No, dad coach brings back triggers that I put behind me.
Great weekend of soccer!
- Thread starter MicPaPa
- Start date
Glitterhater
SILVER ELITE
Yes to all of the above- and good luck to yours as well! Gonna be a great weekend with great weather.
oh canada
GOLD
show me a kid that craves "real" competition after a year of nothing and i'll show you a parent 9x out of 10 who is force-feeding that faux motivational nonsense into their brains
You may find it hard to believe due to your cynicism, but some kids are self motivated to compete. Also for most kids its not going from nothing to real competition. Most teams have been practicing since June with many scrimmaging, they deserve to play games for the effort they've put in. Try asking a kid whether they would go to practice or play a meaningful game. You know what their answer will be without any influence from the parents. A weekend game is the reward for a week of practice. Personally, I'd prefer my son's team to get a few quality scrimmages in before returning to real games, but I have no problem with a rushed return to normal. It's been delayed way too long already, but its not about my or other parents ego, its about what is best for many kids mental health.
Put your post to the test. Drive to O'side and stand outside by the front entrance asking every kid who walks in if they want to play a competitive game or any game right now.
Chelsea dad g09
SILVER
My daughter was wanting real games after the first 2 weeks off. For every parent shoving crap down kids throats, there is a kid who actually wants to play hard and compete not just do passing drills.
There may be some truth to your statement for ULittles, but once these kids hit their teens, their drive is their own.
And, all parents could have an exit question. Did you like watching your child play today?
I bet $$ that most u-little parents said something like this to their players in the car ride home: why didn’t you get past that player? Or why did you kick it wide instead of score? Or why didn’t you just keep it and try to score? ...If I’m wrong, I apologize for it.
Maybe not most, but too many.
Your not wrong. Yet, that discussion is a different topic.
met61
GOLD
TRANSLATION: " I'm a shitty parent"
and person
oh canada
GOLD
When my kids play in a "scrimmage" against another team, they are playing just as hard as if it was a "real" game and focused on making themselves better. They also realize that playing time, positions, subs, lack of refs, etc. might affect the outcome but at this point after being off for a year, they don't care about scores and standings. Every kid wants to win every game they play, of course--chess, soccer or minecraft. But if they lack motivation to do their best in a scrimmage because it's not a "real" game then they're outcome driven and likely got that from their parent(s).
fantasyfutbol
SILVER
Is it okay for a kid to try to win a spelling bee or a robotics competition? Is this just a sports bias? Is it possible people have to project their child's lack of motivation by deciding that all kids that are competitive on the field are molded to try to win by parenting?
Kid: "Parent, can you help me practice my spelling bee words? I want to advance to the next round"
Parent:
'Look Frida, I don't want to force feed nonsense into your brain. There is no way you are competitive on your own. Stop being so competitive. "
Stop projecting. Kids come in all shapes, sizes, drives and ability. You should try AYSO if all this competitiveness bothers you.
While her team has been scrimmaging and even managed to get in a few league games, during this past year my DD's favorite are her random Sunday pickup games
Fair enough.
notintheface
GOLD
Intra-club scrimmages should have one ref who is known to both coaches, eg friend/family with a certificate, or another coach, etc. Both coaches have the ability to pause the match at any time, leave the touchline for a teaching moment, and restart safely. Line judges should be irrelevant -- if you're close, you're onside, and everyone must call for the throw-in. Gets players talking and pressing their case to the ref, which is a valuable skill to have. Prior to the scrimmage both teams, coaches, and ref agree upon an allowed level of contact-- in general, light bumping is fine but even heavy shoulder-to-shoulder should get you whistled, no going to ground, and contact from behind is extremely frowned upon.
notintheface
GOLD
It is fine and good for a child to want to win a game. That is absolutely natural. Being a good parent here means telling your child that you will not win every game, and telling your child that it is how you compose yourself not only when you lose but also when you win, that sets you apart and will set you up for much more success at a later age. I cannot tell you how many 10 year old phenoms I have seen completely drop the game at 14 because their parents only conditioned them for 9-0 victories as a little, and they got burned out as soon as they started getting 1-1 draws as a teen.
90% of their work rate is done in practice where they win and lose all the time. You don't get hyped up about them winning a take-on in practice; you should similarly not get hyped up about them winning a take-on in a match.