What are some of the craziest things a coach/DOC has said to you or your kids when they found out you're switching clubs?

watfly said:
I generally agree with this. Unfortunately, most coaches and DOC's don't realize or ignore the fact that they are in the customer service business. They believe parents are a nuisance. I can appreciate that they just want to coach kids without parental interference, but ultimately the customer is the parent (because they're paying for the service) and the child is the beneficiary and not the customer. I think the coaches could help themselves out a lot by being more proactive communicators, as opposed to reactive (if they even communicate to parents at all). In many cases, I think that's all parents want. How many coaches have you had that have provided player evaluations? Best case is a coach may provide an evaluation at year end which is relatively worthless compared to a mid-season review. Of course, you will always have those nightmare parents that can make everyone's life miserable.
Click to expand...
The best coach my dd ever had regarding transparency was Tad Bobak. Tad did it right man. He used a scoring system and evaluated the players based on what he saw, and not what daddy thinks he saw or what mama bear thinks or the TM or the board or US Soccer. One year contract that coach and player and parent would agree to. One rule was not yelling at the refs. Oh my, I failed that rule early on and he was patient with me. I NEVER SAW HIM YELL AT ANYONE. Always told the truth. He would have a tryout for all returning players after the State Cup. New players that he wanted were given a spot for next season, no tryouts for them because he was watching them all the time. He scored all the top 04s. He did recruit the first ever U15 YNT and started ODP. He's the founder, FYI. Small roster so all play. No one ride's the pine. You will get your chance. How can coach evaluate if the player is on the bench? Playoffs, now he's going to show you who he thinks will help him and the team win. That is when you will know where you stand. This is also when parents get pissed off and see the writing on the wall from the master. "He doesn;t develop players." "He teaches kickball." "He recruits our best players and that's why he wins." He's ___________________ this and that and is a weirdo and watches other players and doesn't develop his own players." The problem with all this? He knows girls quit soccer for many reasons and dad does not. Their body changes. Boys are chasing them. A smart coach will always look for new players each year and will look to cut players and their parents. No players allowed to join the team during the season from another team. Recruits can come play Sunday Scrimmages. Now that made the other Docs pissed off. I swear another parent snitched on me and I got cornerred at practice with the, "I hear you went to the Blues Sunday Scrimmage. Is that true?" I always told the truth. Tad was at all her games letting her know he would love to have her. I appreciated that and he worked hard to have the best team in the State. He was secure because he was honest. The club does not own you and your allowed to guess play he says as well. He thought it was good for the girls to play soccer matches. He just asked you let him know and it did not interfere with the team. I love that man. The real deal. TY again Tad for being honest. do not have to tryout. I think this was fair. Too many people wanted promises of a college deal, ODP, YTN and
 
Last edited:
I can only speak for the youngers (7v7)

but the majority of the problems center around playing time

Coaches should give you an idea on their philosophy around playing time before the season starts , and if they don’t thats kinda a red flag, but PARENTS ask before you register

I personally believe at youngers that there is no game so important that you can’t guarantee every player at least x amount of time every game
 
Clubs should employ a committee that parents speak with reguarding issues vs going directly to the coaches. The committee would then raise issues to the coaches.

This would seperate coaches from parents allowing them to focus on the players only.

It would also create a defined + documented communication process for parents and clubs.

Problem is nobody would ever do this because if they did how would all the palms get greased?

Soccer's solutions are out there / available. The problem is that theres to many people benefiting from things being broken.
 
Brav520 said:
I can only speak for the youngers (7v7)

but the majority of the problems center around playing time

Coaches should give you an idea on their philosophy around playing time before the season starts , and if they don’t thats kinda a red flag, but PARENTS ask before you register

I personally believe at youngers that there is no game so important that you can’t guarantee every player at least x amount of time every game
Click to expand...
Every kid at that age needs to be playing at least half the game. It's like their being groomed to beg for play time. Seriously, every one who pays to play should have their kid play at least half. I had one Doc say it's important for little teen girls to learn how to ride the pine and then work their ass off and beg for time on the field.
 
Brav520 said:
Coaches should give you an idea on their philosophy around playing time before the season starts , and if they don’t thats kinda a red flag, but PARENTS ask before you register
Click to expand...
That's a good place to start, just take what they say with a huge grain of salt. Not many coaches are going to say that the "best players are going to start and play the majority of minutes even if they miss practice", which is often times the reality. Coaches need to be more honest and parents need to be more realistic about their children's abilities.

Part of the problem is that coaches are forced by the Club to roster so many players. With the dilution of soccer (particularly at the higher levels) a coach may have 13 players that he is comfortable with but is required to take another 5. This may sound harsh, but just because your kid made the team doesn't mean they earned that spot. Some kids are just roster fill.
 
watfly said:
That's a good place to start, just take what they say with a huge grain of salt. Not many coaches are going to say that the "best players are going to start and play the majority of minutes even if they miss practice", which is often times the reality. Coaches need to be more honest and parents need to be more realistic about their children's abilities.

Part of the problem is that coaches are forced by the Club to roster so many players. With the dilution of soccer (particularly at the higher levels) a coach may have 13 players that he is comfortable with but is required to take another 5. This may sound harsh, but just because your kid made the team doesn't mean they earned that spot. Some kids are just roster fill.
Click to expand...
Pools of 40 girls thrown into the pool to figure out how to swim things out is insane. No more team because boys play soccer differently then girls. Yes, some girls move at 13 and go pro. Most girls want to have social life. I say no more then 16 on a competitive team that parents pay over $10K a year to watch. No one wants to pay $10k and watch their kid sit on the bench. That sucks apples!!!! I've been on both sides so I know the feeling of a coach who is honest and coach who lies and play head trips with young girls.
 
Last edited:
We’ve moved our daughter a few times over the years from different clubs, and it’s always been fine between us and the coaches, until our last move. We did all the things we’d done before- called him and explained our reasoning, told him upfront we wanted him to hear it from us first, etc. etc. THOUGHT everything was ok on his end as he wished us well and scheduled a time when our daughter could come and have a last hurrah with the team. After a day or so, we learned he changed plans on her and she was no longer invited to the event so she could say goodby to her teammates. Fast forward a year when we saw him on the sidelines at one of her games… not coaching the other team…. just there to watch. He walked over near where we were sitting, stood 10 yards away from us and ignored us the entire game. There were literally no other people around us so it was obvious he was trying to make some kind of point. Whatever… He’s been to a handlful of her games in the last few years and he finally grew up and spoke to our daughter, but still ignores us. So petty.
 
I have a daughter on Legends 04 team with 20 players which is the max I would allow as a parent and something I've always asked about. I don't believe any older team should have more than 20 players due to play time. With 20 players almost all of the girls get good play time, especially with injuries and summer heat. I'm baffled why parents put their kids on some of the ECNL teams with 27 girls (like the Strikers 04 team) or more and then complain about not getting play time. Here's a hint. Don't put your kids on a team with 27 players because she/he probably isn't going to play. A little common sense goes a long way. For younger teams you know the magic number for which your kid won't play because there's just too many players. Clubs need to make money, I understand, but not on the back of my kid. There are many good ECNL clubs that respect my 20 person rule like So cal Blues and Legends. You just have to find them.
 
soccer dude said:
I have a daughter on Legends 04 team with 20 players which is the max I would allow as a parent and something I've always asked about. I don't believe any older team should have more than 20 players due to play time. With 20 players almost all of the girls get good play time, especially with injuries and summer heat. I'm baffled why parents put their kids on some of the ECNL teams with 27 girls (like the Strikers 04 team) or more and then complain about not getting play time. Here's a hint. Don't put your kids on a team with 27 players because she/he probably isn't going to play. A little common sense goes a long way. For younger teams you know the magic number for which your kid won't play because there's just too many players. Clubs need to make money, I understand, but not on the back of my kid. There are many good ECNL clubs that respect my 20 person rule like So cal Blues and Legends. You just have to find them.
Click to expand...
The whole thing is a mess for all the clubs bro. 20 is 4 too many, moo. My dd is on Strikers 04 and we dont have 27 players on the team, with 9 sitting and watching each week. I have a friend whose dd is on the Regional team. Two teams of players that are on those two teams always and then you have players who play either ECNL or ECNRL, depending on the match up and injuries. Not that bad. I dont like taking all 40 and picking a new team each week. Good stuff though and hopefully fix it so teams just have 16 core players.
 
Last edited:
Socal-Soccer-Dad said:
It's the end of the season. Also try out season.

And undoubtedly a few of your kids (maybe many of them?) are moving clubs soon.

What are some of the craziest things a coach/DOC has said to you or your kids when they found out you're switching clubs?

We haven't experienced this personally but from friends and family who have moved clubs in the past, we've heard some crazy things.
  • Your kid sucks. No team is going to want you.
  • This team is the best your kid can do. Where will you go?
  • You're just going to ride the bench at your next club.
  • Don't ever even think about coming back to this club.
  • I know people. I'm going to make sure you don't get what you want.
If a coach said some of this to my kid, I might be arrested... based on what I'll do next. It's so malicious what some of them as grown men and women will say to a child. What the heck is wrong with these people?
Click to expand...
Nothing said..but when my 05 daughter left her first club, the owner/DOC blocked her and me on Instagram. He still has us blocked over 4 years later. hahahahaha Kid was 13..and the coach was 47 at the time.
 
Ellejustus said:
The whole thing is a mess for all the clubs bro. 20 is 4 too many, moo. My dd is on Strikers 04 and we dont have 27 players on the team, with 9 sitting and watching each week. I have a friend whose dd is on the Regional team. Two teams of players that are on those two teams always and then you have players who play either ECNL or ECNRL, depending on the match up and injuries. Not that bad. I dont like taking all 40 and picking a new team each week. Good stuff though and hopefully fix it so teams just have 16 core players.
Click to expand...
I would love 16 core players but I don't think a "good" 04 team exists with 16 core players. All of the Southwest ECNL teams have around 22 players with Legends/Blues at 20. Maybe some local startup clubs have 16 but I guarantee they're trying to add more. Our 04 team had 16 players for half of last year and many games were played with 1 sub and girls really suffered in the heat, trying to play 90 mins. No one was complaining about play time though, which was a great perk.
 
soccer dude said:
I would love 16 core players but I don't think a "good" 04 team exists with 16 core players. All of the Southwest ECNL teams have around 22 players with Legends/Blues at 20. Maybe some local startup clubs have 16 but I guarantee they're trying to add more. Our 04 team had 16 players for half of last year and many games were played with 1 sub and girls really suffered in the heat, trying to play 90 mins. No one was complaining about play time though, which was a great perk.
Click to expand...
I agree with the older U18/19 age. I was talking more like U16 and under and truly playing for a real Natty. I should have been clearer. Not a fan of this age at all. Even U17 was getting less competitive and more trying to get kids into college.
 
Yousername said:
We’ve moved our daughter a few times over the years from different clubs, and it’s always been fine between us and the coaches, until our last move. We did all the things we’d done before- called him and explained our reasoning, told him upfront we wanted him to hear it from us first, etc. etc. THOUGHT everything was ok on his end as he wished us well and scheduled a time when our daughter could come and have a last hurrah with the team. After a day or so, we learned he changed plans on her and she was no longer invited to the event so she could say goodby to her teammates. Fast forward a year when we saw him on the sidelines at one of her games… not coaching the other team…. just there to watch. He walked over near where we were sitting, stood 10 yards away from us and ignored us the entire game. There were literally no other people around us so it was obvious he was trying to make some kind of point. Whatever… He’s been to a handlful of her games in the last few years and he finally grew up and spoke to our daughter, but still ignores us. So petty.
Click to expand...
How about telling a crying little girl she can’t come to a team party to say goodbye to her teammates because she was changing clubs? How about all the parents cheerily wildly when the ball was tackled from a player during a game because they were still pissed that the player left their team. How about the coach calling the new coach and telling vile lies about your family . How about the DOC telling you what you could and couldn’t do with your own daughter because he was in charge and had the power and being a parent meant nothing to him.
 
Soccer43 said:
How about telling a crying little girl she can’t come to a team party to say goodbye to her teammates because she was changing clubs? How about all the parents cheerily wildly when the ball was tackled from a player during a game because they were still pissed that the player left their team. How about the coach calling the new coach and telling vile lies about your family . How about the DOC telling you what you could and couldn’t do with your own daughter because he was in charge and had the power and being a parent meant nothing to him.
Click to expand...
Sad to hear that story 43. Breaks my heart, but that is all too common in certain circles of life. I hope all is getting better bro. It still amazes me when you join a new soccer family, how the family love you so much and welcomes you with open arms. Parties, BFFs, free dinners, free handouts, free love ((as long as you stay on the team and never leave the cult)), sleep overs and bonding times. However, If you go up to the High Priest ((Doc)) and be honest, open and transparent and say, "Hey Doc, were moving and playing HSS bro and won;t be doing GDA next season because they have a mandate that says "no high school soccer allowed. The world is watching the coaches say and because the world watching, we can;t allow our players to play awful high school soccer. Thanks for everything Doc and good luck next season." 43, guess what came out of the Docs pie hole next?
First off, I should have kept my big mouth shut. I'm just too open and I like to poke with questions as I look into their eyes. The whole family found out and when the whole family finds out that one of their top players is bailing on the family, well it becomes a family emergency, because you don;t want others, who to want to leave the family as well, to be influenced by one of the captains and big time influencer.
 
Last edited:
Yousername said:
We’ve moved our daughter a few times over the years from different clubs, and it’s always been fine between us and the coaches, until our last move. We did all the things we’d done before- called him and explained our reasoning, told him upfront we wanted him to hear it from us first, etc. etc. THOUGHT everything was ok on his end as he wished us well and scheduled a time when our daughter could come and have a last hurrah with the team. After a day or so, we learned he changed plans on her and she was no longer invited to the event so she could say goodby to her teammates. Fast forward a year when we saw him on the sidelines at one of her games… not coaching the other team…. just there to watch. He walked over near where we were sitting, stood 10 yards away from us and ignored us the entire game. There were literally no other people around us so it was obvious he was trying to make some kind of point. Whatever… He’s been to a handlful of her games in the last few years and he finally grew up and spoke to our daughter, but still ignores us. So petty.
Click to expand...

You're telling me you were 10 feet away from your daughter's former soccer coach for an entire game and didn't even bother to say hi? You're angry and bitter he didn't do the exact thing that you didn't do either? In fact, the only one we know for sure knew the other person was there was you. Wow, you are really lacking in self-awareness.
 
Socal-Soccer-Dad said:
It's the end of the season. Also try out season.

And undoubtedly a few of your kids (maybe many of them?) are moving clubs soon.

What are some of the craziest things a coach/DOC has said to you or your kids when they found out you're switching clubs?

We haven't experienced this personally but from friends and family who have moved clubs in the past, we've heard some crazy things.
  • Your kid sucks. No team is going to want you.
  • This team is the best your kid can do. Where will you go?
  • You're just going to ride the bench at your next club.
  • Don't ever even think about coming back to this club.
  • I know people. I'm going to make sure you don't get what you want.
If a coach said some of this to my kid, I might be arrested... based on what I'll do next. It's so malicious what some of them as grown men and women will say to a child. What the heck is wrong with these people?
Click to expand...
It’s a mistake. Your kid cannot develop anywhere else from here.
 
Ellejustus said:
Yes, for those on the outside and never been attacked and threaten to STFU or else no ride for your dd, is entertaining for many. I'm glad my family can provide gr8t entertainment. As you eat your popcorn, just realize with each cornel that their was deep and emotional pain to dads & kids who dare ask a few questions.
Click to expand...

i think the caustic comments happen, there are a good number of coaches who's egos seem to be their prime focus. however, i think they're rather rare, thankfully. i am happy it's never happened to my daughter. then again, she has only switched her club once previously, with little fanfare or discussion. her current team/coach is switching clubs at the end of this season, thus there was nothing to explain as to her individually. we've had a number of girls go their own way over previous years and nothing was said other than best of luck. glad we've remained unscathed.
 
geez, did this coach also do dorky tiktok videos with his pals ? what sophomoric tripe.

Mr. Mac said:
Nothing said..but when my 05 daughter left her first club, the owner/DOC blocked her and me on Instagram. He still has us blocked over 4 years later. hahahahaha Kid was 13..and the coach was 47 at the time.
Click to expand...
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top