You are in the top 20%. I want to hear other stories of not going so well........I'm super happy it's is going well for your dd, truly I am.
ECNL vs. DA turf war has created a 'toxic environment'
- Thread starter VegasParent
- Start date
Out of curiosity, what exactly was she being pressured about? I mean, if she was indeed being told to hurry up and pick, what was she picking? Where offers being made even though she never contacted a school?
MakeAPlay
DA
Please everyone read this post as it is sage advice and I tell you this looking in the rear view mirror.
The ride is much better now. But the last two years was a little of a pressure cooker that I don't think any of you old timers daughters had to go through. That's the whole point of the DA debate. My dd just wants to PLAY. She's 15 and is playing HS and ECNL now after being asked to be one of the first rats (Unicorns) to experience this new "Developmental League" called the DA. I'm mad at the process of putting 12 and 13 year olds through the meat grinder with the help of US Soccer, Surf and UCLA all by the time their 13 years old. It s a BUSINESS to get into college, pure and simple. All you who say, "that's awesome, you a had so and so at your practice" or "Coach K is going all around "poping" in to all the AAU basketball courts with 7th and 8th graders and telling the AAU coach to tell his players they better make a decision by the beginning of 9th grade or $$$ will go to someone else.......that's laughable. Coach K is only coming over to say, "hi" to let said recruit, "I like you." My kid is very happy and I am too. This is the forum to drop off my toxic gas, right?
First, send your list of 5. No college coach can call you, right? So all the 7th and 8th graders write an email (mind never did) with the same old stuff and then your told 100 college coaches watched her game at the DA SHOWCASE SHOWDOWN. If your coach and DOC are professional than maybe you will get some good information for later but that was not happening with the RULE CHANGES coming in May 2019. College coach: Look, thanks for calling me Sally. Your amazing, I need a Center Back for your class and your my #1 favorite. I need an answer by Monday or I will call my 2nd favorite CB and so on. Player: Ok, thanks coach for being patient and allowing me the time to consider the next four years, I mean in four years consider the next four years of my life. Player laying bed Sunday night wondering WTF to do.......that is INSANE!!!!!
Coach text back and asks, "I forgot to ask what your grades are like?
You’re Roll playing something and making a lot of assumptions that aren’t the reality in my experience.
Look... I think we can all agree that the process (pre-rule change) was insane. My DD was part of the insanity (commited Oct. of last year early part of her Sophomore year), but what tempered that was our family making sure she understood what was going on and what she needed to do in order to make informed decisions. We made sure to expose her to different schools and the pros/cons associated. All along the way making sure her aspirations/goals weren't pipe dreams with her coach and DOC. As MAP and others have always said, picking the school based on academic merit is primary. Once that is narrowed down go from there. My DD has always had college/education on her mind from early age because we planted that seed. That said, she also wants to be a pro, so the soccer part was of equal importance. Sure ideas change and motivations change... I get that, but you have to be able to discern what is real, what is chatter and what ultimately makes your kid tick & guide them accordingly. Each recruiting process is different for each individual. You can/should take tips from this forum (which are fantastic and helped me through my daughter's recruitment), but the journey is hers and your family's alone. The shit you're hearing regarding making quick decisions is the "chatter" I'm talking about. From what you say, it sounds like your DD will not have a shortage of options. Weigh them all with her when she's ready and make informed decisions that works for her and your family, in terms of the school, the soccer and the financials.
Keep in mind Kicker your dd is 2023. No pressure for most 2023s but I could imagine if I put myself in your shoes (I do that sometimes) your dd would feel a tad little more pressure than the other Unicorns (total joke, you know me, I hope) because of a certain list she is on? Are you saying you had no "opportunities" that someone was telling you could happen if you pick up the phone? The top Unicorns in 2022 had pressure if they wanted $$$$$$$$ towards school and have 90% paid for or more. How do you think the phone calls went with them? Just curious. Today's 7th or 8th grader grader won't be having that phone call now. which is soooooooooo gooooooooooood for our DAUGHTERS. I'm happy your dd got to practice her phone calling and I mean that with respect. I know other 2022s who did it for that reason as well. I am starting to get concerned for some of them because maybe they, shoulda, coulda, woulda taken the deal $$$ at ASU instaed of hoping USC or UCLA will coma knocking. Maybe they still will???? Come on Kicker, were not hearing about the other 8 that it went horrible for. MAP and few are stoked and that's great for them.
(commited Oct. of last year early part of her Sophomore year). Older forum folks keep saying stuff like this. Thanks for the info though.
Many, not all 2022s went through hell pressure wise, trust me!!!! College coaches were begging for kids to call. TRUST ME!!!!! In 6th grade DOCs or coaches called me to ask for my dd services because she was a hell of a playa. In 8th grade the coaches called again (dd is free agent, wants to play HS) and it went like this.
ECNL COACH: Where do you want to play in college?
DD: Not sure I want to.
Coach: Good bye
Next Coach: Your amazing soccer player. We sure could use some help!!!!! BTW, where you be wanting to play soccer in college? How your grades?
DD: Not sure I want to play in college.
Coach: Then why you here.
I have more but you get the point. She actually found a great TEAM and is happy to be just one of the beautiful unicorns that all of our daughters are despite how tall, fast or big they are in 7th grade. All players who take to the pitch are all beautiful unicorns
Some are smarter than the other ones, been given God given talent, blessed with parents that have the means to pay for it and are just better than the rest of us and because of that, they can play at UNICORN U. Trying to get 13 year olds to train 10 months out of the year to be the next Alex Morgan or OM is insane. However, if they fail at that their next task is getting a 4.5 GPA and be a hell of a playa is just as insane. This is why we will lose to Spain or some other EURO team next world cup. We all watched the games this year. Thank God for PKs. Show my dd the $$$$, not college and she might start training every day This pathway is full of snakes and their everywhere.
MakeAPlay
DA
MakeAPlay
DA
(commited Oct. of last year early part of her Sophomore year). Older forum folks keep saying stuff like this. Thanks for the info though.
Many, not all 2022s went through hell pressure wise, trust me!!!! College coaches were begging for kids to call. TRUST ME!!!!! In 6th grade DOCs or coaches called me to ask for my dd services because she was a hell of a playa. In 8th grade the coaches called again (dd is free agent, wants to play HS) and it went like this.
ECNL COACH: Where do you want to play in college?
DD: Not sure I want to.
Coach: Good bye
Next Coach: Your amazing soccer player. We sure could use some help!!!!! BTW, where you be wanting to play soccer in college? How your grades?
DD: Not sure I want to play in college.
Coach: Then why you here.
I have more but you get the point. She actually found a great TEAM and is happy to be just one of the beautiful unicorns that all of our daughters are despite how tall, fast or big they are in 7th grade. All players who take to the pitch are all beautiful unicorns
I think that Mr. Miyagi has the best advice for your situation:
Good luck to you and your player.
The shit you're hearing regarding making quick decisions is the "chatter" I'm talking about.
Its not chatter.....its true. It already happened. You think I would be on here to make this shit up? Before, UCLA would hold on to their "tickets" into paradise until a little later like sophomore year. All the top coaches new about the "new rule." Your kid got to wait a little longer, right? Still bad but better. "Attention K Mart Shoppers, the NCAA has changed the rules for the girls. However, they have two months to find 8 studs (really been watching from a far probably since 6th grade) so send your emails quickly and set up your phone call through your trusted coach who only has the best in mind for your dd.....hurry,
hurry, hurry.......
I agree the process was not good in the past and my daughter felt all the pressure of the coaches even though we had let them know that we would not be choosing a college until the following summer. That being said i'm not sure it's going to be any better in the future. In the past from my experience it worked something like this: YNT "unicorns" (2-4 players on top level teams ECNL/DA) verbally committed freshman year/early sophomore year for the most part, then you had a few (2-3)of the next level players go during their sophomore year then literally everyone else if they wanted to play soccer committed their junior year sometime and maybe a few stragglers lasted into their senior year. Our entire team was more or less done by their senior year.
I don't really know how the process is going to work now. Is it going to be a free for all after June 15th of their sophomore year because you now have 2700 girls chasing the money? How can coaches make offers June 15th if they really haven't spoken to the kids. Are player/parents going to have to do numerous unofficial tours during the summer between sophomore and junior years. It's going to be crazy next June 15th for the 2022 class when 2700 of the 2800 girls try to figure out what is available to them and the coaches running around trying to figure out who is available to them. We were fortunate and grateful that my daughter was recruited early due to her God given ability and her hard work but It wasn't easy and the pressure is real. All that being said, i'm not sure the new rules are better, we will have to wait and see.
Bottom line is there are plenty of opportunities for players of all different abilities in this country including about 4690 DI scholarships (335 DI soccer schools x 14) which probably means about 10,000 female athletes will get some money for D1 soccer. That doesn't count the opportunities for DII, DIII and NAIA.
Good luck to all of you now going through the recruiting process and as hard as it is, try to have fun with it.
Just FYI, i think youth soccer is more screwed up now than it ever has been before and the USSF and parents (I include myself in this category) are to blame.
90% of her closest friends are 2022’s. I’ve spent a lot of time with these parents and have listened and watched intently. Some are YNT players, some are DA and some ECNL. When I say “my experience” I’m not just talking about my DD’s experience.
Yes, we had 2 schools (good schools that my DD likes) try to apply pressure (one more than the other). But my DD and I made a pact that there would not be any committing before the summer after her Freshman year (this was prior to the new rule). So we really weren’t feeling any pressure only the perception of it.
I’m really not sure what it is you want someone to say. There are dozens of Unicorns out there at the 2022 age group that haven’t committed and remember NOT ONE HAS SIGNED ON THE DOTTED LINE YET. So my advice, don’t look backwards at what you think you missed. Nothing you can do but give yourself brain damage. You’ve obviously learned a lot from your experience....mainly what to avoid. But your DD still loves the game, has a fantastic Coach and parents who support her. She is poised for success, enjoy the journey.
We have used the team at ScoutingZone to help in the process. I highly recommend them.
MakeAPlay
DA
@Ellejustus You have lots of people giving you mad love. You should just chill and enjoy the ride. Soon enough you will be where I am at which is close to the end. My kid is not a kid anymore (she turned 21 at the end of May) and she is studying for the LSAT and deciding whether she wants to play in England, France, Spain, Germany or the NWSL. The days of driving her to practice and tournaments are over. No more making sure all of her stuff is in her soccer bag. No more talking on the way to the game about who they are going to play and what I know about them. Now they have professional scouting reports on opponents and have seen hours of game film on them. Enjoy the journey because truth be told it really is about the journey and not the destination. Remember no matter how good a player is it can all be taken away in an instant. Not to mention unless they are that one or two players per birth year that are going to make the full WNT then this is a labor of love that better include a plan "B" that is really your plan "A."
Good luck to you and your player.
Good luck to you and your player.
Kicker, thanks. I'm almost done. So she was in 8th grade, right? That's all I'm bitter about. I will come back a year from now and see how things are going on the forum. I had to leave for obvious reason....
Go GOATS for ever!!!!.Don't misinterpret what I'm saying.... I'm not saying the "chatter" is not true. A club coach putting pressure on your kid to make a decision is attrocious. I sure hope your DD is not playing for that coach. I also completely understand the pressure she and her teammates may have gotten from college coaches as well since they wanted to commit girls before the rule change. The 2022s that are 03s that play with my DD experienced that as well as the 04 team at our club. Some committed and some did not. Eventhough these things are real, I point back to what I said about this being your DD and your family's choice on how to handle the situation. If there is a lot of interest now, there will be down the road as well (provided she keeps ballin and keeps up her grades) when she's ready to make her mind up about what she wants to do. Financially, it is impossible to know how much money any one school has or is willing to give to any recruit. If you hear that all the money is gone, IMO that is also "chatter" unless you hear that directly from the coach themselves during your negotiation. That is precisely why the journey is unique to each player. What is most important? Do you need a ride? Do you need half? This is all part of the process. It will work out so long as you're letting your kid drive the process while giving her the guidance any good parent would provide along the way. Don't let these other things distract you or your kid from whatever her goal might be.The shit you're hearing regarding making quick decisions is the "chatter" I'm talking about.
Its not chatter.....its true. It already happened. You think I would be on here to make this shit up? Before, UCLA would hold on to their "tickets" into paradise until a little later like sophomore year. All the top coaches new about the "new rule." Your kid got to wait a little longer, right? Still bad but better. "Attention K Mart Shoppers, the NCAA has changed the rules for the girls. However, they have two months to find 8 studs (really been watching from a far probably since 6th grade) so send your emails quickly and set up your phone call through your trusted coach who only has the best in mind for your dd.....hurry,
hurry, hurry.......
Yes, she starts HS this Fall. However her 2022 friends are all starting their Sophmore year.Kicker, thanks. I'm almost done. So she was in 8th grade, right? That's all I'm bitter about. I will come back a year from now and see how things are going on the forum. I had to leave for obvious reason....
If College is a goal, I do recommend for her to start writing letters and organizing highlight reels to attach.
Kicker, she's going to play hard for two years and wait for the call. Will it come or does she have to go through a middle man? We shall see but I want the middle man out of this circus. If they don't by her SR year and she wants to play in college, I will hire someone to put a video together and send it out.