# How old is "too old" if holding back student athletes



## M60Gunner (Mar 30, 2021)

I fully realize that parents "holding back" their student/athlete child is nothing new....and even seems to be the accepted norm anymore.  Just curious on views out there?  Should their be a cut off date?  Or has it simply become an accepted norm and basically an afterthought?

Question came to mind as I was looking at ranked players on topdrawersoccer....one of whom has a Jan '06 bday, but is listed as a 2025 graduate.  Turning 19 in January of your senior year of HS seems a bit much.  But maybe that's me (considering I turned 18 three months after I graduated).


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## Carlsbad7 (Mar 30, 2021)

I might be in the minority but waiting until they're 35 seems a little unfair.


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## FutbolHeidiHo (Mar 30, 2021)

M60Gunner said:


> I fully realize that parents "holding back" their student/athlete child is nothing new....and even seems to be the accepted norm anymore.  Just curious on views out there?  Should their be a cut off date?  Or has it simply become an accepted norm and basically an afterthought?
> 
> Question came to mind as I was looking at ranked players on topdrawersoccer....one of whom has a Jan '06 bday, but is listed as a 2025 graduate.  Turning 19 in January of your senior year of HS seems a bit much.  But maybe that's me (considering I turned 18 three months after I graduated).


I have always been appalled by parents who hold their kid back for any reason other than extreme social immaturity or academic deficiency.  There is something really wrong with you as a parent if you are trying to gain athletic advantage by holding your kid back a grade.   And at some point CIF should have an age cut off even if the kid has not used 4 years of high school eligibility.  Maybe they already do.


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## EOTL (Mar 30, 2021)

M60Gunner said:


> I fully realize that parents "holding back" their student/athlete child is nothing new....and even seems to be the accepted norm anymore.  Just curious on views out there?  Should their be a cut off date?  Or has it simply become an accepted norm and basically an afterthought?
> 
> Question came to mind as I was looking at ranked players on topdrawersoccer....one of whom has a Jan '06 bday, but is listed as a 2025 graduate.  Turning 19 in January of your senior year of HS seems a bit much.  But maybe that's me (considering I turned 18 three months after I graduated).


OMG, someone should write Congress about how this is eviscerating youth sports, since there are 10000x more of them than transgender athletes and   we all know how the trans have ruined everything.

This seems like a fake issue. Club soccer is based on age, which makes this a non-issue at the elite levels and where colleges recruit.  Anyone who holds their kid back to gain an advantage in HS soccer - if it has even happened - isn’t going to make a big difference.


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## espola (Mar 30, 2021)

FutbolHeidiHo said:


> I have always been appalled by parents who hold their kid back for any reason other than extreme social immaturity or academic deficiency.  There is something really wrong with you as a parent if you are trying to gain athletic advantage by holding your kid back a grade.   And at some point CIF should have an age cut off even if the kid has not used 4 years of high school eligibility.  Maybe they already do.


From San Diego Section Green Book --

203. AGE REQUIREMENT A student whose 19th birthday is attained prior to June 15 shall not participate or practice on any team in the following school year. A student whose 19th birthday is on or before June 14 is ineligible.


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## timbuck (Mar 30, 2021)

Much like my view on vaccines, abortions, religions and politics-  Not my problem what others want to do.  Do what works for you.


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## Soccermom18 (Mar 30, 2021)

EOTL said:


> OMG, someone should write Congress about how this is eviscerating youth sports, since there are 10000x more of them than transgender athletes and   we all know how the trans have ruined everything.
> 
> This seems like a fake issue. Club soccer is based on age, which makes this a non-issue at the elite levels and where colleges recruit.  Anyone who holds their kid back to gain an advantage in HS soccer - if it has even happened - isn’t going to make a big difference.


I agree.  If a coach has not recruited you before you turn 17, they aren’t going to be looking at a 19 year old senior if they haven’t already.


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## Grace T. (Mar 30, 2021)

FutbolHeidiHo said:


> I have always been appalled by parents who hold their kid back for any reason other than extreme social immaturity or academic deficiency.  There is something really wrong with you as a parent if you are trying to gain athletic advantage by holding your kid back a grade.   And at some point CIF should have an age cut off even if the kid has not used 4 years of high school eligibility.  Maybe they already do.


It’s not just athletic advantage anymore but also academic.  For kindergarten 6 months is a life time for attention, being ready to learn and social skills.  It’s why j kinder is a thing now.  My sons private elementary school wouldn’t allow June-august birthdays to enroll directly into k unless they scored very well on the entrance exam, particularly if they are boys.  Trailing September-dec were automatically put in j k unless they scored highly gifted and the parents pushed for it.


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## Speed (Mar 30, 2021)

just heard friend of my sons is repeating 8th grade for football here in OC. focus is only football


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## Eagle33 (Mar 31, 2021)

Sometimes it's the system that holding kids back, not parents. When my kid was 5 they didn't want to accept him to kindergarten - said he is too hyper and have a short attention span, let's hold him another year. I insisted and went through hell to get him to kindergarten that year. Now he is 19 and finishing sophomore year in college. Never had issue with studying or social interaction.


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## crush (Mar 31, 2021)

Eagle33 said:


> Sometimes it's the system that holding kids back, not parents. When my kid was 5 they didn't want to accept him to kindergarten - said he is too hyper and have a short attention span, let's hold him another year. I insisted and went through hell to get him to kindergarten that year. Now he is 19 and finishing sophomore year in college. Never had issue with studying or social interaction.


I had some higher ups back in the day tell my mom I needed to be tested for some BS behavior problems.  I was just being a little kid dreaming of being outside playing, running, building and learning outside.  Nope, I was forced inside and told to sit still and stop being disruptive.  My mom told me later they were afraid of me


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## Eagle33 (Mar 31, 2021)

crush said:


> I had some higher ups back in the day tell my mom I needed to be tested for some BS behavior problems.  I was just being a little kid dreaming of being outside playing, running, building and learning outside.  Nope, I was forced inside and told to sit still and stop being disruptive.  My mom told me later they were afraid of me


I got a news for you - you haven't changed


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## crush (Mar 31, 2021)

Eagle33 said:


> I got a news for you - you haven't changed


I will never change Eagle.  Check this from the higher ups of today who think they know what's best.  They look like fools today but they must continue because they do what their told or else.  Big game last night vs FV bro.  Student body is in the house.  Guess what?  They were told only two parents from each player is allowed, no students allowed to watch their friends play a soccer match.  They were kicked out.  Huge stadium and plenty of seats.  I went off and told a higher up that the parents should leave and let the kids stay to cheer their fellow students instead.  Higher up had a moment of thought and then said, "we cant break the rules."  I was so pissed off and I let it be known.  Kids are killing themselves more than ever in OC and they can't watch a freaking soccer match.  Some people are going to get a Karma Spanking like no other.


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## crush (Mar 31, 2021)

*Final Warning *to all of you, WHO know what your doing is wrong but you still do it.  Dont use kids for political reasons.  You can take that to the bank of life and watch what happens to your life if you so dare choose wrong.  Love the kids, protect them all and great things will happen to your life.  Use the kids and bad karma will come to you at night in your sleep or during the day when you least expect it.  Trust me on this one fellas.  The choice is for you, the one's you know and the one's you dont know.  Use the kids for your selfish gain and custom millstones will be made just for your neck.


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## focomoso (Mar 31, 2021)

Soccermom18 said:


> I agree.  If a coach has not recruited you before you turn 17, they aren’t going to be looking at a 19 year old senior if they haven’t already.


Things may have changed, but when I was in high school (on the East Coast) every year, we would get a couple of kids doing a "post graduate" year. They were top-level athletes (usually hockey players) and had already been recruited by top-tier schools (usually Ivys), but their academics weren't strong enough to get in. They were encouraged to do this extra year so they could get their academics together and get accepted. It didn't always work, but it often did.


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## Soccermom18 (Mar 31, 2021)

focomoso said:


> Things may have changed, but when I was in high school (on the East Coast) every year, we would get a couple of kids doing a "post graduate" year. They were top-level athletes (usually hockey players) and had already been recruited by top-tier schools (usually Ivys), but their academics weren't strong enough to get in. They were encouraged to do this extra year so they could get their academics together and get accepted. It didn't always work, but it often did.


That's interesting.  I have never heard of it but also not an athlete in HS so I would not have followed that.  So I would love to hear from others if this is happening out here?


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## Mosafie (Mar 31, 2021)

Doesnt really help in soccer when club soccer is age based.

How many colleges actually recruit from high schools now a days.


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## focomoso (Mar 31, 2021)

Mosafie said:


> Doesnt really help in soccer when club soccer is age based.
> 
> How many colleges actually recruit from high schools now a days.


True, but if a kid is a great player, but not academically able to get into Stanford (or whathaveyou) I could see them taking an extra year just to up their grades/scores.


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## Mosafie (Mar 31, 2021)

It looks bad to spend 5 years in high school. If it took a student 5 years to get mediocre grades just to pass high school then college will be an even greater challenge. Time to head to a JC.

Before entering high school is when a student should be held back to correct poor academics.


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## dad4 (Mar 31, 2021)

If it were about academics, you’d see more non-athletes repeat 8th.

I think it's more about parents and coaches who want to see their kids win.  

It would make more sense just to have all HS sports done by age.  If you are older than a HS senior would normally be, then you can’t play HS anymore.  Take a JC class and join that team.

If you are a overage senior and can’t yet handle a JC class, then maybe take a year off sports and study up.


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## Curious (Apr 1, 2021)

My son was 12 when he tried out for the freshman high school team ( this was the June tryout for summer league).  He was put ahead a year for academics, and he is also a summer baby resulting in him being even younger than his classmates.  When he was cut the coach told him he was too small.  The coach was right, at the time he still had a little boy‘s body and he shouldn’t have been on a team with mostly 14 and 15 yr olds.  That year he shot up and started to fill out, but in the mean time he joined the cross country team and discovered he had a talent for that.  He was of course disappointed when he didn’t make the soccer team, but I could truthfully tell him no 12 year old had made the team.  Interestingly several of the top runners on the cross country team should normally have been in the grade ahead, but watching them over a couple years I concluded they would have been outstanding runners even in their normal grade.  Being held back a year may have gotten them noticed earlier, but these boys had abilities that that went beyond the advantage of their age.


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## full90 (Apr 1, 2021)

I have several friends considering holding their kids back and repeating 8th grade. They are saying it’s due to covid educational gaps but it is not. Having played and coaches div 1 athletics and then worked for colleges I gently try to tell them that it really won’t matter. The top 1% of kids getting scholarships are just better. A year won’t matter. The time to maybe take a year would be at the end of high school, if you don’t like the opportunities available to you or feel like X area of your game/body could develop. Gap years after high school are common and are a better use of that extra year. Take 2 classes at a JC, train with a high level u19 club team and hone in on what you want. As long as you don’t enroll full time anywhere you maintain your 4 year eligibility.
But the extra year of 8th grade won’t matter. I’ve known lots of families do it and it “worked” for 2 of them. Would they have gone div 1 on lots of money anyways? Probably. Maybe it the kid is all for it and doesn’t mind it’s whatever. If it is what you think it best for your kid, have at it. It’s like everything else with sports: a gamble with pros and cons.


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## RocketFile (Apr 1, 2021)

Everyone's journey is unique. Doesn't make sense to generalize. So many reasons why it might make sense to have a kid repeat a year, at any time. Do what you think is best for your kid and your specific circumstances. One of my kid's repeated in HS and it was exactly what he needed for academics and soccer.


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## Eagle33 (Apr 1, 2021)

RocketFile said:


> Everyone's journey is unique. Doesn't make sense to generalize. So many reasons why it might make sense to have a kid repeat a year, at any time. Do what you think is best for your kid and your specific circumstances. One of my kid's repeated in HS and it was exactly what he needed for academics and soccer.


Can you elaborate on the reason and how exactly did this help?


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## crush (Apr 1, 2021)

Eagle33 said:


> Can you elaborate on the reason and how exactly did this help?


My buddies kid was small and born in July.  Plus, his reading skills were poor at best.  Because he sucked at reading, he also sucked at taking those stupid tests to see how stupid you really are.  His old man saw right away that his only hope for his son was sports or construction.  He held him back a year and his son got a D1 full ride in football.  Played three years and then went to NFL and the rest is history.  I have a another friend who had a son too.  Pierre thought his son would also be a pro football player.  Fast and scored all the TDs in Mr Pops Football League.  He called me for advice and wanted to know if he should hold his son Sabastian back as Jr since he only made JV.  I told him it wont matter because your son is JC at best and that's me being nice.


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## dad4 (Apr 1, 2021)

RocketFile said:


> Everyone's journey is unique. Doesn't make sense to generalize. So many reasons why it might make sense to have a kid repeat a year, at any time. Do what you think is best for your kid and your specific circumstances. One of my kid's repeated in HS and it was exactly what he needed for academics and soccer.


The trouble comes when the varsity sports slots go mostly to college aged kids.  That doesn't leave much opportunity for kids who are at a normal grade level. 

Put another way, if red shirting gave your kid the chance to play HS soccer, that chance was taken away from a younger player who did not red shirt.


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## RocketFile (Apr 1, 2021)

Stop. This is a manufactured problem to complain about. My kid didn't even play HS. So few kids repeat a year and if your kid is borderline varsity then maybe he/she is just as well suited on JV.

From an academic standpoint my kid has ADHD and the extra year of maturity helped him to get a handle on his academics and it has done wonders on every level.

The improved academics also help with soccer recruiting.

From a soccer perspective he is a bigger, faster, stronger, more mature, more confident version of himself and you better believe that has an impact on DI coaches interest. There is a reason (actually many) why many kids "red shirt" their 1st year of college.

It was the right thing to do for my kid to prepare him to succeed at college - academically and athletically.


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