# How to do two tryouts simultaneously?



## seesnake (Nov 2, 2017)

Annoyingly, clubs tend to schedule tryouts at precisely the same times. How do you manage to get your players to both tryouts? Any brilliant ideas? Thanks.


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## timbuck (Nov 2, 2017)

Email the coach and try to attend one of their training sessions instead of a tryout.


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## Woobie06 (Nov 2, 2017)

Completely agree 100%....Our DD switched teams after State Cup this year, but started training with the new team in November  2016 and guest played in a few tournaments.  It was a great way to test drive before making the change....we were able to evaluate the coach, parents, and the kids to make sure it was the right environment for DD and that we could stand the parents.


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## Fact (Nov 2, 2017)

Woobie06 said:


> Completely agree 100%....Our DD switched teams after State Cup this year, but started training with the new team in November  2016 and guest played in a few tournaments.  It was a great way to test drive before making the change....we were able to evaluate the coach, parents, and the kids to make sure it was the right environment for DD and that we could stand the parents.


Plus, if you wait until tryouts, many coaches have already selected their teams unless you are an amazing impact player for that team. (especially higher level teams).


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## Not_that_Serious (Nov 2, 2017)

Fact said:


> Plus, if you wait until tryouts, many coaches have already selected their teams unless you are an amazing impact player for that team. (especially higher level teams).


yeah mostly the big clubs who preach "better get in or be left out". people buy into that BS. if your kid is good theyll find a spot. hell theyll find a spot on the money team too. 99% of the time they are full of crap if they say they dont have room unless its academy or a flight 1 with maxed out rosters


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## coachrefparent (Nov 2, 2017)

seesnake said:


> Annoyingly, clubs tend to schedule tryouts at precisely the same times. How do you manage to get your players to both tryouts? Any brilliant ideas? Thanks.


Lots of good advice above, but no you can't get to both tryouts at the same time.


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## MyDaughtersAKeeper (Nov 3, 2017)

Clubs pull this garbage to try to force you to pick the club you are going to commit to.  As the posters above have noted, most of the teams are picked before tryouts; despite what the clubs tells you.  Get out early and workout with the club and coach you are interested in.  Good luck to you and your kid.


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## sandshark (Nov 3, 2017)

If your kid is wanting to change the club or team I find in one practice session the new team/coach knows if he has a fit for her. 
As far as you wanting to know what the parents and coach are really about you should go sit on their sidelines during one of their games to see them in a real game situation.


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## Eagle33 (Nov 3, 2017)

seesnake said:


> Annoyingly, clubs tend to schedule tryouts at precisely the same times. How do you manage to get your players to both tryouts? Any brilliant ideas? Thanks.


Clone your player!


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## timbuck (Nov 3, 2017)

seesnake said:


> Annoyingly, clubs tend to schedule tryouts at precisely the same times. How do you manage to get your players to both tryouts? Any brilliant ideas? Thanks.


I'm sure that some clubs do look at what other clubs schedule and try to do things at the same time.  But I don't think they are that calculating. 
Only so many days in the week and hours in the day for a tryout.


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## 46n2 (Nov 3, 2017)

why wait for tryouts , if theres a team your kid and you like , ask to practice with them first.  Ultimately its a two way street.  You have to make sure if works for you and you child as well.....Last thing you want to do is make a move that ultimately you'll regret, wrong coach, wrong style of play, etc....Good Luck and have fun.


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## BarcaLover (Nov 3, 2017)

MyDaughtersAKeeper said:


> Clubs pull this garbage to try to force you to pick the club you are going to commit to.  As the posters above have noted, most of the teams are picked before tryouts; despite what the clubs tells you.  Get out early and workout with the club and coach you are interested in.  Good luck to you and your kid.


The conspiracy theorists are out in full force. 

Do realize how limited field space is?  You think clubs are really gonna try and coordinate their tryout day/time for a specific age group so that a U11 kid can't attend another club's tryout?

Most clubs are just happy to be able to have enough space to be able to get all of their tryouts in.


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## MyDaughtersAKeeper (Nov 3, 2017)

BarcaLover said:


> The conspiracy theorists are out in full force.
> 
> Do realize how limited field space is?  You think clubs are really gonna try and coordinate their tryout day/time for a specific age group so that a U11 kid can't attend another club's tryout?
> in.


Call it what you want. And in answer to your questions;  there isn’t a shortage of field space, especially if you space out the tryouts.  And yes, I think that is exactly what they do.  Don’t be naive or a club apologist.  This is a business and the clubs want to limit your options.


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## Striker17 (Nov 3, 2017)

MyDaughtersAKeeper said:


> Call it what you want. And in answer to your questions;  there isn’t a shortage of field space, especially if you space out the tryouts.  And yes, I think that is exactly what they do.  Don’t be naive or a club apologist.  This is a business and the clubs want to limit your options.


Yes especially since this suddenly changed a few years ago. Just all of the sudden! Hmmmmm


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## Multi Sport (Nov 3, 2017)

seesnake said:


> Annoyingly, clubs tend to schedule tryouts at precisely the same times. How do you manage to get your players to both tryouts? Any brilliant ideas? Thanks.


Usually clubs will do a two day tryout. Just attend one day and go to the other tryout next day.


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## socalkdg (Nov 3, 2017)

Eagle33 said:


> Clone your player!


This.   My daughter is the keeper, but also top 2 in speed and loves to play forward.  This way she could now do both.     Plus play DA and play High School.  My wife wouldn't mind a clone of herself to help with laundry and ubering the kids around.


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## chargerfan (Nov 3, 2017)

socalkdg said:


> This.   My daughter is the keeper, but also top 2 in speed and loves to play forward.  This way she could now do both.     Plus play DA and play High School.  My wife wouldn't mind a clone of herself to help with laundry and ubering the kids around.


Maybe YOU could help with laundry and driving the kids around


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## socalkdg (Nov 3, 2017)

chargerfan said:


> Maybe YOU could help with laundry and driving the kids around


Well put, but then I would need a clone of myself so I could be at work and at home when she does the driving and laundry.   I do my fair share of driving in the evenings after getting home from work.  Actually some of the best times spent with the kids as they aren't distracted by other things and you have a chance to chat about their day, about life, or the newest movie hitting the theaters.

Does anyone feel weird attending the practice of another team while still on a team?


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## timbuck (Nov 3, 2017)

socalkdg said:


> Well put, but then I would need a clone of myself so I could be at work and at home when she does the driving and laundry.   I do my fair share of driving in the evenings after getting home from work.  Actually some of the best times spent with the kids as they aren't distracted by other things and you have a chance to chat about their day, about life, or the newest movie hitting the theaters.
> 
> Does anyone feel weird attending the practice of another team while still on a team?


It is weird.  But don't feel weird.  It's the fault of the clubs for even thinking about tryouts while the season is still underway.  Your contract typically says something about the season lasting through State Cup.  But clubs will look to add players before the calendar turns to another year.


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## BarcaLover (Nov 3, 2017)

MyDaughtersAKeeper said:


> Call it what you want. And in answer to your questions;  there isn’t a shortage of field space, especially if you space out the tryouts.  And yes, I think that is exactly what they do.  Don’t be naive or a club apologist.  This is a business and the clubs want to limit your options.


I'll just speak from my experience.....I don't care when other club's tryouts are.  If you think there is a better option for you, go take a look.  If you are happy with what you are getting with me, I have nothing to worry about.

I can just tell you that I don't care when other clubs are running their tryouts, its the furthest thing from my mind.  I'm focused on making my players and teams as good as they can be and the rest will take care of itself.  If I provide a good experience for my players and parents then I shouldn't worry about other club's tryouts.

Maybe I'm in the minority here.....


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## Eagle33 (Nov 3, 2017)

timbuck said:


> It is weird.  But don't feel weird.  It's the fault of the clubs for even thinking about tryouts while the season is still underway.  Your contract typically says something about the season lasting through State Cup.  But clubs will look to add players before the calendar turns to another year.


The reason for early tryouts. 
For many teams Fall season will be over this weekend. Transfer window opens after Thanksgiving. You can add players anytime before State Cup roster freeze. Whatever your league tells you about players can't leave before State Cup is over, in many cases will be overruled by Cal South transfer rule.


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## Socal United (Nov 3, 2017)

BarcaLover said:


> I'll just speak from my experience.....I don't care when other club's tryouts are.  If you think there is a better option for you, go take a look.  If you are happy with what you are getting with me, I have nothing to worry about.
> 
> I can just tell you that I don't care when other clubs are running their tryouts, its the furthest thing from my mind.  I'm focused on making my players and teams as good as they can be and the rest will take care of itself.  If I provide a good experience for my players and parents then I shouldn't worry about other club's tryouts.
> 
> Maybe I'm in the minority here.....


You are in the minority but I agree 100%.  Parents ask me what I think, I have no problem telling them what I think.  If you are up front with your families then you will have nothing to worry about.   I don't mind when new people come out, if they email and ask if they can come out I don't mind.  I don't think the families should feel weird unless the coach says he is here to take his spot.  If the player is really good, the parents who care are the ones that know they are at the back end of the team.  I would never let my kid just go to a tryout, I always send him to at least one practice of the team to get a feel for the kids, coaches, etc.  

As for those conspiracy theorists, you are giving way too much credence to them being similar.  For all of those that use parks, especially in SD, your usage priority ends 12/31.  Clubs then have to take small areas on the outskirts of the baseball and softball fields, not really conducive to holding tryouts.  It becomes very, very limited as to what you can do.  Obviously, those that have their own facility can do it whenever they want because they don't have to share.  Lastly, for those that say teams are picked, I disagree.  If I have 10 kids and no new kids come, those kids are good to go.  If I have 10 and 4 very good players come, then I am keeping 6.  I have never gone into it with my team picked, why limit myself?


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## Chalklines (Nov 3, 2017)

Woobie06 said:


> Completely agree 100%....Our DD switched teams after State Cup this year, but started training with the new team in November  2016 and guest played in a few tournaments.  It was a great way to test drive before making the change....we were able to evaluate the coach, parents, and the kids to make sure it was the right environment for DD and that we could stand the parents.




Why should parents even be a concern?

Is this the new snow fake excuse if your kids doesn't pan out on the team? We now blame Jimmys parents for our kids failures?

Ive been a coach (not soccer) for many years and this is the first and only place ive seen this referenced over and over again.

Its about the kids right? Its also about your son or daughter enjoying their team. Who cares about the parents if its a good situation for the ones who matter.


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## seesnake (Nov 3, 2017)

Thanks everyone. I appreciate the confirmation of my inclination to simply get my kiddo involved in some training with coaches who I think might be a good fit. 

I know for fact that two clubs schedule at exactly the same time to force commitments.


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## MyDaughtersAKeeper (Nov 3, 2017)

Socal United said:


> As for those conspiracy theorists, you are giving way too much credence to them being similar.  For all of those that use parks, especially in SD, your usage priority ends 12/31.  Clubs then have to take small areas on the outskirts of the baseball and softball fields, not really conducive to holding tryouts.  It becomes very, very limited as to what you can do.  Obviously, those that have their own facility can do it whenever they want because they don't have to share.


I am sure that LAGSD and Surf having tryouts the same week was a coincidence: 

http://lagalaxysd.com/tryout/ 
http://www.surfsoccer.com/2017/09/15/tryouts-2018/

Had either club realized that they could potentially making it hard for kids to tryout for both they would have moved the dates.  Especially since both seem to have control over their fields.


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## Striker17 (Nov 3, 2017)

That can’t be true! They love sharing the talent in the ten mile radius. Blasphemy! 
You silly conspiracy theorist you!


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## smellycleats (Nov 3, 2017)

socalkdg said:


> Well put, but then I would need a clone of myself so I could be at work and at home when she does the driving and laundry.   I do my fair share of driving in the evenings after getting home from work.  Actually some of the best times spent with the kids as they aren't distracted by other things and you have a chance to chat about their day, about life, or the newest movie hitting the theaters.
> 
> Does anyone feel weird attending the practice of another team while still on a team?


Nope


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## chargerfan (Nov 3, 2017)

MyDaughtersAKeeper said:


> I am sure that LAGSD and Surf having tryouts the same week was a coincidence:
> 
> http://lagalaxysd.com/tryout/
> http://www.surfsoccer.com/2017/09/15/tryouts-2018/
> ...


Add sharks into that mix


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## Toch (Nov 3, 2017)

Not_that_Serious said:


> yeah mostly the big clubs who preach "better get in or be left out". people buy into that BS. if your kid is good theyll find a spot. hell theyll find a spot on the money team too. 99% of the time they are full of crap if they say they dont have room unless its academy or a flight 1 with maxed out rosters


If your kid is good. They will make room even on a flight 1 Team


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## Bananacorner (Nov 3, 2017)

Chalklines said:


> Why should parents even be a concern?
> 
> Is this the new snow fake excuse if your kids doesn't pan out on the team? We now blame Jimmys parents for our kids failures?
> 
> ...


Yes who cares about how obnoxious the parents are?  Except... that one in a million parent who makes everyone’s life hell. Yes it happened to me. This parent was constantly hassling the coaching staff to get what he wanted (starting/ more playing time/ offensive position) for his daughter. He would start with a new coach early and subtly working it. His MO was to criticize the other kids as well. This would involve comments dropped to the coaches in conversation, other parents, for example.  There were several practices where coaches time was taken up by this parent over talking nonstop to him about his daughter. And you say - I would just get rid of him!  Easier said than done. This parent has been able to do this repeatedly to several coaches, and DOCs. Not sure how, but whatever he says/does/threatens - it works  

But most annoying, he loved sitting on the sideline of practices and games shouting to the players. He did it just enough that the coach couldn’t hear it consistently, but the girls could. And the other parents. 

Every time a girl who he felt his daughter was in competition with touched the ball, he would comment, shout direction, roll his eyes and snort, or ask the parent of the girl why she just lost the ball instead of passing it. 

If a coach disagreed with him or didn’t do what he wanted, he would slowly and methodically develop an attack, which usually culminated in a letter/petition to the DOC about the coach with signatures from other parents on the team. Did it work?  All I can say is that at the last club, 2 of 3 coaches who coached his daughter are no longer with the club. 

So yes, I look around at who the other parents are. Should it matter?  No. Does it?  Hell, yes.


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## Socal United (Nov 3, 2017)

MyDaughtersAKeeper said:


> I am sure that LAGSD and Surf having tryouts the same week was a coincidence:
> 
> http://lagalaxysd.com/tryout/
> http://www.surfsoccer.com/2017/09/15/tryouts-2018/
> ...


I believe SDSC is doing that youngers week as well.  We have little control over our fields, we had to cancel games in October so they could play a softball tournament.  Love those City fields....   The other issue in December is the different winter breaks.  Clubs don't want to do it the following week as they might have because that is the start of break for SDUSD and other districts.


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## sandshark (Nov 4, 2017)

Be careful when exploring other clubs while still playing on your current team, sometimes it best to tell your current coach what your doing and others times it is not.
You have coaches that talk to each other at times and the word spreads fast, also parents of other teams sometimes love to talk to each other and start problems, and of course some as innocent conversations, but many as feeling threatened so they want to cause issues. Then you have to remember the players from opposing teams are often friends and will talk over social media. 
I personally have found honesty and telling your current coach face to face that your exploring other options is the best example for your child. 

Keep in mind a lot of these coaches are major ego maniacs and make everything more about themselves then what's best for you child. 
I personally watched a girl literally get kicked off an ALBION Sc team after the coach found out she had attended another clubs practice. This coach Earnie Romero walked up to this 14/15 yr old girl in front of her team and told her to take a hike, he literally did this out loud in front of her team and about 10 other teams he told her "blame your parents it's thier fault!" She was crying and embarrassed as she walked away, he smiled and turned around as if he just won a contest! This was far from the first time or the last time that coach made an example of what happens to little girls that cross him by looking at outside teams. So BEWARE thier are monsters with huge ego's willing to use little kids to prove their all mighty power over children and thier family's. 

Still the best way to "try out" is be honest and up front with your current coach and attend other teams training sessions.


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## coachrefparent (Nov 4, 2017)

sandshark said:


> Be careful when exploring other clubs while still playing on your current team, sometimes it best to tell your current coach what your doing and others times it is not.
> You have coaches that talk to each other at times and the word spreads fast, also parents of other teams sometimes love to talk to each other and start problems, and of course some as innocent conversations, but many as feeling threatened so they want to cause issues. Then you have to remember the players from opposing teams are often friends and will talk over social media.
> I personally have found honesty and telling your current coach face to face that your exploring other options is the best example for your child.
> 
> ...


Thank you for stating this coach's name. We need more of this.


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## Fact (Nov 4, 2017)

sandshark said:


> Be careful when exploring other clubs while still playing on your current team, sometimes it best to tell your current coach what your doing and others times it is not.
> You have coaches that talk to each other at times and the word spreads fast, also parents of other teams sometimes love to talk to each other and start problems, and of course some as innocent conversations, but many as feeling threatened so they want to cause issues. Then you have to remember the players from opposing teams are often friends and will talk over social media.
> I personally have found honesty and telling your current coach face to face that your exploring other options is the best example for your child.
> 
> ...


Reading your posts over the last year, you have a very special kind of bitterness that only comes from being an Albion parent.  Yes Romero is a Dbag but Albion is almost cult like...the more loyalty shown by the coach to the club, including making an example of a family, not letting players guest play with other teams, not playing kids that decide not to return next season, etc., the more status the coach gets with Gins.


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## Socal United (Nov 4, 2017)

Still the best way to "try out" is be honest and up front with your current coach and attend other teams training sessions.[/QUOTE]

I completely agree.  Just tell me, I am not going to take it personally.  I hate finding out through the "back door channels" that a kid was somewhere.  You have to do what is best for your kid and many times that move is not coach related.  Honesty by far the best policy.


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## Flipthrow (Nov 5, 2017)

If your player is a great player, do and say whatever you want. If your player is good, keep your mouth shut and hope no one sees you. And good luck with that.


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## sandshark (Nov 5, 2017)

Flipthrow said:


> If your player is a great player, do and say whatever you want. If your player is good, keep your mouth shut and hope no one sees you. And good luck with that.


Yes that is kinda true, but in my home we are more into our children learning to be honest and straight forward instead of arrogant and sneaky. Truth is my kids have never had to "try out" for a single team and yet still today they are as humble as an AYSO player stepping foot into a Club team for the first time. This should be about teaching your children right from wrong at every example available. Keep a clear head and always keep things in perspective, don't buy into the hype.


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## Not_that_Serious (Nov 6, 2017)

sandshark said:


> Be careful when exploring other clubs while still playing on your current team, sometimes it best to tell your current coach what your doing and others times it is not.
> You have coaches that talk to each other at times and the word spreads fast, also parents of other teams sometimes love to talk to each other and start problems, and of course some as innocent conversations, but many as feeling threatened so they want to cause issues. Then you have to remember the players from opposing teams are often friends and will talk over social media.
> I personally have found honesty and telling your current coach face to face that your exploring other options is the best example for your child.
> 
> ...


soooo you never had ANY indication that the coach was this way? never had any suspicions the club ran bizness a certain way? im sure you had a clue since your child was practicing at other clubs. by the way, nothing wrong with a kid practicing somewhere else - not going to sit well with any coach though. this coach sounds like a dbag, should have talked to the parents (you) and not done that. not a secret clubs like Albion, Pats, Surf, Strikers, and more have coaches like this and backed by the clubs


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## sandshark (Nov 6, 2017)

Not_that_Serious said:


> soooo you never had ANY indication that the coach was this way? never had any suspicions the club ran bizness a certain way? im sure you had a clue since your child was practicing at other clubs. by the way, nothing wrong with a kid practicing somewhere else - not going to sit well with any coach though. this coach sounds like a dbag, should have talked to the parents (you) and not done that. not a secret clubs like Albion, Pats, Surf, Strikers, and more have coaches like this and backed by the clubs


Go REREAD the post, I never said it was my kid he did this to.
ER has done crazy stuff to numerous children and families over the past years that would have gotten anyone fired from a real job or business! 

 Albion cares about building player #'s and money, money & money so as long as these coaches bring in more than they lose per year the system keeps going forward.  Albion has proven time and time again they will back anything the coaches do for profit. Albion could care less about the customers as long as the bottom line is in the Black! 
They have demoted a few down to coaching B & C level teams if their player retention is less than a certain % at the end of the year. Look at that guy Kooiman he has been demoted down to their very bottom teams, like this guy is cleaning Robb fields homeless toilets and begging to be Earnie Romero's personal water boy! Great to see the scum bags getting what they deserve. Romero has destroyed the girls program, go look at his 2017 team stats, talk to the majority of the players and parents, it is bad, like really bad!


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## Not_that_Serious (Nov 6, 2017)

sandshark said:


> Go REREAD the post, I never said it was my kid he did this to.
> ER has done crazy stuff to numerous children and families over the past years that would have gotten anyone fired from a real job or business!
> 
> Albion cares about building player #'s and money, money & money so as long as these coaches bring in more than they lose per year the system keeps going forward.  Albion has proven time and time again they will back anything the coaches do for profit. Albion could care less about the customers as long as the bottom line is in the Black!
> They have demoted a few down to coaching B & C level teams if their player retention is less than a certain % at the end of the year. Look at that guy Kooiman he has been demoted down to their very bottom teams, like this guy is cleaning Robb fields homeless toilets and begging to be Earnie Romero's personal water boy! Great to see the scum bags getting what they deserve. Romero has destroyed the girls program, go look at his 2017 team stats, talk to the majority of the players and parents, it is bad, like really bad!


okay. so even if this wasnt your child, you had a child there? still at the club?


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## sandshark (Nov 6, 2017)

Not_that_Serious said:


> okay. so even if this wasnt your child, you had a child there? still at the club?


 No it was not my child. I saw this first hand and a couple other of the almost same it was flat out abuse to little girls by this person Romero. Go talk to this 1/2 wit Bro this Bro that idiot, look at him and his actions, he is a complete tool.


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## Not_that_Serious (Nov 6, 2017)

sandshark said:


> No it was not my child. I saw this first hand and a couple other of the almost same it was flat out abuse to little girls by this person Romero. Go talk to this 1/2 wit Bro this Bro that idiot, look at him and his actions, he is a complete tool.


the reason i asked the other questions was because some people will watch this go on and keep their kids on the team or at the club. the "wasnt my kid" attitude. so unless people walk, you keep the same cycle going


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## sandshark (Nov 6, 2017)

Not_that_Serious said:


> the reason i asked the other questions was because some people will watch this go on and keep their kids on the team or at the club. the "wasnt my kid" attitude. so unless people walk, you keep the same cycle going


Agreed


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## outside! (Nov 6, 2017)

sandshark said:


> This coach Earnie Romero walked up to this 14/15 yr old girl i...


That is because ER is an asshole. Watch out for DR and ML at Albion as well. There are also some good coaches at Albion. All clubs have a mix of coaches, some good, some not so good, some that should be avoided. Some clubs have a few great coaches, and they are not always the big clubs.

To the OP, have your kid practice with teams you think might be a good fit. Make a decision before tryouts.


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## sandshark (Nov 6, 2017)

outside! said:


> That is because ER is an asshole. Watch out for DR and ML at Albion as well. There are also some good coaches at Albion. All clubs have a mix of coaches, some good, some not so good, some that should be avoided. Some clubs have a few great coaches, and they are not always the big clubs.
> 
> To the OP, have your kid practice with teams you think might be a good fit. Make a decision before tryouts.


Totally agree! Who is DR?


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## Fact (Nov 7, 2017)

outside! said:


> That is because ER is an asshole. Watch out for DR and ML at Albion as well. There are also some good coaches at Albion. All clubs have a mix of coaches, some good, some not so good, some that should be avoided. Some clubs have a few great coaches, and they are not always the big clubs.
> 
> To the OP, have your kid practice with teams you think might be a good fit. Make a decision before tryouts.





sandshark said:


> Totally agree! Who is DR?


DR is probably Dan, one of the boys coaches.  I assume ML is Michal Lynn?  On the old forum there was a post about her being a PE teacher at High Tech middle school and pulling kids out of class to question them about why they were trying out at a different club.  She now works full time at Albion I believe?  Those loyal that are willing to do the dirty work are rewarded at Albion like DR who is also full time.


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## watfly (Nov 7, 2017)

outside! said:


> Watch out for DR and ML at Albion as well.





Fact said:


> DR is probably Dan, one of the boys coaches.


It's my policy not to call out coaches or clubs by name, but for DR I will make an exception...consider it a PSA.  We had the misfortune of having my son play for DR for two years (1st year shame on him, 2nd year shame on us).  I could write a novel of misdeeds (nothing criminal), but suffice it to say, he should not be allowed around kids, particularly youngers.  Hell, for that matter he should not be allowed around parents.  His behavior and the club's (WC and NG) continued support of him despite mounds of evidence is one of the reasons we left the club.  Great decision to leave and we're very happy with our club now.


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## growingpains (Nov 7, 2017)

Ok, back to the topic at hand... and thanks btw for the PSA's, some bad coaches really do need to be outed.

Agree on the whole reaching out to the coach and joining one of their practices. That is certainly a good option and you're more likely to standout vs a normal tryout anyway (just my limited experience) and this is what I recommend if you're looking at two new clubs. But - if it is conflicting with your current club tryouts, I think it does say something about your satisfaction with how things are going and your gut is telling you it's time to move on to a different club, coach, or team... so given the choice, go to the new club/team tryouts. Your current coach already knows what your kid is capable of and has probably already made an assessment, if you're getting a new coach, most likely they've already assessed your kid as well or gotten the lowdown so if you really want to go back, then they'll either want you or won't. 

The flip side to this is also realize that every team has its issues. It's easy to get into the whole grass is greener mentality and at the end of the day, unless you really think through your priorities (or your kids) and are aware of the trade offs, you're likely to wind up just as frustrated as you began. No club is perfect, no coach is perfect, and no team nor player is perfect. If you can surround yourself with good people, good kids who share the same goals as yours (and you really need to think through what your ultimate goals are), and good coaches, you've done pretty damn well - likely better than most.


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## jose (Nov 7, 2017)

sandshark said:


> Keep in mind a lot of these coaches are major ego maniacs and make everything more about themselves then what's best for you child.
> I personally watched a girl literally get kicked off an ALBION Sc team after the coach found out she had attended another clubs practice. This coach Earnie Romero walked up to this 14/15 yr old girl in front of her team and told her to take a hike, he literally did this out loud in front of her team and about 10 other teams he told her "blame your parents it's thier fault!" She was crying and embarrassed as she walked away, he smiled and turned around as if he just won a contest! This was far from the first time or the last time that coach made an example of what happens to little girls that cross him by looking at outside teams. So BEWARE thier are monsters with huge ego's willing to use little kids to prove their all mighty power over children and thier family's.
> 
> Still the best way to "try out" is be honest and up front with your current coach and attend other teams training sessions.


Thanks for calling the A hole by name. These clowns think that being a girls soccer coach somehow puts them in the upper echelon of society. You are a kids soccer coach, just like the dad that coaches AYSO.  Parents are sitting on a stool like a lion at the circus. the coach acts like the lion tamer. The lions are too busy looking at the whip to realize they could destroy the tamer with one swipe.


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## Bananacorner (Nov 7, 2017)

growingpains said:


> Ok, back to the topic at hand... and thanks btw for the PSA's, some bad coaches really do need to be outed.
> 
> Agree on the whole reaching out to the coach and joining one of their practices. That is certainly a good option and you're more likely to standout vs a normal tryout anyway (just my limited experience) and this is what I recommend if you're looking at two new clubs. But - if it is conflicting with your current club tryouts, I think it does say something about your satisfaction with how things are going and your gut is telling you it's time to move on to a different club, coach, or team... so given the choice, go to the new club/team tryouts. Your current coach already knows what your kid is capable of and has probably already made an assessment, if you're getting a new coach, most likely they've already assessed your kid as well or gotten the lowdown so if you really want to go back, then they'll either want you or won't.
> 
> The flip side to this is also realize that every team has its issues. It's easy to get into the whole grass is greener mentality and at the end of the day, unless you really think through your priorities (or your kids) and are aware of the trade offs, you're likely to wind up just as frustrated as you began. No club is perfect, no coach is perfect, and no team nor player is perfect. If you can surround yourself with good people, good kids who share the same goals as yours (and you really need to think through what your ultimate goals are), and good coaches, you've done pretty damn well - likely better than most.


Good advice -- you won't find perfect, and your player is not perfect, so make sure you are realistic in your assessments.  For my U13 DD, we are on club 5.  With the exception of one minor setback (we went to a club because she really liked and wanted to train with the female coach, and I had to respect that even though I wasn't sure it was the best fit -- coach ended up being not so good), all of the moves have been improvements to the previous situation.  One was just a detour to play up a year for a team that I knew wasn't a long-term solution.  Overall, we have moved from the original club with awful training/ programming to excellent training and programming.  Now our issue isn't about being unhappy with "not learning anything" which was her constant complaint before, but instead to whether she wants to make the commitment at this level, which so far has involved intense training of 3x-(winter) to 6x-(summer) -a-week training sessions, and the ability to withstand the incredibly critical coaching style (complete with yelling, personal jabs and shaming, and occasional hysterics).   I will say that the moves from club to club did take a toll on my DD as far as bonding with teammates, but that may just be her, not necessarily all kids.  Can't even imagine she would still be playing if we had stayed where we were originally, looking back now the training is just so bad, but I guess you never get the benefit of trying two different roads and comparing the outcomes.


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## growingpains (Nov 7, 2017)

jose said:


> Thanks for calling the A hole by name. These clowns think that being a girls soccer coach somehow puts them in the upper echelon of society. You are a kids soccer coach, just like the dad that coaches AYSO.  Parents are sitting on a stool like a lion at the circus. the coach acts like the lion tamer. The lions are too busy looking at the whip to realize they could destroy the tamer with one swipe.


I disagree. I think coaches deserve a lot more respect than they get. While yes there are complete hacks out there, especially at youngers, they have a pretty tough job just keeping their attention. On top of that, every move they make is scrutinized - and again no coach is perfect, they do the best they can, they're human. These men/women make just enough to survive but most of them still chose to do it because they love the game and want to pass that on. Many have to work second jobs.

Parents, it's easy to get frustrated about things when you feel like you're not in control. The key is not just bottling it up and letting it eat at you the entire season. Just reach out to your coach with an open mind and have a talk about it. If you treat them with respect, they will likely return the favor and regardless if you choose to stay at the club or go, it will likely be on good terms.


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## NumberTen (Nov 7, 2017)

watfly said:


> It's my policy not to call out coaches or clubs by name, but for DR I will make an exception...consider it a PSA.  We had the misfortune of having my son play for DR for two years (1st year shame on him, 2nd year shame on us).  I could write a novel of misdeeds (nothing criminal), but suffice it to say, he should not be allowed around kids, particularly youngers.  Hell, for that matter he should not be allowed around parents.  His behavior and the club's (WC and NG) continued support of him despite mounds of evidence is one of the reasons we left the club.  Great decision to leave and we're very happy with our club now.


Now for another perspective...  We have had DR as a coach for the last two years and I would have to disagree with you.  His teams are not for the weak.  He instills discipline and does  not let the inmates run the asylum (parents or players). Has he sat players for running their mouth and not doing what they were told, yes.  Does he do things like not starting someone because they missed practice or were late, yes.  Do all of his players shake his hand after practice and say thanks, sure.  Its called learning to be a man. Oh yeah, he has cut several players who couldn't cut it.  In my experience he has taken weak teams and progressed them through the flights quite successfully.  If your a snowflake or raising your sons to be, then yes get out.  If your interested in your sons learning discipline and responsibility then you will have no problem.  As for youngers, I believe he is the director and has been for many years.  If there really was a problem don't you think that something would be done about it.  Considering the amount and extent of the entitlement mentality that exists in club soccer.  
It sounds like your a snowflake or your kid didn't make it.  Its not for everyone.


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## socalkdg (Nov 7, 2017)

Maybe it is best to agree that each child will respond to certain coaching styles, and that different styles work for different kids.  Tough or caring, male or female, each kid is different.   Find what is best for your kid, make sure they keep improving, and be fair and open with your coaches.


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## NumberTen (Nov 7, 2017)

socalkdg said:


> Maybe it is best to agree that each child will respond to certain coaching styles, and that different styles work for different kids.  Tough or caring, male or female, each kid is different.   Find what is best for your kid, make sure they keep improving, and be fair and open with your coaches.


agreed


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## jose (Nov 7, 2017)

Socal United said:


> Still the best way to "try out" is be honest and up front with your current coach and attend other teams training sessions.


I completely agree.  Just tell me, I am not going to take it personally.  I hate finding out through the "back door channels" that a kid was somewhere.  You have to do what is best for your kid and many times that move is not coach related.  Honesty by far the best policy.[/QUOTE]
kind of agree. but if the coach is an A hole then F him. you do not owe them anything. If the coach is a real coach and looking out for your DD's best interest i would say something. The only answer from him should be good luck I hope it goes good or do what you think is best for your DD.


growingpains said:


> I disagree. I think coaches deserve a lot more respect than they get. While yes there are complete hacks out there, especially at youngers, they have a pretty tough job just keeping their attention. On top of that, every move they make is scrutinized - and again no coach is perfect, they do the best they can, they're human. These men/women make just enough to survive but most of them still chose to do it because they love the game and want to pass that on. Many have to work second jobs.
> 
> Parents, it's easy to get frustrated about things when you feel like you're not in control. The key is not just bottling it up and letting it eat at you the entire season. Just reach out to your coach with an open mind and have a talk about it. If you treat them with respect, they will likely return the favor and regardless if you choose to stay at the club or go, it will likely be on good terms.


This isn't every coach out there. Coaches get plenty of respect. One nut on every team but that goes with the territory. The same 10% of parents cause 90% of the problem for any coach.  I was talking about a coach being an Ass to a 15 yo girl.  This had nothing to do with how they talk to me. Im an adult so they will use a different tone. The reason people treat other people like crap is because they think they can. I guarantee he wouldn't talk to his boss' daughter like that.


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## sandshark (Nov 7, 2017)

growingpains said:


> I disagree. I think coaches deserve a lot more respect than they get. While yes there are complete hacks out there, especially at youngers, they have a pretty tough job just keeping their attention. On top of that, every move they make is scrutinized - and again no coach is perfect, they do the best they can, they're human. These men/women make just enough to survive but most of them still chose to do it because they love the game and want to pass that on. Many have to work second jobs.
> 
> Parents, it's easy to get frustrated about things when you feel like you're not in control. The key is not just bottling it up and letting it eat at you the entire season. Just reach out to your coach with an open mind and have a talk about it. If you treat them with respect, they will likely return the favor and regardless if you choose to stay at the club or go, it will likely be on good terms.


Sounds like AYSO or maybe a super cool small club in the middle of Disney Land or La La Land, I like this outlook it sounds super fun.


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## growingpains (Nov 7, 2017)

No


sandshark said:


> Sounds like AYSO or maybe a super cool small club in the middle of Disney Land or La La Land, I like this outlook it sounds super fun.


Not really, we've now been at several different clubs - all medium to large and while I never agreed completely with any of the coaches (of course my opinion and way of doing things was way better - ha!) all the coaches we've had were humble and just normal people who loved the game. A couple of them were phenomenal and I didn't realize it until well after the fact. But even the coach with whom I felt treated my kid very unfairly, I respected what he was trying to do with the team. We disagreed, tried to work it out, it didn't, she wasn't the type of player he was looking for and so we moved on. Of course I was livid at the time.

Since then I think my perspective has changed completely and if nothing else, it's helped my sanity and has allowed me and my daughter to enjoy the game and the process. No more getting upset about losses, poor play by the team, lectures on the way home. If our team isn't playing well or I don't think the coach is teaching what they need, we supplement with other training - most coaches in your club will allow you to train with their same age year or up/down teams - and it doesn't even cost anything, just reach out to them. Then we re-evaluate for the following year.

I guess we've been pretty lucky. I do know of some pretty bad coaches that have just mentally destroyed kids (and parents for that matter) and you've got to nip those in the bud - no matter how "good" the coach is, there are other ways to make it to the top. Coaches that try to convince you by saying one or two of their players are now ODP/DA/National team/college players are to be approached with caution - most likely those kids would've made it there anyway and you need to remember that out of how many years they've been coaching, what percentage of their players made it vs hi e many didn't and how many players made it that he/she did NOT coach. They are not the only path to success.


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## outside! (Nov 7, 2017)

NumberTen said:


> Now for another perspective...  We have had DR as a coach for the last two years and I would have to disagree with you.  His teams are not for the weak.  He instills discipline and does  not let the inmates run the asylum (parents or players). Has he sat players for running their mouth and not doing what they were told, yes.  Does he do things like not starting someone because they missed practice or were late, yes.  Do all of his players shake his hand after practice and say thanks, sure.  Its called learning to be a man. Oh yeah, he has cut several players who couldn't cut it.  In my experience he has taken weak teams and progressed them through the flights quite successfully.  If your a snowflake or raising your sons to be, then yes get out.  If your interested in your sons learning discipline and responsibility then you will have no problem.  As for youngers, I believe he is the director and has been for many years.  If there really was a problem don't you think that something would be done about it.  Considering the amount and extent of the entitlement mentality that exists in club soccer.
> It sounds like your a snowflake or your kid didn't make it.  Its not for everyone.


First off, none of my kids have been on DR's team. DR treats the players he needs with respect. It is the way he treats players that he doesn't think meet his standards of play that is the problem. DR has been disrespectful and demeaning to many players over the years which is why several people warned me about him (including ex-players that are now adults) when my son played at Albion. I don't think learning to be a man involves letting people in positions of authority be disrespectful to children. My son is no longer at Albion, but I have great respect for his old coach (LS) and have recommend him to people.


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## sandshark (Nov 7, 2017)

Hey blah blah why call that person a "Snow flake" why the name calling? How do you come to the conclusion they are a "Snow flake" because they don't agree with you? I'm more concerned with how these coaches treat the kids and how they feel they can be disrespectful to children. In the real world we don't hire them to make people's kids an example, we actually pay for the coach to be the example! So when you have some ego maniac, asshole bully coach making an example of a kid that can't keep up that is the opposite of what most parents want their children to emulate towards others.
You have to be a real POS to attack children and think it's ok for any reason! And if you support the coaches or any adult making an example of children your right there with them.


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## watfly (Nov 7, 2017)

NumberTen said:


> Now for another perspective...  We have had DR as a coach for the last two years and I would have to disagree with you.  His teams are not for the weak.  He instills discipline and does  not let the inmates run the asylum (parents or players). Has he sat players for running their mouth and not doing what they were told, yes.  Does he do things like not starting someone because they missed practice or were late, yes.  Do all of his players shake his hand after practice and say thanks, sure.  Its called learning to be a man. Oh yeah, he has cut several players who couldn't cut it.  In my experience he has taken weak teams and progressed them through the flights quite successfully.  If your a snowflake or raising your sons to be, then yes get out.  If your interested in your sons learning discipline and responsibility then you will have no problem.  As for youngers, I believe he is the director and has been for many years.  If there really was a problem don't you think that something would be done about it.  Considering the amount and extent of the entitlement mentality that exists in club soccer.
> It sounds like your a snowflake or your kid didn't make it.  Its not for everyone.


I'm not going to swap ad hominems with you. I don't need to defend my son, I will let his play speak for itself.  

IMO a coach demeaning 7-8 year olds is not an appropriate way to instill discipline...if thats what you want to call it.  More power to you if DR's style works for you and your son.   However you are the first person out of dozens I have heard of that has spoken positively of him.  I know many flight 1 players, including my son, who left his teams as a result of his behavior.   They didn't leave because they couldn't handle his "discipline" or weren't good enough.  The families left because of the toxic environment he created, among other things.


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## outside! (Nov 7, 2017)

watfly said:


> It's my policy not to call out coaches or clubs by name, but for DR I will make an exception...consider it a PSA.


I can respect that, but after years in club soccer I just got fed up with all of the BS. This forum is one of the few ways we parents have of sharing information. I will call out coaches that treat players poorly anytime.


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## watfly (Nov 7, 2017)

outside! said:


> First off, none of my kids have been on DR's team. DR treats the players he needs with respect. It is the way he treats players that he doesn't think meet his standards of play that is the problem. DR has been disrespectful and demeaning to many players over the years which is why several people warned me about him (including ex-players that are now adults) when my son played at Albion. I don't think learning to be a man involves letting people in positions of authority be disrespectful to children. My son is no longer at Albion, but I have great respect for his old coach (LS) and have recommend him to people.


That's pretty spot on, although I would argue that his selective treatment of kids wasn't tied to their abilities.  In our two years it was more tied to the kids and parents that wouldn't stand up for themselves (like the lion attacking the gimpy gazelle).  I watched him completely destroy the confidence of a very quiet kid on our team that was a arguably the best player our 1st year.


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## sandshark (Nov 7, 2017)

outside! said:


> I can respect that, but after years in club soccer I just got fed up with all of the BS. This forum is one of the few ways we parents have of sharing information. I will call out coaches that treat players poorly anytime.


That is the biggest problem in youth soccer is all of us not wanting to call out the wrongs these clubs and coaches are doing to the children and their families! 
If we keep on not talking and warning each other of these wrongs nothing will ever change. Expose the jerks and clubs they work for.


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## watfly (Nov 7, 2017)

outside! said:


> I can respect that, but after years in club soccer I just got fed up with all of the BS. This forum is one of the few ways we parents have of sharing information. I will call out coaches that treat players poorly anytime.





sandshark said:


> That is the biggest problem in youth soccer is all of us not wanting to call out the wrongs these clubs and coaches are doing to the children and their families!
> If we keep on not talking and warning each other of these wrongs nothing will ever change. Expose the jerks and clubs they work for.


I totally understand your points and can't say I disagree, I'm just generally uncomfortable naming names in a public forum.  I have no problems naming names privately.  Trust me I discussed with him his inappropriate behavior a few times and finally reported him to the club after a particularly troubling incident he had with another player on the team.  Despite a promise that he would be removed, it never happened.  The following year, he did have a youngers first team or two taken away and was given a more qualified co-coach, allegedly a baby sitter, for another team.

To the poster's original question,  honesty with the coach is generally the best advice.  However, some coaches/clubs, typically the bad ones, don't take too kindly to having kids club shop and there can be reprecussions.  Know your audience.


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## Monkey (Nov 7, 2017)

NumberTen said:


> Now for another perspective...  We have had DR as a coach for the last two years and I would have to disagree with you.  His teams are not for the weak.  He instills discipline and does  not let the inmates run the asylum (parents or players). Has he sat players for running their mouth and not doing what they were told, yes.  Does he do things like not starting someone because they missed practice or were late, yes.  Do all of his players shake his hand after practice and say thanks, sure.  Its called learning to be a man. Oh yeah, he has cut several players who couldn't cut it.  In my experience he has taken weak teams and progressed them through the flights quite successfully.  If your a snowflake or raising your sons to be, then yes get out.  If your interested in your sons learning discipline and responsibility then you will have no problem.  As for youngers, I believe he is the director and has been for many years.  If there really was a problem don't you think that something would be done about it.  Considering the amount and extent of the entitlement mentality that exists in club soccer.
> It sounds like your a snowflake or your kid didn't make it.  Its not for everyone.


He was made Director of the younger program 5 years ago so he could quit his day job. This was an award for being a good little puppet of Gins. Trust me, everyone was shaking their heads on that one.  My wife's friend had a kid on his team and something like 15 out of 17 players did not come back the next year.  His teams progress because they quit and he replaces them with kids he scouts, mostly from the Mexican league.  Any given day he is not coaching you will find him in central SD or the water tower without Albion gear on, recruiting.  He does not develop.  And he will tolerate BS from certain parents if they have Gins' ear.


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## seesnake (Nov 8, 2017)

growingpains said:


> Ok, back to the topic at hand... and thanks btw for the PSA's, some bad coaches really do need to be outed.
> 
> Agree on the whole reaching out to the coach and joining one of their practices. That is certainly a good option and you're more likely to standout vs a normal tryout anyway (just my limited experience) and this is what I recommend if you're looking at two new clubs. But - if it is conflicting with your current club tryouts, I think it does say something about your satisfaction with how things are going and your gut is telling you it's time to move on to a different club, coach, or team... so given the choice, go to the new club/team tryouts. Your current coach already knows what your kid is capable of and has probably already made an assessment, if you're getting a new coach, most likely they've already assessed your kid as well or gotten the lowdown so if you really want to go back, then they'll either want you or won't.
> 
> The flip side to this is also realize that every team has its issues. It's easy to get into the whole grass is greener mentality and at the end of the day, unless you really think through your priorities (or your kids) and are aware of the trade offs, you're likely to wind up just as frustrated as you began. No club is perfect, no coach is perfect, and no team nor player is perfect. If you can surround yourself with good people, good kids who share the same goals as yours (and you really need to think through what your ultimate goals are), and good coaches, you've done pretty damn well - likely better than most.


Very thoughtful response. Thanks. This would be the third year with a kickball yeller on an "A" team and everyone in my family is over it. Change is coming one way or another for us. Just trying to figure out the best methods.


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