# When to let your kid quit?



## Desert619 (Mar 2, 2017)

So my 15 year old is done with soccer. Taking him to practice has become a nightmare. It's always a stressful situation getting him to go to practices and games. The problem is he wants to play video games all day. I'm to the point where I just want to give up pushing him. I told him he can pick another sport however he doesn't want to do anything. It's been two years since taking him to practice has turned into a nightmare. What would you do?


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## NoGoal (Mar 2, 2017)

Desert619 said:


> So my 15 year old is done with soccer. Taking him to practice has become a nightmare. It's always a stressful situation getting him to go to practices and games. The problem is he wants to play video games all day. I'm to the point where I just want to give up pushing him. I told him he can pick another sport however he doesn't want to do anything. It's been two years since taking him to practice has turned into a nightmare. What would you do?


If he doesn't love the game anymore.  Why force him?  Let him quit, maybe he will miss it and play the following year.  If he only wants to play video games then buy him FIFA 2017


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## SoccerQ120 (Mar 2, 2017)

We live in a world where our kids just don't go out and play in the neighborhood anymore, so sports is still a great way to get our kids some exercise and keep them away from the electronics.  Additionally, I think sports is a great way to keep our children active and out of trouble.  I find my children perform better in school when they are more active, so there are just so many positives to sports.

At 15, your son is nearing young adulthood.  I do think it is important to give your son choices, but you are still the parent and even though your son will continue to get more independent, he still needs his parental guidance.

If it were me, I wouldn't force him into soccer, but I would make him find some type of physical activity to replace soccer.  Give him a choice, you can stop soccer, but if you don't replace it with another sports or physical activity then you also lose your Xbox or video games.  Then he still gets to make his own decision, but at least there is a consequence to making the decision you don't agree with.

The other thought is I would try and dialogue with him and find out why he no longer likes soccer.  I know it is not always easy getting a 15 year old teenager to open up, but if you keep asking the same question over and over, he may start to open up and you may get some interesting answers.  Maybe he still likes soccer but doesn't like his circumstances.  Maybe he is not happy with a teammate(s), coach, parental pressure (no insinuation, just a thought), etc.  Knowing the why could help you chart a better course for the future.

Just my humble 2 cents.  Hope it is helpful.


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## GunninGopher (Mar 3, 2017)

SoccerQ120 said:


> If it were me, I wouldn't force him into soccer, but I would make him find some type of physical activity to replace soccer. Give him a choice, you can stop soccer, but if you don't replace it with another sports or physical activity then you also lose your Xbox or video games. Then he still gets to make his own decision, but at least there is a consequence to making the decision you don't agree with.


A well written post, I totally agree.

Ever since they were little, we've told our kids that they have to be involved in a sport. We don't care which sport or what level, but it has to involve some sort of commitment. Physical activity is also a part of our mindset.

If you take that stance with your 15 year old (I also have one), then I would expect him to retort with some facts about how gaming is a sport these days. So be prepared for that. I my family, we have taken steps which wouldn't allow our kids sufficient time on electronics to become competitive at video games.


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## Calisoccer11 (Mar 3, 2017)

Desert619 said:


> So my 15 year old is done with soccer. Taking him to practice has become a nightmare. It's always a stressful situation getting him to go to practices and games. The problem is he wants to play video games all day. I'm to the point where I just want to give up pushing him. I told him he can pick another sport however he doesn't want to do anything. It's been two years since taking him to practice has turned into a nightmare. What would you do?


Let him play!  I've been in your shoes and it would kill me to see my kid play video games for so many hours!  However, besides me not liking him be so sedentary, my son is a straight A student and a really good kid.  If video games is your only problem, consider yourself lucky!  I had to take a step back, see the big picture, and consider this when I was going through this same problem.  
I did keep reminding him to keep healthy and get outside to do something - bike, walk, jog.  I even signed him up at the local Y (it was only like $20 bucks a month).  My son is now a senior, his grades continue to be at the top of his class and he still loves video games!  He goes out for a run in the morning before school about 3 times a week.  Most importantly, we still have a good relationship because I backed off the video games - (we would have some epic arguments)!  
Hang in there and best of luck.


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## espola (Mar 3, 2017)

Desert619 said:


> So my 15 year old is done with soccer. Taking him to practice has become a nightmare. It's always a stressful situation getting him to go to practices and games. The problem is he wants to play video games all day. I'm to the point where I just want to give up pushing him. I told him he can pick another sport however he doesn't want to do anything. It's been two years since taking him to practice has turned into a nightmare. What would you do?


My daughter had a couple of enjoyable years in the rec program.  Then she was invited to GU9 tryouts and made the team.  I could see, and she could see, that she was the weakest player on that team.  She grew to hate going to practice, so I let her drop it.  The next year, one of her rec coaches started a GU10 B team and asked her to play on it - we knew the coach and her family because my sons had played on a team with their boy for years, so she agreed and had a good time that year.  However, about then her school/girl scout friends started playing lacrosse, so she switched sports and never looked back.  She ended up a starter on her HS lacrosse team and still has a network of friends from that time.


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## seesnake (Mar 3, 2017)

Video games are neurologically addictive. Cut the cord, literally. After withdrawals, literally, he will be a better, more well-rounded person and will likely enjoy playing soccer or other sports.


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## Grace T. (Mar 3, 2017)

Calisoccer11 said:


> Let him play!  I've been in your shoes and it would kill me to see my kid play video games for so many hours!  However, besides me not liking him be so sedentary, my son is a straight A student and a really good kid.


My main concern with this would be if the kid or family has college aspirations, especially for higher level school (eg top 50). Being a straight A student with good test scores isn't enough for most of the higher tiered schools.  You have to have something else. I've done lots of interviewing for an ivy and have seen it all- from fake charities to resumes packed with activities.  I've seen many a straight a student dinged because their extracurricular weren't up to snuff.  Socialization is just as important- I've seen kids without friends who spend their time in the library dinged as well.


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## bababooey (Mar 3, 2017)

I went through something very similar with my older dd (who is 15 too). She played softball for six or seven years and could have been a great player if she wanted to. Her first few years in softball, we would practice a fair amount of time outside of her team practice schedule. As she got older, she wanted to practice with me less and less. At first I had a hard time understanding why she would not want to keep practicing with dad.

Eventually I had to just stop asking as I could see it was leading to a divide between her and I on other matters. She stopped playing for about a year and a half and I thought it was over for good. Then this past summer, she said she wanted to play again. I was excited that she had rediscovered her passion for softball. Then after the season, she informed me that she just didn't have the desire for softball anymore.

She has a tough schedule at school (freshman this year) and that occupies a lot of her personal time. She really doesn't have time for softball and studies.

Keep in mind that your 15 year old will be off to college soon. Why fight with them between now and then? If I were in your shoes, I wouldn't have a problem with video games as long as the grades are all "A's".


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## espola (Mar 3, 2017)

seesnake said:


> Video games are neurologically addictive. Cut the cord, literally. After withdrawals, literally, he will be a better, more well-rounded person and will likely enjoy playing soccer or other sports.


I agree it is addictive and I know it can have a negative effect on grades.  However, there may be some minor offsetting benefits - My older son sold his account on one game in an eBay auction, and the other suggested online gaming tournaments when interviewing at a secondary-ticket-market company - and he got the job.


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## younothat (Mar 3, 2017)

Your kid has already decided, I know it can be difficult to understand but this situation reminds me of the old  proverb "You can *lead a horse to water* but you *can't* make them drink"

I remember my son telling me he was done with Little League Baseball out of the blue at the end of the post season and all-stars.  I was a bit surprised at first and thought maybe after some time he would change his mind but didn't  really talk to him much about it until the coaches started calling about fall ball.    He basically told me he didn't have the desire anymore to put in the time to play at the level he wanted, he has always been a self starter and would practice hitting and pitching on his own all the time.   Takes too many hours he told be and he wanted to focus on other things now.

I cherished the moments we played catch together, hit, pitched and learned the game, this was the one and only sport he play(s)ed I had a background in so it was joy watching him grow, develop, and become a complete competitive player  but in the end it was better to let make his own decisions and go his own way.  Other than asking him if he was sure about half dozen times and telling the disappointed coaches who thought we were crazy he never looked back and we still play catch and pickup baseball with friends every once in while specially during the MLB post seasons.

IF the kids gets joy out of playing video games my advice is don't discourage them, moderate yes.  One of mine is a FIFA nut and knows that everything else; school,  academics, sports, and other obligations should come first and sometimes I have to remind him of this but he does a pretty good job at self moderation, I check every once in while to see how many hours are spent and occasionally we have to agree on some adjustments

Open two way communications and understanding goes a long way, not easy and teens can be stubborn and think they know it all already bit we just have to remind them they have a long way to go and they need to continue to grow, work on many things and develop as young adults.

Kids grow up so quickly nowadays so enjoy the moments when you can, the are fleeting is seems as the older the get  but is still fun to play pickup with them,  talk about the newest music,  there favorite teams, players,  are there latest muse'es


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## Calisoccer11 (Mar 3, 2017)

Grace T. said:


> My main concern with this would be if the kid or family has college aspirations, especially for higher level school (eg top 50). Being a straight A student with good test scores isn't enough for most of the higher tiered schools.  You have to have something else. I've done lots of interviewing for an ivy and have seen it all- from fake charities to resumes packed with activities.  I've seen many a straight a student dinged because their extracurricular weren't up to snuff.  Socialization is just as important- I've seen kids without friends who spend their time in the library dinged as well.


You are talking about a stereotype kid that plays all alone in front of his computer.  Games nowadays are social in that they are playing with each other online.  I agree - not the best type of socialization - but socializing nonetheless.  A balance is the right way to go--taking away something a kid loves to do is just going to lead to resentment.  I'm just saying what worked for us - my kid got to do something he was passionate about - it led to key positions in his robotics team (in programming) as well as lead positions in his engineering design class.  And btw, he has applied to all the Ivy league and top universities.  Decisions are just starting to roll in.  He hasn't been declined so far.  Sports is great and important--it's not the end all though!  Happiness and being well adjusted - that's number one - at least imo.


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## TangoCity (Mar 3, 2017)

First thing I would take a sledge hammer to all the video game equipment.


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## espola (Mar 3, 2017)

Calisoccer11 said:


> You are talking about a stereotype kid that plays all alone in front of his computer.  Games nowadays are social in that they are playing with each other online.  I agree - not the best type of socialization - but socializing nonetheless.  A balance is the right way to go--taking away something a kid loves to do is just going to lead to resentment.  I'm just saying what worked for us - my kid got to do something he was passionate about - it led to key positions in his robotics team (in programming) as well as lead positions in his engineering design class.  And btw, he has applied to all the Ivy league and top universities.  Decisions are just starting to roll in.  He hasn't been declined so far.  Sports is great and important--it's not the end all though!  Happiness and being well adjusted - that's number one - at least imo.


My son and daughter share an apartment.  She told me that sometimes the only way to communicate with him is by online text because he is completely absorbed in the game conversations.


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## Frank (Mar 3, 2017)

It's a life decision. I wouldn't let my kid decide not to go to school anymore so why would I let him bail out on something he is reasonably good at and has invested a lot of time in. Mine sorta went through that around 13 yo and eventually worked his way through those 6 months and now loves training. I think the maturity helped.  We preached to come up with another option if he was serious about not playing and he never could.  However, again it is up to you to determine what is best for your child in the long run until they have a developed brain to be able to make those decisions.  Kids don't see the long term trade offs.


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## Grace T. (Mar 3, 2017)

Calisoccer11 said:


> You are talking about a stereotype kid that plays all alone in front of his computer.  Games nowadays are social in that they are playing with each other online.  I agree - not the best type of socialization - but socializing nonetheless.  A balance is the right way to go--taking away something a kid loves to do is just going to lead to resentment.  I'm just saying what worked for us - my kid got to do something he was passionate about - it led to key positions in his robotics team (in programming) as well as lead positions in his engineering design class.  And btw, he has applied to all the Ivy league and top universities.  Decisions are just starting to roll in.  He hasn't been declined so far.  Sports is great and important--it's not the end all though!  Happiness and being well adjusted - that's number one - at least imo.


Congrats but I note robotics team is something particularly if you are interested and show an interest in majoring in engineering.  It shows you have a passion for what you want to do in college. It doesn't have to be a sport, but you need to have something, and also have friends.


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## lancer (Mar 3, 2017)

I am in a similar situation with my 14 year old.  Playing 7 years, 3 years in club.  Started as the weakest link on her first club team but played every second of every game last season and the girls made in into the round of 16.  Her team fell apart and she was offered a spot on 3 other local flight 2 teams.  She has close friends on all 3 teams.  The coaches and teams are all decent, even better than her last club.  

Still, She says she doesn't want to play.  She says she'll join track and volleyball.  I don't want to push too much.  She is a straight A kid.  She does play video games but not to an excess.  She is also a band geek and was drum major this year.  I am hoping that by giving her the choice and letting her decide to quit, she will reconsider.

I love watching my kids play soccer...after shuttling kids around so cal for the last 7 years, its strange not being on a field every weekend.  But when it comes down to it, if she doesn't feel for the game anymore, I got to let it go.


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## outside! (Mar 3, 2017)

Band and soccer do not mix very well once they hit high school.


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## SoccerFan4Life (Mar 3, 2017)

This is a great topic.  I am going through the same with my 13 year old kids.  I am giving them a break from soccer but I made them join a gym.  They are going 2 times a week and I am asking them to pick another sport (any sport).   I asked the current coach to give me til this summer to see if they want to go back to soccer.   Keeping them active is very important but they also need to take a break.  This is the biggest problem with club soccer in this country.  Club Soccer (Flight 2/1) Kids have maybe 2 weeks off in Christmas and that's it.    The burn out factor is probably one of the main reasons why kids quit soccer and go on to the 3 major sports.


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## Frank (Mar 3, 2017)

It's a softball article but still relevant. 

https://softballisforgirls.com/2017/03/03/an-open-letter-to-the-girl-thinking-about-quitting-softball-is-for-girls/


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## Dargle (Mar 3, 2017)

SoccerFan4Life said:


> This is a great topic.  I am going through the same with my 13 year old kids.  I am giving them a break from soccer but I made them join a gym.  They are going 2 times a week and I am asking them to pick another sport (any sport).   I asked the current coach to give me til this summer to see if they want to go back to soccer.   Keeping them active is very important but they also need to take a break.  This is the biggest problem with club soccer in this country.  Club Soccer (Flight 2/1) Kids have maybe 2 weeks off in Christmas and that's it.    The burn out factor is probably one of the main reasons why kids quit soccer and go on to the 3 major sports.


Do you really know lots of kids who burn out on soccer and go to football, basketball, or baseball?  I've known kids who have switched to one of those sports, but they were playing both at the same time and eventually made a choice.  That's not the same as burning out on soccer.  If a kid really burns out because the sport doesn't have enough days off, they want to play video games, or go to parties and be social or anything other than playing another sport.  All three of those sports are year-round commitments nowadays (same with most sports actually, including volleyball, swimming, lacrosse etc).  No one except perhaps at the smallest of schools can just pick up baseball anymore without having played years of fall and spring baseball, plus baseball camps and summer road trips.  Basketball is non-stop too, especially at high levels with the AAU circuit.  Football is a bit different because it is still primarily HS-based, but the advent of 8 v. 8 passing leagues is now making it full year too and if you're not playing, you're lifting.  Not many three sport superstars in HS anymore.


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## coachrefparent (Mar 3, 2017)

Desert619 said:


> So my 15 year old is done with soccer. Taking him to practice has become a nightmare. It's always a stressful situation getting him to go to practices and games. The problem is he wants to play video games all day. I'm to the point where I just want to give up pushing him. I told him he can pick another sport however he doesn't want to do anything. It's been two years since taking him to practice has turned into a nightmare. What would you do?


Without delving too deep into your personal life, is your son otherwise doing ok in school, socially, etc.? He's at an age where other influences come into play, and drugs, alcohol or depression are common issues. Not assuming any of these, but just a thought as to other things that may be affecting him.


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## SoccerFan4Life (Mar 3, 2017)

Dargle said:


> Do you really know lots of kids who burn out on soccer and go to football, basketball, or baseball?  I've known kids who have switched to one of those sports, but they were playing both at the same time and eventually made a choice.  That's not the same as burning out on soccer.  If a kid really burns out because the sport doesn't have enough days off, they want to play video games, or go to parties and be social or anything other than playing another sport.  All three of those sports are year-round commitments nowadays (same with most sports actually, including volleyball, swimming, lacrosse etc).  No one except perhaps at the smallest of schools can just pick up baseball anymore without having played years of fall and spring baseball, plus baseball camps and summer road trips.  Basketball is non-stop too, especially at high levels with the AAU circuit.  Football is a bit different because it is still primarily HS-based, but the advent of 8 v. 8 passing leagues is now making it full year too and if you're not playing, you're lifting.  Not many three sport superstars in HS anymore.


Yes, I know of several just within my small circle of friends and family members. Soccer is more demanding than Baseball and other sports because of the amount of running and conditioning required.   

When does Soccer season begin for young athletes (non HS),  Is it Summer, Fall, January, Spring?    Does it make sense to take your 7 year old/8 year to play tournaments?     Why have state cup in January/February and not allow the kids to take a 1 month Christmas break.     I love soccer and watch it every day but as a parent I got burned out just with the crazy club schedules.    For young athletes, club soccer should begin in April with tryouts and end in December (including state cup).  Give them 2 weeks of a break in the summer (1st two weeks of July).


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## Dargle (Mar 3, 2017)

SoccerFan4Life said:


> Yes, I know of several just within my small circle of friends and family members. Soccer is more demanding than Baseball and other sports because of the amount of running and conditioning required.
> 
> When does Soccer season begin for young athletes (non HS),  Is it Summer, Fall, January, Spring?    Does it make sense to take your 7 year old/8 year to play tournaments?     Why have state cup in January/February and not allow the kids to take a 1 month Christmas break.     I love soccer and watch it every day but as a parent I got burned out just with the crazy club schedules.    For young athletes, club soccer should begin in April with tryouts and end in December (including state cup).  Give them 2 weeks of a break in the summer (1st two weeks of July).


Interesting.  I've been involved in club soccer for almost a decade and I can think of only one kid who left to play baseball and football and his Dad was a former minor league baseball player, so he was always leaning in that direction.  Two other kids left to play baseball and basketball, respectively, but they were just doing AYSO turkey/all star/spring tournaments before they left, rather than club.  We must live and travel in extremely different circles. I'm in LA, though.  Perhaps the OC or SD are different

The divergence in our experiences, though, sounds like you are referring more to the youngers.  I can see that, but I think that's less burnout and more going to club too early.  In LA where we live, there aren't that many 7 year-olds in club.  At most, a club will have one U9 (2008) team with about 9-10 kids.  Most are still in AYSO.  A few leave AYSO after U8 and most leave after a year or two of U10.  Admittedly, the entry point has crept younger over the years.  It used to be most kids came to club after a year or two in U12.  Still, that's a whole different situation than the original poster's child, who was talking about leaving the sport as a teenager when his or her child had dedicated years to it and endured (enjoyed?) the schedule for quite a long time.  Those types of kids are long past leaving for other sports that require similar dedication and time commitment.  Not only does burnout mean they want a break altogether, but they simply don't have the skills and can't jump back into those other sports very easily.

One difference I have noticed between the OC teams and the LA teams, is that LA teams tend to take off from middle of June until the beginning of August.  They don't play summer tournaments until August.  They do summer camps over that period, but not with their teammates necessarily.  They also take off more like three weeks in December (matching the LAUSD winter break).  So, there are some slightly longer breaks than you find in the OC teams.


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## Grace T. (Mar 3, 2017)

Dargle said:


> Football is a bit different because it is still primarily HS-based, but the advent of 8 v. 8 passing leagues is now making it full year too and if you're not playing, you're lifting.  Not many three sport superstars in HS anymore.


. Football has begun to adopt the club model too at the expense of high school...see the show "Friday night tykes".


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## rainbow_unicorn (Mar 3, 2017)

Dargle said:


> One difference I have noticed between the OC teams and the LA teams, is that LA teams tend to take off from middle of June until the beginning of August.  They don't play summer tournaments until August.  They do summer camps over that period, but not with their teammates necessarily.  They also take off more like three weeks in December (matching the LAUSD winter break).  So, there are some slightly longer breaks than you find in the OC teams.


One other difference is that LA teams are not as good as teams playing all year round .  I think the LA area is underserved in regards to girl club teams...we had few options when living in the mid-Wilshire area.


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## mirage (Mar 3, 2017)

Desert619 said:


> So my 15 year old is done with soccer......I told him he can pick another sport however he doesn't want to do anything.......What would you do?


As you can see by various approaches and responses, its a difficult situation if you look at it from a parent perspective.  I have 17yrs and soon to be 15 yrs boys.  Both still play. and shows no loss of interest - I'm lucky.  They do play fair amount of video games too.

The whole issue needs to be put into a bigger context.  By itself, it may simply result in a stereotypical responses (which may or may not be appropriate).  Hard to generalize. Individual situation needs to be considered.

So the question is why are we insisting on kids play another sport?  By the time the kids are 15, and if they've been playing for years, they should be able to make up their own mind as to continue on.  If they are done, so be it.

I get the whole thing about benefit sports brings to kids and life in general - I agree completely. I also get that being involved with your kids via sports is an easy venue. What I don't get is parents insisting on something they don't want to engage in.   The only thing one accomplishes by doing so is to create animosity and further hate for the sports.  How often do you hear adults say something like, "yeah my parents made me play xxxx when as a kid.  I hated it then and I still hate it."

Want to be still engaged with your kids?  Have them teach you how to play video games.  Buy your own controller and play against them.  You might actually like it too.  Does it really matter what the medium is?  Isn't part of the purpose is to be involved?  Yes I know, activities keeps them fit and healthier but they are kids.  Diet has more to do with it than activities.

Kids that play into 15+ are good players in any sports, if playing competitively.  One of the key reasons kids quit is because these they hate sitting on the bench, and they know when that they are not as good as others on the team.  So their attitude is why bother - I'm sick of not playing and just practicing....

So my recommendation is to find another way to stay engaged and keep the family together.  It does require more from the parents, and parents to be adventurous.  Lowering the hammer to essentially say "you can't quit..." really doesn't work for young adults (i.e., 15 yrs+).


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## LadiesMan217 (Mar 3, 2017)

Desert619 said:


> So my 15 year old is done with soccer. Taking him to practice has become a nightmare. It's always a stressful situation getting him to go to practices and games. The problem is he wants to play video games all day. I'm to the point where I just want to give up pushing him. I told him he can pick another sport however he doesn't want to do anything. It's been two years since taking him to practice has turned into a nightmare. What would you do?


eSports are where the money is (forget soccer).  Buy him a good webcam, mic, H1Z1/League/Call of Duty, and give him a room. Have him join Twitch. Let him play all night and weekends. Before you know it he will be brining $20-70K per month in playing sSports. Then he will join a team like Optic Gaming and get an eSport contract for $$$$. The world is changing....


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## chargerfan (Mar 3, 2017)

3-4x per week practice plus games plus tournaments can be tiring for any kid, especially  once they are teens. It's not a surprise many want to quit just to hang out and do other things with their live  except for 24/7 soccer. I wouldn't worry about it, as long as he is staying active doing something else and making decent grades.


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## HBE (Mar 3, 2017)

Desert619 said:


> So my 15 year old is done with soccer. Taking him to practice has become a nightmare. It's always a stressful situation getting him to go to practices and games. The problem is he wants to play video games all day. I'm to the point where I just want to give up pushing him. I told him he can pick another sport however he doesn't want to do anything. It's been two years since taking him to practice has turned into a nightmare. What would you do?


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## NoGoal (Mar 3, 2017)

LadiesMan217 said:


> eSports are where the money is (forget soccer).  Buy him a good webcam, mic, H1Z1/League/Call of Duty, and give him a room. Have him join Twitch. Let him play all night and weekends. Before you know it he will be brining $20-70K per month in playing sSports. Then he will join a team like Optic Gaming and get an eSport contract for $$$$. The world is changing....


Kind of scary that you know so much at eSports.


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## Eusebio (Mar 4, 2017)

I can't give any specific advice since I'm just entering this phase myself with my 14 year-old. I can only share my experience so far.

A couple of years ago, I had a talk with my son and I said we'll be entering a Point of No Return pretty soon. I told him I don't have unlimited money or time and I said by around his 13th birthday, he'll need to decide if he's going to strive to play at the highest level or just play casually with soccer. It was our version of The Decision. 

If he just wanted to play for fun or have a physical activity, then I could just put him in a Rec/bronze league and he could play high school sports. I probably would try to find other activities to challenge him. But if he wanted to continue to play competitive soccer, he had to be all in. I would do my best to keep up financially with all the costs and to train him, but he had to understand it was no longer just about having fun, it was about developing a "craft". He would treat it as an apprenticeship and see it through for as long as it was realistically viable. 

It's obviously a tough decision for a 13 year-old to make, but I believe if you're going to do something at a high level, then you should be fully committed and give your best effort. If you're not prepared to do that, then maybe you're not meant to do it. Club soccer in particular is way too expensive (at least for us) to just go through the motions. 

My son actually decided with little hesitation to continue pursuing soccer at a high level. It actually worried me a bit because I wasn't sure if he fully grasped what I was saying. But he's 14 years-old now and while his video game playing has definitely ticked-up (primarily playing with his friends), his commitment and desire to train and play soccer at a serious level hasn't lessened. He often has a soccer ball at his feet even when he's playing video games. My son is also aware that playing sports at a high level requires social sacrifices and does not complain about missing parties, trips, and etc because of soccer. It's still pretty easy to get him to train at the park on a moment's notice and I'm pretty fortunate that he does treat soccer as a craft. He uses video games as his "fun" and leisure activity to unwind.

That said, I really like Mirage's last post. While my son and I definitely have a bond through soccer, I also play video games with him fairly regularly. In general I've tried to diversify our common interests and activities. So my relationship with my son isn't defined solely through soccer, which I feel is important so he didn't feel like if he dropped soccer, he would also be dropping his dad. We have other common interests (which btw took effort to develop. It didn't happen magically.)

In a few years, my daughter will also approach The Decision point. I'm really curious which way she'll go because she has more of an "All-Around" personality and interests. She also has a stronger desire for social activities. And the end goal for girls and boys soccer is a bit different, so that has to be taken into consideration as well. 

Interesting topic hearing everyone's experiences.


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## Grace T. (Mar 4, 2017)

Eusebio said:


> A couple of years ago, I had a talk with my son and I said we'll be entering a Point of No Return pretty soon. I told him I don't have unlimited money or time and I said by around his 13th birthday, he'll need to decide if he's going to strive to play at the highest level or just play casually with soccer. It was our version of The Decision.
> 
> My son actually decided with little hesitation to continue pursuing soccer at a high level. It actually worried me a bit because I wasn't sure if he fully grasped what I was saying.


This is something new lots of parents of Gen Zers are seeing which wasn't as present for the Millenials and among Gen Xers was maybe present with the parents of Olympic athletes in some sports.  And it's not just limited to soccer.  I hear it among the baseballers and see it on TV with the "Friday Night Tykers" and football.  You see it even among kids playing for youth orchestra, competitive chess (which my son had to drop this year because it's too much), karate and dance.  The kids are having  earlier and earlier to make the commitments without fully grasping the consequences of saying no (and what they might miss out on) or yes (and what that would involve).  And once you say no, with every year it's harder to pick something else up and reach the same level again (the others who have put the time in are just too advanced).

My own son, doing his rookie year on club at u9, had a similar if smaller decision.  He had shown a lot of upside potential on AYSO and had reached the limit on growth there.  While his grandfather was a futboler, and I had done a little up to middle school, we weren't a soccer family at all.  He understands it's a huge stretch to jump from AYSO to Club, particularly a team which has already done Club for a year.  I tried to lay out what it would involve (and he had some idea because over the winter to prep for tryout he had done futsal and picked up a private trainer).  But still I worried that as a u9er he couldn't understand what he was getting himself into.  Well, last night was his first test...the club is picking up the cost of his goalkeeper class with the club trainer and his first session was last night...his friends (including his little "girlfriend") had invited him to a minecraft meet up.  To his credit, before even asking any of us if he could go, he told them "can't...soccer practice".  No doubt that will become a recurring sentence in his vocabulary from what Eusebio wrote.


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## Supermodel56 (Mar 4, 2017)

Have you tried just having a non-confrontational, honest listening session to hear why he doesn't like soccer anymore - beyond just that he wants to play video games...  I recently had a similar experience and while mine is much younger, the reasons were completely different from what I had expected -   after listening, I have to admit my heart broke a bit, but I let it simmer for a while (in a good, non upset way) and then after a few hours started asking what she thought we could all do to address those concerns.... for me, I think what really made the difference was ensuring it didn't become a confrontational event so she felt heard and understood.

Some of the most frustrating moments were times during our discussion when her assumptions and ideas were completely unreasonable and short-sighted - and I had to bite my tongue - instead of lecturing or demeaning the idea, I just said, 'ok' and then after a while asked what if questions so she could see where the end result would lead to on her own... (again, non-confrontationally). It was really complex because there wasn't just one reason, but many, with only a couple of them in my control and others she didn't specifically say, but I could gather just reading between the lines... (such as fear of not making the team). To be honest, this conversation took over a course of a few weeks she ultimately came around but I also had to be prepared to accept it if she didn't.

Again, I'm a total newbie at this but beyond just soccer, I feel like the most important thing we can teach our kids is how to make good choices and think critically. It's not a skill that comes from us constantly telling them what choices to make, rather like soccer, they need to experience and practice it on their own and inject their own creativity. as their life coaches, we can only guide them and help them understand the game - letting them make most of their mistakes in practice by giving them as many opportunities to make choices as possible so they can refine their technique in time for the game when it really counts. 

One more thing, one parent mentioned that they also play video games occasionally with their kids - I haven't done it recently but a little while back I did as well and it truly did help build a bond where we did something fun together, she was able to teach me some things, and it gave me a lot more street cred with her... who knows, maybe having him show you how to play his favorite game might break down some walls?

Wish you the best of luck and please let us know how it turns out!


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## Rusty (Mar 4, 2017)

The rule for my daughters is homework complete, 30 minutes of exercise, and 30 minutes of reading before they get "electronic time."  Exercise can be soccer, basketball, gymnastics, jiu jitsu..basically any physical activity.  I make it 60 minutes a piece on days they have off of school or don't have any extracurriculars (Thursday lol).  Electronic time includes iPads, TV, computer, etc.  It has actually worked pretty well.


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## Surf Zombie (Mar 4, 2017)

Ditto.  With my two ( 9& 7) they don't get to use electronics until after their homework is done and until after sports ( Soccer, Lax, Tennis, Karate) whatever.  Then and only then can they use the computer or iPad for 30-45 per day.  Otherwise my 7 year old would not unplug all day.  This is our policy in response to that.  Days with no sports (a rarity) means no electronics.

It has worked so well with him that he complains on days that he doesn't have sports.  Before we implemented that rule he wasn't very interested in going to practice most days.


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## SoccerFan4Life (Mar 5, 2017)

Our recent punishment policy in our house when they are not behaving is.... No electronics for the day, week, or longer.   It's amazing how they become kids again and suddenly start kicking the ball or doing some other sport. 

 So if he wants to quit soccer, ask him to pick another sport that will keep your child busy with something else and set limits on electronics.  It's easier said than done.


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## mirage (Mar 5, 2017)

Rusty said:


> The rule for my daughters is homework complete, 30 minutes of exercise, and 30 minutes of reading before they get "electronic time."  Exercise can be soccer, basketball, gymnastics, jiu jitsu..basically any physical activity.  I make it 60 minutes a piece on days they have off of school or don't have any extracurriculars (Thursday lol).  Electronic time includes iPads, TV, computer, etc.  It has actually worked pretty well.


This post reminded me that when our kids were younger (until our older kid was 14 or so), we didn't have a game console.  They can't play, if they don't have it.  We now have a PS4 but its in the family room.

What they did have was iPad and a computer (Mac).  So that limited what they could play.  Also we didn't say they could not play; rather, we incentivized them by saying they can play "minute for minute" for book reading time = game time.  We did this until kids were 13 yrs or so.


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## espola (Mar 5, 2017)

mirage said:


> This post reminded me that when our kids were younger (until our older kid was 14 or so), we didn't have a game console.  They can't play, if they don't have it.  We now have a PS4 but its in the family room.
> 
> What they did have was iPad and a computer (Mac).  So that limited what they could play.  Also we didn't say they could not play; rather, we incentivized them by saying they can play "minute for minute" for book reading time = game time.  We did this until kids were 13 yrs or so.


Many years ago (mid-90s?) we had a family gathering at our place.  My brother-in-law's kids brought along their game console and to make sure they could use it, brought along the 25-inch TV it was hooked up to at their house.  It took two of them to carry that monster in.


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## gauchosean (Mar 6, 2017)

When my son told me he didn't want to play soccer anymore I was broken hearted because I loved the sport and he was really good at it. I told him I wouldn't force him to play but he wasn't going to just sit around and do nothing he still had to play a sport. The next summer, the one before 8th grade, he wanted to give tennis a try. It became his new thing, year and half later he made varsity as freshman.  He trains/plays 5 or 6 days a week and I never have to force him to go. He is working his way up the SoCal USTA rankings. 

My only regret is that he didn't start tennis earlier of course if he did he would probably be playing soccer now!


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## SocalSoccerMom (Mar 6, 2017)

outside! said:


> Band and soccer do not mix very well once they hit high school.


Could not agree more. Both require heavy time commitment during the week as well as the weekend especially if doing marching.


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## Mystery Train (Mar 7, 2017)

Lots of good parenting advice in those responses, and like all things parenting, there is not one single right answer for you and your child.  The parents who are encouraging you to let him scratch his video gaming itch make some great points which are contrary to my personal instincts, but I can totally see why that approach could be right for some kids.  I do think that it is critical to put kids -even older teenagers who don't want to be controlled - into situations that are outdoors, technology free, and physically demanding.  Whether that is an organized "sport" or camping/hiking or some other form of exercise or adventure (skiing/snowboarding, surfing, skateboarding), these stimulate growth and development in ways that video games and internet surfing just will never duplicate.  So I'd let the kid quit soccer, but make sure that there is a commitment to engage in something like the above.


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## Goalaso (May 20, 2017)

I just went through the same thing with my 15 year old daughter. She didn't like soccer anymore and we had been arguing for months about her quitting. Finally I gave in to allow her to quit. The good thing is that she still wants to play high school soccer, she really loves playing with her friends. 

She now wants to try theatre at school, although it's not a sport it's something she really wants to try. Since she's almost out of school I will be enrolling her in a youth theatre program during the summer. 

It broke my heart to see her quit but I want her to try different things in high school. Right now is the time for our kids to try new sports or activities so it gives them a better idea of what they want to do in college and adulthood. 

We have talked about her being more mindful of her diet and she knows she has to exercise of her own, so she can still be active. 

Best of luck to everyone going through something like this.


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## Dominic (May 20, 2017)

My 99 son gave up club and picked up weightlifting. He just benched 225 the other day at a body weight of 155.


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## NoGoal (May 20, 2017)

Dominic said:


> My 99 son gave up club and picked up weightlifting. He just benched 225 the other day at a body weight of 155.
> View attachment 945


Impressive, it took my son his college sophomore year  to bench 225 at 150 lbs.  Make sure he doesn't skip leg day


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## Multi Sport (May 20, 2017)

U


outside! said:


> Band and soccer do not mix very well once they hit high school.


Understatement of the year..


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## Dominic (May 20, 2017)

NoGoal said:


> Impressive, it took my son his college sophomore year  to bench 225 at 150 lbs.  Make sure he doesn't skip leg day


No he loves doing squats. His legs already had good size to them due to soccer, and now they are eclipsing his soccer only size.  I miss my kids playing soccer though,  it was a great time for our family.


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## Multi Sport (May 20, 2017)

A p


Desert619 said:


> So my 15 year old is done with soccer. Taking him to practice has become a nightmare. It's always a stressful situation getting him to go to practices and games. The problem is he wants to play video games all day. I'm to the point where I just want to give up pushing him. I told him he can pick another sport however he doesn't want to do anything. It's been two years since taking him to practice has turned into a nightmare. What would you do?


A parents biggest fear, right? I mean, we spend all this $ and our kid wants to quit. If you look at it that way then yea, it sucks. Or... you can look at the time spent together as being well spent.

But that's not what your asking. Video games, personally I hate them but I allow my kids to play them, in moderation. I wouldn't want my kids to be all consumed in anything at 15, even soccer. Too many other things, like school, your faith or other activities to use your time on. 

Options: start a hobby together. Buy a couple of Mountain Bikes and the two of you start to hit the trails together.  If your not good at it, who cares. Your son will probably enjoy watching you suffer.

Another option: play the video games with him. This might actually get him to quit playing.

I have a sister who is 16 years younger then me. My parents got her involved in Softball and they lived Softball 24/7. At 15 my sister was done and told my parents that she no longer wanted to play. So they told her that if she wanted to quit that she would have to go to practice and tell the coach herself, and that terrified her but she agreed to do it. Once she got there she decided she would tell the coach after practice. Well she never did. She went on to earn a scholarship to a D1 school, was named for Collegiate Player of the Year and nominated for an ESPY her senior year. This year she was inducted into the schools Athletic Hall of Fame and had her jersey retired. If you watch any of the College Softball playoffs you might even catch a glimpse of her jersey in left field. Funny thing, at the time she wanted to quit she wasn't even the best player on her team.

What's the point? Know your kid. Every kid is different but they are still kids. Our job is to help them navigate these early years so that they enter adulthood prepared.  

Good luck Desert, and stay cool out there!


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## Goalaso (May 20, 2017)

Dominic said:


> No he loves doing squats. His legs already had good size to them due to soccer, and now they are eclipsing his soccer only size.  I miss my kids playing soccer though,  it was a great time for our family.



I agree. I will miss those soccer playing days so much. I didn't mind the long drives or weekend tournaments. It gave me a good excuse to have one of the "talks" with her; either about boys, drugs, college, etc.


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## Bananacorner (May 20, 2017)

Eusebio said:


> I can't give any specific advice since I'm just entering this phase myself with my 14 year-old. I can only share my experience so far.
> 
> A couple of years ago, I had a talk with my son and I said we'll be entering a Point of No Return pretty soon. I told him I don't have unlimited money or time and I said by around his 13th birthday, he'll need to decide if he's going to strive to play at the highest level or just play casually with soccer. It was our version of The Decision.
> 
> ...


I did the same thing - have "the talk."  They need to buy in to the commitment. My counter to my U14 was lower-level play/ team with instant stardom and more flexibility to play other sports/do other activities. I want to make sure the decisions are her own, and I'm not trying to force my needs or desires into her. 

She has to want it and want it bad, or it's all a waste of time.  She has to find what she is passionate about and pursue it while she is still young and free to explore. These kids have plenty of time after college and/or graduate school to compromise their dreams and fall into a boring, monotonous job with good pay but no way out  - or follow their dreams and find it pays less than being a waiter.


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## timbuck (May 21, 2017)

Bananacorner said:


> I did the same thing - have "the talk."  They need to buy in to the commitment. My counter to my U14 was lower-level play/ team with instant stardom and more flexibility to play other sports/do other activities. I want to make sure the decisions are her own, and I'm not trying to force my needs or desires into her.
> 
> She has to want it and want it bad, or it's all a waste of time.  She has to find what she is passionate about and pursue it while she is still young and free to explore. These kids have plenty of time after college and/or graduate school to compromise their dreams and fall into a boring, monotonous job with good pay but no way out  - or follow their dreams and find it pays less than being a waiter.


Saw this quote the other day and seems appropriate here:
"Your salary is the bribe they pay you to forget your dreams"


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## Striker17 (May 21, 2017)

timbuck said:


> Saw this quote the other day and seems appropriate here:
> "Your salary is the bribe they pay you to forget your dreams"


Or you can teach your child how to be a functional adult and marry their passions with a life. Not all us hate going to "work" which is why we are successful.
Shocker


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## Bananacorner (May 21, 2017)

Striker17 said:


> Or you can teach your child how to be a functional adult and marry their passions with a life. Not all us hate going to "work" which is why we are successful.
> Shocker


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## Striker17 (May 21, 2017)

Bananacorner said:


>


I know raising a successful child sucks huh. Why don't you all go cry in your cereal?
Or better yet have your daughter chase her dreams to the NWPSL? Sounds great!


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## Bananacorner (May 21, 2017)

Striker17 said:


> I know raising a successful child sucks huh. Why don't you all go cry in your cereal?
> Or better yet have your daughter chase her dreams to the NWPSL? Sounds great!


Dude you are wound way too tight.  man you are as concrete as a slab of fine masonry -- do I have to spell it out to you?  IT WAS A JOKE!  you know, like Ha ha?  Maybe you've heard of them, its things people say to make light of things. 

You know, marijuana is legal in California now.


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## Bananacorner (May 21, 2017)

BTW, I'm glad you have found your dream job of cleaning laterals so fulfilling.  Go get em!


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## chargerfan (May 21, 2017)

Bananacorner said:


> BTW, I'm glad you have found your dream job of cleaning laterals so fulfilling.  Go get em!


That is very insulting to people, including several people on this forum I'm sure, who do this or a similar type of work. In a lame attempt to insult striker17, you have insulted hardworking people who do jobs that most of us couldn't handle. Bravo.


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## chargerfan (May 21, 2017)

Bananacorner said:


> BTW, I'm glad you have found your dream job of cleaning laterals so fulfilling.  Go get em!



And another informative thread hijacked by someone who feels the need to insult other posters.


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## Bananacorner (May 21, 2017)

chargerfan said:


> And another informative thread hijacked by someone who feels the need to insult other posters.





chargerfan said:


> That is very insulting to people, including several people on this forum I'm sure, who do this or a similar type of work. In a lame attempt to insult striker17, you have insulted hardworking people who do jobs that most of us couldn't handle. Bravo.


You can't be serious. Please see above regarding legal marijuana.  Anyone who does this or similar for a living has a sense of humor 100x better than yours, I have no doubt.  Only someone who sits at a desk for a living, hates it and pretends it's what they always wanted would be posting the crap you and Striker are posting. 

You really should pick another site to peruse - this one isn't for you. Try this one. 

http://m.topix.com/forum/news/topix/TT7RUK9S6Q6SNRVUR


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## Striker17 (May 21, 2017)

@chargerfan hit the ignore button he's clearly projecting and clueless. Save yourself the headache


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## Bananacorner (May 21, 2017)

Oh @chargerfan and @Striker17 I'm so sorry I hurt your sensitive little feelings.... please forgive me so I can learn how to live a completely happy and fulfilled life like you!!


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## coachrefparent (May 22, 2017)

Sage advice:


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## SoccerFan4Life (May 22, 2017)

So going back to the topic..... This Just happened to me. My son said "Im done with the soccer, done with the yelling by the coaches, done with the pressure".   I was sad but knew this day would come.  I signed him up to cross country and he still needs to go 2 days a week and will be doing 5k/10k races once a month.    To me, I just want to keep my kids busy and get them to find passion for something outside of video games.  

My question to the forum is this.... Do kids now a days have less passion for sports than our generation??   The reason I ask is that ratings are down for most sports on TV.  Kids now a days have everything they want on their smart phone and computer.     Personally I think that our middle income kids are getting soft compared to previous generations.  Things are too easy for them nowadays. School work is tough but other than that, everything else is just instant.


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## outside! (May 22, 2017)

I walked to school in the snow, uphill, both ways.

While some things may be easier, this generation has its own stresses to carry.


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## Grace T. (May 22, 2017)

SoccerFan4Life said:


> So going back to the topic..... This Just happened to me. My son said "Im done with the soccer, done with the yelling by the coaches, done with the pressure".   I was sad but knew this day would come.  I signed him up to cross country and he still needs to go 2 days a week and will be doing 5k/10k races once a month.    To me, I just want to keep my kids busy and get them to find passion for something outside of video games.
> 
> My question to the forum is this.... Do kids now a days have less passion for sports than our generation??   The reason I ask is that ratings are down for most sports on TV.  Kids now a days have everything they want on their smart phone and computer.     Personally I think that our middle income kids are getting soft compared to previous generations.  Things are too easy for them nowadays. School work is tough but other than that, everything else is just instant.


Generational study is tough...too many exceptions and too much extrapolations.  But, from the talks I've been to about Gen Z (hard to say when it starts...some say we should start counting as of those that cannot remember the time before 9/11, while others say it comes with the availability with the iphone...I lean heavily towards the latter) it's actually quite the opposite.  Unlike the Millenials, they haven't been coddled.  School is tracked much more rigorously.  Colleges are much more competitive.  Club sports dominates not just soccer but other activities.  Winning has been emphasized unlike the AYSO everyone wins a trophy days.    That said, because of their interconnectivity, and because they are practically addicted to their phones, they do want more instant gratification.  Sports ratings are down on TV not because of the sports...it's because of the TV....these are kids that have been raised nonlinearly...activities which don't interconnect with them aren't interesting and many get their sports on their phones....their TV viewing time is down dramatically and the golden age of TV we are in now might not survive the Millenials.  And if anything it's harder for them than either Gen. X or the Millenials because there is more competition for (arguably) fewer opportunities.  The big thing we don't really know about them is how they react when they lose on a large scale basis or face adversity (unlike the Millenials...and the answer there has been surprising...they've actually broken into 2 distinct subgroups).


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## timbuck (May 22, 2017)

SoccerFan4Life said:


> So going back to the topic..... This Just happened to me. My son said "Im done with the soccer, done with the yelling by the coaches, done with the pressure".   I was sad but knew this day would come.  I signed him up to cross country and he still needs to go 2 days a week and will be doing 5k/10k races once a month.    To me, I just want to keep my kids busy and get them to find passion for something outside of video games.
> 
> My question to the forum is this.... Do kids now a days have less passion for sports than our generation??   The reason I ask is that ratings are down for most sports on TV.  Kids now a days have everything they want on their smart phone and computer.     Personally I think that our middle income kids are getting soft compared to previous generations.  Things are too easy for them nowadays. School work is tough but other than that, everything else is just instant.


I think that kids get caught up in a single sport too early and they lose the passion for that sport.  But then it's too late to pick up something else and video games are easier.


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## JJP (May 22, 2017)

SoccerFan4Life said:


> My question to the forum is this.... Do kids now a days have less passion for sports than our generation??   The reason I ask is that ratings are down for most sports on TV.  Kids now a days have everything they want on their smart phone and computer.     Personally I think that our middle income kids are getting soft compared to previous generations.  Things are too easy for them nowadays. School work is tough but other than that, everything else is just instant.


Great question, I've wondered the same myself.  My son has also said he might quit academy soccer or soccer entirely because it takes up too much of his time, and play other sports, that take less time and are more fun for him.  I've told him take a break at end of season, but definitely play HS soccer at least.  Once I looked over his coursework and homework, I told him I'm fine with whatever decision he makes.

Compared to when I was a kid, the level of training is unbelievable.  The coaches are better, there are hi quality DVDs that show you how to train basic wall ball and cone drills that I never knew about as a kid.  You can watch the best players on YouTube in slo mo and copy their moves.  When I was a kid, I would watch the best players do something on poor quality, non-HD tv, see the slo mo and reverse slo mo replays and take my best guess at what they had done, and usually get it wrong.

But because of all this training, all the other kids are good too, all the low lying fruit has been picked, so every kid has to dig deeper to stand out and make the top teams and get playing time.  It's a grind and time consuming to improve at this point, and a lot of kids are probably worn out by the grind.

Plus, as you said, the honors classes are way more difficult and cover a lot more material than they used to.  It takes time to do this homework.  I told him he's better off doing honors classes and whatever high school sports he can squeeze in, rather than doing academy and non-honors classes.

There' only so many hours in a day.  Unless your kid is both an exceptional and natural student and athlete, and is mature beyond normal teens as to time management, something has to give.


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## JackZ (May 23, 2017)

To add, somewhat off topic, many parents are pulling their kids from public/private school and home schooling so that they may train a sport or art without the added time sinks of long school days/commutes. 

Also, there's the new gap year thing, which is taking a year off between Jr. High and HS, so the child can mature more prior to entering HS.


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## chargerfan (May 23, 2017)

JackZ said:


> To add, somewhat off topic, many parents are pulling their kids from public/private school and home schooling so that they may train a sport or art without the added time sinks of long school days/commutes.
> 
> Also, there's the new gap year thing, which is taking a year off between Jr. High and HS, so the child can mature more prior to entering HS.


The sad thing is, I can't tell if you're joking.


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## Grace T. (May 23, 2017)

chargerfan said:


> The sad thing is, I can't tell if you're joking.


Sadly, I doubt it (see link below).  Families these days are hypercompetitively, looking for every advantage, and it's the extreme version of redshirting that's been going on in elementary schools for a while.  The downside of homeschooling for high school, of course, is it doesn't give you an academic transcript so you are putting all your eggs either in the sports basket or in academic testing (SATs, APs, equivalency tests).

https://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2014/05/repeating-the-8th-grade/371814/


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## Goalaso (May 23, 2017)

JackZ said:


> Also, there's the new gap year thing, which is taking a year off between Jr. High and HS, so the child can mature more prior to entering HS.


I've heard of this and know parents who've done this. Big in football.


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## Bananacorner (May 23, 2017)

Goalaso said:


> I've heard of this and know parents who've done this. Big in football.


Agree, that is where I see it, where high school is the place to be recruited.  

Not as helpful in soccer where club system, not high school, is where most kids get recruited and it is based on birth year not grade.  Also wouldn't work in swim, where US Swim is based on age of swimmer, not grade, or other sports that have become primarily club-based.


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## Striker17 (May 23, 2017)

chargerfan said:


> The sad thing is, I can't tell if you're joking.


He's not it's happening and has nothing to do with birth year.


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## chargerfan (May 23, 2017)

Striker17 said:


> He's not it's happening and has nothing to do with birth year.


Anyone this insane should not be allowed to parent.


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## chargerfan (May 23, 2017)

Grace T. said:


> Sadly, I doubt it (see link below).  Families these days are hypercompetitively, looking for every advantage, and it's the extreme version of redshirting that's been going on in elementary schools for a while.  The downside of homeschooling for high school, of course, is it doesn't give you an academic transcript so you are putting all your eggs either in the sports basket or in academic testing (SATs, APs, equivalency tests).
> 
> https://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2014/05/repeating-the-8th-grade/371814/


They also need to consider the emotional and social impact this will have on their child. Both holding your child back and homeschooling, unless academically necessary, are not beneficial in any way. Sports just aren't that important!


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## Multi Sport (May 23, 2017)

chargerfan said:


> They also need to consider the emotional and social impact this will have on their child. Both holding your child back and homeschooling, unless academically necessary, are not beneficial in any way. Sports just aren't that important!


That depends on your situation. I'm guessing there are certain situations that a person thinks that it makes sense. Personally, for me and my family, no.


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## Dargle (May 23, 2017)

chargerfan said:


> They also need to consider the emotional and social impact this will have on their child. Both holding your child back and homeschooling, unless academically necessary, are not beneficial in any way. Sports just aren't that important!


Without speaking to the merits of homeschooling, I think the primary reason parents started doing it nationally was religious objection to the teachings in the public schools.  The primary reason parents have historically done it in LA has been to further their kid's entertainment career, where they want you to drop everything on a moment's notice to audition for a part and where school is often interrupted for jobs.  Sports as a reason for home schooling has in the past been primarily when the sport is very focused on young kids, requires long practice time and faraway tournaments/performances, and is not offered in schools (e.g., gymnastics and ice skating).  Pulling kids out for team sports is a very new phenomenon, but the line between home schooling and regular school is increasingly blurred, especially with the development of online schools.  The LA Galaxy Academy school, for instance, is basically online instruction with some tutors and mandatory study halls and a few labs and group projects thrown in.


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## JJP (May 23, 2017)

Grace T. said:


> Sadly, I doubt it (see link below).  Families these days are hypercompetitively, looking for every advantage, and it's the extreme version of redshirting that's been going on in elementary schools for a while.  The downside of homeschooling for high school, of course, is it doesn't give you an academic transcript so you are putting all your eggs either in the sports basket or in academic testing (SATs, APs, equivalency tests).
> 
> https://www.theatlantic.com/education/archive/2014/05/repeating-the-8th-grade/371814/


The red shirting goes on in sports where recruiting is done by high school graduating class, not birth year. It's a huge problem in football, and it's a serious problem in lacrosse, because it works.  In physical contact sports, an extra year of growth and strength is a huge advantage.

The college coaches don't care because the benefits of an extra year maturity extend even to college years.  Jimmy Clausen, who attended a premier prep school in So. Cal. (maybe Harvard Westlake), redshirted two years (repeated 6th and 8th grade I believe).  He was a starting QB at Norte Dame and 2d round pick in the NFL, so it does work sometimes.  It sure must be easier to be a "freshman QB sensation" when you are actually a junior.

I think what kicked off all this was Malcolm Gladwell's book Outliers where most of the best hockey players were born close to Jan. 1, the age cutoff date in hockey.  The Sept. to Dec. babies got pushed back because parents didn't like older kids beating up on them, then the Aug. babies were the youngest, so they got pushed back, and the dominoes kept falling.

I don't understand homeschooling at all.  Why would I want to study all the stuff I never learned in school so I could screw up my kid's education?


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## TangoCity (May 23, 2017)

Jimmy Clausen = Oaks Christian

Will Smith, Joe Montana and Clay Mathews kids were also there all 'around' the same time.


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## Striker17 (May 23, 2017)

JJP said:


> The red shirting goes on in sports where recruiting is done by high school graduating class, not birth year. It's a huge problem in football, and it's a serious problem in lacrosse, because it works.  In physical contact sports, an extra year of growth and strength is a huge advantage.
> 
> The college coaches don't care because the benefits of an extra year maturity extend even to college years.  Jimmy Clausen, who attended a premier prep school in So. Cal. (maybe Harvard Westlake), redshirted two years (repeated 6th and 8th grade I believe).  He was a starting QB at Norte Dame and 2d round pick in the NFL, so it does work sometimes.  It sure must be easier to be a "freshman QB sensation" when you are actually a junior.
> 
> ...


Funny you mention lacrosse- one I knew transferred from a great school here as a junior to a prep school on the East coast. Due to the transfer he was allowed to become a junior again - they cited concerns as academics as parents but it was clear they wanted to have him compete for lacrosse. 
It worked . Transferred as a Jr. ended up playing two years there and Duke scholarship. 
Quite frankly why is everyone in a hurry to grow up anyway? 
Holding one of mine back in fourth grade for maturity was one of he best things I ever did


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## Grace T. (May 23, 2017)

JJP said:


> The red shirting goes on in sports where recruiting is done by high school graduating class, not birth year. It's a huge problem in football, and it's a serious problem in lacrosse, because it works.  In physical contact sports, an extra year of growth and strength is a huge advantage.



Red shirting has been going on academically as well, particularly with the rise of J/K.   The parents with kids with June, July, August and September birthdays are at enrollment being increasingly told to wait a year, and put their kids in J/K so they will be the oldest in the class, as opposed to the youngest (like I was).  The thought is that they'll be more socially and mentally ready for the coursework, which is being pushed at earlier ages (and the schools these days are all about performance and maintaining their high test scores).  If the child is on the younger end and is struggling before going to middle school or (apparently from the article) even high school, the parents might get the same recommendation to repeat a year.


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## Multi Sport (May 23, 2017)

I had someone tell me that they wish their parents would have held them back a grade or put him in school later. He felt that if he was a year older that he would have been drafted sooner in the NFL and it would have meant more money for him. 

http://www.businessinsider.com/nfl-draft-contract-values-2015-4


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## JJP (May 23, 2017)

Striker17 said:


> Funny you mention lacrosse- one I knew transferred from a great school here as a junior to a prep school on the East coast. Due to the transfer he was allowed to become a junior again - they cited concerns as academics as parents but it was clear they wanted to have him compete for lacrosse.
> It worked . Transferred as a Jr. ended up playing two years there and Duke scholarship.
> Quite frankly why is everyone in a hurry to grow up anyway?
> Holding one of mine back in fourth grade for maturity was one of he best things I ever did





Multi Sport said:


> I had someone tell me that they wish their parents would have held them back a grade or put him in school later. He felt that if he was a year older that he would have been drafted sooner in the NFL and it would have meant more money for him.
> 
> http://www.businessinsider.com/nfl-draft-contract-values-2015-4


Both these posts make a lot of sense to me.  The whole point of the first chapter of Outliers was that the "oldest" in an age group were ridiculously over-represented among the elite players.  So if you redshirt for a year, making that kid older relative to his age group, his chances of being "elite" are a lot higher.  It's a lot easier to look like a superstar with an extra year of physical maturity.

The problem is when you get to the point when so many kids are held back a year that red shirting loses its advantage.  So then to get back the advantage of being the oldest, kids get redshirted for two years.  I've heard in football some kids are redshirted three years.  Imagine a 21 year DI athlete on the same high school football or lacrosse field as a decent 14 year old high school freshman.  IMO, that's a dangerous situation and totally unfair to the non-redshirters.

The point to remember is that for every advantage gained by a redshirted athlete, those advantages are gained at the expense of non-redshirted athletes who now have to compete with kids that are older and more mature.

I'm not saying redshirting should be banned because every kid is different, and some kids need an extra year.  But I do think there has to be a maximum age, say the kid has to be 18 or younger by 9/1, in order to be able to get on the field in high school.


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## Striker17 (May 23, 2017)

JJP said:


> Both these posts make a lot of sense to me.  The whole point of the first chapter of Outliers was that the "oldest" in an age group were ridiculously over-represented among the elite players.  So if you redshirt for a year, making that kid older relative to his age group, his chances of being "elite" are a lot higher.  It's a lot easier to look like a superstar with an extra year of physical maturity.
> 
> The problem is when you get to the point when so many kids are held back a year that red shirting loses its advantage.  So then to get back the advantage of being the oldest, kids get redshirted for two years.  I've heard in football some kids are redshirted three years.  Imagine a 21 year DI athlete on the same high school football or lacrosse field as a decent 14 year old high school freshman.  IMO, that's a dangerous situation and totally unfair to the non-redshirters.
> 
> ...


I like your last paragraph a lot- makes great common sense to me. 
Again what one friend did was transfer his kid to an east coast boarding school for an additional year of high school- like a gap year program. He played athletics there- I don't know he logistics and the how's that that occurred but I think it was similar to what the USAFA has as their "prep school" and fed into a well known athletics program. 
Not every kid gets recruited right out of high school and not every kid wants that exact path either.
His kid has an extra year to learn how to be a student, grow up, get stronger as being a D1 athlete was a lot different than high school so when he finally hit the field he was an impact player. 
This kid was a star previously- but he wanted to be better than that in his mind. Looking from the outside I remember being very confused by the path. Just food for thought I really appreciate your dialogue and insights.


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## Multi Sport (May 24, 2017)

JJP said:


> Both these posts make a lot of sense to me.  The whole point of the first chapter of Outliers was that the "oldest" in an age group were ridiculously over-represented among the elite players.  So if you redshirt for a year, making that kid older relative to his age group, his chances of being "elite" are a lot higher.  It's a lot easier to look like a superstar with an extra year of physical maturity.
> 
> The problem is when you get to the point when so many kids are held back a year that red shirting loses its advantage.  So then to get back the advantage of being the oldest, kids get redshirted for two years.  I've heard in football some kids are redshirted three years.  Imagine a 21 year DI athlete on the same high school football or lacrosse field as a decent 14 year old high school freshman.  IMO, that's a dangerous situation and totally unfair to the non-redshirters.
> 
> ...


There already is an age limit to play HS sports. I believe it's 19.5 years...


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## Soccerlife (May 24, 2017)

Multi Sport said:


> I had someone tell me that they wish their parents would have held them back a grade or put him in school later. He felt that if he was a year older that he would have been drafted sooner in the NFL and it would have meant more money for him.
> 
> http://www.businessinsider.com/nfl-draft-contract-values-2015-4


I can see where your friend is coming from about being drafted sooner in the NFL but much of the research points to lower lifetime earnings for those who are redshirted. For example, would he have had to retire a year earlier because he would have been too old to play and would have missed an entire year of earnings. 

"And finally, parents should bear in mind that redshirting can even have an effect on their child’s economic future. Starting school at age 6 instead of age 5 means heading off to college at age 19 instead of age 18. (Perhaps spending an extra year with a teenager in the house is another cost to consider!) Then the student graduates from college and enters the workforce at age 23 instead of age 22. The redshirted individual will ultimately spend one less year in the labor force and forgo the returns of an extra year of experience throughout his working life. Assuming that, as research seems to indicate, being redshirted has no net long-term impacts on skill level, we can estimate the cost of losing that year in the labor force for a college-educated male who retires at age 67. Over the course of the worker’s career, working full time and year-round, he can expect to earn $80,000 less."

http://educationnext.org/is-your-child-ready-kindergarten-redshirting-may-do-more-harm-than-good/


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## Wez (May 24, 2017)

Desert619 said:


> It's been two years since taking him to practice has turned into a nightmare.


Let him quit 2 years ago?

I usually try and turn it around on my son if he pushes back on a practice.

Kid:  "Ugh, practice"
Me:  "You don't have to go, call Coach _____ and let him know you don't feel like going to practice today"

That's usually enough.  If the pushback persists, then I'd start to worry.


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## Multi Sport (May 24, 2017)

Soccerlife said:


> I can see where your friend is coming from about being drafted sooner in the NFL but much of the research points to lower lifetime earnings for those who are redshirted. For example, would he have had to retire a year earlier because he would have been too old to play and would have missed an entire year of earnings.
> 
> "And finally, parents should bear in mind that redshirting can even have an effect on their child’s economic future. Starting school at age 6 instead of age 5 means heading off to college at age 19 instead of age 18. (Perhaps spending an extra year with a teenager in the house is another cost to consider!) Then the student graduates from college and enters the workforce at age 23 instead of age 22. The redshirted individual will ultimately spend one less year in the labor force and forgo the returns of an extra year of experience throughout his working life. Assuming that, as research seems to indicate, being redshirted has no net long-term impacts on skill level, we can estimate the cost of losing that year in the labor force for a college-educated male who retires at age 67. Over the course of the worker’s career, working full time and year-round, he can expect to earn $80,000 less."
> 
> http://educationnext.org/is-your-child-ready-kindergarten-redshirting-may-do-more-harm-than-good/


Some good points..


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## Bananacorner (May 24, 2017)

Wez said:


> Let him quit 2 years ago?
> 
> I usually try and turn it around on my son if he pushes back on a practice.
> 
> ...


Ha, that's what I do (although I tell DD to text him) -- works every time!


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## Wez (May 24, 2017)

Bananacorner said:


> Ha, that's what I do (although I tell DD to text him) -- works every time!


Text is way too easy...


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## Desert619 (May 24, 2017)

Wez said:


> Let him quit 2 years ago?
> 
> I usually try and turn it around on my son if he pushes back on a practice.
> 
> ...



Never thought of that! Right now I tell him if he doesn't go to practice he loses all his electronics and phone till he goes to the next practice. which means he wouldn't have access for days. He ends up going but it's never without an argument. He says he hates soccer that I made him hate it. His grades are average nothing to brag about. I told him if he can swing a 4.0 I'll let him quit, but that's not going to happen. 

 It bugs me to see him on the computer when he's not in school or at practice. I mean give me a break it's 2-3 times a week out of 7. The other 4-5 he has to himself to play hours and hours of his stupid games.


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## uburoi (May 24, 2017)

This is a super interesting topic and one I never thought I'd consider. My DS just hit double digits and if he's not playing he's on the gadgets. It's always too much. My DD is a teenager and if she's not playing she's with her friends. I can't imagine ever telling them to practice since the only way to play well is to enjoy it. There are too many other ways for us and them to spend time if they don't love doing this. Us parents need to remember that.


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## timbuck (May 24, 2017)

They should be "playing soccer" not "working soccer".  
My middle kid (she is 9) is with what I consider to be an awesome coach.   The other day she told me "I don't like practice.  I just want to play in games.  Practice is so boring."  
It was eye opening to hear this.  I love his coaching style and I see the kids improving.  But it needs to click with your kid. She'll be sticking with this team, but I'm going to try and help her find the fun some more.  She'll be having lots of pool time and sleepovers with her teammates this summer.


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## Wez (May 24, 2017)

Desert619 said:


> Never thought of that! Right now I tell him if he doesn't go to practice he loses all his electronics and phone till he goes to the next practice. which means he wouldn't have access for days. He ends up going but it's never without an argument. He says he hates soccer that I made him hate it. His grades are average nothing to brag about. I told him if he can swing a 4.0 I'll let him quit, but that's not going to happen.
> 
> It bugs me to see him on the computer when he's not in school or at practice. I mean give me a break it's 2-3 times a week out of 7. The other 4-5 he has to himself to play hours and hours of his stupid games.


Gotta back off.  The pushing kids into things mistake is as old as parenthood.  A kids success is 90% self driven, all we can do is try and make it easier for them to succeed by staying positive.


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## rainbow_unicorn (May 25, 2017)

timbuck said:


> They should be "playing soccer" not "working soccer".
> My middle kid (she is 9) is with what I consider to be an awesome coach.   The other day she told me "I don't like practice.  I just want to play in games.  Practice is so boring."
> It was eye opening to hear this.  I love his coaching style and I see the kids improving.  But it needs to click with your kid. She'll be sticking with this team, but I'm going to try and help her find the fun some more.  She'll be having lots of pool time and sleepovers with her teammates this summer.


Mine said the exact same thing...they do a lot of skills work during practice...almost never scrimmage.  I had to explain that if you don't practice, you don't get better, kids around you get better, and then you start losing a lot more games.  I also had to remind her that if you don't get better then there are plenty of kids on the team below her that are willing to take her spot.  She hasn't complained about practice since.  

This thread is a bit appalling to me since my personal experience was that I had to fight my parents to have an opportunity to play soccer growing up.  If my kid wants to quit I am perfectly fine with that...as long as that time is not substituted with screen/TV/video games.


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## Bananacorner (May 25, 2017)

rainbow_unicorn said:


> Mine said the exact same thing...they do a lot of skills work during practice...almost never scrimmage.  I had to explain that if you don't practice, you don't get better, kids around you get better, and then you start losing a lot more games.  I also had to remind her that if you don't get better then there are plenty of kids on the team below her that are willing to take her spot.  She hasn't complained about practice since.
> 
> This thread is a bit appalling to me since my personal experience was that I had to fight my parents to have an opportunity to play soccer growing up.  If my kid wants to quit I am perfectly fine with that...as long as that time is not substituted with screen/TV/video games.


Times are a'changing.  My parents could've cared less if I played growing up either.  They would have preferred if I had quit, less driving for them.  And they certainly didn't want to sign me up for the expensive summer camps at the local university (although I talked them into it a couple of times).  But things are different now.  People realize how important and enriching sports can be in a kids' life.  Don't be appalled because they want their child to experience and get all the benefits that sports can offer.  Sports nowadays require so much more commitment and time than they did when we were kids, and when the kids play high level, the pressure is enormous.  There are coaches shouting, parents shouting, sometimes pointing out every single mistake a kid makes in a game, and even at practice.  Parents are the worst - making comments that don't even coincide with what the kids are being taught by the coach (I usually tell those parents to zip it).   So I don't blame my kid for sometimes wondering if she is "up" for going to practice where she knows every time she touches the ball she is being scrutinized, and her team mates will call her out for almost every mistake.  I just hope that if she has the passion to continue putting herself out there, and I will do anything I can do to help her.


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## Multi Sport (May 25, 2017)

Desert619 said:


> He ends up going but it's never without an argument. He says he hates soccer that I made him hate it.


I gave myself a five minute rule. I'm only allowed to discuss/critique my kids game or practice for five minutes on the drive home but my kid has to give me their undivided attention. No looking out the window , texting or one earbud in. They need to be engaged in the conversation, if not, the time starts over. Of course you can talk longer but only if your kid wants too. Lastly,  try to find at least one positive point each time. If I couldn't find one then I would tell my kid "well at least you had a good hair day today" .


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## Grace T. (May 25, 2017)

rainbow_unicorn said:


> Mine said the exact same thing...they do a lot of skills work during practice...almost never scrimmage.  I had to explain that if you don't practice, you don't get better, kids around you get better, and then you start losing a lot more games.  .


Your coach must be giving the US Soccer and CalSouth methodology the massive finger.  See my post on the E License, but the gist of the US Soccer/Cal South methodology is, in short, all srimmage all the time.  Skills work is supposed to be limited to the warm up (phase 1), progressing to small sided exercise, mid sided exercise, and (they couldn't emphasize enough) always always always ending in scrimmage.  So your kid, particularly if trained previously in the US Soccer methodology, might have a point of complaint.  My own take on it is the methodology has its pluses and minuses, and I think it works better with the olders than the younger.  The theory is that kids learn in realistic situations and by having fun.


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## chargerfan (May 25, 2017)

Grace T. said:


> Your coach must be giving the US Soccer and CalSouth methodology the massive finger.  See my post on the E License, but the gist of the US Soccer/Cal South methodology is, in short, all srimmage all the time.  Skills work is supposed to be limited to the warm up (phase 1), progressing to small sided exercise, mid sided exercise, and (they couldn't emphasize enough) always always always ending in scrimmage.  So your kid, particularly if trained previously in the US Soccer methodology, might have a point of complaint.  My own take on it is the methodology has its pluses and minuses, and I think it works better with the olders than the younger.  The theory is that kids learn in realistic situations and by having fun.


I understand ending all practices with a scrimmage. They get to use what they learned that day in a practical way. Now, if you spend half or more of practice scrimmaging, that's hadn't coaching.


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## Bananacorner (May 25, 2017)

chargerfan said:


> I understand ending all practices with a scrimmage. They get to use what they learned that day in a practical way. Now, if you spend half or more of practice scrimmaging, that's hadn't coaching.


Agreed, half or more of the practice scrimmage is just lazy coaching.  It is easy and you need no training whatsoever to set up 2 sides and then say, "Play!" and then go stand to the side and look at your phone.  A parent can do that and let the coach go home or on to the next practice. 

Now if the coach is consistently stopping play during scrimmage, talking about what specific scenarios, decisions made vs. other possible decisions, moving players around, etc, that THAT is hard work and the coach deserves every penny he makes for coaching like that.


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## Multi Sport (May 25, 2017)

Bananacorner said:


> Now if the coach is consistently stopping play during scrimmage, talking about what specific scenarios, decisions made vs. other possible decisions, moving players around, etc, that THAT is hard work and the coach deserves every penny he makes for coaching like that.


Just think how much better this would be if there were two coaches who were on the same page, but one watching and talking to the GK and backs and the other more focused on watching mids and forwards. But that would mean paying two coaches...


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## Grace T. (May 25, 2017)

Bananacorner said:


> Now if the coach is consistently stopping play during scrimmage, talking about what specific scenarios, decisions made vs. other possible decisions, moving players around, etc, that THAT is hard work and the coach deserves every penny he makes for coaching like that.


That is the idea behind the US Soccer methodology and what coaches are supposed to be doing in stage 2, 3 and (more rarely) 4....they call it the "freeze" method.  They also recognize the limits of not having 2 coaches....it's why the coach is supposed to be focused only on the attackers/defenders/fw/mid/def/gk (depending on his topic)....in my exercise, for example, I was reprimanded for giving the keeper (my son) a teaching point when the exercise was supposed to be focused on the wingers.


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## Multi Sport (May 25, 2017)

Grace T. said:


> That is the idea behind the US Soccer methodology and what coaches are supposed to be doing in stage 2, 3 and (more rarely) 4....they call it the "freeze" method.  They also recognize the limits of not having 2 coaches....it's why the coach is supposed to be focused only on the attackers/defenders/fw/mid/def/gk (depending on his topic)....*in my exercise, for example, I was reprimanded for giving the keeper (my son) a teaching point when the exercise was supposed to be focused on the wingers*.


This seems so counter productive. Any teaching point should be embraced...


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## JJP (May 25, 2017)

Desert619 said:


> Never thought of that! Right now I tell him if he doesn't go to practice he loses all his electronics and phone till he goes to the next practice. which means he wouldn't have access for days. He ends up going but it's never without an argument. He says he hates soccer that I made him hate it. His grades are average nothing to brag about. I told him if he can swing a 4.0 I'll let him quit, but that's not going to happen.
> 
> It bugs me to see him on the computer when he's not in school or at practice. I mean give me a break it's 2-3 times a week out of 7. The other 4-5 he has to himself to play hours and hours of his stupid games.


This is the heart of the problem.

Organized soccer is probably not as fun as it should be.  Travel.  Coaches getting mad, parents getting frustrated.  Car rides home after a long drive and a shitty game.  And I'm as guilty as anyone out there.  I'd love to have a neighborhood of great kid players living nearby that would play pickup with each other for a couple hours a day.

But that neighborhood doesn't exist anymore.  There has to be a critical mass of players, and video games and multiple sports choices are siphoning off the critical mass of players needed for neighborhood balling.

So you end up with a kid not enjoying organized sports and no informal neighborhood games to turn to, so they shut themselves in their room with their phone, beats headphones, and computer.

And then Mom and dad are trying to figure out, how do I motivate this kid.


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## Striker17 (May 25, 2017)

I have to say I disagree a tad on this now. I am happy he DA came about and added 9. Yes dilution occurred but frankly every one can and should have the ability to play in their neighborhood now. 
I really wish this would happen and people would stay at their local clubs.


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## jrcaesar (May 25, 2017)

Striker17 said:


> Yes dilution occurred but frankly every one can and should have the ability to play in their neighborhood now.
> I really wish this would happen and people would stay at their local clubs.


That's the thing: Families have to commit to doing that. The Slammers or Galaxy(TM) franchise is the "new" model, but doesn't have to be the better model. (But they do, in general, pay to have better fields.) 

Also coaches have to commit to bringing in pairs/trios of friends to build a team. Takes work. Hard to make money that way.


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## chargerfan (May 25, 2017)

Striker17 said:


> I have to say I disagree a tad on this now. I am happy he DA came about and added 9. Yes dilution occurred but frankly every one can and should have the ability to play in their neighborhood now.
> I really wish this would happen and people would stay at their local clubs.


But I think this is part of the reason we see movement from local clubs. A local club that only offers presidio, scdsl or csl is no longer enough for a lot of parents. I really think there should be one league per geographic area, with a couple ecnl/Da teams to cater to the "special" players. 

I understand your reasoning though. I'm just seeing several local clubs go under because they don't offer the acronyms that parents like.


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## rainbow_unicorn (May 25, 2017)

Grace T. said:


> Your coach must be giving the US Soccer and CalSouth methodology the massive finger.  See my post on the E License, but the gist of the US Soccer/Cal South methodology is, in short, all srimmage all the time.  Skills work is supposed to be limited to the warm up (phase 1), progressing to small sided exercise, mid sided exercise, and (they couldn't emphasize enough) always always always ending in scrimmage.


Sorry, I guess we do scrimmage at least 50% of practices if you consider dividing the team in half and playing each other counts as a scrimmage.  But I believe coaches should have leeway and not have to adhere to a national plan that may not be perfect for every team out there.  Our team needed more skills development, hence why we were a bit heavy on that the past few months.


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