# To move or not to move....



## LifeOfSoccer (May 16, 2017)

Hello! My daughter is just 9 and completed her first year of club.  We came in 2nd and had only been together 5 months.  Our team was quite big and so they split the team and created a silver and bronze.  My daughter was put on the new bronze team.  We were told it would be just like the silver and she would be the first to move up if he decided to take more then 10 players.

Fast forward, this bronze team has her and a team-mate that are very good and the rest of the team that they have gotten from "word of mouth" is not very skilled at all.  The asst coach said as long as we don't come in last, that's a good thing!  I almost fell over!  The coach doesn't seem interested in being there and practices are being run like a rec team.  

My daughter is losing interest and is slowly losing skills.  I would love to stay with the club as we were so close before the 2 team split, but also hate seeing her unhappy.  She wants to play with her old coach and does not want to go to the new coaches practices because they are boring.  

We visited a practice of another local club yesterday and she did very well.  She loved the practice and the coach.  She practiced with their silver team and the coach said she would fit in very well.  She walked away so happy and asked if we could try it again.

Here is my dilemma.  We paid for our current club already but feel misled by all they said it would be and it definitely isn't.  Do we move to the new club and pay again?  I just want to do what is right for my daughter.  I miss seeing her enjoy soccer they way she used to.  We are at a loss as to what to do.....


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## futboldad1 (May 16, 2017)

If it were my DD I'd definitely make the move.

Unless the current club lied to you you're likely out of luck re the money. Worth asking. But yes you'll need to pay the new club as it's not their fault.


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## chargerfan (May 16, 2017)

LifeOfSoccer said:


> Hello! My daughter is just 9 and completed her first year of club.  We came in 2nd and had only been together 5 months.  Our team was quite big and so they split the team and created a silver and bronze.  My daughter was put on the new bronze team.  We were told it would be just like the silver and she would be the first to move up if he decided to take more then 10 players.
> 
> Fast forward, this bronze team has her and a team-mate that are very good and the rest of the team that they have gotten from "word of mouth" is not very skilled at all.  The asst coach said as long as we don't come in last, that's a good thing!  I almost fell over!  The coach doesn't seem interested in being there and practices are being run like a rec team.
> 
> ...


We would leave.


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## younothat (May 16, 2017)

Daughter knows best.  $ don't buy happiness


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## Soccer Cat (May 16, 2017)

Move if you can afford to do it.

My thought is soccer is something my daughter does for fun, no matter how good she is at it.  I let her choose where she wants to play (with the exception if the environment was unhealthy, etc)


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## SoccerMom05 (May 16, 2017)

I would move. I would ask the new club your interested in if there is any room for hardship or some sort of discount because you have paid your current club. I am sure there is something they can work out.


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## tabletop (May 16, 2017)

Her skills will continue to slide if she is not getting proper training or isn't being challenged in training sessions.  I would make the move but I would also try to leave on good terms if that is possible.  Be prepared for her current club to offer to put her back on the silver squad as soon as you mention leaving.


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## SocalSoccerMom (May 16, 2017)

The nice thing now is most clubs accept fees through some online system, so you can use your credit card to pay. And with cc, there are a lot of protection for buyers...just saying


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## Mystery Train (May 16, 2017)

You are likely out of luck on the money end.  Just out of curiosity, did you pay before or after the club made the change? 

Also, +1 for this:


Soccer Cat said:


> Move if you can afford to do it.


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## Eagle33 (May 16, 2017)

LifeOfSoccer said:


> Hello! My daughter is just 9 and completed her first year of club.  We came in 2nd and had only been together 5 months.  Our team was quite big and so they split the team and created a silver and bronze.  My daughter was put on the new bronze team.  We were told it would be just like the silver and she would be the first to move up if he decided to take more then 10 players.
> 
> Fast forward, this bronze team has her and a team-mate that are very good and the rest of the team that they have gotten from "word of mouth" is not very skilled at all.  The asst coach said as long as we don't come in last, that's a good thing!  I almost fell over!  The coach doesn't seem interested in being there and practices are being run like a rec team.
> 
> ...


Move, no ....run away.
If you explain your situation to a new club, I'm sure they will give you some break on new fees. Worth asking.


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## Mom Taxi (May 16, 2017)

My kids' club will refund registration fees minus administrative fees up until a certain date in the summer. If you leave (and it REALLY sounds as though you should) you should check your current club's refund policy.


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## Sheriff Joe (May 16, 2017)

LifeOfSoccer said:


> Hello! My daughter is just 9 and completed her first year of club.  We came in 2nd and had only been together 5 months.  Our team was quite big and so they split the team and created a silver and bronze.  My daughter was put on the new bronze team.  We were told it would be just like the silver and she would be the first to move up if he decided to take more then 10 players.
> 
> Fast forward, this bronze team has her and a team-mate that are very good and the rest of the team that they have gotten from "word of mouth" is not very skilled at all.  The asst coach said as long as we don't come in last, that's a good thing!  I almost fell over!  The coach doesn't seem interested in being there and practices are being run like a rec team.
> 
> ...


Nothing like word of mouth if they won't refund.


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## LifeOfSoccer (May 17, 2017)

Mystery Train said:


> You are likely out of luck on the money end.  Just out of curiosity, did you pay before or after the club made the change?
> 
> Also, +1 for this:


The roster was split in late March. We practiced all together until a month ago when we were handed off to the new coach. When we were handed off, the new coach still had a Rec team doing spring season, so there were 15-20 girls on the field.(total chaos) We kept hearing that practice would get better. Now we have been just the bronze practicing for the past week and a half since Rec is over and the practice is just as slow and painful. We paid a month ago under the assumption that it was going to change when the Rec team left. It hasn't really changed.


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## zebrafish (May 17, 2017)

I wouldn't care what place your kid's team came in. That is the least important issue, honestly.
However, losing interest, not being challenged-- those are concerns. 
Have you discussed the situation with the current coach?
Would you accept being moved "up"?
I think changing teams sounds necessary, but I think you need to decide if you're willing to leave the money on the table.


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## pewpew (May 17, 2017)

If the club made the team split AFTER you paid your money, which is most likely something you hadn't agreed to, then you have a breach of contract. The mere threat of legal action should be enough that they don't want to deal with the hassle. IF you paid and were well aware of the impending split then you are out of luck on the money. 
Daughter's team last year signed a "developmental player" to the roster. Then she was cut.  I'll save all the details. But when the mom asked me about a refund I told her to contact the coach or the registrar. (I was the Team Mgr.) Both the coach and registrar told me there'd be no refund. I gave them a word of caution. The girl's dad was a Federal Prosecutor that takes on the cartels for a living!! You think he's afraid of taking on some soccer club to get his money back?! Ran into the DoC a few days later and told him the same thing. Not sure what ended up happening.


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## Desert619 (May 17, 2017)

oooooh this is a tough call. Ok so either she will be a top player on the B team and have more playing than she will know what to do with or a bench player on the A team. Since this is a developmental age i say keep her on the B team. 

However if you feel like the B team isn't a true B team and she is unhappy then I say accept the loss and switch her. I'd rather lose money then have a unhappy kid. Getting them to practice and games would be a nightmare if they don't want to be there. Why put yourself or her through that?


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## MakeAPlay (May 18, 2017)

LifeOfSoccer said:


> Hello! My daughter is just 9 and completed her first year of club.  We came in 2nd and had only been together 5 months.  Our team was quite big and so they split the team and created a silver and bronze.  My daughter was put on the new bronze team.  We were told it would be just like the silver and she would be the first to move up if he decided to take more then 10 players.
> 
> Fast forward, this bronze team has her and a team-mate that are very good and the rest of the team that they have gotten from "word of mouth" is not very skilled at all.  The asst coach said as long as we don't come in last, that's a good thing!  I almost fell over!  The coach doesn't seem interested in being there and practices are being run like a rec team.
> 
> ...


In order for your player to progress she must be having fun and must be challenged.  It sounds like you are getting neither.  I would ask for a prorated refund.  If they don't agree there are pretty simple ways to get your money back.  Most big clubs aren't going to fight over a couple of grand.  Good luck to you and your player.


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## timbuck (May 18, 2017)

How many weeks into the new team / coach are you?
It may get better as he and the kids adapt. I suppose it could also get worse.  
Have they played any games yet?  

I'd probably be inclined to look around too at this point, but kids are pretty resilient.  As a parent, try not to say things that put the players and coach in a negative light.  They pick up on that stuff and may start saying negative things just because they overheard you talking.  

Get her a private coach to reinforce her skills.  Light up the season as the star player and move once the season is over. 

And try to guest play when possible. Get exposure to different coaches so that next year, you know what you want.  Watch the teams that you play against and look for a coach and team that you think is doing it the way you want you kid to learn. 

Of course-  if she is completely miserable and hates practice.  Hates the girls.  Hates the coach.   Then move on.


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## BeepBeep Boop (May 18, 2017)

I vote for moving. We moved daughter to club at 8, and while we were playing for a "Flight 1/Gold" team the quality of the coaching staff turned out to be "Flight 3/Bronze" at best. Similar story to yours in terms of losing interest and not having as much fun. We tried doing privates after we realized that damage was being done, but I still feel like she lost a year of development.

Moved the next year and combined a few months of privates with a "Flight 1" level coach and she's back to having fun, learning, and it shows on the field.

Edit: I also have to add that driving your kid to practices/games for an entire season while you see them not improving will take a toll on you as well. It was by far the worst experience I've had as a sports parent. I dreaded the weekends. You might find yourself asking questions like, "How the hell did I not get out while I still could? Have I caused permanent damage? How could I have been so stupid?"


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## rainbow_unicorn (May 18, 2017)

Sounds like a no-brainer...leave now.  Demand your money back...most clubs would rather not have a scorned parent badmouthing the club.


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## GoWest (May 18, 2017)

BeepBeep Boop said:


> I vote for moving. We moved daughter to club at 8, and while we were playing for a "Flight 1/Gold" team the quality of the coaching staff turned out to be "Flight 3/Bronze" at best. Similar story to yours in terms of losing interest and not having as much fun. We tried doing privates after we realized that damage was being done, but I still feel like she lost a year of development.
> 
> Moved the next year and combined a few months of privates with a "Flight 1" level coach and she's back to having fun, learning, and it shows on the field.
> 
> Edit: I also have to add that driving your kid to practices/games for an entire season while you see them not improving will take a toll on you as well. It was by far the worst experience I've had as a sports parent. I dreaded the weekends. You might find yourself asking questions like, "How the hell did I not get out while I still could? Have I caused permanent damage? How could I have been so stupid?"


Your EDIT is one of the best postings, like, ever! LOL! Your experience is invaluable and parents in similar situations...take heed and listen up! I've been there myself and it ain't pretty.


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## Dos Equis (May 18, 2017)

Move.  If you do not move, start researching other sports for her, because the desire to play soccer will be gone forever.


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