# What happened to THE Luis Andres thread?



## Anon9 (Aug 23, 2019)

I don’t see it anymore???


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## Grace T. (Aug 23, 2019)

He upgraded to platinum. Can they delete threads they create?  If so it’s a shame. We needed that one for posterity.


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## Desert Hound (Aug 23, 2019)

I am sure we will see his 8yr old on that WNT next year. Word on the street is she turned down an offer to play at Stanford. With the dad's biking prowess and the mother's insane athletic ability I am surprised his kid wasn't in this years WWC.


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## Surf Zombie (Aug 23, 2019)

“when you got so call coaches attacking the way little girls play it was the final straw for me.”

Wasn’t that the point of why you started the original thread in the first place?!?! 

To complain about the way little girls (those crappy bench players) play?


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## LASTMAN14 (Aug 23, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> Yes I deleted the thread. It became just a bunch of nonsense towards the end and when you got so call coaches attacking the way little girls play it was the final straw for me. Sorry.


But you did not in anyway perpetuate this and set yourself up. There is a right way to post and then there is how you went about it. I’m not trying to offend or incite you, but explain what occurred simply. Welcome to the forum. BTW- this was gentle chastisement by posters. And it does not always go this way.


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## Surf Zombie (Aug 23, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> I never talked bad about the player. Like I mentioned to you guys I am the only parent on the team going out of my way to help her. The debate was on how to handle the situation not about bashing anyone


Has the coach of your child’s team, or any of the parents of her teammates, seen the other thread you started?  Can’t imagine it’s going to be a warm and fuzzy sideline from here on out.


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## SoccerFan4Life (Aug 23, 2019)

Us parents get so infatuated with youth soccer that you end up pushing your child away from the sport without realizing.  

A friend of mine had a situation in his team where the kid would hate the long talks after a game on the ride back home.   One day the child had a really bad game and she warned her dad that she didn’t want to hear any criticism from the dad on the ride home or she would quit soccer. 

The dad couldn’t hold it and started talking to her about how bad she played.   That was the last day that 13 year kid played soccer.


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## Frank (Aug 23, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> As it is they don’t like me very much at least the women don’t. My wife is the team mom.  I got kicked out of the WhatsApp group chat for expressing my feeling to bluntly after statecup but that’s it. Coach can kick us off the team but he hasn’t to date. Maybe it’s cause of my DD cause he’s let go a couple players since we started this team. Not sure really. I’ll leave if he wants us to. No problem. But so far this year it’s all good. As long as I’m not on the chat. I’m
> Fine with it. But I’ve learned.


This is really hard to believe.......


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## LASTMAN14 (Aug 23, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> 1st post maybe I put it out in the wrong manner that caused many of you to lash at me. I live and I learn and all that troll talk was another reason why I deleted it. If you guys thought I was a troll making things up
> I wasn’t.


Troll comments I did not buy into.


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## Mystery Train (Aug 23, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> 80% of the thread was garbage. Only about 20% of it contained good information that would of been good for posterity.


Welcome to the internet.


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## foreveryoung (Aug 23, 2019)

Don’t watch film with your 9 year old.  Totally not age appropriate. It’s the same thing as the ride home talk, you are just doing it at a later time and with visuals.  Let her enjoy and have fun playing a sport.

If you lighten up (it’s just kids playing a sport!) you will likely feel better and so will everyone around you.


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## broshark (Aug 23, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> I never talked bad about the player. Like I mentioned to you guys I am the only parent on the team going out of my way to help her. The debate was on how to handle the situation not about bashing anyone


You literally blamed her for all of the losses your daughter's team has suffered at "big tournaments".  Lulz.


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## Grace T. (Aug 23, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> But she enjoys it. I think if you can get her to enjoy it it’s fine. It’s made her soccer IQ so much better. Believe me if she didn’t want to I wouldn’t be forcing her


Ok if she enjoys seeing herself because that’s all it is. Studies have shown kids can’t learn from video until from ages 11-13. They don’t have the mental maturity to view themselves abstractly and learn from it. So they only take the praise or chastisement that comes with it. Unless you are saying your daughter is an early abstract mechanics unicorn in addition to being a young soccer prodigy.


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## Grace T. (Aug 23, 2019)

I was sad that thread was gone but maybe we’ll recreate here.


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## Desert Hound (Aug 23, 2019)

Grace T. said:


> I was sad that thread was gone but maybe we’ll recreate here.


Well will just count this thread as an extension to the old thread. 

"What can we do about bench players costing us BIG GAMES AND TOURNAMENTS"

Now he says I wasn't blaming the bench players. 

Let us continue the thread shall we...hehe


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## Grace T. (Aug 23, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> My daughter is very advanced in mathematics and can understand complex problems well in school. I was the same way when I was young. I think there maybe exceptions in these studies there are loopholes. How do I know she gets it? Because she normally gives me the right answers when asked certain questions. So this tells me she understands these more complex ideas in soccer as well.


Yes there are always outliers and it’s possible she’s both a double unicorn in athletics and abstract thought. It’s separate from soccer though because the abstraction is being able to see an avatar of yourself outside of yourself... most 8 year olds are just able to just comprehend their personhood barely. But understand that not only are you now going against the Nscaa recommendations, us soccer, this forum and the way the rest of the non-communist world trains, but now your claiming she’s an outlier on the mental maturity studies that have been run.


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## Chalklines (Aug 23, 2019)

Surf Zombie said:


> Has the coach of your child’s team, or any of the parents of her teammates, seen the other thread you started?  Can’t imagine it’s going to be a warm and fuzzy sideline from here on out.


Someone emailed the coach a link. The bench player mentioned has taken Luis's DD spot on the field


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## watfly (Aug 23, 2019)

I'm not sure which is worse the "misguided motives" or the "sanctimonious responses"...I think I'm leaning towards the latter.


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## LASTMAN14 (Aug 23, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> Ohh great the trolls are coming back...


Most of the posters (not all) that responded are not trolls. As they have been around a long time and been contributors.


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## Emma (Aug 23, 2019)

Luis, you're probably not the most eloquent of people but you seem to have your heart in the right place.  There's no solution but patience, time, and support for bench players.  It will make your daughter a better player, the team a better team, and will be great for youth soccer overall bc bench players may be the unicorns of tomorrow.   Good job on offering help but just make sure it's welcomed.  Probably need to think and edit a lot before you post bc there are lots of lawyers on this forum that will tear it apart.  A lot of what you type can easily be negatively interpreted as attack on children and people are rightfully defensive about that.  She's your kid, you know how smart she is and how much pushing vs freedom she needs.  You probably are aware that she needs her "fun" activities too and are making appropriate time for it.  She is under 10 and you never know what happens from now until her eligibility for USWNT arrives, so make sure she (and the people around her) enjoy the long journey that may end quickly.  Good luck to your daughter, her team mates, and your family.  Hope she makes the USWNT one day or grow up to be a happy and confident woman.


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## soccerfam714 (Aug 23, 2019)

Emma said:


> Luis, you're probably not the most eloquent of people but you seem to have your heart in the right place.  There's no solution but patience, time, and support for bench players.  It will make your daughter a better player, the team a better team, and will be great for youth soccer overall bc bench players may be the unicorns of tomorrow.   Good job on offering help but just make sure it's welcomed.  Probably need to think and edit a lot before you post bc there are lots of lawyers on this forum that will tear it apart.  A lot of what you type can easily be negatively interpreted as attack on children and people are rightfully defensive about that.  She's your kid, you know how smart she is and how much pushing vs freedom she needs.  You probably are aware that she needs her "fun" activities too and are making appropriate time for it.  She is under 10 and you never know what happens from now until her eligibility for USWNT arrives, so make sure she (and the people around her) enjoy the long journey that may end quickly.  Good luck to your daughter, her team mates, and your family.  Hope she makes the USWNT one day or grow up to be a happy and confident woman.


Well said


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## LASTMAN14 (Aug 23, 2019)

Emma said:


> Luis, you're probably not the most eloquent of people but you seem to have your heart in the right place.  There's no solution but patience, time, and support for bench players.  It will make your daughter a better player, the team a better team, and will be great for youth soccer overall bc bench players may be the unicorns of tomorrow.   Good job on offering help but just make sure it's welcomed.  Probably need to think and edit a lot before you post bc there are lots of lawyers on this forum that will tear it apart.  A lot of what you type can easily be negatively interpreted as attack on children and people are rightfully defensive about that.  She's your kid, you know how smart she is and how much pushing vs freedom she needs.  You probably are aware that she needs her "fun" activities too and are making appropriate time for it.  She is under 10 and you never know what happens from now until her eligibility for USWNT arrives, so make sure she (and the people around her) enjoy the long journey that may end quickly.  Good luck to your daughter, her team mates, and your family.  Hope she makes the USWNT one day or grow up to be a happy and confident woman.


You don’t post enough. Good stuff on your last two. Especially the notes.


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## Poconos (Aug 23, 2019)

SoccerFan4Life said:


> Us parents get so infatuated with youth soccer that you end up pushing your child away from the sport without realizing.
> 
> A friend of mine had a situation in his team where the kid would hate the long talks after a game on the ride back home.   One day the child had a really bad game and she warned her dad that she didn’t want to hear any criticism from the dad on the ride home or she would quit soccer.
> 
> The dad couldn’t hold it and started talking to her about how bad she played.   That was the last day that 13 year kid played soccer.


That blows.  I go out of my way to discuss all of the good stuff my daughter does in a game during the post mortems, even when the outcome was less than positive.  My Father was the same and I never quit any sports.


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## Emma (Aug 23, 2019)

LASTMAN14 said:


> You don’t post enough. Good stuff on your last two. Especially the notes.


I'm scared if I post too much, I might get a "What happened to THE Emma thread" one day.  Plus, looking back at my post, I see a bunch of grammar problems too. Kicker4Life seems like a nice person but has been on the look for grammar flaws of late.


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## Poconos (Aug 23, 2019)

LASTMAN14 said:


> You don’t post enough. Good stuff on your last two. Especially the notes.


agreed, there's a lot of piling on going on here.  blood in the water or something.


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## Poconos (Aug 23, 2019)

watfly said:


> I'm not sure which is worse the "misguided motives" or the "sanctimonious responses"...I think I'm leaning towards the latter.


you win the internet


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## LASTMAN14 (Aug 23, 2019)

Emma said:


> I'm scared if I post too much, I might get a "What happened to THE Emma thread" one day.  Plus, looking back at my post, I see a bunch of grammar problems too. Kicker4Life seems like a nice person but has been on the look for grammar flaws of late.


K4L is a good guy. Known him forever.


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## justified (Aug 23, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> I guess you can say I came off too strong with my viewpoints and women got offended that’s it. But now after they saw what I’ve done with my DD they all are doing the extra trainings and following suit. I was the one telling them that 2 practices a week ain’t gonna cut it if they want to develop their DD’s faster.


Many kids that over train at young ages (your DDs team age group) quit playing earlier due to overuse injuries. Some kids can definitely handle it. Sure sign of overuse as the kids grow are when they are slower when they should be faster, regular injuries, nagging injuries. That was part of the 80%/20% in the last thread that parents who have been there/done that were trying to tell you. They were trying to save you... from yourself.  Remember, it's what the kids can do, not what they can not do.


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## Kicker4Life (Aug 23, 2019)

Emma said:


> I'm scared if I post too much, I might get a "What happened to THE Emma thread" one day.  Plus, looking back at my post, I see a bunch of grammar problems too. Kicker4Life seems like a nice person but has been on the look for grammar flaws of late.


You have nothing to worry about!  That “grammar” post had a hidden agenda.  My grammar is terrible!


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## SBGCDALife (Aug 23, 2019)

justified said:


> Many kids that over train at young ages (your DDs team age group) quit playing earlier due to overuse injuries. Some kids can definitely handle it. Sure sign of overuse as the kids grow are when they are slower when they should be faster, regular injuries, nagging injuries. That was part of the 80%/20% in the last thread that parents who have been there/done that were trying to tell you. They were trying to save you... from yourself.  Remember, it's what the kids can do, not what they can not do.


What would someone consider over training for the kids in the 2010-2007 range?


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## Desert Hound (Aug 23, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> I never directly said we lost cause of her. It’s the team that lost.


Let us review the title of your original post shall we. 

"How to deal with bench players costing the team from getting deep into the Big Tournaments"

Now my English might not be that good, but that sure seems like you are saying your DD's team is losing because of bench players. 

If I am wrong, how else should I read the title of your post?


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## justified (Aug 23, 2019)

SBGCDALife said:


> What would someone consider over training for the kids in the 2010-2007 range?


Good question. I was specifically pointing to pushing kids beyond what they are actually able to do. A club team of kids that age, 2 practices is good, my opinion.  His kid could handle more, apparently, but to say that the others could, at that age, was likely pushing kids beyond their limit. In trying to save him from himself, other parents are telling him to dial back the mental and the physical. I think there's a big difference from a 2010 to a 2007. A 12 year old can handle a lot more than a 9 year old. Personally, 2 trainings / week is good plus a game. If there's more it shouldn't be about fitness. Speaking from experience, I've seen fewer kids who could handle more than those who could, just because the kids are growing a lot at that age and there's an easy opportunity to overdo it on a foundation that is not set yet. Looking at those kids now, who were doing 3/trainings a week, multiple tournaments, before hitting the teenage years, looking back I see plantar fasciitis, Osgood Slaughter, etc. (not just soccer, since all sports push it now at younger ages). And for the kids who could handle it, those kids are thriving. But do a little research on elite basketball players, many had severe injuries before leaving HS.


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## Grace T. (Aug 23, 2019)

justified said:


> Good question. I was specifically pointing to pushing kids beyond what they are actually able to do. A club team of kids that age, 2 practices is good, my opinion.  His kid could handle more, apparently, but to say that the others could, at that age, was likely pushing kids beyond their limit. In trying to save him from himself, other parents are telling him to dial back the mental and the physical. I think there's a big difference from a 2010 to a 2007. A 12 year old can handle a lot more than a 9 yearHS.


I agree that between 12 and 9 there’s a huge range.  At 9 maximum 2 team practices and an additional skills or private training. If a keeper maybe add keeper training assuming the kid is willing and able. 

I do think 2 teams during the season (even if one is rec) is a bit much.

If the kid without prompting and without cleats wants to bang on a wall or play at school without adult prompting more power to them


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## Mic Nificent (Aug 23, 2019)

Isn’t doing like three tournaments a month and sometimes playing 3-5 games that weekend over training? What other sport in this world professional or amateur other than youth soccer plays 3-5 games in one weekend?? Plus 2-4 days of practice during the week. Point being coaches and clubs that run these tournaments don’t give a damn about over training or protecting the kids because there is too much money to be made. A one tournament rule per month per team should be enforced with something like only doing a recovery session the following week of a tournament instead of right back to regular training schedule


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## Mic Nificent (Aug 23, 2019)

Didn’t  Luis admit he went about the previous post the wrong way. Let’s let it go and give him helpful and constructive advice. My advice Luis is to let it go as far as the bench player is concerned. You can’t control that situation and it’s up to the coach. I would either get on board with what the coach is doing if you believe in him or keep trying out at different clubs/teams until you find what fits for you and your daughter roster wise from top to bottom. I feel no matter what players on any team will never all be on the same level.


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## Mic Nificent (Aug 23, 2019)

It’s not always the best most skillful players that deserve to be on a team. A lot of times it’s attitude, work ethic, are they a cancer to team chemistry or do they add to it?, are they coachable and other factors that can’t be measured by stats or just plain skill. Honestly if you want to control the roster and have the final say and make cuts or anything has to do with developing a team why not become a coach?


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## Mic Nificent (Aug 23, 2019)

i Believe at this age all players should play equally and different positions. The only way to get that “bench player” comfortable in big games is letting him/her play, make mistakes and learn from them. The coach should be the one creating the culture of team where not everything hinges on if won or lost the game or tournament. Tournaments, rankings shouldn’t even matter if the coach/club is really about development. No is getting scouted or recruited by colleges or professional teams. This is the time to play, make mistakes, develop and have fun.


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## Mic Nificent (Aug 23, 2019)

My youngest is 10 and my oldest is 20. Trust me the kid dominating at U10 etc. doesn’t translate to him/her being that same beast as they get older. If your kid loves the game and wants to be a “pro” or play in college the hustle, desire, work ethic, discipline and all else that it takes will come from within our own kids. If they say I want to be the best or this and that then I would consider the extra training and all that and see how the kid responds. I always say listen to what they are saying but pay more attention to their actions.


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## Mic Nificent (Aug 23, 2019)

sorry for ranting people......


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## Anon9 (Aug 23, 2019)

2 things:

1) I asked a doctor for my daughter’s 10 year old physical, how much is too much when it comes to training or physical activity at young ages for girls. His answer: if they want to play, let them play. If they’re not complaining or asking for a break, let them play. As the girls get older, listen to them about how they feel and modify their schedule.

2) Luis Andres, 2 mistakes in all of this;  putting your mentality out there, as in for acceptance or approval from others (obviously that backfired), and your priorities of results over development. And no, they do not go together. It’s OK to be a very involved parent and help your kids develop. I do it all the time. My daughter is 11 and soccer is a huge part of our life. 5-7 days a week, year round. However, I NEVER care about what other girls on her team are doing/not doing. I NEVER worry about results. And most importantly, I don’t think my daughter is better than anyone else. She has 1 goal in life, and that is to graduate college and live a good life, something me and my wife couldn’t do.


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## Anon9 (Aug 23, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> I can most definitely agree with you on this. Specially if your goal and your daughter’s goal is to graduate from college. In the case with my DD she has expressed to me that she wants to be a professional player and play for the national team one day. Which is fine with me if she wants that dream to happen and I told her that she will need to work harder than everyone
> else if she wants to accomplish this goal. So as long as she wants to have that goal, I will push her harder than if she tells me I don’t want to be a professional player in the future. If she decides later that she does not want to take this path anymore, then I will back off and let her be. But as long as she wants to be, then she knows that she needs to work harder than everyone else to accomplish this goal.


Here we go again. If my son says “daddy, I want to be a firefighter!” That doesn’t mean I make him climb ladders and drive a bulldozer at age 10. There are college students that change their majors in their last year of college. Things happen: injuries, boyfriends, etc. 
As a piece of advice, focus on what is really important, and if soccer becomes a part of that through the journey then great! The salary cap for a team in the NWSL is $421,500. Do the math!


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## Calisoccer11 (Aug 23, 2019)

Omg - the day that Luis Andres' DD doesn't start the game and is - gasp- sitting on the bench.  I know you think that will never happen.  

Please watch this documentary - https://www.hbo.com/documentaries/state-of-play-trophy-kids

Lots of things to learn from it.


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## Anon9 (Aug 23, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> Ok yes you make a good point, things happen like injuries etc and salaries are not worth pursuing etc. But for me it’s more about the lesson I’m trying to teach her as far as what it will take as far as effort and work. I want her to understand that having that goal means working harder than anyone else. That’s where I’m coming from. Of course she needs to finish school and I want her to go to college and have a backup plan that’s a given. But once again becoming a firefighter or pursuing a degree is not a good comparison to becoming a professional athlete. Becoming a professional athlete requires hard work and aim for mastery from a young age. I can say I’m going back to college to become an engineer or lawyer or going to the fire academy to become a firefighter. I cannot say at this age I want to become a professional athlete. It’s way too late for that my friend. You need to be training before puberty to become a professional athlete one day. I’ve never heard of someone becoming a professional athlete and starting to train and get into the sport after puberty.


Ummmmm......... 
The face of the WNT didn’t play club soccer until U14. ZERO “big tournament” trophies before puberty.


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## Grace T. (Aug 23, 2019)

Calisoccer11 said:


> Omg - the day that Luis Andres' DD doesn't start the game and is - gasp- sitting on the bench.  I know you think that will never happen.
> 
> Please watch this documentary - https://www.hbo.com/documentaries/state-of-play-trophy-kids
> 
> Lots of things to learn from it.


I’d recommend “bad parents” for him. Not saying he’s a bad parent. But I think he’d be amused by the film.


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## Calisoccer11 (Aug 23, 2019)

Grace T. said:


> I’d recommend “bad parents” for him. Not saying he’s a bad parent. But I think he’d be amused by the film.


Yes but I liked Trophy Kids and Luis may see himself in those parents and maybe would cringe a little.    But Bad Parents is hilarious - best line is "You all are like diamonds and some of you need to be CUT!"  Lol - I think it was something like that.....


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## Kicker4Life (Aug 23, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> Another thing that no one has talked about here as well is the concept of self-efficacy as a required trait for becoming an elite professional athlete as in a sport like soccer. The belief in yourself that you can accomplish a specific task or goal under any given circumstance plays a major role in the development of elite athletes. Studies have shown that the athletes that go on to become professional players have this trait from a very young age. It can be described as mental toughness to some. Your will to persevere in extreme and tough situations. Do you have what it takes to play in the big games. Are you able to perform in the most competitive situations. A quality that I see in some young athletes and don’t see in others. Can you develop this trait? Maybe...Do some kids have this naturally? Yes I’ve seen it on the field.  A quality that I see in my DD. Is her ability to keep her poise and perform and execute on the field in the toughest most competitive situations. This is where one may draw the line and distinguish the practice players from the actual game players. For me it’s a very important trait to posses and can be used as one of the measures for potential to play in the higher levels of competition within a sport


Those traits as well as many other physical and mental traits will change as these kids age.  Take it from those on this forum that have been thru the process more than once and have seen hundreds of players evolve from u8 - u16.  You’re right that many who show these traits early tend to keep them.  But I’ve seen many who don’t have that “mental toughness” as a kid, develop it as they get older and grow.  

 You seem to think Alex Morgan is a statistical outlier because she didn’t play club until u14 and discount the value of any trophies she may have won at u8 -13 in the AYSO circuit.  Not sure why.  Do we know she wasn’t doing any training as a kid but just enjoyed the purity of AYSO?

Look, trophies are nice but they don’t define one’s future success.  Choose the right Coach and environment that keeps your kid engaged, developing and loving the game and I promise you your DD will define her success.  If you think she has “it” she will prove it to you.  Just give HER the tools and encouragement!


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## Mic Nificent (Aug 23, 2019)

The ladder and bulldozer comparison is irrelevant. You can learn to climb a ladder and drive a bulldozer within a couple of days (i worked on ladders as a dish installer and operated bulldozers to tractor trailer and forklift etc while in the Army). You learn those things in a few days/weeks and get certified. CANNOT train some who never played soccer for a couple of months and expect them to make a pro or college roster. Apples and oranges....Let’s be fair to Luis and not just talk trash


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## Mic Nificent (Aug 23, 2019)

What works for one doesn’t work for all. None of our kids are Álex Morgan so let’s not compare her path.


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## Dominic (Aug 23, 2019)

Grace T. said:


> He upgraded to platinum. Can they delete threads they create?  If so it’s a shame. We needed that one for posterity.


PLATINUM MEMBERSHIP:

1. View Members Profiles/posts
2. Search function enabled
3. *Delete own posts and own threads*
4. Edit own posts and thread titles
5. Edit signature
6. Can view users who are viewing threads and read threads.
7. Delete other users ratings and likes.
8. Edit profile

*http://www.socalsoccer.com/account/upgrades*

*Helps pay for the dedicated server at hivelocity.net *


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## Dominic (Aug 23, 2019)

Link to your tournament this weekend Luis?


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## Calisoccer11 (Aug 23, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> t may stem from her advanced technical ability to control the ball which stems from all the extra training she’s had over her peers from the same age group. Which helps her play with confidence. This is where one may draw the line and distinguish the practice players from the actual game players. For me it’s a very important trait to posses and can be used as one of the measures for potential to play in the higher levels of competition within a spor


Please google "Todd Marinovich".  Thanks - good night.  I'm completely done and heart broken for this poor little girl.  I can't look at this train wreck any longer.


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## Fact (Aug 23, 2019)

I stick with my original post in the original thread. Luis you exemplify what is wrong with youth sports. We all saw you posts so no back peddling. You  have an issue with any little girl that you feel is making your dds team lose.  Don't try to now sell us on the idea that you are just trying to help.  I have seen tons on nut jobs like you over the years.  And I don't see you changing before you ruin the beautiful game for a lot of families and children.

Do your dd and every family that potentially may come in contact with you a favor and let your wife bring your dd to every practice and game.  You do not belong at the field with your attitude.  It is your right to destroy your dd if you want to, but you have no right to criticize others, especially children and especially on a public forum when you make it blatantly obvious what team your dd is on.  You are disgusting.


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## Fact (Aug 23, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> I just did...*Todd Marvin Marinovich* (born *Marvin Scott Marinovich* on July 4, 1969) is a former American and Canadian football quarterback. He played for the Los Angeles Raiders of the National Football League, and also in the Canadian Football League and Arena Football League. He is currently the QBs/strength coach for the San Diego Strike Force of the Indoor Football League. He last played for the California Developmental League Football Team, the SoCal Coyotes. Marinovich is known for the well-documented, intense focus of his training as a young athlete, and for his brief career upon reaching the professional leagues that was cut short primarily because of his addiction to drugs.
> 
> Gosh man what a terrible example this is. How can you correlate intense focus in training as a young athlete to end up getting your professional career cut short because of an addiction to drugs. Are you trying to say that someone who focuses on intense training as young athlete is prone to be a drug addict when they become adults? I just can’t buy this. It’s a sad story though. I don’t wish it on anyone.


Dude you are an idiot if you cannot see the big picture.


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## sdb (Aug 23, 2019)

Google Marv Marinovich also. The story is in the way Todd’s dad raised him and trained him from a young age. A lot of pressure at a young age by an over bearing father who was trying to raise an elite athlete.


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## Poconos (Aug 24, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> Enlighten me then. What’s the big picture That’s what It says on him.


Give it up Luis.  No amount of contrition will allow you to avoid the mob's wrath.


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## Fact (Aug 24, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> As it is they don’t like me very much at least the women don’t. My wife is the team mom.  I got kicked out of the WhatsApp group chat for expressing my feeling to bluntly after statecup but that’s it. Coach can kick us off the team but he hasn’t to date. Maybe it’s cause of my DD cause he’s let go a couple players since we started this team. Not sure really. I’ll leave if he wants us to. No problem. But so far this year it’s all good. As long as I’m not on the chat. I’m
> Fine with it. But I’ve learned.


Obviously the parents on the team don’t like you for a reason.  Do everyone a favor and get lost.


----------



## pewpew (Aug 24, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> As it is they don’t like me very much at least the women don’t. My wife is the team mom.  I got kicked out of the WhatsApp group chat for expressing my feeling to bluntly after statecup but that’s it. Coach can kick us off the team but he hasn’t to date. Maybe it’s cause of my DD cause he’s let go a couple players since we started this team. Not sure really. I’ll leave if he wants us to. No problem. But so far this year it’s all good. As long as I’m not on the chat. I’m
> Fine with it. But I’ve learned.


I wonder why they don’t like you??
Coach should send your ass packing. Which would be unfortunate for your kid that she has an a-hole for a dad who couldn’t keep his mouth shut and therefore got her canned from a team due to forces outside of her control. 
I really do hope you’ve learned something out of all this. 



Grace T. said:


> He upgraded to platinum. Can they delete threads they create?  If so it’s a shame. We needed that one for posterity.


As long as I get to keep all my good ratings from the previous thread and it doesn’t deduct from my post count I’m cool with a new thread.


----------



## focomoso (Aug 24, 2019)

SoccerFan4Life said:


> Us parents get so infatuated with youth soccer that you end up pushing your child away from the sport without realizing.
> 
> A friend of mine had a situation in his team where the kid would hate the long talks after a game on the ride back home.   One day the child had a really bad game and she warned her dad that she didn’t want to hear any criticism from the dad on the ride home or she would quit soccer.
> 
> The dad couldn’t hold it and started talking to her about how bad she played.   That was the last day that 13 year kid played soccer.


Rule number one of youth soccer. We don't talk about youth soccer.

... in the car after games...


----------



## Mic Nificent (Aug 24, 2019)

Same with Andre Agassi but he also said if weren’t for his Dad he would not have become the tennis player he became. There is a fine line between helping your kid pursue their dream and forcing them to pursue your dream. You need to really know if your kid is passionate and wants the work or likes the idea of being a “professional” soccer player or playing in college.


----------



## Mic Nificent (Aug 24, 2019)

A quote from Agassi about his Dad. He hated him as a kid but as an adult appreciates what he did for him. He even goes on to say if it weren’t for his overbearing dad he would not be successful in his second profession which is education. I personally believe if your kid truly wants anything in life it will come from them. They’ll ask for extra training and everything that comes with it.


----------



## rainbow_unicorn (Aug 24, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> And then I ask her what she and her teammates could have done better next time.


If you want to watch video and focus on your daughter...fine.  But save yourself the headache and don’t worry about what her teammates could do better.  Focus on your daughter’s development, be civil with teammate parents (i.e. don’t blast them on group chat) and paths will open up down the road.


----------



## Chalklines (Aug 24, 2019)

@Luis Andres

Who's fault was today's loss on? 

We know it can't be on the "top 1v1 player".


----------



## Threeyardsback (Aug 24, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> @Chalklines looking at the rules. Seems like all we have to do is win tomorrow to get into finals and have our rematch against this Slammers team we already beat Cruz slammers. If there is a tie in points it’s head to head match as deciding factor then it’s goal differentials. So it ain’t over til the fat lady sings. Soccer is a game of strategy and adjustments


Good luck tomorrow


----------



## Fact (Aug 24, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> lol. Yes this slammers team had very good defense and all they play was kickball no offense. It was 1-1 tie til the end my DD did her job and scored. We had them pinned back the whole game. Shot after shot. 80% possession for us. Their goalie and huge defensive line was very impressive. They kicked a long ball from the back at the end our goalie came out. Miscalculated the timing bounced over her head. Still hope though to get into finals if we shut out the Crowley team and see how Cruz slammers do. Unfortunately the way they set up this tournament favored all the slammer teams cause they all played the weakest 2 teams. I’m hoping we get to finals and our rematch. Should be fun


You are an idiot.


----------



## Fact (Aug 24, 2019)

Yes you are an idiot.


----------



## Fact (Aug 24, 2019)

And the parents on your dds team hates you.


----------



## Fact (Aug 24, 2019)

How do you think that benefits your dd, especially when you come on a public forum and talk smack about little girls?  Sorry but too late deleting your posts, everyone saw them.


----------



## Fact (Aug 24, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> Well what can I say mr. @Fact.. We lost a good battle. Our new goalie made a mistake but she saved a few long shots in the game. Proud of her. She’s young and she’s learning. Yes this Slammers team we just played is good. The girls are huge, athletic, they can hit the ball from way out. In my opinion they are better than the Cruz team (at least defensively). Look out for them in the near future, they will be contenders to other tournaments.


LOL


----------



## timbuck (Aug 24, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> I would not say anything about her that I haven’t already mentioned to her father’s face. He understands the issue and is also looking for a solution to help her out.  I’m not mentioning any names either. So relax cowboy.


The solution is to move her to a team with similar skills and with parents with similar expectations.  Or you move your kid to a team that has similar skills and aspirations. 

If you approached me (as someone other than a coach or member of the club) and told me that my kid was the weak link-  there would be a big problem.  
And bro-  the season hasn’t even started yet. Summer tournaments are 75% bullshit anyway-  kids on vacation.  Guests coming from all over the place.  Coaches scrambling to cover 3 teams at different venues.

So take your kid and the 6 studs and start looking for a new club now.  Tryouts start again in December.  I’m sure you can work out a deal with xyz club that your kid can play for free if you can promise that 6 girls will follow.


----------



## OCsoccerdad7777 (Aug 24, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> Well what can I say mr. @Fact.. We lost a good battle. Our new goalie made a mistake but she saved a few long shots in the game. Proud of her. She’s young and she’s learning. Yes this Slammers RG/PA team we just played is good. The girls are huge, athletic, they can hit the ball from way out. In my opinion they are better than the Cruz team (at least defensively). Look out for them in the near future, they will be contenders to other tournaments.


What happened to we win as a team, lose as a team? Not goalie made mistake but my DD did her job? How about we controlled the game but just lost the game on a lucky shot or something like that? 

You show NO mental toughness by constantly letting the public forum users get under your skin. Trying to defend and brag about you and you dd who's only 9. You're way to soft skinned if so.
Is that genetics that can be passed down to your dd as well? Better hope not or she won't last if she's like you. Soccer is just as much about mental toughness as physical and you sir are showing nothing.


----------



## Fact (Aug 24, 2019)

timbuck said:


> The solution is to move her to a team with similar skills and with parents with similar expectations.  Or you move your kid to a team that has similar skills and aspirations.
> If you approached me (as someone other than a coach or member of the club) and told me that my kid was the weak link-  there would be a big problem.
> And bro-  the season hasn’t even started yet. Summer tournaments are 75% bullshit anyway-  kids on vacation.  Guests coming from all over the place.  Coaches scrambling to cover 3 teams at different venues.
> 
> So take your kid and the 6 studs and start looking for a new club now.  Tryouts start again in December.  I’m sure you can work out a deal with xyz club that your kid can play for free if you can promise that 6 girls will follow.


Nice thought but if he was on a team with parents of similar aspirations, it would be all out war at age nine!  I can't tell you how many good teams I have seen implode because of one too many d-bags like Luis when all the kiddos were playing at a high level and perfectly content.  Parents like Luis ruin it for EVERYONE!


----------



## Fact (Aug 24, 2019)

OCsoccerdad7777 said:


> What happened to we win as a team, lose as a team? Not goalie made mistake but my DD did her job? How about we controlled the game but just lost the game on a lucky shot or something like that?
> 
> You show NO mental toughness by constantly letting the public forum users get under your skin. Trying to defend and brag about you and you dd who's only 9. You're way to soft skinned if so.
> Is that genetics that can be passed down to your dd as well? Better hope not or she won't last if she's like you. Soccer is just as much about mental toughness as physical and you sir are showing nothing.


I'd say split personality but I am sure the d-bag got caught by parents and coaches and that is why he deleted his thread.  Now he is attempting to back-peddle and act like a hero, trying to help a little girl improve.  Unfortunately, once a d-bag, always a d-bag and his crap is oozing out.


----------



## HappyBeast (Aug 25, 2019)

Damn these threads are addictive. When my daughter was a U10. I read Abby Wambach's Forward and Carly Lloyd's When Nobody Was Watching. What they said about their relationships with their parents broke my heart. It made me re-think some of the things I was doing. (There are also young reader versions that our daughter enjoyed.) My assumption is that every parent who is  on this forum has a kid with gifts. A kid whose primary focus is soccer. I am grateful for things I learn from parents of older kids with regard to injuries, college recruiting, high school soccer. I am grateful to parents of kids a similar age who share information about schedules and changes in leagues. I am grateful to the parents of younger kids who remind me how crazed I sometimes felt when I was trying to figure things out. My advice to Luis Andres and other parents of strong young players is slow down. I hope this is a really long journey for your family. Nag your daughter to hydrate, stretch and wear sun screen. Cultivate good relationships with other families on the team. You will need them in unexpected ways. Also, I applaud Luis Andres for making a choice to stay more with his daughter at this age. Long commutes through SoCal traffic should be saved for game days.


----------



## soccerobserver (Aug 25, 2019)

Building on Happy Beast’s comments above here is the link to a summary of Carly Lloyd’s comments on her rift with her overly critical Dad and overly controlling soccer parents:

https://www.nj.com/rutgersfootball/2016/09/carli_lloyd_no_longer_has_a_relationship_with_her.html


----------



## 46n2 (Aug 25, 2019)

Luis , you should delete this thread, because in 4-5 years guaranteed your going to delete your DD love of soccer.


----------



## The Outlaw *BANNED* (Aug 25, 2019)

Luis, we already know how your story will end.  You will play for 5 different clubs in 7 years and other girls and their families will begin to resent you and your kid.  Eventually, your kid will stop playing because of your presence and your kid will be ostracized because of you.  Several here are trying to save you, or more importantly, your child, because in all this back peddling I've yet you see you really look in the mirror.  There's still time to just watch your kid evolve, and the subsequent highs and lows that are sure to follow, but don't be THAT dad who ruins the opportunity for your player.  You're fortunate it's early and there's still time to turn things around.


----------



## Fact (Aug 25, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> I’m learning and I have become better in my ways. I used to talk a lot during games now I’m just quiet and record the games. I thinks it’s a problem with parents in this age group and younger


The only reason you are now quiet is because you have already been banned from the team chat and no one will talk to you.

Denial that it is only a problem at the younger ages.  You just see more of it because as the kids get to be preteens, they either quit due to being embarrassed by parents like you or no team will accept a kid with a parent like you.

Screw up your kid if you want to, but leave all the other families alone and STOP posting about them.


----------



## OCsoccerdad7777 (Aug 25, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> If I would have said that then I would have gotten slammed the other way for saying that the other team got a lucky shot without giving the details. I can’t take away from the other team either, they were solid defensively even though they had no offense. Now I’m here trying to convince one of the parents on our team to bring her daughter to the game today cause he was so upset in the way we lost yesterday. We still have a shot to get into the finals and win.


That was just an example.  Could have said the team won on a nice shot by defender or whomever. And if still slammed you didn't single anyone out again.

But again you are showing mental weakness here by letting all these strangers on a public forum get to you. Stop worrying about what everyone says and more importantly stop blaming other kids and bragging on how your daughter played did her job even if it's true. Stay classy and teach your daughter to say the right things for the team. 
Sounds like there are more bacteria parents on the team and you may be contributing to it. You have a choice.


----------



## Yuza hata (Aug 25, 2019)

Fact said:


> The only reason you are now quiet is because you have already been banned from the team chat and no one will talk to you.
> 
> Denial that it is only a problem at the younger ages.  You just see more of it because as the kids get to be preteens, they either quit due to being embarrassed by parents like you or no team will accept a kid with a parent like you.
> 
> Screw up your kid if you want to, but leave all the other families alone and STOP posting about them.


You play on the same team? Damn Lewis banned from the team chat.


----------



## Grace T. (Aug 25, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> If you guys think. I’m bad then you haven’t seen some of the other parents on the other teams. Let me tell you it’s  pretty bad out there. I’m actually one of the better ones now


Sadly this might very well be true. Given the .org and it’s a Younger’s team it’s believable. 

I’m more curious how the Ayso team he’s coaching will behave


----------



## Chalklines (Aug 25, 2019)

I think the only way to properly help Luis is to just attach the link to this thread and text his club and coach.

If enough of us do it, Luis will get help or at least kicked out of the program.

Cancer only spreads. 


*(747)EDITED

(818)EDITED

Dominic*


----------



## focomoso (Aug 25, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> Now I’m here trying to convince one of the parents on our team to bring her daughter to the game today cause he was so upset in the way we lost yesterday.


He was upset or his daughter was upset?


----------



## Dominic (Aug 25, 2019)

Chalklines said:


> I think the only way to properly help Luis is to just attach the link to this thread and text his club and coach.
> 
> If enough of us do it, Luis will get help or at least kicked out of the program.
> 
> ...


*Chalklines your possibly effecting his DD with this post, and she will not have any harm done to her indirectly from this forum. 

Dominic  *


----------



## Dominic (Aug 25, 2019)

https://tgs.totalglobalsports.com/public/schedules.aspx?eid=1184&fid=5813


----------



## Fact (Aug 25, 2019)

Yuza hata said:


> You play on the same team? Damn Lewis banned from the team chat.


No. He had another thread where he was bashing the weak player on his dds team.  He mentioned that he is banned for the team chat and that the other parents don’t like him.......and he still can’t take the hint.


----------



## Fact (Aug 25, 2019)

Grace T. said:


> Sadly this might very well be true. Given the .org and it’s a Younger’s team it’s believable.
> 
> I’m more curious how the Ayso team he’s coaching will behave


If I lived in the SGV I would pay to see them play.


----------



## Fact (Aug 25, 2019)

Chalklines said:


> I think the only way to properly help Luis is to just attach the link to this thread and text his club and coach.
> 
> If enough of us do it, Luis will get help or at least kicked out of the program.
> 
> ...


Maybe they could just kick him out, not his kiddo.


----------



## Fact (Aug 25, 2019)

Dominic said:


> *Chalklines your possibly effecting his DD with this post, and she will not have any harm done to her indirectly from this forum.
> 
> Dominic  *





Dominic said:


> https://tgs.totalglobalsports.com/public/schedules.aspx?eid=1184&fid=5813


Dominic you are awesome.


----------



## Fact (Aug 25, 2019)

Luis glad your team tied today and did not make the finals, but only because that means less time these poor families have to deal with you.


----------



## Fact (Aug 25, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> Thanks guys, not sure what happened today but the coach deliberately made some changes in the lineups to not advance to the finals. Done with this team. Done with this thread... @Dominic please delete my account. Thanks


What a complete loser.  Are you sure the coach and parents didn’t tell you to take a hike?  You might be done with the team but have you even asked your wife and dd what they want?  

You sure have learned a lot on this forum (sarcasm) but I do hope that at least you’ve learned to keep your mouth shut.  No one deserves to have to deal with the likes of you.

Please keep us updated on your AYSO team. I am sure they will accomplish great things.LOL


----------



## Yuza hata (Aug 25, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> Thanks guys, not sure what happened today but the coach deliberately made some changes in the lineups to not advance to the finals. Done with this team. Done with this thread... @Dominic please delete my account. Thanks


Aw man? So no blues cup? Hadori and you were perfect for each other.


----------



## Tim Powell (Aug 25, 2019)

That was an epic just-short-of-2-week run. 

I’m not a vet here but as far as SoCal Soccer users go, that would seem to me to be first ballot hall of fame stuff.


----------



## Speed (Aug 25, 2019)

I hate to even ask what team were they on? this took a whole lot of wine to get through this thread....


----------



## Anon9 (Aug 25, 2019)

Well that sucks. Luis Andres’ account and all his posts are gone. It was a very entertaining last few days. Back to normal life now, checking socalsoccer once a day instead of once every 5 minutes.


----------



## Fact (Aug 25, 2019)

Anon9 said:


> Well that sucks. Luis Andres’ account and all his posts are gone. It was a very entertaining last few days. Back to normal life now, checking socalsoccer once a day instead of once every 5 minutes.


Thankfully some of his posts will live on in our quotes.  I truly feel sorry for his wife (team manager) and dd as well as all the other families on the team.

Despite saying that he was learning, his last couple of posts showed that he clearly does not give a damn about who he hurts in his quest.  He should be the poster child for a lifetime ban at the soccer field.


----------



## Anon9 (Aug 25, 2019)

Fact said:


> Thankfully some of his posts will live on in our quotes.  I truly feel sorry for his wife (team manager) and dd as well as all the other families on the team.
> 
> Despite saying that he was learning, his last couple of posts showed that he clearly does not give a damn about who he hurts in his quest.  He should be the poster child for a lifetime ban at the soccer field.


I just got done watching Luis Miguel’s (Mexican (or Puerto Rican) pop singer) life story on Netflix. Luis Andres, if you’re reading this, please watch. Don’t end up like his dad.


----------



## OCsoccerdad7777 (Aug 25, 2019)

This site's traffic hits probably went off the charts the last couple of weeks.


----------



## Surf Zombie (Aug 26, 2019)

Would someone like to volunteer to take over the role of Luis to keep this comedy rolling on?


----------



## Chalklines (Aug 26, 2019)

Surf Zombie said:


> Would someone like to volunteer to take over the role of Luis to keep this comedy rolling on?


There's a handful in the 2011 section. I'm sure one will snap soon like Luis.


----------



## Supermodel56 (Aug 26, 2019)

Fact said:


> What a complete loser.  Are you sure the coach and parents didn’t tell you to take a hike?


The sad thing is, Luis thinks it’s over now that his accounts closed, but it’s such a small community, what team is going to want him and his kid on the team?!?  Feel bad for his DD the most...


----------



## Desert Hound (Aug 26, 2019)

Supermodel56 said:


> The sad thing is, Luis thinks it’s over now that his accounts closed, but it’s such a small community, what team is going to want him and his kid on the team?!?  Feel bad for his DD the most...


The dude is just crazy. His last post had him quitting on these boards...AND he didn't like the way the coach did things in the tournament and claims it cost another BIG win...and so he was done with that team as well. Prior to that parents kicked him off the teach chat. 

He is coloring outside the lines and will continue to do so. Too bad for his kid.


----------



## espola (Aug 26, 2019)

Desert Hound said:


> The dude is just crazy. His last post had him quitting on these boards...AND he didn't like the way the coach did things in the tournament and claims it cost another BIG win...and so he was done with that team as well. Prior to that parents kicked him off the teach chat.
> 
> He is coloring outside the lines and will continue to do so. Too bad for his kid.


I wonder if he has another account under a pseudonym already (or maybe since forever or so).


----------



## redhood (Aug 26, 2019)

espola said:


> I wonder if he has another account under a pseudonym already (or maybe since forever or so).


I promise you that he is @SoCalScouting and @OleOleOleOle


----------



## Supermodel56 (Aug 26, 2019)

soccerobserver said:


> Building on Happy Beast’s comments above here is the link to a summary of Carly Lloyd’s comments on her rift with her overly critical Dad and overly controlling soccer parents:
> 
> https://www.nj.com/rutgersfootball/2016/09/carli_lloyd_no_longer_has_a_relationship_with_her.html


It’s interesting, in all these stories, parents play such a huge role in their kids success and often it does include being very involved... depending on the approach, a lot of kids seem to resent it despite their success.  It seems like the key is to recognize when to hand it off and let the kid take ownership of it and just be there for them if they ask. 

It reminds me of the saying Win the battle, lose the War. Sure, your kid may be the best player in the world, but you lost them in the process...?


----------



## Luis Andres (Aug 26, 2019)

Seriously what do you guys want from me now?  I do not have any other accounts on this thread


----------



## jpeter (Aug 26, 2019)

Adults gone crazy over youth sports...yup seems to be getting more popular:
https://www.wsj.com/articles/youth-sports-have-gotten-too-crazy-they-can-be-fixed-11566504162

"Kids are walking away from the action early—the solution may be turning down the volume"

Adults getting too involved or vested on the outcome of games is like a disease or something so seek treatment.
https://changingthegameproject.com/the-race-to-nowhere-in-youth-sports/

Are we too obsessed with youth sports?
https://www.greatschools.org/gk/articles/parents-insane-team-sports/

Relax, enjoy the time with your children, they will find their own level/way.  Be the supportive parent for everyone and foster a love of the game and the journey.  The win & losses don't matter as much as your attitude does or the journey in most cases.


----------



## espola (Aug 26, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> Seriously what do you guys want from me now?  I do not have any other accounts on this thread


But you have had this one sitting unused since August 12?  Or have all your messages been deleted so you are "starting over"?


----------



## Desert Hound (Aug 26, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> Seriously what do you guys want from me now?  I do not have any other accounts on this thread


Tell us how the coach changed the lineup last weekend that cost the tournament finals.


----------



## Luis Andres (Aug 26, 2019)

Desert Hound said:


> Tell us how the coach changed the lineup last weekend that cost the tournament finals.


Started the bench. Put players in different positions that they normally were not used to playing. Maybe he was trying to set an example that he does not care to win but to develop his players


----------



## Luis Andres (Aug 26, 2019)

In fact he was the one that sent me the video the night before the game. https://www.ted.com/talks/sal_khan_let_s_teach_for_mastery_not_test_scores?utm_campaign=tedspread&utm_medium=referral&utm_source=tedcomshare


----------



## Supermodel56 (Aug 26, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> Seriously what do you guys want from me now?  I do not have any other accounts on this thread


I dunno man, I think you got some issues to work out within yourself man. I get it, you want the best for your kid. You want to win. You want your kid to know what it takes to be great. You think your kid is the shiz... So does everybody.

But here’s the deal. Soccer is a team sport. As with any team, there will be stronger players and weaker players. This isn’t cycling - or running... maybe you’re used to cycling where the team trains to help that one star cycler win... I dunno.

Either way, at this age group, kids aren’t getting paid to play. Parents are paying so their kid can play, learn from a coach, and get better, not sit on a bench. Nobody is there to watch YOUR kid play and score goals, seriously, nobody cares and what these parents on this board are trying to tell you is even if your kid is great and scores all these goals - at this age it means nothing. While wins are great, club soccer at this age is to develop kids. This means the whole point is for your kid and everyone else’s to get better from wherever they’re at. The wins don’t matter - at all. In fact, NOT being on the best team and learning the grit required to play through tough losses will do more for your kid than just winning every game. you getting all worked up over losing a game or tournament shows you have no clue.

We’ve had parents like you on our teams and I can describe them to you in one word: TOXIC. 

It’s not fun for the parents, the kids, heck, it’s not fun for you or your kid either. And what these parents are trying to tell you is, your attitude towards all this is gonna burn out your kid. Why? Because your focus is on the wins and not the process. In soccer, one player can not dictate if the team wins or not. Your DD may contribute, but she has no control over the end result. Hence, if your definition of success is winning a game/tournament, her key to her success is dependent on everyone else around her and less her own actions. So unless she’s on a team where everyone else plays great - she will not be successful. But in that case, if she’s on that great a team, they can probably win without her and her contributions will be minimal in comparison. In other words, even when she wins, she loses and her sense of accomplishment is misplaced. When you focus so much on the wins, you’re setting your kid and each kid on the team up for failure.

Contrast that to success being that your kid played well, used new skills, learned new moves, being the type of player that helps her teammates play better, not giving up when they’re down, knowing how to pass, be a playmaker, being a leader...  that is fully within her control and will help her be that much better player going forward.


----------



## redhood (Aug 26, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> Started the bench. Put players in different positions that they normally were not used to playing. Maybe he was trying to set an example that he does not care to win but to develop his players


Fire him.


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## Chalklines (Aug 26, 2019)

@Luis Andres

You have a good coach who's putting development first and actually giving the bench minutes. Your team won't be playing 7v7 forever. Developing a bench for that club needs to happen because it's not a popular destination for players.

If you want a sport to be all about your kid try track or join tennis. Sooner you get off your high horse the better for your daughter.


----------



## MijoPlumber (Aug 26, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> Seriously what do you guys want from me now?  I do not have any other accounts on this thread


Mijo, can’t believe all this. You should go on dr Phil. 

Humility, teach your DD to be a “team player” and respect your coach. If you don’t like it move on. You have a long way to go.   

On the other hand you gave Fact someone to hate on other than the DPL.  Muchos gracias!


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## Grace T. (Aug 26, 2019)

How small the world is....I just got an email blast from the club this guy's kid plays for touting a local review of the club (as I mentioned, we know a few people over there and my kid has done stuff with them).  The specific team is mentioned, as is the boys tournament they went to the finals on.  The club seems to have regarded it as a tremendous success and not a disappointment at all.  They in fact call that particular team "iconic" and an example of what is the "perfect soccer team".  The review (in addition to the usual puffing up of the club and its key people, who as I said before really are good people) emphasizes they are looking to develop stellar players, so they can move beyond the club to major academies.  I wonder if they've been reading all this stuff and felt it was necessary?


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## Luis Andres (Aug 26, 2019)

Grace T. said:


> How small the world is....I just got an email blast from the club this guy's kid plays for touting a local review of the club (as I mentioned, we know a few people over there and my kid has done stuff with them).  The specific team is mentioned, as is the boys tournament they went to the finals on.  The club seems to have regarded it as a tremendous success and not a disappointment at all.  They in fact call that particular team "iconic" and an example of what is the "perfect soccer team".  The review (in addition to the usual puffing up of the club and its key people, who as I said before really are good people) emphasizes they are looking to develop stellar players, so they can move beyond the club to major academies.  I wonder if they've been reading all this stuff and felt it was necessary?


Who knows you maybe right. As far as my DD this last game has got to be her worst game ever. She exited the field crying as it was her fault for giving up the goal by making a bad pass out the back. But I’m actually happy it happened. It’s an experience that she will grow from.


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## OrangeCountyDad (Aug 26, 2019)

i always thought these pre-season tournaments were just tune-ups and opportunities to try out different combinations of kids, different configurations, different tactics.

and now I'm hearing a coach intentionally lost a game?  come on.  it's not about you, sir.


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## Multi Sport (Aug 26, 2019)

This thread...wow. Gonna share this with my family. It's going to make for an interesting conversation.


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## Luis Andres (Aug 26, 2019)

OrangeCountyDad said:


> i always thought these pre-season tournaments were just tune-ups and opportunities to try out different combinations of kids, different configurations, different tactics.
> 
> and now I'm hearing a coach intentionally lost a game?  come on.  it's not about you, sir.


I wouldn’t go as far as to say intentionally trying to lose a game but playing a game by starting your bench and mixing up the normal player positions in a critical game where you needed the win to advance to the final. Wether it’s trying to lose a game or experimenting in a pre season tournament or trying to prove a point. Not sure. That’s up to you to interpret.


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## Supermodel56 (Aug 26, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> Who knows you maybe right. As far as my DD this last game has got to be her worst game ever. She exited the field crying as it was her fault for giving up the goal by making a bad pass out the back.


Now imagine how that other kid feels after every game... and you have some other dad trying to figure out what to do about your kid so your  kid stops losing games for them. And then the coach decides to finally start your kid, maybe the first time they started to give them confidence and that other dad goes, “man, why is the coach intentionally trying to lose the tournament?!?” 

I think the correct term here is, asshat.


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## Surf Zombie (Aug 26, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> Started the bench. Put players in different positions that they normally were not used to playing. Maybe he was trying to set an example that he does not care to win but to develop his players


My DD is starting her first year of ECNL (2007). Played in a relatively weak preseason tournament this past weekend.  They would have killed all the 2007 teams, so they played up in the 2006 division.  Coach played my kid, and all of her teammates, in 2-3 different positions.  Won first game 5-0. Both second and third games up 1-0 at half. Eventually lost both 1-2.  No one cares.  Why? Because it is an August pre-season tournament and the coach is not winning  at all cost. Rather, he is trying to develop the girls and give them looks at different spots on the field. 

We don’t need another $3 plastic trophy.  We need to know if the outside backs can also play the holding mid spot, we need to know if the right forward can play center forward, etc.  My kid got valuable minutes in a position she never  plays. But going forward she will better understand the role of the girl who plays that spot and hopefully it will help them link up play  when the actual meaningful games start.


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## JoeZ (Aug 26, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> Started the bench. Put players in different positions that they normally were not used to playing. Maybe he was trying to set an example that he does not care to win but to develop his players


Not that unusual at that age. It should not be so focused on winning at that age.  Develop and encourage them and let them enjoy the game. Every child on the team at that age deserves a chance to develop, grow and yes - start! 

As your dd gets older good coaches won’t take you and your dd and she will be relegated to C/D level - the future equivalent of flight 3 at your age group.  Think about it......

I remember a particular father at U9 who boisterously asked the coach during a parent meeting before a tournament “are we going to play to win or develop”!  The mother was no better, she carved out what she considered to be the “core team” for special events.  Their dd was the top scorer at U9 and highly stressed.  

4-5-6-7-8-9 years later ...... nowhere to be found, never DA, never ECNL, never DPL, and rumored at some point to be playing c level, nobody really cares. We know several of the players that mother excluded from her “core team” are now playing either DA, ECNL or DPL at 03 or 02/01.


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## LASTMAN14 (Aug 26, 2019)

JoeZ said:


> Not that unusual at that age. It should not be so focused on winning at that age.  Develop and encourage them and let them enjoy the game. Every child on the team at that age deserves a chance to develop, grow and yes - start!
> 
> As your dd gets older good coaches won’t take you and your dd and she will be relegated to C/D level - the future equivalent of flight 3 at your age group.  Think about it......
> 
> ...


I saw and watched very similar scenario for years) in regards to a team that was built to win by the coach. If I am correct all but two of those players are playing at a high level (DA and ECNL). And one is playing on US Youth NT at U15. However, her development did not come from the coach.


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## Mic Nificent (Aug 26, 2019)

Sounds you left a damn good coach. Wouldn’t mind my kid playing for a coach like that.


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## USMCie (Aug 26, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> Who knows you maybe right. As far as my DD this last game has got to be her worst game ever. She exited the field crying as it was her fault for giving up the goal by making a bad pass out the back. But I’m actually happy it happened. It’s an experience that she will grow from.



i wonder how the car ride home was and how many times he showed her the video of the bad pass....


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## Luis Andres (Aug 26, 2019)

USMCie said:


> i wonder how the car ride home was and how many times he showed her the video of the bad pass....


It went fine. I have not showed her any videos either. Just let her be for now. When the time is right we’ll go over film and discuss what her and her teammates can improve on. For now I have to decide with my wife what’s best for her development for the coming months.


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## JabroniBeater805 (Aug 26, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> It went fine. I have not showed her any videos either. Just let her be for now. When the time is right we’ll go over film and discuss what her and her teammates can improve on. For now I have to decide with my wife what’s best for her development for the coming months.


I thought Ole 2010 was the best team in So Cal? Two weeks later everything has changed and you’re contemplating her future? LOL


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## Chalklines (Aug 26, 2019)

@Luis Andres

Reviewing game film of what a child screwed up on at 8 years old is abuse. She already knows she made a mistake and the cryings your fault because you've put so much pressure on her to win.

Why not just tell your DD you love her because she tried her best and call it a day? 

Focus on how you can plan a swim or pizza party with the team instead of being a total jack hole. Take a deep breath and leave the coaching to the club since your paying for it! Just let the loss go.....


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## Luis Andres (Aug 26, 2019)

Over the weekend a very nice gentleman wrote me a very long message about his journey so far with his kids. This was probably the best eye opening story for me. He mentioned how he was caught up with winning tournaments as well too in the beginning but as his kids got older he mentioned that he realized that it’s more about doing what’s best for them to continue to progress with their development. Wether to have them play DA or play up a year or two or have his DD play with a boys team. it all depends on the specific team, coach and program and current situation. He mentioned all the little extras that he has done with them to get them to be top players within their age groups. Which I’m all for. So yes I have had a change of heart and I agree now with all of you that it’s not about winning tournaments at this young age level. It’s about doing what’s best for their development.

So we decided to stay with the current team because that is the best option as of now. Could I take my DD to the Eagles or Blues so we can make their teams stronger just so I can say look we won all these tournaments? Sure yes. But will she develop in the way that I want her as a soccer player given their style of soccer they teach is not what I’m looking for my DD? Probably not. I’m a big fan of possession soccer. And the current club is all about that style of soccer that I like for my DD to learn to play.

Take for example, my team. The Chilean national team. A team that may not have had all the super stars like the rest of the top national teams in the world but created a beautiful style of soccer that so many love to watch with a core of players who weren’t necessarily the best individual players around but they learned how to play as a team and they showed that they can play with the best teams in the world and compete with anyone. That’s more of what I like about the current club. The fact that we don’t have the biggest and most athletic girls on the team but we are able to compete with the top teams in the age group. That’s where I like my daughter to stay for now.


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## JabroniBeater805 (Aug 26, 2019)

So 30 minutes ago you were contemplating her future and now you’ve decided to stay with Ole. Nice!


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## Luis Andres (Aug 26, 2019)

JabroniBeater805 said:


> So 30 minutes ago you were contemplating her future and now you’ve decided to stay with Ole. Nice!


Yea I’ve been looking at all the options and that’s what I’ve decided to do.


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## SBGCDALife (Aug 26, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> Yea I’ve been looking at all the options and that’s what I’ve decided to do.


The best thing to do is move to the Blues next season, then Albion after that, then follow that season up with SD Surf.  Once you have established your daughter and made a great name for yourself with all those clubs the USWNT will surely be knocking  on your door.


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## Luis Andres (Aug 26, 2019)

SBGCDALife said:


> The best thing to do is move to the Blues next season, then Albion after that, then follow that season up with SD Surf.  Once you have established your daughter and made a great name for yourself with all those clubs the USWNT will surely be knocking  on your door.


May I ask why you think this specific route mentioned is best? Can you elaborate as to why Blues to Albion to SD Surf?


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## LASTMAN14 (Aug 26, 2019)

Mic Nificent said:


> Sounds you left a damn good coach. Wouldn’t mind my kid playing for a coach like that.


No affiliation to the team. I would not say the coach was good. Most of that team did not develop and have fallen off the soccer map.


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## Soccerfan2 (Aug 26, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> May I ask why you think this specific route mentioned is best? Can you elaborate as to why Blues to Albion to SD Surf?


It’s sarcasm. 

Whoever wrote you the long message was kind enough to share what they’ve learned with your (and DD’s) best interest in mind. You’re right to take that good advice. Another thing I would suggest is working future things out in private with a few trusted, knowledgeable people instead of in public. Unfortunately not everyone out there will want the best for you.


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## Luis Andres (Aug 26, 2019)

LASTMAN14 said:


> No affiliation to the team. I would not say the coach was good. Most of that team did not develop and have fallen off the soccer map.


Wait a minute how can you make such a claim to say that the team has not developed? Have you seen them play top teams lately? Have you seen how they control games and make the best teams resort to playing defense most of the game?


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## LASTMAN14 (Aug 26, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> Wait a minute how can you make such a claim to say that the team has not developed? Have you seen them play top teams lately? Have you seen how they control games and make the best teams resort to playing defense most of the game?


I’m talking about a team that longer exists. The coach recruited athletes. He did nothing to perpetuate their growth as players. The two that are still playing at a high level did not do so because of the coach. I know this because my daughter played against this team for years.


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## Fact (Aug 26, 2019)

Ok now I need a flow chart to follow this guy.  First he gets on here bashing a little girl because he does not feel she is good enough to play with his dd, making it very obvious what team his dd is on.  Then after people tell him he’s an ass for slamming a 8 year old on a public forum he tells us how amazing his dd is, that she is a 8 year old unicorn and that he is a martyr because he is the only one willing to help this little girl get better.  He claims to have learned and deletes his thread were it was very apparent that he is an asshat.

Then he tells us that everyone on the team hates him (the first believable thing he has said) and that he is banned from the team’s group chat.  Then after they don’t make the finals, he cries that the coach intentionally lost the game by starting the bench, that he is done with the team and the forum and tells Dom to delete all his posts.  And now he is back after 12 hours and is a changed man?  Give me an f’n break.

Either he is bipolar,  an addict, drama queen or just really stupid with all these flip flops.  My bet is on some of all four.

Like I said, have your wife take your dd to all practices and games or find an individual activity that you can control.  This last backpedaling is probably due to you realizing that the roster freeze started Aug 1 and thus your dd is stuck with this team and you need to kiss ass. You have not learned a thing here and it is not fair to the other families on the team to have to deal with your bull.


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## rainbow_unicorn (Aug 26, 2019)

Ok, I think it's time to ease off a bit on Luis Andres.  Judging from his post from the 2011's thread it sounds like he has listened and taken to heart the good advice offered on the forum:



Luis Andres said:


> I’ve left this thread because I have had a change of heart. Maybe in the really young ages it’s not about winning and trying to collect trophies. It’s about best developing your DD to get her ready to compete when she is older. Yes I admit it was about winning for me prior but haven written that post and seeing what all the veterans here have to say about winning at the young age level has made me rethink that it’s not really that important. The better question is your DD in the right team that will get her ready to compete after she turns 13 years old.


Kudos to Luis Andres for recognizing the fault in his original approach and for making making a pretty big pivot in the right direction.


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## JabroniBeater805 (Aug 26, 2019)

rainbow_unicorn said:


> Ok, I think it's time to ease off a bit on Luis Andres.  Judging from his post from the 2011's thread it sounds like he has listened and taken to heart the good advice offered on the forum:
> 
> 
> 
> Kudos to Luis Andres for recognizing the fault in his original approach and for making making a pretty big pivot in the right direction.


In the last 3 weeks he’s trashed every team in there while even pissing off parents at his own club with the stuff he was saying. He started this morning trashing his own coach claiming he intentionally lost a tournament this weekend. Don’t give him so much credit lol


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## The Outlaw *BANNED* (Aug 27, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> Wait a minute how can you make such a claim to say that the team has not developed? Have you seen them play top teams lately? Have you seen how they control games and make the best teams resort to playing defense most of the game?


It doesn't matter how they play at U9... because 2 years from now you'll be somewhere else and so will half that team.  Well, maybe not.  They may stay to avoid running into you at tryouts elsewhere.  Others here have probably forgotten they made some of the same mistakes you're making, Luis, myself included, but heed their advice anyway.  They know it's a marathon.

Your kid may suck in 2 years.  It happens.  And lots of badass 12-year olds no longer play at 14 because their dad was named "Luis".


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## Kicker4Life (Aug 27, 2019)

The Outlaw said:


> It doesn't matter how they play at U9... because 2 years from now you'll be somewhere else and so will half that team.  Well, maybe not.  They may stay to avoid running into you at tryouts elsewhere.  Others here have probably forgotten they made some of the same mistakes you're making, Luis, myself included, but heed their advice anyway.  They know it's a marathon.
> 
> Your kid may suck in 2 years.  It happens.  And lots of badass 12-year olds no longer play at 14 because their dad was named "Luis".


I don’t think anyone on this forum can say they haven’t been that parent at least once.  And you are 100% correct, we share our stories and advice based on such experiences and the ability to look back at our mistakes.


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## OCsoccerdad7777 (Aug 27, 2019)

rainbow_unicorn said:


> Ok, I think it's time to ease off a bit on Luis Andres.  Judging from his post from the 2011's thread it sounds like he has listened and taken to heart the good advice offered on the forum:
> 
> 
> 
> Kudos to Luis Andres for recognizing the fault in his original approach and for making making a pretty big pivot in the right direction.


Agree if that is the case and want to believe it. But something just tells me that he will.........just......say........one.....
.more..........thing to ruin it.


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## Grace T. (Aug 27, 2019)

Kicker4Life said:


> I don’t think anyone on this forum can say they haven’t been that parent at least once.  And you are 100% correct, we share our stories and advice based on such experiences and the ability to look back at our mistakes.


I'm particularly sympathetic with the reluctance to give up control since I really struggled with it.  Part of it was recognizing that my usefulness as a coach to my son had come to an end...he just wasn't going to learn any more from me.  But part of it was a distrust of the coaches both because their goals weren't aligned with mine (keeping their jobs v developing the particular player) and some of their technique was just wrong.  My son's first coach knew about the goalkeeper position but her information was old (she, for example, was teaching him on the grounders to pickup with the now discredited bended knee or to dive with the shoulder instead of the hands).  His second coach was amazing at the field stuff (particularly on offense) but his corrections in goal often amounted to ambiguous directions that weren't helpful like "fix it" or "don't let that in".

That's why I think the best advice given so far is to find a coach you like, or failing that a trainer that knows what they are doing, and let them coach. 

Or if you really must be the coach, well be the coach on an Extras or United Team that might not be as highly placed, but they (both coaches and parents, though YMMV) tend to be a little more focused on tournament wins and league standings than other organizations.  I hope he shares with us the experience with his AYSO team...he's had to have had his first practice by now.


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## OrangeCountyDad (Aug 27, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> I wouldn’t go as far as to say intentionally trying to lose a game but playing a game by starting your bench and mixing up the normal player positions in a critical game where you needed the win to advance to the final. Wether it’s trying to lose a game or experimenting in a pre season tournament or trying to prove a point. Not sure. That’s up to you to interpret.


I'm going off your interpretation:



Desert Hound said:


> Tell us how the coach changed the lineup last weekend that cost the tournament finals.





Luis Andres said:


> Started the bench. Put players in different positions that they normally were not used to playing. Maybe he wa*s trying to set an example that he does not care to win* but to develop his players



they're littles.  just let them play.


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## OrangeCountyDad (Aug 27, 2019)

SBGCDALife said:


> The best thing to do is move to the Blues next season, then Albion after that, then follow that season up with SD Surf.  Once you have established your daughter and made a great name for yourself with all those clubs the USWNT will surely be knocking  on your door.


if there's one thing people love is a club hopper.


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## Chalklines (Aug 27, 2019)

OrangeCountyDad said:


> if there's one thing people love is a club hopper.


But at this age you need to find the right fit. Coaches change, ass hole parental units like Luis show up and you need to due what's best for yours sometimes moving around can't be avoided.


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## foreveryoung (Aug 27, 2019)

The Outlaw said:


> It doesn't matter how they play at U9... because 2 years from now you'll be somewhere else and so will half that team.  Well, maybe not.  They may stay to avoid running into you at tryouts elsewhere.  Others here have probably forgotten they made some of the same mistakes you're making, Luis, myself included, but heed their advice anyway.  They know it's a marathon.
> 
> Your kid may suck in 2 years.  It happens.  And lots of badass 12-year olds no longer play at 14 because their dad was named "Luis".


Agree...


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## Grace T. (Aug 27, 2019)

Chalklines said:


> But at this age you need to find the right fit. Coaches change, ass hole parental units like Luis show up and you need to due what's best for yours sometimes moving around can't be avoided.


I agree with this.  It would be easier if coaches were honest and up front about what they were planning and expectations during tryouts, but they a) may not even know yet as early as tryouts since they are still feeling the team out, b) might just be concerned with fielding a team particularly if they are an indie club like the one in OP or the second/third tier of a larger club, or c) might be trying to recruit the player so will say anything.  My son's second year I got the big push about development and building from the back and I specifically told the coach one of the reasons we were moving was I wanted a place that built from the back and let my son take his goalkicks (I only have two redlines...that and allowing private training outside the club)...in virtually every tournament or big game the big legged defender was instructed to "send it"...and in virtually every tryout we went to we were told by coaches "yeah we build from the back" yet everywhere I go on a tournament field coaches are "sending it".  I'm not so sure it would have gone really great had Luis' coach sat down the parents and told them: look we are going to lose a bunch of tournaments and we probably won't win our bracket and don't be surprised if you see some of those more advanced kids not starting or sitting on the bench...if the player works hard, I intend to give every player playing time and I want to encourage my players to make mistakes out there and learn something from those mistakes even if it costs us games.  Sometimes you don't know until the August tournament season starts, and by then the roster freeze has kicked in and many of the clubs are full.


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## Messi>CR7 (Aug 28, 2019)

I can't piece together all the timeline since Luis deleted his postings, but to sum it up:
-Dominic "innocently" created a "Who is top 10" thread in the G2011 forum.
-As expected, the G2011 parents started debating which 7-year-old team is the best and throwing insults at each other.
-Poor Luis couldn't resist joining the conversations even though he is not even a G2011 parent.
-The Luis Andres character came fully alive on socalsoccer.com.
-Site traffic at socalsoccer.com went up by 400% as members hung up to Luis' every posting in anticipation of the inevitable and tragic end.

Nicely done, admin.


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## Poconos (Aug 28, 2019)

Messi>CR7 said:


> I can't piece together all the timeline since Luis deleted his postings, but to sum it up:
> -Dominic "innocently" created a "Who is top 10" thread in the G2011 forum.
> -As expected, the G2011 parents started debating which 7-year-old team is the best and throwing insults at each other.
> -Poor Luis couldn't resist joining the conversations even though he is not even a G2011 parent.
> ...


you forgot...

-postmortem done by person with too much idle time


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## Anon9 (Aug 28, 2019)

Are Luis Andres 15 minutes of fame over?
Or is he here to stay?


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## Luis Andres (Aug 28, 2019)

Anon9 said:


> Are Luis Andres 15 minutes of fame over?
> Or is he here to stay?


I think the 15 min of fame are over. But I’m here to stay and keep learning.


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## Anon9 (Aug 28, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> I think the 15 min of fame are over. But I’m here to stay and keep learning.


I agree. I stopped checking it every 5 minutes. We need the old Luis Andres back!


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## Luis Andres (Aug 28, 2019)

Anon9 said:


> I agree. I stopped checking it every 5 minutes. We need the old Luis Andres back!


I learned my lesson, never to talk about anyone else’s DD but my own. I learned that winning tournaments at young ages is not what’s important. What’s important is the development of my own DD. As far as what I do to train her. I’m still sticking to my guns on that. I’ve done a great job so far in making her a solid all around player. She’s fine for now where she is at, development wise. As long as she keeps growing every season and stays at a level that I feel she needs to be at, I’m happy.


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## Fact (Aug 29, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> As long as she ......... stays at a level that I feel she needs to be at, I’m happy.


Wow this says it all. This is not about your dd it is about you.  I really don’t care how you mess up your own kid but make sure you leave all the other families alone, there is a reason they kicked you off the team chat and don’t like you.


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## Surf Zombie (Aug 29, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> I learned my lesson, never to talk about anyone else’s DD but my own. I learned that winning tournaments at young ages is not what’s important. What’s important is the development of my own DD. As far as what I do to train her. I’m still sticking to my guns on that. I’ve done a great job so far in making her a solid all around player. She’s fine for now where she is at, development wise. As long as she keeps growing every season and stays at a level that I feel she needs to be at, I’m happy.


You forgot the single most important thing, which is “As long as SHE is happy, loves the game, and wants to continue playing.” 

But hey....


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## Luis Andres (Aug 29, 2019)

Surf Zombie said:


> You forgot the single most important thing, which is “As long as SHE is happy, loves the game, and wants to continue playing.”
> 
> But hey....


That’s a given. As long as she’s happy. I was referring to my expectations.


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## Grace T. (Aug 29, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> I was referring to my expectations.


You are still doing it: "my expectations", not hers.  Let me ask you this: why is it so important for you to have her become an elite player?  And yes...I know she has potential...in the video you shared she's a great soccer player for her age (again, though, tempered with she's 8).  You also said she was really great in math...why don't you have her in Kumon or Chinese Learning Center 5 days a week...or in cycling for that matter....why football?

Also how's the AYSO team going...you start practice?


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## redhood (Aug 29, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> I learned my lesson, never to talk about anyone else’s DD but my own. I learned that winning tournaments at young ages is not what’s important. What’s important is the development of my own DD. As far as what I do to train her. I’m still sticking to my guns on that. I’ve done a great job so far in making her a solid all around player. She’s fine for now where she is at, development wise. As long as she keeps growing every season and stays at a level that I feel she needs to be at, I’m happy.


Be yourself and don't change for these people! I know you're trying to be humble...stop it


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## Luis Andres (Aug 29, 2019)

Grace T. said:


> You are still doing it: "my expectations", not hers.  Let me ask you this: why is it so important for you to have her become an elite player?  And yes...I know she has potential...in the video you shared she's a great soccer player for her age (again, though, tempered with she's 8).  You also said she was really great in math...why don't you have her in Kumon or Chinese Learning Center 5 days a week...or in cycling for that matter....why football?
> 
> Also how's the AYSO team going...you start practice?


Great question. I guess it has to do with the fact that soccer has been my favorite team sport since I was a kid. And its part of my culture. Also she is my only child so I have all the time in the world to devote to her in a sport and my wife and I decided it would be soccer even though she is a runner. We also play basketball recreationally but not serious in trying to make her an elite basketball player because she will never have the height to compete at an elite level where soccer that is not a requirement.

The reason why it’s important for me to have her become an elite player is because I see the potential for greatness within her natural talents. And I’m setting her up technically to be at a level that when it comes time for her to do things on her own, she will have the proper skills set to do so and shine. At the end of the day it will be up to her to get to the next level not me. All I can do now is set her up in the right direction with the proper skills set.

As far as AYSO. Things are going good. She’s sort of like my assistant coach. My goal for AYSO is to teach her some leadership skills.


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## Chalklines (Aug 29, 2019)

Height/size isn't a requirement in soccer now?

I got some bad news for you Luis.


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## Grace T. (Aug 29, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> At the end of the day it will be up to her to get to the next level not me. .


But that's the kicker, isn't it? You'd want for her not only have the skills to get to the next level, but also the motivation.  If you overtrain her, and she is suffering injuries (which become much more frequent as girl's near puberty), she might not want to (because she doesn't feel good).  If you give her soccer all the time, even if she loves it, she might grow sick of it if she has to do it every day (hey I love pizza but I once went a week during the bar exam just eating pizza and I can tell you I hated pizza afterwards for a good year and still can't look at a Hawaiian pizza).  If you push her, she may rebel against it just to spite you when she hits the rebellious years, because YOU want it and that's how she can hurt you.  

We all want our children to hit their potential.  But ultimately things are their choice.  You not only want to foster her skills, but also her love of the game, and that means being careful not to give her too much of it.  You should also let her explore other options because just since you want her to do soccer doesn't mean she'll want to.

And if you really want to coach her and don't trust her coaches (with the disclaimer that for most people I don't think coaching their own kid is the best idea, YMMV), you might want to consider getting yourself a United coach slot and coaching herself (even though she'll be at a lower level team possibly, at least you won't be undermining what the coach is trying to teach).  BTW, what is your playing and coaching background?


----------



## Luis Andres (Aug 29, 2019)

Chalklines said:


> Height/size isn't a requirement in soccer now?
> 
> I got some bad news for you Luis.


Really? What’s the minimum height requirement?


----------



## Luis Andres (Aug 29, 2019)

Grace T. said:


> But that's the kicker, isn't it? You'd want for her not only have the skills to get to the next level, but also the motivation.  If you overtrain her, and she is suffering injuries (which become much more frequent as girl's near puberty), she might not want to (because she doesn't feel good).  If you give her soccer all the time, even if she loves it, she might grow sick of it if she has to do it every day (hey I love pizza but I once went a week during the bar exam just eating pizza and I can tell you I hated pizza afterwards for a good year and still can't look at a Hawaiian pizza).  If you push her, she may rebel against it just to spite you when she hits the rebellious years, because YOU want it and that's how she can hurt you.
> 
> We all want our children to hit their potential.  But ultimately things are their choice.  You not only want to foster her skills, but also her love of the game, and that means being careful not to give her too much of it.  You should also let her explore other options because just since you want her to do soccer doesn't mean she'll want to.
> 
> And if you really want to coach her and don't trust her coaches (with the disclaimer that for most people I don't think coaching their own kid is the best idea, YMMV), you might want to consider getting yourself a United coach slot and coaching herself (even though she'll be at a lower level team possibly, at least you won't be undermining what the coach is trying to teach).  BTW, what is your playing and coaching background?


No I totally understand you when it comes to the possibility of burning her out. I always ask her how she feels before and she’s the one that picks up the ball at home to challenge me to 1v1 games. So as long as she’s the one initiating to play soccer, I’m all for it. It’s not like we just do soccer all the time either. She has a life, she has play dates with her friends. She gets to play her favorite game Roblox with her friends and use her iPad too. In the beginning she was doing gymnastics and swimming but she decided to drop them to focus more on soccer. Her choice not mine.

Also I’m not trying to coach her and create a club team around her either. She has a private coach who is an ex pro player who trains her weekly. The AYSO thing for me is just fun and like I mention perfect for her to learn some leadership skills and show other little girls starting out how to play. To be honest I’ve played recreational soccer all my youth. Pickup games, park games, neighborhood games, never club. I’ve watched a lot of soccer and I’m knowledgeable as far as the sport. I have siblings and my Father worked a lot so he never had the time to train me like I’m doing with my daughter. I guess you can say I wish he had done the things with me that I’m now doing with my daughter.


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## Threeyardsback (Aug 29, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> Really? What’s the minimum height requirement?


Crystal Dunn is 5'1".   I would say that a 5'1" player has a better chance in soccer than basketball.


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## Luis Andres (Aug 29, 2019)

Threeyardsback said:


> Crystal Dunn is 5'1".   I would say that a 5'1" player has a better chance in soccer than basketball.


I don’t know where @Chalklines got this info from. I’m 5’10” and my wife is 5’6” so even if my daughter ends up being 5’5” or 5’6” she’ll be fine


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## myself (Aug 29, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> I don’t know where @Chalklines got this info from. I’m 5’10” and my wife is 5’6” so even if my daughter ends up being 5’5” or 5’6” she’ll be fine


It was an intentional misreading on the intent of your post so that he/she could  get under your skin and keep the conversation going.


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## Luis Andres (Aug 29, 2019)

myself said:


> It was an intentional misreading on the intent of your post so that he/she could  get under your skin and keep the conversation going.


the true example of trolling.


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## Luis Andres (Aug 29, 2019)

Here is a short clip of trainings and highlights when she was 7-8 years old playing u9. No pressure training, we just worked on building fundamentals and having fun in the process. Now if doing things like this outside of team practice goes against US soccer guidelines then I really don’t know what to say about US soccer. Maybe they have it all wrong


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## Grace T. (Aug 29, 2019)

That's Juke!!!  My son used to go there before he started private training as a keeper.  That and his coach his 2nd year were why he improved as a field player.  They've probably met in the camps.

Nothing wrong with private training.  The questions are whether the kid is being pressured, is getting some downtime, is enjoying it, and frequency.


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## Messi>CR7 (Aug 29, 2019)

If you want her to turn into a social media sensation, then go build and promote her own youtube channel.  If not, why would you continue to share so much details of your daughter with strangers from a public forum?  There are a lot of crazy people out there.

I think you're pretty naive when it comes to internet chat.  When someone brags about their elite 8 year old in soccer or academics, most of us have either or both of these reactions:  1) You're full of it, or 2) Who cares?  Just google "8 year old" and "next Messi", and you get hundreds of videos on youtube.

No one is truly interested in your elite athlete.  Most are just following because we can't take our eyes off a train wreck.


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## Luis Andres (Aug 29, 2019)

Messi>CR7 said:


> If you want her to turn into a social media sensation, then go build and promote her own youtube channel.  If not, why would you continue to share so much details of your daughter with strangers from a public forum?  There are a lot of crazy people out there.
> 
> I think you're pretty naive when it comes to internet chat.  When someone brags about their elite 8 year old in soccer or academics, most of us have either or both of these reactions:  1) You're full of it, or 2) Who cares?  Just google "8 year old" and "next Messi", and you get hundreds of videos on youtube.
> 
> No one is truly interested in your elite athlete.  Most are just following because we can't take our eyes off a train wreck.


No you’re prob right. I am a bit naive and new to these chats and that’s why I have the edit button. I was just trying to prove my point. I’ll pull it off if that’s better.


----------



## Supermodel56 (Aug 29, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> No you’re prob right. I am a bit naive and new to these chats and that’s why I have the edit button. I was just trying to prove my point. I’ll pull it off if that’s better.


No, comon’, don’t let Messi mess with you.  I wanna see... definitely interested/curious now!


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## Supermodel56 (Aug 29, 2019)

Actually, you know what’d be neat to see? If those parents railing on Luis posted videos of their kids kicking butt at U8 and how they’re playing today.... just to see how the game changes. I know you all have them and have been dying to break out those highlight videos...

Like I want to see what MAP’s kid looked like on the pitch as a U8, probably pretty fun to watch...


----------



## Emma (Aug 29, 2019)

Supermodel56 said:


> Actually, you know what’d be neat to see? If those parents railing on Luis posted videos of their kids kicking butt at U8 and how they’re playing today.... just to see how the game changes. I know you all have them and have been dying to break out those highlight videos...
> 
> Like I want to see what MAP’s kid looked like on the pitch as a U8, probably pretty fun to watch...


Highlight of my child at U8:
Watches 3 players surrounding a soccer ball for a slow 2 seconds
Runs at the ball and knocks it out of traffic
Makes a 320 degrees turn towards goal
Looks goalie straight in the eye
Goalie doesn't move an inch from the middle of the goal
My child kicks the ball straight to the goalie at a rate of 3 mph
Goalie gets both hands on the ball...but somehow magically lets it roll in between legs and into goal. 
We cheer loudly 
From that day on, we realize our child has limitless potential on the soccer field 

Sorry no video footage but my narrative is pretty close to video footage.


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## Luis Andres (Aug 29, 2019)

Supermodel56 said:


> Actually, you know what’d be neat to see? If those parents railing on Luis posted videos of their kids kicking butt at U8 and how they’re playing today.... just to see how the game changes. I know you all have them and have been dying to break out those highlight videos...
> 
> Like I want to see what MAP’s kid looked like on the pitch as a U8, probably pretty fun to watch...


Yes that would actually be pretty cool to
See.


----------



## LASTMAN14 (Aug 29, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> Yes that would actually be pretty cool to
> See.


I am willing to share. This is 4 year old footage from THE GOATS. It is a team assembled with parents who are regular posters on the forum. The girls are all club players from all over SoCal. There is zero coaching. The girls just play. As you can see when watching the play of the girls was controlled, they passed well, connected to one another, and moved well off the ball. You can also see many of the teams were much bigger than the girls on GOATS in most cases. Size did not influence the outcome. All with the exception of one of these girls is now going to play DA/ECNL.


----------



## redhood (Aug 29, 2019)

LASTMAN14 said:


> I am willing to share. This is 4 year old footage from THE GOATS. It is a team assembled with parents who are regular posters on the forum. The girls are all club players from all over SoCal. There is zero coaching. The girls just play. As you can see when watching the play of the girls was controlled, they passed well, connected to one another, and moved well off the ball. You can also see many of the teams were much bigger than the girls on GOATS in most cases. Size did not influence the outcome. All with the exception of one of these girls is now going to play DA/ECNL.


Which 1?


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## LASTMAN14 (Aug 29, 2019)

redhood said:


> Which 1?


Team in white.


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## redhood (Aug 29, 2019)

LASTMAN14 said:


> Team in white.


I meant which one is the one that isn't playing DA/ECNL? Just curious to see if they stand out in the video at all and prove the thought that best U8 players aren't always the best once they're older


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## Kicker4Life (Aug 29, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> 1) soccer has been *my* favorite team sport since I was a kid.
> 
> 2) its part of *my* culture.
> 
> ...


Something to consider in this processs.....


----------



## Fact (Aug 29, 2019)

Kicker4Life said:


> Something to consider in this processs.....


I am running late to a meeting but just had to say thanks!

Great point made with examples but he still wont get it.  Not that I care, fun to watch a train wreck as long as he does not involve other families bs.


----------



## LASTMAN14 (Aug 29, 2019)

redhood said:


> I meant which one is the one that isn't playing DA/ECNL? Just curious to see if they stand out in the video at all and prove the thought that best U8 players aren't always the best once they're older


It does not really matter.


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## Luis Andres (Aug 29, 2019)

LASTMAN14 said:


> I am willing to share. This is 4 year old footage from THE GOATS. It is a team assembled with parents who are regular posters on the forum. The girls are all club players from all over SoCal. There is zero coaching. The girls just play. As you can see when watching the play of the girls was controlled, they passed well, connected to one another, and moved well off the ball. You can also see many of the teams were much bigger than the girls on GOATS in most cases. Size did not influence the outcome. All with the exception of one of these girls is now going to play DA/ECNL.



Where is #24 these days. She looked promising back then. Good team. Can see what you mean.


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## redhood (Aug 29, 2019)

LASTMAN14 said:


> It does not really matter.


None of it really matters, does it?


----------



## Tim Powell (Aug 29, 2019)

LASTMAN14 said:


> I am willing to share. This is 4 year old footage from THE GOATS. It is a team assembled with parents who are regular posters on the forum. The girls are all club players from all over SoCal. There is zero coaching. The girls just play. As you can see when watching the play of the girls was controlled, they passed well, connected to one another, and moved well off the ball. You can also see many of the teams were much bigger than the girls on GOATS in most cases. Size did not influence the outcome. All with the exception of one of these girls is now going to play DA/ECNL.


For those interested in following, a 2009 version of Goats FC is playing in Blues Cup this weekend.


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## Luis Andres (Aug 29, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> Where is #24 these days. She looked promising back then. Good team. Can see what you mean.


@LASTMAN14 no worries, no need to get into details. But I was just trying to point out my observation. For me #24 was the unicorn of that pack. That’s it. Just by looking at the way she moves and her IQ and her movement off the ball. Reminds me a bit of my DD. That’s why I was curious. I hope she is not the exception not playing DA/ECNL therefore I would be so way off lol. But I’ve heard that the best players usually play in the central positions in 7v7.


----------



## Grace T. (Aug 29, 2019)

redhood said:


> Which 1?





LASTMAN14 said:


> . All with the exception of one of these girls is now going to play DA/ECNL.


Are the keepers still keeping?  Just curious.  The Goats' keeper didn't have a lot to do...and none of the keepers really knew what they were doing (though its apparent the Blues keeper had some training), but that's also expected for 8-9 year olds.  My son's trainer wouldn't take him on until he was 9.  Awesome effort by all the keepers, though, given their age range.

p.s. the song is sooooooo cute.


----------



## LASTMAN14 (Aug 29, 2019)

Tim Powell said:


> For those interested in following, a 2009 version of Goats FC is playing in Blues Cup this weekend.


Yes, I know the individual heading them up and a few of the players.


----------



## Supermodel56 (Aug 29, 2019)

Tim Powell said:


> For those interested in following, a 2009 version of Goats FC is playing in Blues Cup this weekend.


Would love to to check them out!  what team are they under/age group and flight?


----------



## LASTMAN14 (Aug 29, 2019)

Grace T. said:


> Are the keepers still keeping?  Just curious.  The Goats' keeper didn't have a lot to do...and none of the keepers really knew what they were doing (though its apparent the Blues keeper had some training), but that's also expected for 8-9 year olds.  My son's trainer wouldn't take him on until he was 9.  Awesome effort by all the keepers, though, given their age range.
> 
> p.s. the song is sooooooo cute.


The keeper is one of the best in her age group. That’s Tech’s kid.


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## LASTMAN14 (Aug 29, 2019)

Supermodel56 said:


> Would love to to check them out!  what team are they under/age group and flight?


U9 and I think flight 1. And, the team is Goats.


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## Luis Andres (Aug 29, 2019)

Here is a video of Olivia Moultrie #10 playing U9 for the Blues. Just to give everyone a perspective of what a unicorn may look like at this age level. 



Hope KC don’t mind me sharing this video but I truly admire this young girl’s work ethic and talent given the chance I got to meet her and talk to her a little bit when her younger sister played with our team.


----------



## ToonArmy (Aug 29, 2019)

LASTMAN14 said:


> I am willing to share. This is 4 year old footage from THE GOATS. It is a team assembled with parents who are regular posters on the forum. The girls are all club players from all over SoCal. There is zero coaching. The girls just play. As you can see when watching the play of the girls was controlled, they passed well, connected to one another, and moved well off the ball. You can also see many of the teams were much bigger than the girls on GOATS in most cases. Size did not influence the outcome. All with the exception of one of these girls is now going to play DA/ECNL.


Very cool no coaching. What about Newport Mesa was it coach TD yelling and screaming making the girls cry? Swallows Cup that's Capo FC's tourney right?


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## LASTMAN14 (Aug 29, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> @LASTMAN14 no worries, no need to get into details. But I was just trying to point out my observation. For me #24 was the unicorn of that pack. That’s it. Just by looking at the way she moves and her IQ and her movement off the ball. Reminds me a bit of my DD. That’s why I was curious. I hope she is not the exception not playing DA/ECNL therefore I would be so way off lol. But I’ve heard that the best players usually play in the central positions in 7v7.


She is playing DA. I would not say she was a unicorn or any of the others at that time. The key element that made any player shine on that group was how they played the game, which was playing the ball on the carpet and connecting passes.


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## LASTMAN14 (Aug 29, 2019)

ToonArmy said:


> Very cool no coaching. What about Newport Mesa was it coach TD yelling and screaming making the girls cry? Swallows Cup that's Capo FC's tourney right?


I can't remember who was coaching them or who hosted the tourney. It was held a J-Sierra HS.

Forgot to add. We had a coach but did not infer with the game the girls were playing, it was their game. Just subbing. He would then speak to them at half time about how they were feeling, is anyone tired, etc. That's it.


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## LASTMAN14 (Aug 29, 2019)

redhood said:


> None of it really matters, does it?


Not sure what matters to you, but playing the right way, improving, and being challenged does matter. But wanting to play and liking to play for oneself matter most.


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## Multi Sport (Aug 29, 2019)

So at what age do you think you can accurately predict a lid will be a successful collegiate player. What level of play should they be at in their early years?


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## Tim Powell (Aug 29, 2019)

Supermodel56 said:


> Would love to to check them out!  what team are they under/age group and flight?


U11/2009 Group D is the one I know of - top flight (Lime). Could be more: http://scbluescup.com/schedulescores.html


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## Grace T. (Aug 29, 2019)

Multi Sport said:


> So at what age do you think you can accurately predict a lid will be a successful collegiate player. What level of play should they be at in their early years?


Never, because you never know what might take them out.  Our minister's kid earned a scholarship to a college with a top level baseball team as a pitcher....he missed his senior year of high school due to a shoulder injury, had a long road to recovery after surgeries, got game ready, and then in the first game he played for his college team he had an ADHD meltdown which was truly heartbreaking to watch.  He dropped out and is bumming around Oregon now.

Even among child prodigies in other fields (whether acting, academics, music or sports) only between 10% and 1/3 will be successful in the field as an adult, with the percentage varying on the field and how you define what is in fact a unicorn.


----------



## The Outlaw *BANNED* (Aug 29, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> I learned my lesson, never to talk about anyone else’s DD but my own. I learned that winning tournaments at young ages is not what’s important. What’s important is the development of my own DD. As far as what I do to train her. I’m still sticking to my guns on that. I’ve done a great job so far in making her a solid all around player. She’s fine for now where she is at, development wise. As long as she keeps growing every season and stays at a level that I feel she needs to be at, I’m happy.


Isn't she 8?


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## Luis Andres (Aug 29, 2019)

The Outlaw said:


> Isn't she 8?


She turned 9 not long ago. She’s a 2010.


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## The Outlaw *BANNED* (Aug 29, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> I don’t know where @Chalklines got this info from. I’m 5’10” and my wife is 5’6” so even if my daughter ends up being 5’5” or 5’6” she’ll be fine


You're 5' 10".  Do you have a special room, with vaulted ceilings, for your ego?


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## mlx (Aug 29, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> ... She exited the field crying as it was her fault for giving up the goal by making a bad pass out the back...


 Karma is a bitch, right?


----------



## Multi Sport (Aug 29, 2019)

Grace T. said:


> Never, because you never know what might take them out.  Our minister's kid earned a scholarship to a college with a top level baseball team as a pitcher....he missed his senior year of high school due to a shoulder injury, had a long road to recovery after surgeries, got game ready, and then in the first game he played for his college team he had an ADHD meltdown which was truly heartbreaking to watch.  He dropped out and is bumming around Oregon now.
> 
> Even among child prodigies in other fields (whether acting, academics, music or sports) only between 10% and 1/3 will be successful in the field as an adult, with the percentage varying on the field and how you define what is in fact a unicorn.


I agree but a lot of people( more like parents) will say their kid is the exception...


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## Kicker4Life (Aug 29, 2019)

The Outlaw said:


> You're 5' 10".  Do you have a special room, with vaulted ceilings, for your ego?


It is unfortunate, but the reality is, he is projecting his dreams upon his DD.  She may survive this with drive and passion if he is able to allow her to play and grow without too much pressure. I do believe his heart is in the right place but the sooner he grasps the concept that this is her journey and not his, the better his relationship with his DD will be as she enters the dreaded puberty years.


----------



## Luis Andres (Aug 29, 2019)

Kicker4Life said:


> It is unfortunate, but the reality is, he is projecting his dreams upon his DD.  She may survive this with drive and passion if he is able to allow her to play and grow without too much pressure. I do believe his heart is in the right place but the sooner he grasps the concept that this is her journey and not his, the better his relationship with his DD will be as she enters the dreaded puberty years.


Her journey? She is getting ready to play her second season of club soccer u10. Her journey will begin when she turns 13 and decides on her own if she’s willing to do all the little extra things that it takes to get to the next level. Right now what I’m doing is being a Dad, that’s setting up his child to win later. By instilling the proper values and beliefs within her that will help her persevere when she is on her own making her own decisions for her future. There is nothing wrong in me setting her up to win later as long as she enjoys the process. I’m just conditioning her for success in the future. Wether she decides to continue or quit, it’s on her. The secrete to being successful in anything you want to accomplish in life lies in the act of falling in love with the process of getting there. If you can do that, you’re way ahead of the pack. Because the minute the process becomes just work without love, you will probably not get there. Success = Your ability to recognize what you need to do and when you need to do it. The culmination and accomplishments your daily successes becomes the process. That’s what I’m teaching her.


----------



## Fact (Aug 29, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> Her journey? She is getting ready to play her second season of club soccer u10. Her journey will begin when she turns 13 and decides on her own if she’s willing to do all the little extra things that it takes to get to the next level. Right now what I’m doing is being a Dad, that’s setting up his child to win later. By instilling the proper values and beliefs within her that will help her persevere when she is on her own making her own decisions for her future. There is nothing wrong in me setting her up to win later as long as she enjoys the process. I’m just conditioning her for success in the future. Wether she decides to continue or quit, it’s on her. The secrete to being successful in anything you want to accomplish in life lies in the act of falling in love with the process of getting there. If you can do that, you’re way ahead of the pack. Because the minute the process becomes just work without love, you will probably not get there. Success = Your ability to recognize what you need to do and when you need to do it. The culmination and accomplishments your daily successes becomes the process. That’s what I’m teaching her.


Unbelievable...and some of you thought he actually learned something and was willing to change. Lol


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## Fact (Aug 29, 2019)

Since you rated my post let me tell you what a complete d bag u r.  I saw your posting where you say that you “conditioned” your dd to like to train.  Karma is a bitch and I hope someone has the balls to tell her all about you and how you berated little girls on the internet in a few years.


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## Chalklines (Aug 29, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> Her journey? She is getting ready to play her second season of club soccer u10. Her journey will begin when she turns 13 and decides on her own if she’s willing to do all the little extra things that it takes to get to the next level. Right now what I’m doing is being a Dad, that’s setting up his child to win later. By instilling the proper values and beliefs within her that will help her persevere when she is on her own making her own decisions for her future. There is nothing wrong in me setting her up to win later as long as she enjoys the process. I’m just conditioning her for success in the future. Wether she decides to continue or quit, it’s on her. The secrete to being successful in anything you want to accomplish in life lies in the act of falling in love with the process of getting there. If you can do that, you’re way ahead of the pack. Because the minute the process becomes just work without love, you will probably not get there. Success = Your ability to recognize what you need to do and when you need to do it. The culmination and accomplishments your daily successes becomes the process. That’s what I’m teaching her.


Luis but in your other thread you said your daughter already had a soccer career but now her journey starts at 13?


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## Kicker4Life (Aug 29, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> Her journey? She is getting ready to play her second season of club soccer u10. Her journey will begin when she turns 13 and decides on her own if she’s willing to do all the little extra things that it takes to get to the next level. Right now what I’m doing is being a Dad, that’s setting up his child to win later. By instilling the proper values and beliefs within her that will help her persevere when she is on her own making her own decisions for her future. There is nothing wrong in me setting her up to win later as long as she enjoys the process. I’m just conditioning her for success in the future. Wether she decides to continue or quit, it’s on her. The secrete to being successful in anything you want to accomplish in life lies in the act of falling in love with the process of getting there. If you can do that, you’re way ahead of the pack. Because the minute the process becomes just work without love, you will probably not get there. Success = Your ability to recognize what you need to do and when you need to do it. The culmination and accomplishments your daily successes becomes the process. That’s what I’m teaching her.


I just hope you truly believe that and express it in your interactions with her.  Because your words and what you have said on this forum do NOT support what you’ve said above. 

I wish you and her the best.


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## Luis Andres (Aug 29, 2019)

Fact said:


> Unbelievable...and some of you thought he actually learned something and was willing to change. Lol





Chalklines said:


> Luis but in your other thread you said your daughter already had a soccer career but now her journey starts at 13?


lol. Soccer career, All I said was that she had a goal. And that can change in a few years. But if she has the right values and beliefs and if she is able to find her why by that time, she’ll be on her way to accomplish anything she wants to do in life. I’m not here telling you guys how to raise your kids and what values and beliefs they should have.


----------



## Luis Andres (Aug 29, 2019)

Kicker4Life said:


> I just hope you truly believe that and express it in your interactions with her.  Because your words and what you have said on this forum do NOT support what you’ve said above.
> 
> I wish you and her the best.


I’ll never force her to do anything she does not want. What I do is encourage her and explain to her why it’s important for her to do what she needs to do and when she needs to do it to get ahead in life.


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## Chalklines (Aug 29, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> lol. Soccer career, All I said was that she had a goal. And that can change in a few years. But if she has the right values and beliefs and if she is able to find her why by that time, she’ll be on her way to accomplish anything she wants to do in life. I’m not here telling you guys how to raise your kids and what values and beliefs they should have.


Nope. You said "short career". Then went platinum and deleted the thread. We all remember.


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## Fact (Aug 29, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> lol. Soccer career, All I said was that she had a goal. And that can change in a few years. But if she has the right values and beliefs and if she is able to find her why by that time, she’ll be on her way to accomplish anything she wants to do in life. I’m not here telling you guys how to raise your kids and what values and beliefs they should have.


Like I said I don’t give a f@& what u do to your kid.  But when you get on a public forum and talk shit about an 8 year old girl because you don’t feel that she is good enough to play with your dd, that is where I draw the line you pathetic scumbag.  Other posters are saying to give u a break and that u r learning.  But based on your last couple of posts you don’t give a shit about learning to do what is best for the kids.

You should be banned from this forum for talking shit about little girls that everyone know is on your OLe team and you should be banned from all soccer fields entirely FOREVER.  The welfare of children should be considered, who knows what you are liable to do next.


----------



## Luis Andres (Aug 29, 2019)

Fact said:


> Like I said I don’t give a f@& what u do to your kid.  But when you get on a public forum and talk shit about an 8 year old girl because you don’t feel that she is good enough to play with your dd, that is where I draw the line you pathetic scumbag.  Other posters are saying to give u a break and that u r learning.  But based on your last couple of posts you don’t give a shit about learning to do what is best for the kids.
> 
> You should be banned from this forum for talking shit about little girls that everyone know is on your OLe team and you should be banned from all soccer fields entirely FOREVER.  The welfare of children should be considered, who knows what you are liable to do next.


Dude get over it. You keep going back to the same thing. We are talking about my DD right now. Last person I would listen to is you or the other idiot when it comes to my daughter and her soccer. I have a different view about winning and tournaments at a young age and that’s it. The way I raise my child is on me. Everyone else has the right to do the same with theirs. So keep your comments to yourself. Don’t worry about my DD. So far so good. She’s learning fast and enjoying the process.


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## Fact (Aug 29, 2019)

Loser, does the director of Ole know that you were bashing an 8 year old little girl on the forum?

Does your dd’s Coach know that you blamed him for intentionally losing the game?

Screen shots are great to hold people accountable.


----------



## Fact (Aug 29, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> Dude get over it. You keep going back to the same thing. We are talking about my DD right now. Last person I would listen to is you or the other idiot when it comes to my daughter and her soccer. I have a different view about winning and tournaments at a young age and that’s it. The way I raise my child is on me. Everyone else has the right to do the same with theirs. So keep your comments to yourself. Don’t worry about my DD. So far so good. She’s learning fast and enjoying the process.


You are a f$&@ing Moron. I  said that I don’t care what you do with your dd.  But you have no right to rip children that are not yours.  Are you too stupid to understand that?  Because I can help you out by reporting you?


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## Luis Andres (Aug 29, 2019)

Fact said:


> Loser, does the director of Ole know that you were bashing an 8 year old little girl on the forum?
> 
> Does your dd’s Coach know that you blamed him for intentionally losing the game?
> 
> Screen shots are great to hold people accountable.


@Fact hey get your facts straight. We didn’t lose the game, we tied. and did not make it to the finals. Wether he was playing the game for development  or to prove a point, it’s a matter of Interpretation. I was never bashing on the little girl, I was just trying to get opinions on how someone else may have handled the situation. And a possible solution to help her.


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## Luis Andres (Aug 29, 2019)

@Fact @Chalklines Dumb and Dumber. Is what you too are


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## Supermodel56 (Aug 29, 2019)

Kicker4Life said:


> It is unfortunate, but the reality is, he is projecting his dreams upon his DD.  She may survive this with drive and passion if he is able to allow her to play and grow without too much pressure. I do believe his heart is in the right place but the sooner he grasps the concept that this is her journey and not his, the better his relationship with his DD will be as she enters the dreaded puberty years.


Wow, what are you, a shrink?!


----------



## Fact (Aug 29, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> @Fact hey get your facts straight. We didn’t lose the game, we tied. and did not make it to the finals. Wether he was playing the game for development  or to prove a point, it’s a matter of Interpretation. I was never bashing on the little girl, I was just trying to get opinions on how someone else may have handled the situation. And a possible solution to help her.


Excuse me, you are correct that u tied and this did not make the finals.  But I said behind everything else that I have said. You bashed the girl, period!


----------



## Fact (Aug 29, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> @Fact @Chalklines Dumb and Dumber. Is what you too are


You are a pathetic loser that is living vicariously thru your kid and no other child is good enough to play with your prince. Obviously you have not accomplished anything in your life to be proud of.  I am done with you.  Karma is a bitch!


----------



## Luis Andres (Aug 29, 2019)

Fact said:


> You are a pathetic loser that is living vicariously thru your kid and no other child is good enough to play with your prince. Obviously you have not accomplished anything in your life to be proud of.  I am done with you.  Karma is a bitch!


Please leave this thread. You seem to be the cancer of it anyway. Get lost


----------



## Supermodel56 (Aug 29, 2019)

Fact said:


> Excuse me, you are correct that u tied and this did not make the finals.  But I said behind everything else that I have said. You bashed the girl, period!


No he didn’t, he just said that this girl consistently made mistakes, cost them games, and asked for advice on what he could do to help the situation. I don’t recall him ever bashing the kid. That’s made up by you guys. 

Stating that the kid gave up goals and cost them the game is either true or false... it happens. It’s either fact or fiction. He acknowledged his own kid cost them a game just now... also a fact, not a judgement and not knocking his kid.  

Reality is, we’ve all had kids like that on our teams... it’s the coaches job to deal with it, not ours. He gets it now - hopefully.


----------



## Kicker4Life (Aug 29, 2019)

Supermodel56 said:


> Wow, what are you, a shrink?!


No but I may or may not have spent time with one or two (LOL)


----------



## Fact (Aug 29, 2019)

You can look at my post #90 for this quote from you “Thanks guys, not sure what happened today but the coach deliberately made some changes in the lineups to not advance to the finals. Done with this team. Done with this thread... @Dominic please delete my account. Thanks”. 

And you did bash the girl by saying that she should not play and not be on the team. Only after people started to defend her did you turn and say that you were trying to help her.  =Bashing a kid!


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## Fact (Aug 29, 2019)

Supermodel56 said:


> No he didn’t, he just said that this girl consistently made mistakes, cost them games, and asked for advice on what he could do to help the situation. I don’t recall him ever bashing the kid. That’s made up by you guys.
> 
> Stating that the kid gave up goals and cost them the game is either true or false... it happens. It’s either fact or fiction. He acknowledged his own kid cost them a game just now... also a fact, not a judgement and not knocking his kid.
> 
> Reality is, we’ve all had kids like that on our teams... it’s the coaches job to deal with it, not ours. He gets it now - hopefully.


Cost them games?   Isn’t Soccer a team sport and how is that not bashing a child?  Goodnight.


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## Luis Andres (Aug 29, 2019)

Fact said:


> You can look at my post #90 for this quote from you “Thanks guys, not sure what happened today but the coach deliberately made some changes in the lineups to not advance to the finals. Done with this team. Done with this thread... @Dominic please delete my account. Thanks”.
> 
> And you did bash the girl by saying that she should not play and not be on the team. Only after people started to defend her did you turn and say that you were trying to help her.  =Bashing a kid!


That was my opinion and then I left it for interpretation based on the fact that there were line up changes to his usual ways. He didn’t deliberately try to lose the game just played a different game. And it was after that then O l realized that it’s more about development than winning games. And I mentioned I had a change of heart on that subject. That experience and listening to you guys is what made me rethink it again. But who cares. That’s the past we were talking about the development of my DD and the way I’m raising her. Stick to the subject @Fact in fact you said you were done right? Leaving the thread


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## Supermodel56 (Aug 29, 2019)

Fact said:


> Cost them games?   Isn’t Soccer a team sport and how is that not bashing a child?  Goodnight.


Well, it happens. Here’s an example, in U9. when my kid was playing defense, prior to the game, I specifically reminded her to watch the back post because I knew she liked to go help out on defense. What did she do? she went in to help in the middle instead of watching the back post and marking the outside wing, they passed it out wide and the other team scored... She did it twice and cost them the game. Not bashing my kid, just fact.

Yes, soccer is a team sport, but she didn’t do her job in that game.


----------



## The Outlaw *BANNED* (Aug 29, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> lol. Soccer career, All I said was that she had a goal. And that can change in a few years. But if she has the right values and beliefs and if she is able to find her why by that time, she’ll be on her way to accomplish anything she wants to do in life. I’m not here telling you guys how to raise your kids and what values and beliefs they should have.


From our vantage point, YOU have a goal.  I'm not aware of any 9-year old asking to watch film.


----------



## Grace T. (Aug 29, 2019)

Supermodel56 said:


> Well, it happens. Here’s an example, in U9. when my kid was playing defense, prior to the game, I specifically reminded her to watch the back post because I knew she liked to go help out on defense. What did she do? she went in to help in the middle instead of watching the back post and marking the outside wing, they passed it out wide and the other team scored... She did it twice and cost them the game. Not bashing my kid, just fact.
> 
> Yes, soccer is a team sport, but she didn’t do her job in that game.


Presumably you were the coach of the team and could therefore would presume to tell your kid where they should position themselves on defense?  Supposedly the keeper (whose job it usually is to watch the far post) was out of position and didn't know how to defend the cut back cross?  I guess the defender who was picking up the passing player just let the passing player execute that pass into a dangerous area?  And the midfielders and forwards did their job to prevent it from getting into the attacking third?  Or maybe they are 8 and supposed to make mistakes because that's how they learn?

When my son was U10 playing keeper it was the final game of a tournament for the team to advance into the finals or not.  He had been playing for just the spring season as a full time keeper (despite our stated preference to the coaches that he should be splitting and getting field time), had not yet started with his private trainer because he wasn't old enough, and had been relying on the club trainers for training (a position which had a lot of turnover and some of which weren't very good).  He had been told repeatedly never let it bounce in the area...to basket catch it (he also didn't have a baseball background...his other sports were long distance running and martial arts) but had never seen it in a game situation.  The score is tied (with 2 own goals from our own team) and an attacking player wallops it high into the air several feet in an arc towards goal.  He waits for it to bounce hoping to grab it then but it bounces on the ground, shoots over his head too high for him to jump for it and into the goal.  His coach (and I...I was a crazy first year parent too) were both screaming at him "don't let it bounce".  We lose the game, and afterwards the coach takes him aside and goes into him for making a mistake he had been repeatedly told not to.  The 2 players who got own goals weren't screamed at.  Neither was the player who was supposed to be covering the attacker who made that wild crazy reckless shot.  Neither was our forward who lost the ball making the play possible.  One's thing for sure...my son never made that mistake again....he's had that hail mary ball happen now 3 times and has never let it bounce since.  But he was also scapegoated and made to feel horrible when several other players made mistakes along the way.

Soccer is ultimately a game of mistakes.  The team that makes the fewest wins. It's why I think the game irritates some Americans, who want the hero that goes out there to score...waiting for a mistake seems to be too negative for some Americans.  Kids are going to make mistakes as they learn to play, and a goal is very rarely the result of the mistake of just one player, though some mistakes are more boneheaded than others.  The perfect soccer game is actually one that ends 0-0 with both sides giving it their best efforts, yet failing to score.


----------



## Own Goal (Aug 29, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> Great question. I guess it has to do with the fact that soccer has been my favorite team sport since I was a kid. And its part of my culture. Also she is my only child so I have all the time in the world to devote to her in a sport and my wife and I decided it would be soccer even though she is a runner. We also play basketball recreationally but not serious in trying to make her an elite basketball player because she will never have the height to compete at an elite level where soccer that is not a requirement.
> 
> The reason why it’s important for me to have her become an elite player is because I see the potential for greatness within her natural talents. And I’m setting her up technically to be at a level that when it comes time for her to do things on her own, she will have the proper skills set to do so and shine. At the end of the day it will be up to her to get to the next level not me. All I can do now is set her up in the right direction with the proper skills set.
> 
> As far as AYSO. Things are going good. She’s sort of like my assistant coach. My goal for AYSO is to teach her some leadership skills.


A good runner you say? Let’s hope for your sake and your dreams that she doesn’t try cross country and/or track and find out she can run varsity times as a freshman - you wouldn’t want any distractions on her path to becoming an elite player. 

I know it’s been said, but slow down and enjoy the ride. Your daughter is 9. If you keep going at this frantic pace you will both be burned out by the time she’s 14 or 15. When my daughter was that age her and her teammates’ priority was who was going to host the American Doll party in their hotel room during State Cup.


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## Supermodel56 (Aug 30, 2019)

The Outlaw said:


> From our vantage point, YOU have a goal.  I'm not aware of any 9-year old asking to watch film.


Good grief, give it a rest... nothing wrong with teaching your kid to study the game. I started showing video to my kid when she was in rec at U5. I just showed her highlights of good plays she did, she loved seeing her goals, great passes, etc...it was a huge encouragement to her. you all assume it’s for bad stuff, but it wasn’t. 

Around U8, while we scrolled through, she’d start seeing plays she could’ve done better and sometimes groan. I’d encourage her and just ask her If she were to do it again what would she have done differently and we’d talk about it.  Do we do it after every game? No. Do I make her do it? No. She usually looks forward to it though and it has become a part of her regular training habit - just like she would for a math test, you celebrate the problems she got right, take a look at what she got wrong and figure out how to do even better next time. She’s awesome at math and she loves it, btw. She loves learning, looks forward to school and homework and she looks forward to soccer... 

We all talk about the benefits of sports because it’s an analogy to life, but then say sports should all be about just having fun in a carefree way and they’ll just one day stumble into success. But thats not life from my experience and having fun is very subjective to what you find is fun.... Teach your kids to find learning, problem solving, and challenging themselves fun. Teach your kids to find value in and appreciate feedback, to not take criticism personally, but see it as an opportunity and a gift.  Nobody is perfect and they’ll always make mistakes - it’s ok to make mistakes. But not knowing how to identify the root causes of their mistakes or how to fix them is why kids get discouraged and eventually give up.  if you give them tools and show them they can figure out how to solve their own “problems”, it can be extremely empowering. They accept that they will make mistakes but they also develop confidence that they can overcome them and it’s no longer a big deal - they learn to face their mistakes and weaknesses head on without fear of feeling inadequate, unloved, etc...


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## OrangeCountyDad (Aug 30, 2019)

when my kid was 11-12 she wanted to play professionally. It was the only thing she talked about.  she's 16 now, plays club/high school, has no interest in playing professionally.  not sure she even wants to play in college.  

just something to consider for your 9 year old.


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## Emma (Aug 30, 2019)

The Outlaw said:


> From our vantage point, YOU have a goal.  I'm not aware of any 9-year old asking to watch film.


Kids we knew at U9 loved watching themselves.  My children and their teammates always begged to be recorded and watched themselves.  They just didn't like it when adults said negative things about their plays.  Surprisingly, they were actually very critical of each other (and complimentary) but they didn't get upset when teammates provided feedback.  On the other hand, parents that made too many criticisms got looks.  If you stick to the compliments, they'll beg to watch it with you until you need a case of beer.


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## justified (Aug 30, 2019)

Supermodel56 said:


> Well, it happens. Here’s an example, in U9. when my kid was playing defense, prior to the game, I specifically reminded her to watch the back post because I knew she liked to go help out on defense. What did she do? she went in to help in the middle instead of watching the back post and marking the outside wing, they passed it out wide and the other team scored... She did it twice and cost them the game. Not bashing my kid, just fact.
> 
> Yes, soccer is a team sport, but she didn’t do her job in that game.


8 year olds don't know what "watch the back post" means.


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## Chalklines (Aug 30, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> @Fact @Chalklines Dumb and Dumber. Is what you *too* are


And im the dumb one.

Good thing your platinum to save even more embarrassment


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## Supermodel56 (Aug 30, 2019)

OrangeCountyDad said:


> when my kid was 11-12 she wanted to play professionally. It was the only thing she talked about.  she's 16 now, plays club/high school, has no interest in playing professionally.  not sure she even wants to play in college.
> 
> just something to consider for your 9 year old.


Your kid and almost every other... No surprise on not wanting to play professionally and hey, if she’s got a plan for something she’s passionate about, great for her!  

Totally agree about not burning your kid out, but I don’t see anything wrong with helping your kid pursue their dream whatever it is and teaching them early on what it takes. Hopefully she’ll apply that work ethic to whatever she pursues. I don’t know about Luis, but for us, it has nothing to do with soccer specifically, rather developing the skills and character traits needed to get good at what you love and want to do with your life so you’re equipped to achieve your goals...


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## Poconos (Aug 30, 2019)

justified said:


> 8 year olds don't know what "watch the back post" means.


....until you tell them


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## Supermodel56 (Aug 30, 2019)

justified said:


> 8 year olds don't know what "watch the back post" means.


Maybe yours didn’t, but my kid knew exactly what that meant and why...  she was in a tough position, I wouldn’t place the blame fully on her because both her and I knew that if she didn’t step over to help, the other defenders would’ve given up a shot goal.

It was kind of a damned if you do, damned if you don’t. But at least if she marked her player and watched the back post like she was supposed to, coach would’ve yelled at the other kid instead...  Of course, who knows maybe coach would’ve yelled at her why didn’t she help?!?   

I’m sure no one has been in that situation before, LoL.


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## Luis Andres (Aug 30, 2019)

@Chalklines @Fact since you guys seem to be so wise and confident about your ways. Care to share your kids soccer story. Where they started and where they are right now? Yes I’m calling you guys out. To see if you guys are for real or just a bunch of trolls


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## Supermodel56 (Aug 30, 2019)

Kicker4Life said:


> No but I may or may not have spent time with one or two (LOL)


They should just add counseling services to our club fees...


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## LASTMAN14 (Aug 30, 2019)

Supermodel56 said:


> They should just add counseling services to our club fees...


You mean a team bar tab. Thought all parents counseled each other at the bar!


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## Supermodel56 (Aug 30, 2019)

LASTMAN14 said:


> You mean a team bar tab. Thought all parents counseled each other at the bar!


I like where you’re going with this...


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## Kicker4Life (Aug 30, 2019)

Supermodel56 said:


> They should just add counseling services to our club fees...


I can think of a few people who could benefit from that service


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## LASTMAN14 (Aug 30, 2019)

Supermodel56 said:


> I like where you’re going with this...


We have weekly sessions at the local brewery.


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## jpeter (Aug 30, 2019)

What ever happened to happy hour?

On wait that's after work today :chug:


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## allidoiswin (Aug 30, 2019)

Chalklines said:


> your platinum


His platinum????  *you’re


----------



## Soccer43 (Aug 30, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> @Chalklines @Fact since you guys seem to be so wise and confident about your ways. Care to share your kids soccer story. Where they started and where they are right now? Yes I’m calling you guys out. To see if you guys are for real or just a bunch of trolls


I’m just a troll and make up a lot of stuff


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## Multi Sport (Aug 30, 2019)

Chalklines said:


> And *im* the dumb one.
> 
> Good thing your platinum to save even more embarrassment


Carful when correcting others typos. Especially when you missed one of your own..


----------



## Fact (Aug 30, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> @Chalklines @Fact since you guys seem to be so wise and confident about your ways. Care to share your kids soccer story. Where they started and where they are right now? Yes I’m calling you guys out. To see if you guys are for real or just a bunch of trolls


Ok loser. My kids are well adjusted adults that played Soccer since they were young. Not my #1 sport for them but that is what they choose and since we did not want them to be over scheduled they picked 1 or 2 other activities as youth depending on the time commitments.  One still in college and all attended UC or Ivies with 2 playing in college and all 3 getting scholarships based on academics and or soccer.  Their goal was to pick the college for their major and if Soccer fit in great otherwise there are always college club teams, Rec and adult leagues to continue playing the game they love.  They never worried about getting to the next level because they loved Soccer and always had a ball at their feet.  1 quit in HS to pursue another passion which catapulted him to world fame in his field. I remember packing with him for college, he took 2 sets of cleats because he was excited to play on the club team if time permitted.  Again his goal not mine!

All had the speed, endurance, raw talent, competitiveness, IQ etc. Maybe 1 was a unicorn but we believed in a balanced life and not putting all their eggs in one basket.  Plus our summer and holiday  travel use to interfere quiet a bit.  They were highly recruited by tops club team when they were young and no matter the level of team, they generally played the entire game although I sometimes requested that they be required to work for their spots not just be entitled since they were good. For example, if they were late they needed to be held accountable. Some coaches held them to the same standard as everyone else on the team and some just let them play because they wanted to win.  To me Soccer was an important life lesson.

At this point my kids and I enjoy assisting coaches, shagging balls and supporting my nieces play.  Unfortunately one of my nieces quit because of an ass like you.  Kids hear a lot more than they let on.  So my son is busy coaching AYSO with her to get her confidence back to play club.  The funny thing is it looks like her AYSO team is better or at least comparable to her club team.  Again, jackass losers like you should be banned from all fields!  No matter what level someone plays soccer at, your first priority should be to have fun and it is NOT fun with losers like you around.


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## Fact (Aug 30, 2019)

Now answer my question, does your coach and other parents know that you are on here?


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## JoeZ (Aug 30, 2019)

Fact, Nice story but doubt its true except for the AYSO part. Your calling people dumb, stupid, losers, jackasses and all the other foul names you continually call people is not necessary. Even when directed at this guy.


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## Multi Sport (Aug 30, 2019)

JoeZ said:


> Fact, Nice story but doubt its true except for the AYSO part. Your calling people dumb, stupid, losers, jackasses and all the other foul names you continually call people is not necessary. Even when directed at this guy.


Maybe two things were true?


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## Poconos (Aug 30, 2019)

Fact said:


> Ok loser.


you really have cornered the market on vitriol, where do you find the energy?


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## Fact (Aug 30, 2019)

JoeZ said:


> Fact, Nice story but doubt its true except for the AYSO part. Your calling people dumb, stupid, losers, jackasses and all the other foul names you continually call people is not necessary. Even when directed at this guy.


So you can imply that I am a liar and that is ok?  Hypocrite!


----------



## Luis Andres (Aug 30, 2019)

Fact said:


> Ok loser. My kids are well adjusted adults that played Soccer since they were young. Not my #1 sport for them but that is what they choose and since we did not want them to be over scheduled they picked 1 or 2 other activities as youth depending on the time commitments.  One still in college and all attended UC or Ivies with 2 playing in college and all 3 getting scholarships based on academics and or soccer.  Their goal was to pick the college for their major and if Soccer fit in great otherwise there are always college club teams, Rec and adult leagues to continue playing the game they love.  They never worried about getting to the next level because they loved Soccer and always had a ball at their feet.  1 quit in HS to pursue another passion which catapulted him to world fame in his field. I remember packing with him for college, he took 2 sets of cleats because he was excited to play on the club team if time permitted.  Again his goal not mine!
> 
> All had the speed, endurance, raw talent, competitiveness, IQ etc. Maybe 1 was a unicorn but we believed in a balanced life and not putting all their eggs in one basket.  Plus our summer and holiday  travel use to interfere quiet a bit.  They were highly recruited by tops club team when they were young and no matter the level of team, they generally played the entire game although I sometimes requested that they be required to work for their spots not just be entitled since they were good. For example, if they were late they needed to be held accountable. Some coaches held them to the same standard as everyone else on the team and some just let them play because they wanted to win.  To me Soccer was an important life lesson.
> 
> At this point my kids and I enjoy assisting coaches, shagging balls and supporting my nieces play.  Unfortunately one of my nieces quit because of an ass like you.  Kids hear a lot more than they let on.  So my son is busy coaching AYSO with her to get her confidence back to play club.  The funny thing is it looks like her AYSO team is better or at least comparable to her club team.  Again, jackass losers like you should be banned from all fields!  No matter what level someone plays soccer at, your first priority should be to have fun and it is NOT fun with losers like you around.


So your kids were naturally talented and did not have to work hard like all the other elite players do and clubs and coaches were all over them. Interesting. World fame for one of them. What’s he world famous for? So they loved soccer so much, where naturally gifted and one maybe a unicorn and none of them worried or had the desire to get to the next level because they loved soccer. Interesting. With such natural talent and with such love for the sport wouldn’t they have the drive to get the next level? Especially the unicorn? Wow what a Story. You should try getting a job for Disney cause you are a great writer. The world famous part was the over kill. Could have been believable if you would have left that out and maybe toned it down a bit. I believe in talent but I don’t believe that talent without hard work can take you places. Whatever you want to be successful at in life requires hard work and effort and your world famous child just happen to create world fame without much effort. That I can’t buy because his competitor is working his tail off to compete with him and he may just be as talented.


----------



## The Outlaw *BANNED* (Aug 30, 2019)

Emma said:


> Kids we knew at U9 loved watching themselves.  My children and their teammates always begged to be recorded and watched themselves.  They just didn't like it when adults said negative things about their plays.  Surprisingly, they were actually very critical of each other (and complimentary) but they didn't get upset when teammates provided feedback.  On the other hand, parents that made too many criticisms got looks.  If you stick to the compliments, they'll beg to watch it with you until you need a case of beer.


Kids watching themselves and kids breaking down film are 2 separate concepts.  It's one of many mistakes he's making.


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## Luis Andres (Aug 30, 2019)

The Outlaw said:


> Kids watching themselves and kids breaking down film are 2 separate concepts.  It's one of many mistakes he's making.


You guys are talking like I’m the head coach of a college soccer team going over film play by play but it’s not like that at all. It’s more like I recorded the games and she’s curious to just watch the game on the computer. Occasionally if I feel there is something that they could have done better as a team, and usually just defensively I engage her by showing her that part and ask her a question to engage her thought process and then adding my own take on the play.


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## Grace T. (Aug 30, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> . Occasionally if I feel there is something that they could have done better as a team, and usually just defensively I engage her by showing her that part and ask her a question to engage her thought process and then adding my own take on the play.


  If she enjoys it cool.  As I mentioned before, it's more likely she's getting stuff from your tone of voice and your questions than watching the video itself.  Kudos for using the question method instead of lecturing her.  But where you want to be careful is talking about the rest of the team (especially the keeper).  It's not really your place to be critiquing the other players (which is remember where we started this entire trainwreck) and you aren't the coach (maybe the coach wants to handle it a different way, even if he's wrong).  If you don't have the confidence in the coach, you really do have to find a new team...and if you really think you can't trust any coach, as I mentioned before become a United coach and coach her yourself.  And it's bad enough to critique other players in front of us...to do so in front of your daughter (even if it's meant in the spirit of improvement instead of spite) is one of the worst things you can do....at best you are turning her into a know-it-all that will presume she knows better than her teammates and at worst you are undermining her confidence in her coach and her team.  If you really must have her hear your critiques, critique the pros in front of her.


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## Luis Andres (Aug 30, 2019)

*“Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny.”*

I once read a book in my college days called the 7 Habits of highly effective people and this quote was in there. And it has stuck with me as the framework for success in anything you do in life be it business, sports, art, music etc. I’m not a soccer expert but I can tell you I’ve read the biographies of many elite professional players and they all have one thing in common. They were able to develop the passion and the love for the sport at a very young age and they were able to create down stream focus in the process to get to their destiny. What do I mean by downstream focus? It’s the act of doing the necessary things that you have to do and knowing when you need to do it without forcing yourself and hating the process. It’s falling in love with the process because you’ve built the necessary habits that are defining who you are as a person. Your character. 

All I’m doing is filling my DD with powerful thoughts and concepts in her head to help set her values,  beliefs and principles to do well in life. By telling her some stories of famous people that have accomplished great things in life. It’s called modeling. Having planted those thoughts in her head, have gotten her to create actions where she feels positive for acting like her role models. Those actions that she’s planted have turned into daily habits that are starting to define who she may become. Hopefully into a good human being is all I could ask for and that her principles are aligned with her ambitions in life. It’s up to her to sow her character in the future and if she is able to do that she will reap her destiny. So far so good. I can say in the beginning she met me with a little friction but after explaining why building soccer fundamentals were so important at a young age and showing her that her role models were doing the same, she started to enjoy the process.


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## Poconos (Aug 30, 2019)

Luis Andres said:


> *“Sow a thought, reap an action; sow an action, reap a habit; sow a habit, reap a character; sow a character, reap a destiny.”*
> 
> I once read a book in my college days called the 7 Habits of highly effective people and this quote was in there. And it has stuck with me as the framework for success in anything you do in life be it business, sports, art, music etc. I’m not a soccer expert but I can tell you I’ve read the biographies of many elite professional players and they all have one thing in common. They were able to develop the passion and the love for the sport at a very young age and they were able to create down stream focus in the process to get to their destiny. What do I mean by downstream focus? It’s the act of doing the necessary things that you have to do and knowing when you need to do it without forcing yourself and hating the process. It’s falling in love with the process because you’ve built the necessary habits that are defining who you are as a person. Your character.
> 
> All I’m doing is filling my DD with powerful thoughts and concepts in her head to help set her values,  beliefs and principles to do well in life. By telling her some stories of famous people that have accomplished great things in life. It’s called modeling. Having planted those thoughts in her head, have gotten her to create actions where she feels positive for acting like her role models. Those actions that she’s planted have turned into daily habits that are starting to define who she may become. Hopefully into a good human being is all I could ask for and that her principles are aligned with her ambitions in life. It’s up to her to sow her character in the future and if she is able to do that she will reap her destiny. So far so good. I can say in the beginning she met me with a little friction but after explaining why building soccer fundamentals were so important at a young age and showing her that her role models were doing the same, she started to enjoy the process.


On the one hand, you have been unfairly ganged up on during this flack - - the sanctimonious mob has nagged you with repetitive scoldings and has been unnecessarily caustic in their attacks.  On the other hand, you keep playing the masochist by coming back for more.   You crazy kids enjoy yourselves.


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