The worst has happened to me...

Bananacorner

SILVER ELITE
My kid quit. Long story, but DD quit and doesn't want to play at all anymore. I put her off for months, but it was obvious where it was headed -- every practice, every game was a struggle. Played club since she was 6 years old and loved it more than anything up until a year ago, it slowly started going downhill. She was playing on a pre-DA team but I guess it was too much commitment and competition for her, she burned out and stopped loving the game somewhere along the way.

I feel so bad for her losing her passion for the game, a game she loved so much and was such a big part of her life. And I feel sorry for myself, not getting to watch her play, she was so talented and such a joy to watch. I hope it never happens to you...
 
Feel bad for both of you. Just getting the chance to watch our kids in sports is a blessing, and is the only reason I hope to see my kid play in college some day. Not the money, just the hope to continue watching her for as long as possible.

Just this past weekend I heard the sister of a player that is on a DPL team. She said her sister hated her teammates but that this was the most competitive team she could be on. Pretty sure that is the parents pushing that agenda. I worry she may decide to quit someday.

Hopefully your daughter might change her mind in the future. Maybe find a team that she loves to play with. Good luck to you and her.
 
Hope the new chapter turns out well for both of you.

When my oldest went away for college and opted to focus on her education I was happy & sad at the same time. Got over it partly because she recieved some academic scholarships & was doing well at college & so happy. Once in a while she will get into pickup vball & soccer when shes visits. Family games on the holidays can be fun.

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My kid quit. Long story, but DD quit and doesn't want to play at all anymore. I put her off for months, but it was obvious where it was headed -- every practice, every game was a struggle. Played club since she was 6 years old and loved it more than anything up until a year ago, it slowly started going downhill. She was playing on a pre-DA team but I guess it was too much commitment and competition for her, she burned out and stopped loving the game somewhere along the way.

I feel so bad for her losing her passion for the game, a game she loved so much and was such a big part of her life. And I feel sorry for myself, not getting to watch her play, she was so talented and such a joy to watch. I hope it never happens to you...
Thank you for posting this, and I hope she will find the passion again perhaps after a season off. Maybe in a year or two she will want to play HS soccer with her buddies.

If you don't mind me asking, how many days/hours per week did she train with her pre-academy team? I'm always trying to find the right balance for my DD who is probably a little younger than yours. But it never crossed my mind to ask her if she just wants to take a practice or two off for no reason other than to simply relax away from soccer.
 
A friend of ours has a kid who hung up their cleats a year ago, but this year they're back and happy to be back. Could happen. Sometimes they just want a break, and then they miss it. Best wishes on the next chapter.
 
Not trying to be a dick here but.... this may be the worst that happened to you. And the best thing to happen to your daughter.

Not sure what age (you say pre-DA which sounds like she’s around 12). Hopefully she stays active and athletic.

My biggest wish for my girls is that being athletic as a kid keeps them being athletic as an adult.
 
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My kid quit. Long story, but DD quit and doesn't want to play at all anymore. I put her off for months, but it was obvious where it was headed -- every practice, every game was a struggle. Played club since she was 6 years old and loved it more than anything up until a year ago, it slowly started going downhill. She was playing on a pre-DA team but I guess it was too much commitment and competition for her, she burned out and stopped loving the game somewhere along the way.

I feel so bad for her losing her passion for the game, a game she loved so much and was such a big part of her life. And I feel sorry for myself, not getting to watch her play, she was so talented and such a joy to watch. I hope it never happens to you...
We all hate to see kids leave the sport because it stopped being fun. And I totally get the loss you feel as a parent. Watching my kid play soccer has replaced watching sports on the weekend as my favorite spectator experience. But here's another way to look at it: Good for her! She had the awareness to understand that she is better off not dedicating all this time and energy into something that doesn't bring her joy. How many of us adults slave away at jobs we don't want because we didn't listen to our guts and chase something we were passionate about? Maybe the desire and joy will return one day. Maybe not. But hopefully she finds or has already found interests which bring her happiness... just not boys. #AmIriteDads?
 
It happened to both of my kids at 16. For 12 straight years I watched them practice and play, and then they decided to hang it up. Both were starters on their club team, and both made varsity as freshman. I MISS WATCHING THEM PLAY SO MUCH! Sometimes I think about adopting and doing it all over again. Bring on the 8AMs in Lancaster and the parking fees, I would gladly drive and play to see my kids play again. When I read about some people complaining about distance, fees or climate conditions I wish I could be their kids parent for a day and drive them to the game , set my chair up, shag balls, and enjoy every touch on the ball. The most euphoric feeling I have ever had was my son making his PK at Surf Cup 2011 to send his team to the final.
I think I need to go watch a tournament and pick a team to root for it might be good therapy LOL
 
;)
It happened to both of my kids at 16. For 12 straight years I watched them practice and play, and then they decided to hang it up. Both were starters on their club team, and both made varsity as freshman. I MISS WATCHING THEM PLAY SO MUCH! Sometimes I think about adopting and doing it all over again. Bring on the 8AMs in Lancaster and the parking fees, I would gladly drive and play to see my kids play again. When I read about some people complaining about distance, fees or climate conditions I wish I could be their kids parent for a day and drive them to the game , set my chair up, shag balls, and enjoy every touch on the ball. The most euphoric feeling I have ever had was my son making his PK at Surf Cup 2011 to send his team to the final.
I think I need to go watch a tournament and pick a team to root for it might be good therapy LOL
#MAGA
 
It happened to both of my kids at 16. For 12 straight years I watched them practice and play, and then they decided to hang it up. Both were starters on their club team, and both made varsity as freshman. I MISS WATCHING THEM PLAY SO MUCH! Sometimes I think about adopting and doing it all over again. Bring on the 8AMs in Lancaster and the parking fees, I would gladly drive and play to see my kids play again. When I read about some people complaining about distance, fees or climate conditions I wish I could be their kids parent for a day and drive them to the game , set my chair up, shag balls, and enjoy every touch on the ball. The most euphoric feeling I have ever had was my son making his PK at Surf Cup 2011 to send his team to the final.
I think I need to go watch a tournament and pick a team to root for it might be good therapy LOL

Right on, I was joking with our oldest over the summer about "renting" another daughter like her even though we still have two high schoolers at home i still miss seeing her play and having her cheerful self around.

She was always so happy to be competing and it always put a smile on my face watching her play. Every year she seemed to kept improving and I would tell her she was like a fine wine, only getting better over time.

As crazy as things could be she had several sports scholarship opportunities but after a lot of careful thought, conversations, and even some dorm stays she made the decision that college sports didn't fit her long term goals but instead wanted to focus on her education & Civic activities. I cried when she told me, happy that she had become such a wonderful person but sad at the same time because I knew things could never be the same again, our little daughter had grown up and was off and couldn't wait to get out to college.

The journey of her and us was so much more than the designation, even though they made regionals one year and lost in a hearbreakers on PK's in the final she was still happy and for that I still remember telling her how happy I was for her to see the mountain top, getting there was the reward for all those hours of training & dedication.
 
My kid quit. Long story, but DD quit and doesn't want to play at all anymore. I put her off for months, but it was obvious where it was headed -- every practice, every game was a struggle. Played club since she was 6 years old and loved it more than anything up until a year ago, it slowly started going downhill. She was playing on a pre-DA team but I guess it was too much commitment and competition for her, she burned out and stopped loving the game somewhere along the way.

I feel so bad for her losing her passion for the game, a game she loved so much and was such a big part of her life. And I feel sorry for myself, not getting to watch her play, she was so talented and such a joy to watch. I hope it never happens to you...
I think you'll be surprised how many of us have gone through this. My oldest DD hung em up her Senior year. I was hoping against hope when a college coach called her to recruit her and I heard her say that she no longer plays...

But it gets better. She's married and have given us our first Grandkid. Guess what sport his Momma wants him play?

Find something else to connect with your daughter. Go skiing, camping or go hike Mt Whitney with her.
 
My kid quit. Long story, but DD quit and doesn't want to play at all anymore. I put her off for months, but it was obvious where it was headed -- every practice, every game was a struggle. Played club since she was 6 years old and loved it more than anything up until a year ago, it slowly started going downhill. She was playing on a pre-DA team but I guess it was too much commitment and competition for her, she burned out and stopped loving the game somewhere along the way.

I feel so bad for her losing her passion for the game, a game she loved so much and was such a big part of her life. And I feel sorry for myself, not getting to watch her play, she was so talented and such a joy to watch. I hope it never happens to you...
Oh Banancorner! I feel your pain!! My DD hung up her cleats about a year ago and it took me soooo long not to walk by a girls' game and not stop and watch....and start talking to the parents - omg! I was a sad mess!!! But I cherish the memories and I'm so glad that she is truly happy and has expanded her interests and has been involved in a lot of different clubs and activities at school that was just impossible to do before because of club. I still have a little one so that helps of course....Wishing you and your DD the best!!
 
Sounds a lot like our situation. But I found the reasons were the opposite. Playing on a team where the girls were not that committed to soccer. When she moved to the DA she rediscovered her passion for soccer surrounding by a group of like minded and skilled girls. I thought she was going to be done but now I get enjoy her senior year plus 4 more years. My other older kids ended their club careers at 16 so I have seen that side too.
 
My sense is that players keep playing when it’s fun. The longer it is fun, the longer they will play. Figuring out how to keep it fun for your player is a challenge for every parent.

Some players thrive by being on power teams. Others thrive fighting power teams alongside their lifelong friends. My kid chose to stay with her community team fighting power teams, and she will also be playing for at least four more years. (The caveat is that in either scenario, you need a good coach.)

There is no one path. The key is knowing your kid and ignoring the bullshit. I hope that your player finds her way back to a place where she enjoys playing.
 
I feel for you, I would be SO sad if my kiddo quit, I enjoy every moment of watching her play the sport we love so much. It has been a huge part of most of her life and we have made incredible memories around it.

I have followed some good advice with her along the way - don't push her. She is on a good team of great kids, but has no desire to do DA even though she would have a chance to make the team. As we have seen friends leave for those programs, she says she wants to be able to participate in the other sports she also loves and is good at, and do other stuff she loves. Although the competitive part of me wants to encourage her to go big, I bite my tongue and focus on her having fun.

They grow up way too fast and you have reminded me to enjoy the ride as I will miss these days so much when they are gone.
 
My kid quit............

I feel so bad for her losing her passion for the game, a game she loved so much and was such a big part of her life. And I feel sorry for myself, not getting to watch her play,...

Sorry to hear.

Over the years, I've observed many of my kids teammates quit for various reasons. Some of them just grew older and life happened to them (puberty makes a big difference). Others lost interest in soccer but found other things to focus on (one kid quit and became the team videographer for the high school surf team and is focusing on filmmaking).

And some, simply got tired of being hurt all the time. One in particular, our next door, their daughter quit when she was a junior in HS because she was tired of being in pain a lot of the times. She just finished taking the bar exam after completing Hastings in SF.

Unless your kid is going pro, this happens to all of us soon or later. We just want to be later than sooner. But, it simply depends - right? So the focus is how best to set your kid up for success as an adult upon graduation. I know what I'm saying is rhetorical but often we lose the sight of real goal for raising our kids.

Rather than hoping for the kid to go backwards to soccer, consider how best to find new passion to channel the energy into. Treasure the soccer memories and go help her create new memories that both of you (her more than you) can be passionate about. Clearly she hasn't lost passion for life.
 
If she is searching for a sport, ex-women soccer players would crush most cyclists if they decided they like watching their feet go around.
 
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