Parents and player character

GoldenFjord said:
Someone mentioned draconian rules so let’s go with that
If the underhanded behavior hurts the team the player should be hobbled. If it just annoys the coach they should just be mercilessly made fun of by grown adults on a soccer forum.
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Like it..... Will there be some sort of lynching too?

Why are we even discussing this nonsense - BFD.

If coach doesn't like it, cut the kid and the family. I won't be the first and definitely the last. If player wants to do GK training with dad, go to a team where the coach encourages such a thing (I don't know of any but who knows....)

None of this has anything to do with the character of people involved. Its just kids' soccer and its a matter of convenience and lack of trust by the dad, that the coach is not doing his kid right. Nothing more.

Frankly, I pity the U14 kid who's forced to do keeper training with dear ol' dad. Even if the dad was world class GK in his prime, the kid will get more from a coach who is not a parent. While there are always exceptions, generally not the rule....
 
Fact said:
.....Soccer should be about development. And for
90+ percent that won't play in college, that development is Development of the person's character. Wait I take it back don't cut them, bench them. More powerful of a message.
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Don't mean to nit pick but soccer is about playing the game. And its more like 99% that won't play in college. Ten percent would be a huge number of players in this country (roughly there are 3 million kids playing soccer in US and that would mean that 300,000 players in college soccer - NOT).

Why bench the kid and hurt the rest of the team? He's the GK. If they have only 1 keeper, make the team lose games without a GK.... I realize its unintended consequences but its one of those that require more situational awareness before giving an advise such as that.
 
mirage said:
Don't mean to nit pick but soccer is about playing the game. And its more like 99% that won't play in college. Ten percent would be a huge number of players in this country (roughly there are 3 million kids playing soccer in US and that would mean that 300,000 players in college soccer - NOT).

Why bench the kid and hurt the rest of the team? He's the GK. If they have only 1 keeper, make the team lose games without a GK.... I realize its unintended consequences but its one of those that require more situational awareness before giving an advise such as that.
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Bench him in an attempt to get him to change his behavior. Kick him off the team because he refuses to come to practice and lies to the coach about it.

Seems simple enough to me.
 
Nefutous said:
Seems like most comments think the kid should not be penalized in this situation. So let's take it one step further. Team is having a scrimmage in preparation for State Cup on a Saturday. Three weeks notice has been given that extra practices will take place on Saturdays in preparing for State Cup. Kid says they cannot make it and it turns out that the kid is watching soccer games at another club. As the coach do you say and do nothing, say nothing but bench kid for State Cup or kick kid off team now? Assume same age as above. I am just wondering where everyone would draw the line.
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On the one hand that is absolute bench-worthy behavior, on the other hand you need her on the field if you want to get out of the brackets. I’m a firm believer that behavior excused is behavior rewarded but here a moral victory will come at the cost of the game.
End of the day you have to look at the team and decide for yourself. I think a BM belongs in the toilet and not the field but that’s just me.
 
GoldenFjord said:
On the one hand that is absolute bench-worthy behavior, on the other hand you need her on the field if you want to get out of the brackets. I’m a firm believer that behavior excused is behavior rewarded but here a moral victory will come at the cost of the game.
End of the day you have to look at the team and decide for yourself. I think a BM belongs in the toilet and not the field but that’s just me.
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Your post made me think of the last game of Men's World Cup Qualifying. The US team's best available central defender was sitting on the bench for the last two games due to a spat with Arena. I guess Arena proved his point?
 
mirage said:
Frankly, I pity the U14 kid who's forced to do keeper training with dear ol' dad. Even if the dad was world class GK in his prime, the kid will get more from a coach who is not a parent. While there are always exceptions, generally not the rule....
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Amen to this. I used to train my son in GK back in AYSO and EXTRAs...eventually he outgrew my ability to teach him with my middle school skills once he hit club. GK coaches see little things and little corrections which I just can't see with my eye and level of training.

But the secret too is I hated to do it....he doesn't listen to me like other coaches and its a constant fight with a kid who otherwise would dying to go out and play/practice. I finally just swallowed it and decided to pay for PT (when he asks for it and we have the cash) from a GK trainer. He'll still ask me from time to time to go work out for him...I'll secretly cringe and try not to.

Though to be fair to the dad...the vast majority of team coaches out there really don't know what they are doing with the goalkeeper either.
 
On a lighter note I am quite glad to see the gang all reunited seeing as you guys know this much, shame the story you got had so much of it edited out.
 
soloyosh said:
Your post made me think of the last game of Men's World Cup Qualifying. The US team's best available central defender was sitting on the bench for the last two games due to a spat with Arena. I guess Arena proved his point?
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To claim that a 13 year old kid and his parents repeatedly lying to the coach and refusing to attend team practice is analogous to the MNT coach benching the "best" defender over a "spat" (presumably leading the team to not qualify for WC), is really stupid.
 
coachrefparent said:
To claim that a 13 year old kid and his parents repeatedly lying to the coach and refusing to attend team practice is analogous to the MNT coach benching the "best" defender over a "spat" (presumably leading the team to not qualify for WC), is really stupid.
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Didn't say "best defender," I said "best available defender."

It was in response to the "do you bench a problem player that is your best keeper in a state cup game" scenario.

Basically, if the coach has a problem with a player, do you bench them and potentially cost the team in a big tournament?
 
GoldenFjord said:
On the one hand that is absolute bench-worthy behavior, on the other hand you need her on the field if you want to get out of the brackets. I’m a firm believer that behavior excused is behavior rewarded but here a moral victory will come at the cost of the game.
End of the day you have to look at the team and decide for yourself. I think a BM belongs in the toilet and not the field but that’s just me.
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You are fecally fixated
 
Reading the post again it feels like the coach did the right thing. It also seems like the parent was not impressed with the training received by the coach.
As a parent sometimes you need to do what you think is best for your child. Goalies get minimal training with the team. There's commitment to the team but it feels like the parent was getting ready to take the kid somewhere else.
 
What should a coach do to a player if, he finds out that a player is training 1 day a week with another team on a scheduled practice day with his current team that is preparing for State Cup?
 
Red Devil Fan said:
What should a coach do to a player if, he finds out that a player is training 1 day a week with another team on a scheduled practice day with his current team that is preparing for State Cup?
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Bench him if he is a starter. If the kid is a bench player. The coach shouldn't be too upset. Clearly the coach doesn't view the player as a starter.

state cup should be played in December. That will take care of all of the end of year drama between kids looking around.
 
SoccerFan4Life said:
Bench him if he is a starter. If the kid is a bench player. The coach shouldn't be too upset. Clearly the coach doesn't view the player as a starter.

state cup should be played in December. That will take care of all of the end of year drama between kids looking around.
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Agree with the first paragraph. Disagree with the second. A lot of people on this board talk about how moving up State Cup would solve all these problems. No it would not solve anything. All this BS would just be advanced a couple of months.
 
Monkey said:
Agree with the first paragraph. Disagree with the second. A lot of people on this board talk about how moving up State Cup would solve all these problems. No it would not solve anything. All this BS would just be advanced a couple of months.
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Possibly, but the fact that the players and teams would have much less free time on their hands, still playing in league, could reduce the amount of BS meaningfully.
 
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