Trying out - How long?

While its fun to play online psychologist and speculate as to what the coach is thinking, what's wrong with simply talking to the coach and asking a couple reasonable questions about where he sees your child. "Hey coach are you still considering my daughter for the team? If so how seriously? If not what are your recommendations for her?" If he can't commit either way then you can make a risk and rewards decision on how to proceed. If there is something wrong with asking a couple reasonable questions, why would you want this individual as your child's coach?

We are far to0 deferential to coaches and clubs for fear our child will miss out on an opportunity. I don't recommend pestering a coach, but providing feedback is part of their job. If they don't think it is than I'd personally find another coach. It's time we take some of the power away from the coaches and clubs. I've learned that we need to take more ownership of our kids soccer path instead of just handing them off to the coach and hoping for the best...while we remain silent. (That can be a recipe for disaster, trust me). My son's coach proactively gives me feedback about my son either directly or implied, so I rarely talk to him other than to shoot the bull.

Granted, It's not always an easy process, but we don't need to complicate it. Best of luck to your daughter.

Penguin said:

I wouldn't say anything to the coach right now (especially asking for 15 minutes of his time after practice) or ask the question you really want to know which is: is my kid good enough to make this team?

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Why wait to know the truth? If the coach doesn't think the kid is good enough and is honest enough to say so, then why waste the next three months with the unrealistic expectation that this is a team she'll end up with? I get the whole "you're getting free training" thing, but if the kid is harboring hopes of playing with this team and bonding with the other kids, it's gonna suck that much harder to not make it. It would be more helpful to spend these next months exploring other opportunities in that scenario. More than likely, it's a "wait and see" situation, and that's fine, too. But the coach might also be able to provide insight on what the kid would need to improve on between now and roster decisions, which could be super valuable. Again, why wait to know that?

From time to time I see people advising parents to not talk to their kid's coach after practice. I don't get it. My kid's got a fantastic coach and he's always available to chat with the parents after practice or games (as long as he doesn't have another one to get to). Because of that accessibility, every parent already knows where their kid stands, so the result is that he almost never HAS to talk to them because there are rarely any questions that he hasn't already addressed. If you are respectful enough of the coach to set it up in advance and aren't pushy or overbearing, this should be no problem. All the good coaches I've dealt with are like that. If talking to a parent about their child is a problem for a youth sports coach, run away. Run far away. Trust me.

. . . I should also add that good coaches let the players themselves know where they stand, and therefore there is less need for parents to ask.

46n2 said:

.....FYI, All the Top Teams have a list of kids they want already.....so your competing against that list as well. Thats another thread though.

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This is not true. Coaches may know and want certain kids/players but to say ALL the Top Teams have their list, is an overstatement.

I say this with 10 years of club soccer experience as a parent and for kid that played at the top tier including DA.

Penguin said:

I wouldn't say anything to the coach right now (especially asking for 15 minutes of his time after practice) or ask the question you really want to know which is: is my kid good enough to make this team? I would wait for these reasons:
1. You are getting free training. If you force the coach to answer the question are you prepared for the coach to say "no, I am not ready to roster your kid, thanks for coming out. Goodbye. " That would leave your child without a place to practice. Even if your kid doesn't make the team she will be more competitive trying out for other teams in Jan./Feb. if she keeps practicing with this team.
2. 06's will be moving from 9 v 9 to 11 v 11 next year. That is good news for you because teams will need to pick up more players. So maybe right now there isn't a spot playing with 9 but spots will open up.
3. Your coach needs to see who shows up to tryouts. If you are an easy parent, your kid is improving, and she is coachable then even if a player shows up to tryouts that is equal to her ability the coach will probably pick your kid.
4. In the interim keep looking to see what teams are out there.
5. If she is one of the weakest players on this team try to find a rec winter soccer league so she can keep her confidence up. When I moved my son up to a higher level team he had to get used to the faster speed of play. It is great to try out moves when playing against weaker players and not hesitate to take a shot, make a move, or go after a ball instead of deferring to better players on a team.

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Your comments ring true to me. Thanks for speaking directly to the situation in our age group - something I've definitely been thinking about.

In response to Mystery Train:
It's not an issue of having an unapproachable coach or being scared. Although my daughter's been at club soccer for nearly 3 years, we've only been with one team and I really still consider myself a newbie (having no soccer background to speak of myself). My question had as much to do with etiquette (as it changes in different youth sports) as it does with the time it takes to evaluate and make decisions as a coach. I think a lot of those questions have been addressed by most of you. Thank you all for chiming in.

VTL1970 said:

It's crazy that tryouts are this prevalent at this point in time. The teams still have State Cups, etc to finish up. Also the ECNL and DA teams don't wrap up until June or so.

My daughter is a 2003 and I don't remember it being this crazy. (I used to also walk uphill both ways to school). CalSouth should consider some rules around timing for all of this movement. It helped with some stability in ECNL last year.

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Some teams have smaller-sized rosters that allow them to add a couple players before National/State Cup during the Thanksgiving window. For players that are unhappy with their current situation, this can be a win/win.