# Sexual Harrassment at Surf San Diego



## oh canada (Jul 26, 2021)

As if the parent toxic culture there wasn't enough...

JULY 25, 2021 11:55 PM PT
For Karley Nelson, getting a job offer from the San Diego Surf Soccer Club, one of the county’s premier youth soccer organizations, was a dream come true.
Then she attended her first staff meeting.
Soon after her supervisor, Rob Becerra, introduced Nelson to her new colleagues, he gave her a call. Becerra, who hadn’t seen Nelson in person in quite some time, told her she’d “lost some butter,” indicating she had lost weight, and said her presence in the office might prevent her male co-workers from getting their work done, according to a recently filed lawsuit.
Nelson’s lawsuit said Becerra made many harassing comments throughout her year with the club.

Nelson said she tried to address the situation on several occasions. She repeatedly told Becerra his remarks were inappropriate and reported his actions to his supervisors.

Still the club didn’t remedy the situation, the lawsuit stated.

“(Nelson) did what we want women to do, which is to feel empowered and strong enough to say, ‘Hey, knock it off. What you’re doing is making me feel uncomfortable,’” said Josh Gruenberg, Nelson’s attorney. “And they didn’t do anything about it.”

Francisco Loayza, the soccer club’s defense attorney, said his client strongly denied the allegations and plans to respond in court. He said Nelson’s allegations were promptly and thoroughly addressed.

“We’re not going to try this case in the media, and we look forward to clearing our client’s good name from these baseless allegations,” Loayza said. “Our client takes all harassment complaints seriously and doesn’t tolerate any inappropriate behavior in the workplace.”

Becerra, who was recently hired by the Boston-based soccer club New England Revolution, could not be reached for comment. New England Revolution declined to comment on the case, as well.

Established in 1977, San Diego Surf Soccer Club is one of the oldest competitive youth soccer clubs in Southern California. The club has won 11 national championships and established more than 40 affiliate clubs, according to its website.

It was partly this history that made the opportunity at the club so exciting for Nelson when she was offered the job in January 2020. She said the inappropriate and unwelcome comments were a huge disappointment.

The statements Becerra made after Nelson’s first staff meeting were just the beginning, according to the lawsuit.

Less than two weeks later, Becerra and Nelson were setting up the fields for training when Becerra commented on Nelson’s gait. When Nelson told him that she walked like an athlete, Becerra told her she could “sleep with any of the guys in that clubhouse,” the suit stated.

Over the next several months, Becerra made repeated comments about Nelson’s body and touched her without her permission despite her objections, according to the suit.

Once, while playing golf, Becerra told Nelson that her body was nicer than the body of the woman selling refreshments, commenting specifically on Nelson’s “nice legs” and “little waist,” the lawsuit said.

Even while coaching, Nelson found herself working to avoid Becerra, she said in her complaint.

During one match, Becerra put his arms around Nelson and his cheek against hers to give her coaching advice, according the lawsuit. The complaint said that Becerra touched Nelson four more times that game, always seeking an embrace.

“It was incredibly uncomfortable and created a hostile work environment,” Nelson said in a recent interview, echoing allegations she made in her lawsuit. “I tried to limit interactions with him, whether in the workplace or over the phone.”

Nelson tried for weeks to meet with Becerra’s supervisors.

At first, his bosses downplayed Nelson’s complaints, the lawsuit said. She was told it would be “better on all fronts” if no one knew about the harassment, and it would be best if Nelson didn’t bring it up with Becerra so he wouldn’t retaliate against her, she said in her lawsuit.

Becerra remained Nelson’s supervisor, even after the complaints.

Nelson was later told that Becerra would finish out the season and then be terminated on the basis of poor performance — not sexual harassment. Nelson was later told that Becerra was never informed of Nelson’s complaints, the lawsuit said.

Toward the end of her time with the club, Nelson attended a leadership retreat with her colleagues in Palm Springs at which she was the only woman present.

During a dinner, the supervisor she had confided in about Becerra’s actions told Nelson she was beautiful and that he, the supervisor, was still trying to convince his partner that she doesn’t have to worry about Nelson as romantic competition, Nelson’s lawsuit said.

Nelson resigned soon afterward.

Nelson said in an interview that her decision to file a lawsuit was a difficult one, but she felt she had a responsibility to file “in hopes of bringing about change so that others are not subject to harassment in the work place,” she said.

The lawsuit, which was filed in San Diego Superior Court in May, seeks unspecified damages.









						Former San Diego Surf Soccer Club coach files suit alleging 'pervasive' sexual harassment
					

Karley Nelson said the club failed to address the harassment, even after complaints




					www.sandiegouniontribune.com


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## Poconos (Jul 26, 2021)

those club dues should come in handy


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## timbuck (Jul 26, 2021)

"Why aren't there more female coaches in club soccer in So Cal?"

Exhibit 1 is above ^


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## espola (Jul 26, 2021)

oh canada said:


> As if the parent toxic culture there wasn't enough...
> 
> JULY 25, 2021 11:55 PM PT
> For Karley Nelson, getting a job offer from the San Diego Surf Soccer Club, one of the county’s premier youth soccer organizations, was a dream come true.
> ...


The first article says she is leaving UNM for Surf.  The second article welcoming her back doesn't mention Surf at all.






						Associate Head Coach Karley Nelson Leaves UNM For Club Director Role
					






					golobos.com
				









						Lobos Welcome Back Karley Nelson to UNM Soccer Staff
					






					golobos.com


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## what-happened (Jul 26, 2021)

espola said:


> The first article says she is leaving UNM for Surf.  The second article welcoming her back doesn't mention Surf at all.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


And?


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## espola (Jul 26, 2021)

what-happened said:


> And?


Apparently, she didn't want it mentioned anymore.

Given her sexual harassment claims, I can see her point.


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## oh canada (Jul 26, 2021)

timbuck said:


> "Why aren't there more female coaches in club soccer in So Cal?"
> 
> Exhibit 1 is above ^


To be fair, let’s not make all SoCal Clubs out to be male chauvinist pigs.  Yes, they need to hire more women, but only one SoCal club has serious sexual legal allegations filed against them.  I admire this woman for having the courage to do something about it.  And I’m glad that my $8k/yr doesn’t go toward supporting an anti-female, hostile workplace—and my kids don’t have to put on a jersey that represents such behavior.  Nike, US Soccer and college coaches should support her too.


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## what-happened (Jul 26, 2021)

espola said:


> Apparently, she didn't want it mentioned anymore.
> 
> Given her sexual harassment claims, I can see her point.


Why would she?  It's in court.  Do you not believe her?  You don't think she got the job based on merit?  How very unprogressive of you......I guess you must be old school.


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## Carlsbad7 (Jul 26, 2021)

Note the sections in *bold* from the UT article.

For *Karley Nelson*, getting a job offer from the San Diego Surf Soccer Club, one of the county’s premier youth soccer organizations, was* a dream come true.*

Then she attended her first staff meeting.

Soon after her supervisor, *Rob Becerra*, introduced Nelson to her new colleagues, he gave her a call. Becerra, who hadn’t seen Nelson in person in quite some time, *told her she’d “lost some butter,” indicating she had lost weight*, and said her presence in the office might prevent her male co-workers from getting their work done, according to a recently filed lawsuit.

Less than two weeks later, Becerra and Nelson were setting up the fields for training when Becerra commented on Nelson’s gait. When Nelson told him that she walked like an athlete,* Becerra told her she could “sleep with any of the guys in that clubhouse,”* the suit stated.

Once, while playing golf, Becerra told Nelson that her body *was nicer than the body of the woman selling refreshments*, commenting *specifically on Nelson’s “nice legs” and “little waist,”* the lawsuit said

During one match, *Becerra put his arms around Nelson and his cheek against hers to give her coaching advice*, according the lawsuit. The complaint said that *Becerra touched Nelson four more times that game, always seeking an embrace*.   

*Nelson was later told that Becerra would finish out the season and then be terminated on the basis of poor performance — not sexual harassment*. Nelson was later told that Becerra was never informed of Nelson’s complaints, the lawsuit said.

Surf is playing all their cards as tactfully as possible. However I smell 50-100k floating Karleys way to drop the suit.

You can bet if Becerra acts this way with other coaches there's a good chance he'll act that way with players if given the chance. 

Also notice how Becerra bounces from one club to the next + nobody cares.


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## outside! (Jul 26, 2021)

Carlsbad7 said:


> Surf is playing all their cards as tactfully as possible. However I smell 50-100k floating Karleys way to drop the suit.
> 
> You can bet if Becerra acts this way with other coaches there's a good chance he'll act that way with players if given the chance.
> 
> Also notice how Becerra bounces from one club to the next + nobody cares.


Surf BOD needs to clean house a bit. Club that hired Becerra is taking a risk.


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## what-happened (Jul 26, 2021)

Carlsbad7 said:


> Note the sections in *bold* from the UT article.
> 
> 
> *You can bet if Becerra acts this way with other coaches there's a good chance he'll act that way with players if given the chance.*


This is the part that should set everyone's blood to boil.  Alleged Dirtbags like Becerra don't deserve to coach/interact with anyone's hard working DD, never mind given the opportunity to work alongside female peers who are trying to prove themselves.

While everyone is innocent until proven guilty, this is a category of behavior that can impact your DD for the rest of her social life.


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## Ellejustus (Jul 26, 2021)

Carlsbad7 said:


> Note the sections in *bold* from the UT article.
> 
> For *Karley Nelson*, getting a job offer from the San Diego Surf Soccer Club, one of the county’s premier youth soccer organizations, was* a dream come true.*
> 
> ...


Lot's of kids have a few dreams as well to play at the next level.  Frat house?


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## espola (Jul 26, 2021)

what-happened said:


> Why would she?  It's in court.  Do you not believe her?  You don't think she got the job based on merit?  How very unprogressive of you......I guess you must be old school.


You don't know me at all.

Is it possible for you to post without using leading questions?


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## espola (Jul 26, 2021)

Carlsbad7 said:


> Note the sections in *bold* from the UT article.
> 
> For *Karley Nelson*, getting a job offer from the San Diego Surf Soccer Club, one of the county’s premier youth soccer organizations, was* a dream come true.*
> 
> ...


I have had several valid complaints about the management of Surf Soccer over the years.  However, I have never had any reason to suspect any sexism issues.  Is this a new chapter in Surf's infamy?  I'm tuned in to see the results.


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## espola (Jul 26, 2021)

what-happened said:


> This is the part that should set everyone's blood to boil.  Alleged Dirtbags like Becerra don't deserve to coach/interact with anyone's hard working DD, never mind given the opportunity to work alongside female peers who are trying to prove themselves.
> 
> While everyone is innocent until proven guilty, this is a category of behavior that can impact your DD for the rest of her social life.


Despite your careful use of "alleged" and "innocent until proven guilty", you seem to have made p your mind already.


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## Dargle (Jul 26, 2021)

what-happened said:


> This is the part that should set everyone's blood to boil.  Alleged Dirtbags like Becerra don't deserve to coach/interact with anyone's hard working DD, never mind given the opportunity to work alongside female peers who are trying to prove themselves.
> 
> While everyone is innocent until proven guilty, this is a category of behavior that can impact your DD for the rest of her social life.


I guess Becerra won't be working with anyone's DD in his new role since they only have boys' teams.









						New England Revolution hire Rob Becerra as new Director of Youth Development | New England Revolution
					

Rob Becerra joins club as new Director of Youth Development




					www.revolutionsoccer.net


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## Ellejustus (Jul 26, 2021)

espola said:


> Despite your careful use of "alleged" and "innocent until proven guilty", you seem to have made p your mind already.


Espola, we all know you know everything and everyone in soccer.  You should know better Mr. Soccer!!!!


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## what-happened (Jul 26, 2021)

espola said:


> Despite your careful use of "alleged" and "innocent until proven guilty", you seem to have made p your mind already.


Is that what you perceive? Wouldn't any parent of a DD take these allegations into consideration when selecting a club/coach?


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## what-happened (Jul 26, 2021)

Dargle said:


> I guess Becerra won't be working with anyone's DD in his new role since they only have boys' teams.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Good to hear.


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## espola (Jul 26, 2021)

what-happened said:


> Is that what you perceive? Wouldn't any parent of a DD take these allegations into consideration when selecting a club/coach?


I would ask "What about the sexual harassment lawsuit?" before signing any checks.


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## timbuck (Jul 26, 2021)

Dargle said:


> I guess Becerra won't be working with anyone's DD in his new role since they only have boys' teams.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


He wasn't hitting on underage girls.  
Still a bit slimy, but I assume she was an adult at the time.


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## Dargle (Jul 26, 2021)

timbuck said:


> He wasn't hitting on underage girls.
> Still a bit slimy, but I assume she was an adult at the time.


I was responding to the prior post indicating concern about him being around his or other DD.


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## oh canada (Jul 26, 2021)

Sounds like it’s a lot more than one guy.  Top execs telling her to keep it quiet, doing their own harassing, not helping her when she first came to them, etc.


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## espola (Jul 26, 2021)

timbuck said:


> He wasn't hitting on underage girls.
> Still a bit slimy, but I assume she was an adult at the time.


Surf coach hitting on underage girls is so 2002 --









						Soccer coach gets prison for sex with girl - Creating Safer Havens
					

Henry Sosa, 42, was sentenced to state prison for having sex with a 15-year-old female soccer player. Sosa was a soccer coach for the club team "surf". The incident took place at a hotel in Irvine, California. Sosa had bought alcohol and got the young soccer player extremely intoxicated, before...




					www.creatingsaferhavens.com


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## what-happened (Jul 26, 2021)

espola said:


> You don't know me at all.
> 
> Is it possible for you to post without using leading questions?


You are right, I don't know you at all, and vice versa. Leading questions?


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## GLangevinito (Jul 27, 2021)

did i read that right? a few comments and a hug gets a guy sued now? 

is that really the worst of it or is there worse in the complaint?


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## Carlsbad7 (Jul 27, 2021)

GLangevinito said:


> did i read that right? a few comments and a hug gets a guy sued now?
> 
> is that really the worst of it or is there worse in the complaint?


I think the "you lost some butter" comment stands out.

Definately an easy lawsuit in regular Corp environment.


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## espola (Jul 27, 2021)

GLangevinito said:


> did i read that right? a few comments and a hug gets a guy sued now?
> 
> is that really the worst of it or is there worse in the complaint?


I haven't seen the whole text of the lawsuit, but I got the tone that the Surf management was not responsive to her complaints, and may have only made them worse.


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## Jar!23 (Jul 27, 2021)

The guy didn’t take his safesport sexual harassment training seriously.


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## timbuck (Jul 28, 2021)

Jar!23 said:


> The guy didn’t take his safesport sexual harassment training seriously.


The first module of the Safesport training should include this:  "If you need this course to teach you not to do anything you are about to see.... You probably should not be coaching kids."


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## Patandpats (Jul 28, 2021)

GLangevinito said:


> did i read that right? a few comments and a hug gets a guy sued now?
> 
> is that really the worst of it or is there worse in the complaint?


You did not read that right.  Surf is being sued, not the coach. They are being sued because under labor law, when an employee reports bad behavior, a company has to be given the chance to correct the bad behavior.  They chose not to. They didn't have to fire him, they just had to make sure it stopped. They did nothing to protect her and help her. Instead this is what happened and if you think this is nothing well that's on you I guess:

During one match, Becerra put his arms around Nelson and his cheek against hers to give her coaching advice, according the lawsuit. The complaint said that Becerra touched Nelson four more times that game, always seeking an embrace.

“It was incredibly uncomfortable and created a hostile work environment,” Nelson said in a recent interview, echoing allegations she made in her lawsuit. “I tried to limit interactions with him, whether in the workplace or over the phone.”

Nelson tried for weeks to meet with Becerra’s supervisors.

At first, his bosses downplayed Nelson’s complaints, the lawsuit said. She was told it would be “better on all fronts” if no one knew about the harassment, and it would be best if Nelson didn’t bring it up with Becerra so he wouldn’t retaliate against her, she said in her lawsuit.

Becerra remained Nelson’s supervisor, even after the complaints.

Nelson was later told that Becerra would finish out the season and then be terminated on the basis of poor performance — not sexual harassment. Nelson was later told that Becerra was never informed of Nelson’s complaints, the lawsuit said.


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## Soccer (Jul 28, 2021)

It’s not just Becerra.  The comment about “making my partner jealous/ nervous”   Not quoting exactly here.  The person that said that is Josh Henderson.


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## Jose has returned (Jul 28, 2021)

If all these things are true the jackass should get a few punches.  Then a few more for being stupid to even say that garbage. How could he not know its inappropriate to do that crap to anyone. Anyone that tried to cover that up needs to go too.


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## outside! (Jul 28, 2021)

Jose has returned said:


> If all these things are true the jackass should get a few punches.  Then a few more for being stupid to even say that garbage. How could he not know its inappropriate to do that crap to anyone. Anyone that tried to cover that up needs to go too.


It sounds as if Surf DOC and management do not really understand the law regarding sexual harrasment or what is appropriate behavior on this matter. When these game incidents happened, their were girls sitting on the bench that must have witnessed this. Not a good look for a club that tries to attract the top female talent in the county.


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## Ellejustus (Jul 29, 2021)

*Hundreds of Blizzard employees walk off job, fans boycott games*

Now that is team work.  Frat boy's need to respect the ladies......

Employees and their supporters gathered outside the gates of the company, which has been accused by the state’s Department of Fair Employment and Housing of fostering a “ ‘frat boy’ workplace culture.”


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## Ellejustus (Jul 29, 2021)




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## Carlsbad7 (Jul 29, 2021)

This is how I imagine Surf directors meetings go...


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## Speedy (Nov 18, 2022)

https://www.washingtonpost.com/sports/2022/11/18/ecnl-girls-soccer-male-coaches/


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## RedCard (Nov 19, 2022)

Speedy said:


> https://www.washingtonpost.com/sports/2022/11/18/ecnl-girls-soccer-male-coaches/


Very interesting article...


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## BIGD (Nov 21, 2022)

There is not a single female coach on Surf's website.  All male coaching staff.  For having such a robust girls program that is just unacceptable.  And definitely a red flag.


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## crush (Nov 24, 2022)

BIGD said:


> There is not a single female coach on Surf's website.  All male coaching staff.  For having such a robust girls program that is just unacceptable.  And definitely a red flag.


I tried to tell folks that you need some women leaders for the girls because the boys are acting like boys. Talk about a frat house. They had bait as well. Euro accent and the pick(s) for Grooming Center & Youth National Team for US Soccer out of the Kimball House in Chicago and they know all the college coaches. It's also alleged that the women employees were also harassed at the Kimball House that was once owned by the mob. Red Flag warning is understatement. I wonder why no women today after I complained to the higher ups 6 years ago?


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## Socal-Soccer-Dad (Nov 25, 2022)

Carlsbad7 said:


> I think the "you lost some butter" comment stands out.
> 
> Definately an easy lawsuit in regular Corp environment.


He clearly didn't say it in the right way.

Tom Brady has a great rule to follow to say it properly:


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## WonderWoman (Nov 27, 2022)

BIGD said:


> There is not a single female coach on Surf's website.  All male coaching staff.  For having such a robust girls program that is just unacceptable.  And definitely a red flag.


For sure a red flag!


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## Soccer43 (Nov 28, 2022)

Female coaches abuse and harass also.


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## crush (Nov 28, 2022)

Soccer43 said:


> Female coaches abuse and harass also.


I remember when one lady coach came to da fields to get a peak of the goats and was really mean. Told my dd coach my kid was not obedient, was disrespectful, goofed off and was having too much fun and 100% not groomable, if that's a word. Good luck to your player(s) in these difficult times.


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## Carlsbad7 (Nov 28, 2022)

I'm going to say something unpopular. Wish it wasnt true but my experience is that female coaches just arent that good (if "good" is defined only by results) + they tended to get involved in team drama more than a guy ever would.

Consider this, most male coaches I've met dont mind coaching girls but in general prefer boys because of the additional speed and power boys have especially after puberty. I've only seen one female coach a boys team (at Sharks + she was pretty good) women tend to want to coach girls over boys. I get that theres lots of reasons for this but if a coach is completely blind to male or female players they should always gravitate to the boys because of the added speed and power.

Not trying to defend anything Surf has implemented. There has to be female coaches that win. They just need to find them. 

Maybe female coaches should be required to coach boys so they get a different perspective on play.


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## SurFutbol (Nov 28, 2022)

Carlsbad7 said:


> I'm going to say something unpopular. Wish it wasnt true but my experience is that female coaches just arent that good (if "good" is defined only by results) + they tended to get involved in team drama more than a guy ever would.
> 
> Consider this, most male coaches I've met dont mind coaching girls but in general prefer boys because of the additional speed and power boys have especially after puberty. I've only seen one female coach a boys team (at Sharks + she was pretty good) women tend to want to coach girls over boys. I get that theres lots of reasons for this but if a coach is completely blind to male or female players they should always gravitate to the boys because of the added speed and power.
> 
> ...


Every single woman in the U.S. who can coach soccer has a college degree that is far too valuable to waste spending most of their evenings and weekends coaching kids, which pays terribly and has no future.  This is why you don't see many women in waste management, and why you also don't see elite women's coaches at Surf or anywhere.  They are both physically demanding jobs that pay terribly and have terrible work hours.  

The type of person who tries to make a career out of coaching youth soccer does not have a college degree, barely scraped by in college because they were really only there to play soccer, or came from a foreign country which often makes it hard to find a well paying job commensurate with their non-soccer skills. With very, very few exceptions, the type of person who becomes a professional youth soccer coach just doesn't have a lot of options after they're done playing, or they're just lazy and continue doing the only thing they know.  The also tend to be grifters and hustlers who need to work multiple jobs just to get by.  These categories of people are almost 100% male. That is how it is and how it will always be.


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## crush (Nov 28, 2022)

Carlsbad7 said:


> I'm going to say something unpopular. Wish it wasnt true but my experience is that female coaches just arent that good (if "good" is defined only by results) + they tended to get involved in team drama more than a guy ever would.
> 
> Consider this, most male coaches I've met dont mind coaching girls but in general prefer boys because of the additional speed and power boys have especially after puberty. I've only seen one female coach a boys team (at Sharks + she was pretty good) women tend to want to coach girls over boys. I get that theres lots of reasons for this but if a coach is completely blind to male or female players they should always gravitate to the boys because of the added speed and power.
> 
> ...


Let's start with a female director overseeing the girls program would be my recommendation. My dd prefers male coaches, minus the screaming, manipulation and anything that is demeaning. Yelling out instructions with a big crowd has to happen.


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## Carlsbad7 (Nov 28, 2022)

crush said:


> Let's start with a female director overseeing the girls program would be my recommendation. My dd prefers male coaches, minus the screaming, manipulation and anything that is demeaning. Yelling out instructions with a big crowd has to happen.


Been around Clubs with female DOCs. One was significantly worse than their competition. The other was above average.

Dont think a female DOC will be any different than a male DOC. They're just as good at playing favorites + blackballing those that dont fall in line. They might be even better at it than men because they're used to playing social games vs focusing on pure ability only.


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## crush (Nov 28, 2022)

Carlsbad7 said:


> Been around Clubs with female DOCs. One was significantly worse than their competition. The other was above average.
> 
> Dont think a female DOC will be any different than a male DOC. They're just as good at playing favorites + blackballing those that dont fall in line. They might be even better at it than men because they're used to playing social games vs focusing on pure ability only.


You might be right and if you are, this is sad state where were at for the girls game. Pay to play is the problem, moo!


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## SurFutbol (Nov 28, 2022)

crush said:


> You might be right and if you are, this is sad state where were at for the girls game. Pay to play is the problem, moo!


You think that more educated young women will choose youth soccer coach as a profession if you take away the only revenue stream that is necessary to pay them?


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## Sdnative (Nov 29, 2022)

BIGD said:


> There is not a single female coach on Surf's website.  All male coaching staff.  For having such a robust girls program that is just unacceptable.  And definitely a red flag.


Coach Zak Brahmbhatt is actually “Kelly” she/they are also a coach at Pt. Loma Nazarene. Not sure when the name change came. But still not strong female coach leadership at Surf to help guide these women in this sport. Very unfortunate when on the same training grounds you have Casey Stoney coaching the Wave, maybe Surf should take notice. Haha


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## VanMan (Nov 29, 2022)

Sdnative said:


> Coach Zak Brahmbhatt is actually “Kelly” she/they are also a coach at Pt. Loma Nazarene. Not sure when the name change came. But still not strong female coach leadership at Surf to help guide these women in this sport. Very unfortunate when on the same training grounds you have Casey Stoney coaching the Wave, maybe Surf should take notice. Haha


From the WaPo article...

_"Of the clubs where leaders lamented the departures of female coaches, just one, St. Louis Scott Gallagher, had a maternity leave policy. Slammers, Khoury admitted, didn’t. Neither did Surf, Henderson said. *He noted that when a transgender coach needed two months off to transition, the club gave it to him*, and Surf would similarly accommodate women who needed parental leave."_

Pretty sure that ZB identifies as male these days.


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## young@heart (Nov 30, 2022)

Utah Royals - Arizona has a female director for Girls ECNL, Tiffany Roberts, she's also an assistant coach for USYNT u17s and u19s. For Utah Royals-AZ she's the director as well as coaches two of the girls teams, 09s and 05/04s. We've been fortunate to have her coach two of our DDs. She just brought on another female coach, I believe that makes 3 male and 2 female coaches for the girls program. I'm shocked surf doesn't have a single female coach on there staff considering the size there program.


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## MacDre (Nov 30, 2022)

Red flag?  Shocked?  Nah Pimpin, it’s A.O.B.


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## WonderWoman (Dec 2, 2022)

There is a lack of female coaches in general not just quality female coaches.


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## GT45 (Dec 14, 2022)

Carlsbad7 said:


> I'm going to say something unpopular. Wish it wasnt true but my experience is that female coaches just arent that good (if "good" is defined only by results) + they tended to get involved in team drama more than a guy ever would.
> 
> Consider this, most male coaches I've met dont mind coaching girls but in general prefer boys because of the additional speed and power boys have especially after puberty. I've only seen one female coach a boys team (at Sharks + she was pretty good) women tend to want to coach girls over boys. I get that theres lots of reasons for this but if a coach is completely blind to male or female players they should always gravitate to the boys because of the added speed and power.
> 
> ...


This is not only unpopular is reeks of sexism. If you gave females the top teams at Surf I bet they would win. See how that works. Give top players to any coach and they have a better chance of success.

I dispute your comparison of the boys and girls game. I don't enjoy the boys game. The girls game is more entertaining. To each their own.

By the way, the 2022 NCAA Division 3 men's national champion was coached by a female. Her players spoke of how calm she is and what she brought to the team. So much for the sterotype of drama, huh? Sounds more like the men: Rory Dames (NWSL), Paul Riley (NWSL), Holley (NWSL) all created drama (among other horrific acts) and all were fired for it.

You are sexist. I hope you do not have a daughter or wife.


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## espola (Dec 14, 2022)

I was really expecting to see some new legal troubles for Surf coaches in this thread.  It has been a long time since any of them got in the news.


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## Carlsbad7 (Dec 14, 2022)

GT45 said:


> I dispute your comparison of the boys and girls game. I don't enjoy the boys game. The girls game is more entertaining. To each their own.


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## kickingandscreaming (Dec 15, 2022)

Carlsbad7 said:


> I'm going to say something unpopular. Wish it wasnt true but my experience is that female coaches just arent that good (if "good" is defined only by results) + they tended to get involved in team drama more than a guy ever would.
> 
> Consider this, most male coaches I've met dont mind coaching girls but in general prefer boys because of the additional speed and power boys have especially after puberty. I've only seen one female coach a boys team (at Sharks + she was pretty good) women tend to want to coach girls over boys. I get that theres lots of reasons for this but if a coach is completely blind to male or female players they should always gravitate to the boys because of the added speed and power.
> 
> ...


There's a considerable projection in any of the previous posts regarding why there aren't more / more successful female coaches, and using personal experience is anecdotal. However, doing so in my daughter's case would show that the only female head coach she had in club soccer was a two-time national champ and the coach of the D1 national champions in her first year of college play is a woman.

Also, in terms of team culture, the club coach I mentioned above is exceptional. I still remember the first time I saw her coach. Her demeanor on the sideline was calm, her communication was always constructive, and her team played skilled soccer. Over time, I saw her responses to winning and losing, and it was exactly the behavior I wanted my daughter to model. A few years later, my daughter joined a team she coached, and I observed the same positive behavior in training and in communicating with parents. If we could do it over again and only select one coach, she would be the one.

I don't claim to know why we don't have more / more successful female coaches at the club level. It may have to do with the fact that many of the more successful ones get better opportunities. I know that Quakes/Bay Area had two - Erin Ridley, who is now with the boys' side of the Earthquakes, and Natalia Astrain, who is now coaching the USWNT U17s. Also, Margueritte Aozasa was coaching at MVLA. My take is we need more women coaches at the club level coaching girls - and boys if they are so inclined.


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## crush (Dec 15, 2022)

kickingandscreaming said:


> There's a considerable projection in any of the previous posts regarding why there aren't more / more successful female coaches, and using personal experience is anecdotal. However, doing so in my daughter's case would show that the only female head coach she had in club soccer was a two-time national champ and the coach of the D1 national champions in her first year of college play is a woman.
> 
> Also, in terms of team culture, the club coach I mentioned above is exceptional. I still remember the first time I saw her coach. Her demeanor on the sideline was calm, her communication was always constructive, and her team played skilled soccer. Over time, I saw her responses to winning and losing, and it was exactly the behavior I wanted my daughter to model. A few years later, my daughter joined a team she coached, and I observed the same positive behavior in training and in communicating with parents. If we could do it over again and only select one coach, she would be the one.
> 
> I don't claim to know why we don't have more / more successful female coaches at the club level. It may have to do with the fact that many of the more successful ones get better opportunities. I know that Quakes/Bay Area had two - Erin Ridley, who is now with the boys' side of the Earthquakes, and Natalia Astrain, who is now coaching the USWNT U17s. Also, Margueritte Aozasa was coaching at MVLA. My take is we need more women coaches at the club level coaching girls - and boys if they are so inclined.


Great takes bro and it comes with experience. Coach Heather was someone who taught my dd some amazing things. UCLA got a great coach and I will be rooting them on forever to win each year. Men will be men and when the men begin to share more, then things will even out  I hope you still love me man because I was told 99% hate me on here.....lol!


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## LouSag (Dec 15, 2022)

BIGD said:


> There is not a single female coach on Surf's website.  All male coaching staff.  For having such a robust girls program that is just unacceptable.  And definitely a red flag.


Get off the woke train.  The Surf staff is all very qualified to coach the top level of ECNL talent.  They draw talented players from all over SoCal and they make them better.  It doesn’t matter the sex of the coach…if you have the coaching pedigree, Surf doesn’t care whether you are male or female.  If Stony Casey wanted to work there, I’m sure she would fit in just fine.  Rob Becerra‘s actions were inexcusable.  Several female coaches have come and gone over the years and now have the “top” team in the age group at clubs like Sharks.  If those coaches were good enough to have the top team at Surf, that would have happened.  Whether the coach is male or female, it makes no difference…players (NWSL, YNT, or D1 college) get outstanding exposure at Surf.  If you know anything about club soccer and your daughter grows up in a program, you are gonna have 3-4 coaches over her decade with that program.  You have no say whether those coaches are male or female unless you hop clubs for a specific coach.  If you want your daughter to play at the next level, Surf is a nationally recognized gold standard.  It is true world wide—there need to be more top level female coaches, Surf is not alone in its lack of diversity.  Standing by for incoming….bash away.


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## crush (Dec 15, 2022)

LouSag said:


> Get off the woke train.  The Surf staff is all very qualified to coach the top level of ECNL talent.  They draw talented players from all over SoCal and they make them better.  It doesn’t matter the sex of the coach…if you have the coaching pedigree, Surf doesn’t care whether you are male or female.  If Stony Casey wanted to work there, I’m sure she would fit in just fine.  Rob Becerra‘s actions were inexcusable.  Several female coaches have come and gone over the years and now have the “top” team in the age group at clubs like Sharks.  If those coaches were good enough to have the top team at Surf, that would have happened.  Whether the coach is male or female, it makes no difference…players (NWSL, YNT, or D1 college) get outstanding exposure at Surf.  If you know anything about club soccer and your daughter grows up in a program, you are gonna have 3-4 coaches over her decade with that program.  You have no say whether those coaches are male or female unless you hop clubs for a specific coach.  If you want your daughter to play at the next level, Surf is a nationally recognized gold standard.  It is true world wide—there need to be more top level female coaches, Surf is not alone in its lack of diversity.  Standing by for incoming….bash away.


It's good to have debates LouSag and I agree with what you said in some ways and in some ways I disagree. Butter up folks, let it rip....lol!


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## SurFutbol (Dec 15, 2022)

LouSag said:


> Get off the woke train.  The Surf staff is all very qualified to coach the top level of ECNL talent.  They draw talented players from all over SoCal and they make them better.  It doesn’t matter the sex of the coach…if you have the coaching pedigree, Surf doesn’t care whether you are male or female.  If Stony Casey wanted to work there, I’m sure she would fit in just fine.  Rob Becerra‘s actions were inexcusable.  Several female coaches have come and gone over the years and now have the “top” team in the age group at clubs like Sharks.  If those coaches were good enough to have the top team at Surf, that would have happened.  Whether the coach is male or female, it makes no difference…players (NWSL, YNT, or D1 college) get outstanding exposure at Surf.  If you know anything about club soccer and your daughter grows up in a program, you are gonna have 3-4 coaches over her decade with that program.  You have no say whether those coaches are male or female unless you hop clubs for a specific coach.  If you want your daughter to play at the next level, Surf is a nationally recognized gold standard.  It is true world wide—there need to be more top level female coaches, Surf is not alone in its lack of diversity.  Standing by for incoming….bash away.


Claiming Surf is doing something wrong just because its top coaches are men misunderstands cause and effect.  Would it be nice if there were more qualified women? Maybe, although youth soccer coach is a low-paying terrible job for all but a handful of people compared to just about anything, so I'm not sure more women coaching youth soccer really does much for equality or women's rights the way some people seem to think.

There are some very simple reasons why there are so few qualified women youth coaches.  (1) Virtually all qualified women coaches coach college instead, where there is some actual money, job security, prestige and potential.  Any woman with a brain and ability will take the college track over being a pro kiddie soccer coach.  There just aren't many women left after those who are most committed to coaching soccer have taken jobs in the college pipeline.  (2) Very few women look at kiddie soccer coach as a real job, and they shouldn't.  Virtually every single young woman in the U.S. who has any clue about soccer also has a college degree, which they are squandering by coaching youth soccer. (3) Certainly there has been awful stereotyping and underestimating women's abilities as a whole historically, which has deterred many women from trying to become great youth soccer coaches. But if someone is going to accuse any particular club of discriminating, they need to prove it instead of assuming that a lack of women coaching at a club must be proof of discrimination.  They need to identify who has applied, what their credentials are, and how they stacked up to those who were actually hired.

In other words, looking at how few women soccer coaches have been hired at Surf tells you nothing without knowing how many women have applied and what their qualifications are compared to those who got the jobs.  I can't tell you much about individual hiring decisions at Surf historically, other than I can say I don't know of any woman - or man for that matter - who is more qualified than Deza to help girls use soccer as a means to get into a top-level school and also maybe get some scholarship money.  Even if there are, they did not apply for the position at Surf.


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## crush (Dec 15, 2022)

SurFutbol said:


> Claiming Surf is doing something wrong just because its top coaches are men misunderstands cause and effect.  Would it be nice if there were more qualified women? Maybe, although youth soccer coach is a low-paying terrible job for all but a handful of people compared to just about anything, so I'm not sure more women coaching youth soccer really does much for equality or women's rights the way some people seem to think.
> 
> There are some very simple reasons why there are so few qualified women youth coaches.  (1) Virtually all qualified women coaches coach college instead, where there is some actual money, job security, prestige and potential.  Any woman with a brain and ability will take the college track over being a pro kiddie soccer coach.  There just aren't many women left after those who are most committed to coaching soccer have taken jobs in the college pipeline.  (2) Very few women look at kiddie soccer coach as a real job, and they shouldn't.  Virtually every single young woman in the U.S. who has any clue about soccer also has a college degree, which they are squandering by coaching youth soccer. (3) Certainly there has been awful stereotyping and underestimating women's abilities as a whole historically, which has deterred many women from trying to become great youth soccer coaches. But if someone is going to accuse any particular club of discriminating, they need to prove it instead of assuming that a lack of women coaching at a club must be proof of discrimination.  They need to identify who has applied, what their credentials are, and how they stacked up to those who were actually hired.
> 
> In other words, looking at how few women soccer coaches have been hired at Surf tells you nothing without knowing how many women have applied and what their qualifications are compared to those who got the jobs.  I can't tell you much about individual hiring decisions at Surf historically, other than I can say I don't know of any woman - or man for that matter - who is more qualified than Deza to help girls use soccer as a means to get into a top-level school and also maybe get some scholarship money.  Even if there are, they did not apply for the position at Surf.


Liar liar liar!!! What happen to the Doc before Rob?


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## crush (Dec 15, 2022)

Hey at Surfutbol, are you a spokesperson for Surf?


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## LouSag (Dec 15, 2022)

SurFutbol said:


> Claiming Surf is doing something wrong just because its top coaches are men misunderstands cause and effect.  Would it be nice if there were more qualified women? Maybe, although youth soccer coach is a low-paying terrible job for all but a handful of people compared to just about anything, so I'm not sure more women coaching youth soccer really does much for equality or women's rights the way some people seem to think.
> 
> There are some very simple reasons why there are so few qualified women youth coaches.  (1) Virtually all qualified women coaches coach college instead, where there is some actual money, job security, prestige and potential.  Any woman with a brain and ability will take the college track over being a pro kiddie soccer coach.  There just aren't many women left after those who are most committed to coaching soccer have taken jobs in the college pipeline.  (2) Very few women look at kiddie soccer coach as a real job, and they shouldn't.  Virtually every single young woman in the U.S. who has any clue about soccer also has a college degree, which they are squandering by coaching youth soccer. (3) Certainly there has been awful stereotyping and underestimating women's abilities as a whole historically, which has deterred many women from trying to become great youth soccer coaches. But if someone is going to accuse any particular club of discriminating, they need to prove it instead of assuming that a lack of women coaching at a club must be proof of discrimination.  They need to identify who has applied, what their credentials are, and how they stacked up to those who were actually hired.
> 
> In other words, looking at how few women soccer coaches have been hired at Surf tells you nothing without knowing how many women have applied and what their qualifications are compared to those who got the jobs.  I can't tell you much about individual hiring decisions at Surf historically, other than I can say I don't know of any woman - or man for that matter - who is more qualified than  Deza to help girls use soccer as a means to get into a top-level school and also maybe get some scholarship money.  Even if there are, they did not apply for the position at Surf.


This^^^^. Spot on remarks about women with soccer credentials and a degree are better off putting that degree to use in the real world.

  And Deza does the job that Surf pays him to do very well.


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## crush (Dec 16, 2022)

Fat shaming, sexual harrassment, mental abuse  & retaliation if one dares to speak out and report to the boss at the highest levels in soccer.









						NWSL investigation finds 'ongoing misconduct'
					

A year after the NWSL was rocked by sexual coercion complaints, misconduct continues to be reported in more than half of the teams, a report found.




					www.espn.com


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## Soccer Dad & Ref (Dec 16, 2022)

LouSag said:


> It is true world wide—there need to be more top level female coaches, Surf is not alone in its lack of diversity.  Standing by for incoming….bash away.


Should have led with this, not what I thought was dopey use of woke until i read the rest.


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## Carlsbad7 (Dec 16, 2022)

crush said:


> Fat shaming, sexual harrassment, mental abuse  & retaliation if one dares to speak out and report to the boss at the highest levels in soccer.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Wow, these coaches were brazen and ridiculous in the way they treated female athletes.

This is institutionalized behaviour.

The players need more power and protections.


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## crush (Dec 16, 2022)

Carlsbad7 said:


> Wow, these coaches were brazen and ridiculous in the way they treated female athletes.
> 
> This is institutionalized behaviour.
> 
> The players need more power and protections.


Protection needs to at start at the youth level!


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## Carlsbad7 (Dec 16, 2022)

Carlsbad7 said:


> Wow, these coaches were brazen and ridiculous in the way they treated female athletes.
> 
> This is institutionalized behaviour.
> 
> The players need more power and protections.


The solutions NWSL proposed are stupid. You cant change institutionalized issues with HR trainings.

Heres some easy fixes that would address overnight.

Option 1 - Get rid of coaches and let teams/players coach themselves. As long as no teams in the league have coaches everyone is on the same level.

Option 2 - Make all coaches contracts tied to a single season + teams / players choose the coaches they would like to be coached by season after season. (Basicaly make coaches like players in how they're recruited and employed.)


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## espola (Dec 28, 2022)

This is not Surf, but Thacher School in Ojai.  In the middle of this report (pages 14-27) is much detail on how the girls' soccer coach preyed on members of the team for years.  If you have a daughter of that age, this may be a tough read.

download_6223895.pdf (myschoolapp.com)


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## Carlsbad7 (Dec 29, 2022)

espola said:


> This is not Surf, but Thacher School in Ojai.  In the middle of this report (pages 14-27) is much detail on how the girls' soccer coach preyed on members of the team for years.  If you have a daughter of that age, this may be a tough read.
> 
> download_6223895.pdf (myschoolapp.com)


Wow that Thatcher report was painful to read. Unfortunately I've heard of this type of thing happening at every boarding school. Disgusting perverts look for places like these where they can pray on children who are not equipped to fight back.

Reguarding the Thatcher soccer coach abusing players. He used the same type of tactics that abusive college coaches use to get close and take advantage of the youth.

As a parent you need to try your absolute best to explain to kids that they dont need to do what adults say when it doesnt seem right. Also kids need to understand that no team is worth playing for if it requires allowing yourself to be taken advantage of. Just quit + there will be other opportunities.


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## espola (Dec 29, 2022)

Carlsbad7 said:


> Wow that Thatcher report was painful to read. Unfortunately I've heard of this type of thing happening at every boarding school. Disgusting perverts look for places like these where they can pray on children who are not equipped to fight back.
> 
> Reguarding the Thatcher soccer coach abusing players. He used the same type of tactics that abusive college coaches use to get close and take advantage of the youth.
> 
> As a parent you need to try your absolute best to explain to kids that they dont need to do what adults say when it doesnt seem right. Also kids need to understand that no team is worth playing for if it requires allowing yourself to be taken advantage of. Just quit + there will be other opportunities.


Another point you can get from reading the whole report -- the head of the school had become a public embarrassment to the Board of Trustees because of the way he treated girl students and because of his obvious alcohol issues.  However, the Board didn't want to fire him because he was so good at fundraising.  As a compromise, they gave him an Emeritus position - he was still living at the school but had little contact with the students, and he could continue his fundraising.


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