Alright, let’s deal with this one, because this is peak dumb-fuck internet energy.
Some MAGA dullard DMs me with, “You should shut your mouth about America and Donald Trump. You’re just a dumb Aussie. Without America you’re nothing. We protect you.”
Oh yeah? Do ya, champ? Do ya really?
First of all, calm down there, Captain Freedom. You’re acting like America personally stands outside everyone’s house every night with a rifle and a bald eagle, going, “Sleep tight world, Daddy’s here.”
Let’s get one thing straight. America is not the sole maker and breaker of global peace. That’s Hollywood bullshit you grew up mainlining with your popcorn.
NATO alone, NATO, meaning a bunch of countries who can actually organise a meeting without screaming at each other like toddlers, absolutely dwarfs the American military. Not just in manpower, but in combined capability, logistics, intelligence, tech, and industrial output. America is a big piece of the puzzle, sure, but it’s not the whole bloody table.
Now let’s spice it up.
Add Japan. One of the most technologically advanced militaries on the planet. Add South Korea. Add Australia. Add New Zealand. Add Taiwan, who’ve been staring down a giant authoritarian neighbour for decades without shitting themselves. Add half of Europe. Suddenly this idea that “without America you’re nothing” starts to look like something written on the back of a Monster Energy can.
Here’s the part that really seems to fry your circuits.
The world is waking up. Rapidly. Not because of Aussies mouthing off, but because the Trump administration showed everyone exactly how unstable relying on one country can be. Allies get threatened. Trade deals get torched. Tariffs fly around like drunken punches. Longstanding partnerships get treated like optional subscriptions.
So now everyone’s going, “You know what? Maybe we shouldn’t put all our chips on one bloke who changes his mind every four hours.”
And guess what? The deck chairs are already moving.
China’s been actively decoupling from reliance on the US market. Europe’s doing the same. Supply chains are being rerouted. New trade blocs are forming. America didn’t get “abandoned”. America did this to itself by swinging at everyone in the room and then acting shocked when people step back.
And here’s the real kicker, the bit no one waving a flag likes to talk about.
The United States is sitting on the highest debt levels in the history of mankind. Not American history. Human history. A house of cards stacked so high it makes a Jenga tower look stable. Trillions in interest. Trillions more in borrowing. All while screaming at the very countries that buy its bonds, prop up its currency, and keep the whole thing from tipping over.
So when you say, “Without America, you’re nothing,” maybe take a breath and flip that sentence around.
Because at the end of the day, the only fucking thing holding the United States together right now is the rest of the world it’s busy picking fights with.
Careful what you wish for, mate.
You don’t get to threaten everyone, insult everyone, destabilise everything, and then assume they’ll just keep turning up forever explaining how grateful they are.
That’s not strength. That’s delusion. If Mango Mussolini keeps pushing the globes buttons pretty soon it'll push back.
