# What is your player in the GDA for?



## MakeAPlay (Jan 28, 2017)

With a lot of GDA sides holding tryouts already I was curious as to what the endgame was for the 03/04 players?  Is it the national team?  Is it professional soccer?  Is it a great university?  Is it to have fun?  Or is it something else?  I only ask because my player at age 12/13 had soccer goals at that age but it was none of those things.  One of those things was a parental goal.  Now I'm not saying that she didn't want to play in a World Cup and she said that she was going to go to the college that she now attends at 8, but that wasn't the immediate goal in her tween brain.  I would love to hear some responses.


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## DBSoccerFan (Jan 28, 2017)

I asked my daughter the same question and her reply was simply, "I want to play against the best players where ever that is."    She's 12.


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## MakeAPlay (Jan 28, 2017)

DBSoccerFan said:


> I asked my daughter the same question and her reply was simply, "I want to play against the best players where ever that is."    She's 12.


That's what mine said!!


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## devupa2.0 (Jan 28, 2017)

DBSoccerFan said:


> I asked my daughter the same question and her reply was simply, "I want to play against the best players where ever that is."    She's 12.


My daughter is 12, but started playing club pretty young. She loves playing soccer and started playing AYSO, then moved to a local club. All the girls were new, having fun, and just seeing what they could do. Lot's of fun with families and making new friends. It was much more of a "social" thing for all involved.

A few years go by and my daughter's focus/attitude really changed. She was making observations about who the better teams were, which coaches yelled a lot, and which players were a challenge to deal with. She would remember specific girls from teams and point them out when she would see teams at different events. She was also making observations about her own team and the various strengths/weaknesses.

I played a different sport when I was young and played through college. I was very dedicated, but I don't remember thinking the way she does at her age. I didn't get that kind of focus until older.

Last year, when she was 11, she surprised us by saying she wanted to try out for a few other clubs. She had a list! She identified three clubs based on her experience playing against them and getting to know some of the players through other events. After a lot of discussions and a family commitment to support her in this (particularly because we would have to drive a little), she took a spot at a new club on a team that is very good for her age. She has enjoyed the change, although I will note that it is much less "socially" focused than before. She is playing with girls that care about their level of play on a different level than her previous team. It's definitely soccer first and social events second with this group (I suspect that is common). Coach really suits her and so does the team/club/community feel.

Now the club is going to have a DA team and she wants to make it. She has a shot, but not a shoe in.

I have been blown away by this experience. I never played soccer, but her interest has exposed our family to a wonderful sport and we are going along for the ride. However, I know a lot of folks that are making these decisions for their girls. Pushing them, rather than supporting their daughter's own decisions. I also don't think they even recognize they are doing it. But others can see it. There is a pressure on those kids that other players don't have.

Bottom line - if my daughter plays on a team it is because she wants to and we will support that desire.

I share this background because my daughter gave us the exact same reason as yours. Keep in mind that she isn't aware of the whole debate on this forum about DA/ECNL. She simply knows that the DA team at her club will be the top team. She has the perception that DA will be for the best players and she wants to play against the best.


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## MakeAPlay (Jan 28, 2017)

devupa2.0 said:


> My daughter is 12, but started playing club pretty young. She loves playing soccer and started playing AYSO, then moved to a local club. All the girls were new, having fun, and just seeing what they could do. Lot's of fun with families and making new friends. It was much more of a "social" thing for all involved.
> 
> A few years go by and my daughter's focus/attitude really changed. She was making observations about who the better teams were, which coaches yelled a lot, and which players were a challenge to deal with. She would remember specific girls from teams and point them out when she would see teams at different events. She was also making observations about her own team and the various strengths/weaknesses.
> 
> ...


She sounds amazing!!  Thanks for sharing.


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## DBSoccerFan (Jan 28, 2017)

devupa2.0 said:


> My daughter is 12, but started playing club pretty young. She loves playing soccer and started playing AYSO, then moved to a local club. All the girls were new, having fun, and just seeing what they could do. Lot's of fun with families and making new friends. It was much more of a "social" thing for all involved.
> 
> A few years go by and my daughter's focus/attitude really changed. She was making observations about who the better teams were, which coaches yelled a lot, and which players were a challenge to deal with. She would remember specific girls from teams and point them out when she would see teams at different events. She was also making observations about her own team and the various strengths/weaknesses.
> 
> ...


Very well said.  You should really think about saving your post - hopefully it will be saved for a very long time from now - to share with your grandchildren. They would love to know the passion and drive  their mom had at such a young age.


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## ESPNANALYST (Jan 28, 2017)

She has a technical coach who tells her that all of this will level out at 14 so she needed to learn to play the right way rather than a way that would get a W. 
Small community and so between Snapchat, musically and insta the girls are communicating ALOT. So I was surprised when the chatter started in August "hey come to my team", "hey such and such is leaving so we need D", "hey we don't like our coach". It was like seeing the mind of a tween.
At that point she made a choice to "take it to the next level". Very serious and came to me with a list of her goals, her weaknesses and asked me to research who may be a good fit. Same names kept coming up.
There is nothing social about this for her. She likes her team and we have sleepovers etc but they aren't her buddies like at school. 
This tryout season she is vey calm. She knows who she is and her work ethic so it's not about DA or ECNL etc. She won't go to an ECNL team with a bad coach- aka all of them now. 
She flat out said she didn't want to try out for one club because if the Coach - I didn't know anything about him! 
There comes a time when the player starts to dictate and I have found it to be refreshing and less stress because these are HER CHOICES.
Again love saying to her- you have a goal to be a YNT player. You have read Carlis book and seen all their social media. Right now there is a BEAST who gets up at 0500, who runs, who plays wall ball, and is doing everything they can to be that YNT. What you choose to do is your journey not mine.


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## MakeAPlay (Jan 28, 2017)

ESPNANALYST said:


> She has a technical coach who tells her that all of this will level out at 14 so she needed to learn to play the right way rather than a way that would get a W.
> Small community and so between Snapchat, musically and insta the girls are communicating ALOT. So I was surprised when the chatter started in August "hey come to my team", "hey such and such is leaving so we need D", "hey we don't like our coach". It was like seeing the mind of a tween.
> At that point she made a choice to "take it to the next level". Very serious and came to me with a list of her goals, her weaknesses and asked me to research who may be a good fit. Same names kept coming up.
> There is nothing social about this for her. She likes her team and we have sleepovers etc but they aren't her buddies like at school.
> ...


Sounds like the right reasons to me.  The best part about your daughter in my eyes is she recognizes the value of good coaching and hard work!  I also love that she wanted research so that she could make a well informed pragmatic decision.  With young women like that we have a bright future as a people.


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## NoGoal (Jan 28, 2017)

ESPNANALYST said:


> She has a technical coach who tells her that all of this will level out at 14 so she needed to learn to play the right way rather than a way that would get a W.
> Small community and so between Snapchat, musically and insta the girls are communicating ALOT. So I was surprised when the chatter started in August "hey come to my team", "hey such and such is leaving so we need D", "hey we don't like our coach". It was like seeing the mind of a tween.
> At that point she made a choice to "take it to the next level". Very serious and came to me with a list of her goals, her weaknesses and asked me to research who may be a good fit. Same names kept coming up.
> There is nothing social about this for her. She likes her team and we have sleepovers etc but they aren't her buddies like at school.
> ...


 I experienced the same thing at U13/U14 everyone rushing and wanting to play ECNL (this case Girls DA). Then a couple of years later....a few fell off and were replaced by players your DD is doing.  Your family gets it, Congrats!


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## bababooey (Jan 30, 2017)

MakeAPlay said:


> With a lot of GDA sides holding tryouts already I was curious as to what the endgame was for the 03/04 players?  Is it the national team?  Is it professional soccer?  Is it a great university?  Is it to have fun?  Or is it something else?  I only ask because my player at age 12/13 had soccer goals at that age but it was none of those things.  One of those things was a parental goal.  Now I'm not saying that she didn't want to play in a World Cup and she said that she was going to go to the college that she now attends at 8, but that wasn't the immediate goal in her tween brain.  I would love to hear some responses.


Because it is the new shiny new toy in the So Cal club soccer landscape!

Seriously though, she was the one who wanted to attend the DA tryouts and since some of her current teammates were going, I said okay. I never really expected it to amount to much. Then she got an offer for the DA II team and I asked her what she wanted to do. Her preference was to try the DA program and her arguments for it made sense to me.

I am at the point now that the major decisions about soccer are hers to make. I am there in an advisory position really. As we know from being parents, we need to let our children make decisions for themselves. I won't allow her to make egregious mistakes (knowingly), but I think this decision was the proper decision for her.


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## MakeAPlay (Jan 30, 2017)

bababooey said:


> Because it is the new shiny new toy in the So Cal club soccer landscape!
> 
> Seriously though, she was the one who wanted to attend the DA tryouts and since some of her current teammates were going, I said okay. I never really expected it to amount to much. Then she got an offer for the DA II team and I asked her what she wanted to do. Her preference was to try the DA program and her arguments for it made sense to me.
> 
> I am at the point now that the major decisions about soccer are hers to make. I am there in an advisory position really. As we know from being parents, we need to let our children make decisions for themselves. I won't allow her to make egregious mistakes (knowingly), but I think this decision was the proper decision for her.



Smart very smart.  Let them steer the ship (with training wheels of course!).  It gets them ready for the stuff that comes up down the road.  Soon enough you will feel less like a taxi, a teacher and a piggy bank and it will just be the piggy bank feeling.  

Good luck to you and yours!


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## outside! (Jan 30, 2017)

ESPNANALYST said:


> She flat out said she didn't want to try out for one club because if the Coach - I didn't know anything about him!


Clubs should pay more attention to how their coaches act in public. The players are not little mindless robots on the field, they are humans with brains and are paying attention. DD ruled out an entire club because of the actions of one coach at a U10 game. She wanted to make sure she was NEVER coached by that coach.

Good luck to your player. Be sure to take pictures and video, they grow up fast.


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## Soccerhelper (Mar 1, 2020)

Three years later.  Is your dd still playing DA?


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## Giesbock (Mar 1, 2020)

This conversation is worth refreshing!

My kid just turned 16, dual roster DPL and DA.  Both are superb coaches. Some game schedule conflicts, (which we’ll let the coaches sort out!) 

What she’s in it for and why is so critical but being lame soccer dad, I’ve never really even thought about,

I’ve noticed that when she gets ready for DA practice, there seems to be just a tiny bit more attention to details, uniform just so, socks pulled up just so, getting to practice early, etc. just a slightly more serious edge all around. Which tells me that she recognizes the value and seriousness of working out with and competing with the “best”.
Lately, she’s been following MLS and watching Bundesliga games, sitting intently, commenting, taking it all in.  The social aspect of “team” is still there but maybe she’s also realizing that choices she makes are becoming more and more important and will define her future in soccer. 
Will be interested to hear what others say on this topic because going DA brings some inherent tough decisions abou


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## Giesbock (Mar 1, 2020)

..about what you have to give up..


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## Soccerhelper (Mar 1, 2020)

SoCal Blues U17 team just destroyed San Jose Earthquakes 7-0. I'm telling you all, this team is the real deal.  I'm glad my dd got out but I do hear its been great for some @Giesbock.  Any word on the rule changes for 2020-2021 bro?


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## Kicker4Life (Mar 2, 2020)

Soccerhelper said:


> SoCal Blues U17 team just destroyed San Jose Earthquakes 7-0. I'm telling you all, this team is the real deal.  I'm glad my dd got out but I do hear its been great for some @Giesbock.  Any word on the rule changes for 2020-2021 bro?


Is that an upset?


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## jpeter (Mar 2, 2020)

In for the free drinks unless you're the home side and have to bring the ice  & water.

Nothing like that tasty mix (add some extra scopes, nobody like a watery mix)


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## Dubs (Mar 2, 2020)

devupa2.0 said:


> My daughter is 12, but started playing club pretty young. She loves playing soccer and started playing AYSO, then moved to a local club. All the girls were new, having fun, and just seeing what they could do. Lot's of fun with families and making new friends. It was much more of a "social" thing for all involved.
> 
> A few years go by and my daughter's focus/attitude really changed. She was making observations about who the better teams were, which coaches yelled a lot, and which players were a challenge to deal with. She would remember specific girls from teams and point them out when she would see teams at different events. She was also making observations about her own team and the various strengths/weaknesses.
> 
> ...


Love that you recognize the need to let her drive the process.  If it's the other way around success will rarely be realized.  It's her desire/passion.  She needs to make the decisions.  We can only be there to expose them to options and advise the potentially upside/downside.  Well done pops!  Keep that mentality going forward.


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## Soccerhelper (Mar 2, 2020)

Kicker4Life said:


> Is that an upset?


No, it sounds like the De Anza Coach kept all his studs back in NoCal resting or sitting watching on the bench. Two of some of the best clubs in the USA play basically an exhibition or a development game.  More like a waste of time and money coming to play 18-0-4 stud socal team and IMHO top 3 in the age group.  I'm sorry, it doesnt look or feel very competitive but what do I know


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## Soccerhelper (Mar 2, 2020)

To make these rival games like Blues vs Legends or Blues vs Beach or Earthquakes vs either Beach or Blues, and mix in Real CO and that Solar club and let these top 5 or 6  clubs play big time soccer. Colleges come to these games and they don;t have time to waste.  Get the top goats from the top clubs and let them battle out. I think they should take the top A team with all the ages combined at each club.  No teams by age.  A team, B Team and C team. Mix these players up.  Its horrible to travel down to SoCal and not play your best of the best.  Let Surf and the others keep the kids in their age group and keep their policy with DA that no kids can play up unless mandated by the US Coaches and Scouts.  Just a thought I had


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## Kicker4Life (Mar 2, 2020)

Soccerhelper said:


> To make these rival games like Blues vs Legends or Blues vs Beach or Earthquakes vs either Beach or Blues, and mix in Real CO and that Solar club and let these top 5 or 6  clubs play big time soccer. Colleges come to these games and they don;t have time to waste.  Get the top goats from the top clubs and let them battle out. I think they should take the top A team with all the ages combined at each club.  No teams by age.  A team, B Team and C team. Mix these players up.  Its horrible to travel down to SoCal and not play your best of the best.  Let Surf and the others keep the kids in their age group and keep their policy with DA that no kids can play up unless mandated by the US Coaches and Scouts.  Just a thought I had


You are again making lots of assumptions that are not accurate.  Instead of constantly posting opinions, shoot for facts.   Most of the studs from Earthquakes are either at the u17 NT sessions or on load restriction from the u16 London trip.

Have you thought about running for the Board of CalSouth?  You want so much to change, you should take some action!


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## Soccerhelper (Mar 2, 2020)

Kicker4Life said:


> You are again making lots of assumptions that are not accurate.  Instead of constantly posting opinions, shoot for facts.   Most of the studs from Earthquakes are either at the u17 NT sessions or on load restriction from the u16 London trip.
> 
> Have you thought about running for the Board of CalSouth?  You want so much to change, you should take some action!


That's what I just said.  All the studs were resting and I understand that.  But the competition sucked for the Blues U17 team, right?  Is this about true competition or development?  This is so watered down bro that their is no more koolaid or poweraid in the containers. It's just water now.  I hope you guys find more packets because this is weak.  I'm just being honest with my own opinions.  I'm lost with words and don;t understand this league.  I guess you do and that's all cool with me.


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## Kicker4Life (Mar 2, 2020)

Soccerhelper said:


> That's what I just said.  All the studs were resting and I understand that.  But the competition sucked for the Blues U17 team, right?  Is this about true competition or development?  This is so watered down bro that their is no more koolaid or poweraid in the containers. It's just water now.  I hope you guys find more packets because this is weak.  I'm just being honest with my own opinions.  I'm lost with words and don;t understand this league.  I guess you do and that's all cool with me.


What do you mean,  Is this about true competition or development?  How is this the League, Club or Coaches fault?

You’re just using it and another reason to disparage DA, when it would have happened to any team/club with a concentration of YNT players.


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## Soccerhelper (Mar 2, 2020)

Kicker4Life said:


> You are again making lots of assumptions that are not accurate.  Instead of constantly posting opinions, shoot for facts.   Most of the studs from Earthquakes are either at the u17 NT sessions or on load restriction from the u16 London trip.
> 
> Have you thought about running for the Board of CalSouth?  You want so much to change, you should take some action!


I will never, ever and I mean EVER, sit on any soccer board with Docs or higher ups in today's game. That's the problem Kicker imho.  Again, just my two cents on what I have witnessed and still witness with this DA league.  People want answers and I give them a piece of my mind.  I know how these deals get done and I would be voted out my first day bro. No thanks!!!!


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## outside! (Mar 3, 2020)

Soccerhelper said:


> Three years later.  Is your dd still playing DA?


Not sure if you are referring to my post, but my DD is playing in college now.


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## Soccerhelper (Mar 3, 2020)

@outside! Map started this and only got 4 responses.  After I asked my question I soon realized that it was for olders.  My bad and dumb question from me


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## Desert Hound (Mar 3, 2020)

Giesbock said:


> This conversation is worth refreshing!
> 
> My kid just turned 16, dual roster DPL and DA.  Both are superb coaches. Some game schedule conflicts, (which we’ll let the coaches sort out!)
> 
> ...


Hope she enjoys it. My kid had a brief stop in DPL before moving to DA.

Good luck!


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## Woobie06 (Mar 3, 2020)

Not directed at anyone specific...just a general statement...There is so much haterade on this board regarding ECNL, DA, etc.  People hate this or that, or this coach, that coach, club...blah, blah, blah.  It’s entertaining and I guess why I read this forum and post a bit now and again.

The best advice that has been given over, and over, and over in my opinion is find the best coach, best situation suited for your kids level of play whatever that may be, and focus on development.  Not every kid is a unicorn and will be on the best team.  Just like we are all not CEO’s or or Tech Start-up Billionaires...haven’t we all interviewed for a job we wanted and did not get?  Did the big deal you were closing fall through?  Did you crawl in a hole and cry or find another opportunity?  Not every coach will like your kid or vise versa, just like you don’t like every boss you have had or how they feel about you.  Life is not fair...understand that and move on.  Get over it.  Make the best decision for your kid and put them in a position to succeed and have fun with the game.  Teach them some grit and stick-to-it-ness...Or take them to a park with Pugg goals and go at it.  Have fun.  As parents, be supportive, push and pull back when needed.  Most importantly be positive.  Be a positive influence for the kids.  They hear everything we say.  So much negativity and “unfair” situations being communicated.  Lots of excuses....Is anyone having a positive experience with club soccer in SoCal?  Our family has had positives and negatives, but overall very positive...Lots of kids from Socal playing College soccer, and getting great opportunities...according to what is posted...can’t be all lemons out there.


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