# What is the end goal?



## blam (Dec 23, 2018)

What is the end goal for you as a parent who has a child playing soccer? What would you like to see at the end of the day after all the time and money investment and driving? 

Would you want your child to play in the MLS where the average salary is 120k (real estate agents can make more than that, and requires less talent)? Why not pick another sport such as baseball where the average salary is at $4m at the MLB?


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## Soccerfan2 (Dec 23, 2018)

Have fun, enjoy being part of a team, have something positive to do with their time, keep fit, learn all the life lessons that come with playing a sport, have something to play for life and teach to others later on. 
My kids picked this sport, not me. I only require that they pick something.


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## Dargle (Dec 23, 2018)

For almost everyone who visits this forum, everyone who plays with your child, and every kid you or your child will ever go to school with or see play, the end result in every sport they play will not be to make a single dime playing the sport.  Even for the very, very small % of those kids who do end up going pro in any sport, including soccer, the odds that they will make the average salary listed above or more, are exceedingly small (maybe you know 1-2 kids who "make it" out of the thousands of kids you encounter while your kid grows up).  Even for the very, very, very small % of those kids who will reach the average salary or above, the odds they will play more than a few seasons because of an injury or decline in performance are almost nil (for example, even if you know a baseball kid who was drafted and got a decent bonus, chances are they never made it from the minors to the majors before washing out).  This is true even if your kid is playing and starting at an MLS Academy, given the very small % of MLS DA kids who are ever signed even to a USL contract, let alone a senior deal, and who stay long enough to reach an average salary.  Given those odds, any parent who directs his or her child to a particular sport because of future earning potential is completely delusional.  It makes paying all of that $ over the years for your child to play a particular sport because of the possibility of receiving a college scholarship look almost rational.

So, why would anyone think the end goal was a career?


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## timbuck (Dec 23, 2018)

Do soccer parents have the highest (and most unrealistic) expectations out of all sports parent?
Not sure what it’s like today in other sports, but growing up in the Midwest-we played sports to play sports.  The best soccer player went to the army.  Nobody on the high school basketball team played in college. A few on the high school football team played Divisi9n 3 (at schools with populations smaller than our HS).   One girl on the softball team played on a full ride at UofM.  Lots of hockey players but none played in college or in minor leagues.   
It seems that on a soccer team, most parents think their kid is at least going to play in college. And the majority of those think that a scholarship is going to pay for school.


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## jpeter (Dec 23, 2018)

To have a fun heathy hobby:
The memories you make playing youth sports will last a lifetime.  Kids will forget many of their school teachers for example, but the memory of scoring the winning goal or the PK's in a Championship final will always be remembered.  The hotel stays, travel with the mate's to places they would not be going to always will me remembered.

Being a teammate and team player:

Playing sports helps develop kids to work together & learn leadership skills also.

Working as a team to reach a common goal helps kids develop communication and problem solving skills that will benefit them on the field and off.

Don't forget why kids like to play sports and try not to focus what  you may expect out of them.

Having no expectations or end goal in mind for the start, acutally makes thing better IMO:  letting them find their own way, make mistakes, learn from them, grow, makes decisions is part of growing up. They will find there level regardless so best to let them make there own end goals and not have preconceived notions, see what happens.

Don't forget the number 1 reason kids play sports is because they enjoy them and its fun.  When it stops being fun they want to quit or don't give there best efforts.  Don't put any unnecessary pressure on them to  to perform up to a certain level that you expect or whatever just let them do their thing (s).

Some people think youth sports is all about how many wins,  trophies tournaments metals that you can accumulate but in reality most kids care less about winning and more about:

Getting a good players coach that treats players with respect.
Getting playing time, playing well as team, getting along and developing team chemisty.   Trying there best & staying active.


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## ferbert (Dec 23, 2018)

blam said:


> What is the end goal for you as a parent who has a child playing soccer? What would you like to see at the end of the day after all the time and money investment and driving?
> 
> Would you want your child to play in the MLS where the average salary is 120k (real estate agents can make more than that, and requires less talent)? Why not pick another sport such as baseball where the average salary is at $4m at the MLB?


Very good column.
It is very important to set and pursuit immediate, mid and long term goals. This mindset will bring you to the next level, regardless if you are at sports or professional environment.
When the players are 6 years old or so, we all want them to become a pro players, that is the ultimate dream or goal. As they get close to the point where they will really have to decide if soccer might help them to step up on their lives, we realized that being on a MLS team isn't really what we expected for many years.
I am witness of this example. (His lil brother plays at my team)
A player who got scholarship offer to go UCLA, offer to go play at USA national team and offer to play MLS. This player picked to go MLS due to the parental pressure. Before long, this player was at the bench most of time and after a bit got injured. He finished his contract and MLS kicked him off. At the age of 23 he had to start all over in a community college, wasting 5 crucial years of his life.
MLS career is too short and risky, player plays at the most 10 years and then they will have to start again somewhere else. Look Cienfiegos from galaxy, ended up as a 12 year old coach, or Donovan asking for a minute to play at the MX league. These two players mentioned avobe where the most revenant MLS players in the USA during the time.
My best advise and hopefully my sons direction is to get a scholarship to go to college. This way players can continue playing at high level, while they are preparing theirselfs with a professional academic career.
Of course, the fame, ego, and more artificial feelings might take you to pick MLS.
Every case is different.


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## TangoCity (Dec 23, 2018)

To have a good time, make good friends and even better memories.


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## RedCard (Dec 23, 2018)

I just want my 13 year old twins to clean their rooms.....


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## MWN (Dec 23, 2018)

To get the f' off the computer games.  My kid is some sort of Fortnite / Destiny 2 / Battlefield ///// savant and if left to his own devices would live off of Cactus Cooler, Hot Cheetos and Kraft Mac & Cheese.  His best friends are 30 year old losers from Po'Dunk middle America where they worship him as some sort of demi-God.  Seriously, they gift him Steam Bucks so he can buy games and join their little clans and lead their sorry asses to victory over other groups of 30 something losers.

My hope is that he exercises, has friends that are not 2x his age, keeps at least a B average, isn't arrested and/or the FBI doesn't visit me.  The kid has college coaches following him on the recruiting sites, but wants to be a professional gamer ... AHHHHHHH!  

End goal.  Graduate without knocking up a girl and go to college, if he gets a partial scholarship to play keeper at his college, great.  If not, that's ok too.


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## socalkdg (Dec 23, 2018)

MWN said:


> End goal.  Graduate without knocking up a girl and go to college, if he gets a partial scholarship to play keeper at his college, great.  If not, that's ok too.


. As the father of two daughters I thought I was the only one with this type of goal.  No boys.  Make it to college.  Everything else is a bonus.  Keep up the good work keeping those boys busy and away from my daughters.


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## White Lightning (Dec 24, 2018)

blam said:


> What is the end goal for you as a parent who has a child playing soccer? What would you like to see at the end of the day after all the time and money investment and driving?
> 
> Would you want your child to play in the MLS where the average salary is 120k (real estate agents can make more than that, and requires less talent)? Why not pick another sport such as baseball where the average salary is at $4m at the MLB?


As a current real estate broker and former college athlete (football & baseball), one thing I can tell you is that you can’t throw a rock anywhere in my office of 25+ agents and not hit a former athlete that competed at every level.  It’s not a coincidence. 

The end game is to provide my kids a competitive environment that will teach them to communicate and work hard to achieve goals that will eventually make them successful at any chosen profession.  Competition without participation trophies is absolutely worth every penny. 

Plus my daughter can’t hit a curveball, so the MLB is probably out of the question.


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## SoccerFan4Life (Dec 24, 2018)

End Goal by age
2-7: Next messi
8-12: Make it to Academy
12-15 - Flight 1 top team - starter
15-17:  Just watch you play before you call it quits and start the real world

To be honest: The one thing that has come out of this for my kids is that they have learned to: 1.  Be competitive, strong work ethics, great time mgmt (School & sports), and just stay fit.   They have moved on to other sports but I always get compliments about their work ethic. 

Now that I am on with my 3rd child at age 9, I am just enjoying her grow and could care less of the scores/results.    
For the rest of the parents that just started focus on the following: 
1. Focus on training and player development at a young age 
2. Let them play different sports to see which one they really really love. 
3. It's ok to miss a practice if your kid is really tired. 
4. Let them have fun and you should also have fun.  Dont get involved in the club soccer politics
5. Buy a video camera and record  your kids as soon you will have no youth sports once they move on to high school (Junior, Senior years)  and college.


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## Overlap (Dec 24, 2018)

blam said:


> What is the end goal for you as a parent who has a child playing soccer? What would you like to see at the end of the day after all the time and money investment and driving?
> 
> Would you want your child to play in the MLS where the average salary is 120k (real estate agents can make more than that, and requires less talent)? Why not pick another sport such as baseball where the average salary is at $4m at the MLB?


Every year this thought has crossed my mind, it's come up several times over the years on this board and now with my last DD aging out, I can say what _my_ end goal was all along. When our oldest was 5-6, she had speed and endless energy, she needed an outlet because I could play outside with her for hours and she never got tired, she'd wear the dog out from running around! At that point in time AYSO was the answer however, there wasn't enough girls registered so she played with boys for her first 2 years, at U10 I was tired of watching Dad's that had no clue what they were doing so I volunteered to take classes and coach. I have to admit, I knew less about the game and had to become a student really fast. I coached her until U12, several kids that she knew had already left to play "club", I could tell she was needing more of a challenge and we decided to look into club at the end of the season, she ended up at our local club for her entire club career. It was endless hours of practice, privates, working with her in the off season and countless memories of early morning drives with her wrapped in a blanket in the front seat while I drank coffee on our sometimes hours long drive, sometimes we talked, laughed, had friends in the car, teammate and her little sister was usually in tow. As she got older we saw team mates come and team mates go as ECNL was a big draw for others, all the while, she wanted to stay with her team. I had to learn the college recruiting process, I started early and thought, "I can do this", after countless arguments about, "did you contact this coach", "did you follow up with that coach?" and our relationship getting strained, we hired someone to guide her through the process. She went on to play D3 college soccer in upstate NY, she wanted a balance and she received a substantial amount of merit money to make it exciting for mom & dad, for reference, she was a G98, just had her second year at college, is killing it with terrific grades, loves the school and had 2 really good seasons still playing the game she loves. Here's the second part of my end game - her little sister was always in tow as I mentioned earlier, (G00 for reference), she also stuck with our local club team, she got stuck with what I think was a bunch of crappy situations, the addition of DA, DA2, Age Matrix and parents buying into whatever was next, teams were diluted this year and while it was still fun, I could see first hand what's happening in the club circuit and not very hopeful things would end up as I hoped. Then, my oldest texts me asking if I have a "highlight" video of her little sister, just so happened I was working on it for the Thanksgiving and Las Vegas Players Showcase in the event she changed her mind about playing in college. She asks me for forward it to her, then tells the next day her coached asked if she plans on playing in college, I'm thinking, this could still actually happen! He asks her to make a visit in Oct, she goes, loves the school, offer is made and it takes a few weeks to get the financial portion as it's a D3 and they need transcripts. The formal offer shows up, I'm floored as it's far better than I ever expected, she's excited however, doesn't make the commit until just a few days ago. I'm beside myself, I always thought of somehow figuring out a way of getting all of those club fees back  and hopes they both would still have the joy of the game to continue on in college. There's no illusion of going pro however, they both became part of the 3% that go on to play at the collegiate level, they get a terrific education for a LOT less than a CA State school at a private liberal arts college where they will both excel....I don't think I could have ever hoped for a better end game with countless memories of spending all of my time with both of my DD's


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## Multi Sport (Dec 26, 2018)

White Lightning said:


> As a current real estate broker and former college athlete (football & baseball), one thing I can tell you is that you can’t throw a rock anywhere in my office of 25+ agents and not hit a former athlete that competed at every level.  It’s not a coincidence.
> 
> The end game is to provide my kids a competitive environment that will teach them to communicate and work hard to achieve goals that will eventually make them successful at any chosen profession.  Competition without participation trophies is absolutely worth every penny.
> 
> Plus my daughter can’t hit a curveball, so the MLB is probably out of the question.


What is it about athletes and real estate? My brother-in-law (former NFL) is doing great in real estate and my nephew (former pro soccer) is also crushing it. I know of two other former NFL players that are in real estate and are doing well too. Is it the competition and the challenge?


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## watfly (Dec 26, 2018)

Do we have to have an end goal for youth soccer?    I just try to enjoy the ride because I have very little control over the end result.  Plus I don't know how productive it is to plan out much farther than a year for soccer.  Maybe I'll change my mind as my son gets older.


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## Woodwork (Dec 26, 2018)

I believe competitive sports can be part of the development of a whole person, the physical, the spiritual, and the intellectual.  If I had a son, then recreational sports would probably be sufficient.  There is still a gap in girls' sports where you have to seek out better competition.

Also, the best thing in life is to see your kid crush other kids, see them driven before her, and to hear the lamentations of their parents.


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## Fact (Dec 26, 2018)

Multi Sport said:


> What is it about athletes and real estate? My brother-in-law (former NFL) is doing great in real estate and my nephew (former pro soccer) is also crushing it. However, I am a complete d-bag


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## Sheriff Joe (Dec 26, 2018)

Looks like lying-fact has a man crush on multi.


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## Sheriff Joe (Dec 26, 2018)

RedCard said:


> I just want my 13 year old twins to clean their rooms.....


Put them together, 1 room is easier to clean than 2. That will teach em.


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## MakeAPlay (Dec 26, 2018)

For me it was about the peer group that she was playing with and the journey.  Lots of great students playing high level women’s soccer.  For her it has been and will always be about having fun and winning.  A college scholarship and/or a chance to be a pro was/is secondary.

Enjoy the ride it is over before you know it.


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## ChargerPride (Dec 26, 2018)

Aspire to dream of what can be. However reality will set in once your DD shows the quality of player they want to be and actually show it. 
So I made it simple. Enjoy watching your DD play a great sport and hope to make their youth career as enjoyable as possible. If your DD can get a soccer scholarship and continue to play, great. If they can continue to walk on and play while simultaneously getting a career which I hope they love. Then, what better way to move forward.  The elite players who love the sport will and may continue to play at the higher levels and highest levels. To the majority , the conditioning and benefits of training, friendships, attitude and experience and memories, build the foundation for the person to be the best they can be. The end game is the path that makes them the best person they can be.


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## White Lightning (Dec 26, 2018)

Multi Sport said:


> What is it about athletes and real estate? My brother-in-law (former NFL) is doing great in real estate and my nephew (former pro soccer) is also crushing it. I know of two other former NFL players that are in real estate and are doing well too. Is it the competition and the challenge?





Multi Sport said:


> What is it about athletes and real estate? My brother-in-law (former NFL) is doing great in real estate and my nephew (former pro soccer) is also crushing it. I know of two other former NFL players that are in real estate and are doing well too. Is it the competition and the challenge?


It is absolutely the competition and the challenge. The only other outlet I have is coaching, which I do for both baseball and football.   Real estate helps fills the void that never really goes away.


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## blam (Dec 27, 2018)

ferbert said:


> MLS career is too short and risky, player plays at the most 10 years and then they will have to start again somewhere else.


Thanks for sharing the experience. I came across this article. Median pay for MLS is only $90k with an average career of 2.5 years; which means an MLS player can roughly make a lifetime earning of $90k + 90k + 45k = $225k; not much at all and not enough to afford a home in southern california. What is there left for non-MLS players? 

https://www.americansocceranalysis.com/home/2015/1/26/visualizingmlssalaries

With DA practices taking up to 4 days a week, many players are missing out other "academic" curricular activities like Science Olympiad etc. etc that could help groom them into a real career. Are you making difficult trade offs like these?


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## Multi Sport (Dec 27, 2018)

blam said:


> Thanks for sharing the experience. I came across this article. Median pay for MLS is only $90k with an average career of 2.5 years; which means an MLS player can roughly make a lifetime earning of $90k + 90k + 45k = $225k; not much at all and not enough to afford a home in southern california.


Much less then that once you pay your agent and taxes. Keep in mind that athletes pay state taxes in every state that they play in providing the state has a tax.


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## timbuck (Dec 27, 2018)

I've said it before -  Players at the bottom end of the scale are better off coaching 3-4 teams of 12 year olds.  With private training - they'll make more money.

And certainly on the womens side.  Good friend of ours played at UCLA.  Got a few senior team call ups.  Was in the womens league prior to the NWSL.  She makes way more money doing privates than the $18k per year she got playing "professional womens soccer."


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## Kicker4Life (Dec 27, 2018)

blam said:


> With DA practices taking up to 4 days a week, many players are missing out other "academic" curricular activities like Science Olympiad etc. etc that could help groom them into a real career. Are you making difficult trade offs like these?


No!


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## BigSoccer (Dec 27, 2018)

I think most secretly hope their child gets the opportunity to play at the college level and maybe secretly many parents with sons hope to see their son play in the pros.  I have had those day dreams.  Why lie about it. It would be so cool to watch my child live his dream and passion.  Reality is that it may not happen and that is not why I drive to trainings and tournaments.  If he gets the opportunity to play in college at any D1 thru JC it will be a blessing and it will give me an opportunity to do what I love which is watching him play with joy.


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## Chalklines (Dec 27, 2018)

blam said:


> Thanks for sharing the experience. I came across this article. Median pay for MLS is only $90k with an average career of 2.5 years; which means an MLS player can roughly make a lifetime earning of $90k + 90k + 45k = $225k; not much at all and not enough to afford a home in southern california. What is there left for non-MLS players?
> 
> https://www.americansocceranalysis.com/home/2015/1/26/visualizingmlssalaries
> 
> With DA practices taking up to 4 days a week, many players are missing out other "academic" curricular activities like Science Olympiad etc. etc that could help groom them into a real career. Are you making difficult trade offs like these?


You can earn a degree and take classes anytime any where these days which makes changing careers VERY easy. Why not chase the dream even if its for 3 years? Lifes too short and the daily grind of any job will eventually catch up so why not enjoy life playing a sport while you can.

So you begin the rat race at 30 instead of 25.......what have you really lost out on again?


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## Jonathan David Jacobs (Dec 28, 2018)

Baseball!  Baseball is not a sport.


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## Keepermom2 (Dec 28, 2018)

I went straight to my 12 year old female horse and asked her what her end game is.  At first her answer was to get on an ECNL team or a DA team by age 14.  Then I said, what about longer term and she said....to make it to at least second Keeper for the USWNT or Russian team (She was born in Russia) or to play in college.  I then asked her what would happen if none of that happened would she be bummed that she sacrificed so much time and dealt with so much drama and she said...I know it is a small chance but why not go for it!  There you have it...my 12 year old horse has spoken.    I interrupted a Fortnight game for these answers so I am shocked I got them at all.


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## blam (Dec 29, 2018)

Chalklines said:


> So you begin the rat race at 30 instead of 25.......what have you really lost out on again?


Its trade off between academics and soccer. If one does well enough to get into Harvard for example, the annual cost is only $5000 if income is below $60k. Its pretty much a scholarship also.


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## Woodwork (Dec 29, 2018)

But Harvard soccer is meh.  Better to go to FSU.


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## LASTMAN14 (Dec 29, 2018)

Woodwork said:


> But Harvard soccer is meh.  Better to go to FSU.


I understand your logic strictly based on soccer. But you go to Harvard no matter if you like the soccer or not.


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## Woodwork (Dec 29, 2018)

Even if you don't like soccer, what I'm suggesting here is that you should choose FSU because of soccer superiority.


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## LASTMAN14 (Dec 29, 2018)

Woodwork said:


> Even if you don't like soccer, what I'm suggesting here is that you should choose FSU because of soccer superiority.


This thread is on the end goal. Less than 5% of all applicants get in to Harvard. Go to Harvard (get a top shelf education) and play soccer any day over FSU and their tentative superiority.


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## Chalklines (Dec 29, 2018)

https://tse2.mm.bing.net/th?id=OGC.a9e10a43d0d58cb69e46b7c0c0226454&pid=Api&rurl=https://media.giphy.com/media/mpYstSDYP9YAM/giphy.gif&ehk=E32+ZMIeArjSjIKUJd1gJQ


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## Woodwork (Dec 29, 2018)

LASTMAN14 said:


> This thread is on the end goal. Less than 5% of all applicants get in to Harvard. Go to Harvard (get a top shelf education) and play soccer any day over FSU and their tentative superiority.


Harvard arguably isn't even the top academic school, especially once you take into account specific majors.  Whereas FSU is the top soccer school.  I don't know how this is even close.  Are you trolling me?  Because I feel like one of us is trolling, and if it isn't you then it must be me.


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## LASTMAN14 (Dec 29, 2018)

Woodwork said:


> Harvard arguably isn't even the top academic school, especially once you take into account specific majors.  Whereas FSU is the top soccer school.  I don't know how this is even close.  Are you trolling me?  Because I feel like one of us is trolling, and if it isn't you then it must be me.


Ha! I don’t troll. I just respond and debate. Though I will disagree with you on the same arguments about FSU. To say Harvard isn’t one of the best. Is like saying a Rolls Royce’s quality and performance is just like an Infiniti. However, it’s the individual who makes the difference in what they do with their degree from FSU, Harvard or any other institution.


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## Simisoccerfan (Dec 29, 2018)

End game was for my kids to learn the benefits of being part of a team and set the stage for a heathy, athletic life.  For me it was to enjoy seeing them play and the time I got to spend with them.  Everything else is just icing.


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## LASTMAN14 (Dec 29, 2018)

https://www.usnews.com/best-colleges/rankings/national-universities


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## Woodwork (Dec 29, 2018)

LASTMAN14 said:


> https://www.usnews.com/best-colleges/rankings/national-universities


I saw Princeton and then stopped reading...


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## LASTMAN14 (Dec 29, 2018)

Woodwork said:


> I saw Princeton and then stopped reading...


Ha! Me too. But I stopped at #2.


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## socalkdg (Dec 29, 2018)

Keepermom2 said:


> I went straight to my 12 year old female horse and asked her what her end game is.  At first her answer was to get on an ECNL team or a DA team by age 14.  Then I said, what about longer term and she said....to make it to at least second Keeper for the USWNT or Russian team (She was born in Russia) or to play in college.  I then asked her what would happen if none of that happened would she be bummed that she sacrificed so much time and dealt with so much drama and she said...I know it is a small chance but why not go for it!  There you have it...my 12 year old horse has spoken.    I interrupted a Fortnight game for these answers so I am shocked I got them at all.


It will be so cool to see our daughters play against each other at the 2031 World Cup games.  Russia vs USA in the finals (figured she would take the starting job with Russia over the backup job for USA).    Sadly she will probably still be living at home.    

I think as parents if any of us have the opportunity to see our kids play in college we should be counting our blessings.


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## Keepermom2 (Dec 30, 2018)

socalkdg said:


> It will be so cool to see our daughters play against each other at the 2031 World Cup games.  Russia vs USA in the finals (figured she would take the starting job with Russia over the backup job for USA).    Sadly she will probably still be living at home.
> 
> I think as parents if any of us have the opportunity to see our kids play in college we should be counting our blessings.


LOL!!!  That is great!


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## blam (Jan 5, 2019)

A number of responses mention they wished to see their children play soccer in College. Why is this important? Is it for the scholarship?


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## espola (Jan 5, 2019)

blam said:


> A number of responses mention they wished to see their children play soccer in College. Why is this important? Is it for the scholarship?


Even without a scholarship, playing on a college team helps focus the player's efforts since he/she must make good enough grades to stay eligible and reduces the amount of empty time that leads some students into wasteful behaviors.


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## Speed (Jan 5, 2019)

blam said:


> A number of responses mention they wished to see their children play soccer in College. Why is this important? Is it for the scholarship?


I didn't respond but my daughters end goal is to play college regardless of level. She is driven, committed and an overachiever. hopefully she doesn't burn herself out. She was at the doctor this week and he asked her what she wanted to be--federal agent (his response gun toting? hers....yes) or attorney (his response what kind? hers: end goal US district attorney). My goal for her is to play soccer long enough it keeps her out of trouble and get a job later in life so she isn't  working at taco bell when she's 30


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## younothat (Jan 5, 2019)

*Happiness....
*
Do whatever makes you happy....

Is life is a series of goals in some random order?

Every day, month, year you can achieving something like a goal but then you have to set new goals to raise your bar for yourself.   In that way you are setting a purpose for your life.

My kids are happy when they are playing soccer so they goal is meet when they play...


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## mirage (Jan 7, 2019)

blam said:


> What is the end goal for you as a parent who has a child playing soccer? What would you like to see at the end of the day after all the time and money investment and driving?
> 
> Would you want your child to play in the MLS where the average salary is 120k (real estate agents can make more than that, and requires less talent)? Why not pick another sport such as baseball where the average salary is at $4m at the MLB?


Kinda loaded question isn't it?  I know I'm late to the party on this thread.  Conceptually a great question though...

From a parent who has one in college playing and one a high school junior who plays but does not want to play in college, I guess my perspective is more retrospective than forward looking like many that have already responded.

We always looked playing sports in two primary components.  One, all the things that sports teach kids.  Everything from competing to teamwork, and all the ups and downs that goes with it.  Much of what they learn in sports is directly applicable to life long after youth sports.  The other, is to keep them occupied and learning multitasking and time management, and do it well. 

Our thought on what any sports can do for the child's opportunity as the direct benefit from playing it has always been and we still believe, is a windfall and not expectation.  

Our kids, both Boys, hold both US and EU citizenships and if we believed that turning to be a professional soccer player was the goal, we would have sent our kids to Europe to live with our relatives and train there.  We never gave that a moment of thought.  Our kids are too smart to risk really slim long shot for sake of a chance to become 1st division soccer players.  I'm convinced that our older kid could be playing in lower division right now somewhere in Europe but why?  He is in one of the top Econ program in the country and playing soccer at his college.  We much rather see him own and run a professional soccer club than play for one.

I was struck with the OP's comment about "all the time and money investment and driving?"  We have never thought of the time and expenses as any type of investment.  Its just cost of raising kids. 

Also, selecting other sports that pay more, well, the kid has to like what he/she is playing right?  Our older kid played baseball until he finished Cooperstown tournament at 12U then quit.  He as on a Demarini sponsored travel ball team as one of the middle infielder. He didn't like baseball enough to be successful at any higher levels, whereas most of his old teammates are now playing at various colleges throughout the country.  So they may have a shot at making to MLB - to the show.

At the end of the day, the soccer end goal for us has been the journey.  The journey that started us back at U6 AYSO that now has us watching our older son on livestream college games (we do get to couple of games in person during the fall) has been simply priceless.  Its been great watching both of our kids become fine young men.  

While our soccer journey is not complete, we're certainly past the stage of youth soccer drama.  Our younger son has another year of club left to go so there's little bit of drama left I suppose but our "don't give a $hit" factor is really high and just looking forward to enjoying his last year before he heads off to college.


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## javiecua03 (Jan 8, 2019)

ust joined idk how I discovered this forum but am learning a lot from these post. Someone give me their honest feed back. 
My son 2011 we started in oc galaxy awsome PCA program afordable great development for the first 2 yrs. we left the club only reason the drive was heavy for him, It was just bad coming from Long Beach area. Then we found about southbay galaxy figured hey same development program but wrong n wasn’t worth every penny. My son was challenge enough , only reason he stayed in good form because i worked on the side with him. Not to mention my son was practicing with 2011 team and 2010 flight 2 team Monday thru Friday. Wasn’t asked to participate in flight 2 games(even tought they played scdsl in flight 1 bracket)or tournaments they had. But we did participate in outside tournent guest playing with other 2010 teams. Season was over November cdsl which was a joke , but now what to do. I saw how this coach managed he’s 2010 n ofcourse my sons age group. I hate jumping teams, but out the 12 kids 4 are leaving for the same reason. 
We were asked to come back to OC which now the drive is not as bad. They are offering some discount on team fee.
But at the same time we participated in tournament wit Arsenal I don’t know much about that club but that it’s DA and was offer by the coach who invited us to the tournament wants my son to come play with Arsenal offered a “ scholarship “ to cover the cost of gas. So what to do ? I felt like this year was a waste he had fun but in own words why practice so much if he can’t play? Ofcourse he’s still young a lot to learned but has great work ethic for kids he’s age.


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## sweeperkeeper (Jan 13, 2019)

The end goal for me is for my son to play in HS.  I know this goal seems pretty low compared to many on this forum but that is where we stand.  Back in my day, the majority of sports (with the exception of the big 3) didn't really start until HS.  Now you have kids starting just about every sport before HS and most before Middle School, so to be good and to make a team (no matter the sport) you need to start significantly younger.

As many have mentioned, the goal is to learn all of the typical lessons from sports.

The other piece is that soccer is a game that can be played for many years into adulthood.  There aren't many 35 year old pick up games for football, rugby, wrestling etc but there are hundreds of pickup games every weekend that as an adult are great to play in.


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## oh canada (Jan 16, 2019)

It's a harsh reality but kids who grow up spending all that time playing a sport (pick it) then play in college (especially D1 where the commitment is a full-time job) significantly limit their career paths.  As this article relays, insurance sales is one of the few:  http://www.realclearlife.com/sports/star-college-qbs-turn-to-selling-insurance-after-nfl-dreams-fizzle/

Other common jobs:
Real estate Agent
Coach
Physical Therapist
Fitness Instructor

So yes, there is a tradeoff.  Your son/daughter isn't going to consult for McKinsey or write code for Google or find a cure for cancer if they're spending most of their free time juggling a soccer ball year-round while their young and at the athletic fields on campus.  Sounds harsh, but it's true.   Imo, one of the reasons college athletes should be paid.

Take the Harvard degree with soccer over an FSU degree with soccer all day long.  No-brainer.


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## Messi>CR7 (Jan 16, 2019)

oh canada said:


> It's a harsh reality but kids who grow up spending all that time playing a sport (pick it) then play in college (especially D1 where the commitment is a full-time job) significantly limit their career paths.  As this article relays, insurance sales is one of the few:  http://www.realclearlife.com/sports/star-college-qbs-turn-to-selling-insurance-after-nfl-dreams-fizzle/
> 
> Other common jobs:
> Real estate Agent
> ...


I'm curious to know what % of kids use soccer to help get into a better college then quit after freshman year (whether intentional or unintentional)?  A friend's daughter used swimming to help her get into a very good school.  She does not have a athletic scholarship but she also has no intention to swim for four years in college.


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## sweeperkeeper (Jan 16, 2019)

oh canada said:


> It's a harsh reality but kids who grow up spending all that time playing a sport (pick it) then play in college (especially D1 where the commitment is a full-time job) significantly limit their career paths.  As this article relays, insurance sales is one of the few:  http://www.realclearlife.com/sports/star-college-qbs-turn-to-selling-insurance-after-nfl-dreams-fizzle/
> 
> Other common jobs:
> Real estate Agent
> ...


I think this is quite off.  Yes, there are many athletes who squander their college years thinking that they are going pro and going to make the big bucks.  However, there is a reason that many in consulting, Wall St, etc look to hire college athletes.  They know that it takes a certain level of dedication to compete in college that few have.


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## Soccerfan2 (Jan 16, 2019)

oh canada said:


> It's a harsh reality but kids who grow up spending all that time playing a sport (pick it) then play in college (especially D1 where the commitment is a full-time job) significantly limit their career paths.  As this article relays, insurance sales is one of the few:  http://www.realclearlife.com/sports/star-college-qbs-turn-to-selling-insurance-after-nfl-dreams-fizzle/
> 
> Other common jobs:
> Real estate Agent
> ...


I agree with pick the school first, and I agree that playing a D1 sport is a big commitment and many student athletes can’t balance both a demanding major and their sport. But the ones that can’t balance both weren’t going to consult for McKinley or write code for google anyway, and it isn’t because of soccer. There are plenty of examples of high level athletes who go on to have high level careers afterwards.


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## focomoso (Jan 16, 2019)

Soccerfan2 said:


> But the ones that can’t balance both weren’t going to consult for McKinley or write code for google anyway...


Really, why's that?


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## MWN (Jan 16, 2019)

Taking a step back ... playing sports for your HS or College provides an instant network of friends.  I have twin daughters, one who is the 4.4 academic and the other a 3.7 athlete (competition cheer).  The cheerleader always had an instant friend group, be it the sideline or competition cheerleaders.  Her friendships were tight because she went to class, then practiced, attended games and competitions with these girls.  The academic focused kid had more trouble with her friend groups and now in college is struggling to feel like she belongs.  Not so for the athletic one.

Now, my son is in HS, a sophomore on the Varsity soccer team.  Again, instant social network with kids that are generally higher performing kids.  I view playing sports at college as a path to make navigating the social elements just a little easier for the kids.  If it also teaches him to continue fighting to the whistle and never give up, like sports do, its a bonus life lesson.


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## Messi>CR7 (Jan 17, 2019)

MWN said:


> Taking a step back ... playing sports for your HS or College provides an instant network of friends.  I have twin daughters, one who is the 4.4 academic and the other a 3.7 athlete (competition cheer).  The cheerleader always had an instant friend group, be it the sideline or competition cheerleaders.  Her friendships were tight because she went to class, then practiced, attended games and competitions with these girls.  The academic focused kid had more trouble with her friend groups and now in college is struggling to feel like she belongs.  Not so for the athletic one.
> 
> Now, my son is in HS, a sophomore on the Varsity soccer team.  Again, instant social network with kids that are generally higher performing kids.  I view playing sports at college as a path to make navigating the social elements just a little easier for the kids.  If it also teaches him to continue fighting to the whistle and never give up, like sports do, its a bonus life lesson.


I agree playing sports does take time away from other activities, but I really believe time management is more important.  My two kids are still quite young, but I already see the difference even though we raise them the same way.

Within 3 minutes of getting home from soccer, my DD would already be on her homework while eating dinner at the same time.  My younger boy, however, would be on his Nintendo or tablet.  It will be at least an hour before he starts reading a book.

For now, I would be much more comfortable riding in Google's self driving car that runs on codes written by my DD than one written by my boy .


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## mirage (Jan 17, 2019)

Messi>CR7 said:


> I agree playing sports does take time away from other activities, but I really believe time management is more important......


Completely agree.  Effective time management creates options.  Allows the player to decide what and how much time to spend doing anything - school work or social interactions.

When one looks at the aggregate student athlete career path, my sense is that less than stellar career by social standard is probably right - stereotype that follows "dumb jocks",  Partly because so many sports have minor leagues/lower division professional levels that simply doesn't pay real living wages.  And many washes out and end up selling insurance, become real estate sales and so on (btw, I'm not degrading those professions.  Many in those professions make significant money and live quite comfortably).

I think its important to look at the body of work and patterns that any individual has established.  Example is if a player, as a young kid, struggled in school, always late, procrastinated just about everything all the way through high school, but a great athlete that gets recruited to college.  It would be unrealistic to expect that player to to major in something difficult, maintain GPA above 3.0 (because you need that to actually get an interview, much less a job with a good company), and all of sudden become a completely a different kind of a person.

The other end of the spectrum is a kid who got everything done, had lots of initiatives, maintained good grades and took challenging courses (e.g., AP) then gets recruited as a student athlete.  Chances are that this player is taking more challenging major (generalizing here...), still maintain good grades and manages to do it all.

So the point is, I've always believed that its really up to the individual.  Taking a good look at your own kids patterns objectively over the years can give you an insight into what kind of adults they'll be.   Its not to say that something clicks in a person in college or early adulthood that changes that person.  Clearly, it happens and some do make dramatic directional change - some for good and for worse.


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## Keepermom2 (Jan 19, 2019)

oh canada said:


> It's a harsh reality but kids who grow up spending all that time playing a sport (pick it) then play in college (especially D1 where the commitment is a full-time job) significantly limit their career paths.  As this article relays, insurance sales is one of the few:  http://www.realclearlife.com/sports/star-college-qbs-turn-to-selling-insurance-after-nfl-dreams-fizzle/
> 
> Other common jobs:
> Real estate Agent
> ...


I disagree except for the Harvard comment.  I used to be involved with recruiting college students when I worked at a Big 4 Accounting firm.  While generally speaking the first cut on resume review was the resumes with a 3.5 G.P.A.,  lower G.P.A.'s  were considered if the student was involved with sports teams or had a job.  If it was a choice between a 3.5 student that only focused on college and a 3.0 student that had a full time job or was committed to a team sport, with everything else being equal, we would probably choose the 3.0 student who showed the ability to work with a team (since everything we do is team based), and they obviously had to be committed to time management.  Below 3.0 they could still go to a smaller firm and then come back after gaining a track record.  For me personally, I would always support the 3.0 student in this situation because I found the higher the GPA the more my budgets were blown because they focused too much time on being perfect. I wanted someone with a proven record of time management.


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