# The Demise of Youth Team Sports?



## oh canada (Oct 15, 2019)

Last month I was back home north of the border and heard several times from friends with young kids how they are going to skip team sports (eg, hockey) and have their kids play individual sports instead.  Then, last weekend was with a group of friends here in OC who said the same thing.  Maybe youth team sports (and all the travel, politics, etc.) is reaching a tipping point?  Or, maybe millennial parents are going to value more activity-together time than Gen X-ers?  The points I heard are very similar to the article linked below.  Must admit, there are some valid considerations.

https://www.backwoodsmama.com/2017/10/5-reasons-why-i-dont-register-my-kids-in-team-sports.html


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## Zdrone (Oct 15, 2019)

And that’s why Canada won’t win a war, teach em young...

total sarcasm here. Gotta say the best steak I ever had was an Italian joint in Montreal. And the first time I saw curling.... absolutely riveting.


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## LASTMAN14 (Oct 15, 2019)

Zdrone said:


> And that’s why Canada won’t win a war, teach em young...
> 
> total sarcasm here. Gotta say the best steak I ever had was an Italian joint in Montreal. And the first time I saw curling.... absolutely riveting.


You know a chef and his kitchen crew are a team.


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## LASTMAN14 (Oct 15, 2019)

oh canada said:


> Last month I was back home north of the border and heard several times from friends with young kids how they are going to skip team sports (eg, hockey) and have their kids play individual sports instead.  Then, last weekend was with a group of friends here in OC who said the same thing.  Maybe youth team sports (and all the travel, politics, etc.) is reaching a tipping point?  Or, maybe millennial parents are going to value more activity-together time than Gen X-ers?  The points I heard are very similar to the article linked below.  Must admit, there are some valid considerations.
> 
> https://www.backwoodsmama.com/2017/10/5-reasons-why-i-dont-register-my-kids-in-team-sports.html[/QUOTE
> There are valid points with the counter. But I could not find an article by backwoodsmama.


There are valid points with the counter. But I could not find an article by backwoodsmama.


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## justneededaname (Oct 15, 2019)

A different take than backwoodsmama.  A friend of mine was telling me his son recently quit soccer to focus on wrestling. His reason "In socccer, a coach decides if you are any good. In wrestling, I am good if I win. No one else's opinion matters."


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## timbuck (Oct 15, 2019)

And Canada just wiped the floor with our US Men’s National Team. Almost as low as the T&T loss.


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## MyDaughtersAKeeper (Oct 16, 2019)

You are telling me that over involved helicopter parents don't want to expose their kids to what life will be like once they are out of school, shocking!!  (Sarcasm font).  Team sports are great ways for kids to learn a variety of lessons that will prove invaluable later in life.  Teamwork, getting along with people you may not like, you cannot win everything all the time, you may not be as good at something as you thought, winning matters, etc... are all lessons that team sports provide.  If you don't want your kid to participate in team sports, so be it.  That is an individual parent choice.  I just hope that the parent isn't denying their child a chance to learn these lessons due to unresolved issues the parents have.  Team sports, individual sports, or no sports at all, find a way to prepare your child for life when you are not around.


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## oh canada (Oct 16, 2019)

timbuck said:


> And Canada just wiped the floor with our US Men’s National Team. Almost as low as the T&T loss.


C'mon now, we're a better team than T&T.  First time in 34 years.  Canadian soccer fans are beaming


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## oh canada (Oct 16, 2019)

MyDaughtersAKeeper said:


> You are telling me that over involved helicopter parents don't want to expose their kids to what life will be like once they are out of school, shocking!!  (Sarcasm font).  Team sports are great ways for kids to learn a variety of lessons that will prove invaluable later in life.  Teamwork, getting along with people you may not like, you cannot win everything all the time, you may not be as good at something as you thought, winning matters, etc... are all lessons that team sports provide.  If you don't want your kid to participate in team sports, so be it.  That is an individual parent choice.  I just hope that the parent isn't denying their child a chance to learn these lessons due to unresolved issues the parents have.  Team sports, individual sports, or no sports at all, find a way to prepare your child for life when you are not around.


But keep in mind that many individual sports also have a team aspect.  Think swimming or track and field, or as the above poster mentioned wrestling, even gymnastics.


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## Poconos (Oct 16, 2019)

justneededaname said:


> A different take than backwoodsmama.  A friend of mine was telling me his son recently quit soccer to focus on wrestling. His reason "In socccer, a coach decides if you are any good. In wrestling, I am good if I win. No one else's opinion matters."


There's no comparison to the lessons to be learned in team sports where you must work in unison with others . . . even if you don't particularly like them.


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## JumboJack (Oct 16, 2019)

oh canada said:


> C'mon now, we're a better team than T&T.  First time in 34 years.  Canadian soccer fans are beaming


Yeah, but you beat a team that lost to T&T.....


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## focomoso (Oct 16, 2019)

oh canada said:


> Last month I was back home north of the border and heard several times from friends with young kids how they are going to skip team sports (eg, hockey) and have their kids play individual sports instead.  Then, last weekend was with a group of friends here in OC who said the same thing.  Maybe youth team sports (and all the travel, politics, etc.) is reaching a tipping point?  Or, maybe millennial parents are going to value more activity-together time than Gen X-ers?  The points I heard are very similar to the article linked below.  Must admit, there are some valid considerations.
> 
> https://www.backwoodsmama.com/2017/10/5-reasons-why-i-dont-register-my-kids-in-team-sports.html


Interesting. And I get the family joint participation angle, but individual sports (like tennis and golf and swimming / diving) have a ton of travel as well and can be hugely competitive.


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## LASTMAN14 (Oct 16, 2019)

focomoso said:


> Interesting. And I get the family joint participation angle, but individual sports (like tennis and golf and swimming / diving) have a ton of travel as well and can be hugely competitive.


A past neighbors kid was a nationally ranked golfer. He traveled heavily across the country and state.


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## Justafan (Oct 16, 2019)

oh canada said:


> Last month I was back home north of the border and heard several times from friends with young kids how they are going to skip team sports (eg, hockey) and have their kids play individual sports instead.  Then, last weekend was with a group of friends here in OC who said the same thing.  Maybe youth team sports (and all the travel, politics, etc.) is reaching a tipping point?  Or, maybe millennial parents are going to value more activity-together time than Gen X-ers?  The points I heard are very similar to the article linked below.  Must admit, there are some valid considerations.
> 
> https://www.backwoodsmama.com/2017/10/5-reasons-why-i-dont-register-my-kids-in-team-sports.html


Can all the top soccer girls please go do an individual sport in the next three years so as my dd’s can have a better shot at a scholarship?


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## Poconos (Oct 16, 2019)

focomoso said:


> Interesting. And I get the family joint participation angle, but individual sports (like tennis and golf and swimming / diving) have a ton of travel as well and can be hugely competitive.


i was a competitive swimmer from grade 2 thru college.  the camaraderie experienced with my HS soccer team, HS BBall team, and private baseball team was way beyond whatever i gained from being on a (highly successful, multiple nat'l) swim "team."  i went out of my way to steer my daughter clear of the "lone wolf" sports.  not to mention, no longer having to listen to ceaseless echoes in natatoriums and breathing the endless flow of chlorine makes it that much sweeter.


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## pulguita (Oct 16, 2019)

oh canada said:


> Last month I was back home north of the border and heard several times from friends with young kids how they are going to skip team sports (eg, hockey) and have their kids play individual sports instead.  Then, last weekend was with a group of friends here in OC who said the same thing.  Maybe youth team sports (and all the travel, politics, etc.) is reaching a tipping point?  Or, maybe millennial parents are going to value more activity-together time than Gen X-ers?  The points I heard are very similar to the article linked below.  Must admit, there are some valid considerations.
> 
> https://www.backwoodsmama.com/2017/10/5-reasons-why-i-dont-register-my-kids-in-team-sports.html


The wimpification of the american youth.  Wow just follows in with millennial thought.  No where in our educational system does anything prepare the individual for the real world more than team sports.  I'll go to the other end of the spectrum - millennial mommy and daddy don't want little Johnny or Suzy exposed to the harshness of reality.  Everyone gets a trophy, there are no winners and losers, don't want someone's feeling hurt.  We've been able to have plenty of family time outside of sports.  Make the time and quit making excuses.  I call bs.


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## oh canada (Oct 16, 2019)

pulguita said:


> The wimpification of the american youth.  Wow just follows in with millennial thought.  No where in our educational system does anything prepare the individual for the real world more than team sports.  I'll go to the other end of the spectrum - millennial mommy and daddy don't want little Johnny or Suzy exposed to the harshness of reality.  Everyone gets a trophy, there are no winners and losers, don't want someone's feeling hurt.  We've been able to have plenty of family time outside of sports.  Make the time and quit making excuses.  I call bs.


What life lessons exactly are taught by team sports teach that you cannot get from individual sports with a team or school clubs/activities?  Reliance on others...ok.  Remember, I'm a former hockey player and my 3 kids play soccer, so not anti-team sports as the younger parents I heard from are.  But I definitely wouldn't say that wrestling, gymnastics, or cross country are "wimpy" sports compared to soccer and football.  Just because you have bigger humans playing, doesn't make it a tougher sport.  Ever run 400 meters all out sprint?  That's about as grueling as grueling gets.


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## pulguita (Oct 16, 2019)

oh canada said:


> What life lessons exactly are taught by team sports teach that you cannot get from individual sports with a team or school clubs/activities?  Reliance on others...ok.  Remember, I'm a former hockey player and my 3 kids play soccer, so not anti-team sports as the younger parents I heard from are.  But I definitely wouldn't say that wrestling, gymnastics, or cross country are "wimpy" sports compared to soccer and football.  Just because you have bigger humans playing, doesn't make it a tougher sport.  Ever run 400 meters all out sprint?  That's about as grueling as grueling gets.


Sorry not directed at you but rather the article.  And the wimpification was directed more towards avoiding situations that are "uncomfortable" that come along with team sports and the real world so lets avoid team sports and do more individual stuff.   I don't get it.   At the end of the day all team sports come down to the individual.  You either handle the puck or not.  Its not up to your teammates but you do collectively work as a team.  So here is a few:  life isn't always fair, success requires sacrifice, how to lead, how to follow, how to win/lose with class, discipline, how to deal with pressure and stress, confidence, perseverance and maybe how to ask for help.


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## Luis Andres (Oct 17, 2019)

oh canada said:


> Last month I was back home north of the border and heard several times from friends with young kids how they are going to skip team sports (eg, hockey) and have their kids play individual sports instead.  Then, last weekend was with a group of friends here in OC who said the same thing.  Maybe youth team sports (and all the travel, politics, etc.) is reaching a tipping point?  Or, maybe millennial parents are going to value more activity-together time than Gen X-ers?  The points I heard are very similar to the article linked below.  Must admit, there are some valid considerations.
> 
> https://www.backwoodsmama.com/2017/10/5-reasons-why-i-dont-register-my-kids-in-team-sports.html


No way not gonna bite on this. Team sports are the best.


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## Justus (Oct 17, 2019)

oh canada said:


> Last month I was back home north of the border and heard several times from friends with young kids how they are going to skip team sports (eg, hockey) and have their kids play individual sports instead.  Then, last weekend was with a group of friends here in OC who said the same thing.  Maybe youth team sports (and all the travel, politics, etc.) is reaching a tipping point?  Or, maybe millennial parents are going to value more activity-together time than Gen X-ers?  The points I heard are very similar to the article linked below.  Must admit, there are some valid considerations.
> 
> https://www.backwoodsmama.com/2017/10/5-reasons-why-i-dont-register-my-kids-in-team-sports.html


5 Reasons *Why I Don’t* Register My Kids in Team Sports
Mama Bear built her life the way she wanted to and kids have no choice.  I have friends who home schooled three kids, none of them had Iphones until 16 years old and they're the most amazing kids I know.  However, this Mama Bear say's she gives the kids a choice every year to go public and doesn't go around attacking public schools.  I tried to get my boy to play team baseball but Coach Dave was a complete asshole and my kid chose to be #1 video player at his school instead


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## jpeter (Oct 17, 2019)




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## Desert Hound (Oct 17, 2019)

focomoso said:


> Interesting. And I get the family joint participation angle, but individual sports (like tennis and golf and swimming / diving) have a ton of travel as well and can be hugely competitive.


Individual sports teach quite a bit as well. You cannot blame a teammate for costing you a game. Tennis, golf, etc., win or lose the result is a result of your effort or lack there of. And that teaches an important life lesson I think.


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## SoccerFan4Life (Oct 18, 2019)

justneededaname said:


> A different take than backwoodsmama.  A friend of mine was telling me his son recently quit soccer to focus on wrestling. His reason "In socccer, a coach decides if you are any good. In wrestling, I am good if I win. No one else's opinion matters."


Your son is very smart.  My son did the same thing, he quit soccer to go to wrestling.   


 I have one more child left in soccer but I am pretty much tired of all the bs related to youth soccer.  It’s exhausting compared to individual sport participation.


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## blam (Oct 21, 2019)

Brings up a good point. 

Some soccer high school coaches also are club coaches or has child that play the sport. How does the school deal with conflict of interest which will happen?


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## Supermodel56 (Oct 24, 2019)

SoccerFan4Life said:


> Your son is very smart.  My son did the same thing, he quit soccer to go to wrestling.
> 
> 
> I have one more child left in soccer but I am pretty much tired of all the bs related to youth soccer.  It’s exhausting compared to individual sport participation.


We’ve felt this way multiple times too - individual sports would really help eliminate a lot of the drama. But then, I think team sports is more similar to real life and learning to navigate that and emerge somehow as a better person than when you went in will help you be successful in all your other pursuits. Learning how to confidently deal with politics, difficult people, unfair situations, ambiguity, bullies, situations beyond your control, etc... may be unpleasant, but i think prepares you for the real world where there are no referees.

they spend so much time in schools today trying to teach kids not to bully, when the reality is they should be teaching how to deal with them so they have no power over you.


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## Chalklines (Oct 25, 2019)

Supermodel56 said:


> We’ve felt this way multiple times too - individual sports would really help eliminate a lot of the drama. But then, I think team sports is more similar to real life and learning to navigate that and emerge somehow as a better person than when you went in will help you be successful in all your other pursuits. Learning how to confidently deal with politics, difficult people, unfair situations, ambiguity, bullies, situations beyond your control, etc... may be unpleasant, but i think prepares you for the real world where there are no referees.
> 
> they spend so much time in schools today trying to teach kids not to bully, when the reality is they should be teaching how to deal with them so they have no power over you.


But politics shouldn't be involved in youth sports. Kids shouldn't have to deal with slimy parents behind the scenes when they should be primarily focused on improving and having fun.

Let's face it. The youth sport scene is disgusting and it's caused 100%  from parents who just can't face the facts about their kids. 

Instead of bitching and politicking why not use that wasted time in making your child a better individual?


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## Justus (Oct 25, 2019)

Supermodel56 said:


> We’ve felt this way multiple times too - individual sports would really help eliminate a lot of the drama. But then, I think team sports is more similar to real life and learning to navigate that and emerge somehow as a better person than when you went in will help you be successful in all your other pursuits. Learning how to confidently deal with politics, difficult people, unfair situations, ambiguity, bullies, situations beyond your control, etc... may be unpleasant, but i think prepares you for the real world where there are no referees.
> 
> they spend so much time in schools today trying to teach kids not to bully, when the reality is they should be teaching how to deal with them so they have no power over you.


In my real world we do have referees.  The problem with Youth Soccer, many parents are afraid to speak up because of the college deal and the threat of being labeled a club hopper, being blacklisted or being labeled one crazy ass, upset PaPa.  Let me tell you @Supermodel56, my dd has experienced the worse of the worse of all the sewer that comes with youth soccer and also, all the best that comes with it.  Two extremes to analyze and look at to see how little girls should be treated in this sport.  I agree with you this will prepare little girls for the nonsense they will have to deal when they get older. so lets keep real for reals.  Now at 15 she can smell a rat a mile away and have empathy to other little girls with moms and dads who get sold ketchup popsicles from Docs from another country   I actually hear they have new flavors to sell now too


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## Supermodel56 (Oct 25, 2019)

Chalklines said:


> But politics shouldn't be involved in youth sports. Kids shouldn't have to deal with slimy parents behind the scenes when they should be primarily focused on improving and having fun.
> 
> Let's face it. The youth sport scene is disgusting and it's caused 100%  from parents who just can't face the facts about their kids.
> 
> Instead of bitching and politicking why not use that wasted time in making your child a better individual?


i agree, politics shouldn’t be a part of youth sports, but it is, it always will be. It’s no difference at school with the crazy parents who get upset because their kids didn’t pass a test and the parent blames the teacher or god forbid some other kids project got chosen over theirs. Frankly, it’s not just youth sports that have become disgusting at times, people in general are. 

but that’s my point - we talk about how great team sports are for preparing you for life, and it is, but just as life has so much to offer, there are some really shitty aspects that people to deal with too. Learning to navigate that, stay out of the drama, stand up to bullies and become confident in your skills to move forward regardless of what is going on around you - will have a tremendous impact on your general happiness and ability succeed later on in life.  Unfortunately, as with anything else, getting good at that doesn’t come without practice and experience.


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## Justus (Oct 25, 2019)

Chalklines said:


> But politics shouldn't be involved in youth sports. Kids shouldn't have to deal with slimy parents behind the scenes when they should be primarily focused on improving and having fun.
> 
> Let's face it. The youth sport scene is disgusting and it's caused 100%  from parents who just can't face the facts about their kids.
> 
> Instead of bitching and politicking why not use that wasted time in making your child a better individual?


Unfortunately, politics and money are the gas that makes the youth soccer engine go.  The parents are 100% to blame!!!  Every week coaches from all over the world come to America looking for work and the pursuit of the American Dream.  According to former Surf Soccer Club’s Director of Coaching, *Colin Chester*, "I see a lot of people and receive a be-zillion emails a year with coaches looking for a job."  Freaking a Be-zillion coaches looking for work....wow!!!  That's just one club too.  Coach Woodcock has 2500+ customers.  I know other coaches with a large following too.  Heck, that De Anza coach took everyone over to Earthquakes.... 

 Potential New future Coaches arriving to Interview to coach club soccer


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## Chalklines (Oct 25, 2019)

Justus said:


> Unfortunately, politics and money are the gas that makes the youth soccer engine go.  The parents are 100% to blame!!!  Every week coaches from all over the world come to America looking for work and the pursuit of the American Dream.  According to former Surf Soccer Club’s Director of Coaching, *Colin Chester*, "I see a lot of people and receive a be-zillion emails a year with coaches looking for a job."  Freaking a Be-zillion coaches looking for work....wow!!!  That's just one club too.  Coach Woodcock has 2500+ customers.  I know other coaches with a large following too.  Heck, that De Anza coach took everyone over to Earthquakes....
> 
> Potential New future Coaches arriving to Interview to coach club soccer
> View attachment 5536


I can't deal with the politics. 

This is why I have stuck to smaller clubs. Larger clubs you run into the most poeblems with parents of multiple players in the club. They leverage their kids and threaten to walk when the wind doesn't blow in their favor so it's a double hit on the club and weak minded coaches especially at the younger levels will bend to stay employed. 

With tryouts on the horizon I would also run for the hills from a team with more then 2 familys with multiples playing and their oldest went through the same coach you'll end up with. These parents put the most pressure on the coach and will play the favorite card when necessary. Everyone involved in sports has experienced this in some capacity and it's just a damn shame.


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## SoccerFan4Life (Oct 29, 2019)

The other issue is that club soccer is now none stop 11 months a year.    It shouldn’t be this way.   Kids and parents get burned out with so much soccer year after year.   Make it a mandatory 3 month break. Let the kids try other sports or just take a break.


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## Poconos (Oct 30, 2019)

SoccerFan4Life said:


> The other issue is that club soccer is now none stop 11 months a year.    It shouldn’t be this way.   Kids and parents get burned out with so much soccer year after year.   Make it a mandatory 3 month break. Let the kids try other sports or just take a break.


theoretically, that would mean club dues reduction by 1/4.


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