Dude Abides, not sure if you are a parent or a coach in your club (if you previously stated, I missed it) but I think that you are missing a very important piece of the puzzle. The USSF has done a great job of marketing itself to further its intentions and needs. Without the DA, the growth in the pay to play system effectively collapses. Not the system itself. As mentioned by many on this and other boards, there is no shortage of parents in this country willing to shell out 50k per child for little or no FINANCIAL return in the form of any type of scholarship. In fact, when loss of academic scholarships due to lower GPAs because of the heavy practice schedule, other than the dot com collapse, not sure that I have seen a worse investment. Having said that, the system works. The overwhelming majority of kids pay to play, which in turn provides a circuit for the deserving kids to play and earn their scholarships. Everybody wins. The kids that should get scholarships, get them, the parents who live out their fantasies through their kids, funds the program and allows youth soccer to continue to grow until it becomes self sustaining in about 40-50 years. We need a couple of generations to grow up playing and in turn, start coaching and teaching the community kids (similar to what you see in our own Mexican leagues) which, along with the growth from top down, will push out the middle men hustlers who make their living screaming at our children to kick the ball up the field. The good coaches will get absorbed into the system and the hustlers go back to flipping burgers.
To circle back around to your point, the differences between the two academies is quite irrelevant since they both serve completely different purposes. European Academies look to develop talent to play professionally while the American DA looks to prepare kids for college and turn a tidy profit. I understand that their "Stated" objective is otherwise but you already know different. In other words, selling the sizzle and not the steak.
Again, the reason you see more and more agencies and scouts popping up around the country facilitating the transfer of our prospects to academies outside of the US is simply because the demand is there. Frankly speaking, the parent assessment part is simple. If your kid is 14 years old or above and you have not been approached by a foreign scout, your prospects are limited. Not because kids won't further develop but because academies prefer to get them young enough to develop them within their own system of play. Those who can not or will not make the move look for clubs/teams where they will continue to develop to the liking of international clubs. Possibly teams such as yours but tough to say as I don't know which club/team you are with.
There use to be a coach down south (Fullerton) that created something similar to what you describe. His teams played a beautiful style of play, they were ranked #1 in the US for years and could beat any academy team. Heard his ego got so big that he self-destructed but your point remains. There are places where players go to develop rather than DA.
In closing, the fact that you have so many people that buy into what the DA is selling them (looks to be even worse on the girls side) is actually a good thing for US soccer. Those parents are doing their part to help invest in the infrastructure needed for the sport of soccer.