think through what your ultimate goals are), and good coaches, you've done pretty damn well - likely better than most.
Agree on the whole reaching out to the coach and joining one of their practices. That is certainly a good option and you're more likely to standout vs a normal tryout anyway (just my limited experience) and this is what I recommend if you're looking at two new clubs. But - if it is conflicting with your current club tryouts, I think it does say something about your satisfaction with how things are going and your gut is telling you it's time to move on to a different club, coach, or team... so given the choice, go to the new club/team tryouts. Your current coach already knows what your kid is capable of and has probably already made an assessment, if you're getting a new coach, most likely they've already assessed your kid as well or gotten the lowdown so if you really want to go back, then they'll either want you or won't.
The flip side to this is also realize that every team has its issues. It's easy to get into the whole grass is greener mentality and at the end of the day, unless you really think through your priorities (or your kids) and are aware of the trade offs, you're likely to wind up just as frustrated as you began. No club is perfect, no coach is perfect, and no team nor player is perfect. If you can surround yourself with good people, good kids who share the same goals as yours (and you really need to think through what your ultimate goals are), and good coaches, you've done pretty damn well - likely better than most.
Thanks for calling the A hole by name. These clowns think that being a girls soccer coach somehow puts them in the upper echelon of society. You are a kids soccer coach, just like the dad that coaches AYSO. Parents are sitting on a stool like a lion at the circus. the coach acts like the lion tamer. The lions are too busy looking at the whip to realize they could destroy the tamer with one swipe.
Bananacorner
SILVER ELITE
Good advice -- you won't find perfect, and your player is not perfect, so make sure you are realistic in your assessments. For my U13 DD, we are on club 5. With the exception of one minor setback (we went to a club because she really liked and wanted to train with the female coach, and I had to respect that even though I wasn't sure it was the best fit -- coach ended up being not so good), all of the moves have been improvements to the previous situation. One was just a detour to play up a year for a team that I knew wasn't a long-term solution. Overall, we have moved from the original club with awful training/ programming to excellent training and programming. Now our issue isn't about being unhappy with "not learning anything" which was her constant complaint before, but instead to whether she wants to make the commitment at this level, which so far has involved intense training of 3x-(winter) to 6x-(summer) -a-week training sessions, and the ability to withstand the incredibly critical coaching style (complete with yelling, personal jabs and shaming, and occasional hysterics). I will say that the moves from club to club did take a toll on my DD as far as bonding with teammates, but that may just be her, not necessarily all kids. Can't even imagine she would still be playing if we had stayed where we were originally, looking back now the training is just so bad, but I guess you never get the benefit of trying two different roads and comparing the outcomes.
growingpains
BRONZE
I disagree. I think coaches deserve a lot more respect than they get. While yes there are complete hacks out there, especially at youngers, they have a pretty tough job just keeping their attention. On top of that, every move they make is scrutinized - and again no coach is perfect, they do the best they can, they're human. These men/women make just enough to survive but most of them still chose to do it because they love the game and want to pass that on. Many have to work second jobs.
Parents, it's easy to get frustrated about things when you feel like you're not in control. The key is not just bottling it up and letting it eat at you the entire season. Just reach out to your coach with an open mind and have a talk about it. If you treat them with respect, they will likely return the favor and regardless if you choose to stay at the club or go, it will likely be on good terms.
NumberTen
SILVER ELITE
Now for another perspective... We have had DR as a coach for the last two years and I would have to disagree with you. His teams are not for the weak. He instills discipline and does not let the inmates run the asylum (parents or players). Has he sat players for running their mouth and not doing what they were told, yes. Does he do things like not starting someone because they missed practice or were late, yes. Do all of his players shake his hand after practice and say thanks, sure. Its called learning to be a man. Oh yeah, he has cut several players who couldn't cut it. In my experience he has taken weak teams and progressed them through the flights quite successfully. If your a snowflake or raising your sons to be, then yes get out. If your interested in your sons learning discipline and responsibility then you will have no problem. As for youngers, I believe he is the director and has been for many years. If there really was a problem don't you think that something would be done about it. Considering the amount and extent of the entitlement mentality that exists in club soccer.
It sounds like your a snowflake or your kid didn't make it. Its not for everyone.
Maybe it is best to agree that each child will respond to certain coaching styles, and that different styles work for different kids. Tough or caring, male or female, each kid is different. Find what is best for your kid, make sure they keep improving, and be fair and open with your coaches.
NumberTen
SILVER ELITE
agreed
I completely agree. Just tell me, I am not going to take it personally. I hate finding out through the "back door channels" that a kid was somewhere. You have to do what is best for your kid and many times that move is not coach related. Honesty by far the best policy.[/QUOTE]
kind of agree. but if the coach is an A hole then F him. you do not owe them anything. If the coach is a real coach and looking out for your DD's best interest i would say something. The only answer from him should be good luck I hope it goes good or do what you think is best for your DD.
This isn't every coach out there. Coaches get plenty of respect. One nut on every team but that goes with the territory. The same 10% of parents cause 90% of the problem for any coach. I was talking about a coach being an Ass to a 15 yo girl. This had nothing to do with how they talk to me. Im an adult so they will use a different tone. The reason people treat other people like crap is because they think they can. I guarantee he wouldn't talk to his boss' daughter like that.
sandshark
SILVER ELITE
Sounds like AYSO or maybe a super cool small club in the middle of Disney Land or La La Land, I like this outlook it sounds super fun.
growingpains
BRONZE
No
Not really, we've now been at several different clubs - all medium to large and while I never agreed completely with any of the coaches (of course my opinion and way of doing things was way better - ha!) all the coaches we've had were humble and just normal people who loved the game. A couple of them were phenomenal and I didn't realize it until well after the fact. But even the coach with whom I felt treated my kid very unfairly, I respected what he was trying to do with the team. We disagreed, tried to work it out, it didn't, she wasn't the type of player he was looking for and so we moved on. Of course I was livid at the time.
Since then I think my perspective has changed completely and if nothing else, it's helped my sanity and has allowed me and my daughter to enjoy the game and the process. No more getting upset about losses, poor play by the team, lectures on the way home. If our team isn't playing well or I don't think the coach is teaching what they need, we supplement with other training - most coaches in your club will allow you to train with their same age year or up/down teams - and it doesn't even cost anything, just reach out to them. Then we re-evaluate for the following year.
I guess we've been pretty lucky. I do know of some pretty bad coaches that have just mentally destroyed kids (and parents for that matter) and you've got to nip those in the bud - no matter how "good" the coach is, there are other ways to make it to the top. Coaches that try to convince you by saying one or two of their players are now ODP/DA/National team/college players are to be approached with caution - most likely those kids would've made it there anyway and you need to remember that out of how many years they've been coaching, what percentage of their players made it vs hi e many didn't and how many players made it that he/she did NOT coach. They are not the only path to success.
Not really, we've now been at several different clubs - all medium to large and while I never agreed completely with any of the coaches (of course my opinion and way of doing things was way better - ha!) all the coaches we've had were humble and just normal people who loved the game. A couple of them were phenomenal and I didn't realize it until well after the fact. But even the coach with whom I felt treated my kid very unfairly, I respected what he was trying to do with the team. We disagreed, tried to work it out, it didn't, she wasn't the type of player he was looking for and so we moved on. Of course I was livid at the time.
Since then I think my perspective has changed completely and if nothing else, it's helped my sanity and has allowed me and my daughter to enjoy the game and the process. No more getting upset about losses, poor play by the team, lectures on the way home. If our team isn't playing well or I don't think the coach is teaching what they need, we supplement with other training - most coaches in your club will allow you to train with their same age year or up/down teams - and it doesn't even cost anything, just reach out to them. Then we re-evaluate for the following year.
I guess we've been pretty lucky. I do know of some pretty bad coaches that have just mentally destroyed kids (and parents for that matter) and you've got to nip those in the bud - no matter how "good" the coach is, there are other ways to make it to the top. Coaches that try to convince you by saying one or two of their players are now ODP/DA/National team/college players are to be approached with caution - most likely those kids would've made it there anyway and you need to remember that out of how many years they've been coaching, what percentage of their players made it vs hi e many didn't and how many players made it that he/she did NOT coach. They are not the only path to success.
outside!
DA
First off, none of my kids have been on DR's team. DR treats the players he needs with respect. It is the way he treats players that he doesn't think meet his standards of play that is the problem. DR has been disrespectful and demeaning to many players over the years which is why several people warned me about him (including ex-players that are now adults) when my son played at Albion. I don't think learning to be a man involves letting people in positions of authority be disrespectful to children. My son is no longer at Albion, but I have great respect for his old coach (LS) and have recommend him to people.
sandshark
SILVER ELITE
Hey blah blah why call that person a "Snow flake" why the name calling? How do you come to the conclusion they are a "Snow flake" because they don't agree with you? I'm more concerned with how these coaches treat the kids and how they feel they can be disrespectful to children. In the real world we don't hire them to make people's kids an example, we actually pay for the coach to be the example! So when you have some ego maniac, asshole bully coach making an example of a kid that can't keep up that is the opposite of what most parents want their children to emulate towards others.
You have to be a real POS to attack children and think it's ok for any reason! And if you support the coaches or any adult making an example of children your right there with them.
You have to be a real POS to attack children and think it's ok for any reason! And if you support the coaches or any adult making an example of children your right there with them.
I'm not going to swap ad hominems with you. I don't need to defend my son, I will let his play speak for itself.
IMO a coach demeaning 7-8 year olds is not an appropriate way to instill discipline...if thats what you want to call it. More power to you if DR's style works for you and your son. However you are the first person out of dozens I have heard of that has spoken positively of him. I know many flight 1 players, including my son, who left his teams as a result of his behavior. They didn't leave because they couldn't handle his "discipline" or weren't good enough. The families left because of the toxic environment he created, among other things.
outside!
DA
I can respect that, but after years in club soccer I just got fed up with all of the BS. This forum is one of the few ways we parents have of sharing information. I will call out coaches that treat players poorly anytime.
That's pretty spot on, although I would argue that his selective treatment of kids wasn't tied to their abilities. In our two years it was more tied to the kids and parents that wouldn't stand up for themselves (like the lion attacking the gimpy gazelle). I watched him completely destroy the confidence of a very quiet kid on our team that was a arguably the best player our 1st year.
sandshark
SILVER ELITE
That is the biggest problem in youth soccer is all of us not wanting to call out the wrongs these clubs and coaches are doing to the children and their families!
If we keep on not talking and warning each other of these wrongs nothing will ever change. Expose the jerks and clubs they work for.