What you get versus what you expect...

[46n2]

I had a parent ask me why and how things where different between our kids. They couldnt understand why their kiddo could do what others can....??
Kind of a strange question right?
I didnt know how to answer it , should I say maybe your kid needs to go outside and dribble everyday? Less Video Games?

 

[jpeter]

I had a parent ask me why and how things where different between our kids. They couldnt understand why their kiddo could do what others can....??
Kind of a strange question right?
I didnt know how to answer it , should I say maybe your kid needs to go outside and dribble everyday? Less Video Games?

Google’s Mo Gawdat:
"equation for happiness”. The equation says that happiness is greater than, or equal to, your perception of the events in your life minus your expectation of how life should be.

https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.th...30/google-mo-gawdat-solve-for-happy-interview

Everybody has to find their own way and when you have certain expectations those can get in your own way.

The Happiness Equation:
https://www.google.com/amp/s/amp.uk...appiness-equation-how-it-can-help-you-2017-11

 

[46n2]

yes I believe he is just one of those dad's that no matter what his kids do , they never push hard enough for him...

 

[mirage]

...why and how things where different between our kids. They couldnt understand why their kiddo could do what others can....??........

What exactly is the question? Was he implying that his kid can do things your kid (or others for that matter) cannot?

Are you saying that the kid is a stud because dad pushes him hard?

Just asking for clarification.

 

[46n2]

Sorry sometimes I wish my English was better, he’s a very tough person on his kid and his kid cannot do what others are doing , I cannot edit on this site , sorry
He gets upset at them , almost embarrassing them regularly, just sad for the kids , but I think that since his kid is on the team they should be top players?

 

[mirage]

Thanks for the reply.

Feel sorry for the kid. Maybe the dad needs to be told, "hey why don't you go out there and show him how its done".

I have seen many moms and dads being hard on their kid yet its clear they cannot do what they are telling their kid to do.

Sometimes, parents need to realize it is what it is and the kid can only do what he/she can and willing. Its sort of like yelling at a kid to be taller.....

 

[Grace T.]

Sorry sometimes I wish my English was better, he’s a very tough person on his kid and his kid cannot do what others are doing , I cannot edit on this site , sorry
He gets upset at them , almost embarrassing them regularly, just sad for the kids , but I think that since his kid is on the team they should be top players?

Soccer is interesting....it's not like track & field or particular positions in football which are more mechanical...and unlike baseball there are less niches for particular talent. Being a good soccer player is part being athletic, in part being intelligent (and a particular kind of intelligence), in part maturity, in part your work ethic, and there may be other factors at play there (maybe the kid doesn't like it, maybe the kid has some undiagnosed condition, maybe the coach doesn't know how to reach the particular kid, maybe the coach isn't very good, maybe the parent has become counterproductive). There's been disagreement on this site from time to time over what % is being a great athlete and what part is the other stuff. For the sake of argument, let's just say being a great athlete is very important (maybe even top of the list) and leave it at that. If the kid is top 1/3 athletic in his school class (and assuming his class is average/the usual), then to answer his question, you'd need to look at what else is going on there. If the child isn't thriving, it's also necessary to look at whether the child is playing for the wrong coach/team/level (which is not often what parents want to hear).

Sometimes, parents need to realize it is what it is and the kid can only do what he/she can and willing. Its sort of like yelling at a kid to be taller.....

Agree it's not good for the kid, and the parent should shape up, but it could be that what the parent is feeling is frustration and the parent doesn't know what to do about it. If the kid is athletic and still "isn't getting it", the question is why. The answer could range from anything from the coach, to the parent's own behavior, to something everyone around the child is missing. Impossible to tell based on scraps of information...can't even tell if the question was meant ironically or as a criticism.

 

[46n2]

It’s just over the years I see more of the parents that complain that their kids don’t get playing time and do nothing to correct it versus the parents that have their kids in additional training just to make sure their kids do well in a sport they love...just seems like people just think their kids should be good because they play club soccer?

 

[El Clasico]

Thanks for the reply.

Feel sorry for the kid. Maybe the dad needs to be told, "hey why don't you go out there and show him how its done".

I have seen many moms and dads being hard on their kid yet its clear they cannot do what they are telling their kid to do.

Sometimes, parents need to realize it is what it is and the kid can only do what he/she can and willing. Its sort of like yelling at a kid to be taller.....

I am one of those bad parents. I always yell at my kid to finish her trig homework even though I can't do it.

 

[Messi>CR7]

It’s just over the years I see more of the parents that complain that their kids don’t get playing time and do nothing to correct it versus the parents that have their kids in additional training just to make sure their kids do well in a sport they love...just seems like people just think their kids should be good because they play club soccer?

If the kid doesn't LOVE the game, forget about additional training. That will just add to the frustration.

If my kid is not good in geometry, I will help her and "demand" her to get better. But if she doesn't excel in soccer and doesn't want to play anymore, it will be sad but life goes on. I know folks that are intelligent and are good parents, but somehow just don't have the right perspective when it comes to sports.

It's also a touchy conversation to make uninvited suggestions about how people should handle their kids' activities (except on this forum ). But if another parent initiates a conversation, I would simply offer my own experience on what works for me and what doesn't.

 

[mirage]

I am one of those bad parents. I always yell at my kid to finish her trig homework even though I can't do it.

Didn't think about this situation....

Need to add "....being hard on their kid yet its clear they cannot do what they are telling their kid to do during a soccer game."

I was able to help my kid through AP Calc BC....

 

[rainbow_unicorn]

I didnt know how to answer it , should I say maybe your kid needs to go outside and dribble everyday? Less Video Games?

That's probably the correct answer. Oh, and tell him that they need to do this consistently for a year or two to see results.

 

[Messi>CR7]

Didn't think about this situation....

Need to add "....being hard on their kid yet its clear they cannot do what they are telling their kid to do during a soccer game."

Well, I tell Messi and his teammates what to do from my couch every time I watch Barcelona on TV..............I'm 100% sure I can't do a single thing Messi can do on the pitch.

 

[outside!]

Well, I tell Messi and his teammates what to do from my couch every time I watch Barcelona on TV..............I'm 100% sure I can't do a single thing Messi can do on the pitch.

I'm pretty certain I could walk around like he does, I just would not be in the right place at the right time doing what he does when it counts. His ability to make his off the ball movement look random and aimless at times can lull a defense into momentarily losing track of him.

 

[LASTMAN14]

Well, I tell Messi and his teammates what to do from my couch every time I watch Barcelona on TV..............I'm 100% sure I can't do a single thing Messi can do on the pitch.

Can you fire Mourinho from your couch. I’ve tried and it hasn’t worked.