3 Months Later, and High School Soccer is Still the Biggest Dick-Riding, Soul-Crushing, Ego-Inflated SHITSTORM of All Time

Soccerfan2 said:
Very worried for us as a human race based on how many people seem to actually believe the OP is a kid 😳

Dale - EPIC!!! 👏🏻
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Eh, he/she makes a lot of good points.... Remember this site is basically a club apologist/justification of existence site...🤬
 
Frank said:
Comes off as pure jealousy. Doesn’t belittle the points, however it may be time to move on and find something that doesn’t drive you this crazy.
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Jealousy? Oh, absolutely. I am foaming at the mouth with envy that I don’t get to be part of the glorious, all-holy High School Soccer™ cult, where coaches act like war generals, and players think they’re Messi because they scored in a JV scrimmage. You got me.

But hey, at least you acknowledge that my points are valid. That’s more self-awareness than most of these clipboard-worshipping, favoritism-ridden, elitist bootlickers will ever have.

As for "moving on"—trust me, I’m already there. I’ve accepted my serf-tier status in the medieval feudal system that is U.S. youth soccer. But before I go, I will burn this entire system to the fucking ground with my words. Because if nobody calls this shit out, it’ll keep churning out more delusional Instagram highlight-reel merchants and power-tripping PE teachers with God complexes.
 
Rollonyoubears said:
Or maybe there are a lot of better players than you and you just didn't make the cut? While very lengthy in nature, still a "it's not fair" tantrum. At least you got it off your chest though.
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Oh, believe me, I fully acknowledge that there are players better than me. I’m not delusional. The problem isn’t losing out to actual talent. It’s losing out to coach’s favorite club kids before tryouts even fucking start.

This isn’t a "boo hoo, I didn’t make the team" tantrum. This is a "holy fuck, high school soccer is a corrupt, elitist shitshow that runs on favoritism, connections, and youth club politics" wake-up call.

And congrats on totally missing the point while pretending you’re the voice of reason. If you think calling out a broken system = whining, then you’d probably tell someone stuck in a rigged casino to just "get better at gambling."
 
Orca10 said:
If OP -is- a kid, I suggest he channel the effort and energy displayed here towards finding a girl.
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Ah yes, the ancient wisdom of the "bro just get a girlfriend" school of problem-solving. My bad, let me just walk up to a girl and say,

"Hey, so I just got absolutely fucked over by the high school soccer selection process, but I channel my rage into extremely detailed, profanity-laced internet rants. Wanna go to Applebee’s?"

Yeah, that’ll work.

But don’t worry, my love life isn’t nearly as tragic as the SoCal high school soccer fuckhole. At least girls don’t require a $3,500 MLS Next pay-to-win subscription to give you a chance.
 
FrankoRunner99 said:
Three months. It’s been three fucking months. Three agonizing, soul-sucking, rage-inducing months of watching this entire high school soccer circlejerk unfold before my very eyes. Three months of glazing, of Varsity dickheads acting like they’re fucking Lamine Yamal, of shithead coaches with EGO PROBLEMS SO SEVERE that they should be studied by mental health professionals.

And now, I’m back with a follow-up rant. Strap the fuck in, boys. I’ve had enough.

THE SCHOOL SOCCER HELLSPIRAL

Ever since tryouts ended and I got cut like I was some peasant in medieval Europe, the nonstop Varsity cock-sucking campaign has been on full blast. I mean, THE GLORY. THE WORSHIP. THE FUCKING ANNOUNCEMENTS.

“COME SUPPORT YOUR VARSITY BOYS TONIGHT! BIG GAME AGAINST WEST COAST FC HIGH SCHOOL!”

“SHOUTOUT TO OUR BOYS FOR THE HUGE 1-0 WIN OVER OUR RIVALS! PURE DOMINANCE!”

“MEGA HYPE VIDEO DROP! LET’S GOOOOOOO!!”


HYPE VIDEO?!??!?!?!?!

I watched that shit. You wanna know what it was?

30 seconds of Varsity fuckboys walking in slow motion onto the field like they’re in a fucking Nike commercial, edited with dramatic trap music, staring at the camera like they’re about to murder somebody. (Bro, it’s HIGH SCHOOL SOCCER. You barely scraped a win against a team of other tryhard club kids.)

And then comes the shameless social media flexing. These fuckers are posting on Instagram like they just won the Champions League.

Selfies with the trophy for “Valley District Tournament Champions.” (District? Fatass, that’s just the surrounding 3 ZIP CODES.)

Videos of their goal celebrations. (Jumping into the crowd after scoring against a JV goalkeeper. Bro, STOP SUCKING YOUR OWN COCK.)

Inspirational dramatic captions like “Just another step closer to the dream ⚽️💯”


THE DREAM?!?!??!

Bro, the only dream you’re chasing is making it to a D3 college team that doesn’t even cover your tuition and doesn't give a shit about you.

Meanwhile, I’m sitting in the back of class, rotting in my AYSO peasant status, while the school treats these guys like they’re the Second Coming of Christ.


THE COACHING STAFF: A STUDY IN PURE, UNHINGED, SOCIOPATHIC PSYCHOSIS

I’m convinced high school soccer coaches are not human. I don’t think they have souls. I'm fucking serious. I think they're a different species. I think they were bred in a lab to be the most condescending, power-tripping, egotistical assholes on the planet.

THE WAY THEY LOOK AT YOU, HOLY SHIT !!!

If you so much as MESS UP ONCE, these military drill sergeants in Nike tracksuits will fucking incinerate you with their gaze. You thought you just missed a pass? No. You just brought dishonor to your entire family. Coach Dickhead McClipboard™ will stand there, throwing his hand up, shaking his head in disgust like you just MURDERED HIS ENTIRE FAMILY.

And if you DARE to show ANY sign of weakness? Oh, you’re done.

You’re out of breath? You're SOFT.

You’re slowing down? You have NO DISCIPLINE. You don't WORK HARD ENOUGH ! You're NOT COMMITTED !!!

You take a sip of water? You're a PUSSY.


And then there’s the legendary post-practice speeches.

“You guys need to WANT IT MORE.”

“This is what it takes to be an ATHLETE.”

"Are you obsessed !?"

"This is not a game. We're on a mission."

“Do you think the greats EVER took a break ?”


YES, COACH. IN FACT, THEY DID. BECAUSE THEY’RE PRO ATHLETES WITH RECOVERY SCHEDULES.

Also, stop acting like YOU’RE one of the greats. You are a PE TEACHER WITH A WHISTLE and a FUCKING CLIPBOARD SURGICALLY FUSED TO YOUR HAND. You are not Pep Guardiola. You are not Mourinho. You are not even close to Erik ten Hag. You are a fat, bald dude with a clipboard and a superiority complex.

And the favoritism? UNMATCHED.

Varsity players? Dapped up. Hugged. Treated like royalty.

Non-Varsity players? They don’t even LOOK at you.

AYSO players? Treated like we have LEPROSY.


THE ABSOLUTE FUCKING NIGHTMARE OF TRYOUTS

Let’s go back to that suffering. Let’s RE-LIVE it.

SUFFERING. SUFFERING. NOTHING BUT SUFFERING.

5 DAYS OF BOOT CAMP-LEVEL TORTURE.

RUNNING UNTIL YOU WANT TO DIE.

DO NOT STOP RUNNING OR YOU WILL BE PUBLICLY EXECUTED BY COACH’S EYEBALLS.

DO NOT ASK FOR WATER OR YOU ARE A MENTALLY WEAK LITTLE BITCH WITH NO DISCIPLINE.

IF YOU CAN’T SPRINT ANYMORE? ENJOY GETTING HUMILIATED IN PUBLIC, PUSSY.


And then, of course, THE BIGGEST BULLSHIT OF ALL.

THE TRYOUTS WERE PRE-DECIDED.

They already knew who they were taking before they even blew the first whistle. If you weren’t a club soccer kid, if you didn’t personally know the coach, if you weren’t already in their little Varsity in-crowd, you were FUCKED.

You could be busting your ass, playing out of your mind, but if Coach Shithead McClipboard™ doesn’t KNOW you, you might as well be INVISIBLE.

And the worst part? The post-tryout list.

They slap that crusty, wrinkled paper on the locker room wall like it’s the fucking Bible, and there’s your confirmation of FAILURE.

Varsity? PRE-CHOSEN GODS.

JV? The better Varsity leftovers.

Fresh/Soph? DOUBLE leftover filler.

The rest of us? DISCARDED LIKE TRASH.


And if you DARE to ask why you got cut?

“It just wasn’t a good fit.”

“We had a lot of talent this year.”

“Keep working, maybe next year.”


FUCK YOU. FUCK ALL OF YOU.


THE DEATH OF THE SPORT

This isn’t just about me. This isn’t just about one team, one school. This shit happens EVERYWHERE.

Tryouts are unfair.

High school soccer is an elitist country club.

The coaches are smug, power-tripping egomaniacs.

The players are insufferable flexing dickbags.


And the worst part? THIS SYSTEM IS KILLING THE GAME.

Kids are quitting soccer. They’re sick of it. Sick of the gatekeeping, sick of the suffering, sick of the fake-ass club affiliations, sick of the soul-destroying bullshit that comes with just trying to PLAY THE FUCKING GAME.

This is why America will NEVER be a true soccer nation. Soccer here is an AFTERTHOUGHT SPORT used as an absolute scam of a business to farm money via the Underground US Youth Soccer Mafia™.

If you don’t have money, connections, and the right last name, you are FUCKED.

Fuck this system. Fuck these coaches. Fuck these pre-determined tryouts. Fuck these Varsity dickriders.

I’ll be at the park, where real soccer still exists.

AYSO 4 LIFE, MOTHERFUCKERS.
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FrankoRunner99 said:
Ah yes, the ancient wisdom of the "bro just get a girlfriend" school of problem-solving. My bad, let me just walk up to a girl and say,

"Hey, so I just got absolutely fucked over by the high school soccer selection process, but I channel my rage into extremely detailed, profanity-laced internet rants. Wanna go to Applebee’s?"

Yeah, that’ll work.
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It might.
 
FrankoRunner99 said:
Oh, believe me, I fully acknowledge that there are players better than me. I’m not delusional. The problem isn’t losing out to actual talent. It’s losing out to coach’s favorite club kids before tryouts even fucking start.

This isn’t a "boo hoo, I didn’t make the team" tantrum. This is a "holy fuck, high school soccer is a corrupt, elitist shitshow that runs on favoritism, connections, and youth club politics" wake-up call.

And congrats on totally missing the point while pretending you’re the voice of reason. If you think calling out a broken system = whining, then you’d probably tell someone stuck in a rigged casino to just "get better at gambling."
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The voice of reason is this: of course the system caters to club kids. Almost all HS coaches that I know are either club coaches or DOCs. Just like tryouts for club, HS tryouts are determined well before they take place. My take is that they are looking for...check that....hoping for a unicorn that randomly circumvents the "club system" and shows up at tryouts.

My friend's son went through this as well trying to make the freshman team at his high school in LA (CA). He didn't, and didn't really even get a look, and he's a good player who can score goals. He played club for a couple years but went back to Rec to enjoy the lesser commitment for a couple years. When I asked his dad what club the freshman team coach was involved with he said he didn't know, but that he knew he did coach a club team. It took only a quick google search by me, someone totally removed from the location, to know which club he should have been playing for leading up to high school. His parents have the means to put him in club though, so take that challenge out of the equation if you will.

You are right, it sucks, but this is a common theme as you progress through life. Complaining will only get you fired.
 
Rollonyoubears said:
The voice of reason is this: of course the system caters to club kids. Almost all HS coaches that I know are either club coaches or DOCs. Just like tryouts for club, HS tryouts are determined well before they take place. My take is that they are looking for...check that....hoping for a unicorn that randomly circumvents the "club system" and shows up at tryouts.

My friend's son went through this as well trying to make the freshman team at his high school in LA (CA). He didn't, and didn't really even get a look, and he's a good player who can score goals. He played club for a couple years but went back to Rec to enjoy the lesser commitment for a couple years. When I asked his dad what club the freshman team coach was involved with he said he didn't know, but that he knew he did coach a club team. It took only a quick google search by me, someone totally removed from the location, to know which club he should have been playing for leading up to high school. His parents have the means to put him in club though, so take that challenge out of the equation if you will.

You are right, it sucks, but this is a common theme as you progress through life. Complaining will only get you fired.
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Yes, and we all most drink the punch too, never complain because life is good, life is kind, and we must never challenge... Just comply... 💩 🤑 🤬
 
Rollonyoubears said:
The voice of reason is this: of course the system caters to club kids. Almost all HS coaches that I know are either club coaches or DOCs. Just like tryouts for club, HS tryouts are determined well before they take place. My take is that they are looking for...check that....hoping for a unicorn that randomly circumvents the "club system" and shows up at tryouts.

My friend's son went through this as well trying to make the freshman team at his high school in LA (CA). He didn't, and didn't really even get a look, and he's a good player who can score goals. He played club for a couple years but went back to Rec to enjoy the lesser commitment for a couple years. When I asked his dad what club the freshman team coach was involved with he said he didn't know, but that he knew he did coach a club team. It took only a quick google search by me, someone totally removed from the location, to know which club he should have been playing for leading up to high school. His parents have the means to put him in club though, so take that challenge out of the equation if you will.

You are right, it sucks, but this is a common theme as you progress through life. Complaining will only get you fired.
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It's like interviewing for a job and it's already been given to an insider. Club HS Coach will always take a club player over a rec player, and I think that is dumb. You should take the best player to help the team win. My dd old HS team was loaded with rec players and we did really good for being a very, very, small school with under 800 enrollments. CIF was not nice to my kid teams the last two years. We had to play D1 with powerhouse Los Al, Edison, CDM, Newport Beach, HB and so many more. The rec players brought heart and soul to our little team. It was so fun to watch. We made CIF her Jr year on a miracle goal. If I was to coach HS Soccer and I was not a club coach, I would not want to know about my players club status or rec for that matter. I'm setting up small sided 5 vs 5 games championship round robins, some 11 v 11 games and me and my assistants are going to pick the best players from those teams that will make our team win. I'm looking for ganas, school pride, passion, hard work and great teammate. I will ask the players I pick if they play club, rec or just one hell of an athlete that can play multiple sports like Bo. I went to HS with a stud that played football, basketball and then volleyball. All CIF Player of the Year. He played no club, just high school sports.
 
crush said:
It's like interviewing for a job and it's already been given to an insider. Club HS Coach will always take a club player over a rec player, and I think that is dumb. You should take the best player to help the team win. My dd old HS team was loaded with rec players and we did really good for being a very, very, small school with under 800 enrollments. CIF was not nice to my kid teams the last two years. We had to play D1 with powerhouse Los Al, Edison, CDM, Newport Beach, HB and so many more. The rec players brought heart and soul to our little team. It was so fun to watch. We made CIF her Jr year on a miracle goal. If I was to coach HS Soccer and I was not a club coach, I would not want to know about my players club status or rec for that matter. I'm setting up small sided 5 vs 5 games championship round robins, some 11 v 11 games and me and my assistants are going to pick the best players from those teams that will make our team win. I'm looking for ganas, school pride, passion, hard work and great teammate. I will ask the players I pick if they play club, rec or just one hell of an athlete that can play multiple sports like Bo. I went to HS with a stud that played football, basketball and then volleyball. All CIF Player of the Year. He played no club, just high school sports.
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the problem is the technical spread between a club player (let alone an ecnl player or mls player avoiding the ban) and a rec player now days is huge. Much more so than when we were growing up. This is because the game has evolved technically so much. If you have a decent trained goalkeeper in high school (even a flight 2 boy) it’s going to be impossible to score just by shooting it directly into the goal. To get on the board you either have to cut back, get a 1v1, get a banger or catch the keeper out, get a cross to a header or short range shot, get a pk or a dfk worldie, get a short breakaway etc. a few examples:
-every year my sons first club bronze team would scrimmage the local ayso all stars at u10/u11/12. The regularly beat them by double digits even though this team couldn’t advance out of bronze any of the years he was there (always 3rd or 4th)
-this one time the champion state ayso u10 team put themselves into the u11 bronze league because CSL wouldn’t let them start silver and they thought bronze in their age would be a joke. They lost every game in league most by double digits and dropped out halfway
-my sons Latino league team has three club players. He is the only letter leaguer. These kids are ballers and have been playing the game since they were little. A few were invited to a Mexican club scout. There is one team made up of ringers of about 8 club players including ecnl and ea. kiddo regular get beats by this ringers team 3 or 4 to something because they can execute a cutback that gets around my kid
-kiddos varsity team has only 4 letter leaguers and the starters range to flight 2ers. The school is small so they have a couple of seniors that make varsity being only rec or lower level club or former club (even they have no just athletes in varsity). They lost 6-0 against the no 4 SoCal team which has mostly letter leaguers on it, again because that team can execute the cutback and other movements.
 
Slobodan said:
All most? Now I see why grandma limits your AOL minutes.
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Slobodan don't be a hero, don't be fool with your life... Slobo' don't be a hero don't be a fool with your life....
Slobo' don't be a hero "Come back and make Sarah McBride your wife"
And as Slobo' started to go she said "Keep your pretty head low".....
 
JeterwastheBEST said:
Slobodan don't be a hero, don't be fool with your life... Slobo' don't be a hero don't be a fool with your life....
Slobo' don't be a hero "Come back and make Sarah McBride your wife"
And as Slobo' started to go she said "Keep your pretty head low".....
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Have another wine cooler, schmuck.
 
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