How to leave a team?!?!?

Discussion in 'SoCalScene' started by LilStriker, Jun 1, 2017.

  1. LilStriker

    LilStriker Bronze

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    Ok, so that experiment was a total disaster!

    For details, you can check out previous thread here: http://socalsoccer.com/threads/made-the-flight-1-a-team-mistake-or-suck-it-up.2897/

    In short, we made this nightmare team. Coach was a pretty good developmental coach, but it's become clear he's chosen his favorite star players (all players from last year) and has no real intention of giving our DD much playing time. We approached him about it and he said she's close to starting but needs to do XYZ. I call BS. I know many won't believe me but she regularly outplays at least half her teammates in practice and in matches and still doesn't start. Anyhow, in spite of starting to get to know some of the parents, my DD needs to get playing time and so I've got some questions:

    1) What's the best/wisest way to go about leaving this team at this time of year? Do we bother giving him an ultimatum on giving her more playing time? Or do we just start calling/working out with other teams/clubs first until we decide what to do?

    2) What if we'd be open to playing on the B team (which seems to have a much healthier group of parents) - should we give our current coach the heads up? I figure the B team coach will call him to ask about it anyway.

    3) What if the B team is our first priority - we think the players are good, they seem to like our DD, and the parents are pretty cool. Do we not contact outside clubs yet until we get an answer from the B team coach? Several clubs have actively tried to recruit our DD, their teams aren't as strong, but the coaches have really wanted to bring our DD on board and we've kept in touch. Out of respect, the last thing I want is to "dangle that carrot" and reject them again.

    I feel like this is like wanting to quit your job - hehe. except ironically, I'm the one paying... is this not crazy?!?!

    Anyhow, any advice would be greatly appreciated!
     
  2. chargerfan

    chargerfan Silver

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    I'm confused. Are you just reposting or is there new information?
     
  3. LilStriker

    LilStriker Bronze

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    New information is that last time in spite of everyone telling us we should find a new team, we decided to give it more time... that was a failure. Now we're deciding to leave the team - We've never left a team after already signing with a club, so any advice/tips would be greatly appreciated - would rather not burn bridges ya know?
     
  4. MyDaughtersAKeeper

    MyDaughtersAKeeper

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    If you end up leaving after committing, bridges will probably be burned. Maybe less of an issue if you stay with the same club. Keep in mind that we as parents have a hard time being objective about our kids, and their level of play/how much they should play/the talent level of the other kids/if the coach has an actual plan to develop the kids/etc...

    That said:
    1 - It is hard to get better riding the pine,
    2 - If your kid isn't happy, find something else.
    Good luck.
     
  5. LilStriker

    LilStriker Bronze

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    Thanks. So that's another question - by bridges burned, does that mean that if later on we decide to tryout again for this club with a different coach it will be held against us?
     
  6. Eagle33

    Eagle33 Silver

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    Is this coming from you or your DD is the one who is not happy? That would be the biggest question.
     
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  7. chargerfan

    chargerfan Silver

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    Just tell them you feel like it is the right decision for your daughter to go to a team where she is happier and getting more play time. There's no way to guarantee you are not burning a bridge, but if you are professional about it, they should understand.
     
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  8. Frank

    Frank Bronze

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    Consider it burned. Who cares. You don't plan on going back. Also, if you did the people involved then likely wont be involved anymore.

    Find where you like. Try out and get a commitment. When you have that go to your existing team and explain that you didn't feel it was the right place for your DD and you wish them luck. Just make sure all your bills are paid and you return anything that needs to be returned. You are not the first or last player that will come and go from a team. the team will continue and from the sounds of it they are losing what they considered a bench player so they won't take it to hard. just my 3 cents......
     
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  9. chargerfan

    chargerfan Silver

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    I agree about objectivity. Many parents think their child is the next (Julie Johnson, alex Morgan, Sydney leroux, etc) and can't see their shortcomings. But if you think she is better than most of the girls on the top team I can't imagine you would be happy with her on the b team. I recommend waiting to see if she gets an outside offer before talking to the b team coach.
     
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  10. LilStriker

    LilStriker Bronze

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    My DD never really felt a part of the team. She's happy because she likes to play soccer and doesn't care about the politics - she enjoys training, definitely wants more playing time and has been busting her ass because she believes if she works harder she'll get to - she wants to earn it. But it's become increasingly clear to me that politics are going to keep her from getting more playing time regardless of how good she gets. She also mentions every now and then wanting to play with the B team girls instead since they're nicer to her.
     
  11. LilStriker

    LilStriker Bronze

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    I have no problem if she starts the the B team, it's actually a pretty decent team with a good group of girls, most importantly, the parents all get along and they keep it fun for the girls. There are things my daughter does well and things she needs to work on.
     
  12. chargerfan

    chargerfan Silver

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    I remember your daughter being on the younger side. I wouldn't worry about any of this and just go where she is happy.
    I think honestly the only advice there is to give is s*** or get off the pot. Decide whether the b team or another club is the right fit then let the coach know asap.
     
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  13. LASTMAN14

    LASTMAN14

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    Play on the second team with in your club. You mentioned that it seems like somewhere she would like to be.
     
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  14. LilStriker

    LilStriker Bronze

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    Love it. Do I tell our current coach first or just go to the B team coach first?
     
  15. chargerfan

    chargerfan Silver

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    Current coach. He should be the first to know you want to leave the team.
     
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  16. DefenseWins

    DefenseWins Bronze

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    Since you have already committed to the club, and it doesn't seem that your DD minds playing with the B team, my suggestion would be to have the conversation with the A team coach first. Thank him for the opportunity, but you feel that she needs more game minutes, and that you feel that the B team may be a better fit for her. Not to mention, personality wise, she clicks with those girls more, and she just needs to be having fun right now. Also ask about A team opportunities. i.e. Can she play with them whenever her team isn't playing. Can she train with them whenever her team isn't training, etc.

    Not sure what club you are at, but you may want to get the DOC involved as well. Most of the time, they are the ones doing the movement, if you're at a larger club.
     
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  17. jose

    jose Bronze

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  18. LilStriker

    LilStriker Bronze

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    Thanks everyone. Spoke to my DD and she's entirely supportive of making the change, in fact, looking forward to it. There ARE a couple of girls she's gotten to know that she'll miss, but in general, she's pretty excited regardless where she ends up.
     
  19. outside!

    outside! Silver Elite

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    Good luck to Litle LilStriker.
     
  20. Surfref

    Surfref Silver Elite

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    If she is U13 and younger, just go find a new team. Also, go find her a good one-on-one soccer trainer not affiliated with the club she is playing at. If she is HS age, then you need to be careful about how you leave. I have know a few coaches to bad mouth players to college recruiters.
     
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