Avoiding burnout

full90 said:
The one thing I wish we would've done differently is to not feel bad about skipping a tourney or league game. We are DA now and our coach is like "hey it's a long season, don't feel bad about missing something." So all of us have taken that to heart and go on vacations, etc...We all look back and laugh at club soccer and the immense pressure that every tournament/league/CRL game was of the utmost importance. If we had the strength to say "um yeah we are gone the weekend of the (we now realize) meaningless Albion Cup tournament" it would've been a win for our family and kid. As it is we have a closet full of meaningless tourney medals that no one looks at or cares about and a lot of sacrificed weekends for really no reason.

And whoever said it above...if they quit, they quit. You can do everything "right" regarding breaks and whatnot and they still want to do something else. OR they never have a day off and love it for years and years on end.

We do ask our kids "do you still love it?" "What do you want to do next season?" "What are your goals?" and then help them plan accordingly. When we hear flack about 4 days a week DA (which is too much IMHO) we reply back "you wanted to be DA. This is what it means. If you don't want DA, totally fine by us...here are other club options. Maybe next season you move to club." Then it's the kid's choice and we are there for follow through. (Once they are dressed and in the car it's usually fine).

Coaches can be huge allies in taking the pressure off to not miss. A missed practice here and there for a mental health day or a birthday dinner should be encouraged and not punished. If a team culture of fun and hard work is there, then a missed day is no more or less than a missed day.
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Chalklines said:
Good luck with Coachella. That's a journey your daughter should not be leading you on.

How olds your player? (And yeah.... I get it. You can't keep them away from drugs/sex/alcohol forever)
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Colleges have drugs,sex and alcohol too.
Music concerts are therapeutic and ones you will remember for the rest of your life.
Shoot I would love to go to Coachella with my old a$$..
 
Tournaments are like drugs, especially for parents. They aren’t good for measuring anything. Oh but those silly got soccer points and rankings.

So let’s see: tournaments are typically bad schedules, bad competition, fake trophies, and home-cooking schedules.

They’d be better off training more and playing fewer tournies.
 
MakeAPlay said:
I love this! I just showed my player her box of meaningless club medals (it's now in my possession) this past week (she was on spring break) and it was a great walk down memory lane for her. I can tell you that I definitely remember the games more than she does. What she does remember are the locations, the friends, the pool time at the hotels, the long talks about everything that we would have while in transit and most importantly the fun. Fast forward and now she doesn't stress out on missing a training because of class and she even got to work training and rehab around Coachella.

Keep it fun, let them lead the journey with your guidance and support and it will all work itself out. Good luck to you and your player.
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Yeah they aren't "meaningless" in terms of fun and memories, but when our team was playing 8 or 9 tourneys a year, plus league, plus CRL, plus whatever...it would've been nice to have the realization that "hey if we miss this weekend for a family thing it's ok." The pressure that every tourney and every league game and every everything is of the utmost importance was unnecessary and created some weariness. It's been nice with the DA to plan that trip (regardless of the game schedule) or take that vacay and have our coach totally cool with it. To see all the families like that has been nice.
 
That family balance is key. We built a lot of family vacations around tournaments.

Somewhat unfair but I agree. The memories were good. Best tourneys ever were with GOATS.
 
Chalklines said:
Good luck with Coachella. That's a journey your daughter should not be leading you on.

How olds your player? (And yeah.... I get it. You can't keep them away from drugs/sex/alcohol forever)
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19. I am the type to put in the work on the front end so that I don't have to worry about it now. This isn't her first year going and she really deserves it.

Good luck to you and your player.
 
full90 said:
Yeah they aren't "meaningless" in terms of fun and memories, but when our team was playing 8 or 9 tourneys a year, plus league, plus CRL, plus whatever...it would've been nice to have the realization that "hey if we miss this weekend for a family thing it's ok." The pressure that every tourney and every league game and every everything is of the utmost importance was unnecessary and created some weariness. It's been nice with the DA to plan that trip (regardless of the game schedule) or take that vacay and have our coach totally cool with it. To see all the families like that has been nice.
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Hey I agree with you. My player's last year of club soccer she only played in about 25 games give or take. I at first had to convince her that missing some games to travel and relax was okay. Balance is good.

Good luck to you and your player.
 
Zerodenero said:
That right there my friend is key......Like a tree planted in good soil, the roots run deep!
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i agree my man. If you don't trust them to make good choices by the time they are off to school, you have to wonder what you were teaching them the previous 18 years. I have always had an open an honest dialogue with my daughter. When she was little I always believed that I would rather her hear something from us than from her friends or the outside world. At least then we can control the message a little better and give her reasons why we feel the way that we do. She is a budding activist so I feel like we did something right.

I imagine that you will be in the same boat shortly. Good luck to you and your player.
 
Some good posts on this topic. With a recent move to the suburbs of LA from San Diego, and a rather bad concussion thrown in, my DDs decided to both take a break from club soccer. I was not too pleased at first but very quickly realized it needed to be their choice... they missed their friends and that was a big part of the fun for them...now if my younger one changes her mind I won't complain but she's currently enjoying her volleyball crew and excelling there so as long as she's happy. Sure seems a long time since I was "coaching" them in AYSO!

Burnout would only be a concern to me if either there was repeated injuries or they stopped WANTING to play...if this is isn't happening then keep it rolling and enjoy the ride!
 
Deadpoolscores! said:
You must have plenty of money to burn.
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So Deadpool you've been a busy little boy today rating 20 of my posts as Dumb or Old. Maybe if you are a good little boy and play nice you might have some friends other than the keyboard to keep you company on the weekend. Does your mommy know that you've been playing on the internet again?
 
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