# Coach working in God mode?



## Gee (May 8, 2018)

My story about Coach Javier Torres Beach FC South Bay Flight 2 2007 girls team..

If 6 or more players parents have the same complaints about a coach being lazy, showing up late for games and tournaments, not talking to parents and his team and a list of other things that point to bad coaching and because of this the entire team left to go to other clubs what should be punishment for this coach??

As of now I personally spoke with the president Steve Grace of this club and the president of this club told me 5 other parents have voiced issues with this coach this season and as a result all have left this club.  That’s half the kids and parents on the team gone. We had one parent quit just before state cup as they were already beyond tired of the bullshit. The president did apologize for the coaches bad behavior and said that he wishes I would of let him know 6 months ago...

This coach is still working at Beach FC South Bay and now he coaches a new Flight 1 2007 Girls team and I believe he coaches 2 or more girls teams. 

So it’s ok for this type of bad behavior poor attitude as coach to go on and as kids and parents we are just supposed to move on and this coach keeps his job and nothing happens he’s operating in God Mode?

What really strikes me funny is the fact that our Flight 2 team was second place for our league season only losing to a strong Flight 2 team that came down from Flight 1 from the year before and although the tournaments we did not win any we did at least win one game at every tournament and we played around 45 games total including scrimmages I felt entire team played very well chemistry was starting to happen and moving entire team to Flight 1 and training hard for the next season I thought would of been the best choice for the club and team.

With all that said political agendas over ruled the bright future for this team unfortunately.. as some parents would like to say that’s just par for the course..


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## coachsamy (May 8, 2018)

First Tudela and now Beach FC??? Maybe they are not the problem, you are. 

Go get some therapy!


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## Gee (May 8, 2018)

coachsamy said:


> First Tudela and now Beach FC??? Maybe they are not the problem, you are.
> 
> Go get some therapy!


Nah these clubs are all about business (your money) and politics do your homework my friend I’ve done mine just wish I would’ve learned about this bullshit sooner.


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## Chalklines (May 8, 2018)

Am I missing the part where you guys actually sat down with the coach to deal with the situation head on?


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## Gee (May 8, 2018)

Chalklines said:


> Am I missing the part where you guys actually sat down with the coach to deal with the situation head on?


The coach avoided any talk with parents and stayed non-vocal and rarely responded to any email. I am close friends with the team manager and many parents from this team that are no longer there. Only 4 players stayed on and only 2 players from his Flight 2 team stayed there playing on his Flight 1 team. That speaks for itself.


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## coachsamy (May 8, 2018)

Gee said:


> Nah these clubs are all about business (your money) and politics do your homework my friend I’ve done mine just wish I would’ve learned about this bullshit sooner.


Are you just figuring this out???


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## Gee (May 8, 2018)

coachsamy said:


> Are you just figuring this out???


I’ve done figured it out and now I’m posting this bullshit out to the public so people know what’s really going on.


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## mirage (May 8, 2018)

Gee said:


> ..........If 6 or more players parents have the same complaints about a coach being lazy, showing up late for games and tournaments, not talking to parents and his team and a list of other things that point to bad coaching and because of this the entire team left to go to other clubs what should be punishment for this coach??.......


Since you didn't say anything about actual coaching of soccer, I assume your are making the statement based on his interactions with parents and you're expectation of the position.  We don't have anything to assess how good or bad the coaching is.

While its not all that uncommon for coaches not communicating with parents, at this young age, I would expect more interaction than not.  As for being late, its hard to generalize because we have no knowledge of his other team commitments or day-job conflicts.  Yes coaches do have day jobs and soccer thing is just a part time income.

As for being lazy, its your subjective assessment and there are no examples to indicate that is the case based on your writings.  Just being late or not taking to parents do not make him lazy.  It may be something else but not lazy.

Last, why do you seek retribution against the coach?  If he is as bad as you say, the club will fire him one day.  If he has in with the club and is bad as you say, it will hurt the club ultimately.  Either way, you, sounds like, have moved on and it simply is not worth the effort to bad mouth the coach or the club.

If you are trying to warn others of your bad experience (btw, sorry to hear), then perhaps you consider a different tone and words to describe the situation.

I have no knowledge of this coach, club or your particular situation but since this is a public forum, just read the subject headline and just wondered how a coach worked in God mode...  I was actually thinking more like miracle worker based on the title.....


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## Mystery Train (May 8, 2018)

The common denominator in all your failed relationships is you.  

But hey man, I do feel your pain.  We've seen lying, unethical, bad coaches keep jobs and good coaches get pushed out at clubs all over the place.  All I can say is that you never know half of what is going on behind the scenes.   But since you are in charge of guiding your child through the process of finding coaches/teams/clubs, you have to be better at evaluating people.  Learn how to spot the bad communicators, people who are lazy, people who are dishonest.  The key is not in what they say, it's how they say it.  It's in their eyes when you walk up to say hello.  It's how they talk to and treat other people around them.  You can see it in how they handle the kids if you watch a few practices.  It sucks now, but you'll be better in the long run to take these experiences as lessons learned.  And so will your kid.  It's a part of life, not just club soccer.

And I would also say that although my kid has been screwed over by a club and a coach before, I dealt with it behind closed doors.  I approached the coach to clear the air privately.  When that didn't work, I went to the DoC and had a meeting with both.  I never went to the other parents on the team to complain or air my dirty laundry or gossip.  We eventually left the club, but I don't go on public forums and trash them by name.  Even today if someone asks me about that club or that coach, I'll tell them that our experience ended badly, but I also tell them that I know others who had a great experience with both club and coach.  Maybe I was part of the problem.  Maybe it was my kid.  I don't know, but once I realized I didn't trust the people in charge, I left and found people who were a better fit for me and my child.  End of story.  

Stay classy, because you never know when you may cross paths with these people again.  It's a small world.


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## timbuck (May 8, 2018)

I think Vince Neil of Motely Crue said it best "Don't Go Away Mad, Just Go Away"





So the team played 45 games in a year.  I assume this coach was at most of these games.  I'm guessing that's between 25 and 30 weekends (Saturday or Sunday.  Or both).

Showing up late for games -  If a coach has more than 1 team, there is a pretty good chance there will be some overlap once in a while.  What's important is that there is someone to get the girls warmed up and ready to play.   How late was he for the actual start of the game?

Showing up late for practices -  How late?  A few minutes?  45 minutes?  If 10 minutes or more, was there someone there to fill in?  Did the players get started with another team on the club until the coach arrived?

Is he a screaming jerk of a coach who makes kids cry?  Does he know the game? Does he know how to work with this age group?  Do the players enjoy coming to practice and playing in games?

Let me get this right-  You and 5 other players left the club.  Hopefully you found something better.  But you also want the coach to be fired?  Dude is probably making $12k for coaching this team.


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## focomoso (May 8, 2018)

Gee said:


> ...what should be punishment for this coach??


What does his punishment have to do with you? You've moved on, so move on. It's up to the club to decide what to do with the him. Maybe they like him... Maybe he's the best they can find for what he costs...

What possible good can worrying about this do for your kid?


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## coachsamy (May 8, 2018)

Gee said:


> I’ve done figured it out and now I’m posting this bullshit out to the public so people know what’s really going on.


Thanks for letting us know that you can't play nicely with others and that you can't sip onto the Kool Aid!


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## Gee (May 8, 2018)

I prefer people should be aware and learn from other people’s mistakes. The smart people will learn from the wise it’s called wisdom if everyone just turns their cheek and says nothing about this or that coach nothing is said and coach continues to behave the same way. 

It seems like many of us tolerate this garbage and have developed some thick skin but why in the world should we tolerate this crap there is no excuse and we just let it continue same reason why half the United Stares hates Trump but he’s still in office.

And today I felt I should bill blass that ass because the coach and club deserve a bad report sorry I’m not holding my tongue!!


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## JoeBieber (May 8, 2018)

Toxic parents are the main problem in youth soccer.


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## jrcaesar (May 8, 2018)

Gee said:


> What really strikes me funny is the fact that our Flight 2 team was second place for our league season only losing to a strong Flight 2 team that came down from Flight 1 from the year before and although the tournaments we did not win any we did at least win one game at every tournament and we played around 45 games total including scrimmages I felt entire team played very well chemistry was starting to happen and moving entire team to Flight 1 and training hard for the next season I thought would of been the best choice for the club and team.


At some clubs, Flight 2 teams are just that: Flight 2 teams. It's why SCDSL was created. What's most likely best for Beach is to build a Flight 1 team of 12-year-olds from scratch, or to inherit one (add a coach) and move a couple kids from that Flight 2 team onto it. Then they still have a Flight 2 team to offer parents.


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## push_up (May 8, 2018)

Unlike these douchbags posting negatively I appreciate your candor and willingness to share your opinion.  The soccer community will benefit from your experience.  Don't let the negative posters get into your head by parsing your words.  You and the other parents might consider finding this coach and beating the shit out of him.  I think you would feel better.


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## Kicker4Life (May 8, 2018)

Gee said:


> The coach avoided any talk with parents and stayed non-vocal and rarely responded to any email. I am close friends with the team manager and many parents from this team that are no longer there. Only 4 players stayed on and only 2 players from his Flight 2 team stayed there playing on his Flight 1 team. That speaks for itself.


So again...you didn’t have an open discussion with the Coach because he “avoided you”, was he not at games or practices?  Did you contact the SouthBay Director to ask if a parent Coach meeting could be arranged because your Coach was openly “avoiding you”?  Did you reach out to the DOC?  Trust me SG is one of the best, but he won’t get involved in Coaching matters that’s not his job.  But he always listens and will do more than he should. 

This is me, sharing my learned experience dealing with a similar situation.  There is always a way to get that meeting if you really wanted it.  Now your message gets lost in the sour grapes and that’s a shame.


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## LASTMAN14 (May 8, 2018)

Kicker4Life said:


> So again...you didn’t have an open discussion with the Coach because he “avoided you”, was he not at games or practices?  Did you contact the SouthBay Director to ask if a parent Coach meeting could be arranged because your Coach was openly “avoiding you”?  Did you reach out to the DOC?  Trust me SG is one of the best, but he won’t get involved in Coaching matters that’s not his job.  But he always listens and will do more than he should.
> 
> This is me, sharing my learned experience dealing with a similar situation.  There is always a way to get that meeting if you really wanted it.  Now your message gets lost in the sour grapes and that’s a shame.


Oh gee, sour grapes are not good for making w(h)ine...or are they?


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## LASTMAN14 (May 8, 2018)

Kicker4Life said:


> So again...you didn’t have an open discussion with the Coach because he “avoided you”, was he not at games or practices?  Did you contact the SouthBay Director to ask if a parent Coach meeting could be arranged because your Coach was openly “avoiding you”?  Did you reach out to the DOC?  Trust me SG is one of the best, but he won’t get involved in Coaching matters that’s not his job.  But he always listens and will do more than he should.
> 
> This is me, sharing my learned experience dealing with a similar situation.  There is always a way to get that meeting if you really wanted it.  Now your message gets lost in the sour grapes and that’s a shame.


SG is a great individual. Very committed.


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## Grace T. (May 8, 2018)

JoeBieber said:


> Toxic parents are the main problem in youth soccer.


There are lot's of problems with youth soccer including, without limitation:

-Toxic parents
-Parents obsessed with chasing the win
-Parents obsessed with developing their kids at the expense of the team (meekly raises hand)
-Parents who try to buy their way through club
-Parents who don't give a darn
-Coaches more concerned with their livelihood than the kids
-Toxic coaches
-Coaches with old information or who don't know how to coach
-DOCs more concerned with their livelihood than the kids or coaches
-Toxic DOCs
-Clubs, which while supposedly non-profit, put their growth ahead of the kids.
-Referees that don't know how to ref
-Referees more concerned with the cash than the kids
-Colleges that fuel the current system by making it all about admits and scholarships
-The US Soccer Federation that is obsessed with developing the men's national team
-Local orgs like CalSouth obssessed with amassing training fees and selling their planning tools
-An MLS resistant to change
-A culture which places winning in front of the development of kids
-A culture in which soccer, at least on the men's side, isn't a priority sport
-A system where we don't have a lot of good volunteer coaches because most people didn't grow up with the sport

Lot's of unclean hands to go around.  And no, I'm not saying every parent/ref/DOC/coach is lousy.  

And while it makes my top 10, I'm not even sure toxic parents make my top 3 for what's wrong with this system.  

Yeah, I'm seriously off the kool-aid and in a post-kool-aid sugar crash.


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## coachsamy (May 8, 2018)

Gee said:


> I prefer people should be aware and learn from other people’s mistakes. The smart people will learn from the wise it’s called wisdom if everyone just turns their cheek and says nothing about this or that coach nothing is said and coach continues to behave the same way.
> 
> It seems like many of us tolerate this garbage and have developed some thick skin but why in the world should we tolerate this crap there is no excuse and we just let it continue same reason why half the United Stares hates Trump but he’s still in office.
> 
> And today I felt I should bill blass that ass because the coach and club deserve a bad report sorry I’m not holding my tongue!!


Once again speaking for the masses. You got your kid kicked out of Tudela, then in a few months after nobody will take your kid because of you, Beach takes the risk to bring you along and now you are bashing Beach FC because you got booted again?

Where do you get that half of the US hates President Trump?


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## LASTMAN14 (May 8, 2018)

Where do you get that half of the US hates President Trump?[/QUOTE]

TMZ! Where else!


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## Chalklines (May 8, 2018)

Can we generalize exactly what a toxic parent is? 

To be fair the real bad ones don't surface until 6 months into a season when their kids getting out played and benched. You really need to have a set of balls to ask new parents when shopping for a club on who to stay away from.


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## coachsamy (May 8, 2018)

Chalklines said:


> Can we generalize exactly what a toxic parent is?


Gee / Control Freak


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## Gee (May 8, 2018)

coachsamy said:


> Gee / Control Freak


You guys got jokes! Anyhow we never got kicked off of  You-smella I already told you Tudela wasn’t man enough to speak to me over the phone so we decided to decline on there very strange offer to join their club. And B ache FC is past experience I’m being kind enough to share with non- toxic and toxic parents! LOL..


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## Kopi (May 8, 2018)

LASTMAN14 said:


> Where do you get that half of the US hates President Trump?


TMZ! Where else! [/QUOTE]
Or CNN!


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## LASTMAN14 (May 8, 2018)

Kopi said:


> TMZ! Where else!


Or CNN![/QUOTE]
Absolutely! Wolf Blitzer is one of the most credible news anchors out there!


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## focomoso (May 8, 2018)

Grace T. said:


> There are lot's of problems with youth soccer including...
> 
> -Parents obsessed with developing their kids at the expense of the team (meekly raises hand)


I agree with your entire list except this one (and perhaps coaches worrying about their livelihood: they don't get paid much and work very hard and have to make a living...) 

It's when coaches put their team ahead of development that I see a problem.


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## Texas2Cali (May 8, 2018)

Obviously this is not the way many parents would approach a similar situation with a coach that disappointed. However, there does seem to be a certain amount of unwillingness to openly discuss the "generally accepted as bad" coaches out there. I bet we all could point to a coach or 2 that seems to have his/her whole team leave every season, only to pick up new teams in new age groups, or move from girls to boys then back, or head to a new club to start the process all over again. It seems like DOCs protect these perpetrators, perhaps because of long time friendships or whatever.  Sure word gets around eventually, but even non-toxic parents don't really discuss it openly because it's a small world and there is fear of being labeled as a troublesome parent. I would love to see more discussions of coaches to avoid with the rationale provided.


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## Sheriff Joe (May 8, 2018)

Kopi said:


> TMZ! Where else!


Or CNN![/QUOTE]
ABC,NBC,CBS.................


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## JoeBieber (May 8, 2018)

There's at least one toxic parent on every team, it seems like. 

Talking crap about other players
Doesn't like the coach's substitutions
Bitches nonstop about playtime
Wants weekly reviews of player progress
Thinks that his problems will be magically solved by blowing up his team/club on the forums

If you have that much of a problem with a coach or a club, LEAVE. There are plenty of other options out there.


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## uscdan (May 8, 2018)

Sheriff Joe said:


> Or CNN!


ABC,NBC,CBS.................[/QUOTE]

speaking of common denominators...


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## Chalklines (May 8, 2018)

JoeBieber said:


> There's at least one toxic parent on every team, it seems like.
> 
> Talking crap about other players
> Doesn't like the coach's substitutions
> ...


But 9 times out of 10 that parents player isn't good enough to make another team so they intentionally try to sink the ship for a reshuffling of the deck the following season. 

Bigger programs have no problem getting these problematic parents out the door but it's the smaller programs that need the numbers who suffer.


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## Gee (May 8, 2018)

Kopi said:


> TMZ! Where else!


Or CNN![/QUOTE]


Chalklines said:


> But 9 times out of 10 that parents player isn't good enough to make another team so they intentionally try to sink the ship for a reshuffling of the deck the following season.
> 
> Bigger programs have no problem getting these problematic parents out the door but it's the smaller programs that need the numbers who suffer.



Has anyone thought perhaps these parents are toxic for legit reasons ? 

For shits and giggles I think I will create some toxic parent and non-toxic parent T-Shirts and pass them out so we know whose who at the next game! 

Cheers!

Yours truly
Gee


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## Gee (May 8, 2018)

Texas2Cali said:


> Obviously this is not the way many parents would approach a similar situation with a coach that disappointed. However, there does seem to be a certain amount of unwillingness to openly discuss the "generally accepted as bad" coaches out there. I bet we all could point to a coach or 2 that seems to have his/her whole team leave every season, only to pick up new teams in new age groups, or move from girls to boys then back, or head to a new club to start the process all over again. It seems like DOCs protect these perpetrators, perhaps because of long time friendships or whatever.  Sure word gets around eventually, but even non-toxic parents don't really discuss it openly because it's a small world and there is fear of being labeled as a troublesome parent. I would love to see more discussions of coaches to avoid with the rationale provided.


Exactly I second that.


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## soccerislife (May 8, 2018)

beach is not a ethical club.  they just hired our old coach who was fired from cda slammers.  coach was known to go to vegas and could not control himself.  beach knew this and still hired him.


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## Gee (May 8, 2018)

jrcaesar said:


> At some clubs, Flight 2 teams are just that: Flight 2 teams. It's why SCDSL was created. What's most likely best for Beach is to build a Flight 1 team of 12-year-olds from scratch, or to inherit one (add a coach) and move a couple kids from that Flight 2 team onto it. Then they still have a Flight 2 team to offer parents.


Well they offered Flight 1 with this guy but obviously there’s no way we were going that route!


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## toucan (May 8, 2018)

Gee said:


> Well they offered Flight 1 with this guy but obviously there’s no way we were going that route!


Help us out, Gee.  Where is your daughter playing now?  It's great to know who to avoid, but who actually meets your standards?


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## Chalklines (May 8, 2018)

No legitimate reasoning.

We have been conditioned over the years to complain and you get your way. Why earn it or work for it now when you can be handed it


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## Gee (May 8, 2018)

soccerislife said:


> beach is not a ethical club.  they just hired our old coach who was fired from cda slammers.  coach was known to go to vegas and could not control himself.  beach knew this and still hired him.


Wow!! Creepy! Perhaps this dude can replace coach Javier ..


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## Gee (May 8, 2018)

toucan said:


> Help us out, Gee.  Where is your daughter playing now?  It's great to know who to avoid, but help us by advising as to who actually meets your standards?


Toxic Parents Untied up by Fuck You Road in Cala-Kiss-My-Ass-Bitch!


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## 46n2 (May 8, 2018)

Id hate to be on the same team as Gee.


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## timbuck (May 8, 2018)

soccerislife said:


> beach is not a ethical club.  they just hired our old coach who was fired from cda slammers.  coach was known to go to vegas and could not control himself.  beach knew this and still hired him.


Vegas for soccer coaching?
Or Vegas on his own?


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## dawson (May 8, 2018)

Gee said:


> My story about Coach Javier Torres Beach FC South Bay Flight 2 2007 girls team..
> 
> If 6 or more players parents have the same complaints about a coach being *lazy,* showing up late for games and tournaments, not talking to parents and his team


Your 07 team entered :

May - Legends 
June - nike
July - Anaheim surf
Aug - West Coast
Sept - Irvine Cup
Sept , Oct , Nov -  SCDSL League
Dec - Orange County
Jan - Anaheim Cup 
Feb - State Cup

Playing in 8 tournaments and league for an 07 flight 2 team *does not* seem to indicate a *lazy coach ,* especially when you consider *the coach* determines *how many* tournaments the team will enter and does not get *paid anything extra* for playing *more* tournaments. Ironically , some might make the case this coach entered *too many* tournaments . Regardless , on the surface it seems *this coach* had the *best interest* of the team at heart to spend that amount of time with them. As far as his coaching style and communication skills go , I have no personal knowledge . 

*Many coaches* spend a lot of time with a fair amount of stress coaching youth teams because they *love soccer* and helping kids have *fun and improve* and at the same time do it to supplement their income or is their main income. To criticize and name a  coach on this or any forum which *may *unfairly damage his or her *reputation and livelihood*  should only be done when the allegations are *serious and clear* . It should not be based on rumors or personnel vendettas such as for example playing time ,  coaching tactics ,  personality conflicts , etc. 

I am not naive and know their are coaches who I would not want my kids playing for. And if I found myself in this situation I would try to work it out with the coach  and/or  leave the team at the first opportunity. Many folks have pointed out on this forum that the best way to avoid this situation is to *observe some practices and watch a few games* before joining a new team . You can learn a lot about a coach watching from the sidelines ( coaching style , tactics , subbing patterns , are there 6 subs on the bench that a few don't seem to be playing little if any  ) . If you really believe getting the right coach is important to you and your kid you will invest the time necessary to pick a new team and a good coach .  ( Right or wrong just my opinion )
*
Full disclosure* : I have never heard of this coach or know anything about the team other then is what is posted on youth soccer rankings and what has been posted on this string.


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## soccer_soccer (May 8, 2018)

Gee said:


> My story about Coach Javier Torres Beach FC South Bay Flight 2 2007 girls team..
> 
> If 6 or more players parents have the same complaints about a coach being lazy, showing up late for games and tournaments, not talking to parents and his team and a list of other things that point to bad coaching and because of this the entire team left to go to other clubs what should be punishment for this coach??
> 
> ...


Looking over your posts under "control freak" and your current, it seems like you like to bash every coach, every club you are at...and even under ODP 2007 you seem to bash the three girls that were chosen I am assuming at Beach.   Maybe you should re-analyze truly why you are upset ... maybe you are assuming your daughter is better than she really is...  most parents are delusional you know.


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## Gee (May 8, 2018)

dawson said:


> Your 07 team entered :
> 
> May - Legends
> June - nike
> ...





dawson said:


> Your 07 team entered :
> 
> May - Legends
> June - nike
> ...


There’s no doubt we played a lot of tournaments and as I mentioned 45 games in total and he was many times over booked with tournaments and coaching other girl teams but the players should not suffer and experience lazy and tired behavior from a coach. This lazy tired behavior is not motivating and as a result your players will play in the way you are received. I don’t care what the excuse is and the fact that Beach FC over booked this guy too bad don’t take on more coaching work than you can handle because you need the money. Many parents and kids were not happy seeing the Coach late for a tournament on his cell phone ignoring the kids and asking parents to play as coach and he was on his way.  Many other issues that many kids and parents had with him throughout the year that the director and president are aware of because parents called in on him.  I would rather had my kid play less with a energetic coach!


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## soccer_soccer (May 8, 2018)

Gee said:


> Nah these clubs are all about business (your money) and politics do your homework my friend I’ve done mine just wish I would’ve learned about this bullshit sooner.


yes there are many politics to this club soccer game and you are doing a very poor job playing it by bashing clubs, coaches, presidents, kids....   i think many people know who you are and you are setting your daughter up for complete failure based on your poor judgement.  what a shame.


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## SoccerFrenzy (May 8, 2018)

Soccer is a small community. Don't burn bridges for your daughter. Not a good look at all


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## El Clasico (May 8, 2018)

dawson said:


> Your 07 team entered :
> 
> May - Legends
> June - nike
> ...


You sure did do a lot of research and spent a fair amount of time defending the system for someone with noting vested.  Are you affiliated with the club or coaching someplace else and offended that someone would call a coach an a**hole?  Personally, I am enjoying the back and forth. There are some good coaches out there, some really great coaches out there and a whole lot of them that are real pieces of sh*t. Pretending otherwise suggests you have an agenda.


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## Chalklines (May 8, 2018)

SoccerFrenzy said:


> Soccer is a small community. Don't burn bridges for your daughter. Not a good look at all


I agree 100% with this.


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## dawson (May 8, 2018)

El Clasico said:


> You sure did do a lot of research and spent a fair amount of time defending the system for someone with noting vested.  Are you affiliated with the club or coaching someplace else and offended that someone would call a coach an a**hole?  Personally, I am enjoying the back and forth. There are some good coaches out there, some really great coaches out there and a whole lot of them that are real pieces of sh*t. Pretending otherwise suggests you have an agenda.


My disclosure is based on fact .
For this coach I only addressed the issue of ( he is a lazy coach) . The facts seem to indicate that was likely not true.
I did not address his communication skills or other comments because I do not know the coach  .
The research is all based on youth soccer rankings and is readily available for any team . Actually calling it research is a stretch . 
I mentioned I am not naive and there are coaches who would not be acceptable to me.
The so called defense of coaches was just my general opinion and was not directed at this coach since I don't know him.
I tend to dislike calling out coaches or anybody by name from an anonymous source based on generalities that may or may not be true. 
Whether these particular allegations are true or not or are serious enough to be mentioned by name I don't know .
But there have been some anonymous posters on this forum over the years who sometimes throw around allegations pretty freely.
And yes , many times like you I enjoy the back and forth but today I just felt like giving my opinion. 
My opinion of what people should actually do , who are really concerned with getting a coach they will like ,  was based on many other posts on this forum and makes sense to me.

The defense rests.


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## soccerislife (May 8, 2018)

SoccerFrenzy said:


> Soccer is a small community. Don't burn bridges for your daughter. Not a good look at all


see that is part of the problem.  people get bashed for calling out bad behavior.  so he's had 2 bad experience.  he should be allowed to voice them on a forum so that other don't make the same mistakes.  coaches should be called out for bad stuff with out be questioned about his own intentions.  this is how things get out of control.  this is why us soccer is so bad.  parent are so afraid of calling out coaches.  coaches should not be going to strip clubs while traveling with there team bottom line they should also remember who is paying them.


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## MyDaughtersAKeeper (May 8, 2018)

Sometimes we see our kids get hurt, and we want to stop the pain and hurt those that harmed our kids.  Sometimes a little distance allows a better understanding of why everything went down the way it did.  A year ago I would have sworn that my kids old DOC was the devil incarnate; I understand a little more know why things unfolded like they did and my kid is the better for going through it.  Most coaches and DOCs care about the kids. Most.

None of them understand goalies, but that’s a topic for another forum.  Good luck to you and your kid.  I hope you find the right fit.


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## zebrafish (May 8, 2018)

Gee said:


> There’s no doubt we played a lot of tournaments and as I mentioned 45 games in total and he was many times over booked with tournaments and coaching other girl teams but the players should not suffer and experience lazy and tired behavior from a coach. This lazy tired behavior is not motivating and as a result your players will play in the way you are received. I don’t care what the excuse is and the fact that Beach FC over booked this guy too bad don’t take on more coaching work than you can handle because you need the money. Many parents and kids were not happy seeing the Coach late for a tournament on his cell phone ignoring the kids and asking parents to play as coach and he was on his way.  Many other issues that many kids and parents had with him throughout the year that the director and president are aware of because parents called in on him.  I would rather had my kid play less with a energetic coach!


Don't know specifics of situation. However, I can comment that many coaches at various clubs may be coaching 2, 3, 4+ teams and have other responsibilities (covering other coaches' games, etc.). They may miss or be late to games. They have lives, spouses, other jobs, kids, too.

Sounds like your team entered a lot of tournaments. This doesn't seem like a "lazy" coach from this metric.

Some coaches are "high energy/intensity" some are "low energy/intensity". I've seen many coaches-- and I understand this-- who feel that they can't make a bunch of unmotivated players be motivated. There are also many parents who throw a fit when their kid isn't a superstar on the field and blame the coach when the real problem is that their kid just isn't that into soccer (skill, motivation, athleticism, etc). I've seen teams where I think half the players don't want to be playing soccer. Their parents just haven't figured it out yet.

Do your homework. Understand the coach, their philosophy, and how that meshes with your kid before you sign up with a team. 

Even if you find the "right" coach, you may end up with a team with multiple "dud" players for a whole host of reasons. It has happened to my kid. 

I've seen many more toxic parents than I've seen toxic coaches. 

Maybe you've had two bad coaches, but.... leaving two teams on bad terms, going on a message board and blasting a coach and swearing at strangers who question you doesn't seem like optimal parent behavior. Understand that a toxic parent can ruin the environment for your kid, the team, the coach and the other parents. There are good and dysfunctional ways to deal with problems.

Mic drop.


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## SoccerFan4Life (May 8, 2018)

Gee, 45 games 8 tournaments is not being lazy. It's being very committed to getting the kids to play.   

Being late is part of having several teams and maybe he has a regular job or coaches at a high school. 

You calling out his name is "Horrible behavior".  If this coach is abusing kids then you are doing the rest of the soccer community a favor.   

To me it seems like you are just bitter bitter and willing to ruin this coach's reputation.  

As you can see from this soccer community we mostly all see that you are the one that is on the wrong side of this post.


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## RedCard (May 8, 2018)

SoccerFrenzy said:


> Soccer is a small community. Don't burn bridges for your daughter. Not a good look at all


Too late...........................


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## Lurker (May 8, 2018)

Gee said:


> I prefer people should be aware and learn from other people’s mistakes. The smart people will learn from the wise it’s called wisdom if everyone just turns their cheek and says nothing about this or that coach nothing is said and coach continues to behave the same way.
> 
> It seems like many of us tolerate this garbage and have developed some thick skin but why in the world should we tolerate this crap there is no excuse and we just let it continue same reason why half the United Stares hates Trump but he’s still in office.
> 
> And today I felt I should bill blass that ass because the coach and club deserve a bad report sorry I’m not holding my tongue!!


The only person you are hurting with this post is your daughter as you have no idea who is reading this and what decision down the road is made because of it.  You are probably right about everything and it is wrong but welcome to the club.  What you described sounded exactly like what we went through at another club and we left.  We could sit around and complain or we could leave.  The latter made more sense.


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## OCsoccerdad7777 (May 8, 2018)

I actually like the calling out of bad coaches and teams. I personally wouldn't due to the fact that burning bridges is dangerous.

But it is nice to see that coaches and clubs can actually be called out. There are too many that have poor coaching/behavior and get away with it because people are afraid to burn bridges. Good coaches will always get 2nd chances. If this can maybe keep some clubs or coaches a little bit honest, I am all for it.

The posts will get dissected like this post was and if isn't true, then we will get a good idea on who is wrong or not. Will only either show as a bad person for saying those things or will help educate those that maybe didn't know those things.

I actually give Gee credit for posting that. Not agreeing with Gee but at least something was attempted to shed light on a specific coach or club.

But beware like others have said. Don't set up your DD or DS to fail down the line because of your actions.


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## Kicker4Life (May 8, 2018)

46n2 said:


> Id hate to be on the same team as Gee.


Don’t worry, it wouldn’t last long.  Just check the track record!


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## timbuck (May 8, 2018)

One coach is a control freak.  The other is lazy.
I wish you well on your quest to find what best fits your 2007 kid.

Aside from what you and some other parents think, how has your player felt about the 2 coaches/clubs you’ve named here in the last few months?


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## Josep (May 8, 2018)

Gee,

May I suggest Volleyball for your kid.  You can’t seem to make an educated decision on soccer teams, and you can’t seem to understand how soccer works. 

These guys typically have 2-4 teams.  Overlap happens and the Shit flows downhill.  The coach isn’t missing the A team’s game for your game.  

Understand your position in the hierarchy, where your team sits within the age group of the club, and where your player fits within the club.


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## Kicker4Life (May 9, 2018)

soccerislife said:


> see that is part of the problem.  people get bashed for calling out bad behavior.  so he's had 2 bad experience.  he should be allowed to voice them on a forum so that other don't make the same mistakes.  coaches should be called out for bad stuff with out be questioned about his own intentions.  this is how things get out of control.  this is why us soccer is so bad.  parent are so afraid of calling out coaches.  coaches should not be going to strip clubs while traveling with there team bottom line they should also remember who is paying them.


It’s not what is said as much as how it is said.


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## Chalklines (May 9, 2018)

Kicker4Life said:


> Don’t worry, it wouldn’t last long.  Just check the track record!


But here's the problem. 

Guys like gee are already implanted in each of our clubs. They're always delusional about their kids tallent level and the bitching starts usually starts because of playing time. 

Why cant we just be honest with our kids? Is it that hard? Instead of blaming everyone else for their short comings why not use it as motivation to get better?

I'll even take it one step further. Let's start by asking your kid if they even want to play. 

Have you even taken a minute to think about how embarrassed and uncomfortable your making them by your actions.....again?


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## Frank (May 9, 2018)

Coaching conflicts are usually settled by going to the higher tier teams game, the more important tournament or game or who they can get to cover for them based on where the game is. 

Typically the tier 2 team is going to lose out to the tier 1.


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## Grace T. (May 9, 2018)

focomoso said:


> I agree with your entire list except this one (and perhaps coaches worrying about their livelihood: they don't get paid much and work very hard and have to make a living...)
> 
> It's when coaches put their team ahead of development that I see a problem.


Coaches put the team ahead of development because parents chase the wins, the clubs advertise them (and the clubs are all looking for growth) and we have a tiered system (where lower teams are looking for promotion or to stay competitive within the band)....if they don't they either lose their teams or get fired......should have probably added the ban system we have (which causes it's own problems but then I don't know what to replace them...you'd have gold teams out there crushing newly formed bronze teams)).

Meh, I'm a case in point of putting my son's development in front of his team.  If he had been a bencher I would have pushed for playtime (seeing I think at '08 the players should all get some playtime if they are on the team), I pushed for him to get field time, I pushed for him to learn the backpass and to be given some attention during the pregame warmup, and I looked to get the team involved in some parties and social events.  In retrospect, I was a squeeky wheel to the coaches who wanted to be left alone, not questioned, and who just wanted to do what it took to get some wins on the board and juggle their 3 teams.  I could have just shut up and taken what they offered like our team manager, but then it was the first time out and I believed in them and was naive about club soccer.  I've come to realize that what's good for the child isn't necessarily what's good for the coach (or the parent) and that's part of the problem.  In any case, I've coached and have friends that have coached and one of the thing that annoys them most is parents who think they know what they are doing (some of us do, though a little knowledge is a dangerous things, and many of us don't) and who interfere with their vision (whether right or wrong....because then basically it comes down to who is right and no coach is ever going to admit they are wrong or in it, even a little bit, for themselves....when asked everyone from US Soccer,to the coaches to the refs to the parents say they are in it "for the kids"...it's just not human nature since we all want to see ourselves as being noble).


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## RedCard (May 9, 2018)

There’s always AYSO, but you’ll probably get upset at the team mom about the snack  rotation ..........


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## 46n2 (May 9, 2018)

RedCard said:


> There’s always AYSO, but you’ll probably get upset at the team mom about the snack  rotation ..........


God , best part of soccer back in the day was oranges and plastic bottle sugar drinks!!!!!!


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## Kicker4Life (May 9, 2018)

46n2 said:


> God , best part of soccer back in the day was oranges and plastic bottle sugar drinks!!!!!!


The ones shaped like barrels with the peel off aluminum top?  Oh yeah, those were the best!


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## 80sforce (May 9, 2018)




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## toucan (May 9, 2018)

Frank said:


> Coaching conflicts are usually settled by going to the higher tier teams game, the more important tournament or game or who they can get to cover for them based on where the game is.
> 
> Typically the tier 2 team is going to lose out to the tier 1.


I suppose each coach prioritizes in his or her own way.  I had three teams last year; one that went 14-0-0, one that went 11-2-1, and one that went 3-10-1.  There were conflicts on most weekends.  I always chose the game where I thought I was most needed.  Accordingly, I only missed two games due to conflicts for my team that went 3-10-1, but I missed 4 games each for my stronger teams.  In State Cup, I had another conflict.  My 14-0-0 team was playing in the Rounds of 32 and 16 on the same weekend that my 11-2-1 team was starting its pool-play in Lancaster.  That team needed me more, so I went to Lancaster.


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## Grace T. (May 9, 2018)

80sforce said:


> View attachment 2565


This is funny, but true.  But like everything, there are a bunch of reasons why this happens and it's not just snowflake syndrome.  If anything, one of the reasons is because Gen X and the early Millenials are more competitive than their parents and actually care about the "wins" in school instead of just accepting their kids for who they are.  Then there's the fact that college admissions have become more competitive and so more is on the line and there's a greater demand to be perfect. 

True story: my parents never interfered with my education (even against a nun in 6th grade who was border line abusive but in the end taught me a great deal about responsibility, personal commitment, and excellence) until high school.  My freshman year of high school, I had a teacher who was a full blown socialist whose first 4 weeks of European history lessons were social justice issues (contemporary, not historical)...week 2 was a lesson on how US agribusiness was ruining Latin America and we needed to go back to the days of community (read peasant) farming....rather than regurg the rubbish, for the example I presented a defense about how (even though it has negative consequences such as pollution, poverty and migration to the cities, which I expressly referenced) mass agribusiness was actually responsible for increasing farm yields throughout the world....pretty balanced approach, highlighting the positives and the negatives, as well as what could be done better.  She flunked me.  My parents were livid and it was the first time they ever called a parent conference to discuss a grade.  Teacher tried to argue I didn't understand the material and she was grading me on my failure to memorize, rather than my rebutting her political views.  My father, to his credit didn't take it and questioned up to the principal why we were even learning this material instead of what's in the history book.  Given what's on the line now days, I can't see a parent allowing the same situation now days without calling in the lawyers.    And I couldn't see the same school allowing the teacher to go off on the rails on a private political agenda instead of teaching the curriculum (yeah, I know both red states and blue states put indoctrination into the curriculum now....how else is indoctrination going to get into schools).

So yeah, but the days of people just deferring to authority, for better or worse, right or left, are pretty much over.  That extends to soccer too, which is why you get so many noisy questioning parents which are the bain of coaches' existence.


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## Sheriff Joe (May 9, 2018)

46n2 said:


> God , best part of soccer back in the day was oranges and plastic bottle sugar drinks!!!!!!


Funny, back in the 70's we liked the 5 lb ball.


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## Chalklines (May 10, 2018)

Have any of you encountered a coach with zero back bone who let's these people like Gee walk all over them and the team?

I know most large clubs have zero tolerance but I'm talking about the smaller ones and you know the type. The parent who needs to talk with the coach before and after practice and immediately after the games and typically blames the better tallent for their kids shortcomings and tries to get other parents to buy into their Bs

Yeah.... That parent.


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## Yolinda (May 13, 2018)

Chalklines said:


> But here's the problem.
> 
> Guys like gee are already implanted in each of our clubs. They're always delusional about their kids tallent level and the bitching starts usually starts because of playing time.
> 
> ...


That just sucks!!


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## Chalklines (May 13, 2018)

Yolinda said:


> That just sucks!!


Live and learn. 

I have an older at a big club that allows zero parental input and a younger at a much smaller club who's coach entertains the daily circle jerk before/during/after every game and practice. 

Problem with a cancer parent is if you dont cut them off it spreads and only gets worse. Club will learn the hard way when the talent walks at the end of the season. Its much better for a program to cut its loss with one family now then risk the potential of a team blow up come January.


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## Yolinda (May 13, 2018)

Chalklines said:


> Live and learn.
> 
> I have an older at a big club that allows zero parental input and a younger at a much smaller club who's coach entertains the daily circle jerk before/during/after every game and practice.
> 
> Problem with a cancer parent is if you dont cut them off it spreads and only gets worse. Club will learn the hard way when the talent walks at the end of the season. Its much better for a program to cut its loss with one family now then risk the potential of a team blow up come January.


We have two DD that play club.  We went to a smaller club with the younger dd and parent politics are horrible.  We want a coach with zero tolerance, so we will be leaving. 

 It depends on the coach, not the club in my experience.  We have had plenty of coaches at big clubs play grab a$$ with the parents.  Especially, if they got something out of it.


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## outside! (May 13, 2018)

Yolinda said:


> We have two DD that play club.  We went to a smaller club with the younger dd and parent politics are horrible.  We want a coach with zero tolerance, so we will be leaving.
> 
> It depends on the coach, not the club in my experience.  We have had plenty of coaches at big clubs play grab a$$ with the parents.  Especially, if they got something out of it.


There are plenty of cases of coaches grabbing more than a$$ with some parents.


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