Thank you. We realized it a few years ago. I must admit the hard part was getting out of the "big name only" mind state and changed it to the right name mind state. I knew it after my girl aged up top flight and performed well. Came back to her age group the next season and the coach treated her poorly. I'm amazed he never told an 10 year old he was proud of her courage and desire to challenge herself. Knew right then this is all a business.
Now we act like our kids agents for soccer and not their parents. We scout teams that fit their goals, desires and needs to develop and that we can accommodate (including driving 1.5-2 hrs one way). They go and work on the field and communicate with their coaches like pros do. We oversee and stamp the big decisions and counsel them on how their careers are going. Each has a situation tailored for them and we gave up the dream of one club for one family.
I really don't think most people could do what we do because having two separate relationship situations with your children is so unconventional. We do what works for us. In fact this is what saved my relationship with my daughter.
I know this sounds personal, but I put it out there because I meet and speak to a lot of parents on the fields facing the same choices. What the DA system has taught me is these coaches want as little contact with us crazy parents as possible and us crazy parents have a hard time dealing with that. They want a coach/player relationship and guess what - so do our kids. It's a lot easier to handle when you know the coach is doing his/her job.
