Unhappy with Coach- Advice?

OrangeCountyDad

SILVER ELITE
Looking for some advice. Child plays for coach that we were never really happy with, but we were in a tough spot when we went to this team, so we decided to just stick with it.

Rumblings around the team parents the last couple weeks is people are unhappy with the lack of development they've seen in their player. We feel the same, as our kid has been stuck in a position they'd never played before and when put in their preferred positions, shines - makes plays, assists, goals, good touches, etc etc. We feel the coach did not recognize strengths and hasn't worked to develop them in this other position, just thrown them into the deep end.

Lot of talk from other parents about leaving the team, but having been in this position before on two teams that fell apart due to players leaving I'm considering a different tactic but wanted some input first.

I'm considering reaching out to the Director of Coaches to say, basically, "please find another coach." I feel like it would behoove them to find another coach or these kids will leave to another club, and those who don't plan to leave will get stuck with a 1/2 team or worse. But I don't want to make things uncomfortable for me, my kid, or other parents. All this sneaking around is not comfortable for me, but I also feel the coach is in over their head.

Any thoughts on going to the DoC to work on a plan for next season?
 
What level is this team?

If you aren’t DA or ecnl, (and perhaps even if you are) the DOC will offer you to leave.

If this team isn’t ascending to something, and it sounds like it isn’t, the clubs can replace you. They can replace 99% of the kids in club soccer.

Moving a coach creates waves. Plus in most cases, clubs and coaches are in on the same business plan. Stripping them of a team robs income from them.

Now you’re the paying customer, and Thanksgiving is approaching. The best thing might be to leave or if everyone is truly unhappy, go united to the DOC, or just take everyone to a new club (clubs love inheriting teams, that means $$).
 
A conversation with the DOC will do little to nothing unless it’s heard by the right people like a trusted manager. Most parents just want a place for their kid to play and don’t have time or energy to care. You’re better off moving on and avoiding problems and not worrying to much about it. I feel this is a challenging age group because some of the players need individual coaching to get them to the next level, and club soccer is more about the group than the individual. Remember that some coaches have a few teams, and so they may be dealing with 40 players for more. Throw in high school and there’s very little time for much skill building. I think the criticism is healthy and normal , but as what was said above, most players are easily replaced in club, and the coaches don’t feel that unity parents feel, sadly.
 
Unless your child is a super star player the DOC will give you the very polite option to leave the club. If your child is a true asset to the teams they play with or more importantly you have more then one paying player at the club you might be offered to move to another team. But the coach you go and tell on to his boss will put a bulls eye on your child and family for the rest of your time with the club.
You will not get the coach fired, you and a group will very likely NOT get the coach fired. Your best bet is to really take a hard look at where your child is with this situation and do what is best for your child today. You might have several parents pissed and talking about moving clubs but usually 10-15 minute conversation with the coach blowing smoke up their ass and they will change their mind. So watch who you talk to and keep it private within your family, put your child before anything and do the right thing for your family. Do not get into a pissing match with any coach because in the end your child will pay the price. BUT remember if you do make the choice to leave be sure to voice (group email) your reasons to the DOC and others on the board so that they will keep that in the back of their minds, because after 30-60-100 parents leave with the same story they will remove that coach.
 
I need to clarify, I don't think I have anywhere near the amount of stroke to get the current coach fired. Another coach to choose from would be my preference.

We like the club for what it offers, but this coach was never a good fit for my kid. I don't want to get into too much history to avoid self-identifying as it's a pretty well known situation.
 
I need to clarify, I don't think I have anywhere near the amount of stroke to get the current coach fired. Another coach to choose from would be my preference.

We like the club for what it offers, but this coach was never a good fit for my kid. I don't want to get into too much history to avoid self-identifying as it's a pretty well known situation.
You and the rest of your player's support system discuss it over dinner or frozen yogurt

Frozen yogurt is good for the tummy

Figure it out before Turkey Day
 
I need to clarify, I don't think I have anywhere near the amount of stroke to get the current coach fired. Another coach to choose from would be my preference.

We like the club for what it offers, but this coach was never a good fit for my kid. I don't want to get into too much history to avoid self-identifying as it's a pretty well known situation.

It doesn't matter what team or club you with. I would suggest to stop worrying about others and worry about your own DD. Put her in the best situation she can be in. It is highly unlikely that club will replace the coach at your request.
 
I need to clarify, I don't think I have anywhere near the amount of stroke to get the current coach fired. Another coach to choose from would be my preference.

We like the club for what it offers, but this coach was never a good fit for my kid. I don't want to get into too much history to avoid self-identifying as it's a pretty well known situation.


Is say its time to leave. Find the right coach. Club is not nearly as important. The person who spends 5-12 hours a week with your kid is the first priority.
 
Looking for some advice. Child plays for coach that we were never really happy with, but we were in a tough spot when we went to this team, so we decided to just stick with it.

Rumblings around the team parents the last couple weeks is people are unhappy with the lack of development they've seen in their player. We feel the same, as our kid has been stuck in a position they'd never played before and when put in their preferred positions, shines - makes plays, assists, goals, good touches, etc etc. We feel the coach did not recognize strengths and hasn't worked to develop them in this other position, just thrown them into the deep end.

Lot of talk from other parents about leaving the team, but having been in this position before on two teams that fell apart due to players leaving I'm considering a different tactic but wanted some input first.

I'm considering reaching out to the Director of Coaches to say, basically, "please find another coach." I feel like it would behoove them to find another coach or these kids will leave to another club, and those who don't plan to leave will get stuck with a 1/2 team or worse. But I don't want to make things uncomfortable for me, my kid, or other parents. All this sneaking around is not comfortable for me, but I also feel the coach is in over their head.

Any thoughts on going to the DoC to work on a plan for next season?

Your situation has been played out by many each year and the simple solution is find a new team inside or outside of the club. If you are in Orange County you can trip and land in a different club by accident.
 
I need to clarify, I don't think I have anywhere near the amount of stroke to get the current coach fired. Another coach to choose from would be my preference.

We like the club for what it offers, but this coach was never a good fit for my kid. I don't want to get into too much history to avoid self-identifying as it's a pretty well known situation.

Go and talk to the teams coach that you want to possibly have your kid play for, then go and talk to your current coach and explain how your daughter just isn't a good fit for his team and you want to move her into a better fit for her. Make sure to make this move 100% about your child, do not ever place blame or even the slightest indication that is is in any way shape or form because of her current coach.
If he (her coach) thinks your blaming him in any way he will turn on you at a snap of a finger to pretect his job and reputation. Keep it all about your DD with smiles and happy tone.
If you start out this way then you know your in the right and whatever transpires from there will just be a reaction to how your treated.
If you need to make this happen and you want to stay within the club go approach the DOC via email or phone call to scheduled personal meeting.
If you keep calm and talk with your DOC with respect and let him know you love "HIS CLUB" and want to stay he will see dollar signs in your speech and I'm sure want to help you keep paying.. oops I mean stay within his club.
Just keep calm, be honest and polite and no matter what do what is best for your child.
Remember some clubs offer a $100.00 bonus for player retention at the end of each season so you are not making you coach money when doing this.
 
Go and talk to the teams coach that you want to possibly have your kid play for, then go and talk to your current coach and explain how your daughter just isn't a good fit for his team and you want to move her into a better fit for her. Make sure to make this move 100% about your child, do not ever place blame or even the slightest indication that is is in any way shape or form because of her current coach.
If he (her coach) thinks your blaming him in any way he will turn on you at a snap of a finger to pretect his job and reputation. Keep it all about your DD with smiles and happy tone.
If you start out this way then you know your in the right and whatever transpires from there will just be a reaction to how your treated.
If you need to make this happen and you want to stay within the club go approach the DOC via email or phone call to scheduled personal meeting.
If you keep calm and talk with your DOC with respect and let him know you love "HIS CLUB" and want to stay he will see dollar signs in your speech and I'm sure want to help you keep paying.. oops I mean stay within his club.
Just keep calm, be honest and polite and no matter what do what is best for your child.
Remember some clubs offer a $100.00 bonus for player retention at the end of each season so you are not making you coach money when doing this.

It sounds like you've done this few times. Just because you had a bad experience with your kid somewhere along the road, don't assume every coach is bad and don't care about kids on a team. The way you presenting this, all coaches worry about is their job or bonus or money. I'm not even mentioning DOC's - the are all monsters!
Is nothing wrong with talking to a coach or DOC if there is an issue. You will be surprised that most of them are human beings just like you and I, and DO care about teams and players.
 
Looking for some advice. Child plays for coach that we were never really happy with, but we were in a tough spot when we went to this team, so we decided to just stick with it.

Rumblings around the team parents the last couple weeks is people are unhappy with the lack of development they've seen in their player. We feel the same, as our kid has been stuck in a position they'd never played before and when put in their preferred positions, shines - makes plays, assists, goals, good touches, etc etc. We feel the coach did not recognize strengths and hasn't worked to develop them in this other position, just thrown them into the deep end.

Lot of talk from other parents about leaving the team, but having been in this position before on two teams that fell apart due to players leaving I'm considering a different tactic but wanted some input first.

I'm considering reaching out to the Director of Coaches to say, basically, "please find another coach." I feel like it would behoove them to find another coach or these kids will leave to another club, and those who don't plan to leave will get stuck with a 1/2 team or worse. But I don't want to make things uncomfortable for me, my kid, or other parents. All this sneaking around is not comfortable for me, but I also feel the coach is in over their head.

Any thoughts on going to the DoC to work on a plan for next season?

How does your kid feel? You said that you are unhappy. What about her?
Playing a different position- think about the "why".
Would she get less playing time if she played in her "best" position. I.E.- are there a few other kids that play there too?
Is your coach trying to teach her a new role to help her development?
Is the team competitive in games?
 
It sounds like you've done this few times. Just because you had a bad experience with your kid somewhere along the road, don't assume every coach is bad and don't care about kids on a team. The way you presenting this, all coaches worry about is their job or bonus or money. I'm not even mentioning DOC's - the are all monsters!
Is nothing wrong with talking to a coach or DOC if there is an issue. You will be surprised that most of them are human beings just like you and I, and DO care about teams and players.

You are totally correct we did do this once, it worked out for us in the short term but it was a black cloud whenever around the other coach for years later. In the end it worked out for the best for my family.
Again, I do not think all coaches are horrible people, but I have seen and experienced several that are not worth the time and effort in coaching.
We were in a very different situation then most of the posters on here and we did have to do some navigating after moving teams.
And I will admit your correct I have been very surprised after talking to some coaches over the years, some good and some bad.
 
How does your kid feel? You said that you are unhappy. What about her?
Playing a different position- think about the "why".
Would she get less playing time if she played in her "best" position. I.E.- are there a few other kids that play there too?
Is your coach trying to teach her a new role to help her development?
Is the team competitive in games?

sorry, when I said 'we' I meant both parents and kid.

different position - kid recognizes the need to be a well rounded versatile player, and after the initial growing pain, understands why. my concern was they received no coaching on how to play the position, just being thrown into it at gametime and being chided for making mistakes.

team is not competitive. lots of blowouts and scoreless games. that's not all coaching, of course.
 
Looking for some advice. Child plays for coach that we were never really happy with, but we were in a tough spot when we went to this team, so we decided to just stick with it.

Rumblings around the team parents the last couple weeks is people are unhappy with the lack of development they've seen in their player. We feel the same, as our kid has been stuck in a position they'd never played before and when put in their preferred positions, shines - makes plays, assists, goals, good touches, etc etc. We feel the coach did not recognize strengths and hasn't worked to develop them in this other position, just thrown them into the deep end.

Lot of talk from other parents about leaving the team, but having been in this position before on two teams that fell apart due to players leaving I'm considering a different tactic but wanted some input first.

I'm considering reaching out to the Director of Coaches to say, basically, "please find another coach." I feel like it would behoove them to find another coach or these kids will leave to another club, and those who don't plan to leave will get stuck with a 1/2 team or worse. But I don't want to make things uncomfortable for me, my kid, or other parents. All this sneaking around is not comfortable for me, but I also feel the coach is in over their head.

Any thoughts on going to the DoC to work on a plan for next season?

I am interested in what the tough spot was that made you stick with it...
 
Remember some clubs offer a $100.00 bonus for player retention at the end of each season so you are not making you coach money when doing this.[/QUOTE]
Some clubs offer a bonus for player retention? Damn, I have been doing it all wrong. I gotta figure out how to get that in our next contract....
 
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