# Absolutely heartbreaking news out of Stanford



## gkrent (Mar 2, 2022)

Update on the loss of an undergraduate student - Stanford Report
					

Vice Provost for Student Affairs Susie Brubaker-Cole and Director of Athletics Bernard Muir sent the following message to the campus community on the death of Stanford student Katie Meyer.




					news.stanford.edu
				




She was a part of our SoCal soccer family.  I'm so sad about this and my heart goes out to her family.

I hope that D1 coaching staff across the nation start taking mental health more seriously.  The pressure these women are under is unreal.


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## dk_b (Mar 2, 2022)

gkrent said:


> Update on the loss of an undergraduate student - Stanford Report
> 
> 
> Vice Provost for Student Affairs Susie Brubaker-Cole and Director of Athletics Bernard Muir sent the following message to the campus community on the death of Stanford student Katie Meyer.
> ...


Been chatting with another collegiate GK parent about this exact point. They walk a razor's edge.


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## Mystery Train (Mar 2, 2022)

omg.  My kid just texted me the news.  Devastating


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## Jason DiDomenico (Mar 2, 2022)

My daughter called me this morning from school to tell me.

So Sad


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## GKDAD (Mar 2, 2022)

So very sad.   My DD shared keeper trainer and trained with her.   A great player and a wonderful human being with a bright future.   Be kind, hug your family and appreciate every day we have together.


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## EvilGoalie 21 (Mar 2, 2022)

Absolutely tragic.  One of the worst things to hear.


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## RSD (Mar 2, 2022)

To her parents and her sister, I am so very sorry.  My heart goes out to you in your time of pain.  This one hurts us all.


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## Yousername (Mar 2, 2022)

I haven’t been able to shake the feeling that’s hanging over me today. I have only 1 1/2 years left before I send my daughter off to college. Had to have a talk with her after school. Very hard but so necessary.


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## greekgirl (Mar 4, 2022)

Listening to Katie's parents in this interview on Today. Just heartbreaking.. makes me wonder what she was defending a teammate about and why Stanford was going to punish her for it.

https://www.today.com/news/sports/katie-meyer-death-parents-interview-rcna18694


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## outside! (Mar 4, 2022)

greekgirl said:


> Listening to Katie's parents in this interview on Today. Just heartbreaking.. makes me wonder what she was defending a teammate about and why Stanford was going to punish her for it.
> 
> https://www.today.com/news/sports/katie-meyer-death-parents-interview-rcna18694


So brave of her parents to get the story out in hopes of helping others.


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## crush (Nov 24, 2022)

Katie was doing what a bad ass leader does. Listen up men. It's time to wake up and help. Stop hiding behind lawyers losers!!!  Blackmail comes in all forms folks. My heart aches for the young girl who was allegedly assaulted by a football player. Katie is captain and a SR and probably had seen enough and "spilled" some coffee on the perp. Come on guys, lets fix this now. 









						Meyer family sues Stanford for wrongful death
					

The parents of Katie Meyer, a star soccer goalie who died by suicide last spring, filed a wrongful death lawsuit against Stanford on Wednesday.




					www.espn.com


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## SurFutbol (Nov 28, 2022)

crush said:


> Katie was doing what a bad ass leader does. Listen up men. It's time to wake up and help. Stop hiding behind lawyers losers!!!  Blackmail comes in all forms folks. My heart aches for the young girl who was allegedly assaulted by a football player. Katie is captain and a SR and probably had seen enough and "spilled" some coffee on the perp. Come on guys, lets fix this now.
> 
> 
> 
> ...


It sounds like Ms. Meyer physically assaulted someone whom she personally accused of wrongdoing that no one here has any idea did or didn't happen.  If she was doing what "bad ass leaders" do, it also proves what she did was intentional and that she lied to her school about what happened, which presumably also contributed to the decision to call her before a disciplinary board.  In other words, it sounds like she absolutely deserved to be brought before a disciplinary committee.  She would have had every opportunity to explain and provide evidence, and the school would have had every opportunity to clear her or impose appropriate discipline, which almost certainly would have been minor if the allegations about the football player could be substantiated.

Neither Katie Meyer nor any other student get to be judge, jury and executioner for unproven allegations against someone else.  They also don't get to cover it up with subsequent lies without consequences.  Stanford did not negligently cause her death by expecting her to explain herself before a disciplinary committee that had not even passed any judgment.  What happened was a tragedy, but it was not Stanford's fault.


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## crush (Nov 28, 2022)

SurFutbol said:


> It sounds like Ms. Meyer physically assaulted someone whom she personally accused of wrongdoing that no one here has any idea did or didn't happen.  If she was doing what "bad ass leaders" do, it also proves what she did was intentional and that she lied to her school about what happened, which presumably also contributed to the decision to call her before a disciplinary board.  In other words, it sounds like she absolutely deserved to be brought before a disciplinary committee.  She would have had every opportunity to explain and provide evidence, and the school would have had every opportunity to clear her or impose appropriate discipline, which almost certainly would have been minor if the allegations about the football player could be substantiated.
> 
> Neither Katie Meyer nor any other student get to be judge, jury and executioner for unproven allegations against someone else.  They also don't get to cover it up with subsequent lies without consequences.  Stanford did not negligently cause her death by expecting her to explain herself before a disciplinary committee that had not even passed any judgment.  What happened was a tragedy, but it was not Stanford's fault.


I never said it was Big U's fault Surf Futbol. I said she was protecting a 17 year old female from a alleged sexual attack. I know a dad they beat the crap out of his dd rapist and was let go. Leaders do what leaders do. The Truth will not come out most likely and will end with a big fat NDA and we will never know. Happy Monday to you Golden Gate-EOTL Long Game


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## sockma (Nov 28, 2022)

SurFutbol said:


> It sounds like Ms. Meyer physically assaulted someone whom she personally accused of wrongdoing that no one here has any idea did or didn't happen.  If she was doing what "bad ass leaders" do, it also proves what she did was intentional and that she lied to her school about what happened, which presumably also contributed to the decision to call her before a disciplinary board.  In other words, it sounds like she absolutely deserved to be brought before a disciplinary committee.  She would have had every opportunity to explain and provide evidence, and the school would have had every opportunity to clear her or impose appropriate discipline, which almost certainly would have been minor if the allegations about the football player could be substantiated.
> 
> Neither Katie Meyer nor any other student get to be judge, jury and executioner for unproven allegations against someone else.  They also don't get to cover it up with subsequent lies without consequences.  Stanford did not negligently cause her death by expecting her to explain herself before a disciplinary committee that had not even passed any judgment.  What happened was a tragedy, but it was not Stanford's fault.


Stanford didn't have a choice but to bring disciplinary action against Katie, regardless of whether they supported her behavior.  A school does have a duty to all their students, even the ones under investigation for rape.

My guess, if I were her parents, I would bring this lawsuit to finish what Katie wanted done, bring these allegations regarding this incident into light and make sure the football player can't just sweep all this under some expensive/entitled rug.


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## SurFutbol (Nov 28, 2022)

crush said:


> I never said it was Big U's fault Surf Futbol. I said she was protecting a 17 year old female from a alleged sexual attack. I know a dad they beat the crap out of his dd rapist and was let go. Leaders do what leaders do. The Truth will not come out most likely and will end with a big fat NDA and we will never know. Happy Monday to you Golden Gate-EOTL Long Game


I did not accuse you of claiming this was Stanford's fault.  Not everything is about you, even if you believe otherwise.


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## crush (Nov 28, 2022)

SurFutbol said:


> I did not accuse you of claiming this was Stanford's fault.  Not everything is about you, even if you believe otherwise.


Ok Surf Futbol


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## TopesWin (Dec 2, 2022)

sockma said:


> Stanford didn't have a choice but to bring disciplinary action against Katie, regardless of whether they supported her behavior.  A school does have a duty to all their students, even the ones under investigation for rape.
> 
> My guess, if I were her parents, I would bring this lawsuit to finish what Katie wanted done, bring these allegations regarding this incident into light and make sure the football player can't just sweep all this under some expensive/entitled rug.


I can't imagine the pain of losing a child, and I hate to criticize someone who has, but it really, really rubs me the wrong way when I hear what sounds like legit propaganda such as the claim that Ms. Meyer "spilled" coffee on the football player/alleged perp.  "Spilling" is an accident, and certainly meant to convey something less than a deliberate assault with hot coffer, so right there the parents lost me.  If she deliberately tossed hot coffee on someone, but had a good reason for doing so, just say it.  Or if was an accident just say that, which I'm sure they would have.  

Then, in the interview with the lawyer on CNN, the lawyer kept saying that Stanford did something wrong by sending the email notice when it was "dark" at 7pm, and when Katie was alone.  A grown woman is afraid of the dark at 7pm?  Her room had no lights?  Is Stanford supposed to know whether she is with someone at the moment they hit "send" on the email?  It really seems like a stretch and if they have to stretch it that far, how weak is the case? I don't have any insight into what happened other than what I hear in the news, so I have no idea if the case is weak or not, but I really hope they have more than what they are alleging in the complaint.  

And finally, are we really supposed to believe that a "woke" liberal university in California has now decided that they will deliberately target a star female player on a championship-winning soccer team to protect a male athlete - one accused of rape, no less - on their weak-ass football team?  There's no freaking way I'm believing that.  Someone let me know if there's something I missed, because that lawyer did the family no favors in the CNN interview.


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## sockma (Dec 2, 2022)

TopesWin said:


> I can't imagine the pain of losing a child, and I hate to criticize someone who has, but it really, really rubs me the wrong way when I hear what sounds like legit propaganda such as the claim that Ms. Meyer "spilled" coffee on the football player/alleged perp.  "Spilling" is an accident, and certainly meant to convey something less than a deliberate assault with hot coffer, so right there the parents lost me.  If she deliberately tossed hot coffee on someone, but had a good reason for doing so, just say it.  Or if was an accident just say that, which I'm sure they would have.
> 
> Then, in the interview with the lawyer on CNN, the lawyer kept saying that Stanford did something wrong by sending the email notice when it was "dark" at 7pm, and when Katie was alone.  A grown woman is afraid of the dark at 7pm?  Her room had no lights?  Is Stanford supposed to know whether she is with someone at the moment they hit "send" on the email?  It really seems like a stretch and if they have to stretch it that far, how weak is the case? I don't have any insight into what happened other than what I hear in the news, so I have no idea if the case is weak or not, but I really hope they have more than what they are alleging in the complaint.
> 
> And finally, are we really supposed to believe that a "woke" liberal university in California has now decided that they will deliberately target a star female player on a championship-winning soccer team to protect a male athlete - one accused of rape, no less - on their weak-ass football team?  There's no freaking way I'm believing that.  Someone let me know if there's something I missed, because that lawyer did the family no favors in the CNN interview.


Whether she deliberately placed the coffee on the football player is not important any longer.  Most likely she did but I wasn't there. What is important right now for the family is the following 2 things:

1) should a university send an email to a student with such strong negative implications at 7PM o OR  should the university have called her in, and spoken to her in person about it instead?  Letting her know  in person that there's support for her and ways to make amends and that it's not the end all to her career and life at Stanford.  I would recommend the university change their system.  I don't know of any decent company that delivers negative news thru emails.  Negative news should be delivered in person.

2) no one was discussing the football player until this lawsuit came out.  NOW, we all want to know what the situation was and whether it was handled properly.  This prevents the football player and his parents, not Stanford, from using any of their resources to stop justice from being carried out properly.  No one is saying Stanford is trying to cover anything up.

I'm not sure what "woke" has to do with Stanford's decision to discipline the football player.  It's not political, it's what they can do based on legal advice from their legal counsel.  Maybe Stanford would love to release all the information on the football player because they know he's dirty, but they don't have the legal option to.

I think you can judge the lawyer's likeability based on the lawyer's performance but I'm not sure why you draw that inference to her parents.  I see two very legitimate reasons for the parents to sue Stanford.  

Whether they prevail is probably not important to her parents.  They want to bring these two situations to light and I commend them for it.

If I were her parents, I'd bring this suit too.  I might choose a more likeable attorney.


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## TopesWin (Dec 2, 2022)

sockma said:


> Whether she deliberately placed the coffee on the football player is not important any longer.  Most likely she did but I wasn't there. What is important right now for the family is the following 2 things:
> 
> 1) should a university send an email to a student with such strong negative implications at 7PM o OR  should the university have called her in, and spoken to her in person about it instead?  Letting her know  in person that there's support for her and ways to make amends and that it's not the end all to her career and life at Stanford.  I would recommend the university change their system.  I don't know of any decent company that delivers negative news thru emails.  Negative news should be delivered in person.
> 
> ...


I'm anxiously awaiting the day when a male student at Stanford or other elite university is accused of sexual assault of a female student and he gets an in-person meeting from a sweet, kind-hearted counselor at the dean's office saying, "we're here to support you through this, and don't worry it won't be the end of your career at Stanford."  That will never happen.  This would be required by the rule that Ms. Meyer's parents are insisting on. So the absurdity of it indicates to me that they think their daughter was innocent (based on info we aren't privy to, so maybe she was) but that any football players accused of sexual assault get the other rule where they aren't treated with kid gloves, but get the boot first and asked questions later.


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## sockma (Dec 2, 2022)

TopesWin said:


> I'm anxiously awaiting the day when a male student at Stanford or other elite university is accused of sexual assault of a female student and he gets an in-person meeting from a sweet, kind-hearted counselor at the dean's office saying, "we're here to support you through this, and don't worry it won't be the end of your career at Stanford."  That will never happen.  This would be required by the rule that Ms. Meyer's parents are insisting on. So the absurdity of it indicates to me that they think their daughter was innocent (based on info we aren't privy to, so maybe she was) but that any football players accused of sexual assault get the other rule where they aren't treated with kid gloves, but get the boot first and asked questions later.


Every student, regardless of who or what they did, should be addressed in person if possible.  When you fire someone, think about firing someone, or just want to address an act that needs corrective action, should be addressed in person.  When do you send an email that says I'm going to fire you or thinking of firing you or planning to punish you soon?  You don't because it's just asking for trouble.


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## Keeperkat (Dec 3, 2022)

TopesWin said:


> I'm anxiously awaiting the day when a male student at Stanford or other elite university is accused of sexual assault of a female student and he gets an in-person meeting from a sweet, kind-hearted counselor at the dean's office saying, "we're here to support you through this, and don't worry it won't be the end of your career at Stanford."  That will never happen.  This would be required by the rule that Ms. Meyer's parents are insisting on. So the absurdity of it indicates to me that they think their daughter was innocent (based on info we aren't privy to, so maybe she was) but that any football players accused of sexual assault get the other rule where they aren't treated with kid gloves, but get the boot first and asked questions later.


No need for you to be anxiously awaiting.....

Apparently a complaint of sexual assault by a male student of an underage female does not warrant the same rigorous 6 month investigation and disciplinary hearing that spilled coffee by a female student warrants. 

"The lawsuit says Stanford failed to initiate any meaningful Title IX or OCS disciplinary process for the football player even though the school was required to dismiss the player from the team under its own policies pledging zero tolerance for sexual violence."

Stanford's response: "In fact, it is the university that initially reported this claim to Stanford’s Title IX office and the police. However, the Title IX office did not pursue the matter since the criteria for moving forward with an investigation were not met."  

Interestingly and per Title IX updated May 2020 "All federally funded universities and colleges are responsible for complying with Title IX. One stipulation of the law is that all higher ed schools *must investigate any report *of a gender-based incident." So the question is, why didn't they investigate the alledged sexual assault incident?


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## Orangeteam (Dec 3, 2022)

The OCS at Stanford has a process for when to communicate with students about alleged student violations.
They state that the OCS should refrain from communicating at certain times to ensure the messaging does not impact the student's academics and mental state.  This implies Standford understands the timing vs. potential impacts    

There have been 20 years of University led studies with HR groups that advise against communicating strong messaging on Mon, Fridays, afterhours, etc.    The goal being reducing opportunites for workplace violence, and any impacts to both remaining employees and the impacted employee mental health.    

https://studentjusticeproject.com/   highlights a 10+ year ongoing issue with the whole process.  I believe there were even recommendations given to to Standford back in '11 or '12 on how to fix it.  They changed the name to from Office of Judicial Affairs to Offcice of Community Standards and that was about it. 

I imagine the history of the OCS and even the current process to delay communications will be where the lawyers spend a lot of time.


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