# Things that make you go hmmm....



## timbuck (Jul 14, 2019)

Nope, not talking about the hit song by C+C Music factory from 1990





But let's start a running thread on things you see/hear at games (friendlies, league, tournaments, etc).  Try not to name names unless someone is complete fool and deserves to be called out.

I'll start:

1.  Woman sitting on sideline with the spectators from the other team.  Screaming all game long.  And I do mean all game long. Sitting in her chair.  Not sure she would be physically able to stand for an entire game. But she sure could yell the whole time.  (Happens every weekend somewhere.  Should the coach or team manager take responsibility here?  I've got no issue where you sit.  But if you are in the wrong place, tone it down a bit).

2. Team has 3 or 4 coaches under their tent.  Right before kickoff, one of the coaches runs over to the other sideline and starts chirping instructions to their team.  In full coach gear (track pants and a polo.  Not even trying to blend in as an overzealous parent).  While the other 2 coaches do their thing from the players side of the field.  Coach runs back and forth every 10 minutes to tell the other 2 guys some "intel" on how to make adjustments based on his view from 80 yards across the field.

3.  Girl is playing with her nose pierced.  Refs don't catch it pre-game.  Girl from opposing team tells the ref at halftime -"number xx has a nose ring in."
Ref asks the girl to remove it.  She says it doesn't come out.
Ref approaches opposing coach and says: "Girl has a nose ring that won't come out.  It is her responsibility if she gets hurt. "
Coach says "Since we do we allow earrings?"
Ref: "Its not an earring.  Its in her nose.  There is nothing in the rules about nose rings. We don't check for that."
Coach: "Ok man.  It's on you then if she gets hit in the face with a ball or something and that things causes some damage."


----------



## Frank (Jul 14, 2019)

Old man comes across the  field after the game today to tell refs “that he doesn’t often do this but he needed to tell me that I stole the game away from the kids”. Never mind that they missed (not saved) 4 kicks during the overtime kicks from the mark.   Has to be the refs fault. Couldn’t be that his team wasn’t good enough.


----------



## RedCard (Jul 14, 2019)

timbuck said:


> Nope, not talking about the hit song by C+C Music factory from 1990
> 
> 
> 
> ...


#1 - I usually find out who the team manager is and tell him/her that I will come to them first regarding out of control parents, grand parents, or whoever is behaving badly. If it continues, then I'll talk to the coach and have him/her take that long work across the field (which they hate) and have them dismiss the person. If they don't leave in a timely matter, game is over.

#2 - If a coach leaves the bench area, it's a verbal warning 1st, then a yellow, then red. Changes went into affect regarding this in Law 12:
The following offences should usually result in a warning; repeated or blatant offences should result in a caution or sending-off:

Warning

• entering the field of play in a respectful/non-confrontational manner
• failing to cooperate with a match official e.g. ignoring an instruction/request

from an assistant referee or the fourth official
• minor/low-level disagreement (by word or action) with a decision
• occasionally leaving the confines of the technical area without committing 
another offence

#3 - No jewelry period. Remove it or don't play. Law 4:

1. Safety

All items of jewellery (necklaces, rings, bracelets, earrings, leather bands, rubber bands, etc.) are forbidden and must be removed. Using tape to cover jewellery is not permitted.

The players must be inspected before the start of the match and substitutes before they enter the field of play. If a player is wearing or using unauthorised/ dangerous equipment or jewellery, the referee must order the player to:

• remove the item
• leave the field of play at the next stoppage if the player is unable or unwilling to comply
A player who refuses to comply or wears the item again must be cautioned.

As with what @Frank said regarding someone complaining after the game (which has happened with me more than a few times) I very calmly tell them when they go home, to goto the CalSouth website, click on the referee tab, and sign up for the next referee course so he/she can referee a game and see how easy it is running up and down the field and making split second decisions. They always walk away with a blank look.


----------



## Josep (Jul 15, 2019)

What level of play and age group does this stuff happen?  Haven’t seen this in years since U-littles.  It’s absurd. Most of the game I attend are really quiet.


----------



## electrichead72 (Jul 15, 2019)

You're a lucky guy Josep.

I don't think I've ever been to a game where some parent _wasn't_ yelling and screaming at someone. On my team or the other team.


----------



## Josep (Jul 15, 2019)

electrichead72 said:


> You're a lucky guy Josep.
> 
> I don't think I've ever been to a game where some parent _wasn't_ yelling and screaming at someone. On my team or the other team.



That’s too bad. Usually by the time they are older, parents have learned to keep it down and let the kids play.  That’s why I asked what age and level of play.


----------



## timbuck (Jul 15, 2019)

In my case above this was the 2004 age group.  Which is considered u16 in the Fall.


----------



## justneededaname (Jul 15, 2019)

My son's team did a tournament this weekend. They are a DA team and don't go to a lot of tournaments, so it has been a while since I have been on a tournament sideline. During the games I had several conversations with parents on our team about how we had forgotten how crazy parents were at tournaments an how nice the DA games are because the sidelines are so calm and quite. Sunday evening my son starts complaining. "Why are you [the parents] so quite on the sideline. You need to cheer more and make more noise. Like the parents on the other teams we played." I guess it is time to do dig out the vuvuzela from the garage, buy a couple of ratchets and cowbells and start bringing our A game to the sidelines.


----------



## Overlap (Jul 15, 2019)

lol, good stuff...we had one on our team the last few seasons, most everyone had seen and heard enough over the years and many just ignored her. It got so bad the last season, when I handed the player cards I always told the center which parent (what they were wearing) and please feel free to send her off when she starts shouting at you, it only took 1 send off and it kind of stopped, she'd then go down at the other end and sit by herself


----------



## Toepuncher (Jul 15, 2019)

timbuck said:


> Nope, not talking about the hit song by C+C Music factory from 1990
> 
> 
> 
> ...


Scenario #1 happened to me this weekend up in Davis. I made the mistake of sitting at the midfield, with the opponents parents sitting to the left of me. My 8 year old daughter was sitting next to me and she was even like what’s up with them. The parent on my team were looking at me  cause I was over in enemy territory. I thought it was funny cause they had no clue. I just sat there and listened. Some of the shit that came out of there Pie hole was unbelievable. Just thought I’d share.


----------



## Frank (Jul 15, 2019)

In my history, the older and the higher the level of play the quieter the sideline. Not every time, but in general it’s a fair statement.


----------



## timbuck (Jul 15, 2019)

Frank said:


> In my history, the older and the higher the level of play the quieter the sideline. Not every time, but in general it’s a fair statement.


Club and hometown also seem to factor in.  In general.


----------



## espola (Jul 15, 2019)

Frank said:


> In my history, the older and the higher the level of play the quieter the sideline. Not every time, but in general it’s a fair statement.


Perhaps because the older and higher the level the better the referees are that are assigned to those games.


----------



## electrichead72 (Jul 15, 2019)

Frank said:


> In my history, the older and the higher the level of play the quieter the sideline. Not every time, but in general it’s a fair statement.


In general, I would agree with this.

My son started on a new team a few months back. A Flight 1 team that is supposedly "scouted" by Academy teams and has players that have been on Academy teams.

I really didn't pay much attention to that, but my point is that it's an o4 boys team and a few of the dads are yelling at their kids, giving direction to them, that kinda thing. I don't get it, I learned a while ago to just keep quiet and let them play. They're not going to listen to you anyway.

Their yelling at the refs like that ever helps.

Even the teams my daughter's 01 team plays against has this issue.

I guess these parents haven't quite learned yet.


----------



## nofoul (Jul 15, 2019)

espola said:


> Perhaps because the older and higher the level the better the referees are that are assigned to those games.


Perhaps because the older and higher the level, the more the parents understand what the game is about instead of yelling "Handball, Offside, Bad Throw ...".


----------



## timbuck (Jul 15, 2019)

Walking back to the car, I over heard this conversation.  Male player.  Probably 16 years old.  Talking to an older male -  Either dad or grandfather.
Player:  "You don't need to yell at us during their goal kicks.  We are trying to trap the other team.  We try to look disorganized and then when they play the ball out. But we have a plan to pressure them into turning over the ball."


----------



## RedCard (Jul 15, 2019)

justneededaname said:


> My son's team did a tournament this weekend. They are a DA team and don't go to a lot of tournaments, so it has been a while since I have been on a tournament sideline. During the games I had several conversations with parents on our team about how we had forgotten how crazy parents were at tournaments an how nice the DA games are because the sidelines are so calm and quite. Sunday evening my son starts complaining. "Why are you [the parents] so quite on the sideline. You need to cheer more and make more noise. Like the parents on the other teams we played." I guess it is time to do dig out the vuvuzela from the garage, buy a couple of ratchets and cowbells and start bringing our A game to the sidelines.


My son's old DA team (which we just left) was the complete opposite. All the dads yelling at their kids and getting mad when another player makes a mistake (cause their kid won't make that mistake, no no no..). At the last game of the season, we were playing a pretty good team and the game was chippy. All of the dads were on the referee's ass, which imo, he was doing a really good job controlling the game. I'm just sitting back listening to all this crap and something happened where they went nuts over a call. The referee started to walk over to them and I just yelled out "I'll pay anyone of you fools $100 if you could go out there, run up and down the field while keeping up with the play and get every single call right". The referee looked at me, gave me a thumbs up and the sideline was quiet after that.


----------



## timbuck (Jul 15, 2019)

Clubs or league admins really need to try and get a handle on this crap.  Coach can’t do it from across the field.


----------



## Kicker4Life (Jul 15, 2019)

RedCard said:


> My son's old DA team (which we just left) was the complete opposite. All the dads yelling at their kids and getting mad when another player makes a mistake (cause their kid won't make that mistake, no no no..). At the last game of the season, we were playing a pretty good team and the game was chippy. All of the dads were on the referee's ass, which imo, he was doing a really good job controlling the game. I'm just sitting back listening to all this crap and something happened where they went nuts over a call. The referee started to walk over to them and I just yelled out "I'll pay anyone of you fools $100 if you could go out there, run up and down the field while keeping up with the play and get every single call right". The referee looked at me, gave me a thumbs up and the sideline was quiet after that.


Headphones were a great investment for me!


----------



## Frank (Jul 15, 2019)

I often hear parents calling their daughter mamma on the field.  It has always struck me as weird as these are typically 10-14yo girls.  What is that all about?


----------



## Messi>CR7 (Jul 16, 2019)

Frank said:


> I often hear parents calling their daughter mamma on the field.  It has always struck me as weird as these are typically 10-14yo girls.  What is that all about?


I think it's a form of affection in the Spanish culture (no expert here).  I've seen that often from our Spanish speaking friends on my DD's team.


----------



## MWN (Jul 16, 2019)

RedCard said:


> My son's old DA team (which we just left) was the complete opposite. All the dads yelling at their kids and getting mad when another player makes a mistake (cause their kid won't make that mistake, no no no..). At the last game of the season, we were playing a pretty good team and the game was chippy. All of the dads were on the referee's ass, which imo, he was doing a really good job controlling the game. I'm just sitting back listening to all this crap and something happened where they went nuts over a call. The referee started to walk over to them and I just yelled out "I'll pay anyone of you fools $100 if you could go out there, run up and down the field while keeping up with the play and get every single call right". The referee looked at me, gave me a thumbs up and the sideline was quiet after that.


The DA Refs tend to be the cream of the crop, fit and evaluated regularly, which is why I will never be a DA Ref.  Just fine with girls and boys U13 and under, I can keep up.


----------



## SoccerFan4Life (Jul 16, 2019)

When parents yell obscenities to refs or kids from the other team.    Hmmm, they must not have a life.  Lol.


----------



## outside! (Jul 16, 2019)

electrichead72 said:


> I really didn't pay much attention to that, but my point is that it's an o4 boys team and a few of the dads are yelling at their kids, giving direction to them, that kinda thing. I don't get it, I learned a while ago to just keep quiet and let them play. They're not going to listen to you anyway.


Even if they did listen, it would not matter most of the time. Sound takes more than a 1/4 of a second to travel 100 yards at sea level. So at typical soccer field distances, by the time a player hears mom or dad's instructions to shoot or whatever, the moment has passed.


----------



## beachbum (Jul 16, 2019)

timbuck said:


> Clubs or league admins really need to try and get a handle on this crap.  Coach can’t do it from across the field.


First parents should shut their pie hole and as adults should have the ability/maturity to let the kids play without their vulgarity.  A few years ago they changed the teams from sitting on opposite sides of the field with the parents on the same side as their team.  When you had this set up it did two positive things, kept opposing parents and coaches from potential conflict and and enabled the coach to control his own sideline behavior.  And yes i agree it should not have to come to this but we have all seen bad parent behavior.


----------



## espola (Jul 16, 2019)

beachbum said:


> First parents should shut their pie hole and as adults should have the ability/maturity to let the kids play without their vulgarity.  A few years ago they changed the teams from sitting on opposite sides of the field with the parents on the same side as their team.  When you had this set up it did two positive things, kept opposing parents and coaches from potential conflict and and enabled the coach to control his own sideline behavior.  And yes i agree it should not have to come to this but we have all seen bad parent behavior.


A problem I have observed with the new arrangement is that some parents (GK parents especially) move into the enemy campground for half the game.


----------



## focused1 (Jul 16, 2019)

espola said:


> A problem I have observed with the new arrangement is that some parents (GK parents especially) move into the enemy campground for half the game.


Saw that a lot in Davis this weekend with G03's...sorta weird. Seems to me that 50 yards or so of sideline should be enough and you shouldn't need to move into the opposing sides seating area


----------



## Multi Sport (Jul 16, 2019)

focused1 said:


> Saw that a lot in Davis this weekend with G03's...sorta weird. Seems to me that 50 yards or so of sideline should be enough and you shouldn't need to move into the opposing sides seating area


Why is that an issue? As long as your just sitting and watching it shouldn't be a big deal. I do it all the time. If someone comes over and says something I tell them who my kid is then ask who their kid is. I usually compliment their kid and that's the end of the story.


----------



## focused1 (Jul 16, 2019)

Multi Sport said:


> Why is that an issue? As long as your just sitting and watching it shouldn't be a big deal. I do it all the time. If someone comes over and says something I tell them who my kid is then ask who their kid is. I usually compliment their kid and that's the end of the story.


You're right...as long as you're sitting and watching. Not always the case...


----------



## pewpew (Jul 16, 2019)

espola said:


> A problem I have observed with the new arrangement is that some parents (GK parents especially) move into the enemy campground for half the game.


GK parents don’t get to see as much of their player play during one half of the game if they don’t move. Field player parents can see more of  their player for the majority of the game. If I’m on my GKs side for first half and depending on the tempo of the game (score/sideline behavior/etc) I’ll move to the other side and sit by the flag. It’s a great way for me to see where my GK made good plays and bad ones to talk about after the game. 
I usually keep quiet unless my GK makes a great play..then I might say “good job” just loud enough for my player to hear and leave it at that. One time that happened and a few parents said “hey you’re on the wrong side”. I said “yeah I know..but my kid is coming back from an injury. I want to be close just in case.” (Which was the truth.) They were cool after that.


----------



## LASTMAN14 (Jul 16, 2019)

espola said:


> A problem I have observed with the new arrangement is that some parents (GK parents especially) move into the enemy campground for half the game.


Hold on, you were at a youth game. Your children are in there 30’s. Now that’s a lie. If you even attended a youth game and I’m sure your answer will be a circular one with no real answers. Yet, you expect everyone to give you one. What a joke of a question.


----------



## Multi Sport (Jul 16, 2019)

focused1 said:


> You're right...as long as you're sitting and watching. Not always the case...


I agree but you don't have to be sitting on the "wrong" side to cause a problem. Parents from opposing teams sit within 20' of each other , a few feet if they are at midfield. 

Best interaction I had was with a parent from the other team while he was taking pics of his daughter in goal on our side of the field. We ended up talking about the colleges our kids had visited and how different the schools were in parts of the country, the difference in team/club philosophies and soccer in general.


----------



## LASTMAN14 (Jul 16, 2019)

Multi Sport said:


> I agree but you don't have to be sitting on the "wrong" side to cause a problem. Parents from opposing teams sit within 20' of each other , a few feet if they are at midfield.
> 
> Best interaction I had was with a parent from the other team while he was taking pics of his daughter in goal on our side of the field. We ended up talking about the colleges our kids had visited and how different the schools were in parts of the country, the difference in team/club philosophies and soccer in general.


Totally agree. Most parents that I have cordial conversations with and who have introduced themselves to me have been great. All the while sitting behind the net, to the side or just in corners.


----------



## LASTMAN14 (Jul 16, 2019)

LASTMAN14 said:


> Hold on, you were at a youth game. Your children are in there 30’s. Now that’s a lie. If you even attended a youth game and I’m sure your answer will be a circular one with no real answers. Yet, you expect everyone to give you one. What a joke of a question.


Wait, don’t answer. It’s like watching gold fish chase each other in a small tank. Useless.


----------



## espola (Jul 16, 2019)

LASTMAN14 said:


> Hold on, you were at a youth game. Your children are in there 30’s. Now that’s a lie. If you even attended a youth game and I’m sure your answer will be a circular one with no real answers. Yet, you expect everyone to give you one. What a joke of a question.


Answer to what?

My oldest will be 29 in August.  He played in youth soccer games until 2010 (USL Super-20), and he was a coach of one or two youth teams each year until he moved to Sacramento a couple of years ago - I attended many of those games.  The last couple of years I have attended games in which my niece was playing (she is just entering high school), usually at the El Corazon fields in Oceanside or the Polo Grounds in Del Mar. 

Here is a family picture from last Labor Day weekend --


----------



## espola (Jul 17, 2019)

espola said:


> Here is a family picture from last Labor Day weekend --


My mistake - that was in August, not Labor Day weekend.


----------



## ToonArmy (Jul 17, 2019)

Multi Sport said:


> I agree but you don't have to be sitting on the "wrong" side to cause a problem. Parents from opposing teams sit within 20' of each other , a few feet if they are at midfield.
> 
> Best interaction I had was with a parent from the other team while he was taking pics of his daughter in goal on our side of the field. We ended up talking about the colleges our kids had visited and how different the schools were in parts of the country, the difference in team/club philosophies and soccer in general.


Same. Happened with me in AZ RSL and my daughter scored got one past his daughter and he did nothing but compliment as I did on her good plays. Minus the college talk not quite there in age yet.


----------



## watfly (Jul 17, 2019)

outside! said:


> Even if they did listen, it would not matter most of the time. Sound takes more than a 1/4 of a second to travel 100 yards at sea level. So at typical soccer field distances, by the time a player hears mom or dad's instructions to shoot or whatever, the moment has passed.


Many coaches don't understand that concept as well.  Please, no coaching will the ball is rolling.  Coaches that don't understand that concept are poor coaches.


----------



## outside! (Jul 17, 2019)

Coaches should coach the players that do not have the ball.


----------



## Multi Sport (Jul 17, 2019)

outside! said:


> Coaches should coach the players that do not have the ball.


I never understood the mentality of having one coach. Soccer has defensive, offensive concepts and within those concepts of what to do on and off the ball. As long as the coaches subscribe to the same philosophy I see no problem with having a coach who's sole responsibility is to work with the defenders when the ball is in the attacking third, especially in the youngers.


----------



## timbuck (Jul 17, 2019)

Multi Sport said:


> I never understood the mentality of having one coach. Soccer has defensive, offensive concepts and within those concepts of what to do on and off the ball. As long as the coaches subscribe to the same philosophy I see no problem with having a coach who's sole responsibility is to work with the defenders when the ball is in the attacking third, especially in the youngers.


Because in a perfect soccer world-  everyone attacks and everyone defends.


----------



## Multi Sport (Jul 17, 2019)

timbuck said:


> Because in a perfect soccer world-  everyone attacks and everyone defends.


The question is how you teach that to a 10 year old. If a there is a coach who focusses on that aspect during the game then maybe by the time the kid is a teen they will have it down.


----------



## watfly (Jul 17, 2019)

outside! said:


> Coaches should coach the players that do not have the ball.


IMO not even then.  Movement off the ball is as important as movement with the ball, a player's decision making can't be interrupted by coach yelling instructions during active play.  A player will never learn to make his own decisions if they're being joysticked by the coach.  It stunts their soccer IQ.  Their is plenty of time for a coach to give instructions during stoppages of play, substitutions, half-time, practices etc.

This past season my son had two coaches (who disliked each other) that often would give contradictory instructions during games, not to mention some of our parents sideline coaching.  My son was already ignoring the parents, but it got so bad with the coaches that I had to tell him to tune out the coaches instructions when he had the ball and to make his own decisions.


----------



## Multi Sport (Jul 17, 2019)

watfly said:


> IMO not even then.  Movement off the ball is as important as movement with the ball, a player's decision making can't be interrupted by coach yelling instructions during active play.  A player will never learn to make his own decisions if they're being joysticked by the coach.  It stunts their soccer IQ.  Their is plenty of time for a coach to give instructions during stoppages of play, substitutions, half-time, practices etc.
> 
> *This past season my son had two coaches (who disliked each other) that often would give contradictory instructions during games*, not to mention some of our parents sideline coaching.  My son was already ignoring the parents, but it got so bad with the coaches that I had to tell him to tune out the coaches instructions when he had the ball and to make his own decisions.


That would be the danger of two or more coaches. I think the idea that coaches just sit and watch the game is misleading because if you watch the European leagues coaches are up barking orders. Obviously they are not joysticking but they are directing.


----------



## watfly (Jul 17, 2019)

Multi Sport said:


> That would be the danger of two or more coaches. I think the idea that coaches just sit and watch the game is misleading because if you watch the European leagues coaches are up barking orders. Obviously they are not joysticking but they are directing.


I doubt any of those coaches are telling their players when to pass, who to pass it to or when to shoot etc.  I suspect the instructions they are giving are generally tactical in nature.  Even then I suspect the players hear very little of it (in a stadium full of thousands of spectators) and most of what the coaches say while the ball is rolling is just for their own benefit so they feel like they are contributing.  I'm not opposed to coaching guidance during the game at the appropriate times.  However, in the moment player decision making shouldn't be interrupted.


----------



## outside! (Jul 17, 2019)

watfly said:


> IMO not even then.  Movement off the ball is as important as movement with the ball, a player's decision making can't be interrupted by coach yelling instructions during active play.  A player will never learn to make his own decisions if they're being joysticked by the coach.  It stunts their soccer IQ.  Their is plenty of time for a coach to give instructions during stoppages of play, substitutions, half-time, practices etc.
> 
> This past season my son had two coaches (who disliked each other) that often would give contradictory instructions during games, not to mention some of our parents sideline coaching.  My son was already ignoring the parents, but it got so bad with the coaches that I had to tell him to tune out the coaches instructions when he had the ball and to make his own decisions.


We have been lucky to have some good coaches for our kids. Telling a defender to mark a certain player, or shouting "playerx has two marks" or telling a player to move to a certain area and then a few seconds later that player is in the right place at the right time is the one of the marks of a good game coach.


----------



## espola (Jul 18, 2019)

Multi Sport said:


> The question is how you teach that to a 10 year old. If a there is a coach who focusses on that aspect during the game then maybe by the time the kid is a teen they will have it down.


We had a hard time even getting a 10-year-old to get back onside after he missed a shot.


----------



## LASTMAN14 (Jul 20, 2019)

Thought this was a interesting and funny hmmm...

https://www.espn.com/soccer/blog-the-toe-poke/story/3901154/toe-poke-daily-messironaldo-and-footballs-biggest-stars-put-through-faceapp


----------



## timbuck (Sep 23, 2019)

A few weekend headscratchers-
1.  Opposing team dad.  Wearing cargo shorts and flip flops (because this is the outfit of all sideline offenders).  Standing at midfield.  Flapping his arms and twisting his body with every play.  Chirping for a "handball" over and over again.  Play happened 5 minutes ago and the guy is still asking for it.  There's a bump at midfield. His team player fell down.  No call.  Guys yells "You gotta throw the flag for that."  (I think he wanted 15 yards for "roughing the kicker").

2.  At the end of practice on Wednesday, my kid can't find her ball.  She wanders over to the half of the field that another team from her club was using.  Finds her ball in the coaches pile of balls.  Her name is in *BIG RED* letters on the ball.  And our phone number.  She brings the ball back and there is blue marker trying to cover up her red name.  And the other coaches name has been written on her ball 3 times in black and blue sharpie.


----------



## outside! (Sep 23, 2019)

timbuck said:


> A few weekend headscratchers-2.  At the end of practice on Wednesday, my kid can't find her ball.  She wanders over to the half of the field that another team from her club was using.  Finds her ball in the coaches pile of balls.  Her name is in *BIG RED* letters on the ball.  And our phone number.  She brings the ball back and there is blue marker trying to cover up her red name.  And the other coaches name has been written on her ball 3 times in black and blue sharpie.


I would be curious to what the coach in question and the DOC had to say about that.


----------



## ToonArmy (Sep 23, 2019)

timbuck said:


> A few weekend headscratchers-
> 1.  Opposing team dad.  Wearing cargo shorts and flip flops (because this is the outfit of all sideline offenders).  Standing at midfield.  Flapping his arms and twisting his body with every play.  Chirping for a "handball" over and over again.  Play happened 5 minutes ago and the guy is still asking for it.  There's a bump at midfield. His team player fell down.  No call.  Guys yells "You gotta throw the flag for that."  (I think he wanted 15 yards for "roughing the kicker").
> 
> 2.  At the end of practice on Wednesday, my kid can't find her ball.  She wanders over to the half of the field that another team from her club was using.  Finds her ball in the coaches pile of balls.  Her name is in *BIG RED* letters on the ball.  And our phone number.  She brings the ball back and there is blue marker trying to cover up her red name.  And the other coaches name has been written on her ball 3 times in black and blue sharpie.


----------



## socalkdg (Sep 23, 2019)

Multi Sport said:


> That would be the danger of two or more coaches. I think the idea that coaches just sit and watch the game is misleading because if you watch the European leagues coaches are up barking orders. Obviously they are not joysticking but they are directing.


Basketball game this weekend.  We had 8 players, 4 coaches.   I swear all I could hear was my daughters name being yelled by one of them to do this or do that or good job or what not.   WAY TO MANY.   I'm thinking if we can to 8 coaches then each coach will be responsible for one player.


----------



## 1dad2boys (Sep 23, 2019)

Had a game this weekend with parents of both teams sitting amongst each other. Had a nice pre-game chat with the family next us as we got to know each other. Next thing I know I am being offered a homemade taco and a water. Then at the end of the game, it was hugs and wishing good luck to each other. One of the best parent interactions I have had in 10 years of youth soccer. Plan to pay it forward.


----------



## ToonArmy (Sep 23, 2019)

socalkdg said:


> Basketball game this weekend.  We had 8 players, 4 coaches.   I swear all I could hear was my daughters name being yelled by one of them to do this or do that or good job or what not.   WAY TO MANY.   I'm thinking if we can to 8 coaches then each coach will be responsible for one player.


Same but soccer at my son's ayso or whatever rec league it is. 7v7 with 3 coaches each of them wearing the same color t-shirt as the boys  with shirt but "coach" written on the back and standing about 10 yards from each other on the sideline screaming the most backwards wrong instructions and then let the kids know they screwed it up. My dad kept telling me to give my son proper instruction or help when the kid was clueless what to do and I said no I don't want to step on the coaches toes they are volunteering their time and I'm not willing or available to do that but I could only take so much


----------



## oh canada (Sep 23, 2019)

Mom with opposing team's player in front of us at Subway after the game.  Gets through entire Subway line making their two sandwiches and at the register.  Realizes her wallet is at home, not in her purse--no ccards, no cash.  Kid behind the register didn't know what to do.  Mom and kid start to walk out, leaving their 6-inchers and chips behind.  Can't let that happen...so, covered their food and told them to "pay it forward".  If they were "footlongs", I wouldn't have paid for it  .


----------



## Banana Hammock (Sep 23, 2019)

FYI from SCDSL

"
The link below is a great watch and explanation about youth sports referees and why they are quitting which then explains why we have such a shortage of referees. Referees just don't want to put up with the continued abuse. Put yourselve in the shoes of the person you are verbally abusing. How would you feel if you were being yelled at, cussed at, followed to your car and threatened? Would you want to keep doing a job where you are constantly abused? How, as a parent, would you feel if your child was a youth referee and some out-of-control parent was cussing at him/her, following them to the parking lot or making them cry out of fear? My kids refereed 1-day and then quit because the parents were so brutal.

This past weekend we continued to have parents sent-off at record rates. Including a father of a 2008 player for verbally abusing and physically intimidating 2 youth referees. That parent is now banned for the remainder of the season. Another situation where two G05 players got in to a fight and the mother of one of the players (instead of pulling her daighter out of the fight) jumped in to attack the player her daughter was fighting with. This mother is now banned too.

Presidio has taken the steps that if ANY parent from ANY team is sent-off during the game then the WHOLE sideline is banned from attending the next game. My initial thoughts were that seemed to be a bit excessive and extreme but if parents continue to behave the way they are, we may have to look at extreme options moving forward. I'd like to think that, as a league, we have better sidelines than that and we shouldn't need to ban everyone but we can't rule anything out if this problem keeps up.

I will say that the majority of the parents on the sideline are great and not a problem. I certainly don't classify everyone as problem parents and I really don't want to implement punishment for everyone due to the actions of a few. But it's the actions of a few, and getting to be more than a few, that are causing big problems in the game for our children.

Coaches should lead by GOOD example. When coaches go crazy the parents tend to follow. We should have higher standards of ourselves when it comes to our children and how we behave in front of them. My kids would be horrified if I had even been sent-off from a game for verbally or physically abusing referres, players or parents. I keep saying - referees are human, they make mistakes, sometimes bad mistakes but if you think you can do a better job, take the referee course and get out there and officiate some games and see how that goes. Be part of the solution, not part of the problem.

Please help your parents to understand that this is a problem that must get brought under control and please share this link with them."

https://www.foxnews.com/sports/youth-sports-officials-referees-quitting-record-rates-blaming-parents


----------



## timbuck (Sep 23, 2019)

It's time to put the team and the parents on the same sideline.


----------



## jpeter (Sep 23, 2019)

timbuck said:


> It's time to put the team and the parents on the same sideline.


Paid Beer/wine garden for the civil parents, free octagon for the unruly.  Refs can pick a fighter to represent vs any body with a beef.

Otherwise let's get some affordable other options,  at least for the sidelines


----------



## greekgirl (Sep 23, 2019)

This is from Presidio this week....Sportsanity

Below is a great article about how sideline behavior  affects our young athletes. Please make a point to forward this email to the parents on your team. I know I have grown as a parent on the sidelines from when my children were young, trust me my kids appreciate it ( :

It's Time to End the Sideline Sportsanity - Changing the Game Project

As soon as I stepped out of my car in the parking lot, I could hear it. It was a beautiful Saturday afternoon of travel soccer, but there it was. You know what I’m talking about: that sometimes beautiful, often times excruciating cacophony of sounds that we have come to know as “cheering for our kids” during a typical youth sporting event.  

https://changingthegameproject.com/time-end-sideline-sportsanity/


----------



## Poconos (Sep 23, 2019)

Banana Hammock said:


> The link below is a great watch and explanation about youth sports referees and why they are quitting which then explains why we have such a shortage of referees.


Our superb team Mom/Mngr sent your superb post to all team parents.  Your sentiment is going to make the rounds.  I can't say I've ever really even harangued a ref, but I don't think I'll say anything other than thank you going forward (which I try to do anyway).


----------



## timbuck (Nov 4, 2019)

Coach this weekend. Barking orders all game long.  Good team.  They beat us. 
“You need to think. I can’t do all of the thinking for you.”  
Umm-  bro- you never gave them a chance to think.  I bet they would have been fine if you had shut up a little.  #englishaccent


----------



## Paul Spacey (Nov 4, 2019)

timbuck said:


> Coach this weekend. Barking orders all game long.  Good team.  They beat us.
> “You need to think. I can’t do all of the thinking for you.”
> Umm-  bro- you never gave them a chance to think.  I bet they would have been fine if you had shut up a little.  #englishaccent


In the 7 years I've lived here, probably 90% of the English coaches (you could say British but it's mostly English to be fair) I've seen/heard act this way. I think they genuinely believe the accent means they have to talk constantly and pretend they know the game better than everyone else in the world. It's all for the parents btw, not the kids. Prove yourself to the parents and you keep your job.

There are actually some good ones out there but for 90%, three words sum them up.

Arrogant. 
Insecure.
Dinosaur.


----------



## forksnbolts (Nov 5, 2019)

Paul Spacey said:


> In the 7 years I've lived here, probably 90% of the English coaches (you could say British but it's mostly English to be fair) I've seen/heard act this way. I think they genuinely believe the accent means they have to talk constantly and pretend they know the game better than everyone else in the world. It's all for the parents btw, not the kids. Prove yourself to the parents and you keep your job.
> 
> There are actually some good ones out there but for 90%, three words sum them up.
> 
> ...


I saw a coach give up coaching his team mid game because "they would not listen to him".


----------

