# Player Demotion



## S00CER1 (Feb 17, 2017)

New to club soccer and my DD recently completed her 1st year.  She was "demoted" by her coach despite significant playing time - either starting or 1st off the bench.  We are not blind to her weaknesses, but felt she had improved and was 3rd or 4th on her team in goals and the team had a very successful year as a 1st year team.  The families and kids got along without any drama we are aware of.  Trying to sort through what to do next - accept the demotion or find a new club despite tryouts being completed for most teams.


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## midreams (Feb 17, 2017)

S00CER1 said:


> New to club soccer and my DD recently completed her 1st year.  She was "demoted" by her coach despite significant playing time - either starting or 1st off the bench.  We are not blind to her weaknesses, but felt she had improved and was 3rd or 4th on her team in goals and the team had a very successful year as a 1st year team.  The families and kids got along without any drama we are aware of.  Trying to sort through what to do next - accept the demotion or find a new club despite tryouts being completed for most teams.


Demoted to what? Not every player can be a starter - bench players are just as important.

There is still plenty of time to try out for a new club. But if the goal is to have her become a starter on a brand new team, that might be unrealistic unless the new team is really hurting for players.


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## mirage (Feb 17, 2017)

On the surface, it sounds bad but it may not be.  It simply depends on how old and where your kid is, in terms of soccer abilities.

Recommend not thinking in terms of goals scored or minutes played.  Think in terms of where best to improve her skills and soccer IQ.

Also the word "demotion" has a negative connotation to it and it reflects how you've interpreted the situation.  Possibly two completely different motivation by the coach for taking this action:

1) The player does not show sufficient up side to continue-on, on the team and the coach is looking for different kind of player, or

2) the player can significantly benefit from being on a lower tier team, where she can build confidence and improve her skills better than being on the higher tier competition (where things are faster and require higher skills).

Of course it may not be either of those thought through things and simply that "I want a bigger and faster kid to win" mentality.

In any case, talk to the coach and understand why, if you haven't already.  And if you already have and didn't like the answer, there are no shortage of clubs out there.

Good luck....


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## Dos Equis (Feb 17, 2017)

S00CER1 said:


> New to club soccer and my DD recently completed her 1st year.  She was "demoted" by her coach despite significant playing time - either starting or 1st off the bench.  We are not blind to her weaknesses, but felt she had improved and was 3rd or 4th on her team in goals and the team had a very successful year as a 1st year team.  The families and kids got along without any drama we are aware of.  Trying to sort through what to do next - accept the demotion or find a new club despite tryouts being completed for most teams.


What do you think of the coach of the new team?  What is the overall level of play? Does she like her new teammates?   The normal reaction is to look for another "A" team, but make sure you find a good coach and a group of players who will be able to challenge your daughter and help her improve.   A well-coached "B" team trumps a poorly coached "A" team, in my opinion.

Kudos to the prior coach for giving her playing time and working with her.  Make sure you understand from him/her what your daughter needs to work on to improve, and then do it.  Nine times out of ten, they actually know.


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## S00CER1 (Feb 17, 2017)

midreams said:


> Demoted to what? Not every player can be a starter - bench players are just as important.
> 
> There is still plenty of time to try out for a new club. But if the goal is to have her become a starter on a brand new team, that might be unrealistic unless the new team is really hurting for players.


Invited to the lower tier team.  We took a very hands off approach as we did not want to be " one of those parents " and let the coach do whatever he felt was best.  We had no expectations to start, but thought she would at least be invited back as she genuinely liked her teammates and her coach.  After talking with the coach it felt like typical coach speak about development etc.


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## younothat (Feb 17, 2017)

Don't know what age your player is, but did she talking directly with her coach during the period where her playing minutes decreased?  Did she enjoy playing with the team and for he coach? 

Most important for the player is too continue to develop the love of the game.  Coaches who help players learn to love the game are the ones to look for so players will continue to stive to get better and be involved.

Separate the team from the player because at the ulittle ages kids need to learn how to play for themselves not just the team.  During the games or training they can be happy or not  with their efforts and usually know the things they need to work on.  The big question is will they work on those things and will the coach(s) help them? development is up to the individual. 

Sometimes playing on a top team is not the best fit for a player, they rely on teammates too much and don't push themselves enough to keep getting better individually.   Nothing really can take the place of work rate or effort and a change can be motivation to do so.  

Development is getting better or improving at something. Not everybody develops at the same rate and there can be some stop, go, regression, progression, etc.

We need to learn new things and change to keep developing. Playing for the same coach or with the same players is comfortable but change can be good every once in a while


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## bruinblue14 (Feb 17, 2017)

Depending on her age, maybe take her to a trainer and get an independent opinion? Sometimes trainers too have insight in terms of coaches and clubs and can point you in the right direction. And unfortunately, even at the younger ages, I've found you can't rely exclusively on your club coach and 2 practices a week to truly develop your kid even if you have a great coach. They just don't have the time (and possibly the expertise) to fine tune whatever it is your DD might need to work on. If your DD is motivated, it's all about time on the ball, the more touches the better, in practice, at home, at school, at the park, wherever. And if your current coach won't be more specific about why he made the move, then maybe it's time to move on anyways. Good luck!


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## S00CER1 (Feb 17, 2017)

Dos Equis said:


> What do you think of the coach of the new team?  What is the overall level of play? Does she like her new teammates?   The normal reaction is to look for another "A" team, but make sure you find a good coach and a group of players who will be able to challenge your daughter and help her improve.   A well-coached "B" team trumps a poorly coached "A" team, in my opinion.
> 
> Kudos to the prior coach for giving her playing time and working with her.  Make sure you understand from him/her what your daughter needs to work on to improve, and then do it.  Nine times out of ten, they actually know.


A bit underwhelmed by her new teammates.  I have always felt she should never be the best or the worst and somewhere in the middle in terms of talent. She was somewhere in the middle to upper tier on her prior team and now is clearly the best on the new team.  Just trying to figure how to approach things as my DD was hurt by this whole thing.


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## sothpaw (Feb 17, 2017)

S00CER1 said:


> Invited to the lower tier team.  We took a very hands off approach as we did not want to be " one of those parents " and let the coach do whatever he felt was best.  We had no expectations to start, but thought she would at least be invited back as she genuinely liked her teammates and her coach.  After talking with the coach it felt like typical coach speak about development etc.


I am a club coach for a Tier 3 Girls 06 and Tier 2 Girls 03.  I am also the director for the Tier 3 teams at our club.  I do not believe any player should sit on the bench and not play.  Sitting and not playing is a waste of time.  I only carry players that can contribute and will play.  I have spoken with parents and given an honest assessment at the end of the season if their daughter needs to move to a lower level team.  It seems like your daughter is doing everything right and "starting" is not the issue.  From an outsider it appears there might be some type of other issue the coach is not telling you.  Parents need to find the club that fits all of their kids needs.  It is not unusual for kids to switch teams at this stage.


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## GKDad65 (Feb 17, 2017)

Don't worry about it, play where you have fun.  In a few years you'll laugh at it all.  
Over the last ten years or so both of mine were "demoted" once, or twice. 
Now they play at a more competitive level than their "promoted" peers, who have mostly stagnated or left the game.


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## S00CER1 (Feb 17, 2017)

younothat said:


> Don't know what age your player is, but did she talking directly with her coach during the period where her playing minutes decreased?  Did she enjoy playing with the team and for he coach?
> 
> Most important for the player is too continue to develop the love of the game.  Coaches who help players learn to love the game are the ones to look for so players will continue to stive to get better and be involved.
> 
> ...


She is an 06.  She never really had her playing time diminish through the year and played usually 50% of the game at her forward position.  Her coach felt comfortable enough to play her in other positions in front of other players due to injury at State Cup and other end of the year tournaments.  I am starting to think she may have been used as a wake up call for the other players as they had planned to move up a Tier and this has caused some whispers with the parents of her old team as new players have been brought in.


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## Sped (Feb 17, 2017)

S00CER1 said:


> A bit underwhelmed by her new teammates.  I have always felt she should never be the best or the worst and somewhere in the middle in terms of talent. She was somewhere in the middle to upper tier on her prior team and now is clearly the best on the new team.  Just trying to figure how to approach things as my DD was hurt by this whole thing.


with respect, and not knowing your kid at all, are you sure she was in the middle to upper tier?  The bump down seems to indicate otherwise.


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## Fact (Feb 17, 2017)

I've seen this happen all the time. A kid that starts at State Cup is cut from the team the very next week at tryouts.  Your mistake (although I consider it a positive thing) is that you are hands-off., probably not smooshing with the other parents? I bet she is being replaced by a friend of another player on the team or someone that is getting privates by the coach.

The best thing to do is find a team where your daughter is the middle of the pack, work hard and show this team what they are missing.


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## Kicknit22 (Feb 17, 2017)

Sped said:


> with respect, and not knowing your kid at all, are you sure she was in the middle to upper tier?  The bump down seems to indicate otherwise.


Come on Sped!  Don't dismiss the inevitable politics that always come into play.  Soccer1 doesn't sound boastful or as if they are looking through parental goggles.  Sounds like they are getting a raw deal.  Soccer1 should talk to Coach directly and get the answers, if they can.


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## socalkdg (Feb 17, 2017)

Wrote something and changed my mind.  Have to agree and talk to the coach.  If you don't like his answers, find another club, there are so many in So Cal.


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## S00CER1 (Feb 17, 2017)

We are very honest about our DD and where her talent level is. Pros and cons. We had some privates and feedback, all taken with a grain of salt, had very positive things to say and areas to improve from a boys coach affiliated with the club.  Realized something was going on late in the season whenever she made a mistake was taken out and other players got a much longer leash for "development purposes"


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## MyDaughtersAKeeper (Feb 17, 2017)

During last year's tryouts we let our daughter (05) handle everything.  We were very hands off; that was the worst thing that we could have done.  She was a kid dealing with adults.  She was "demoted" from the 1st team to the 2nd team.  We HIGHLY disagreed with the move, but committed to stay due to the coach that she got.  She had  a great year developmentally this year; I believe she made more progress this year than last year.  The coach believed in her, and she worked her tail off.  This year whenever someone wanted to talk to her about plans for the upcoming year the answer has been "go talk to my dad."  Good luck to you and your daughter.


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## TangoCity (Feb 17, 2017)

Fact said:


> I've seen this happen all the time. A kid that starts at State Cup is cut from the team the very next week at tryouts.  Your mistake (although I consider it a positive thing) is that you are hands-off., probably not smooshing with the other parents? I bet she is being replaced by a friend of another player on the team or someone that is getting privates by the coach.
> 
> The best thing to do is find a team where your daughter is the middle of the pack, work hard and show this team what they are missing.


Yes.  Take her somewhere else where she is wanted.  Will be one of the better players on the team but not the best.  Find a coach that works on technical skills like first touch, passing and ball mastery.  Not one that just comes to practice sets up cones and picks them up and moves them every 25 minutes.  Also make sure she is practicing on her own, I recommend juggling.  Set a goal of a 100 juggles using both feet and thighs.    Play soccer tennis with her.  Improve and then come back and beat her old team three times in one season.


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## S00CER1 (Feb 17, 2017)

MyDaughtersAKeeper said:


> During last year's tryouts we let our daughter (05) handle everything.  We were very hands off; that was the worst thing that we could have done.  She was a kid dealing with adults.  She was "demoted" from the 1st team to the 2nd team.  We HIGHLY disagreed with the move, but committed to stay due to the coach that she got.  She had  a great year developmentally this year; I believe she made more progress this year than last year.  The coach believed in her, and she worked her tail off.  This year whenever someone wanted to talk to her about plans for the upcoming year the answer has been "go talk to my dad."  Good luck to you and your daughter.


Thanks for the reply. It looks like we have/had a similar situation. 
Just trying to figure out if staying is best only to improve trying to get back on the team she was just on or to start fresh with a new team and go from there.


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## timbuck (Feb 17, 2017)

It seems a bit premature to start placing middle of the pack kids on to a, b or c teams yet. 
Here's how the conversation would go in a perfect world:
"Hey parent, I wanted to talk to about next year.  Your daughter has been a very important part of our team. I'm still trying to determine which team she will be playing on through the summer tournament and fall season. I want to see her improve her skills and gain a lot of confidence.  Currently she is one of our players that I'm on the fence with regard to the a or b team.  She'll neee to show me x,y,z to get a lot of playing time on the A team. I believe that players get better by playing in games. So, she might be better off playing 80% of the game on the b team, than she would playing 30% (or maybe less) on the A team.  I hope she'll stick with our club.  How would you feel about her training with the b team for a few weeks?  This is an age where some kids start to mature faster than others, so this could play a factor too."


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## Round (Feb 17, 2017)

S00CER1 said:


> We are very honest about our DD and where her talent level is. Pros and cons. We had some privates and feedback, all taken with a grain of salt, had very positive things to say and areas to improve from a boys coach affiliated with the club.  Realized something was going on late in the season whenever she made a mistake was taken out and other players got a much longer leash for "development purposes"


Leave, any coach that thinks it is ok to take 10 year olds out when they make mistakes is a bad coach, any club that employs such a coach is a bad club.


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## jrcaesar (Feb 17, 2017)

She's going to be a 12u? Then staying is best *ONLY *if that club is your very best local option (though I wouldn't get hung up on a "club") *AND* the coach on the next team is terrific. Otherwise go find somewhere else. Too many clubs/teams/coaches to worry about impressing one she's already played for. Don't worry about Tier 1/Gold or Tier 2/Silver - just find the best coach and situation for your player that doesn't involve a long drive each way.


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## S00CER1 (Feb 17, 2017)

timbuck said:


> It seems a bit premature to start placing middle of the pack kids on to a, b or c teams yet.
> Here's how the conversation would go in a perfect world:
> "Hey parent, I wanted to talk to about next year.  Your daughter has been a very important part of our team. I'm still trying to determine which team she will be playing on through the summer tournament and fall season. I want to see her improve her skills and gain a lot of confidence.  Currently she is one of our players that I'm on the fence with regard to the a or b team.  She'll neee to show me x,y,z to get a lot of playing time on the A team. I believe that players get better by playing in games. So, she might be better off playing 80% of the game on the b team, than she would playing 30% (or maybe less) on the A team.  I hope she'll stick with our club.  How would you feel about her training with the b team for a few weeks?  This is an age where some kids start to mature faster than others, so this could play a factor too."


This would have made me feel much better or understood the decision but that conversation did not happen.  When I called him up, I didn't necessarily disagree with his assessment but felt something was up given how suddenly things happened.


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## jrcaesar (Feb 17, 2017)

S00CER1 said:


> This would have made me feel much better or understood the decision but that conversation did not happen.  When I called him up, I didn't necessarily disagree with his assessment but felt something was up given how suddenly things happened.


Ahhh ... He's probably been lining up new players to add post-State Cup for awhile now. Just hasn't told you (or they haven't told their teams) yet.


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## Sped (Feb 17, 2017)

Kicknit22 said:


> Come on Sped!  Don't dismiss the inevitable politics that always come into play.  Soccer1 doesn't sound boastful or as if they are looking through parental goggles.  Sounds like they are getting a raw deal.  Soccer1 should talk to Coach directly and get the answers, if they can.


Yeah, I hear you and totally agree.  But it's not often that a top/middle of the pack team member gets the boot just because other people politic better.  In truth, until a certain age, you can probably take the bottom quarter of any team and replace it with the top quarter of the team below and not notice a difference.  I agree 100% that the coach who had her last year should detail why the move down - anything less is chicken sh*t.


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## S00CER1 (Feb 17, 2017)

jrcaesar said:


> Ahhh ... He's probably been lining up new players to add post-State Cup for awhile now. Just hasn't told you (or they haven't told their teams) yet.


I think you nailed it on the head. Found out through the grapevine that's what happened.  Wish it were more transparent.


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## timbuck (Feb 17, 2017)

We did a mid-season evaluation for our players.  Kind of like a report card.  All teams should be doing this.


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## SoCal GK mom (Feb 17, 2017)

Don't despair!  Take her to other club's try-outs. Lots of teams haven't even started try-outs yet; you have plenty of time. This will help her feel like she has choices and you and she can decide if another team is a better fit or if you want to stay with you club.


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## rainbow_unicorn (Feb 17, 2017)

The mistake that parents make is that they think their kid is _entitled_ to a spot on the team rather than going in with the mentality that their kid has to _earn_ their spot every year.  

Also, keep in mind that soccer player selection is a very subjective process.  One coach's trash is another coach's gold.


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## S00CER1 (Feb 18, 2017)

This was our first year doing club as she had maximized what she was getting through AYSO and select and looking for more competition and training.  We never felt entitled and don't think that a tryout really was a deciding factor.  Her game doesn't translate well in a tryout as she plays very unselfishly and would rather make the right play than to look for her own shot or play.  For us communication would have made us feel better about it rather getting an email from a random coach.  Plan to check out other options but most of the local teams have already concluded tryouts and the late notice was a surprise and really limits our options due to how far we are willing to travel.


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## futboldad1 (Feb 18, 2017)

S00CER1 said:


> This was our first year doing club as she had maximized what she was getting through AYSO and select and looking for more competition and training.  We never felt entitled and don't think that a tryout really was a deciding factor.  *Her game doesn't translate well in a tryout as she plays very unselfishly and would rather make the right play than to look for her own shot or play. * For us communication would have made us feel better about it rather getting an email from a random coach.  Plan to check out other options but most of the local teams have already concluded tryouts and the late notice was a surprise and really limits our options due to how far we are willing to travel.


That should translate perfectly to tryouts. It would take a really bad coach to only look for selfish players, the ball does most of the work n good teams. 

One thing to remember; yes there are _plenty_ of bad coaches out there, but most want the best players so they can win more games. They are generally the only unbiased assessors of talent (us parents, no matter how much we try, cannot see our daughters objectively) and also have more experience than the average parent. If your kid is not invited back to a team then 99% of the team it either means their attitude or ability are not up to snuff. 

Re the lack of communication, that is really bad. The coach should send a detailed email to you about their decision as soon as possible, not leave you wondering or demote without explanation.


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## timbuck (Feb 18, 2017)

They may  have already had tryouts, but rosters aren't really frozen until the end of summer.  Kids change their minds.  Parents jobs get transferred.  Kids get hurt and clubs decide to add an extra roster spot.  
Find a coach you like that is convenient (travel, cost, commitment) and reach out to them.


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## jrcaesar (Feb 18, 2017)

futboldad1 said:


> If your kid is not invited back to a team then 99% of the team it either means their attitude or ability are not up to snuff.


I disagree with this. Could be the case in some (not 99%) instances, but most it's that the coach simply is attracted to the unknown player he sees rather than developing a team and system that benefits the known players he has.


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## jrcaesar (Feb 18, 2017)

S00CER1 said:


> Her game doesn't translate well in a tryout as she plays very unselfishly and would rather make the right play than to look for her own shot or play.


Reach out directly to coaches, and have her participate in 1+ of their trainings. That's how this type of player finds the right place.


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## MWN (Feb 18, 2017)

S00CER1 said:


> This was our first year doing club as she had maximized what she was getting through AYSO and select and looking for more competition and training.  We never felt entitled and don't think that a tryout really was a deciding factor.  Her game doesn't translate well in a tryout as she plays very unselfishly and would rather make the right play than to look for her own shot or play.  For us communication would have made us feel better about it rather getting an email from a random coach.  Plan to check out other options but most of the local teams have already concluded tryouts and the late notice was a surprise and really limits our options due to how far we are willing to travel.


You have gotten some good and bad advice so far.  Here is what I have learned from your posts:

She was the 3rd or 4th best goal scorer on the team.
She is a 2006 (aka 10 year old).
She played AYSO last year.
The coach thinks she should play on the lower division team.
She has weaknesses (which you appreciate).
She had filled in for other positions when players were injured.
Ok.  As yourself this:  Do you trust that the coach/club/system is designed to promote development of the players?  If yes, put your ego aside and let the kid play with whatever team the coach believes that she is best suited.  If no, leave for a coach that you think is going to help develop your player to play ALL positions on the field (except for maybe goalkeeper).

My qualifications are: E-Licensed Coach with 10+ years coaching both rec and club.  Grade 8 Referee.  Parent of a 2003 GK who was on a Flight 3 2003 team and this year will be playing up on a Flight 2 2002 team.  I've been around and look at this from multiple perspectives.  

First, you are making a huge mistake if you think "goals" scored is a factor in anything.  What the coach should be looking at is:

Does she have the speed and agility to compete at the higher level next year?
Ball skills: How is her first touch? Dribbling? Escape moves?
Passing: Does she connect her passes for her age? 
Awareness: Does she know her position AND the positions of her teammates? Does she anticipate properly?
Defending: Can she defend?  Delay?  Use her body and feet appropriately?
... and about 20 other items/categories.
Who cares if she scored goals? (except for the parents).  This is the farthest thing from my mind for a 10 year old, its irrelevant because goal scoring really only should happen when the kids are in the right position.  Give me 20 good shots at goal that are saved then 20 goals due to GK or defender mistakes.  She is 10.

Your goal SHOULD be to put your kid in a program that is going to help her develop into a complete player.  She may be a flight 2 forward but a Rec level defender.  Send her to flight 3 so the coach has the luxury to move her around and develop her into a complete player ... you know ... the kind of player that College coaches look for.

You stated: "_Her game doesn't translate well in a tryout as she plays very unselfishly and would rather make the right play than to look for her own shot or play._"  Are you kidding?  This is precisely what competitive coaches are looking for.  Those small sided games and drills they play at tryouts are all about watching the kids that have an excellent first touch, find their teammate, make the appropriate pass (to space or to the feet) based on the defense, and are unselfish.  Coaches are looking for balls skills, tackling skills, speed, agility, and attitude of both the player (and the parent).  

Finally, any club that automatically puts kids on a team because they were there last year is a "loser" club.  Kids should be put on teams that will allow that player to develop and succeed.  I have seen time-and-time again that kids are put on teams because they were there last year, only to see that kid fall farther behind because of a variety of factors (puberty hasn't kicked in or it did with a vengeance, weight (too little or too much), or just the short draw of the straw when it comes to height and speed.


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## bruinblue14 (Feb 18, 2017)

timbuck said:


> They may  have already had tryouts, but rosters aren't really frozen until the end of summer.  Kids change their minds.  Parents jobs get transferred.  Kids get hurt and clubs decide to add an extra roster spot.
> Find a coach you like that is convenient (travel, cost, commitment) and reach out to them.


Agree. Many coaches keep adding kids (and some kids end up leaving) all through spring and summer.


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## bruinblue14 (Feb 18, 2017)

S00CER1 said:


> This was our first year doing club as she had maximized what she was getting through AYSO and select and looking for more competition and training.  We never felt entitled and don't think that a tryout really was a deciding factor.  Her game doesn't translate well in a tryout as she plays very unselfishly and would rather make the right play than to look for her own shot or play.  For us communication would have made us feel better about it rather getting an email from a random coach.  Plan to check out other options but most of the local teams have already concluded tryouts and the late notice was a surprise and really limits our options due to how far we are willing to travel.


My DD plays the same way and typically plays as a holding mid so her skills are more defensive in nature. This is our first season (after 3 with the same coach) that she has attended tryouts. We prepped her for both eventualities..... she went in knowing she may have to win a lot of 1v1s, but she also stayed true to her game in terms of sharing the ball and making plays for others. I feel like in showcasing both, she ended up showing well for the coaches that were looking for those skills.

And yes, some tryouts where the coach was clearly only looking for height and speed, she sensed that on her own and told us straight up, they don't play the way i like, let's not go back there. We said ok, great.


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## S00CER1 (Feb 18, 2017)

MWN said:


> You have gotten some good and bad advice so far.  Here is what I have learned from your posts:
> 
> She was the 3rd or 4th best goal scorer on the team.
> She is a 2006 (aka 10 year old).
> ...


Honestly I could care less about how many goals she scored, but the other parents let her and me know.  She doesn't celebrate when she does score and cares more about if the team won or not.  We probably failed her also by letting her play on club and rec with her friends.  She missed some rec games due to club, but sometimes had games back to back (club and rec) and we had some issues with how she was used during her rec league games (never left the field and played mid the entire time despite letting the coach know about her other game and us wanting her to try other positions including goalie).  We let it slide because she wanted to play with her friends, but I know it affected her some games as she did not have the same energy level and would defer.  
I am honest about her weaknesses and could probably list more negatives than positives mainly because of things I want her to work on, but don't want to "that parent" like the movie Trophy Kids (highly recommend seeing it).  I could go into more detail as I found out some other information, but don't want to disparage anyone.  I think the coach is good, but now realize that some other factors were in play and failed at communication which ultimately will cause us to go elsewhere.


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## Round (Feb 18, 2017)

MWN said:


> You have gotten some good and bad advice so far.  Here is what I have learned from your posts:
> 
> She was the 3rd or 4th best goal scorer on the team.
> She is a 2006 (aka 10 year old).
> ...


That's a lot of opinions for someone with an E license.  

Reminds me of anther pretty good rule, stay away from daddy coaches.


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## Primetime (Feb 18, 2017)

"A, B, C" or whatever team isn't a good reason to leave.  It comes down to the question of, is your child in a positive enviorment with a good coach and or program and are they consistently improving as a player? If the answer is yes than   No reason to Move at all.  If there's any questions besides those that factor in than I suggest reviewing your priorities.  Quality or level of the team is so mildly related to what priorities as a parent should be.  Way too many parents are caught up in the status of  what level their kids team is.  Or what the social scene on the sidelines is.  I know 10 year old kids that are at their 4th or 5th different club.  Imagine changing your kids school like that and expecting them to learn and perform with any consistency, let alone a high level.  It's crazy what's going on with how many kids and coaches bounce around these days.   Everyone wants to toss around word like development but no one want to go down the road it takes to get there. 
 Plain and simple ! THERE CAN BE NO DEVELOPMENT WITHOUT CONSISTENCY. (Period)


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## timbuck (Feb 18, 2017)

Round said:


> That's a lot of opinions for someone with an E license.
> 
> Reminds me of anther pretty good rule, stay away from daddy coaches.


Yeah, because those guys that scream and berate 9 year olds are way better than a dad.  And those dad coaches are the ones with fake birth certificates on file.


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## MakeAPlay (Feb 18, 2017)

MWN said:


> You have gotten some good and bad advice so far.  Here is what I have learned from your posts:
> 
> She was the 3rd or 4th best goal scorer on the team.
> She is a 2006 (aka 10 year old).
> ...


Great post.  At 10 you don't even know what position a player will ultimately play.  Play good soccer.  Work on technical skills.  Work on tactics starting at U14.  Make sure she is always having fun.  Grades are #1.


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## mirage (Feb 19, 2017)

MWN said:


> You have gotten some good and bad advice so far.  Here is what I have learned from your posts:
> 
> She was the 3rd or 4th best goal scorer on the team.
> She is a 2006 (aka 10 year old).
> ...


Agree with this post.  I would add though that, in reality, a player must stand out in a crowd during a tryout.  In other words, if the player is too unselfish (meaning that he/she should have owned the outcome), that can be a negative to a coach.  But, I suspect my perspective is not all that meaningful for U10.  Also, it depends on the position the player is being considered for (but again, at U10, its all positions isn't it).  It will become clear as the player gets older which position best suit that player.

Btw, is the OP's player U10?  Was asked by several few times but never noticed a respond to the age group question. I probably just missed it...  

At U10, this is way more drama than needed.  There are lots of future DA/ECNL/top tier players still playing rec and on lower tier teams for whatever reasons at this age.  Just change clubs and find a better and more suitable team that fits your need.


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## Daniel Miller (Feb 19, 2017)

Trying out for a team? Here is what you do beforehand:
1.  Pick up the phone and call the coach.  
2.  Ask what he or she is looking for in a player.  
3.  Ask about team style.
4.  Ask what his or her competitive goals are for the team. 
5.  Get a sense of whether this is a tryout you want to attend.  
6.  If not, there are 10 other tryouts within 20 minutes of where you live.  Select from those.
7.  If you like what you hear, tell the coach something about your son or daughter so that the coach has some idea of what to look for at the tryout.
8.  Calendar a couple of other tryouts, and then leave it up to the coaches to decide.


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## MakeAPlay (Feb 22, 2017)

jrcaesar said:


> Ahhh ... He's probably been lining up new players to add post-State Cup for awhile now. Just hasn't told you (or they haven't told their teams) yet.


Somebody butt hurt here?


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## MyDaughtersAKeeper (Feb 22, 2017)

MakeAPlay said:


> Somebody butt hurt here?


Lining up new players before state/national cup isn't outside the realm of possibility.  
PS  Before you light me up, I am not sure this is "crazy talk."


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## Juve 50 (Feb 22, 2017)

I kind of went through the same with my older.  She was never demoted but was also never quite noticed by the Top team in our club.  She to was a player that has never stood out during Tryouts.  But she is a gamer and I like to think she stands out in Matches.  We stayed for 4 years with that lower tier team never really getting a shot with the top team.  During our years with the lower tier team we monitored to make sure she was still playing at a high level with and against good competition.  We also made sure she had the best privates, was developing skill and IQ.  She would also work on her speed and agility during this time.  I never sat by idly.  I am one of those parents.  I will always be one of "those" parents.  I can tell you right now no one has her best interests in mind more than I do.  So I managed.  Made sure I always had a very good relationship with her coach.  And when it was time to leave and have her play at a higher level, we did.  After U12 we took her to a team she had guested with and felt comfortable with.  With a coach who had approached me about her playing at a higher level.  A team SHE picked.  It happened to be a team that played at the top level.  A team that had already had a lot of Success.   But the parents on that team welcomed us with open arms.  And the girls welcomed her.  She had guested with this team so she was already familiar.  But she was starting over.  

Luckily everything worked out and playing for that team led to her being chosen to play for a pretty darn good team now.  This has led to her committing to some of her dream schools and picking a school which I believe is a great fit for her.  But I was by her side the whole way through.  From talking to the Ulittle coaches to becoming friends with her future coach.  

I have also been on the other side.  I have another DD who played in Tier 2 on the Clubs 3rd team.  She started off ok but I saw all the other players around her getting better and she wasn't.  She is also an 06.  She was a starter, and did her best to compete.  But at the end of the day, I believe she wasn't demoted because of my relationship with the coach.  So we will be exploring other sports and activities.  This sport isn't for everyone.  Yes, it's been extremely hard because my Ulittle had grown up playing soccer and watching big sis win national championships and so on.  So it was expected that she would follow in her footsteps.  And all the old coaches I have relationships with tell me to give it time.  But I'm pretty realistic about my kids.  My older is good but she also got lucky that she was in the right place at the right time.  

So to break it down for you:

If you aren't happy take her to another club.  Lots of great girls her in southern California who will welcome her with open arms.  
Find a coach you feel comfortable with.  An unapproachable coach at the younger ages (especially under 12) is not something I would deal with.  Lots of good coaches out there and lots of good trainers that have personality and will talk to you like a human being.  Besides, you are paying for a product.  If you don't like the product, don't but it again.
Be involved.  Don't go the whole year thinking everything is dandy only to be surprised at the end.  I'm sure there were signs.  If you had had an open line of communication with your coach you may have been able to soften the blow that comes with being cut.  I saw the signs with my younger.  She wasn't cut but when I would step in and coach if our coach had a conflict, my dd would be the first I would sub out as I saw she was hurting the team at times.  But I saw the signs.  We would have long talks on the way home with her.  So when it came time to take her off the team, it was hard but not devastating as she had played with many of these girls for 3 years now.  I was able to soften the blow.  
Make sure she is happy and is truly learning to love the game.  Teen Age years suck.  Make sure she is so in love with the sport that you can actually use it as leverage later on when she is giving you a hard time haha.  But there are so many other distractions later on that can derail her if she doesn't truly love the game.
Do your Homework.  Before picking a club to move to, my dd must have guested with no joke 25 teams.  But she made many friends along the way.  Pretty much how I started Goats FC.  But watch how the team plays, trains, interacts with each other.  See if it's a good fit.  It will help in your decision making.  
Remember, soccer is very subjective.  As others have stated, one coaches trash is another coaches treasure.  I was true with my DD.  She really didn't get any interest from the top team until she played against them at surf cup and send them packing.  Played with a huge chip on her shoulder.  Now if no coaches are interested, then maybe she may not be at the level you think she is.  
Don't worry about tiers or levels of play.  Our team signed a girl who no one knew, never played at a level higher than tier 2, and was ignored at other tryouts for teams we beat the tar out of.   She turned into one of the best forwards in the league and is committed as a sophomore to one of the top schools in the country.  Find a coach who will help make your dd a better player.  A coach that will develop her skill and mind.  Some one who will build her confidence and not tear her down.  
Find a trainer.  Look for the top girls in your club and ask their parents who they go to in the area.  Training 2 days a week for and hour wont cut it.  If she wants to be a top player.  
And Finally (since I have been typing for an hour) Enjoy the process.  We have made so many great memories and friends through this whole process.  There are so many great people out there (with a few dicks of course) who all share something in common with you.  Many of the people I stay in touch with were not even on the same team as us.  Even if it hadn't worked out for my older, we still had a great time and made many great memories.  
This is just coming from my own personal experience.  Not saying it's the right way.  But it was the way I did it and it worked out great.  Hopefully my experience might help someone else.  Sorry so long winded.


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## Juve 50 (Feb 22, 2017)

And sorry for the typos. Damn sausage fingers.


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## Sizzle10 (Feb 23, 2017)

Juve 50 said:


> I kind of went through the same with my older.  She was never demoted but was also never quite noticed by the Top team in our club.  She to was a player that has never stood out during Tryouts.  But she is a gamer and I like to think she stands out in Matches.  We stayed for 4 years with that lower tier team never really getting a shot with the top team.  During our years with the lower tier team we monitored to make sure she was still playing at a high level with and against good competition.  We also made sure she had the best privates, was developing skill and IQ.  She would also work on her speed and agility during this time.  I never sat by idly.  I am one of those parents.  I will always be one of "those" parents.  I can tell you right now no one has her best interests in mind more than I do.  So I managed.  Made sure I always had a very good relationship with her coach.  And when it was time to leave and have her play at a higher level, we did.  After U12 we took her to a team she had guested with and felt comfortable with.  With a coach who had approached me about her playing at a higher level.  A team SHE picked.  It happened to be a team that played at the top level.  A team that had already had a lot of Success.   But the parents on that team welcomed us with open arms.  And the girls welcomed her.  She had guested with this team so she was already familiar.  But she was starting over.
> 
> Luckily everything worked out and playing for that team led to her being chosen to play for a pretty darn good team now.  This has led to her committing to some of her dream schools and picking a school which I believe is a great fit for her.  But I was by her side the whole way through.  From talking to the Ulittle coaches to becoming friends with her future coach.
> 
> ...


Thanks for sharing your personal experience.  Your advice is very helpful.


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## SoCal GK mom (Feb 23, 2017)

Juve 50 said:


> I kind of went through the same with my older.  She was never demoted but was also never quite noticed by the Top team in our club.  She to was a player that has never stood out during Tryouts.  But she is a gamer and I like to think she stands out in Matches.  We stayed for 4 years with that lower tier team never really getting a shot with the top team.  During our years with the lower tier team we monitored to make sure she was still playing at a high level with and against good competition.  We also made sure she had the best privates, was developing skill and IQ.  She would also work on her speed and agility during this time.  I never sat by idly.  I am one of those parents.  I will always be one of "those" parents.  I can tell you right now no one has her best interests in mind more than I do.  So I managed.  Made sure I always had a very good relationship with her coach.  And when it was time to leave and have her play at a higher level, we did.  After U12 we took her to a team she had guested with and felt comfortable with.  With a coach who had approached me about her playing at a higher level.  A team SHE picked.  It happened to be a team that played at the top level.  A team that had already had a lot of Success.   But the parents on that team welcomed us with open arms.  And the girls welcomed her.  She had guested with this team so she was already familiar.  But she was starting over.
> 
> Luckily everything worked out and playing for that team led to her being chosen to play for a pretty darn good team now.  This has led to her committing to some of her dream schools and picking a school which I believe is a great fit for her.  But I was by her side the whole way through.  From talking to the Ulittle coaches to becoming friends with her future coach.
> 
> ...


This was lovely and inspiring! Thank you!


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