Club soccer stuff that drive you nuts...

[MacDre]

Sitting on the wrong side. Uggh.
I think this a dumb rule, written or unwritten.
The only place I shouldn't be allowed to sit/stand is near the bench so the coach can do his job, with no distractions.
If parent is annoying and loud, yelling at their kid's play for 80-90 minutes, I could see it being a problem to the opposing team's parents, BUT, I wouldn't want that parent near me either, no matter who's team his kid plays for.
You are there to watch your child play.
Cheer them when they do well console them if they think they didn't.
It's for them not you.

Spot on. I go to games to support my kid, but I also go to games to stay connected with and support the youth in my community. Oftentimes, I root for others kids more than I root for mine. Any rule that mandates that parents can only sit with their team is lame, hostile, and hurts community!

 

[Brav520]

Sitting on the wrong side. Uggh.
I think this a dumb rule, written or unwritten.
The only place I shouldn't be allowed to sit/stand is near the bench so the coach can do his job, with no distractions.
If parent is annoying and loud, yelling at their kid's play for 80-90 minutes, I could see it being a problem to the opposing team's parents, BUT, I wouldn't want that parent near me either, no matter who's team his kid plays for.
You are there to watch your child play.
Cheer them when they do well console them if they think they didn't.
It's for them not you.

I believe you will see this rule in tournaments

so cal league may also have it

 

[Brav520]

Spot on. I go to games to support my kid, but I also go to games to stay connected with and support the youth in my community. Oftentimes, I root for others kids more than I root for mine. Any rule that mandates that parents can only sit with their team is lame, hostile, and hurts community!

my guess is you would be in the minority, so that is why this rule is in place

seems to me any time an opposing parent is on our side , they are almost always an asshole

 

[Woodwork]

here's some things that drive me nuts

• parents coaching their kids from sidelines
• parents sitting on wrong side
• parents that pay for privates from coach

I'm with you on the wrong side and on the paying for privates from coach (most of the time it feels like a side deal and most of the time they'd be better off getting privates from someone else anyway). But, I've actually come around on coaching my own kid a little from the sidelines WITH THE CAVEATS that it is a short instruction, spoken and not yelled, that it isn't something we can work on outside the game context, AND I know what I am talking about.

An example of that recently is that my kid was playing a less familiar 9 position and I explained onside diagonal runs quickly when they were out of possession. 8 years of club soccer and no coach ever explained it to her, yet it complete changed the game. Her learning curve was much shorter when she was able to apply it immediately in-game. I think coaches are dealing with so much during a game that they either can't notice or can't allocate time to individual positional pointers for all 11 players.

 

[paytoplay]

Parents coaching from the sideline… We must not be paying to play enough for actual coaching, so we need dumbass parents coaching from the sideline? Another success of the pay-the-club system.

 

[soccerchaffeur]

my guess is you would be in the minority, so that is why this rule is in place

seems to me any time an opposing parent is on our side , they are almost always an asshole

This is a no-brainer. While we'd all love a 'everyone get along, let's be a big community!' world...this isn't reality. You stay on your side and we'll stay on ours. Parents are emotional...some WAYYYYYYYY more than others. Draw a line in the sand and keep it as civil as possible.

 

[timbuck]

This is a no-brainer. While we'd all love a 'everyone get along, let's be a big community!' world...this isn't reality. You stay on your side and we'll stay on ours. Parents are emotional...some WAYYYYYYYY more than others. Draw a line in the sand and keep it as civil as possible.

Everyone is well behaved until they think someone wronged their kid (hard tackle, talking smack, making fun of their glasses or a parent saying something like "Dont let the fat kid beat you. You are faster")

Then the only thing left to do is fight.

 

[soccerchaffeur]

Everyone is well behaved until they think someone wronged their kid (hard tackle, talking smack, making fun of their glasses or a parent saying something like "Dont let the fat kid beat you. You are faster")

Then the only thing left to do is fight.

I never give people, especially soccer parents, the benefit of the doubt. I've been around a little. Two daughters(06 & 08)and two boys(twins 12's). People are horrible! I was the rec/signature coach. Then I became a team manager(worst job I've ever had and never got paid for). I've seen it from all angles. Now, I'm just dad and try my best to make sure my kids are happy.

 

[Woodwork]

Parents coaching from the sideline… We must not be paying to play enough for actual coaching, so we need dumbass parents coaching from the sideline? Another success of the pay-the-club system.

I am my child's personal coach, sports psychologist, nutritionist, agility and strength trainer, and sports agent. The club coach can't do all those things and he/she lacks the wholistic vision to understand what my kid needs to play at her best in any given moment. In addition, a coach often has competing or conflicting interests. For me, the club just needs to provide opportunity and not provide a coach that is a jackass.

I played and coached soccer for over 20 years and have been a fan of soccer when not playing or coaching. If you look at elite players, how many of them have a parent behind them who was an athlete at a decent level as well? It really looks like quite a few.

 

[NorCalDad]

I am my child's personal coach, sports psychologist, nutritionist, agility and strength trainer, and sports agent. The club coach can't do all those things and he/she lacks the wholistic vision to understand what my kid needs to play at her best in any given moment. In addition, a coach often has competing or conflicting interests. For me, the club just needs to provide opportunity and not provide a coach that is a jackass.

I played and coached soccer for over 20 years and have been a fan of soccer when not playing or coaching. If you look at elite players, how many of them have a parent behind them who was an athlete at a decent level as well? It really looks like quite a few.

You're exactly the kind of parent I wouldn't want to sit next to. In the end you probably don't know what you're talking about. You should take on a coaching role if you want to coach. Kids need to hear from one coach -- not a parent trying to live vicariously through them. Just go enjoy watching your kids play the game.

 

[JB805]

my guess is you would be in the minority, so that is why this rule is in place

seems to me any time an opposing parent is on our side , they are almost always an asshole

Same- from my experience if an opposition parent is on our sideline during the game, they are yelling at their child and/or the referee in a harsh or aggressive manner.

There is the occasional opposition parent who will come over mid-game and compliment your team but that is few and far between. Most of that interaction happens after the game.

 

[Grace T.]

You're exactly the kind of parent I wouldn't want to sit next to. In the end you probably don't know what you're talking about. You should take on a coaching role if you want to coach. Kids need to hear from one coach -- not a parent trying to live vicariously through them. Just go enjoy watching your kids play the game.

Both things can be simultaneously true: the coaches don't have time to focus on all 11 kids and their knowledge as to the particular position may be more limited than the parents & the kids need to hear from one coach and if all 11 parents shout out contradictory information which may not conform to the tactics and vision the coach has set out (e.g. play it long, play it short; pass it, shoot it) it causes chaos. It's one of the major problems we have in American soccer: we are paying all this money and a lot of the education the kids are getting simply isn't good.

There's no good solution to this for the current generation. There is a dearth of soccer knowledge out there even among very highly licensed coaches, and even to the extent there isn't, some of them well just don't know how to teach. European tiered rec overcomes this because the coaches have mostly played the game their entire lives and religiously follow the sport and commentary (which is ubiquitous in Europe). The next generation will have it better. It's also one of the reasons, BTW, why AYSO rec fell apart: too many volunteer coaches who had never played and don't know what they are doing. I've also generally found that the younger coaches out there seem to have a better understanding of the game, though it is not uniformly true.

 

[Woodwork]

You're exactly the kind of parent I wouldn't want to sit next to. In the end you probably don't know what you're talking about. You should take on a coaching role if you want to coach. Kids need to hear from one coach -- not a parent trying to live vicariously through them. Just go enjoy watching your kids play the game.

You make a lot of assumptions based on the fact that I said I recently took about 5 seconds to explain diagonal runs to my daughter who didn't usually play forward in a game, and that it was something I only recently came around to.

Otherwise, I am talking about the fact that 90% of my daughter's preparation is with me and not in a game.

Most of my posts here are about not buying into the club kool aid and making sure kids focus on academics.

Please tell me more about me, though.

 

[Soccer Dad & Ref]

Parents/coaches that speak to the opposing team's players in a disparaging way. As a referee, I can't believe the stuff I hear adults say to little kids.

And yeah, you're paying way too much to the club to allow a dipshit parent to coach from the sidelines.

And also, yeah, sit in the same area as the other parents, no need to wander outside that area during the game unless you can be 100% mute (which i doubt, because you're already so wound up you can't sit still for 70-90 minutes)

 

[timbuck]

The problem parents on the sidelines usually have a player that is a GK or a striker.

I've seen the following: Parent says to his little super-striker "Takes shots. This goalkeeper isn't as good as the one in the first half. (or ive heard "this keeper sucks.) This is said on the wrong sideline because striker dad feels the need to run along side of her/him while they are going to goal.
Keeper dad says "Shut you f*cking mouth or I'll shut it for you."

Anger ensues.

Or striker is going to goal and center back takes her out. Striker dad wants a foul, a red card, a police investigation and revenge. And they let everyone know it.

 

[NorCalDad]

Both things can be simultaneously true: the coaches don't have time to focus on all 11 kids and their knowledge as to the particular position may be more limited than the parents & the kids need to hear from one coach and if all 11 parents shout out contradictory information which may not conform to the tactics and vision the coach has set out (e.g. play it long, play it short; pass it, shoot it) it causes chaos. It's one of the major problems we have in American soccer: we are paying all this money and a lot of the education the kids are getting simply isn't good.

There's no good solution to this for the current generation. There is a dearth of soccer knowledge out there even among very highly licensed coaches, and even to the extent there isn't, some of them well just don't know how to teach. European tiered rec overcomes this because the coaches have mostly played the game their entire lives and religiously follow the sport and commentary (which is ubiquitous in Europe). The next generation will have it better. It's also one of the reasons, BTW, why AYSO rec fell apart: too many volunteer coaches who had never played and don't know what they are doing. I've also generally found that the younger coaches out there seem to have a better understanding of the game, though it is not uniformly true.

Definitely agree that coaching quality is pretty low in the US. Pretty sure posts I've made elsewhere emphasize this. I honestly think unless we're talking U10 and younger, there should be very little talking on both sidelines. Coaches should coach pregame, halftime, postgame, and most importantly during training sessions (which should be more intense physically and mentally than games). I also think veo/tracer systems are an excellent way for parents that are more involved to sit with their kids and talk about game. I completely understand the situation where you don't agree with a coach's tactics or inability to focus on 11 players at the same time, but keeping quiet is absolutely the best approach for everyone involved.

 

[Woodwork]

I completely understand the situation where you don't agree with a coach's tactics or inability to focus on 11 players at the same time, but keeping quiet is absolutely the best approach for everyone involved.

Not saying that I sit there and scream instructions at my kid like you imagine.

But, I am saying that there can be limited, opportune moments when a player can get a small piece of information in a live game situation and then get an immense benefit by applying it in that situation. Game tape is one thing, but players learn a ton from trying new things in games and they don't always remember the game tape from two weeks ago.

A good coach will do that. I've not seen that coach often. If your kid isn't getting it at all from the coach, ever, absolute silence isn't the answer. I'd advocate giving your kid that little bit of key information just before going back to coach at half time, if convenient.

Example could be if he plays centerback and is holding a high line flat-footed when the other centerback steps up to make a tackle. At half time whistle-blow I wouldn't be against saying, quietly and privately, hey, when your other centerback steps up to make tackles, you have to be ready to drop and reform your line with the fullbacks in case the tackle is missed and the CAM makes a pass through that open space.

Crap coach will let 5 goals come through that way. 3 seconds with your kid in-game and they become better centerbacks for life.

 

[NorCalDad]

Not saying that I sit there and scream instructions at my kid like you imagine.

But, I am saying that there can be limited, opportune moments when a player can get a small piece of information in a live game situation and then get an immense benefit by applying it in that situation. Game tape is one thing, but players learn a ton from trying new things in games and they don't always remember the game tape from two weeks ago.

A good coach will do that. I've not seen that coach often. If your kid isn't getting it at all from the coach, ever, absolute silence isn't the answer. I'd advocate giving your kid that little bit of key information just before going back to coach at half time, if convenient.

Example could be if he plays centerback and is holding a high line flat-footed when the other centerback steps up to make a tackle. At half time whistle-blow I wouldn't be against saying, quietly and privately, hey, when your other centerback steps up to make tackles, you have to be ready to drop and reform your line with the fullbacks in case the tackle is missed and the CAM makes a pass through that open space.

Crap coach will let 5 goals come through that way. 3 seconds with your kid in-game and they become better centerbacks for life.

Kids need to learn at their own pace. If your kid was in a play at school and they weren't hitting the notes right, would you say something mid play (even if quietly)? I've also found that when I'm watching the game in real time my observations aren't always 100% correct. That's where film comes in. I've had moments where I've gone "Oh, that's what they were seeing and that's why they did that". I totally get the frustration around coaches that aren't great (or just flat out bad). We've all experienced them. That's when I go to the DoC and give my feedback. That said, kids need to learn to listen to their coach (obviously, unless they harming them). The other thing I've seen is parents "quietly" coaching their kids on the sideline, yet 2-3 other players look over when it happens. It's just distracting for everyone. My recommendation is to reach out to the coach (at least 24 hours after a game) and share your observations.

 

[Grace T.]

My recommendation is to reach out to the coach (at least 24 hours after a game) and share your observations.

Depends on the coach but that rarely goes well. Firstly, you better have the credential or have played yourself in college. Secondly, many of them are so insecure (knowing they have limited knowledge and it might not be going well) and thin skinned that you won't make yourself a favorite if you "share your observations". Third, it requires building a relationship of trust which goes two ways between coach and parent because usually it will read to the coach "let me share with you my observations about how you are screwing up". Fourth, it's a tactic that should only be used sparingly for some obvious problem or you'll make a nuisance of yourself. I say this as someone who has much better knowledge of my son's position and with a higher credential than most of the coach's my son has taken with, and who made quite a few mistakes early on in his career.

The issue with film is that until they hit a certain age, the brain just simply isn't wired to learn that way. The issue with talking to them after is that at first they are wound up and don't need a lecture from the parent of everything they've done wrong, and then afterwards they've moved on and already thrown the memory into the garbage bin.

 

[Woodwork]

Kids need to learn at their own pace. If your kid was in a play at school and they weren't hitting the notes right, would you say something mid play (even if quietly)? I've also found that when I'm watching the game in real time my observations aren't always 100% correct. That's where film comes in. I've had moments where I've gone "Oh, that's what they were seeing and that's why they did that". I totally get the frustration around coaches that aren't great (or just flat out bad). We've all experienced them. That's when I go to the DoC and give my feedback. That said, kids need to learn to listen to their coach (obviously, unless they harming them). The other thing I've seen is parents "quietly" coaching their kids on the sideline, yet 2-3 other players look over when it happens. It's just distracting for everyone. My recommendation is to reach out to the coach (at least 24 hours after a game) and share your observations.

LOL at the coach that sucks at coaching and the parent going to the coach sharing observations. LOL at going to the DOC.

You seem to have a real fairytale version of the maturity levels of coaches. DOCs and coaches see you talking to them as a nuisance at best and an assault on them personally at worst. I envy your world view.

From 3 years old to 18, my kid has one consistent soccer trainer. That's me. These coaches and clubs will come and go. In terms of how other parents view me whispering to my kid for 3 seconds at half time, I could care less. My kid wouldn't put up with me yelling at her in a game and is old enough to give me the stink eye if she thinks the other kids are side-eyeing it. She's captained ECNL and played high-level long enough to know what got her there.