# Guest playng - best practices, your experiences, etc....



## mulliganmom (Jul 19, 2018)

We have done a lot of guest playing over the years within our club - playing up in older age groups, or on other teams within the same age group. This year we have had a few opportunities outside our club. They haven't worked, for one reason or another, but I would be curious to hear your feedback on guesting for other clubs - have your coaches been OK with it? How do your kids react? Mine seems to be concerned it's not OK to do that... I think it really depends on your coach. There are some great opportunities so I would be curious to hear your experiences, etc. Thanks


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## socalkdg (Jul 19, 2018)

We just started guest playing this year.  I wanted my daughter to gain more experience, more touches, and get accustomed to going into a different environment and getting comfortable in a new system with new players.  It seems to be that goal keepers are a different breed than the rest of the players as most teams don't have backups, and the position can't be plugged in easily by another player on the team.   I was up front with our coach.   He doesn't gain much from the guest playing(maybe a slightly better goal keeper),  but already knows my daughter has been recruited by a few teams already and that we honor our commitments.   I just want her improving every year and this is just another avenue for her to improve.  It also helps us parents see what other teams are like,  and what the competition looks like outside.  Not all that different from one club to the next, except that most need good goal keepers.


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## MyDaughtersAKeeper (Jul 19, 2018)

My kid is an '05 and started guest playing 3 years ago.  She has guested for her club teams and with completely random teams.  She was able to play with a team from Central California at Surf Cup one year when her team wasn't paying in the tournament.  My analogy is that her brain is a computer and we need to feed it data, the data being: breakaways, corners, crosses and plays developing.  The more data the better.  Every team that she has guest played with treated her well as they were happy to have a FT keeper available to them.  Now the recommendations:

1 - ALWAYS let the coach know/get approval 1st,
2 - If there is an opportunity to guest play with the home club, do that 1st,
3 - Don't be surprised when EVERYONE on the team knows that your kid guested,
4 - Remind your kid that if they had a FT keeper they wouldn't need him/her; relax, take ownership of the defense (I don't care that you just met them), have fun.

Guesting can be a great chance to meet other soccer players, get experience and be exposed to other styles of play.  I recommend it.  Good luck.


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## Mystery Train (Jul 19, 2018)

My DD is in HS and we did our first guesting at U11.  At first within the club and then as she got older, we guest played with a few other clubs.  We found it highly valuable in the early years but not as much anymore as she's on a highly competitive team and the opportunity for injury doesn't seem worth the risk.  


mulliganmom said:


> have your coaches been OK with it?


All of her coaches have been totally fine with her guest playing within the club.  Guesting with another club?  I would say that they all frowned on it generally, but most of them were ok if the club in question was located far away.  Clearly, this is because they are worried that your kid is being recruited away from them, and only approved guesting if the club wasn't a realistic option for us to jump ship to.  Even then, they would always mention the possibility of injury, especially if we had a tournament or games coming up ourselves.  Her coaches were most supportive of her guest playing at another club if: a. It was not a direct competitor in their geography. b. Our team was in a dark or slow period as far as games.  c. There was some compelling opportunity for her (guesting at Surf Cup or Players in Las Vegas) that she couldn't get on her team/club.   In those cases, we could convince the coach to endorse it, even if they didn't like the idea much.  



mulliganmom said:


> How do your kids react?


The big thing about guest playing as a keeper is mentality and confidence.  I had to talk her into it most of the time.  She can be a creature of habit and forcing her out of her comfort zone was something we as parents tried to do in order to get her to come out of her shell and learn.  It was hard on her initially, but each time that it worked out well, she would gain more and more self-confidence. 

My kid was a lot like yours in the beginning.  She liked her first club and didn't want to play for anyone else.  But her club fired her coach and when another coach in her club passed her over for a kid from another club, she learned very quickly that "loyalty" means nothing in the club soccer game.  After that experience, she understood the value of guest playing - even if you're happy with your current coach and club, making connections with other coaches and players will create opportunities down the road that really can pay off.  The team/club she ended up with (and hopefully will finish out her youth soccer career with) was a team she guest played for once several seasons before actually joining them.  We stayed in touch with the coach and guested a couple times over the years and when she was finally ready to make the leap to a higher level team, they were in need, and it worked out perfectly for both sides.  When she had first guest played with them, she had actually been referred to the opportunity through another coach that she had guest played for at a different time.  If it weren't for getting out there and seeking guest playing opportunities, she wouldn't be where she is, and wouldn't be getting the recruitment opportunities she currently has.  In our case, networking really paid off in the end.


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## Mystery Train (Jul 19, 2018)

One more thing I forgot to mention...

Because of the scarcity of good goalkeepers, there are more opportunities (compared to field players) to guest play for teams at significantly higher levels than your child is currently playing.  This is really good, even if it doesn't go so well at first.   Giving your child a chance to see the difference in speed, precision, power, physicality of players and teams at higher levels will help them understand what they need to do to improve.  In my opinion, there isn't much value to guest play at a lower level unless they have friends on the team or you are helping your club out in a pinch.


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## socalkdg (Jul 19, 2018)

Mystery Train said:


> The big thing about guest playing as a keeper is mentality and confidence.  I had to talk her into it most of the time.  She can be a creature of habit and forcing her out of her comfort zone was something we as parents tried to do in order to get her to come out of her shell and learn.  It was hard on her initially, but each time that it worked out well, she would gain more and more self-confidence.
> .


I'll admit some bribing had to be done to get her to agree.  Now she tells her grandparents that they need to check with her agent(me) if they want to know if she is guest playing again.  

The previous two years she did guest play with AYSO Extra teams as a forward.   She hadn't decided if keeper was going to be a full time job so getting field time was nice.  She usually know a few of the kids then.   Have to admit that every parent likes to see their kid score, although I'm mostly over that.

Guest playing helps get other coaches perspective and instruction for you kid as well, always a good thing.


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## Eagle33 (Jul 20, 2018)

socalkdg said:


> I'll admit some bribing had to be done to get her to agree.  Now she tells her grandparents that they need to check with her agent(me) if they want to know if she is guest playing again.
> 
> The previous two years she did guest play with AYSO Extra teams as a forward.   She hadn't decided if keeper was going to be a full time job so getting field time was nice.  She usually know a few of the kids then.   Have to admit that every parent likes to see their kid score, although I'm mostly over that.
> 
> Guest playing helps get other coaches perspective and instruction for you kid as well, always a good thing.


I did not know that you can guest with AYSO extra....


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## socalkdg (Jul 20, 2018)

Eagle33 said:


> I did not know that you can guest with AYSO extra....


Only if you were signed up in the fall.   My daughter was pulling double duty so she could still play forward.  Which of course forced me to coach so we could work around the club schedule.  Still miss those days.


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## Eagle33 (Jul 20, 2018)

socalkdg said:


> Only if you were signed up in the fall.   My daughter was pulling double duty so she could still play forward.  Which of course forced me to coach so we could work around the club schedule.  Still miss those days.


I highly suggest to try Mexican League instead.


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## socalkdg (Jul 20, 2018)

Eagle33 said:


> I highly suggest to try Mexican League instead.


She doesn't play forward anymore.   Schedule pretty full with club, keeper training, camps, guest play and basketball.   Oh, and way too much fortnite.


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## pewpew (Jul 21, 2018)

@Mystery Train pretty much covered it all. Well said. 
We usually need to check the schedule/location to see if we can make it work. My GK likes a little bit of bio on the team if I can get it. Level of play or anything that tells her what the work load might be like. Always equal level or above since playing down may help them but it's not going to help her in any way so the return on investment of time/money/gas/etc isn't worth it. Not trying to sound snobbish by any means..it's just the reality. Especially if you consider I'm going to miss work to guest.  It's always been a good experience. Most times they coaches have taken my word sight-unseen that she'll take care of their team. Which she has. She's not perfect but she's dependable and will get the job done.  Only once did we make it out to train with one team because they were close enough to make a training session prior to a tournament. One tournament earlier this year the team wasn't listening to her provide direction/instruction/etc and the Team Captain started shouting at the girls.."Listen to your keeper..she's trying to help you!!"  That one was priceless.
And as @Mystery Train  said before..the experience and future networking can really pay off down the road. We've been at other tournaments and had players or parents from a few of those teams see us and come up to say hi. It's a good feeling to see her get some recognition for a job well done.


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## mulliganmom (Jul 22, 2018)

Great feedback everyone. Thank you for your thoughts and response.


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## soccerpops (Jul 25, 2018)

This is a very informational thread, thanks everyone. Where are the best places to find guest playing opportunities?


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## Mystery Train (Jul 25, 2018)

This website is great for that.  Go to the specific age group forums, that's where most of the requests for guest players are posted.  There's also a FB page that is great for it, but I can't remember what it is...someone else may know .


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## mulliganmom (Jul 25, 2018)

So how have you convinced your kids that playing for another club is OK? That is my biggest stumbling block right now. She guest played last weekend with another team, this weekend with another team - same club - but try to get her to consider outside the club and it's like - no I'm good. I don't think we're supposed to do that. And I think this is the year to do that for sure...


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## MyDaughtersAKeeper (Jul 25, 2018)

mulliganmom said:


> So how have you convinced your kids that playing for another club is OK? That is my biggest stumbling block right now. She guest played last weekend with another team, this weekend with another team - same club - but try to get her to consider outside the club and it's like - no I'm good. I don't think we're supposed to do that. And I think this is the year to do that for sure...


If she really doesn't want to  do it, then don't push it. Perhaps try to get her to play arena/futsal/pickup games  or take some lessons with people outside the club.  That should open up her mind to the idea that there is more than just her current club.  Good luck.


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## Eagle33 (Jul 26, 2018)

mulliganmom said:


> So how have you convinced your kids that playing for another club is OK? That is my biggest stumbling block right now. She guest played last weekend with another team, this weekend with another team - same club - but try to get her to consider outside the club and it's like - no I'm good. I don't think we're supposed to do that. And I think this is the year to do that for sure...


If you find yourself wanting something more out of her playing than she does, then it's time to step back and rethink your involvement. Besides, there is nothing wrong with Loyalty.


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## Mystery Train (Jul 26, 2018)

mulliganmom said:


> So how have you convinced your kids that playing for another club is OK? That is my biggest stumbling block right now. She guest played last weekend with another team, this weekend with another team - same club - but try to get her to consider outside the club and it's like - no I'm good. I don't think we're supposed to do that. And I think this is the year to do that for sure...


It depends on what your motivations are for finding guest playing opportunities outside your own club.  In no particular order, these might be:
a) Get more playing time because there isn't enough with your club
b) Thinking of leaving the club in the future, need to check out other clubs to evaluate options 
c) Exposure to a higher level of play than available at your club
d) Chance to play at a showcase tournament that your club is not participating in

It sounds like there are plenty of A, if you've already guested twice in the last two weeks.  So if it is b, c, or d, you should probably gain her agreement that these things are necessary in order for her to achieve whatever goal she has with soccer.  If her goal is to just play lots, get better and have fun, then I wouldn't worry about guest playing at other clubs if she's getting all of that at her own club.  In my DD's case, she just didn't have enough opportunities for advancement within her first club.  She got pigeon-holed at the u-little ages as a B-team level player, mainly because she was a late bloomer.  We didn't know much better, and assumed our club had her evaluated accurately.  When she guest played for teams who were competing at a higher level than our club's A team, the coaches for those clubs recruited her hard, and we realized that maybe our club was doing her a disservice.  Sure enough, her opportunities blossomed when she left.  But our situation may not be equivalent to yours, so don't assume that guest playing for another club will end up producing better results in the long run.  It did for us, but it's important for your kid and you to be on the same page about the reasons.  Is she content with her playing time and her growth at her current club?


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## socalkdg (Jul 26, 2018)

mulliganmom said:


> So how have you convinced your kids that playing for another club is OK? That is my biggest stumbling block right now. She guest played last weekend with another team, this weekend with another team - same club - but try to get her to consider outside the club and it's like - no I'm good. I don't think we're supposed to do that. And I think this is the year to do that for sure...


Cold hard cash.   Yes, I said it,   I bribed her for her first guest playing stint.   Call me a bad parent, but both my wife and I knew she would end up enjoying it,  knew it would be a great experience,  and felt it was a worthwhile thing to do.   She was just nervous about meeting new girls and if she would meet expectations.  So many positives that we had to come up with a way to convince her.   Now she tells the grandparents to check with her agent on when she plays again.


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## Mystery Train (Jul 26, 2018)

socalkdg said:


> Cold hard cash.   Yes, I said it,   I bribed her for her first guest playing stint.   Call me a bad parent, but both my wife and I knew she would end up enjoying it,  knew it would be a great experience,  and felt it was a worthwhile thing to do.   She was just nervous about meeting new girls and if she would meet expectations.  So many positives that we had to come up with a way to convince her.   Now she tells the grandparents to check with her agent on when she plays again.


No judgement here when it comes to sports bribery.  I told my then 7 year old son (who was giving zero effort in his AYSO games) that if he scored a goal, I'd take him to the Lego store.  He scored in the first quarter, and without even celebrating with his team, he sprinted over to where I was sitting and asked if we could go to the store now.  LOL


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## socalkdg (Jul 31, 2018)

Not sure it was mentioned, but be ready to be recruited by teams that you guest play with.


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## Keepermom2 (Aug 3, 2018)

Mystery Train...thank you for all that you share!!!  Always so very helpful!  I never even thought I needed to check with the coach when my daughter guested.  

We would never jump ship in the middle of our commitment (unless things were ridiculously bad) so I didn't even think about that.  My daughter refuses to guest for whatever reason even though she has had the opportunity.  She just started playing up 2 years right now so I am not pushing her on guesting because her confidence needs to increase to deal with this first challenge that I am always questioning whether she made the right decision or not.  I think that bribery might work when the time is right to at least get her to experience it so she knows what the experience will provide her and to see if she likes it or not.  If I didn't push my daughter to go down the slide at the lake (massive judgement from parents all around too) when she was 7, she would have never seen the enjoyment that caused her to want to do it over and over again.  I knew that but all of the judging spectators didn't!  I am thinking pushing to guest is the same thing.  I wouldn't do it with her kicking and screaming but bribing sounds good initially so she can at least see if she likes it or not.

A poster talked about loyalty...I am big on loyalty but......I learned in my career at a Big 4 accounting firm where they burn and churn much like Club Soccer, and always shared with the young driven team of people that I was responsible for mentoring..."Look for what the firm has to offer you and suck them dry on those experiences.  When they stop providing you a benefit with your own goals (including happiness), it is time for you to look for other opportunities because that is exactly how they look at you.  Mutual benefit is the goal.  Now lets talk about your goals and how we can help you meet those goals."  It would be pretty cool if coaches would ask the same thing which would help with loyalty and retention of players but I realized over a year ago that was a pipe dream in the Club Soccer world.   I had to lower my expectations and find my own way of helping my daughter define and achieve her goals which includes loyalty/commitment in the short term.   

Just love this Goalkeeper forum.  You all provide such great information.  I wish there was a mentoring program of high school Keepers mentoring youth Keepers but this forum is a great alternative!


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## pewpew (Aug 14, 2018)

So this past weekend we took the spot posted here looking for a guest GK for West Coast/OC Surf Tournament with San Diego United G03-Black. GK was recovering from a knee injury. What a great weekend. Weather was great...a bit warm but a breeze at times which was nice. You could see the Holy Fire blow up from our chairs at OC Great Park. Night game was a nice change of pace considering it's summer. Lights and cooler temps.

San Diego United. What can I say. What a team. Played great possession soccer. Girls were great and very welcoming. Coach and Team Mgr. were good people. Parents were very appreciative of us helping as well. Tough bracket. In group play they beat Real SoCal 3-0. Against CDA Slammers-Whittier/Alvarez drew 0-0..same thing against OC Surf DA Pilot..0-0. That put us in a 3-way tie for the wild card spot. But 3 clean sheets put us ahead and into the semi-finals. My GK had a good weekend..and some big saves!! A few mistakes here and there. But not bad overall when you consider she only met them 1hr before their first game. In the semi-finals they lost to LA Breakers ECNL 0-1.  SDU girls busted their butts out there. Have yet to see a harder working bunch of girls. A very hard-fought game. But they played that way all weekend. Always hustling for every ball. A very well-coached team. A foul near the by-line gave Breakers a free kick which they converted. Unlucky. Otherwise it probably would've gone to PK's. An overall great weekend came to a close. 

Here's the best part. After that last game as the girls were all walking back to the parent's sideline..my DD was walking across the field by herself towards us.  My wife was talking to one of her sisters who came to watch the game..I tapped her on the shoulder. 
"Look..that's the SD United parents clapping and cheering and thanking her!!"  A few even called her by name. My wife and I were speechless.
She waved back to all of them and thanked them as well. I don't think I'll ever forget this one. What a class act by SD United!!
Thanks for a great weekend of soccer!!


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## mulliganmom (Aug 15, 2018)

Mystery Train said:


> It depends on what your motivations are for finding guest playing opportunities outside your own club.  In no particular order, these might be:
> a) Get more playing time because there isn't enough with your club
> b) Thinking of leaving the club in the future, need to check out other clubs to evaluate options
> c) Exposure to a higher level of play than available at your club
> ...



This was a very helpful thread. She did finally guest play elsewhere. @Mystery Train I asked all your questions, then asked her the same questions. The answer for me to your questions was E - all of the above. The opportunity and experience was very good, and I think opened her eyes, which is all we were trying to achieve at the end of the day. Thanks again for all your constructive feedback.


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## Mystery Train (Aug 15, 2018)

mulliganmom said:


> This was a very helpful thread. She did finally guest play elsewhere. @Mystery Train I asked all your questions, then asked her the same questions. The answer for me to your questions was E - all of the above. The opportunity and experience was very good, and I think opened her eyes, which is all we were trying to achieve at the end of the day. Thanks again for all your constructive feedback.


Absolutely!  Glad to hear it went well and that she got to expand on her playing experience; so good for building self confidence.  Happy to pass on helpful information from all our ups and downs!  Good luck to her!


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## socalkdg (Aug 16, 2018)

We guest played at the West Coast/OC tournament as well at the 05 level.  Might get to guest play with the same team at Blues Cup over labor day.   This was the 2nd go around with the team and easy to see some friendships building.   She has played well, but has seemed to play more conservative, staying on her line a bit more.  With her last game vs the winner of the tournament she got aggressive, playing off her line multiple times, making plays outside the 18, and shutting them out.     

I was wondering what the reaction is for keepers that struggled with the team they guest played with.  Whether it be a  bad day, some bad breaks, or the defense breaks down.


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## Mystery Train (Aug 16, 2018)

socalkdg said:


> We guest played at the West Coast/OC tournament as well at the 05 level.  Might get to guest play with the same team at Blues Cup over labor day.   This was the 2nd go around with the team and easy to see some friendships building.   She has played well, but has seemed to play more conservative, staying on her line a bit more.  With her last game vs the winner of the tournament she got aggressive, playing off her line multiple times, making plays outside the 18, and shutting them out.
> 
> I was wondering what the reaction is for keepers that struggled with the team they guest played with.  Whether it be a  bad day, some bad breaks, or the defense breaks down.


My kid once had the mother of all bad days for a team she was guesting for in a showcase.  In fact, she had two bad days, letting high bounces go over her head for goals not once but twice.  So bad that I could hear parents on the sidelines saying things like, "Get that girl out of there!"  Needless to say, they never called again.  She was depressed  for about 48 hours.  But she owned it, and kept on working.  The biggest issue was that she developed some pregame and in game anxiety/nerves after that which took her a while to get past.  I'm not sure it was entirely related to that incident.  But in hindsight, she recognizes today that her bad weekend was a blessing in disguise.  For one, she'll never misjudge a bounce like that again. Two, that team was checking her out as a potential player for them.  Had that weekend gone well, she would have taken the spot and missed out on the guest play opportunity that led to her current (much better) team.  Every experience can be made into a positive with the right attitude.  We like to say in our house, "You win some, you learn some."  That day she learned some.


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## MyDaughtersAKeeper (Aug 16, 2018)

socalkdg said:


> We guest played at the West Coast/OC tournament as well at the 05 level.  Might get to guest play with the same team at Blues Cup over labor day.   This was the 2nd go around with the team and easy to see some friendships building.   She has played well, but has seemed to play more conservative, staying on her line a bit more.  With her last game vs the winner of the tournament she got aggressive, playing off her line multiple times, making plays outside the 18, and shutting them out.
> 
> I was wondering what the reaction is for keepers that struggled with the team they guest played with.  Whether it be a  bad day, some bad breaks, or the defense breaks down.


Last weekend my daughter guest played and I saw the normal pattern for her:
Game 1 - Ok. Nothing special and a so-so warm up,
Game 2 - Better but still not playing at the top of her game,
Game 3 - Quality game that I would call an A but not her best,
Game 4 - (Finals) best game of the tournament.  2 balls punched over.  Highly talkative to the D.  Comfortable in net.  Lost 0-1, but could have gone either way and I think she helped keep the team in it.
My daughter seems to get more comfortable with each game.  The other players and parents were appreciative.  It helps that she knew some of the players.  My goal would for her to play as well in games 1-3 as she does in game 4.  It is all ab out the mental part. Good luck to you and your kid.


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## socalkdg (Aug 16, 2018)

@Mystery Train and @MyDaughtersAKeeper 
What year are your girls.   Mine is 05.    Always good to hear the best and worst, so thanks.


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## MyDaughtersAKeeper (Aug 16, 2018)

socalkdg said:


> @Mystery Train and @MyDaughtersAKeeper
> What year are your girls.   Mine is 05.    Always good to hear the best and worst, so thanks.


Mine is an '05.


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## socalkdg (Aug 16, 2018)

MyDaughtersAKeeper said:


> Mine is an '05.


Was she at West Coast as well?   It was nice playing in Mission Viejo.


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## Mystery Train (Aug 16, 2018)

socalkdg said:


> @Mystery Train and @MyDaughtersAKeeper
> What year are your girls.   Mine is 05.    Always good to hear the best and worst, so thanks.


'02!


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## MyDaughtersAKeeper (Aug 16, 2018)

socalkdg said:


> Was she at West Coast as well?   It was nice playing in Mission Viejo.


Oceanside.  She guested with GPS Bayern which is the old Encinitas Express '05 top team (with some new additions).


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