Parent communication with College Coaches once your kid is on the roster
- Thread starter Dubs
- Start date
Don't have dd playing but have a son playing for college.
No, other than to write an annual fundraiser check and occasional pleasantries after the game if the coach happens to come by the stands. What would you possibly have to communicate with the coaches about at this point, unless there's a safety issue.
Just keep in mind that after the "kid" turns 18, he/she is an adult with adult rights to privacy, legally. No information will be disclosed to you without the consent and even with, most institutions do not, unless involves financial or safety matter.
I know we have millennials' parents out there that stay very involved with their adult kids. I recall years ago, one of the employees that worked for one of my managers, after receiving a less than a stellar performance review, the parent actually called me to discuss the issue. Needless to say, I did not.
Also, I guess lecture at one of the local university and had a parent visit me in the classroom to discuss his kid's grades. Again, I did not discuss it with him. Told him to go talk to his kid and if he has an issue, for him to come see me. The student never came to see me about it.
I mean, wow, let it go.....
No, other than to write an annual fundraiser check and occasional pleasantries after the game if the coach happens to come by the stands. What would you possibly have to communicate with the coaches about at this point, unless there's a safety issue.
Just keep in mind that after the "kid" turns 18, he/she is an adult with adult rights to privacy, legally. No information will be disclosed to you without the consent and even with, most institutions do not, unless involves financial or safety matter.
I know we have millennials' parents out there that stay very involved with their adult kids. I recall years ago, one of the employees that worked for one of my managers, after receiving a less than a stellar performance review, the parent actually called me to discuss the issue. Needless to say, I did not.
Also, I guess lecture at one of the local university and had a parent visit me in the classroom to discuss his kid's grades. Again, I did not discuss it with him. Told him to go talk to his kid and if he has an issue, for him to come see me. The student never came to see me about it.
I mean, wow, let it go.....
I digress a little here but this really hit home from me recently when taking my kid to the doctor (per his request) and the doctor kept talking directly to him and basically ignoring me and at first I was like, "Hellllloooooo! ". But then it hit me....He is over 18. He is an adult. And it doesn't matter if I'm the one paying the bills. It's hard to let go but let go we must!!
My son played in college, and yes we continued email and direct conversations all the way through. Sometimes he got my first name wrong, but I only used my initials in my email address.
I took my son to the emergency room because he fell and cut his head in the middle of the night. The doctor was talking to him, but I was interfering by giving advice to him over her shoulder. The nice part was that when the bill arrived addressed to him at our address (and thus his old address), I just forwarded it to him so he could pay it himself.
You know you are off the payroll when you have to start paying your own medical bills!!
Little to no communication with college coach- completely inappropriate - what would you talk to the coach about? Play time, positions, training schedule? talk to your adult child about his or her experience, support your player and cheer for the team, - just enjoy being a fan, the rest is up to your adult child to handle their own college experiences and work out whatever needs to be addressed. My player would be mortified if I communicated with the coach
Mostly we talked about the upcoming prospects in the club and high school with which I was volunteering. As for scholarship money, playing time, positions, etc - the coach told my son, and then my son told me. We also went to a few fundraiser events, things like a picnic lunch for a small fee and a chance to meet the players, coaches, and other parents.
My most valuable lesson learned from all that - just when you think you have it figured out - it's over.
I do this all the time, as do many other current and former parents and players
SpeedK1llz
GOLD
My wife and I have a great relationship with our player’s entire coaching staff. We rarely seek them out for anything but when we do see them after the games or during team/family social functions, if our paths cross, they are always great at telling us how our player is doing from their perspective or something nice she did on/off the field. Sometimes we’ll talk soccer in general, commiserate about just missing the tournament or just about things we’re up to as a family. I think a lot of other parents do the same.
Frankly, I am surprised at how long they stay after games to talk to past, present and future players/families. Because of this, we tend to give them space so they don’t feel obligated to talk to EVERYBODY. GREAT welcoming, caring family atmosphere on our team but my guess is this is unique. Just one of many factors that validated our player’s choice of college to play for.
Frankly, I am surprised at how long they stay after games to talk to past, present and future players/families. Because of this, we tend to give them space so they don’t feel obligated to talk to EVERYBODY. GREAT welcoming, caring family atmosphere on our team but my guess is this is unique. Just one of many factors that validated our player’s choice of college to play for.
So I asked this question not because I want to talk to the coaching staff when the time comes... I just wanted to get a sense of IF it happens at all. Sounds like it does and doesn't. Speed's response is encouraging, just because (even though they're an "adult") it would be nice to get their perspective on how your DD is getting along in the program since they're spending just about every waking moment with them.
I think Pepperdine is an outlier; most coaching staff aren't as friendly with the 'rents.
My daughter committed to playing next fall at the University of Texas at Dallas and we are just ended up a great weekend of watching her future team play soccer - 2 wins! She attended the pregame warm-up meetings, watched practice and sat in a 2-hour review session of their performance on the first game and their plans for the next game. Over the weekend we got a chance to meet up with 6 other 2020 girls and their families. The coach had suggested that we make the effort to come out to watch some fall games and gave us and our friend free tickets. He spent a lot of time with the 2020 girls (and one 2021 commit) and after the last game we said hi and thanked him for the warm welcome. He made sure we were introduced to the entire staff and he was very welcoming. I think all club parents by this time should know what is and what is not appropriate to talk to their daughter's coaches.
I imagine that each coach is unique and we are basically trusting this coach to help our daughter grow into an outstanding young woman. Her team has many players from out of state and I already know that we will continue to have an ongoing relationship and communication as he told us so.
I imagine that each coach is unique and we are basically trusting this coach to help our daughter grow into an outstanding young woman. Her team has many players from out of state and I already know that we will continue to have an ongoing relationship and communication as he told us so.
Surfref
PREMIER
Hell no. Your kid is an adult and should be talking to their coach. Let your kid grow up. Parents are the biggest detractors to coaches at all ages. Parents should drop their kids off at practice and games and cheer during games. Don’t be that parent that complains or gives advice to the coach at U8 to college.
Don't misunderstand my post... I am truly curious if it happens... Not because I want to be that parent (my DD wouldn't allow it), but wondering what folks experience has been with the college coaching staff.
MakeAPlay
DA
My kid's staff is good with the parents. The coaches are pretty forthcoming when you request info. I would never get involved in anything other than times to show up. If you have done your job up to this point it isn't even necessary to talk about the soccer other than to say WIN multiple times and GOOD LUCK. If you drop your kid off at the Hunger Games, you better be sure that she can do her thing.
Hoping for a speedy recovery for your player and good luck to you and your family.
Thanks MAP. My kid is progressing extremely well with her rehab. I have zero doubts she will be doing her thing once the hunger games begin. She will be ready. Like I said, I don't have any need to speak with her coaches beyond pleasantries. My kid does all the talking on/off the field as always.