Great weekend of soccer!

[Giesbock]

Your not wrong. Yet, that discussion is a different topic.

Fair enough.

 

[notintheface]

Don't tell the refs, but I prefer a coach reffing scrimmages. Coaches let the game flow and aren't interrupting games for irrelevant fouls. The other team's coach reffed my son's game and did a great job. I may be high but I also think players self-regulate their behavior somewhat in scrimmages. Not realistic for real games but effective for scrimmages.

Intra-club scrimmages should have one ref who is known to both coaches, eg friend/family with a certificate, or another coach, etc. Both coaches have the ability to pause the match at any time, leave the touchline for a teaching moment, and restart safely. Line judges should be irrelevant -- if you're close, you're onside, and everyone must call for the throw-in. Gets players talking and pressing their case to the ref, which is a valuable skill to have. Prior to the scrimmage both teams, coaches, and ref agree upon an allowed level of contact-- in general, light bumping is fine but even heavy shoulder-to-shoulder should get you whistled, no going to ground, and contact from behind is extremely frowned upon.

 

[notintheface]

Is it okay for a kid to try to win a spelling bee or a robotics competition? Is this just a sports bias? Is it possible people have to project their child's lack of motivation by deciding that all kids that are competitive on the field are molded to try to win by parenting?

It is fine and good for a child to want to win a game. That is absolutely natural. Being a good parent here means telling your child that you will not win every game, and telling your child that it is how you compose yourself not only when you lose but also when you win, that sets you apart and will set you up for much more success at a later age. I cannot tell you how many 10 year old phenoms I have seen completely drop the game at 14 because their parents only conditioned them for 9-0 victories as a little, and they got burned out as soon as they started getting 1-1 draws as a teen.

90% of their work rate is done in practice where they win and lose all the time. You don't get hyped up about them winning a take-on in practice; you should similarly not get hyped up about them winning a take-on in a match.