Sometimes, a three-point celebration is just a three-point celebration. Sometimes, a pep rally is just a pep rally. Sometimes, a smile is just a smile. And sometimes, a hat is just a hat.
Only among the most deranged partisans could a universal sports ritual, a common high school activity, a typical teen face and patriotic headgear be construed as evil symbols of patriarchal oppression.
These, however, are the soul-sapping, lunacy-inducing times in which we live.--Malkin
Sometimes a scarf is just a scarf.
Malkin's Crusade against a Sinister Scarf![edit]
In 2008, Malkin looked at an ad Rachael Ray did for Dunkin' Donuts and decided that the black-and-white paisley scarf she was wearing was a sly sign of support for the Palestinian Liberation Organization.[16]
It is scientifically impossible to make that sound more ridiculous than it really is. Trust us, we tried.
Sometimes a crescent is just a shape.
Malkin and the Sinister Crescent![edit]
In 2005, Malkin took a pre-eminent role in an astoundingly dumb controversy regarding a proposed memorial for Flight 93. Dubbed "Crescent of Embrace," it consisted primarily of a stand of trees partially surrounding the crash site. The design was selected by a panel composed of design experts and victims' family members, and it was announced on September 7.[4]
Shortly after the announcement, a group of Internet obsessives—Malkin among them—came to the conclusion that the Memorial was actually a covert memorial to the terrorists.[5] Why? Because it's a big red crescent, a historic symbol of Islam![6] With such clear facts, all Malkin had to overcome were the families, all of whom were sure the claims were utter bunk.[7] Of course, Malkin is not one to let something as petty as the stated desires of the grieving get in her way.
The dreaded crescent was not a particularly long-term campaign, for Malkin or anyone else. Today, the only ones who want to talk about it are the mentally unstable sons of renowned political theorists.[8]
Sometimes an interment camp is Racist.
Malkin defends Japanese internment[edit]
In 2004, Malkin released a book defending Japanese internment during World War II (something that was ordered by Franklin D. Roosevelt). Apparently, she didn't like the fact that Japanese internment was brought up by those opposing racial profiling of terr'ists Muslims, so she decided to write a negationist history of Japanese internment. In fact, it was not racist. Nothing to do with racism, nothing at all.[3] The book is especially ironic considering that the leading conservative Republican during World War II was opposed to Japanese American Internment.