Doubt I need to say this, but I am a biased keeper dad. To this topic, the GK is one position that can do a lot individually, but for more than half the stuff they still need a team that gets it. Generally girls won't listen to the keeper until past G12. Then G15 seems most do. A girls directing keeper is often seen as bossy. DD playing with guys had less of an issue than playing with girls. Coaches can be worse and many coaches do not want to give up control to those best equip to handle it. Even in college many coaches prefer the keeper boots the ball than plays out of the back. Many college coaches want the keeper on the line rather than deciding when to push up the defense. And HS coaches will set the wall and tell defenders where to be. I posted DD got so tired of her HS coach telling the defenders where to be and her how to play - she quite (after the season).
I guess my point is if it bothers you now, get ready for 10 more years of it.