# Criteria to switch Clubs



## soccerchauffer33 (Nov 1, 2017)

I am a new parent to club soccer. My son is a 09 player for a smaller club in North County. After a game against a very large neighboring club one of the other clubs parents invited my son to play with the team we had just played in a Sunday indoor "fun" game.

I am not naive enough to not see what is happening. I have to admit it is a bit flattering as a parent. I have no issues with the current club or coach and my some seems to enjoy playing for the coach and the team.

Should I stay put of explore another club. After letting the current coach know he was going to give it a try he simply said to let him know our intentions going forward after the season. Ive heard thru the grapevine that this large club tends to treat their 3rd, 5th and 5th teams as purely revenue.

I dont want to screw up a good thing. just looking for opinions of more seasoned parents.


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## Eagle33 (Nov 1, 2017)

soccerchauffer33 said:


> I am a new parent to club soccer. My son is a 09 player for a smaller club in North County. After a game against a very large neighboring club one of the other clubs parents invited my son to play with the team we had just played in a Sunday indoor "fun" game.
> 
> I am not naive enough to not see what is happening. I have to admit it is a bit flattering as a parent. I have no issues with the current club or coach and my some seems to enjoy playing for the coach and the team.
> 
> ...


At U9 you need a Great coach and playing time for your kid. Which club or team or level he is on is irrelevant.


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## coachrefparent (Nov 1, 2017)

North County where? Who are the clubs/coaches?


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## soccerchauffer33 (Nov 1, 2017)

I don't feel comfortable posting them here/


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## chargerfan (Nov 1, 2017)

If you and your son are happy where you are why would you look around?


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## watfly (Nov 1, 2017)

There is no harm in checking out other clubs; however, there is no rush to move your child at this age if he is happy with his current team/coach/club.  Your not going to miss out on an opportunity in the future because you didn't make a change now.  Furthermore, the parents invite to play is not necessarily a hard sell for you to come the bigger club.  Its not uncommon for kids from multiple clubs to form a team for a non-club sanctioned indoor or futsal league.

That having been said I would take every opportunity to have your son play with kids from other clubs or guest for other club teams.  My 10 year old has been doing this for a few years and it has always been a very positive experience.  Variety is great for a kid and its good to hear instruction from other coaches.  Keep in mind though that some coaches/clubs frown on having their kids guest or practice with other clubs, ironically its usually the same clubs that have no problem bringing in the top kids from other clubs  to guest so they can win tournaments (instead of guesting a kid from a lower team within the club).  A good coach will have no problem with your kid doing something with another club as long as it doesn't impact the current team.  Just be upfront about it, which it seems you have.


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## GKDad65 (Nov 2, 2017)

The grass is always greener on the other side,...until a drought.
Don't believe the hype put out by various clubs and parents.
Stay local, stay close, have fun.
Your NOT going to play for Manchester UTD, no matter what the club is selling, or what cool uniform patches you get to wear.


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## Not_that_Serious (Nov 2, 2017)

dont fall into the club jumping trap. seen whole teams leave or coaches take teams with them and kids dropping out of the sport in a year. sucks, but see it often. see it even at lower levels like signature/plus. not life or death. just get the kid a good coach where he is improving. awesome to be on a first place team, but not important at that age.


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## sandshark (Nov 2, 2017)

If you are happy and most importantly your little guy is happy then stay right where you are. The most important thing at that age is the team, coach and club makes your little kid happy and helps to build a love and passion for the sport that will carry on into his older years when passion and skill are both key to playing at the best of his ability.  Do not buy into the BS he needs to be playing at some super club at age 9-10-11-12 or even 13!


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## Not_that_Serious (Nov 2, 2017)

sandshark said:


> If you are happy and most importantly your little guy is happy then stay right where you are. The most important thing at that age is the team, coach and club makes your little kid happy and helps to build a love and passion for the sport that will carry on into his older years when passion and skill are both key to playing at the best of his ability.  Do not buy into the BS he needs to be playing at some super club at age 9-10-11-12 or even 13!


yeah or a club telling you to "make a decision or the spot will be filled"


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## TangoCity (Nov 2, 2017)

Each family is different.  Find out what your son wants to do ... keeping in mind like a previous poster has said that at that age the most important things are

1) Coach
2) Playing Time

And from past experience being on a second (2+) level team at a big club is full of pitfalls.


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## Goforgoal (Nov 2, 2017)

TangoCity said:


> Each family is different.  Find out what your son wants to do ... keeping in mind like a previous poster has said that at that age the most important things are
> 
> 1) Coach
> 2) Playing Time
> ...


Care to elaborate on some of the pitfalls you experienced?


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## Toch (Nov 2, 2017)

soccerchauffer33 said:


> I am a new parent to club soccer. My son is a 09 player for a smaller club in North County. After a game against a very large neighboring club one of the other clubs parents invited my son to play with the team we had just played in a Sunday indoor "fun" game.
> 
> I am not naive enough to not see what is happening. I have to admit it is a bit flattering as a parent. I have no issues with the current club or coach and my some seems to enjoy playing for the coach and the team.
> 
> ...


Don’t fall for the BS of other parents/coaches/clubs. It’s always greener until you get there and see it for yourself. It’s about your kid not your ego. We all love hearing how great little Becky/little Bobby is... just don’t make the mistake. Big name clubs don’t mean crap, unless you are on one of the top teams (13-17yrsnold) or their academy.


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## chargerfan (Nov 2, 2017)

Goforgoal said:


> Care to elaborate on some of the pitfalls you experienced?


They are rarely, if ever, considered for the top team. Clubs recruit from outside.


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## Gokicksomegrass (Nov 2, 2017)

Goforgoal said:


> Care to elaborate on some of the pitfalls you experienced?


Here are couple rl scenarios. 
1. Player tries out, but gets put on B team with parents chasing after the golden ring of the A team. When the ring comes near, your
kid grabs for it, but oops, the club pulls it away. Try harder next time, until you the parent figure it out that it is b.s. and move to
a club that your kid will be appreciated, if the damage hasn't been done.

2. A team coach "demotes" an A team player to B team and elevates a B team player to A team. Two effects: See? if you don't
work hard, you will be demoted. See? the golden ring is possible! Try again! All is right and fair in the world.

3. Most common: A stud who was developed by a better coaches from a different club comes and practices with A team. 
Parents are afraid, but why? Since the club, team, and coach are so awesome, why break up the band? Nothing to fear.
B.S. Coaches will replace anyone with someone who can help him/her win. Been there since U8? BFD. Loyal and
gave stuff for the auction? Thanks and so long, chump. 

So what is a parent to do? Focus on your kid and make a plan to help your kid get better. Find a coach and team where
your child will like and develop. Foster a love for the game, until that love self-ignites. Chasing hardware is nice, but
kids remember the experiences and how they felt longer. All the medals and trophies are in a box in my kid's room, but we
still talk about how much fun this was or remember when we went for ice cream after that tough loss. Best of times.
Good luck.


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## TangoCity (Nov 2, 2017)

Goforgoal said:


> Care to elaborate on some of the pitfalls you experienced?


It was with a larger club (Girls) that is now part of the DA program.  Some of the pitfalls were ... the club and coach treated second/third teams differently.  They practiced on worse fields, the coach (who had three teams) would miss games of his lower level teams if there were conflicts.  Coach probably made 5 out of 12 league games during season.  The B team was constantly losing players (club passed to A team) every week to help the struggling "A" team do better.  Sometimes even permanently moving players from B to A team during middle of the season.  It maybe opened some playing time up for "one or two" player(s) but it made the team weaker and the kids wanted to win so they could get promoted to a higher level next year.  But then the next season the rosters got moved around and you pretty much had to start over again with your team the next season.  We left.  Same sh-- is still going on with that team though.  Coach also got moved around every season.  Sometimes getting a new coach is good... sometimes it's not.  So there was NO consistency.  Didn't feel like they built teams.  Soccer is a team sport.  It is fun for the kids to be part of a "team" with some consistency.


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## Bananacorner (Nov 3, 2017)

TangoCity said:


> It was with a larger club (Girls) that is now part of the DA program.  Some of the pitfalls were ... the club and coach treated second/third teams differently.  They practiced on worse fields, the coach (who had three teams) would miss games of his lower level teams if there were conflicts.  Coach probably made 5 out of 12 league games during season.  The B team was constantly losing players (club passed to A team) every week to help the struggling "A" team do better.  Sometimes even permanently moving players from B to A team during middle of the season.  It maybe opened some playing time up for "one or two" player(s) but it made the team weaker and the kids wanted to win so they could get promoted to a higher level next year.  But then the next season the rosters got moved around and you pretty much had to start over again with your team the next season.  We left.  Same sh-- is still going on with that team though.  Coach also got moved around every season.  Sometimes getting a new coach is good... sometimes it's not.  So there was NO consistency.  Didn't feel like they built teams.  Soccer is a team sport.  It is fun for the kids to be part of a "team" with some consistency.


This is all very common, seen it again and again.  Second teams at larger clubs are often parasitically used by the club to their purposes, whatever they may be.  They get leftover fields, leftover coaches, and team is used for "developing grounds" for younger, less experienced players.  No concern about the second team players' overall experience or development.  This isn't always the case, but it certainly is frequent.  Much better experiences often can be had at a club whose first teams may be on same level as larger club second team, but they are "first" and/or "first and only" so they get the resources.


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## Goforgoal (Nov 3, 2017)

Wow. More responses to my question than I expected. Thanks for that.


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## coachrefparent (Nov 3, 2017)

Bananacorner said:


> This is all very common, seen it again and again.  Second teams at larger clubs are often parasitically used by the club to their purposes, whatever they may be.  They get leftover fields, leftover coaches, and team is used for "developing grounds" for younger, less experienced players.  No concern about the second team players' overall experience or development.  This isn't always the case, but it certainly is frequent.  Much better experiences often can be had at a club whose first teams may be on same level as larger club second team, but they are "first" and/or "first and only" so they get the resources.


"Parasitically" is a bit loaded, in the same club. Lower teams do get benefits of the club as well.  I've been on both sides of this as both a coach and a parent. What do you propose? Not advance deserving players to the higher team? Leave non-performing players on the higher team?  Its not as easy as it sounds. Teams have to fit in the competitive slots that they belong. 

 I think fields should be more equitably distributed, but also recognize that higher teams will always get some of the better allocations (ie. rec vs. competitive a club).


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## hydraulic42 (Nov 3, 2017)

Goforgoal said:


> Wow. More responses to my question than I expected. Thanks for that.


You seem to be taking a calm, measured approach to this dilemma, and that probably engenders better, calmer, more thoughtful replies 

I think your awareness of the situation, and especially your transparency with your son's current coach, are right on the money. It's youth soccer - no point in burning bridges if you don't need to, especially for such a young player. If he sticks with it, at the older ages, high-level competitive youth soccer is a pretty small world, and it's better to have more clubs and coaches on his side than against. 

My DD moved from a steadily improving flight 1 SCDSL team with a very good coach to the DA this season. We kept her old coach in the loop the entire time about trying out. My daughter knew immediately that this DA team was a good fit for her. I was much more hesitant than she was, because I really didn't want to be an overly ambitious and possibly delusional soccer parent, and because the old club had so far treated her very well. After getting some sage advice to "follow your daughter's lead," we made the change. And after a couple months of my DD literally thanking me during the car ride home after practice for letting her change teams, I finally stopped worrying about the decision.


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## mirage (Nov 6, 2017)

soccerchauffer33 said:


> I am a new parent to club soccer. My son is a 09 player for a smaller club.....
> 
> I dont want to screw up a good thing. just looking for opinions of more seasoned parents.


My older son started club at U10 (was playing Signature at U9 - semi competitive rec league).  It was our first experience at club soccer then.  Now that kid is playing in college but our younger is still playing U16 so its good.

Back then, I had a coach and a parent both tell me, at the different times, that essentially said "there's no loyalty in club soccer".  At the time, I had no idea how right they were.  For me, it just sounded bit cold and harsh but kept an open eyes and mind as the years passed by.

The single most important thing in club soccer is that you need to accept and deal with the fact that club soccer is a business first.  No club or coach (although I've met few near exceptions) that takes real interest in your kid the way you do, soccer wise.  You'll need to manage his progression and where he needs to be at when.  The list below is what I've done over the years and have shared these points herein time to time but again:

1) Make sure your kid is playing at the level of competition just lightly higher than his ability when younger

2) Make sure your kid is in the top half of the team's players pecking order to ensure playing time, not the bottom half of higher competitive team

3) Don't stay on the team just because there are friends, if the level is not appropriate

4) Your job is to make bridges and open doors for the kid - the kid has to walk a cross and through the door (in other words, he's got to want to do it and improve)

5) And don't be that parent that embarrasses his kid on the sideline and stay out of club/team politics

6) Keep reminding yourself that its a youth sports business.

At the end of the day, you only guide him and the rest is up to him.  Don't get caught up on its only Tier 3 or he's on top tier stuff - See number 1 and 2.

Our older kid started in Bronze, then Silver. then Gold/Flight 1, then DA, back to Flight 1 (wanted to play HS), to Primer back to DA to college.  Our younger kid, who still is playing is now on Flight 1 team at U16.  He started Bronze, Flight 3, Flight 2 and Flight 1.  Never cared what level he was playing league wise.  Just wanted him to play and not sit on the bench.  I'm certain if I'd put him onto Flight 1 team early on, he would have just sat most of the games and would not be playing today.

So the moral of the story is that, its a business and no one is going guild your kid, except you but keep it real and fun for the kid.  Its up to him more than you.


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## 46n2 (Nov 7, 2017)

mirage said:


> My older son started club at U10 (was playing Signature at U9 - semi competitive rec league).  It was our first experience at club soccer then.  Now that kid is playing in college but our younger is still playing U16 so its good.
> 
> Back then, I had a coach and a parent both tell me, at the different times, that essentially said "there's no loyalty in club soccer".  At the time, I had no idea how right they were.  For me, it just sounded bit cold and harsh but kept an open eyes and mind as the years passed by.
> 
> ...


well written and very good points....


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## Surf Zombie (Nov 10, 2017)

I think this is an excellent post, but will disagree with this one sentiment

2) Make sure your kid is in the top half of the team's players pecking order to ensure playing time, not the bottom half of higher competitive team

My 2007 daughter switched clubs last year after being at her first smaller club at age 7 & 8. She tried out for and made the top team at the top club in our area. We live in New England and her team is one of the top five teams in Region one. When she got her spot last year she was 11th or 12th on a 13 player roster and did not play a ton. She worked her tail off and 18 months after joining the team she is getting 40 minutes a game. I am honestly shocked at how much better she has gotten in such a short window of time. Coaching and her work ethic are the primary reasons, but playing with kids who were more advanced than her is also a big part of it.  I doubt she would have improved as much as she has playing on a roster where she was better than half the kids.


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## mirage (Nov 10, 2017)

Surf Zombie said:


> I think this is an excellent post, but will disagree with this one sentiment.....
> 
> My 2007 daughter switched clubs last year after being at her first smaller club at age 7 & 8. She tried out for and made the top team at the top club in our area. We live in New England and her team is one of the top five teams in Region one................. doubt she would have improved as much as she has playing on a roster where she was better than half the kids.


With all due respect, the player pool size and number of teams in NE is significantly smaller than in SoCal and how often they play.  Having spent fair amount of time in Cambridge/Boston, and NY, I have a pretty good sense of lifestyle in NE.

When kids (boys and girls) are U-Little, like 2007 9~10yrs old, physical and mental development of a year is a significant percent of their entire life, so things are difficult to generalize - both your statement and mine.  The point of my statement (2) is that you have to balance competitive pressure and young player psychology and it differs from a player to player.  

Sounds like  you did the right thing for YOU, by moving her into a more competitive team.  The difference in SoCal is that there are layers of various levels of difference and number of teams available as well as number of players between your two choices.  So one has to make appropriate audible or an adjustments.  

Having said that, see where things are when the kid is at U12~13+ and how you'd feel then....


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## etc1217 (Nov 10, 2017)

In my experience with my DD, she started Flight 3 at U11 and worked up to now playing Flight 1 at U17. She went through all the trials of soccer of being a starter in the lower Flights and then getting her ass handed to her in her first year in Flight 1. She worked hard after that and now is a starter/captain for her current team.

Bottom line is find the right fit for your player and playing time is key because sitting on the bench doesn't develop your player.  Also be honest as a parent to really know what level your player should play. Don't get caught up with the Flights but be more concern with play time. Also find a coach your player will respond to because there are coaches out there that use/abuse players. So make sure your player has a good relationship with his coach.  In my DD's experience, she gave it her all when she liked the coach and who gave positive reinforcement oppose to the coach who was always negative and berated her.

Find a good fit for your player, just don't follow the club/team because it is the top one in the area.


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## chargerfan (Nov 10, 2017)

etc1217 said:


> In my experience with my DD, she started Flight 3 at U11 and worked up to now playing Flight 1 at U17. She went through all the trials of soccer of being a starter in the lower Flights and then getting her ass handed to her in her first year in Flight 1. She worked hard after that and now is a starter/captain for her current team.
> 
> Bottom line is find the right fit for your player and playing time is key because sitting on the bench doesn't develop your player.  Also be honest as a parent to really know what level your player should play. Don't get caught up with the Flights but be more concern with play time. Also find a coach your player will respond to because there are coaches out there that use/abuse players. So make sure your player has a good relationship with his coach.  In my DD's experience, she gave it her all when she liked the coach and who gave positive reinforcement oppose to the coach who was always negative and berated her.
> 
> Find a good fit for your player, just don't follow the club/team because it is the top one in the area.


What a great accomplishment for her. I like this story.


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