# First College Coach Call



## MamaBear5 (Dec 5, 2021)

Trying to prep the kiddo for the first college call. Pretty sure we know what to ask the coach but what kinds of questions should we be ready to field? Want to compile a little cheat sheet and maybe practice ahead of time (phone skills aren't something many in this generation are good at). TIA


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## dk_b (Dec 5, 2021)

"What are you interested in studying?" - I'm convinced that the coaches don't really care, especially for young recruits, but they just want to hear HOW the kids answer the question.

They will probably end with "and do you have any (more) questions for me/us?"  So hold one question back for the end.

I also think that as much as we want to let our presence be known, they really don't want to hear from the parents. My daughter took most of her calls on speaker (so I could hear them) but I was always silent - it was not easy (especially when she mis-identified the program's conference!)

Exciting time. Good luck.


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## espola (Dec 5, 2021)

MamaBear5 said:


> Trying to prep the kiddo for the first college call. Pretty sure we know what to ask the coach but what kinds of questions should we be ready to field? Want to compile a little cheat sheet and maybe practice ahead of time (phone skills aren't something many in this generation are good at). TIA


I totally blew my son's first call from a coach.  He was away at a soccer camp that week, so I spoke to the recruiting assistant myself.  I told him that I didn't know much about his school and didn't even know they had a DI program.  It was Akron, who lost in PK's in the NCAA final in 2009 and won it all in 2010.


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## MamaBear5 (Dec 5, 2021)

espola said:


> I totally blew my son's first call from a coach.  He was away at a soccer camp that week, so I spoke to the recruiting assistant myself.  I told him that I didn't know much about his school and didn't even know they had a DI program.  It was Akron, who lost in PK's in the NCAA final in 2009 and won it all in 2010.


Oops...First thing we did when the coach reached out by email was do a deep dive on the school and their program.


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## dk_b (Dec 5, 2021)

MamaBear5 said:


> Oops...First thing we did when the coach reached out by email was do a deep dive on the school and their program.


Don't worry if the call is not perfect or if your kid sounds like, well, a kid. My daughter definitely sounded competent and mature when discussing soccer and sounded like a young teen when talking about "college" because she was.  Coaches understand that. They do not expect a polished end-of-high school young adult.  At least, that was our experience and the parts when my daughter sounded immature did not "cost" her in any way.


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## Yousername (Dec 5, 2021)

First calls generally are geared to the “get to know you phase”, at least that’s what it’s been like in our house. Coaches will often share a lot about their program, facilities, team dynamics, and maybe get into a little bit about tactics. They just want to get to know the kid, and are well aware that young people are probably a little intimidated by this process until a relationship has been established. It’s typically not a do-or-die situation if they aren’t perfect on the first call.


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## crush (Dec 6, 2021)

Yousername said:


> First calls generally are geared to the “get to know you phase”, at least that’s what it’s been like in our house. Coaches will often share a lot about their program, facilities, team dynamics, and maybe get into a little bit about tactics. They just want to get to know the kid, and are well aware that young people are probably a little intimidated by this process until a relationship has been established. It’s typically not a do-or-die situation if they aren’t perfect on the first call.


All the calls my kid was on was all about offers and needing a quick decision.


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## Simisoccerfan (Dec 6, 2021)

crush said:


> All the calls my kid was on was all about offers and needing a quick decision.


So did she accept an offer?


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## Yousername (Dec 6, 2021)

crush said:


> All the calls my kid was on was all about offers and needing a quick decision.


Well, good for you.


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## soccersc (Dec 6, 2021)

crush said:


> All the calls my kid was on was all about offers and needing a quick decision.


Did she give them a quick decision? Did she make them wait? Did she sign?


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## espola (Dec 6, 2021)

soccersc said:


> Did she give them a quick decision? Did she make them wait? Did she sign?


A precaution here -- just because you think the offer is not what you were looking for, it may find it is no longer there after you have tested the waters elsewhere.


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## crush (Dec 6, 2021)

soccersc said:


> Did she give them a quick decision? Did she make them wait? Did she sign?


On some calls, she gave them a quick decision back.  On some she had time to think long and hard.  Spoke to some student athletes to get a lay of the land.  Because of the last 20 months, my dd never really got the official visits she was hoping for.  Lot's of super talented 2022s committed in 8th grade and took up most of the spots.  Most schools are only taking 5 or 6 players, instead of like 12.  One school said she is always welcome and spot is there if she wants it. Pretty cool of the coach and he really liked her.  Far away though and super cold and weather played a factor in saying no.


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## crush (Dec 6, 2021)

espola said:


> A precaution here -- just because you think the offer is not what you were looking for, it may find it is no longer there after you have tested the waters elsewhere.


I agree Espola.  If you email a coach saying your interested and then the coach offers you a nice deal and you say, "let me think about it."  That's why getting 7th and 8th graders to commit was insane, moo.  If your kid can ball, dont send 40 emails out hoping one will bite.  I don;t like that style. Patients is key and do research and seek lot's of advice.  If you know the school(s), then go all in and be prepared for a killer offer.  My dd got some very nice offers and as a family, were super proud of her.


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## crush (Dec 6, 2021)

Yousername said:


> Well, good for you.


Good for her to be honest.  This process was tough for 2022s.  I'll be frank here.  These girls have been through the grin of all grinds with everything that went on with the big battle for supremacy GDA vs ECNL, age change and then the extra year for the current players has made this process difficult.  I am one proud papa of my kids maturity.  She did all the calling and emailing.  Basically, she worked the phones like a champ.  I told her to go after what she wants and nothing less.


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## Footy30 (Dec 6, 2021)

MamaBear5 said:


> Trying to prep the kiddo for the first college call. Pretty sure we know what to ask the coach but what kinds of questions should we be ready to field? Want to compile a little cheat sheet and maybe practice ahead of time (phone skills aren't something many in this generation are good at). TIA


Best of luck to you and your kiddo!!


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## Simisoccerfan (Dec 8, 2021)

crush said:


> On some calls, she gave them a quick decision back.  On some she had time to think long and hard.  Spoke to some student athletes to get a lay of the land.  Because of the last 20 months, my dd never really got the official visits she was hoping for.  Lot's of super talented 2022s committed in 8th grade and took up most of the spots.  Most schools are only taking 5 or 6 players, instead of like 12.  One school said she is always welcome and spot is there if she wants it. Pretty cool of the coach and he really liked her.  Far away though and super cold and weather played a factor in saying no.


Still confused about what year is your kid and has she accepted an offer?


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## crush (Dec 8, 2021)

Simisoccerfan said:


> Still confused about what year is your kid and has she accepted an offer?


Sorry about all the confusion.  Class of 2022.  She will announce on National Signing Day, 02/02/2022


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## SWHPH (Dec 9, 2021)

Congrats to your daughter, she must be elated!

As for questions from coaches, what is the best answer to give when asked "when do you see yourself committing?"
We've been asked this a few times and it has left my daughter squirming to find the right answer. She didn't want to say as soon as I can but felt that leaving too much time wasn't good either.

Any thoughts??


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## crush (Dec 9, 2021)

SWHPH said:


> Congrats to your daughter, she must be elated!
> 
> As for questions from coaches, what is the best answer to give when asked "when do you see yourself committing?"
> We've been asked this a few times and it has left my daughter squirming to find the right answer. She didn't want to say as soon as I can but felt that leaving too much time wasn't good either.
> ...


I'm assuming the question is directed at me?  I'm also assuming an offer has been put on the table?  What year?  Wat is #1 importance to player?  #2?  #3?  Answer these questions for me.

Coach: When do you see yourself committing?

Student: 

I have a few ways I would encourage your dd to answer the best way for both parties based on the answers you give.  I'm here to help anyone who needs advice.  It's just advice and take some of it, all of it or none of it.


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## crush (Dec 9, 2021)

SWHPH said:


> *Congrats to your daughter, she must be elated!*
> 
> As for questions from coaches, what is the best answer to give when asked "when do you see yourself committing?"
> We've been asked this a few times and it has left my daughter squirming to find the right answer. She didn't want to say as soon as I can but felt that leaving too much time wasn't good either.
> ...


It's nice to have a plan in place and choices to choose from.  I know were all grateful as a little family to see the joy on her face.  She truly loves to play soccer matches with and against other girls and is looking forward to the next chapter in her journey to play soccer after high school


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## dk_b (Dec 9, 2021)

SWHPH said:


> Congrats to your daughter, she must be elated!
> 
> As for questions from coaches, what is the best answer to give when asked "when do you see yourself committing?"
> We've been asked this a few times and it has left my daughter squirming to find the right answer. She didn't want to say as soon as I can but felt that leaving too much time wasn't good either.
> ...


With one of the two “finalists” when my daughter was making her decision, she said she wanted to see the team play - so wait until the fall (this conversation was happening in April or May of her freshman year (before the current recruiting rule or even that interim rule that lasted about a year)) - and the coach’s response was chilling for my daughter (“sure, that’s fine. But just so you know, there are two XXs in YY who have expressed a desire to play for me. They are pretty good.  You are our #1 but we may have to make a move”).  Based on how their recruiting turned out, it was BS but we did not know at the time and it put stress on my kid as she narrowed her choices (in fact, when this coach said this, there were not two finalists as she was still talking to/visiting other programs).

I think an honest answer is always the best but how it’s crafted is important.  Something like, “I’m early in this process. I don’t want it to drag out but there are a few conversations I need to have before making a decision.”  That “decision” could be a timetable or a commitment.

They will use the pressure of how many slots they have so it is really good to have an accurate sense of where your kid stacks up.  Is she a top level GK and they are in a “need” year (say, their starter is entering her Sr season and they need to reload)? That’s both a position of strength and vulnerability b/c once they find their GK, that offer is gone. Is she a really good midfielder who can contribute but may not be a 60 to 90 min frosh and her bigger mins will come down the road?  That’s a different sort of leverage or freedom.  Is she a national team-level, 4 or 5 star defender who the program sees as an immediate starter?  If so, they will ALWAYS have time for her to make a decision (well, more time).


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## crush (Dec 9, 2021)

dk_b said:


> With one of the two “finalists” when my daughter was making her decision, she said she wanted to see the team play - so wait until the fall (this conversation was happening in April or May of her freshman year (before the current recruiting rule or even that interim rule that lasted about a year)) - and the coach’s response was chilling for my daughter (“sure, that’s fine. But just so you know, there are two XXs in YY who have expressed a desire to play for me. They are pretty good.  You are our #1 but we may have to make a move”).  Based on how their recruiting turned out, it was BS but we did not know at the time and it put stress on my kid as she narrowed her choices (in fact, when this coach said this, there were not two finalists as she was still talking to/visiting other programs).
> 
> I think an honest answer is always the best but how it’s crafted is important.  Something like, “I’m early in this process. I don’t want it to drag out but there are a few conversations I need to have before making a decision.”  That “decision” could be a timetable or a commitment.
> 
> They will use the pressure of how many slots they have so it is really good to have an accurate sense of where your kid stacks up.  Is she a top level GK and they are in a “need” year (say, their starter is entering her Sr season and they need to reload)? That’s both a position of strength and vulnerability b/c once they find their GK, that offer is gone. Is she a really good midfielder who can contribute but may not be a 60 to 90 min frosh and her bigger mins will come down the road?  That’s a different sort of leverage or freedom.  Is she a national team-level, 4 or 5 star defender who the program sees as an immediate starter?  If so, they will ALWAYS have time for her to make a decision (well, more time).


My pals dd got that same type of pitch when she was in 8th grade over the phone.  She was told she was his #1 but she had 8 days to decide or he would take the #2 best 8th grader, who he said has already told him she is all in ((he took both btw)).  This story is a good one because four years later she picked a good place.  I have another pal whose kid did the same thing but she quit balling over burn out and injuries.  I'm truly sad for many of the young females at that age that pressure like that.


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## dk_b (Dec 9, 2021)

crush said:


> My pals dd got that same type of pitch when she was in 8th grade over the phone.  She was told she was his #1 but she had 8 days to decide or he would take the #2 best 8th grader, who he said has already told him she is all in ((he took both btw)).  This story is a good one because four years later she picked a good place.  I have another pal whose kid did the same thing but she quit balling over burn out and injuries.  I'm truly sad for many of the young females at that age that pressure like that.


It is a big reason why I think that the new rule is better for the kids. I remember the GK coach who recruited her to the school where my daughter landed (she left not long after my daughter committed) telling me how much recruiting had changed since she was a HS player (and she was not that old).  She took all 5 of her “official” visits - like football and basketball players do - but b/c verbals are “locked”, I don’t know any of my daughter’s teammates who took more than the one visit to the school to which she had committed.  Making those verbals in 8th and 9th grade as kids were doing was just too young, in my view, and a large reason why women’s soccer has such a high transfer rate (anecdotal - I have not studied this).  I think I have said here that where my daughter is going to school is, I believe, the right place for her, I do think (and she agrees) that she was too young to make the commitment. But instead of seeing the attention as a “good thing”, she was feeling pressure and a heavy weight. She received her first YNT invite the day she committed and I asked her if she wanted to hold off since she’d likely get more opportunities but she said “no”.  For the goals she could articulate at the time - some of which remained her goals when she signed her NLI - it was the right place.

I cannot imagine making any decision w/o actually visiting the school, seeing the facilities, talking with the coaches in person, meeting players (not that they would necessarily be there but it would give your daughter a sense of the type of player the program attracts), talking with someone from the academic side, etc. Going back to the question posed by @SWHPH - one response would be that you’d need to do an unofficial visit before deciding (If that has not yet happened). Making a decision JUST by phone/zoom/written interactions and a “virtual” tour of campus is something I’d recommend avoiding at all cost.  There are big differences out there and seeing them in person can be huge (I won’t give details but that information was critical in deciding/eliminating two Pac-12 programs who would seemingly be the same on a lot of those institutional qualities but were clearly different in terms of fit for my kid)


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## crush (Dec 9, 2021)

dk_b said:


> It is a big reason why I think that the new rule is better for the kids. I remember the GK coach who recruited her to the school where my daughter landed (she left not long after my daughter committed) telling me how much recruiting had changed since she was a HS player (and she was not that old).  She took all 5 of her “official” visits - like football and basketball players do - but b/c verbals are “locked”, I don’t know any of my daughter’s teammates who took more than the one visit to the school to which she had committed.  Making those verbals in 8th and 9th grade as kids were doing was just too young, in my view, and a large reason why women’s soccer has such a high transfer rate (anecdotal - I have not studied this).  I think I have said here that where my daughter is going to school is, I believe, the right place for her, I do think (and she agrees) that she was too young to make the commitment. But instead of seeing the attention as a “good thing”, she was feeling pressure and a heavy weight. She received her first YNT invite the day she committed and I asked her if she wanted to hold off since she’d likely get more opportunities but she said “no”.  For the goals she could articulate at the time - some of which remained her goals when she signed her NLI - it was the right place.
> 
> I cannot imagine making any decision w/o actually visiting the school, seeing the facilities, talking with the coaches in person, meeting players (not that they would necessarily be there but it would give your daughter a sense of the type of player the program attracts), talking with someone from the academic side, etc. Going back to the question posed by @SWHPH - one response would be that you’d need to do an unofficial visit before deciding (If that has not yet happened). Making a decision JUST by phone/zoom/written interactions and a “virtual” tour of campus is something I’d recommend avoiding at all cost.  There are big differences out there and seeing them in person can be huge (I won’t give details but that information was critical in deciding/eliminating two Pac-12 programs who would seemingly be the same on a lot of those institutional qualities but were clearly different in terms of fit for my kid)


Sage!!!  I love you man   That was the plan for my dd but covid and that changed what she was hoping to do.  I give EVERYONE grace and mercy because this is not an easy thing to fix.  I do feel if we would ALL try and help ALL the girls with the mental pressure of playing soccer after high school, the better we will ALL be.  I have no skin in the game and only have witnessed the pressure through my dd life the last four years and a few dads & moms who actually still like me.  One mom had to go and spend time with her dd because it was so mentally hard for her as a freshman.  DD is doing great today but had a hard time as a freshman.


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## socalkdg (Dec 13, 2021)

My daughters first call was a zoom call in front of the whole coaching staff.  Eek.  I may have whispered one thing to her,  wife said she could hear it.   Oops.  She did really well, but looked extra serious, which isn't my daughter, but completely understand.  I will say she has started to get really good with chatting the coaches at ID camps.  I think most schools are close to done with 2022's, but seem to be keeping one or two spots open for that unicorn that is still out there.  As a 2023 I'm hoping my daughter finds a school and verbally commits by Spring.  If not may have to move to an ECNL club just for the extra exposure.   We shall see.   All these emails are making my daughter a better writer, which is good.


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