I have 3 kids 11 and under playing club soccer. The older two play on pretty competitive teams. Why is it so many people I know that have kids that play club soccer have their entire life consumed by it? It’s all we talk about with each other. my spouse and I are always talking about it. It’s on my mind all the time. It’s taken over our life. Every aspect of soccer has. It’s like never ending conversations. All. The. Time. And 90% of it just speculation. But still being discussed.
Is this just the way it is for the next 10 years of my life? I grew up playing club sports, I cannot imagine my parents were like this.
I am really a bit embarrassed by this. But I don’t know is this common or not? Please be nice as it’s not easy writing this. I see the memes on this and laugh. And then I realize no that’s my life right there.
What you're experiencing is fairly normal. I only had one kid in club soccer, I can't imaging having three, although I did have another kid in competitive dance. So at least you and your wife are together. My wife and I had to divide and conquer.
My first piece of advice would be trust your gut. The following advice is based on my personal experience (although I know others that shared the same experience), so take it with a grain of salt.
1) Take it one year at a time. Don't worry about whether your kid is in a club that has MLS Next or ECNL. Don't even think about playing college soccer until you kid is a sophomore. (Odds are much higher that your son will be playing a high school sport(s) and not club soccer)
2) If a club or coach starts talking about how their the "pathway" is the only way to go, put your hand over your wallet and run away. There is only one "pathway" to your child's extended soccer career and that's your kids own skill, passion and dedication.
3) Trust, but verify, what other parents tell you about a club or coach. What may be a good fit for their kid doesn't mean it is going to be a good fit for your kid. You know your kid best (i.e. trust your gut).
4) Don't rely on tryouts, they are the worst way to get on a team. Ask to have your kid participate in a few practices if you're looking at moving teams.
5) Don't worry about other kids getting opportunities or "preferred" positions. US coaches are terrible at talent identification. Just keep the focus on kids improvement.
6) Give your kids a break from soccer. You can miss games and tournaments. They play far too many and your not letting the team down. Just be upfront with the coach and give them plenty of notice. Clubs' don't own your kids, although many act like it.
7) Stay in the moment, take advantage of the time spent in the car traveling to practice and games. Make out-of-town travel fun. Most of my son and I fondest memories aren't from the games themselves. Minimize talk about soccer and their performance on the ride home after games.
8) Get to know the other parents on a cordial, non-soccer basis . You're going to spend a lot of time with them and you get the opportunity to meet people from diverse backgrounds.
9) Keep it fun. Listen to your kid when they seem to lose interest in soccer, are reluctant to go to practice, and or aren't excited for games.
I'm very critical about youth soccer, but I don't regret any of my decisions. I would do things differently if I had a do over, but no regrets. Youth soccer is the best preparation to play other sports when your kid gets to high school. We now have the weekends off and my son competes on Friday night in front of hundreds from his school and community.
) 