Needing wisdom: Good team, more playing time vs Great team, less playing time

[stoppagetime]

Hoping for some wisdom from more experienced soccer parents...

Have a youngers DD on a good team...they can win some good tournaments in flight 2, but not enough talent and athleticism as a team to be competitive with say the top 5 or 6 teams in Southern California. Based on the way the coach plays my DD, she's ranked somewhere around #9-12 on a 15-16 player roster...starts most games but often the first one subbed out. Generally, plays half to 3/4 of game time. Lately, has had to play other than her preferred position as coach makes tactical adjustments to cover for some weakness in other areas. By the way, my DD is skilled with good vision and field awareness, but is not hyper-athletic with hyper work rate and is still on the smaller side of physical stature for her age.

During this tryout season, we may have uncovered an opportunity to move her to a very good team (top 5), where the level of play and competition would be a noticeable notch up from her current team. Likely on this new team she would likely be ranked #13-14 on a 14-15 player roster. While we are encouraged by what we are hearing from this team's coach in terms of what he likes about her and seeing how our DD fits the team, we have no idea what the playing time situation will be...but we do know enough to know that if one doesn't know, it probably means a lot less time than one thinks.

So, the question for those with many more years of experience and who have maybe faced similar situations with their own DDs (setting aside cost and commute and other externalities at least for the moment):

Is it better to have more playing time on a good team, or sacrifice that playing time for playing/training with better players against better competition?

 

[espola]

I have suggested in the past that the best situation for player development is as the weakest starter on a team - you get playing time, and you have better players as examples, and you have to work hard to keep your spot.

 

[stoppagetime]

I have suggested in the past that the best situation for player development is as the weakest starter on a team - you get playing time, and you have better players as examples, and you have to work hard to keep your spot.

Thanks espola. I can see the value in that approach.

 

[DBSoccerFan]

Great post! My daughter at U10 moved from AYSO and CSL Bronze team star to a top level, tier one team where my initial reaction regarding this new team was, ‘Holy Cow! These girls are fantastic.’ She was immediately stunned to see where she stacked up against most of the girls on the team. I would say, as you described, 9-13, on the depth chart compared to her being the darling of the team. She tried out for three teams during this particular season, two that were Flight One in SCDSL, and one that was Silver Elite in CSL. Of the three teams, she ranked them based on ease, and she asked to play on the easiest in terms of where she felt she stood out more, which made our decision easy. We elected to go with the super team (she coined that term, then) and the training that kicked her butt, and still does to this day. I wanted my girl to compete and learn to deal with competition and adversity early in her soccer life. Her passion was there, and I’m a believer in setting expectations high because kids are very resilient and will surprise you more times than not.

She was 9 at the time, and since, her development as been phenomenal (in the eye of the beholder of course). I say all of this as my thoughts on your situation. If you see passion and competitiveness in your daughter, put her in an environment where she is competing DAILY because as she gets older, everything she experiences in soccer will be based on evaluation and competition, ODP, GDA, ECNL, NTC, YNT, and all the other ancillary competitions. My thoughts only….

 

[MakeAPlay]

Great post! My daughter at U10 moved from AYSO and CSL Bronze team star to a top level, tier one team where my initial reaction regarding this new team was, ‘Holy Cow! These girls are fantastic.’ She was immediately stunned to see where she stacked up against most of the girls on the team. I would say, as you described, 9-13, on the depth chart compared to her being the darling of the team. She tried out for three teams during this particular season, two that were Flight One in SCDSL, and one that was Silver Elite in CSL. Of the three teams, she ranked them based on ease, and she asked to play on the easiest in terms of where she felt she stood out more, which made our decision easy. We elected to go with the super team (she coined that term, then) and the training that kicked her butt, and still does to this day. I wanted my girl to compete and learn to deal with competition and adversity early in her soccer life. Her passion was there, and I’m a believer in setting expectations high because kids are very resilient and will surprise you more times than not.

She was 9 at the time, and since, her development as been phenomenal (in the eye of the beholder of course). I say all of this as my thoughts on your situation. If you see passion and competitiveness in your daughter, put her in an environment where she is competing DAILY because as she gets older, everything she experiences in soccer will be based on evaluation and competition, ODP, GDA, ECNL, NTC, YNT, and all the other ancillary competitions. My thoughts only….

Ding, Ding, Ding!! We have a winner!! Kids are resilient and those that are competitive will grow to fill the space that you put them in whether it is a fish bowl, a small pond or the ocean. We were like @DBSoccerFan and wanted to push ours (she said that she loves soccer sooooo). You will be surprised at your players growth when you put them in an uncomfortable situation. If they aren't uncomfortable they won't have to push themselves and that limits their growth.

Our daughters have a lot of potential and will show it if we allow them to.

 

[MakeAPlay]

I have suggested in the past that the best situation for player development is as the weakest starter on a team - you get playing time, and you have better players as examples, and you have to work hard to keep your spot.

I agree.

 

[jrcaesar]

"Is it better to have more playing time ... or be on a better team?"

You don't define "better" in your question. Do you mean "better" because you want to increase your chance for scholarships in 7-8 years, "better" because you want to see her winning tournaments right now, or "better" because you are disappointed with her current situation?

Does your DD love playing the game of soccer -- which she won't do on this flight one team (that's a lot of weekends in a beach chair watching your 11-year-old sit on the bench) -- or does she want/need to be pushed each week in training to keep up with the top XI players?

Every coach needs to find players willing to be their 12-14th rostered players. Just make sure that your child is being chosen for the best reasons and not as filler.

EDITED TO ADD: Better also could mean finding a different Flight 2 team ... something to consider.

 

[jrcaesar]

Ugh...I should have hit on the delete on the above. Totally misread the age!!!! My bad. Although I stand by the advice when I thought I read it was 2006. Embarrassed.

(I'd go with the better team at this 2000 age, for certain. This is where being #13 on the roster is better. Sorry again.)

 

[timbuck]

If the age group here is correct (2000), then this player is 16 or 17 years old. I'd say let her 100% make the decision.
Teach her some ways to vet out the pros/cons of each, but ultimately leave it up to her.

 

[stoppagetime]

Ugh...I should have hit on the delete on the above. Totally misread the age!!!! My bad. Although I stand by the advice when I thought I read it was 2006. Embarrassed.

(I'd go with the better team at this 2000 age, for certain. This is where being #13 on the roster is better. Sorry again.)

Sorry for the confusion...my DD is an 05. Thanks for taking the time to share your advice.

 

[timbuck]

05 is an interesting age. For about half of the 05 girls, this past year was their first experience on the big field.
There are some amazing 05 players that played their 2nd season on the big field this past year (came from the old age groups and played with some of the 04 girls).
It's also a very interesting age with player confidence- For some kids, not getting a lot of playing time can be very disappointing and make them want to reconsider soccer. For others, it can motivate them to step up their game.

 

[stoppagetime]

"Is it better to have more playing time ... or be on a better team?"

You don't define "better" in your question. Do you mean "better" because you want to increase your chance for scholarships in 7-8 years, "better" because you want to see her winning tournaments right now, or "better" because you are disappointed with her current situation?

Does your DD love playing the game of soccer -- which she won't do on this flight one team (that's a lot of weekends in a beach chair watching your 11-year-old sit on the bench) -- or does she want/need to be pushed each week in training to keep up with the top XI players?

Every coach needs to find players willing to be their 12-14th rostered players. Just make sure that your child is being chosen for the best reasons and not as filler.

EDITED TO ADD: Better also could mean finding a different Flight 2 team ... something to consider.

Thanks jrcaesar.

Hadn't really thought about what "better" means beyond a basic better is better mindset. So if I give it some deeper thought, I guess how I would view better is a better chance for her to reach her ceiling...whatever that may be. She has dreams of being a national team level player. We aren't delusional given the extraordinary odds but we support her dream as much as we can...which is why we're entertaining this option which will be a much larger family commitment in terms of commute and $ than current club.

She LOVES soccer. We happen to think she needs to be pushed because she does rise (or fall) to the level of play...we've seen it many times. But, she has been in the 12-14 bunch before and struggled. Ultimately she fought and by end of the season had earned her way into the 11 more regularly, but that was then and this is now with much better players she'd have to compete with. If I knew she was going to be in the 11 on this new team even half way into the season, I think it'd be a much clearer decision.

And yes, trying to suss out coach's intentions, which I've always found difficult as the sales pitch doesn't always match reality.

 

[stoppagetime]

Great post! My daughter at U10 moved from AYSO and CSL Bronze team star to a top level, tier one team where my initial reaction regarding this new team was, ‘Holy Cow! These girls are fantastic.’ She was immediately stunned to see where she stacked up against most of the girls on the team. I would say, as you described, 9-13, on the depth chart compared to her being the darling of the team. She tried out for three teams during this particular season, two that were Flight One in SCDSL, and one that was Silver Elite in CSL. Of the three teams, she ranked them based on ease, and she asked to play on the easiest in terms of where she felt she stood out more, which made our decision easy. We elected to go with the super team (she coined that term, then) and the training that kicked her butt, and still does to this day. I wanted my girl to compete and learn to deal with competition and adversity early in her soccer life. Her passion was there, and I’m a believer in setting expectations high because kids are very resilient and will surprise you more times than not.

She was 9 at the time, and since, her development as been phenomenal (in the eye of the beholder of course). I say all of this as my thoughts on your situation. If you see passion and competitiveness in your daughter, put her in an environment where she is competing DAILY because as she gets older, everything she experiences in soccer will be based on evaluation and competition, ODP, GDA, ECNL, NTC, YNT, and all the other ancillary competitions. My thoughts only….

Thanks DBSoccerFan. I think your experience very closely mirrors the situation we find ourselves in. Appreciate your thoughts.

 

[stoppagetime]

Ding, Ding, Ding!! We have a winner!! Kids are resilient and those that are competitive will grow to fill the space that you put them in whether it is a fish bowl, a small pond or the ocean. We were like @DBSoccerFan and wanted to push ours (she said that she loves soccer sooooo). You will be surprised at your players growth when you put them in an uncomfortable situation. If they aren't uncomfortable they won't have to push themselves and that limits their growth.

Our daughters have a lot of potential and will show it if we allow them to.

Thanks MakeAPlay. Have seen a few of my DDs teammates dropping out at this age, mostly because the situations they were in (coach, style of play, playing time, etc) were not good fits. We see this as a big part of our role as parents...to find the right fit, but boy, have we found it difficult. Appreciate your advice.

 

[MyDaughtersAKeeper]

My daughter is an '05 FT goalie. The season that is ending is her 3rd year of competitive soccer. I can only speak to our experience. Find the right coach. The right coach is more important than the league, level of play, flight, etc... A coach that can develop your daughter (help her improve her skills, tactics and game knowledge), and can engage her mentally so that she pushes herself is what I consider the winning combination. In my experience, team rank is normally more about parent's egos than anything else. Having a kid on a highly ranked team is good. Having your kid on a team where she is improving is better. Good luck whatever you decide.

 

[stoppagetime]

My daughter is an '05 FT goalie. The season that is ending is her 3rd year of competitive soccer. I can only speak to our experience. Find the right coach. The right coach is more important than the league, level of play, flight, etc... A coach that can develop your daughter (help her improve her skills, tactics and game knowledge), and can engage her mentally so that she pushes herself is what I consider the winning combination. In my experience, team rank is normally more about parent's egos than anything else. Having a kid on a highly ranked team is good. Having your kid on a team where she is improving is better. Good luck whatever you decide.

Thanks MyDaughtersAKeeper. I appreciate you taking the time to comment. Good luck to you this season!

 

[Simisoccerfan]

I would let her choose what she wants to do. She is only a 2005. Your on the wrong side of puberty and really won't know her true potential for a few years. The last thing you want to do is to put her in an environment that she does not want to be in. It will burn her out. Your goal should be to provide her with the level of challenge that works for her while still making soccer fun. I have seen many top 11 year olds become average or drop out and have also seen many girls on second teams grow into stars. The challenge as a parent (which I continuously struggle with) is: it is not about what you want but what she wants!

 

[MakeAPlay]

"Is it better to have more playing time ... or be on a better team?"

You don't define "better" in your question. Do you mean "better" because you want to increase your chance for scholarships in 7-8 years, "better" because you want to see her winning tournaments right now, or "better" because you are disappointed with her current situation?

Does your DD love playing the game of soccer -- which she won't do on this flight one team (that's a lot of weekends in a beach chair watching your 11-year-old sit on the bench) -- or does she want/need to be pushed each week in training to keep up with the top XI players?

Every coach needs to find players willing to be their 12-14th rostered players. Just make sure that your child is being chosen for the best reasons and not as filler.

EDITED TO ADD: Better also could mean finding a different Flight 2 team ... something to consider.

Flight 2? Really?

 

[sandshark]

Pick the best fit for your little player. Make sure she is happy and enjoys her coach and team first before anything else. At this age you will have a lot of ups and downs in the game play but you most importantly want to make sure she is building a good foundation and love for her sport.