what would you do.....

Discussion in 'SoCalScene' started by soccerparent1, Nov 12, 2017.

  1. soccerparent1

    soccerparent1 Bronze

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    Our DD plays U17 for a fairly large club in So Cal. Today we receive this message from our coach:

    "Hello parents. I am writing to inform you I do not appreciate the talking behind me back asking for me to be fired. The team just won league and I'll let you know right now this is my ship and I'm in charge. I will not be inviting some of you back after high school season. If you don't like what's going on you can collect your card at practice and be gone and that's the end of it. I'm over the constant complaining and whining when the girls are doing well. So having said that I want to reiterate I am the coach and in charge and if you don't like it then leave. Cards will be at practice Tuesday for those who want"

    Parents are annoyed because he didn't show up for 2 games during league play (had E-licensed manager sit on bench and do subs) and yesterday during SCDSL playoffs, was 13 minutes late and had player cards with him. He kicked off the mangers daughter 3 weeks ago, so we didn't even have a manager to start the game. Our girls were upset/nervous, etc. because they didn't know where he was and of course did not play to their potential. Since it is the beginning of high school season it will be hard to find a new team prior to National Cup tie....
     
  2. Rusty

    Rusty Bronze

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    U17 so I would ultimately let the kid decide. That being said the phrase, “this is my ship and I am in charge” would have me heading straight to the exits as a parent. For some reason, youth sports coaches seem to forget who writes the checks to pay their salary. Whether they like it or not, customer service is part of the job. The fact that there was a coach & manager issue doesn’t sound terribly promising either...
    That is my opinion as a coach.
     
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  3. Surfref

    Surfref Silver

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    It sounds as if the coach has forgotten who the customer is and who is paying his salary. It is also screwed up that the club does not listen to the concerns of the parents and mediate between coach and parents. Screwed up of the parents not directly addressing the problems with the coach and DOC. Coming on here and posting the coaches email doesn’t help the situation. The coach does sound like a narcissistic a-hole and bully.

    What to do? Let the players sit down together and figure it out then address it with the coach. If the players are happy with the club and playing together but dislike the coach’s behavior, the players and parents need to address the problem with the DOC and club president.

    My DD played for clubs that had teams unhappy with the coach, so the club moved the coach and assigned a new coach. Clubs would much rather keep those 16-18 cash paying families than see them go to another club. There are a ton of clubs that would welcome a winning team moving to their club and find them a good coach.
     
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  4. soccerparent1

    soccerparent1 Bronze

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    Thanks, about 2/3 of team is unhappy. Had a meeting with DOC, but he protects his coach. We are a “satellite” of a much larger club and this wil probably need to go to main club DOC to get resolved. DD is not sure what she wants to do, feels like she is getting good training, but coach’s stupid behavior keeps messing things up for team.
     
  5. Surfref

    Surfref Silver

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    IMHO, the 2/3 or more of the players/parents need to band together and start negotiating to move to another team. I would call the coach’s bluff and have those 11-12 (2/3) players pick up their player cards and use the HS season to find a new club that will support them. Why wait until after the HS season for the a-hole coach to determine who he is going to cut. Do what is best for your kid and you control their future. If the team moves during the HS season it would enable them to still play National Cup this year. I bet the other 1/3 of players/parents will probably follow. I am sure the a-hole coach will miss that monthly salary from that team.
     
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  6. Fact

    Fact Bronze

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    Did he have a valid reason for missing games and being late? This sounds like Steveo where Surf protected his bad behavior until he got caught in a chase going the wrong way on the freeway.

    Without DOC support, I would see if the team can move to a supportive club.
     
  7. soccerparent1

    soccerparent1 Bronze

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    It is always coaching conflicts and he picks his favorite team (he has 3 teams). He feels the girls are old enough to coach themselves, so he doesn’t bother to find a coach to cover, I personally think he doesn’t want to ask anyone to cover his games because he might have to compensate them (?) I guess if my Dd is old enough to coach herself why am I paying him. He’s fairly young and coaching is his only source of income.
     
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  8. Surfref

    Surfref Silver

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    Could not agree more. You don’t pay your DD to coach herself.

    Time to abandon ship and let the coach go down with his sinking ship. The majority of these girls probably only have one more year of youth soccer. They should have fun during that last year and not have to deal with an a-hole coach.
     
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  9. uburoi

    uburoi Bronze

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    Bummer. The relationship with this coach can not continue, sadly. Everyone paid for a year, so the coach is really asking players not to fulfill their commitments to support his own issues. I would forward his email to the head office. If corporate gets if from m a few parents, they’ll act. Don’t be emotional or make judgments. Just say you’re a concerned parent and ask for a response.
     
  10. timbuck

    timbuck Silver Elite

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    At u17, I'd expect the coach would be talking to the players more than the parents.
    At that age, all parents will be taking about the coach. Need to have a thick skin if your gonna coach high level players that are basically adults.
     
  11. Frank

    Frank Bronze

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    Sounds like the parents are too involved. If the player likes the coach that's the most important thing at U17. They are old enough to decide what works for them with parental support
     
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  12. rainbow_unicorn

    rainbow_unicorn Bronze

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    I think both parties are acting rashly. Coach could definitely use this as a learning experience on how to better communicate w/o pissing off parents. Parents overreacted by calling for firing because of no-show due to coaching conflicts. Did parents even try to sit down with the coach first to express their opinions or did they go straight to the DOC asking for him to get fired? I know I would not be happy if somebody went straight to my boss asking me to get fired w/o first coming to me to resolve.
     
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  13. soccerparent1

    soccerparent1 Bronze

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    As far as I know, no one, including myself, has asked that he be fired. I have only asked that he make sure his games are covered. DOC had a meeting with parents 3-4 weeks ago and assured us all our games would be covered. We also asked that coach send group texts to parents regarding team issues such as practice changes/cancellations/ etc., since we no longer had a manager to communicate with us, but first communication we as parents receive from coach all season is the one I posted above, he tells the girls to tell their parents to butt out and let him do his job.
     
  14. Fact

    Fact Bronze

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    People that don't show up for work without calling in sick and without a valid reason are fired. It is no excuse not to have coverage for his games especially since the team might have to forfeit. Not your responsibility to teach this punk how to be accountable. Move the team so your dd can enjoy what time she has left playing soccer.
     
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  15. soccerparent1

    soccerparent1 Bronze

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    I think this is the anology I’m looking for.
     
  16. Surfref

    Surfref Silver

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    You need to move the players as a group to keep the chemistry and friendships together.
     
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  17. Simisoccerfan

    Simisoccerfan Bronze

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    If you daughter and most of the other girls on the team are not looking to play college soccer it should be relatively easy move to another club after HS. If they are looking to get recruited I am not sure making waves with this larger club helps you right now. The club will likely take the coaches side. I know that sucks but you could end up without a good place to play until next summer missing out on any showcases and National Cup at a very critical time (Junior year). If your daughter was younger I definitely would not put up with the coach. The good news is that you won your league so something must be going right. Good luck!
     
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  18. sandshark

    sandshark Bronze

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    Could you imagine that attitude coming from an employee at Walmart or any other place of business!? This is simply because his customers are voicing their concern for poor service and not getting what they paid for. Is he going to refund everyone a % of the sign up fee's, tournament fee's, uni form fee's along % refund for not getting the product they were sold? HELL NO he is not planing on refunding anyone for anything. Another example of people accepting this as OK in business, it is not OK in the real world! And what kind of example is this to the kids on the team? It is wrong in anyway you look at it. BAD EXAMPLE of customer serive from all involved.
     
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  19. Frank

    Frank Bronze

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    You also don't let your customers run your business or the inmates run the Asylum. Two sides to every story. I'm sure the coach missing games or being late wasn't because he is off surfing. probably at another team or something. Every coach has multiple teams and has conflicts. Sounds like 1 game he had his manager fill in and another made it there but was a little late. In the world of club soccer those are so low on the list of things to be upset about as a parent.

    I still think if the players are in to being on the team damn what the parents think at U17. keep writing your check.
     
  20. Deadpoolscores!

    Deadpoolscores!

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    I think another part of this scenario was that the coach got tired of hearing parents taking behind his back, some coaches have thick skin some don't. It's extremely rare to hear that no one has talked behind a coaches back.
     
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