# Girls Soccer Culture--Bullying Pandemic of Negative On-Field Comments & Clique



## MoSalah (Mar 31, 2022)

*Girls Soccer culture--Bulling Pandemic of Negative On-Field Comments & Clique:*

My daughter tried out and joined a new club around 3 years ago.  From day one of joining the new club--she has never been welcomed by multiple teammates on her side.  These teammates previously made up the core of a prior team that broke away and joined the new club/team.  These girls all go to the same high school--my kid, thank God, does not attend their school.  When my kid plays during games--some of these girls yell at her if she makes a mistake on the pitch...you are offsides, she falls or gets injured--Get up type comments.  This is some real nasty stuff.  She is shunned in practice.  Girls roll eyes at her.  The problem is that the kids doing this are often wrong--the offsides was not offsides, or the offsides occurred because X player took 3 dribbles to get the ball off her foot when the run was being made...when it should have been 1 touch into space...on, and on, and on.  And of course, none of any of the other girls make mistakes...never.  My kid does her best to brush this off and has had several telephone and phase to phase calls with some of these girls about this...this has helped, but it does not solve the problem.  She has talked to the coach--the coach sees entitled girls, and has made attempts to put some of this down, but it still goes on.  My daughter has chosen to stick it out--at least for now, as she ignores these girls and does not want to let their actions and immaturity impact her--she sees her time on this side as temporary...  Unfortunately, multiple girls have left the club and the team has such a bad reputation that other girls within a distance do not want anything to even do with the club--so we are losing out on potentially great players trying out for our side.  My kid has experienced none of this on her U17 National Team side...a total night and day experience in camp and on the pitch.  My kid practices with the boys side--the boys accept her as an equal--boys are positive...they play hard and they bang, but they have no hang-ups...

*My sense is that we have a Pandemic on the Girls Side of bullying...Here are some line-item ideas/random thoughts:*

--Is Soccer Culture Just a Mess--the term giving the "stick" exists in Soccer.  This does not exist in any other men's sport that I am aware of...negativity is that--negativity.  Whereas being positive during play, leads often to more good plays...  Why is this?  Too many low quality people in soccer?  Where does this culture come from?  Maybe I am just unaware, but do Girls Bully each other in all other sports?

--Mean girls and their cliques...insecure, anxious, trying to hold onto their playing position thru social pressure versus actually competing...  

--Coach/Club permitting this garbage--If it is accepted = it is coached.  

--Dumbass parents creating entitled children, and not knowing what sportsmanship is.  Parents on the side-lines can, surely, hear this banter and should be correcting their kids before or after games-are they actually that dumb to see how poorly this shows on their kid (how about college coaches hearing this garbage--how does the kid look as a scout;

--Leagues being poorly run and not being in front of this...Negativity needs to be taken out of them game.  US Soccer and the Leagues do nothing about this...there should be videos and parent, coach and club training about this.  

I grew-up playing multiple sports, but not soccer.  I have never have experienced this in any other sport. 

I think the solution is Better Parenting and Awareness by Parents, Coaches, Players and Clubs....it is such a shame that things are often this way, when they can be so much better.


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## Carlsbad7 (Mar 31, 2022)

MoSalah said:


> *Girls Soccer culture--Bulling Pandemic of Negative On-Field Comments & Clique:*
> 
> My daughter tried out and joined a new club around 3 years ago.  From day one of joining the new club--she has never been welcomed by multiple teammates on her side.  These teammates previously made up the core of a prior team that broke away and joined the new club/team.  These girls all go to the same high school--my kid, thank God, does not attend their school.  When my kid plays during games--some of these girls yell at her if she makes a mistake on the pitch...you are offsides, she falls or gets injured--Get up type comments.  This is some real nasty stuff.  She is shunned in practice.  Girls roll eyes at her.  The problem is that the kids doing this are often wrong--the offsides was not offsides, or the offsides occurred because X player took 3 dribbles to get the ball off her foot when the run was being made...when it should have been 1 touch into space...on, and on, and on.  And of course, none of any of the other girls make mistakes...never.  My kid does her best to brush this off and has had several telephone and phase to phase calls with some of these girls about this...this has helped, but it does not solve the problem.  She has talked to the coach--the coach sees entitled girls, and has made attempts to put some of this down, but it still goes on.  My daughter has chosen to stick it out--at least for now, as she ignores these girls and does not want to let their actions and immaturity impact her--she sees her time on this side as temporary...  Unfortunately, multiple girls have left the club and the team has such a bad reputation that other girls within a distance do not want anything to even do with the club--so we are losing out on potentially great players trying out for our side.  My kid has experienced none of this on her U17 National Team side...a total night and day experience in camp and on the pitch.  My kid practices with the boys side--the boys accept her as an equal--boys are positive...they play hard and they bang, but they have no hang-ups...
> 
> ...


Here's how you beat all the nastiness 
1. Get better than the players in the clique ( you'll become the coaches favorite + the nonsense will slow down)
2. Start guesting with other teams (the group will hear about it + get nervous + the nonsense will slow down)
3. Lead by example and be positive

Why did you go out of your way to get involved with this team in the first place.


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## BIGD (Mar 31, 2022)

MoSalah said:


> *Girls Soccer culture--Bulling Pandemic of Negative On-Field Comments & Clique:*
> 
> My daughter tried out and joined a new club around 3 years ago.  From day one of joining the new club--she has never been welcomed by multiple teammates on her side.  These teammates previously made up the core of a prior team that broke away and joined the new club/team.  These girls all go to the same high school--my kid, thank God, does not attend their school.  When my kid plays during games--some of these girls yell at her if she makes a mistake on the pitch...you are offsides, she falls or gets injured--Get up type comments.  This is some real nasty stuff.  She is shunned in practice.  Girls roll eyes at her.  The problem is that the kids doing this are often wrong--the offsides was not offsides, or the offsides occurred because X player took 3 dribbles to get the ball off her foot when the run was being made...when it should have been 1 touch into space...on, and on, and on.  And of course, none of any of the other girls make mistakes...never.  My kid does her best to brush this off and has had several telephone and phase to phase calls with some of these girls about this...this has helped, but it does not solve the problem.  She has talked to the coach--the coach sees entitled girls, and has made attempts to put some of this down, but it still goes on.  My daughter has chosen to stick it out--at least for now, as she ignores these girls and does not want to let their actions and immaturity impact her--she sees her time on this side as temporary...  Unfortunately, multiple girls have left the club and the team has such a bad reputation that other girls within a distance do not want anything to even do with the club--so we are losing out on potentially great players trying out for our side.  My kid has experienced none of this on her U17 National Team side...a total night and day experience in camp and on the pitch.  My kid practices with the boys side--the boys accept her as an equal--boys are positive...they play hard and they bang, but they have no hang-ups...
> 
> ...


I could have written almost the same thing about my son's team.  It starts around 13 and I have parent friends that have experienced the same thing in other boys sports.  It's not unique to girls or soccer.  My experience is that the parents are actually the problem.


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## timbuck (Mar 31, 2022)

Your kid is a National Team level player (what country?  US?) and her club teammates treat her like crap?  Damn.
Find a new team and burn that team to the ground on the way out.
(Not that being a top quality player should preclude one from being bullied.  Even if your kid can't walk and chew gum-  Her teammates should still treat her with respect).  Seems like the coach is either oblivious or doesn't care.

But the more competitive a team-  The more snark you are gonna get.  Girls that are on a D1 soccer track (or greater) want to play. They want to win. They want to dominate.


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## dad4 (Mar 31, 2022)

timbuck said:


> Your kid is a National Team level player (what country?  US?) and her club teammates treat her like crap?  Damn.
> Find a new team and burn that team to the ground on the way out.
> (Not that being a top quality player should preclude one from being bullied.  Even if your kid can't walk and chew gum-  Her teammates should still treat her with respect).  Seems like the coach is either oblivious or doesn't care.
> 
> *But the more competitive a team-  The more snark you are gonna get.*  Girls that are on a D1 soccer track (or greater) want to play. They want to win. They want to dominate.


My daughter’s experience is the opposite.  The lower level team had a couple of mean girl issues.  The higher level team does not.

Sample size of two, so don’t read too much into it.  But not every strong team has kids treating each other like trash.


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## timbuck (Mar 31, 2022)

Let me rephrase that -  The more diverse the talent level on a team- the more snark you are gonna get.


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## greekgirl (Mar 31, 2022)

My kiddo has guest played with a team where one player was the DIVA on the team and she hated it. My kid never was the person being bullied on that team but she heard it and was upset hearing it. In high school soccer she came across the bullying too. In the end my kiddo put her head down and got to work. None of those girls in high school will be playing collegiate soccer but my determined kiddo will be.
It's a real shame that as women/girls we can't find more ways to build each other up, instead of tearing each other down. I think that is a society-wide issue. kind of like me me me all the time instead of thinking of others.


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## Anon9 (Mar 31, 2022)

dad4 said:


> My daughter’s experience is the opposite.  The lower level team had a couple of mean girl issues.  The higher level team does not.
> 
> Sample size of two, so don’t read too much into it.  But not every strong team has kids treating each other like trash.


Get back to us in your second or third year of ECNL.


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## dad4 (Mar 31, 2022)

Anon9 said:


> Get back to us in your second or third year of ECNL.


Not us.   It will be pizza parties and juice boxes until they turn 18.

Reality can kick me upside the head when the time comes, but you don't get to do it early.  Until then, sunshine and unicorns!


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## paytoplay (Mar 31, 2022)

What a sh!t team and coach. Join the competition and strive to beat these mfers. Life’s too short to put up with this kind of environment, especially for children. Demand more, everyone demand more. If we wimp out, we teach the girls to do the same.


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## pokergod (Mar 31, 2022)

paytoplay said:


> What a sh!t team and coach. Join the competition and strive to beat these mfers. Life’s too short to put up with this kind of environment, especially for children. Demand more, everyone demand more. If we wimp out, we teach the girls to do the same.


Sounds like a bad coach allowing this to happen.  A good coach created an environment where that type of activity is not allowed from the best or worst player.  That is all on the coach.


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## foreveryoung (Mar 31, 2022)

pokergod said:


> Sounds like a bad coach allowing this to happen.  A good coach created an environment where that type of activity is not allowed from the best or worst player.  That is all on the coach.


Coaches are exacerbating it by creating hunger games style competition for playing time.  The players know they are constantly being compared to their teammates and have to fight to keep their position/playing time.  That doesn't exactly make for great relationships.  Add in parents fueling the fire by bashing their teammates and the environment is prime for these issues.   YNT camp call ups don't help when the players return and are suddenly too good for their team.  MLS Next has had several issues with racial slurs being used in games by players.


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## Unmeggable (Apr 1, 2022)

greekgirl said:


> It's a real shame that as women/girls we can't find more ways to build each other up, instead of tearing each other down. I think that is a society-wide issue. kind of like me me me all the time instead of thinking of others.


Agree completely! I've been working with my daughter to build her teammates up and always say positive things to them. I think there's a huge issue with parents and the kids are learning from some of the parents ways. My DD is only 9 and I've already come across 2 different moms that trash talk my DD to other parents. Another mom told me to get used to it because my DD is talented and many parents and players will be talking her down. I grew up playing and it was nothing like this.


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## crush (Apr 1, 2022)

Unmeggable said:


> Agree completely! I've been working with my daughter to build her teammates up and always say positive things to them. I think there's a huge issue with parents and the kids are learning from some of the parents ways. My DD is only 9 and I've already come across 2 different moms that trash talk my DD to other parents. Another mom told me to get used to it because my DD is talented and many parents and players will be talking her down. I grew up playing and it was nothing like this.


One of the great youth coaches taught me the most about the back stabbing that will go on in youth soccer, especially as your kids reaches their teen years.  The customers all want one thing:  A college deal for kiddo(s).  I just wanted fair and honest soccer competition for the top players and no college deals.  I'm serious.  The pressure to get a deal is insane and with the last two years, the deals are not there and so the dealer offers some D2 school in the cold mountains back East.  The stories I could tell are insane and not worth repeating.  Good luck and whatever you do, watch what you say to parents.  I would just sit at the end and keep your mouth shut.


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## Carlsbad7 (Apr 1, 2022)

Unmeggable said:


> Agree completely! I've been working with my daughter to build her teammates up and always say positive things to them. I think there's a huge issue with parents and the kids are learning from some of the parents ways. My DD is only 9 and I've already come across 2 different moms that trash talk my DD to other parents. Another mom told me to get used to it because my DD is talented and many parents and players will be talking her down. I grew up playing and it was nothing like this.


Talent will always rise to the top.

Unfortunately parents will try to influence their kid into a starting position. I've seen it all... private's with the coach where parents are literally handing cash to the coach with the expectation their kid gets minutes or a specific position. Being the team mom/dad so a parent can get info before the rest of the team. Parents telling their kid not to pass to certain players. Parents cliquing up to try and exclude others. I've even heard of parents being "intimate" with coaches to get what they want.

Most parents of olders know exactly what I'm talking about. This is why when you go to an olders game parents generally side 5 feet apart + rarely talk to each other. Unfortunately with youngers you still have to deal with the nonsense.

Maybe it's just a California thing that parents/players act this way. Not really sure.


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## crush (Apr 1, 2022)

Carlsbad7 said:


> Talent will always rise to the top.
> 
> Unfortunately parents will try to influence their kid into a starting position. I've seen it all... private's with the coach where parents are literally handing cash to the coach with the expectation their kid gets minutes or a specific position. Being the team mom/dad so a parent can get info before the rest of the team. Parents telling their kid not to pass to certain players. Parents cliquing up to try and exclude others. I've even heard of parents being "intimate" with coaches to get what they want.
> 
> ...


A few years ago I was sitting in my truck waiting for my kid at Great Park.  I was parked between a BMW and a Mercedes.  Two dads are walking back with coach and one dad is chatting it up about how to improve the other boy's soccer skills.  The coach was selling his private training to one of the dads and other dad was saying how it's improved his kids play and his play time.  It takes pay to play to another level.  After the chit and chat, the one dad who was selling the other dad yelled out to the coach, "don;t forget poker night this Friday."


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## Carlsbad7 (Apr 1, 2022)

crush said:


> A few years ago I was sitting in my truck waiting for my kid at Great Park.  I was parked between a BMW and a Mercedes.  Two dads are walking back with coach and one dad is chatting it up about how to improve the other boy's soccer skills.  The coach was selling his private training to one of the dads and other dad was saying how it's improved his kids play and his play time.  It takes pay to play to another level.  After the chit and chat, the one dad who was selling the other dad yelled out to the coach, "don't forget poker night this Friday."


Fairly certain I know the Dads you're talking about.


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## Surf Zombie (Apr 1, 2022)

When my DD was U-little (U10-U12) she played on a very competitive team. One of the girls, who was probably the best player I had seen at that age, was just a little monster. Her mother was even worse. Couple kids left the team because they couldn’t deal with her. Coaches did nothing to curb her behavior because of her talent.
My kid just kept her head down and kept grinding, Eventually she couldn’t take the girl or her followers any more and the team broke into two distinct cliques. I told my DD that the best way to deal with her was to go at her as hard as possible in practice. She did and eventually the tables turned and the girl complained to the coaches about my kid being “too physical with her.” I didn’t want to send my kid to practice every day looking for a confrontation, but in hindsight it worked out perfectly.
We moved to an ECNL team at another club for U13 and never looked back. The other girl and her mother eventually had a falling out with the coach and left the club and I’ve heard that her new situation also soured and the girl is again looking for another team. Club soccer is a small world and a bad attitude/reputation will follow you around.


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## espola (Apr 1, 2022)

Surf Zombie said:


> When my DD was U-little (U10-U12) she played on a very competitive team. One of the girls, who was probably the best player I had seen at that age, was just a little monster. Her mother was even worse. Couple kids left the team because they couldn’t deal with her. Coaches did nothing to curb her behavior because of her talent.
> My kid just kept her head down and kept grinding, Eventually she couldn’t take the girl or her followers any more and the team broke into two distinct cliques. I told my DD that the best way to deal with her was to go at her as hard as possible in practice. She did and eventually the tables turned and the girl complained to the coaches about my kid being “too physical with her.” I didn’t want to send my kid to practice every day looking for a confrontation, but in hindsight it worked out perfectly.
> We moved to an ECNL team at another club for U13 and never looked back. The other girl and her mother eventually had a falling out with the coach and left the club and I’ve heard that her new situation also soured and the girl is again looking for another team. Club soccer is a small world and a bad attitude/reputation will follow you around.


<deleted a long screed supporting playing hard physical defense>


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## crush (Apr 1, 2022)

Surf Zombie said:


> When my DD was U-little (U10-U12) she played on a very competitive team. One of the girls, who was probably the best player I had seen at that age, was just a little monster. Her mother was even worse. Couple kids left the team because they couldn’t deal with her. Coaches did nothing to curb her behavior because of her talent.
> My kid just kept her head down and kept grinding, Eventually she couldn’t take the girl or her followers any more and the team broke into two distinct cliques. I told my DD that the best way to deal with her was to go at her as hard as possible in practice. She did and eventually the tables turned and the girl complained to the coaches about my kid being “too physical with her.” I didn’t want to send my kid to practice every day looking for a confrontation, but in hindsight it worked out perfectly.
> We moved to an ECNL team at another club for U13 and never looked back. The other girl and her mother eventually had a falling out with the coach and left the club and I’ve heard that her new situation also soured and the girl is again looking for another team. Club soccer is a small world and a bad attitude/reputation will follow you around.


My wife has only yelled at one player in all her years watching club.  The top team had a dirty little player ((parents that lie and cheat)) who kicked one of our players when the ref was not looking in the back of the leg.  Dirty player laughed it off and my wife told her that was dirty and told the ref.  It was awful.  The same girl pulled that stunt again and this time she got caught and red carded.  I told my dd to score goals and not retaliate and that's what she did.  It was epic and we won it all


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## SoccerFan4Life (Apr 5, 2022)

Our girls team has been together for 4 years  and we get along great. Plenty of respect among parents and players. Lots  of fun with the dads playing golf and going out for drinks. Now we just need to start winning  and we have an ideal youth soccer experience.


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## Carlsbad7 (Apr 5, 2022)

SoccerFan4Life said:


> Our girls team has been together for 4 years  and we get along great. Plenty of respect among parents and players. Lots  of fun with the dads playing golf and going out for drinks. Now we just need to start winning  and we have an ideal youth soccer experience.


I'm with you 1000% + been on A teams and B teams.

A teams always have a few crazies that make things aweful for everyone else. 

B teams always seem to have the players/ parents that are awesome + happy just playing.


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## crush (Apr 5, 2022)

Carlsbad7 said:


> I'm with you 1000% + been on A teams and B teams.
> 
> A teams always have a few crazies that make things aweful for everyone else.
> 
> B teams always seem to have the players/ parents that are awesome + happy just playing.


From my experience being on the underdog teams ((B Team)) was by far the best of times.  I didnt get to play golf but I did drink a few with the fellas. The A team is stressful, especially when adults are monitoring your kid on social media, checking to see if they have a boyfriend and always making sure your kid has their homework or at least a book to read on the road.  A teams are A teams for a reason, because they strive for excellence and hard work and are focused 100% on soccer, soccer, soccer and full time soccer, 4.2+ GPA is standard and high SAT is expected.  Anything less you are a B team player.  I believe only 5% or 10% of the females can actually hang with this kind of pressure.  It's hard to stay on the A Team, moo!


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## GoldenGate (Apr 5, 2022)

MoSalah said:


> *Girls Soccer culture--Bulling Pandemic of Negative On-Field Comments & Clique:*
> 
> My daughter tried out and joined a new club around 3 years ago.  From day one of joining the new club--she has never been welcomed by multiple teammates on her side.  These teammates previously made up the core of a prior team that broke away and joined the new club/team.  These girls all go to the same high school--my kid, thank God, does not attend their school.  When my kid plays during games--some of these girls yell at her if she makes a mistake on the pitch...you are offsides, she falls or gets injured--Get up type comments.  This is some real nasty stuff.  She is shunned in practice.  Girls roll eyes at her.  The problem is that the kids doing this are often wrong--the offsides was not offsides, or the offsides occurred because X player took 3 dribbles to get the ball off her foot when the run was being made...when it should have been 1 touch into space...on, and on, and on.  And of course, none of any of the other girls make mistakes...never.  My kid does her best to brush this off and has had several telephone and phase to phase calls with some of these girls about this...this has helped, but it does not solve the problem.  She has talked to the coach--the coach sees entitled girls, and has made attempts to put some of this down, but it still goes on.  My daughter has chosen to stick it out--at least for now, as she ignores these girls and does not want to let their actions and immaturity impact her--she sees her time on this side as temporary...  Unfortunately, multiple girls have left the club and the team has such a bad reputation that other girls within a distance do not want anything to even do with the club--so we are losing out on potentially great players trying out for our side.  My kid has experienced none of this on her U17 National Team side...a total night and day experience in camp and on the pitch.  My kid practices with the boys side--the boys accept her as an equal--boys are positive...they play hard and they bang, but they have no hang-ups...
> 
> ...


You seem to lack self awareness.  You and your kid are complaining here and to the coach that: 

1. you and your daughter know more about soccer than her teammates ("the kids doing this are often wrong--the offsides was not offsides, or the offsides occurred because X player took 3 dribbles to get the ball off her foot when the run was being made...when it should have been 1 touch into space...on, and on, and on.")

2. her teammates' school isn't good enough for your kid ("thank god, does not attend there") 

3. your daughter is too good a player for them anyway ("My kid has experienced none of this on her U17 National Team side...a total night and day experience in camp and on the pitch.  My kid practices with the boys side--the boys accept her as an equal--boys are positive...they play hard and they bang, but they have no hang-ups...") and ("my daughter has chosen to stick it out, for now")

4. the parents of her teammates are dumbasses ("Dumbass parents creating entitled children, and not knowing what sportsmanship is.")

5. the entire league is crap ("Leagues being poorly run and not being in front of this.")

It is no wonder you and your kid do not appear welcome on the team given your attitude.  You are following the exact same path as crush, and look where it got him and his kid.  Do you even see the irony of posting your diatribe and then complaining at the end of it about too much negativity in the game.  The problem is not US Soccer.  The problem is not the leagues.  The problem is you.


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## MicPaPa (Apr 5, 2022)

greekgirl said:


> It's a real shame that as women/girls we can't find more ways to build each other up, instead of tearing each other down. I think that is a society-wide issue. kind of like me me me all the time instead of thinking of others.


Well, I'm sure males pretending to be females and taking their qualifying spots and trophies, surely misses the mark of building them up.


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## SoccerFan4Life (Apr 5, 2022)

GoldenGate said:


> You seem to lack self awareness.  You and your kid are complaining here and to the coach that:
> 
> 1. you and your daughter know more about soccer than her teammates ("the kids doing this are often wrong--the offsides was not offsides, or the offsides occurred because X player took 3 dribbles to get the ball off her foot when the run was being made...when it should have been 1 touch into space...on, and on, and on.")
> 
> ...


I dont know the other parent's situation but  you cannot just think this doesnt happen at all.   

I can tell you that my little girl experienced some of the above when she was only.....6 years old.  In Orange County there's plenty of parents/players that will crush those players that make mistakes at all levels. I've seen little girls get nasty when one of their teamates makes a mistake.  I had to take my daughter away from a place where we had 2 girls that kept bullying a few others and the coach did nothing about it.  Here's an example, practice is about to start, and these 7 year old little girls would hit my daughter's ball downhill (Steep hill)  so she had to go chase it and be late for the lineup with the coach. The coach would get mad because she was not ready or tired after running up that hill.    Making fun of my daughter's dyslexic mistakes on the field and making fun of one of the other players because she was 1 year younger.      

Recently I met a parent that has a 2003 player on a discovery team and they are looking at leaving because the majority of the team doesnt socialize with the 3 of the newer players.    This happens all the time!       Parents have to be responsible to show our kids when to be competitive and when to be friendly with others.  Bottom line, we are building kids for their future in both soccer and life.      Heck, speaking about this, I just heard  on a soccer podcast today that Chicharito has not been invited to the Mexican National team because he is an ahole with most of the players and coaches!!!


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## GoldenGate (Apr 5, 2022)

SoccerFan4Life said:


> I dont know the other parent's situation but  you cannot just think this doesnt happen at all.
> 
> I can tell you that my little girl experienced some of the above when she was only.....6 years old.  In Orange County there's plenty of parents/players that will crush those players that make mistakes at all levels. I've seen little girls get nasty when one of their teamates makes a mistake.  I had to take my daughter away from a place where we had 2 girls that kept bullying a few others and the coach did nothing about it.  Here's an example, practice is about to start, and these 7 year old little girls would hit my daughter's ball downhill (Steep hill)  so she had to go chase it and be late for the lineup with the coach. The coach would get mad because she was not ready or tired after running up that hill.    Making fun of my daughter's dyslexic mistakes on the field and making fun of one of the other players because she was 1 year younger.
> 
> Recently I met a parent that has a 2003 player on a discovery team and they are looking at leaving because the majority of the team doesnt socialize with the 3 of the newer players.    This happens all the time!       Parents have to be responsible to show our kids when to be competitive and when to be friendly with others.  Bottom line, we are building kids for their future in both soccer and life.      Heck, speaking about this, I just heard  on a soccer podcast today that Chicharito has not been invited to the Mexican National team because he is an ahole with most of the players and coaches!!!


That is not what I'm talking about here.  This dad has called her teammates' parents dumbasses, trashed their HS, blamed US Soccer and youth leagues for his daughter's local team problem, claimed he knows more than everyone around him how soccer is played, made sure to tell everyone how his daughter is too good for them anyway, and labeled his daughter's inability to get along with her teammates a "pandemic".  It is patently obvious who the problem is.


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## Woodwork (Apr 5, 2022)

GoldenGate said:


> You seem to lack self awareness.  You and your kid are complaining here and to the coach that:
> 
> 1. you and your daughter know more about soccer than her teammates ("the kids doing this are often wrong--the offsides was not offsides, or the offsides occurred because X player took 3 dribbles to get the ball off her foot when the run was being made...when it should have been 1 touch into space...on, and on, and on.")
> 
> ...


1.  Maybe him and his daughter know more about soccer than her teammates.  Why does that make them a problem?  They aren't the ones yelling at other players on the field, if you believe the author.
2.  He was talking about not attending a school where she would be bullied.
3.  How do you know she isn't too good for the team?  Regardless, he is just drawing a comparison to suggest that bullying is unrelated to to the quality of the team, and he only has the one point of comparison.  Nothing wrong with that.
4.  It's a little late now, but yes the parents probably have some responsibility for teaching kids sportsmanship.  I don't think the author meant literally stupid, but more of a "darn parents."  IQ has little to do with it.
5.  Bullying is a pandemic and schools get out in front of it.  Seems like a valid point that a well-run league may be in front of it.  Clubs and coaches, too.

Everyone speaks from their own experiences, but maybe we could be open to the idea that someone else has a valid experience that is different than our own.


----------



## MicPaPa (Apr 5, 2022)

GoldenGate said:


> That is not what I'm talking about here.  This dad has called her teammates' parents dumbasses, trashed their HS, blamed US Soccer and youth leagues for his daughter's local team problem, claimed he knows more than everyone around him how soccer is played, made sure to tell everyone how his daughter is too good for them anyway, and labeled his daughter's inability to get along with her teammates a "pandemic".  It is patently obvious who the problem is.


Imagine a life involving this level of bitterness, anger, and word count all over a faceless persons opinion and personal experience.

Not sure if your weather up north is as awesome as it is in SoCal, but if so, go take a walk, remove your three masks, and get some fresh air.


----------



## Woodwork (Apr 5, 2022)

SoccerFan4Life said:


> I dont know the other parent's situation but  you cannot just think this doesnt happen at all.
> 
> I can tell you that my little girl experienced some of the above when she was only.....6 years old.  In Orange County there's plenty of parents/players that will crush those players that make mistakes at all levels. I've seen little girls get nasty when one of their teamates makes a mistake.  I had to take my daughter away from a place where we had 2 girls that kept bullying a few others and the coach did nothing about it.  Here's an example, practice is about to start, and these 7 year old little girls would hit my daughter's ball downhill (Steep hill)  so she had to go chase it and be late for the lineup with the coach. The coach would get mad because she was not ready or tired after running up that hill.    Making fun of my daughter's dyslexic mistakes on the field and making fun of one of the other players because she was 1 year younger.
> 
> Recently I met a parent that has a 2003 player on a discovery team and they are looking at leaving because the majority of the team doesnt socialize with the 3 of the newer players.    This happens all the time!       Parents have to be responsible to show our kids when to be competitive and when to be friendly with others.  Bottom line, we are building kids for their future in both soccer and life.      Heck, speaking about this, I just heard  on a soccer podcast today that Chicharito has not been invited to the Mexican National team because he is an ahole with most of the players and coaches!!!


Chicharito has done a 180 degree attitude change since joining the LA Galaxy.  He is a great locker room and field presence for his team.  What they are looking for is an apology for something he did a while back.


----------



## Emma (Apr 5, 2022)

Carlsbad7 said:


> I'm with you 1000% + been on A teams and B teams.
> 
> A teams always have a few crazies that make things aweful for everyone else.
> 
> B teams always seem to have the players/ parents that are awesome + happy just playing.


We had some crazy parents on our B teams and A teams.  Doesn't matter what level, crazy is everywhere.   We've only found 1 great team.  It's rare so if you have it, cherish it and don't let it go.   The grass is not greener over at the "higher level" team.


----------



## espola (Apr 5, 2022)

Emma said:


> We had some crazy parents on our B teams and A teams.  Doesn't matter what level, crazy is everywhere.   We've only found 1 great team.  It's rare so if you have it, cherish it and don't let it go.   The grass is not greener over at the "higher level" team.


We had one parent on one of the boys' teams that would sit a few yards back of the coach and make critical comments of the coach throughout the game, not really directed at the coach, but loud enough for him to hear, especially when his kid was subbed out.  Years later I took a job at a place where that parent had been an employee some time before.  Everyone said he was brilliant, with advanced degrees appropriate to the work we were doing, but he didn't get along with anyone.  Eventually, the company let him go after which they traded lawsuits.


----------



## GoldenGate (Apr 6, 2022)

MicPaPa said:


> Imagine a life involving this level of bitterness, anger, and word count all over a faceless persons opinion and personal experience.
> 
> Not sure if your weather up north is as awesome as it is in SoCal, but if so, go take a walk, remove your three masks, and get some fresh air.


Yes, you should really talk to MoSalah.  He seems very bitter and angry about a kiddie sport.  Like crush, he's going to miss what could have been a great experience because of self-pity.


----------



## MicPaPa (Apr 6, 2022)

GoldenGate said:


> Yes, you should really talk to MoSalah.  *He* seems very bitter and angry about a kiddie sport.  Like crush, *he's* going to miss what could have been a great experience because of self-pity.


No need to talk to him, I don't become verklempt over others personal experiences and opinions - in fact I respect them.

BTW, there you go again using *"he" *without first checking in with folks (your goofy rule not mine). When will you learn, it is hard to keep things straight when flapping in the wind.


----------



## GoldenGate (Apr 6, 2022)

Woodwork said:


> 1.  Maybe him and his daughter know more about soccer than her teammates.  Why does that make them a problem?  They aren't the ones yelling at other players on the field, if you believe the author.
> 2.  He was talking about not attending a school where she would be bullied.
> 3.  How do you know she isn't too good for the team?  Regardless, he is just drawing a comparison to suggest that bullying is unrelated to to the quality of the team, and he only has the one point of comparison.  Nothing wrong with that.
> 4.  It's a little late now, but yes the parents probably have some responsibility for teaching kids sportsmanship.  I don't think the author meant literally stupid, but more of a "darn parents."  IQ has little to do with it.
> ...


There is no bullying "pandemic" in girls elite soccer.  That is the most ridiculous snowflaky self-pitying comment I have heard this side of crush. Without having to meet anyone, I can tell you with absolute certainty that he and his daughter are the real problem.  I've seen this a thousand times. When the majority of kids on the kiddie soccer team hate you, the problem is never the majority of the kids.  It is the dad who routinely trashes the other kids for not knowing what they're doing and being immature, and calls their parents dumbasses.  It's the one with the dad who trashes the coach, club, league, U.S. Soccer and everyone else's parents for not doing their job because he thinks his daughter wasn't really offsides that one time or, if she was, it was because a teammate once dribbled three times before making the through ball instead of sending it one touch. Seriously, the idea that kids are bullying his daughter by not passing her the ball more quickly is some of the most petty b.s. I have ever heard. It sounds like he is a snowflake who cannot handle people being critical of his daughter, and who is upset when anyone other than his daughter has the ball.

I can also tell you that, to the extent his daughter is shunned in practice (rather than that just being his gross over-reactions anytime someone is critical of his daughter), it is because he is a jerk and she continually rats them out to the coach over b.s.  In fact, admitting that she's the one who is constantly confronting her teammates "phase to phase" tells you exactly what you need to know about who's the real bully.  Otherwise, if she were actually a U17 national team player who had been bullied for three years as he claims, she would have been long gone.


----------



## GoldenGate (Apr 6, 2022)

MicPaPa said:


> No need to talk to him, I don't become verklempt over others personal experiences and opinions - in fact I respect them.
> 
> BTW, there you go again using *"he" *without first checking in with folks (your goofy rule not mine). When will you learn it is hard to keep things straight, when flapping in the wind?


So now you respect Lia Thomas' experiences and opinions?


----------



## MicPaPa (Apr 6, 2022)

GoldenGate said:


> So now you respect Lia Thomas' experiences and opinions?


I respect his opinions and experiences, as I respect everyone's freedom to have and express them - it is the beauty of our country. You make a giant leap from respect to support or believe in - although, not surprising, as you seem to struggle with basic adult concepts.


----------



## Woodwork (Apr 6, 2022)

MicPaPa said:


> Imagine a life involving this level of bitterness, anger, and word count all over a faceless persons opinion and personal experience.
> 
> Not sure if your weather up north is as awesome as it is in SoCal, but if so, go take a walk, remove your three masks, and get some fresh air.





GoldenGate said:


> There is no bullying "pandemic" in girls elite soccer.  That is the most ridiculous snowflaky self-pitying comment I have heard this side of crush. Without having to meet anyone, I can tell you with absolute certainty that he and his daughter are the real problem.  I've seen this a thousand times. When the majority of kids on the kiddie soccer team hate you, the problem is never the majority of the kids.  It is the dad who routinely trashes the other kids for not knowing what they're doing and being immature, and calls their parents dumbasses.  It's the one with the dad who trashes the coach, club, league, U.S. Soccer and everyone else's parents for not doing their job because he thinks his daughter wasn't really offsides that one time or, if she was, it was because a teammate once dribbled three times before making the through ball instead of sending it one touch. Seriously, the idea that kids are bullying his daughter by not passing her the ball more quickly is some of the most petty b.s. I have ever heard. It sounds like he is a snowflake who cannot handle people being critical of his daughter, and who is upset when anyone other than his daughter has the ball.
> 
> I can also tell you that, to the extent his daughter is shunned in practice (rather than that just being his gross over-reactions anytime someone is critical of his daughter), it is because he is a jerk and she continually rats them out to the coach over b.s.  In fact, admitting that she's the one who is constantly confronting her teammates "phase to phase" tells you exactly what you need to know about who's the real bully.  Otherwise, if she were actually a U17 national team player who had been bullied for three years as he claims, she would have been long gone.


You could be right.  You could be wrong.  Just no way you could really know.  To each their own but I try to give people the benefit of the doubt when they look for advice on this board instead of call them liars.

I find it is a waste of time arguing with someone whose position starts with mischaracterizing your statements.  Someone here assumed you were a triple-masker just because you use Golden Gate as a moniker. Weird how some assume that just because you don't agree with someone on soccer that they must be from the opposite end of the political spectrum.

But obviously conservatives don't get triggered and overreact to things the same way liberals do, right?


----------



## Woodwork (Apr 6, 2022)

MoSalah said:


> *Girls Soccer culture--Bulling Pandemic of Negative On-Field Comments & Clique:*
> 
> My daughter tried out and joined a new club around 3 years ago.  From day one of joining the new club--she has never been welcomed by multiple teammates on her side.  These teammates previously made up the core of a prior team that broke away and joined the new club/team.  These girls all go to the same high school--my kid, thank God, does not attend their school.  When my kid plays during games--some of these girls yell at her if she makes a mistake on the pitch...you are offsides, she falls or gets injured--Get up type comments.  This is some real nasty stuff.  She is shunned in practice.  Girls roll eyes at her.  The problem is that the kids doing this are often wrong--the offsides was not offsides, or the offsides occurred because X player took 3 dribbles to get the ball off her foot when the run was being made...when it should have been 1 touch into space...on, and on, and on.  And of course, none of any of the other girls make mistakes...never.  My kid does her best to brush this off and has had several telephone and phase to phase calls with some of these girls about this...this has helped, but it does not solve the problem.  She has talked to the coach--the coach sees entitled girls, and has made attempts to put some of this down, but it still goes on.  My daughter has chosen to stick it out--at least for now, as she ignores these girls and does not want to let their actions and immaturity impact her--she sees her time on this side as temporary...  Unfortunately, multiple girls have left the club and the team has such a bad reputation that other girls within a distance do not want anything to even do with the club--so we are losing out on potentially great players trying out for our side.  My kid has experienced none of this on her U17 National Team side...a total night and day experience in camp and on the pitch.  My kid practices with the boys side--the boys accept her as an equal--boys are positive...they play hard and they bang, but they have no hang-ups...
> 
> ...


To respond to your ultimate proposition, I do think sportsmanship needs to be taught at the younger ages and how to be a good teammate is part of that. It needs to be implemented by a coach, though, and coaches vary. 

By the time you get to 16/17 years old, I think it is too late.  They are mostly who they are going to be personality-wise.  If they don't know a better way to express themselves or can't contain emotions, good luck with that.  At that age, coaches are taking money first and as a distant second trying to win games and will only get involved to the extent it doesn't endanger either of those things.  They aren't looking to change the personalities of teenagers on their team and it is probably best if you don't ask or hope for that at all.

I would be more wary of this at the younger ages when kids haven't developed ways to cope with persistent negativity.  It sounds like your kid is at an age where she is taking this as a learning experience about how to deal with toxic people.  Good on her.


----------



## dad4 (Apr 6, 2022)

Woodwork said:


> To respond to your ultimate proposition, I do think sportsmanship needs to be taught at the younger ages and how to be a good teammate is part of that. It needs to be implemented by a coach, though, and coaches vary.
> 
> By the time you get to 16/17 years old, I think it is too late.  They are mostly who they are going to be personality-wise.  If they don't know a better way to express themselves or can't contain emotions, good luck with that.  At that age, coaches are taking money first and as a distant second trying to win games and will only get involved to the extent it doesn't endanger either of those things.  They aren't looking to change the personalities of teenagers on their team and it is probably best if you don't ask or hope for that at all.
> 
> I would be more wary of this at the younger ages when kids haven't developed ways to cope with persistent negativity.  It sounds like your kid is at an age where she is taking this as a learning experience about how to deal with toxic people.  Good on her.


Hanging around a toxic environment cuts both ways.  You learn how to deal with toxic people, and you learn how to be toxic yourself.  

If a team really is full of bad behavior, leave.  There are other teams out there.


----------



## Woodwork (Apr 6, 2022)

dad4 said:


> Hanging around a toxic environment cuts both ways.  You learn how to deal with toxic people, and you learn how to be toxic yourself.
> 
> If a team really is full of bad behavior, leave.  There are other teams out there.


I agree for the most part.  I would agree more if the kid was 12 or 13 or younger.  Personally, I was nearly on my own at 17 years old and I don't think my core personality was going to be changed by some kids on a sports team.  It may vary depending on the kid.


----------



## MicPaPa (Apr 6, 2022)

Woodwork said:


> You could be right.  You could be wrong.  Just no way you could really know.  To each their own but I try to give people the benefit of the doubt when they look for advice on this board instead of call them liars.
> 
> I find it is a waste of time arguing with someone whose position starts with mischaracterizing your statements.  Someone here assumed you were a triple-masker just because you use Golden Gate as a moniker. Weird how some assume that just because you don't agree with someone on soccer that they must be from the opposite end of the political spectrum.
> 
> But obviously conservatives don't get triggered and overreact to things the same way liberals do, right?


Read your post again - the left always accuse others of what they themselves are doing - it's called projection.

Also, three masks is an accurate characterization, but I'm sure he appreciates the reach-a-round.


----------



## Yousername (Apr 7, 2022)

Am I the only one who sees the irony in this thread? The thread is about bullying culture in soccer, and so far, I’ve seen someone call someone else a liar, someone bully someone for wearing masks, someone getting bullied for not wearing mask, and bullying of trans kids. And people are scratching their heads wondering why kids are bullying each other??? Can we all just admit we’re all a bit of an asshole inside, and that we all believe that our thoughts, feelings and opinions are just a bit more superior tha the next guy? So spewing it all on here isn’t going to do a damn lick of good in changing someone else’s mind.
And I’m sure as soon as I hit send, the vitriol will start. Cuz people just can’t help themselves.


----------



## crush (Apr 7, 2022)

Yousername said:


> Am I the only one who sees the irony in this thread? The thread is about bullying culture in soccer, and so far, I’ve seen someone call someone else a liar, someone bully someone for wearing masks, someone getting bullied for not wearing mask, and bullying of trans kids. And people are scratching their heads wondering why kids are bullying each other??? Can we all just admit we’re all a bit of an asshole inside, and that we all believe that our thoughts, feelings and opinions are just a bit more superior tha the next guy? So spewing it all on here isn’t going to do a damn lick of good in changing someone else’s mind.
> And I’m sure as soon as I hit send, the vitriol will start. Cuz people just can’t help themselves.


Amen to that.  I was bullied hard core by my teachers and some fellow students because I stuttered as child.  I was laughed at and told I was a big dummy because i could't give the right answer verbally, although I knew my answers were correct.  I knew the right answer but they stared at me as I tried to get the words out.  Teachers actually laughed at me as well which only pissed me off.  Also, when the bully is Doc or a coach or a teacher or a parent, well it sucks!!!  I see how I bullied some folks here at the forum and I am 100% sorry for that.  I am changing how I talk to folks now.  I have a friend who was bullied at work and forced to do this and that or get fired!!!  Lot's of bullies and it's time we all start loving each other


----------



## met61 (Apr 7, 2022)

Yousername said:


> Am I the only one who sees the irony in this thread? The thread is about bullying culture in soccer, and so far, I’ve seen someone call someone else a liar, someone bully someone for wearing masks, someone getting bullied for not wearing mask, and bullying of trans kids. And people are scratching their heads wondering why kids are bullying each other??? Can we all just admit we’re all a bit of an asshole inside, and that we all believe that our thoughts, feelings and opinions are just a bit more superior tha the next guy? So spewing it all on here isn’t going to do a damn lick of good in changing someone else’s mind.
> And I’m sure as soon as I hit send, the vitriol will start. Cuz people just can’t help themselves.


...respect of the Truth precedes respect of others...and to the contrary.


----------



## Emma (Apr 7, 2022)

MoSalah said:


> *Girls Soccer culture--Bulling Pandemic of Negative On-Field Comments & Clique:*


There are definitely bullying and cliques out there but the majority really are just misinterpretations of situations.  I'm not redefining what you are stating, but just throwing out thoughts based on our experience.

What we've seen work for some - getting the kids/parents together to discuss these issues and specific situations, it may take a few meetings.   Sometimes the perceived bullies/cliques think they are doing the right thing by communicating or defending themselves.

Coaches /leagues are not around the kids enough to see these issues at u17.  They generally leave the parenting to parents because it's hard to know why girls say what they say without further context.  Learning to work things out amongst themselves is an important process at this age. 

In a few rare cases, you do get girls who are very unkind and in those cases, you just have to move on to another team or stay and focus on the better half of the team.


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## Carlsbad7 (Apr 7, 2022)

Emma said:


> There are definitely bullying and cliques out there but the majority really are just misinterpretations of situations.  I'm not redefining what you are stating, but just throwing out thoughts based on our experience.
> 
> What we've seen work for some - getting the kids/parents together to discuss these issues and specific situations, it may take a few meetings.   Sometimes the perceived bullies/cliques think they are doing the right thing by communicating or defending themselves.
> 
> ...


I like the way you think. Unfortunately some players/parents are just aholes + only care about themselves or their kid.

It won't matter what you say + getting parents together to chat won't make a difference.

If you move on they'll just cause problems for the next in line. If they move on they'll just create problems on their new team.

The worst is when the kid is really nice but the parent is a knob.


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## BIGD (Apr 7, 2022)

Yousername said:


> And people are scratching their heads wondering why kids are bullying each other???


As I said in my earlier comment, my experience is that the parents are actually the problem.


----------



## Woodwork (Apr 7, 2022)

Yousername said:


> Am I the only one who sees the irony in this thread? The thread is about bullying culture in soccer, and so far, I’ve seen someone call someone else a liar, someone bully someone for wearing masks, someone getting bullied for not wearing mask, and bullying of trans kids. And people are scratching their heads wondering why kids are bullying each other??? Can we all just admit we’re all a bit of an asshole inside, and that we all believe that our thoughts, feelings and opinions are just a bit more superior tha the next guy? So spewing it all on here isn’t going to do a damn lick of good in changing someone else’s mind.
> And I’m sure as soon as I hit send, the vitriol will start. Cuz people just can’t help themselves.


There are a handful of people on this site who turn every thread into an off topic crap show.  I spent a day blocking anyone who couldn't help but throw in irrelevant personal "insults" regardless of political disposition. I blocked one more yesterday. What I am saying is that this thread has almost no posts in it and I have no idea what you are talking about.  Just a handful of helpful posts in this thread.


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## Yousername (Apr 7, 2022)

Woodwork said:


> There are a handful of people on this site who turn every thread into an off topic crap show.  I spent a day blocking anyone who couldn't help but throw in irrelevant personal "insults" regardless of political disposition. I blocked one more yesterday. What I am saying is that this thread has almost no posts in it and I have no idea what you are talking about.  Just a handful of helpful posts in this thread.


Good on you for figuring out how to find balance between speaking your mind and keeping your peace.


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## outside! (Apr 7, 2022)

Bullying and cliques have always been around and it is not any worse now than it was in the past. I don't believe there is any gender difference. Some teams have lots of problems, some have none. As a kid, I saw both in multiple sports. For our kids, we have been fortunate with our two players to usually be on teams with mostly cool parents and players. Sometime it was because we chose wisely, other times we just got lucky. There have been a few not so cool parents and players along the way. We ignored the parents and my players just worked hard and earned respect on the field. Amazing what a few stiff tackles will do. DD's current team had an issue with the seniors being assholes to the underclassmen the year before she got there. Her freshman year, the new seniors had a team meeting where they announced they wanted to change the team culture to be more positive. They succeeded and the team has a much better culture now, even four years later. Lots of respect for those women!


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## MoSalah (Apr 9, 2022)

GoldenGate said:


> You seem to lack self awareness.  You and your kid are complaining here and to the coach that:
> 
> 1. you and your daughter know more about soccer than her teammates ("the kids doing this are often wrong--the offsides was not offsides, or the offsides occurred because X player took 3 dribbles to get the ball off her foot when the run was being made...when it should have been 1 touch into space...on, and on, and on.")
> 
> ...





GoldenGate said:


> There is no bullying "pandemic" in girls elite soccer.  That is the most ridiculous snowflaky self-pitying comment I have heard this side of crush. Without having to meet anyone, I can tell you with absolute certainty that he and his daughter are the real problem.  I've seen this a thousand times. When the majority of kids on the kiddie soccer team hate you, the problem is never the majority of the kids.  It is the dad who routinely trashes the other kids for not knowing what they're doing and being immature, and calls their parents dumbasses.  It's the one with the dad who trashes the coach, club, league, U.S. Soccer and everyone else's parents for not doing their job because he thinks his daughter wasn't really offsides that one time or, if she was, it was because a teammate once dribbled three times before making the through ball instead of sending it one touch. Seriously, the idea that kids are bullying his daughter by not passing her the ball more quickly is some of the most petty b.s. I have ever heard. It sounds like he is a snowflake who cannot handle people being critical of his daughter, and who is upset when anyone other than his daughter has the ball.
> 
> I can also tell you that, to the extent his daughter is shunned in practice (rather than that just being his gross over-reactions anytime someone is critical of his daughter), it is because he is a jerk and she continually rats them out to the coach over b.s.  In fact, admitting that she's the one who is constantly confronting her teammates "phase to phase" tells you exactly what you need to know about who's the real bully.  Otherwise, if she were actually a U17 national team player who had been bullied for three years as he claims, she would have been long gone.


Golden Gate--it is amazing how one filters what they read...  You assessment of our situation and my daughters situation is incorrect on every level--every level.  Your assumptions lack any nuance and understanding, let alone charity in attempting to understand the situation.  There is a massive problem in soccer with entitled girls and it plays out on this particular side.  I am very happy to talk you through this...drop me your phone number.


----------



## Anon9 (Apr 9, 2022)

MoSalah said:


> Golden Gate--it is amazing how one filters what they read...  You assessment of our situation and my daughters situation is incorrect on every level--every level.  Your assumptions lack any nuance and understanding, let alone charity in attempting to understand the situation.  There is a massive problem in soccer with entitled girls and it plays out on this particular side.  I am very happy to talk you through this...drop me your phone number.


Ignore her. It's EOTL again. I dont know why @Dominic let's her be on here under a new name.


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## Jamisfoes (Apr 11, 2022)

A mean soccer mom?


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## GoldenGate (Apr 11, 2022)

MoSalah said:


> Golden Gate--it is amazing how one filters what they read...  You assessment of our situation and my daughters situation is incorrect on every level--every level.  Your assumptions lack any nuance and understanding, let alone charity in attempting to understand the situation.  There is a massive problem in soccer with entitled girls and it plays out on this particular side.  I am very happy to talk you through this...drop me your phone number.


Massive problem with entitled girls?  Pandemic of bullying in girls soccer?  What a joke.


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## Emma (Apr 11, 2022)

Jamisfoes said:


> A mean soccer mom?


no such thing?


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## Jamisfoes (Apr 12, 2022)

With the socal league, can a coach move players from B team to A team in the middle of the spring season?


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## MoSalah (Apr 17, 2022)

GoldenGate said:


> Massive problem with entitled girls?  Pandemic of bullying in girls soccer?  What a joke.


Golden Gate--let's have a call...better yet, how about a beer...  Drop me your line.  Looks like u are in the Bay Area also...  I am sure we will have a long list of soccer stories to compare.  We have been at this for 14 years and my Kid is on a U17 National team...been capped twice...so, I have been around the block.  I am sure with more nuance we will have agreement...  Why does this have to devolve into negativity ad hominem arguments?


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## SoccerFan4Life (Apr 18, 2022)

Sydney Leroux’s mother says abuse and bullying in Canadian soccer drove daughter to US | Soccer | The Guardian
					

Sandi Leroux says allegations of bullying and abuse around the Vancouver Whitecaps and Canada’s youth teams were well known – and not dealt with




					amp.theguardian.com


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## crush (Apr 18, 2022)

SoccerFan4Life said:


> Sydney Leroux’s mother says abuse and bullying in Canadian soccer drove daughter to US | Soccer | The Guardian
> 
> 
> Sandi Leroux says allegations of bullying and abuse around the Vancouver Whitecaps and Canada’s youth teams were well known – and not dealt with
> ...


As Sydney’s prodigious talent was more widely noticed, Leroux recalls Birarda contacting her to say her teenage daughter should join training sessions with his *pay-to-play private academy* – a *two-hour drive *from their family home. Leroux said her daughter wouldn’t be able to make it and explained: *“I am a single mom and I work full time.”
“‘Do you know who I am?’”* Leroux recalls Birarda shouting at her. “He started listing who he was and who he had coached. *He was like … a bully.* By the time we left Canada, Birarda had control of everything. He had the Whitecaps. He had the U-20s women’s team. It was crazy how he took over everything.”

Some Docs can act like this.  These types are punks and need to get out of girls soccer asap!!!  They love power, they love themselves, they have a resume of players that they developed to the YNT, National Team and the Pros.  It's all about them and their ego.  If you do exactly as they say, they will be the middle man to get what you want.  They use it to get what they want and they bully parents and their kids.  Pay-to-Play Privates is the worst and we always said no.  If you say no they get mad and they have direct connection to college coaches and your kids play time.  So they have the power!!   They they they they hold the cards.  So if you don;t pay, you don;t play at the next level.  Now you're in a tough spot.  If you tell a coach no to his privates, he thinks your kid is not serious and will look for other talented kids like your kid and get them to pay instead.


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## crush (Apr 18, 2022)

“It was horrible,” Leroux says. “It really was. *You felt that it was the men’s club.* That you couldn’t do anything. You couldn’t speak. You couldn’t complain to anybody. You would be too scared. [Many players don’t speak because they] don’t want to lose the chance to work for Canada Soccer in the future or lose their position on the team. Even I’m still worried about saying things about Sydney. They all cover for each other.”

“Sydney would have quit soccer if she stayed in Canada,” she says.* “It bothers me today that I didn’t do something at the time but I knew that if I did they would punish her*. But she was already getting punished and I didn’t do anything.


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## MoSalah (May 9, 2022)

SoccerFan4Life said:


> Sydney Leroux’s mother says abuse and bullying in Canadian soccer drove daughter to US | Soccer | The Guardian
> 
> 
> Sandi Leroux says allegations of bullying and abuse around the Vancouver Whitecaps and Canada’s youth teams were well known – and not dealt with
> ...


Lord of the Flies!  Just let the ladies sort it out!!!


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