Coach etiquette?

[mommato2girls]

So a while back I asked about switching clubs and heard an earful about how we just started fall season, where's my loyalty etc, etc. Here's a question about coaches etiquette, inviting a new girl to practice, to watch games and guest in upcoming tournament...She is already rostered on another team. How is this any different than a player seeking out a new team/club? I'm just curious if the same loyalty/consideration that a player is 'supposed' to have towards a team applies to coaches as well? The roster on our team is full, no injuries, adequate subs so there is no need for a new player. Isn't it unfair that a player looking for a 'better fit' is disloyal but a coach can scout new talent whenever he pleases?

 

[Eagle33]

So a while back I asked about switching clubs and heard an earful about how we just started fall season, where's my loyalty etc, etc. Here's a question about coaches etiquette, inviting a new girl to practice, to watch games and guest in upcoming tournament...She is already rostered on another team. How is this any different than a player seeking out a new team/club? I'm just curious if the same loyalty/consideration that a player is 'supposed' to have towards a team applies to coaches as well? The roster on our team is full, no injuries, adequate subs so there is no need for a new player. Isn't it unfair that a player looking for a 'better fit' is disloyal but a coach can scout new talent whenever he pleases?

It works both ways. Some coaches are ethical and commit and develop players they've got (not many out there but they do exist), and others don't care who plays as long they deliver wins.
Don't fall for "team needs you" and other nonsense - do whats best for your dd.

 

[etc1217]

Don't fall for "team needs you" and other nonsense - do whats best for your dd.

I totally agree with Eagle33, do what you think is best for your player. You are the one paying for the club/coach - so technically you don't owe them anything, if anything they owe you.

My daughter had an issue with a coach but we made her ride the season out because we wanted her to learn about making a commitment and keeping it whether it was good or bad...life lesson. So the next time she made a commitment to a team/coach, she made a mental checklist of what she was looking for in a coach/team and now she is very happy with her decision. As parents we make certain calls on things for our kids but my daughter is getting older and knows what she can tolerate so we let her make the decision, of course we give her feedback. She had to learn about making choices...and the consequences that come with those choices.

 

[mommato2girls]

Thanks for the input. We've already made our decision with our dd, and have spoken with the coach about our intentions. Honestly, we are lucky she has several coaches that are interested in her and has the opportunity to pick from a fee clubs. I am upset though bc our coach is not being forthright with the team. And making statements like he'd rather the girls not guest anywhere bc of the injury potential etc, etc and saying that loyalty to our club should be first and foremost. This loyalty thing should work both ways, there are a handful of first year club parents on the team that live by his word. It's shady at best. These girls are going to find themselves sitting on the bench and not developing while the parents won't say a word for fear of offending coach and risking their kids spot on the team. Sorry for the rant. I'm irritated.

 

[MyDaughtersAKeeper]

Do what is best for your kid - just know that you might burn bridges if you leave before the start of a season. As much as I like to think that loyalty goes both ways, I have serious doubts. The system does not seem to be set up for a player/parent to really take their time and make a informed decision after trying out for several clubs. IMO, the research needs to be done as league is winding down and the end of season tournaments are starting. My $0.02.

 

[jrcaesar]

My daughter had an issue with a coach but we made her ride the season out because we wanted her to learn about making a commitment and keeping it whether it was good or bad...life lesson.

I was tempted to disagree with this post at first. But if she's 14 and she knew the coach's personality and made her own choice but now doesn't like it, yeah, stick it out. If it's a playing time issue, yeah, I agree you stick it out. My counter point to other parents would be that life is too, too short (and you have too few years with your child) to make them stick with a bad situation if there is an issue with a coach. My experience (with my DD, albeit in AYSO) has been that other parents have similar issues with a coach, are too afraid to articulate them for fear of losing their place with a team (or making their child keep their commitment) and situations simply never change. It's OK to leave a team during the season to improve a family's dinner table dynamics!

 

[Eagle33]

Thanks for the input. We've already made our decision with our dd, and have spoken with the coach about our intentions. Honestly, we are lucky she has several coaches that are interested in her and has the opportunity to pick from a fee clubs. I am upset though bc our coach is not being forthright with the team. And making statements like he'd rather the girls not guest anywhere bc of the injury potential etc, etc and saying that loyalty to our club should be first and foremost. This loyalty thing should work both ways, there are a handful of first year club parents on the team that live by his word. It's shady at best. These girls are going to find themselves sitting on the bench and not developing while the parents won't say a word for fear of offending coach and risking their kids spot on the team. Sorry for the rant. I'm irritated.

If you DD is not happy - leave. Don't wait till season is over. Normally players, who is not happy don't perform to full potential anyway and its a waste time to be in this situation. Leagues don't allow transfer before season end, but it doesn't mean players prohibited from practicing with other teams. It's only few games left in a season, so do whats best for you DD. Cal South transfer window is opens after Thanksgiving btw.

 

[sandshark]

Take off if the situation is not repairable. Do not get sold on some BS, keep things in perspective and look at the coaches reputation and track record. Talk is cheap!